07.18.2013 | 11:22 am
A Note from Fatty: If you want to skip the jibber-jabber and go enter the contest already, just click here.
I love seeing the incredible things that can happen when good people and companies combine their natural inclination to do the right thing into a collective uber-outrageous nexus of awesomeicity.
That’s what’s happening right here, right now, and I really hope you’ll be a part of it. Because if you do, you’ll for sure be drastically changing the lives of children in Zambia — you’ll be a part of why they’re able to stay in school longer, get more work done, get better jobs, make a difference in their families’ well-being, and in general have a better life.
And you’ll for sure be having every dollar you donate matched by Trek. Which means your generosity, right now, is twice as effective as usual.
And — finally — there’s a chance that by being part of this you’ll win a dream bike that is so dreamy that other dream bikes dream about growing up to become this dream bike.
Here. Let me show you.
What You Can Win
You might want to be comfortably seated for this. Not because I think you’re going to pass out, mind you, but because I’m very interested in your personal comfort. That said, the bike we’re going to give away is so incredible it may make you swoon. At retail, in fact, it would be about $15,000 of incredible, and would be a (much) nicer bike than most professionals ride.
One person who donates will be randomly drawn to win a Trek Madone 7 Series Frameset. This is there absolute top-of-the-line road racing frame, and it is incredible.
But you don’t just get the frame in whatever color Trek happens to have in inventory. No. Your bike will be styled with Trek’s Project One customizing program, letting you select from thousands of colors and design schemes, from boldly simple to outrageously cool. Here are just a few of the possibilities…to kinda get your imagination going:
I call this the “Johnny Cash”
Blue flames are scientifically proven to make you go 9% faster.
Candy-apple red: extra-delicious
Of course, a frame isn’t exactly a bike, is it? You’re going to need to get yourself some wheels and stuff to go with this super-zooty Madone frameset.
And as it turns out, the wheels, bar, and stem for this ultra-dream bike will be provided by ENVE Composites, a designer and manufacturer (right here in the USA, thank you very much) of parts so beautiful you can’t help but want to frame them…until you put them on your bike. At which point you’re really glad you didn’t go and put such incredible stuff on your wall.
ENVE is going to let you choose any wheelset from their collection to put on your bike. Personally, I would choose the SES 6.7 Clinchers:
And by “would choose” I mean “did choose.” These are the wheels I ride with on my own personal road bike. And they are amazing. They seriously, genuinely, and for reals make you a faster rider.
Of course, maybe you’d rather go with a deeper rim. Or a shallower one (I have to admit, I was very conflicted over whether to get the 6.7 or the award-winning 3.4). Or maybe you’re wanting to go tubular. Regardless, ENVE’s got you covered.
And then there’s the bar. I love ENVE’s road bars.
I personally went with their Compact Road Bar (42cm version), which fits better than any road bar I have ever ridden before. Plus the integrated bar end plugs (no more lost bar end plugs ever again) are a work of genius.
And then, of course is the ENVE Carbon Stem:
Yes, once again, that’s what I have on my personal road bike. 100mm version, in case you’re curious. ENVE says it wouldn’t be out of place in the Louvre. I say it’s far too sexy for the Louvre.
Even with all this Trek and ENVE goodness, though, you don’t have a complete bike. And that’s where SRAM comes in, with a full complement of SRAM RED – Black Edition components: Shifters, derailleurs, crankset, cassette, everything. It’s the first choice for riders and racers who won’t accept any compromise.
This is the pro-level stuff, folks. Maybe more pro than pro. It’s downright Pro, with caps and italics.
Basically, this bike is going to be so incredibly nice bike — such an incredibly fast bike — that you might find yourself accidentally winning races. Which would be a pleasant surprise.
And in short, you have no idea how much it pains me that, as the person who has put this contest together, I am ineligible to win it.
How the Contest Works and How To Enter
It’s very easy to enter the contest. Just go to this World Bicycle Relief fundraiser page and donate any multiple of $10.00. You know: $10.00, or $20.00, and so forth. For every $10.00 you donate, you get a chance at winning this bike. And since Trek is matching your donation, you’ll actually get double the chances of winning the bike (of course, everyone else does too, so I’ll leave it to the statisticians as to whether your chances actually improve).
