It’s December 2nd, often called Giving Tuesday. It’s also the penultimate day of my Great Fatsby pre-order.
So how about this: today, I’m going to donate ALL profits from pre-orders of The Great Fatsby, the Great Fatsby t-shirt, and the Team Fatty jersey to World Bicycle Relief.
But here’s the really crazy part: since the profits will be matched, the amount of money donated to WBR will in many cases be more than the cost of the item itself.
Here, let me give you a few examples.
If You Pre-Order The Great Fatsby
Let’s just suppose you pre-order the Kindle version of The Great Fatsby. That costs you $9.95. Amazon.com takes a cut out of every Kindle book I sell, so my profit is $9.05. I’ll donate that whole $9.05. But also, that $9.05 gets matched anonymously, so the amount World Bicycle Relief gets when you pre-order this $9.95 book is $18.10.
Plus, by ordering it you still get two chances at winning any Ibis bike you want or getting into the Leadville 100.
Yeah, I know. Crazy. But true.
And just so we understand each other, this is a pre-order where you can specify the email where the redemption code will go. You (or whoever you specify in the email) will get the redemption code on December 10.
The math works out pretty similarly for paper versions of the book, although I can’t give you as exact of numbers (because the hard costs of the printed version depend on how many copies I order). But here’s a guestimate of how much will be donated for the various flavors of the book:
If You Pre-Order A T-Shirt or Jersey
At $124.95, The Long-Sleeve Tecno Wool Long Sleeve Jersey is maybe already the best deal on a clothing Item I’ve ever offered. But with 100% of the profits being donated and matched to WBR today, that means you get a screaming deal on a beautiful, comfortable, Italian-made wool jersey…and WBR gets about $70.00 (and you get SIX chances at the bike and Leadville 100 entry).
So if you buy two, WBR makes enough to buy a bike for a schoolgirl in Zambia.
Matched set, anyone?
By the way, today is the last day you can order these Long-Sleeve Jerseys and still get them in time for Christmas.
As far as t-shirts go, if you buy one for $19.95, pretty much that exact amount gets donated to WBR (plus you get two chances at the prizes).
Astonishing. It’s like some insane and generous alchemy!
But What About Bundles?
The bundles are already discounted, so of course there’s a little bit less profit built in to those. Still, here’s how things work out (not exact, because my prices depend on how many of different things I sell):
It’s pure madness, I tell you.
And, dare I say it: perhaps a really good reason to pre-order some Great Fatsby books and gear as Christmas presents.
A Note from Fatty: Today’s guest post comes from Dan Wuori, the back-page columnist for Velo Magazine. He also agreed to write the Foreword to my (very) soon-to-be-published The Great Fatsby: The Best of FatCyclist.com, Vol. 2.
Also, he wrote the Middleword, something I don’t think many books have. I was joking when I asked him to write this, but he seemed willing, so I went with it.
Finally, I asked him to write a Backword, too. By the time I asked him to write this, I was just seeing if there was anything Dan would say “no” to. Evidently, there is not.
In the interest of full disclosure, however, Dan did have a few demands before he would agree to write these three things in my book:
- That I ask everyone who reads my blog to follow Dan on Twitter and tell you how great he is.
(Hey everyone, follow Dan on Twitter! He’s really great!)
- Pay him in 30% in Bitcoin, 30% in Dogecoin, and 30% in one-dollar bills, printed exclusively during years that are divisible by both three and seven. He seemed unaware that this did not come to 100%, and I wasn’t about to tell him.
- That, should we ever meet in person, I would salute him and greet him by saying, “Hail, Son of Krypton.”
Also, you should know: Anyone who buys the signed and inscribed copy of The Great Fatsby today, tomorrow, or Wednesday will also get their book signed by Dan.
And also, from now through Wednesday, you can use the FAT20 code to get 20% off on all your Great Fatsby pre-order purchases.
Guest Post from Dan Wuori
When Elden told me he planned to name his next book The Lament of the Purple Snipe, I told him it was quite possibly the worst title I had ever heard. But when he rang to explain that the name was a callback to a blog post about a groin injury (in which “snipe” was actually an anagram for the word “penis”), I had a change of heart – and told him it was definitively the worst.
