One Down.

03.7.2006 | 7:00 pm

Yesterday I accepted a new job, which means I’ll be leaving my old job. Which means I’ll be moving back to Utah.

Last night I also got a good night’s sleep — the first I’ve had in about four days. I swear, I can deal with just about any amount of stress if I’ve got a reasonable level of sleep.

And if I’ve had a good night’s sleep and a good burrito for lunch, I’m basically invincible. Increasingly fat, but invincible.


The Reasons

There are a lot of factors behind this change, but I’m just going to list the ones that are Fat Cyclist-relevant:

  • El Azteca: There is nothing in the world quite like their Chicken Chipotle burrito.
  • Tibble Fork: I missed riding it last year. I don’t want to go another year without riding that incredible, painful trail at least once a week.
  • Lone Star Taqueria: Best fish tacos I’ve ever had.
  • The Alpine Loop: The most beautiful, punishing ride you can do in 2:08 (on a really good day).
  • Mi Ranchito: Stay simple at this place: Chicken enchiladas.
  • Hog Hollow, Frank, Squaw Peak / Hope Campground, South Fork, Grove Canyon, Joy, Mud Springs, etc. Is there a better place in the world to live and ride than in Utah County, Utah? Well, maybe one could make an argument for Grand Junction, CO. Maybe there are other places. But I miss riding my home trails.
  • The Core Team: It’ll be great to ride with Dug, Brad, Rick, and Kenny again. All I’ve got to do is get Bob to come back to UT and get Rocky to move to UT and the core team will be complete. Maybe I can get Nick to move to UT too.
  • Moab: It’s a three hour drive away.
  • Gooseberry: Really, no one state has any business having this much great mountain biking, but there you go.
  • Botched: OK, I’ll be honest. This is the real reason I’m coming back. I want to ride with Botched.

One to Go.

So now we get to start selling the house, looking for a house, and convincing the kids how much fun it will be to leave all their friends and one of the most beautiful neighborhoods in the world.

And then there’s one other thing — maybe — which I’ll find more about sometime soon.


Tomorrow I Will Be Funny.

No, really. I will. I’ll be hilarious.


  1. Comment by Tyler | 03.7.2006 | 7:11 pm

    And here I’d just recovered from my incident-with-a-motor vehicle, got a new road bike together, and was all ready-to-go.
    You were just afraid of my 138 pounds up hills.  I’m sure of it.
    Congrats on the job, fatty.

  2. Comment by Unknown | 03.7.2006 | 7:20 pm

    I figured it was work related. Now you’ve made me hungry and I too want to relocate to Utah.

  3. Comment by Andrew | 03.7.2006 | 7:43 pm

    Dear Corpulent Crusader,
    Thanks for scaring the crap out of us. It makes me want to strap on some spuds and kick your rotund little rump for making it sound like you just got diagnosed with Lou Gehrigs disease or something.
    Unless part II’s really serous, in which case you’ll be in our prayers.

  4. Comment by Jsun | 03.7.2006 | 7:45 pm

    Coming Home, that was a good movie, a little intense at times, but good- same could be said for your move – a little intense at times, but still good,   have fun with it
    I wanted to remind you to ride those trails by your house as much as possible and anywhere else up there, take in the green lusciousness, remember deeply,  you going back to the brown and that’ll get you through the dry times

  5. Comment by Unknown | 03.7.2006 | 7:56 pm

    you forgot to list a very important reason for coming back to Utah…you will now only be a quick 3.5 hours from your favorite oldest sister, her kids that dig your kids ,and the Rockhead that wants to go out and play with you!
    We are glad you are on the move!

  6. Comment by Unknown | 03.7.2006 | 8:03 pm

    Ah to see the look on the face of the webmaster at The Burton Group when he tries to figure out why so many refering hits are coming from a "fatcyclist" website.

  7. Comment by BIg Mike In Oz | 03.7.2006 | 8:17 pm

    Let’s homogenise this entry a little.  I think 5 words should cover it – "Pining for the old country".

  8. Comment by Unknown | 03.7.2006 | 8:46 pm

    Congratulations on the job and on getting to go home again!  I hope the new job won’t interfere with your blogging. 