But you know what? a World Bicycle Relief bike — the bikes we’re raising money to buy for kids in Zambia — cost $134. So if you donate $134 (or more), we’ll throw in three extra chances for your donation. And that goes for every $134 you donate, so $268 nets you an extra three chances.
You need to donate by the end of day, Wednesday July 31, to have Trek match your donation, and that’s when this contest ends, too.
Pretty easy, right? So go donate now.
What Your Donation Is Doing
Your donations (and Trek’s matching donations) go straight to World Bicycle Relief, which provides bicycles for people who need them in impoverished parts of the world, such as Zambia.
I’ve visited Zambia with World Bicycle Relief, and seen firsthand what a bicycle means there. It means a chance to move past barely surviving to making progress. To finishing school. To getting a better job. To getting to a medical clinic in time. Read my report on bikes to schoolchildren and my report on bikes to caregivers for more information.
Basically, your donation helps get a bombproof, purpose-built bike to someone who will be able to use it to have a better life, and to help others. You’ll be making an immediate, powerful, and permanent difference in someone’s life. And that is pretty amazing.
So really, whether you personally win this incredible bike is not very important. The fact that you’re doing something good is important.
So, again: let me ask you to donate.
Questions? Concerns?
If you’ve got questions or concerns, put them in the comments section. I’ll do my best to answer them, and Katie Bolling of World Bicycle Relief will too.
Here. I’ll get started with a few questions I think I can anticipate.
Q. Is my donation tax-deductible?
A. No. Since there is a possibility that your donation will get you a prize, your donation is not tax-deductible. I hope you’re OK with that. If, however, you’d prefer to donate, not be entered for the drawing (although Trek will still match your donation) and have your donation be tax-deductible, go to the main World Bicycle Relief page and click the Donate button there.
Q. Will the money I donate be safe?
A. Last year, a bunch of people wanting to do the right thing donated to the Paul Kimmage Defense Fund…and then the money disappeared. That can’t and won’t happen with this fundraiser, because I’m never even near the money. Your donations go straight to World Bicycle Relief, the charity your money is intended for. This is good for me personally, too, because it means next April I don’t have to deal with the tax implications of what would appear to the IRS as a big chunk of income.
Q. Do I have to do anything to have Trek match?
A. No, Trek makes the match automatically. You don’t have to do anything.
Q. Can I participate if I live outside the US?
A. Yes you can, but you are responsible for paying customs on the bike if you win, and that will be a considerable amount of money.
Q. I pre-ordered a FatCyclist.com jersey. Am I entered in this contest?
A. Yes. Your jersey purchased netted WBR $40 (half the cost of a short-sleeve jersey!) and netted you five chances at the bike. That pre-order is now ended, by the way.
Comments (36)
07.11.2013 | 6:34 am
An Executive Summary from Fatty: Today’s post tells the story of how I stumbled into the opportunity to turn my jersey pre-order into a way to give away an incredible bike, raise money for World Bicycle Relief, and have that money matched, dollar-for-dollar, by Trek.
I’m worried that for some people, it might be one of those “Too long, didn’t read” posts, though (even though I personally think it’s really interesting), so here are the basics of how the contest works, copied-and-pasted from the details section later in this post:
- The prize that will be given away is a Trek Project One Madone 7 Series Road Bike, painted in the color scheme of your choice. It will have the ENVE road wheels, road handlebars, stem, and seatpost of your choice, and SRAM Red drivetrain, brakes, and levers. This is, quite easily, a $15,000 bike.
- When you purchase a 2014 FatCyclist.com jersey (Short-sleeve Men’s / Women’s or Long-sleeve Men’s / Women’s), Twin Six and I will donate $20 to WBR, netting you two chances at the prize. Trek will match this donation, so your jersey purchase nets World Bicycle Relief $40, and you get two more chances. And WBR will kick in a bonus chance, bringing you up to five total chances at the prize.
- The FatCyclist.com jersey pre-order ends Tuesday, July 16.
- The contest to win the bike continues after the jersey pre-order, going to the end of July 2013. Next week, after the jersey pre-order ends, I’ll be putting up and promoting a donation page, where you can donate directly without purchasing anything, for people who want to help World Bicycle Relief and might like to win an incredible bike, but don’t really want a FatCyclist jersey. Awesomely, Trek will still match your donation.
- Because a prize is on offer, the donation part of your jersey purchase is not tax-deductible.
Thanks!