In the end he named his bookThe Great Fatsby. It is my fervent hope that this is not another of Elden’s “clever” anatomical references..
Alright, that’s not entirely true. He called it The Great Fatsby because I thought it was funny and told him I wouldn’t write the foreword unless he did.
This also wasn’t true.
Maybe no one has ever asked you to write a foreword, but let me tell you it’s like the perfect Ocean’s Eleven-style heist. You do 1/500 th of the work and still end up in the Amazon.com search listings as if you’ve actually done something. You’d really have to be an idiot to say no. Still I told Fatty I wanted naming rights to the book, just to see who had the upper hand in this relationship.
I thought for a brief time it was me. But that was before I started writing.
I’ve been reading Elden’s blog for years. We don’t know each other well, but we both love cycling and share a certain sensibility as writers. The difference is that I’m much more content to write a magazine column once a month (over which I labor as if creating a plan to broker peace or rid the world of unsolicited Candy Crush invitations), whereas Elden manages to spew forth three times weekly with nary a proof read.
“I prefer first draft mediocrity,” he once told me.
[Note from Fatty: That is in fact an actual quote, and not out of context, either.]
But the truth is he takes this blog very seriously – and puts in a tremendous amount of time and effort to produce what you read here each week. The problem is, he expects others – namely me — to share his work ethic, which I’ve come to learn the hard way over the past several months as I’ve watched my 1/500th grow. And grow. And grow.
First there was the foreword. You know, the thing I actually agreed to write. Then he calls to say that he thinks the book needs a middleword. I thought I had the perfect out when I told him that there was no such thing and to leave me alone. But the next thing I knew I was writing a middleword. And a backwards. Suddenly I was feeling less like Danny Ocean and more like that casino owner Andy Garcia played, but whose name I’m just too lazy to Google.
And don’t even get me started on the edits. Even writing for American cycling’s journal of record, I’m not used to the kind of editorial scrutiny this guy exercises.
Can I make it little longer? Can I rework the ending? Can I add some dialogue in French so we can impress Johnny Depp? (Bonjour Johnny! Ca va?) The guy is full of demands.
And now the latest: can I write up a guest post for the blog? Well guess what? I just did.
Who’s the alpha dog now, Fatty?
(SHOP NOW: For a limited time only, if you purchase Dan Wuori’s new book Foreword, you will receive Elden Nelson’s The Great Fatsby for free. Or buy the deluxe version of the foreword for $123.96, use the FAT20 discount code and get the book, jersey, and a t-shirt for free!)
We’re down to the last few days of the pre-order of The Best of FatCyclist: Volume 2 – The Great Fatsby. And also—I know this will come as a big shock to a lot of you—beginning with today, everyone is putting everything on sale!
And I didn’t want to feel left out.
So, for the last few days of The Great Fatsby pre-order (now through Wednesday), you can use the FAT20 promo code to knock 20% off your pre-order.
Not just on the book, either. On everything, including the bundles, which are already nicely discounted.
Which means, for example, that you could buy the Great Fatsby Super Bundle—a signed and inscribed book, the long-sleeve wool tec-merino jersey, and the t-shirt—for $123.96.
Which, if you’re not too good at math, means that you’re getting the signed and inscribed book and the t-shirt for free.
And just in case you are wondering, yes, the FAT20 promo code will work on your whole order (with the exception of the $10 WBR donation — a $10 donation is still a $10 donation).
But Wait! There’s More!
Even with the 20% discount, you’re still getting the cool stuff that makes this pre-order really awesome (besides the fact that you’re going to be getting around 350 pages of my very best work, newly edited and footnoted practically into oblivion).
- Chances at winning the Ibis bike of your choice: I don’t know if anyone else is giving away the Mojo HD3 that everyone is raving about (seriously, everyone is going nuts about this bike). Or you can get my personal choice, the Tranny 29. Or a Ripley 29. Or a Hakkalugi Disc. Whatever your pleasure, SRAM will gear it up with absolute top-end parts.