  9. Comment by Unknown | 03.7.2006 | 8:57 pm

    Well, I’m honored.  You don’t expect me to pay the closing costs on your new house or anything do you?
    In your honor, after my lunch of sweet and sour chicken with fried rice, eggrolls and soda, I went back for a chili-cheese hotdog.
    P.S. The answer to what dug should have posted regarding yesterday’s blog was "This is the best thing you’ve ever written."

  10. Comment by jim | 03.7.2006 | 9:02 pm

    I would eventually like to hear the story of how this happened.  Were you looking to move home and therefor searching jobs in that area?  Were there rumors of layoffs and you beat them to the punch?  I guess you a sparing details since some of your readers likely work with you.  I suppose I can deal with the suspense.

  11. Comment by Tom Stormcrowe | 03.7.2006 | 9:46 pm

    Congrats, Elden! Sounds like you are making the escape from Billgatus’ clutches!(Kidding!) While I like Washington State myself, if I had to choose between Wa and Utah, I think I’d choose Utah!

  12. Comment by rich | 03.7.2006 | 9:48 pm

    Great news that you are coming back to UT. Especially because your son is the only person I can even imagine allowing my daughter to date. In 11 years when she is 21.

  13. Comment by Unknown | 03.7.2006 | 10:23 pm

    the word for the day is job, J.O.B.
    congrats and huzahs!
    looking on the home page for your new work place,
    i noticed  "identity mgmt."  i would like some of
    that, please.
    i was also wondering if the  "complimentary content"
    was anything like luxury body? could this be putting
    you one step closer to the nirvana assos promises?
    hope today is as peachy as yesterday.

  14. Comment by craig | 03.7.2006 | 11:20 pm

    good on ya.
    Heres hoping you are getting paid much, much more to work much, much less

  15. Comment by erein | 03.8.2006 | 4:38 am

    oh! I want to ride with Botched too. Wait. Who’s Botched? Congrats on the new job. And hopefully the other news will be happy too. :)

  16. Comment by Gustavo | 03.8.2006 | 5:23 am

    so are you selling your track bike then ? I don’t think they have tracks in the backwaters of Utah :)

  17. Comment by Justin | 03.8.2006 | 6:19 am

    I lurk on your site, kinda stalkerish ay? Ok, that’s kinda freaky sorry. I live in UT, my girl is from American Fork, cycling is my life, hence you are obligated to show me all of these freaking trails you talk about because I know not of them and I’m sick of the BST…..

  18. Comment by Bryn | 03.8.2006 | 11:12 am

        At least your not as stressed out now! Sounds like
    your going to have heaps of encouaragement and support for the move,
    always good! Good luck Fatty, hope it all works out well! If im ever in
    Utah, which i most probably never will be, i’ll have to check out some
    of those trails, they sound awesome!

  19. Comment by Tim D | 03.8.2006 | 2:23 pm

    Can I come to Utah too, pleeeeeeaaaaaassssssseeeeee?

  20. Comment by Jim | 03.8.2006 | 3:04 pm

    So now it adds up.  You’ve been posting stories of the old trails with very few stories of great rides in Seattle.  At least you are moving for the noble reason of finding better biking.  I still think the roadie scene in Seattle is among the best anywhere.  Are you still doing the Creampuff?
    I’m in the same boat trying to move to a more scenic locale.  I’m open to anywhere west of Nebraska, but my wife has crossed off Utah because she believes as an atheist democrat that she will not find much in common there.  Is she correct or is there something I can offer as proof to the contrary?  Also, she does not want to go from the frying pan to the fire (from the bible belt into the bible skivies)  I tend to think where there are mountains and bikes, you can find a little peace. love, and common sense.
    Good luck.

  21. Comment by Unknown | 03.8.2006 | 3:27 pm

    Utah is actually less socially conservative than the bible belt.  There are no anti-abortion-yer going to hell-Jesus saves signs here.  Utah is more politically conservative than the bible belt.  This is THE stronghold of Republicanism.  So it depends on if your wife likes to get riled up about (supposedly) church dominated republican politics.  If so, go to colorado.  If she is only worried about being asked if she’s a member of the church while waiting for the elevator, then Utah ‘is the place’ because that type of thing happens MUCH less here than in Nebraska/Missouri/Arkansas/Georgia etc.