Some Things Are Meant To Happen, And I’m Pretty Sure This Is One Of Them
I’m not even sure where to start with this story; it doesn’t have a single, simple path. Instead, it starts in a lot of places, and kind of converges here and now.
So let me ask you to stay with me for a bit on this. I think you’ll find it’s worth it.
December, 2012
Last December, I was deep into my “Grand Slam for Zambia 2: This Time It’s Personal” fundraiser when I got an email from Jeremy at ENVE Composites — a maker of beautiful, very high-end carbon wheels and components.
He said he loved what World Bicycle Relief is doing, and he’d like ENVE to help with fundraising for them.
At the time, I had so many prizes on offer that I told him we should stay in touch; at some point there would be a perfect opportunity for ENVE to be a big part of a WBR fundraiser.
May, 2013
After spending several months reading about ENVE wheels and talking with people who have ENVE wheels and beginning to obsess over ENVE components in general, I got a new bike with a set of SES 6.7 Clinchers, a Compact Road Bar, and a 100mm stem.
A couple weeks later, I raced this new bike at the Rockwell Relay, and knocked seventeen minutes off Team Fatty’s previous best during the first stage of the race.
I promise you: the wheels matter.
This Week
This is where the story starts getting a little bit crazy.
Monday: I launched the pre-order for the 2014 FatCyclist.com gear pre-order. Usually with these pre-orders, a big chunk of the profits go to a charity. However, I didn’t have a big event coming up, so — out of laziness I guess — didn’t make a charity a part of the pre-order.
Also Monday: I found out that Trek, during the month of July, is matching donations to World Bicycle Relief, dollar for dollar.
Still Also Monday: A little light bulb went off in my head.
Tuesday: I called Katie at WBR, asking for more information about this matching program. “Is it for all donations to WBR?” I asked.
“Yes it is,” she replied.
“Would you be interested in having a FatCyclist.com fundraiser during July to help really take advantage of Trek’s generosity?” I asked.
“Yes I would,” she said.
“Have you heard of ENVE Composites?” I asked.
“Of course I have,” Katie said.
“Do you happen to know of someone who could donate a really, really, really nice frame as part of a fundraiser for WBR — to go with the ENVE components?”
“As a matter of fact,” said Katie, “I do.”
As it turns out, Trek — as part of their incredibly generous partnership with WBR, had made a Project One Madone 7 Series frameset — Trek’s absolutely highest-end road bike — available for fundraising.
For those of you who don’t know, the Madone 7 is an outrageously great road bike. And the Project One version of it means you get to customize the colors and design scheme so it is yours.
At this point, I fell out of my chair. Don’t worry. I was fine.
And then I called ENVE and said, “Remember how I said I’d find the perfect fundraiser to match you up with? Well, I just found it.”
It didn’t take us long to agree that this was pretty incredible: We were going to give away a Trek Series 7 Madone, tricked out with Project One colors, and set up with ENVE wheels, handlebars, stem, and seatpost, and finished off with the top-of-the-line SRAM Red drivetrain, brakes and levers.
And the best part of it is, every donation made would get doubled, courtesy of Trek.
Wednesday
I called Brent at Twin Six. “Hey,” I said, “You know how the new FatCyclist.com jersey doesn’t have a charity tied to it?”
“Yeah,” Brent said. “That seems a little off to us.”
“Me too,” I said. “So let’s fix it.” And I told them about the Project One / ENVE / SRAM Red dream bike that had just fallen into my lap, and how we were going to use it to get lots and lots of kids in Africa onto bikes, and change their lives.
“How about this,” Brent said. “When anyone orders a jersey — either short sleeves (women’s sizing too) or long sleeves (women’s sizing too)– we’ll have $20 of it go to World Bicycle Relief.”
“Plus,” I said, “Trek doubles their donation, so actually $40 goes to World Bicycle Relief. So, for a short-sleeve jersey, that’s like half the cost of the jersey. And at ten dollars per chance at winning this bike, that’s four chances at winning the bike.”
“Let’s make this retroactive, too,” said Brent. “To be fair to anyone who already purchased a jersey. We’ll donate $20 on their behalf too.”
“That sounds good,” said Katie at WBR when she heard about this, “but how about we give jersey purchasers — whether they already bought one or are going to buy one now — a bonus chance, as thanks for supporting Fatty and WBR?”
The Details
So now you know how a FatCyclist.com fundraiser comes together: basically through luck, fortunate timing, and a lot of good people who love to do the right thing.