- Chances at getting into the Leadville 100. That’s right, you and I could be hanging out and freaking out over racing the hardest-to-get-into, highest-in-America mountain bike century there is. That would rock.
- 25% of the profits go to WBR: That is a serious donation. And the cool thing is, that 25% donation is going to get matched, dollar for dollar, turning it into a 50% donation. Killer.
Curious About the Jersey and How It Fits?
One of the things I’m really excited about in this pre-order is the Team Fatty Tecno-Merino Wool Long-Sleeve Jersey.
it’s an incredibly comfortable and beautiful jersey—something you could wear both on and off the bike.
Wear it with a base layer or right against the skin—either way works great.
And I’ve got a size for most everyone: all the way from XXS to 5XL. Those of you who haven’t been able to get a FatCyclist jersey before because I haven’t had sizes small or large enough…well, now you can.
And they’re made in Italy. Yeah.
And with the FAT20 code, you can score one for under $100 now. Yes, a long-sleeve, high-quality, Tecno-Merino jersey for less than $100.
But quite a few of you have wondered what size will fit you. And I wondered the same thing. So The Hammer went to DNA Cycling, my partner for these jerseys, and tried on a couple of jerseys with the same cut. These should hopefully help you make a decision.
For reference, here’s a little bit about how tall and heavy The Hammer and I are right now (and yes, we’re definitely moving into our off-season weight):
- Lisa (aka The Hammer): 5’7”, 128lbs.
- Me: 5’7”, 168lbs. (Yeah, yeah, I’ve put ten pounds on since September.)
Here’s The Hammer wearing a size Medium:
As you can see, it’s a loose fit, even though she’s got a t-shirt underneath. She could easily wear a Small for a closer fit, which is probably what she’ll get for herself. That said, sizing up to a Medium means she can wear it more as a comfortable, loose-fitting sweater.
(Unfortunately, DNA didn’t have any of the Small in stock, so I can’t show you how those would fit her)
And here I am, wearing a Medium:
I’m wearing this right against the skin. It fits perfect for riding: not tight, but close-fitting.
If I were just wearing this casually, I’d want a size Large:
Still fits great, but a more relaxed, looser feel.
Oh, and just to give you a feel for what the back of the jersey looks like:
There are three traditional jersey pockets, as well as a zipped additional pocket in the back for your phone. That little white rectangle in the bottom center is reflective.
And here’s a close-up of the color and texture of the wool, as well as the nice easy-pull zipper (the zipper pull is on the left, in case you care):
Using the FAT20 promo code, you can get this jersey on its own for $99.96, with a signed copy of the book for $111.92, or with the Great Fatsby t-shirt and signed, inscribed copy of The Great Fatsby for $123.96.
Meet Dan Wuori
One last thing here: Dan Wuori, the hilarious genius behind the back page column in Velo magazine, has written the Foreword (along with a Middleword…and a Backword…which I’ll get to in another post) for The Great Fatsby. If you buy a book with a signed inscription today, I’ll get him to sign the book as well.
Which, honestly, raises the value of the book to that of a fully-tricked-out Yugo. Easily.
Why Am I Doing This?
I haven’t traditionally done discounts, and I am a little bit nervous about this one. But here’s the thing: I’m self-publishing this, and the more books I order from the printer, the less each costs. At this point, I haven’t yet hit the 1000 book price break.
Which means that sales aren’t as awesome as I’d like them to be. Which bums me out just a titch, because I am outrageously proud of this book. It’s about 350 pages (yes, longer than I originally anticipated, thanks to a lot of footnotes) of what I consider to be some of my very best work.
And from a purely selfish, contest-oriented perspective, the lower sales combined with the fact that I’m giving away a bike and an entry into Leadville, means that this might not be a bad thing for you to jump on, because your chances of scoring a bike in this contest are probably somewhat better than they usually are in my contests.
Regardless of whether you buy one thing, lots of things, or nothing, I do want to thank you for reading this blog. It’s been an awesome (almost) ten years.