Just in case your head’s swimming from all the back and forth here, here are the essentials of how this contest will work:
- The prize that will be given away is a Trek Project One Madone 7 Series Road Bike, painted in the color scheme of your choice. It will have the ENVE road wheels, road handlebars, stem, and seatpost of your choice, and SRAM Red drivetrain, brakes, and levers. This is, quite easily, a $15,000 bike.
- When you purchase a 2014 FatCyclist.com jersey (Short-sleeve Men’s / Women’s or Long-sleeve Men’s / Women’s), Twin Six and I will donate $20 to WBR, netting you two chances at the prize. Trek will match this donation, so your jersey purchase nets World Bicycle Relief $40, and you get two more chances. And WBR will kick in a bonus chance, bringing you up to five total chances at the prize.
- The FatCyclist.com jersey pre-order ends Tuesday, July 16.
- The contest to win the bike continues after the jersey pre-order, going to the end of July 2013. Next week, after the jersey pre-order ends, I’ll be putting up and promoting a donation page, where you can donate directly without purchasing anything, for people who want to help World Bicycle Relief and might like to win an incredible bike, but don’t really want a FatCyclist jersey. Awesomely, Trek will still match your donation.
- Because a prize is on offer, the donation part of your jersey purchase is not tax-deductible.
Honestly, I’m pretty much amazed at this contest. It’s a dream frame, customized to your personality, with incredible above-top-end wheels and components. This is, quite literally, going to be a nicer bike than what all but very few top pros ride.
More importantly, though — because after all, only one person’s going to win this bike — no matter what, you’re going to be making a huge difference in people’s lives. A bike for a girl in Zambia means she can stay in school longer. Have more time for studying. Get water for her family easier. Have a greater range of work opportunities. You can learn more over at WBR’s site, or maybe watch a little slideshow from my trip to Zambia here.
Thank you, and good luck!
Comments (97)
07.10.2013 | 10:23 am
A Note from Fatty: The 2014 Team Fatty Gear pre-order is in full swing. Check out all the goods over at Twin Six, and then buy until it hurts. Please. I’m so hungry.
I have some good news (for me), and some bad news (for me). Let’s start with the good news, shall we? Here goes:
I am the fittest I have ever been.
That’s a bold claim, but I’m willing to stand behind it. I am light. I am strong. I have excellent speed. I have fantastic endurance. I am uninjured.
And while I am certainly be beaten by some of the fastest riders in the area, and while it’s never even been a remote possibility that I’ll ever succeed in any kind of mainstream racing — much less in a mainstream sport — the fact is I have posted times that put me in the top twenty of many of the iconic local climbs (like the Alpine Loop climb, or the North Suncrest climb, or Squaw Peak, or the Little Cottonwood Canyon climb)
Somehow, at age 47, I have become a better athlete than I ever have been at any other point in my life.
Which leads me to the bad news, which is that I’m almost certainly experiencing a Peak Fitness Event.
Peak Fitness Event, Defined
“What is a Peak Fitness Event?” you might quite reasonably ask, since I’m pretty sure i just made the term up (at least for what I mean by it).
Well, your Peak Fitness Event is the point in your life where you are the fittest you have ever been, and — this is the bad news part — more fit than you ever will be again. In other words, your Peak Fitness Event is the moment when you are literally in the best shape of your life.
For most jocks, the Peak Fitness Event (PFE for short) occurs sometime in high school, or possibly college. They participate in team sports while they’re young and get in shape easily and no matter what they eat they don’t gain weight.
Then they get jobs, have surgery on their knees, adjust their priorities, and supplant their participation in sports in the real world with the viewing of sports on television.
As a person who lettered in debate in high school, I did not peak quite so early. In fact, apart from a brief stint as a pole vaulter in junior high (due to Bruce Jenner worship), the occasional racquetball game was pretty much the extent of my exercise until I hit my mid twenties. Then it was endurance rollerblading for a few years (yes, I can admit it), and then — finally — cycling.
A Very Helpful Chart
All of which leads us to now, and to my premise: I am currently experiencing a PFE. Which is to say, I am — possibly for the first time in my life — pretty much about as fit as I can be.
The problem is the whole “forty-seven-ness” of my fitness. Meaning that I managed to hit my ceiling of potential fitness a few years after that ceiling started its ominous and inexorable descent, the final result of which is certain to be me crushed like a bug, kind of like that trash compactor scene in Star Wars, but rotated ninety degrees.
In other words, my maximum possible fitness has started a downward slope, which has collided rather nastily against my actual fitness, for the first time ever. Here, let me show you, using a very scientific and accurate chart, which I created using sophisticated software and copious quantities of well-vetted data:
Here, the blue line represents how fit I could be, in an ideal world. The red line shows how fit I actually have been at various ages (the dotted red line is my very optimistic projection for my future fitness).
You see what’s happened here? Just about the time I finally get this whole exercise and food and cycling thing nailed, my body has the gall — the unmitigated gall – to go and start betraying me. For example, I took four ibuprofen tablets when I woke up this morning just out of habit.
The New Aspirations
Still, I remain optimistic. For one thing, there’s the possibility that I’m not quite at my PFE yet. Like, maybe I can get a little faster this year, and maybe even a little faster next year. But you know…I kind of doubt it. I mean, Kenny — who is a mere two years older than I am — suddenly started being vulnerable in races pretty much two years ago.
In case you have trouble with math, I think this means that Kenny — my archetype for fast riding — hit his PFE about two years ago (perhaps a year early due to an adulthood of excessive beer consumption).
So no. the potential of having one more year before my PFE really happens is not my real reason for being optimistic.
Rather, it’s the possibility — rapidly becoming a probability — of being the Grizzled Veteran Racer (GVR). The GVR is the guy who, in spite of being in his sixties or seventies (and sometimes, awesomely, eighties), shows up at races, lines up, and gets it done.
He isn’t the fastest guy on the course. He doesn’t need to be. The fact that he’s out there, still training, still racing. His mere presence is inspiring — he’s the guy who all the racers in their forties look to and say, “I hope I’m that guy in twenty years.”
You know the guy.
Well, I figure I’m roughly thirteen years away from being that guy. I look forward to regaling you with stories of my glory days.
Meanwhile, I am busy. Very busy indeed, in fact. You see, now that I’ve realized I’m hitting (or will shortly hit) my PFE and am headed for the Long Taper (which is my new euphemism for old age), I have come to an important epiphany:
I need to get as many KOMs on Strava as I possibly can, as soon as I possibly can.
Before it’s too late.
Comments (41)
07.8.2013 | 9:01 am
A Note from Fatty for People Who Just Want the Link: If you’re in no mood to read and read and read just to find the links to the 2014 FatCyclist.com gear, you’ll find all of it on my very own page at Twin Six.
And here’s a quick bullet list of links for what’s available, for you impatient types:
Remember, the pre-order ends on July 16. Everything will ship in September.
Usually, I start with a lot of jibber-jabber. And no small amount of hyperbole.
I try to build some excitement, try to tease you a little, try to build a little buzz. I figure that if I get you worked up a little bit, you’ll be as enthused about the FatCyclist.com jerseys, shorts and other gear as I am.
But for the 2014 FatCyclist.com gear, what I really want to do is just show you. Because I simply cannot imagine that you won’t think this is a monumentally cool-looking jersey.
So. Check it out (women’s version too!):
When you first look at it, you can’t help but love the subtlety of it. The understated elegance. And then you look a little closer:
Yep, an infinite field of pie, bratwurst, and the FatCyclist.com logo. The very concept of it is just so…so…perfect.
And here’s the equally perfect back of the jersey:
A few details:
- This is available in both men’s and women’s sizing. For what it’s worth (not much!) I wear a size Medium when I weigh less than 165; I wear a Large when I weigh 165 – 180; I wear an XL when I weigh 180+.
- The zipper is full-length. And it’s hidden, so as to not disrupt the beautiful pattern.
- There are 3 pockets. Each of them is deep and large enough to hold a couple bratwurst. Or a slice of pie. Although I’d think carefully about packing pie on a ride.
- “Fight Like Susan” is on the inside collar, as it is every year.
- Made in the USA. In fact, all the FatCyclist.com clothing items are made in the USA.
It may be difficult to imagine right now — with temperatures in the low ten-thousands — but someday it’s going to be Autumn again. Indeed, one might say that Winter is coming.
So maybe you should have something nice and cozy for those cold days on the bike. May I recommend the thermally-soft-and-warm FatCyclist.com long sleeve jersey?