A Recap Note from Fatty: In social media and the comments, a few people have asked whether my book pre-order still has the contest component going on, so I thought it might be a good idea to do a quick re-cap of the highlights and logistics of my The Great Fatsby: The Best of FatCyclist.com Volume 2 pre-order:
- What: The pre-order is a chance for you to pre-order my new book (regular, signed, inscribed, or Kindle), as well as a very cool tecno-merino wool jersey and t-shirt, (or a discounted bundle) with delivery by Christmas (as long as you live in the US).
- The Contest Part: Depending on what you buy (the description for each item lists how many chances that item includes), you automatically are entered to win your choice of any Ibis bike, which will be equipped with top-of-the-line SRAM components.
- The Charitable Giving Part: 25% of all profits will go to World Bicycle Relief. And that 25% gets anonymously matched, so WBR winds up getting 50%. Which is kind of mindboggling.
- When: The Pre-order goes through December 3.
- Where: Click here for the complete list of items. And thank you.
Thankful, 2014 Edition
2014 has been an exceptional year for me.
That is not, by the way, how I wrote the introductory sentence on the first or second time. Originally, I said “hard year” and then tried “challenging year.”
But I like “exceptional year” better, and I’m thankful for a lot of it.
I am thankful for patience. There have been a lot of things that have kept me up at night this year—some of them blog-related (yes, sometimes I fret about this blog), some of them family-related, some of them career-related.
Ten years ago, any one of those things would have had me worried sick for days. I guess I’ve seen enough now, though, that I’m able to keep focused and keep moving forward, affecting what I can, accepting what I can’t.
I don’t know if I can claim much in the way of wisdom; I’ve never gone out of my way to seek wisdom out. But I think I’ve become a little more patient—both with people and events—and I think that’s a pretty fair substitute for wisdom.
I am thankful for health and strength. I am 48.5 years old now, and I predict that I will, sometime within the next two years, turn 50. I think that ought to freak me out, but it doesn’t (this may change without notice of course).
Why? Because at 48.5, I’m faster, stronger, tougher, and healthier than I was at 28.5.
I get sick very rarely, and when I do, it’s never been anything serious (I don’t think I’ve ever even had the flu).
The bicycle—and my love for the bicycle—has given me this gift of health, and as someone who has seen what true illness is, I am thankful for my health.
I am thankful for my friends. I’m at the age where everyone’s busy, all the time, and it’s easy to not do much with your friends. I missed the Core Team’s Fall Moab trip this year because I needed to work on The Best of FatCyclist.com Volume 2, and I’m still disappointed. That said, I feel like some of us reconnected this year, and I’m very thankful for that.
I’m thankful for the generosity of Team Fatty. I do very little projects, and for some reason all of you magnify them into things that are very big. You’ve changed thousands of lives; I love being a part of this.
I’m thankful for my kids. And by “my kids,” I mean both kids and stepkids. I didn’t realize that it would take a while before we all found a place in the family, and I won’t claim that everything feels seamless yet, but I feel really fortunate to have any part at all in all seven of these fantastic people’s lives.
I’m thankful for Lisa. Sure, on the blog I usually call her “The Hammer,” but in real life she’s Lisa, and I count myself very fortunate to be married to someone who loves the people and activities I love too.
I hope you’ve had an exceptional year too, and I hope you have plenty to be thankful for. I’d love to read about what’s on your mind.
A Note from Fatty: I’m happy to announce that my second Best of FatCyclist.com book, The Great Fatsby, is nearly finalized and going to the printer next week.
I’m even happier to announce that I’m genuinely happy with how it’s turned out. It’s about 350 pages (fifty or so pages more than the first volume), the intros, edits and annotations actually make the reading experience better, and Velo’s Dan Wuori has an awesome Foreword…and Middleword…and Backword. Yes, really.
To check out the book—and the beautiful tecno-merino long-sleeve jersey also on pre-order—by Christmas, click here. Thanks!
As a Serious Cyclist, I Demand You Take Me Seriously
I’ll thank you very much to not mock my lifestyle, for I am a very serious cyclist. I have made incredible sacrifices to get to where I am today. I want you to respect them for what they are, and to see me as the dynamic, steel-eyed figure I see myself as.
You want examples? Oh, I’ve got examples. You may want to sit down, though, because these are going to rock your world.