It has the same design as the short-sleeve jersey, with the same pockets and fit, but the inside is nice and fleecy and warm. This is the jersey you’ll wear more often than any other from October through March.
That’s half the year. Almost. And it feels like 2/3 of the year
It seems to me that you deserve a nice jersey for the cold half (almost) of the year, too.
Bib Shorts (Men’s and Women’s)
I wear Twin Six bib shorts on pretty much every ride — both road and mountain biking. That includes hundred-mile mountain bike races or training rides with 13,000 feet of climbing. And I never need any kind of chamois cream. Is this because I am an uncharacteristically hardy man, able to withstand extraordinary pain?
No.
It’s because these are really good bib shorts, at a price way below the price of most really good bib shorts. And here’s what the FatCyclist bib shorts are going to look like this year:
It’s a little tricky to crack the code on this illustration, so I’ll help you out. The Pie / Bratwurst / Horse pattern is on the suspenders, for you and you alone to admire as you check out your fabulous physique in the mirror prior to donning your jersey.
The “WIN” logo goes right above your butt. People behind you will think it’s a challenge. You, of course, know better.
Wind Jacket
The wind. It scares me. It slows you down and — on a cool day — freezes you. And while this wind jacket won’t do anything about the “slowing you down” part, it can help you not be anywhere near as miserable.
Note that the wind jacket — unlike jerseys — does not have back pockets.
I’ve also used this jacket for the rain. And while it’s by no means waterproof, it does a pretty darned good job of keeping out everything but a full-on downpour.
And when you don’t need to wear it, it rolls up nice an small, fitting into one of your jersey pockets.
Ta da.
Wind Vest
It’s like a wind jacket! But without arms! Because sometimes, you just need a little something to protect your core.
The FatCyclist.com wind vest is exactly that something.
Socks
I am a simple man, with simple needs. And one of those needs is to not have to have one kind of sock for riding my bike and another kind of sock for those unfortunate moments during which I am not riding my bike.
Which brings us to the new FatCyclist.com sock:
This is a sock that looks exactly right when you’re on the bike, but stealthy enough that you can wear as business socks, or wherever. Including with sandals. In fact, especially with sandals. A 5″ cuff looks awesome with sandals, and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Cycling Cap
You can’t be dressed head-to-toe in FatCyclist.com gear unless you’ve actually got something on your head. This tech cycling cap — which means it wicks really nicely and is fantastic for wearing both off and on the bike — should do the trick nicely.
And a little tip for the guys: these caps cover baldness really really well. Not that I would know anything about baldness.
Hydroflo Bottle With Watergate Cap
I am pretty much completely obsessed with water bottles. I like the bottles to be reasonably big. I like them to stay put in their cage. I like them to be easy to squeeze. i like them to not retain the taste of the last thing that was in them. I like liquid to come out when it should, and to stay in when it should.
These are all reasonable wants. But there is only one bottle that actually does this. And that is the Specialized Hydroflo bottle with the Watergate cap. It is, without question or exception, the best bottle there is.
Here’s how much I like them: I bought twenty for myself last year. It’s one of the best bike-related purchases I’ve ever made, too, because now I no longer have to use bottles that are hard to squeeze with valves that have ridiculous locking mechanisms or lids that dribble liquid out.
I’m not saying you should buy twenty of these. But you know, maybe you should buy a couple. You’ll see.
Pre-Order Week Starts Today!
Every year, I put my FatCyclist.com gear up for pre-order, for just a few days. This year, the pre-order goes July 8-16. So be sure to not wait to place your order.
If you’ve got any questions, ask them in the comments box; I’ll do my best to answer them ASAP.
Thanks!
PS: A huge thanks goes out to Twin Six for — once again — outdoing themselves with a fantastic design.
PPS: Congrats to Nancy S, who won the complete FatCyclist.com kit by randomly being selected from the folks who bought a Twin Six T-Shirt of the month subscription. Email me, Nancy!
Comments (48)
07.3.2013 | 8:36 am
A Note from Fatty About Today’s Story: This is the final part of an eleven-part race report. If you’re just jumping in now, you may want to start from the beginning. Here are links for parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten.
We were almost done.
We had — since eight in the morning the previous day — raced 470 miles. Now it was 11am, already ninety degrees out, and we had a scant ten minute lead on our nearest competition. Heather now had a five-mile, 700-foot climb, followed by a rolling downhill to the finish line in St. George.
We were feeling confident.
See, Heather is one of those odd people who seems to get stronger and stronger, the longer she races. And she was back on home turf, riding toward roads she knows.
And — perhaps above all — she knew that once she finished, we could all go back to Heather and Kenny’s home and get a shower. And then sleep the afternoon away before the awards ceremony.
Never in the history of the world has their been such a good incentive to ride fast.
The Wind and the Gecko
Heather’s first leg of this race had been brutal. Between the heat and the mechanical issues and the wind — more than anything, the wind — Heather had to dig pretty deep to stay above 15mph…and that’s when she was going downhill.
And now the wind was back. But this time, it was at Heather’s back. And she was in a riding / racing groove. And her bike had ceased playing pranks on her.
And to cap it all off, about the time she summited the five-mile climb, the rider from Team Green Gecko 1 caught up with her, and — true to his word — made himself Heather’s domestique, taking long pulls and making incredibly fast time toward St. George.
Naturally, Heather took turns pulling as well, but — at roughly one-quarter the Green Gecko rider’s size — Heather didn’t give him much of a draft.
With the two of them riding together, it was incredibly easy for us to support both Heather and Team Green Gecko 1. Though to be honest, they didn’t require much, just zooming along.
At the rate they’d be going, this would be a sub-two-hour ride.
Big Finish
We made our last support stop in Veyo, foolishly neglecting to stop at the famous (yes it is actually famous) Veyo Pie Shop to score some pie.
Yes, we were too tired for pie. Try to wrap your mind around that.
After that, it was a quick drive to St. George, where we parked the van at the finish line, got our bikes out, and started retracing the race route to where we figured we’d wait for Heather and the Green Gecko racer.
We didn’t have to wait long.
In fact, we didn’t have to wait at all.
They had gone so fast that Heather and the Green Gecko racer were very nearly to the finish line when we caught up with them. We pulled a U-turn, let the Green Gecko guy go on ahead. It would be more important to his team to get a higher overall; we were just after the coed win.
Heather and the Gecko rider, together, had just put together an outrageously fast final leg: Heather’s time was 1:47 for this 39-mile ride. To put this in perspective, in 2011, she did this same leg in 2:30; in 2012 she did it in 2:24.
And then we were across.
Twenty eight hours, forty one minutes. And no seconds. Our fastest racing of the Rockwell Relay: Moab to St. George, by more than an hour (our previous best was in 2011, with 29:53:30).
Of course, there were team photos galore, but first we wanted to get a shot with the racer from Team Gecko, who had been with us for the last 1.5 stages of the race.
It’s amazing, really, how every year there’s a team or two we wind up racing against, and becoming friends with. This year, definitely, it was Team Lifetime’s Beauty and the Beasts (who had a finishing time of 29:12:45):
And Team Green Gecko, all of whom eventually did make it to the finish line:
This had been the absolutely most intense, exciting, dramatic, and fun race experience of my life — as demonstrated by the fact that I’ve pretty much written a book about it.
We sat in the shade for a few minutes, relishing the feeling of laziness. Of not having to ride, or drive, or support, or anything.
Then we agreed that we had been outside enough for one day (or is that two days?). We went back to Kenny and Heather’s house, showered, and crashed. Then woke up in time to head back to the park for the award ceremony:
We each got the awesome finishers’ rings, along with cool Rockwell watches, and The Hammer got a set of JayBird BlueBuds X — awesome Bluetooth headphones, which I am way overdue to write a review about.
Then, strangely, Kenny won two more Rockwell Watches during the raffle, so now — including his watches from previous Rockwell Relay races — he has a Rockwell watch for every day of the week.
Afterward
Kenny, Heather, The Hammer and I went to dinner somewhere; I don’t even remember where. We were all just barely coherent. But I do remember we talked about everything that had happened during the past couple days, and how we definitely would be back to race again next year.
“You know that someone, at some point, is going to completely kick our butts at this race, right?” The Hammer asked.
Yeah, we all acknowledged. We knew. Especially with the big ol’ Braggy McLoudmouth stories I write about our race every year. That’s just the way it goes.
Which gave me an idea for a decal we could make to put on the team van.
We’ll be back next year. Kenny will be 50; I’ll be 48. Heather will be 45, and The Hammer will be 46. Team Fatty is starting to sound kinda like a Master’s Coed team, if you ask me.
But we do not intend to give up our dynasty without a fight.
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