The overarching theme to my cycling is that I suffer. When I am riding my bike up a mountain pass (I do not trifle with things so mundane as hills), I evoke the image of a figure both heroic and tragic. “Who is this man?” passersby would wonder, if only there were someone to see me. “Who is this man who attacks the mountain with such cold fury? Such power? Such wrath melded with stoicism?”
People in the metal coffins they call cars—mere sheep, I despise them!—pass and look at me with what must be envy. I do not deign to return their gaze; they are mere sheep.
Instead, I ignore them and focus my energies—every nanogram of effort I can muster—into the pedals. “What emotional furnace drives him to push his body to its limits so? Is he paying penance? How is it possible that one man can exert such an extraordinary force of will?”
And lastly and above all, “Why does he suffer so?”
That is what they would say about me if they could look into my soul, if they had the capacity to understand how serious I am about cycling.
But they do not say any of these things. How could they? They do not (could not!) understand.
This is one of the reasons I hold them in contempt.
Look at me. No, don’t be afraid. Take a good long look. Is there anything about my appearance that does not indicate I am very serious about my cycling?
My bib shorts are of the highest quality; the chamois alone is the product of more R&D than the automobile (a hybrid, I assure you) I drive when I am not on a bike. (Which, I assure you, is rarely.)
My glasses match my helmet, both of which match my jersey, which is as form-fitting as it is light. By the way, I resent my helmet, because my idols did not wear them and I consider them an insinuation that my bike handling skills are not sufficient to successfully resolve any situation that might arise.
Have no doubt that everything I own goes well with my shoes, and my socks are the proper length dictated by the most recent issue of Peloton magazine (which is the only magazine I find adequately serious for my cycling needs).
My legs are freshly shaven, as are my arms.
My face is studiously neutral. I have cultivated this expression so it appears this way at all times. You will never know whether I am about to attack or to be dropped.
My game face is my only face. I take my cycling that seriously.
Riding With Others
You say that you also ride a bike, and that we should ride together sometime? Well, I admire your audacity; I’ll give you that. But we could never ride together until I know a few key facts about whether you take cycling seriously enough to ride with my group.
First, I need to know whether you intend to wear that helmet with the visor clip on the ride. You know that’s a mountain bike helmet, don’t you? And that this will be a road bike ride? Don’t embarrass both of us by showing up with that.
Can you hold a speed within one one-hundredth of a mile per hour, without looking at a speedometer? Everyone in my group can. Can you hold your line within one millimeter (as a serious cyclist, I measure everything in metrics)? If you can’t, there’s no place for you in my group.
Under what circumstances do you ride in a paceline, and under which is an eschelon preferable? What is the correct duration of a pull? How do you signal that you want someone to pull through? When did you most recently shave your legs?
I need to know all of these things. Fill out this form, make 15 copies, and I’ll get back to you. My very serious riding compatriots and I will think very seriously whether you are worthy of advancing to the next stage of the group ride interview process.
Tell me everything you know about Eddy Merckx. It’s important to me that you can speak about him in reverential enough tones and that you are fully versed in his life and racing statistics.
You don’t know that much about him, because he retired from cycling before you even knew professional cycling even existed? Obviously, you don’t take your racing history very seriously. If you can’t be effusive about someone who last raced about forty years ago, I don’t think we have that much to talk about.
Fortunately for you, I have studied him at some length and will be happy to lecture you endlessly about the golden age of cycling.
I resent that you think, by being very serious about cycling, that I somehow do not have fun. I have exactly the right amount of fun. Two days ago, I did intervals specifically engineered to increase my capacity for fun: eight repetitions of thirty seconds of fun at my absolute limit, followed by two minutes of recovery.
I can show you the the data from the event, if you’d like. I think you’ll find that I am 2% more fun than I was this week last year. That’s significant progress.
Besides, I do cyclocross. Cyclocross is fun. Last Sunday I raced a cyclocross event I peaked for. I wore a skinsuit for maximum aerodynamics, heckled other people within acceptable limits, and lectured all around me about how cyclocross is better in Belgium.
And then I drank a beer. Beer is fun.
As long as it’s a serious beer.
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