  22. Comment by Robert | 03.8.2006 | 3:51 pm

    These are ill tidings indeed!

  23. Comment by Zed | 03.8.2006 | 4:49 pm

    I still think Washington’s prettier. But good for you for making the move. Maybe your niece has a new boyfriend who you can coax into following you up the trail and puking. Just an idea.

  24. Comment by Unknown | 03.8.2006 | 5:39 pm

    So, does this mean you’re going to get off MSN? The whole ‘you have to sign in to comment’ thing is a pain, and half the time it doesn’t work.

  25. Comment by Unknown | 03.8.2006 | 6:20 pm

    da ute, you can’t live in utah valley and have cycling be your life and not know about the trails in american fork canyon. it’s not possible. the bst is the penguin sitting on the tip of the iceberg.
    go here:
    nice guys, if a bit cheesy, and detailed maps of every significant trail in utah.

  26. Comment by Tim D | 03.8.2006 | 8:38 pm

    Well, your Wednesday post was the epitome of snot blasting, coffee down the nose, hilarity.  The way you juxtaposed the move back to conservative Utah with the whole gay/bondage coming out thing was inspirational.  Who would have thought that all those crashes were deliberate masochistic attempts to get your fellow riders to love you in more than a ‘like a brother’ way.
    Tim D

  27. Comment by barry1021 | 03.8.2006 | 8:40 pm

    Question to FC: Are your reasons for the move all bike related (I consider food to be bike related) because this is a biking blog and you did not want to put the other important reasons like the wife prefers it, better schools etc, or is your life truly ALL ABOUT YOU??
    If its the former, that’s understandable, and if its the latter, I am just jealous.

  28. Comment by Zed | 03.8.2006 | 9:18 pm

    Bummer. TimD’s blog isn’t working, so you can’t leave suggestive comments over there. That’s too bad. I really like the alliteration of ‘Brokeback Brit’.

  29. Comment by Rick | 03.10.2006 | 12:58 am

    Fatty, congratulations! Burton is lucky to have you. It will be nice to ride together again. Speaking of riding…you’ve been gone a long time. There have been a few changes. Specifically, American Fork Canyon has been officially closed until 2010. Prop 52 passed, which means Highway 167 is a go. This will significantly reduce commute times to and from Denver. The architects are drawing up the plans now and have committed to keep trail alterations to a minimum. I saw an artist’s rendering of the plan on the news. I noticed that the “Fork” was missing and the crux move had a statue on it. It appeared to be Lavelle Edwards, who is one of the sponsors of the project. This obviously affects the entire Tibble Fork trail system, including Mud and Joy, and closes down the entire Alpine Loop. We’re all sick over this. Of course, you probably already knew this—it’s been all over the news!
    Further North in Alpine, a gentleman named West secured the property surrounding Hog Hollow. We thought that this would finally put an end to the long and bitter dispute between Draper, Highland, and Lehi and various property owners who claim they own access. We were shocked to read that a new subdivision in Alpine has been approved. The new subdivision is called Dug’s Hollow and if I’m not mistaken, it sits smack in the middle of Hog Hollow. I’ll recheck the plat map on that and get back to you.
    Over in Provo Canyon, severe weather has touched off a series of substantial mass soil movements. The earth slid from the landmark Pile of Rocks, which is just after The Champ Switchback, clear across the highway and onto the south side of the canyon, which is where Squaw Peak and Hope Campground used to be. I suppose they are still there, they’re just buried under an incredible layer of mud and rubble. At this point, we can only hope to see Hope again. Emergency geologists still have been unable to locate Frank.
    In Grove Canyon, after several Bigfoot sightings, city officials closed trail access claiming that Grove is too dangerous. They have committed to reopening trail access after Bigfoot is captured and questioned. I wonder what they plan to ask Bigfoot. Lieutenant Smith: Hey Bigfoot, what are you doing up there? Bigfoot: Eeerrrggg!
    Anyway, I can fill you in on the rest of the trail changes when you get out here. I already set a lunch appointment for us at the Red Barn, which used to be El Azteca…sorry.

  30. Comment by Unknown | 03.13.2006 | 10:59 pm

    Yup, they need you! (read the following).Good luck. Sorry about all the rain.
    Burton Group enables smarter IT architecture and infrastructure decisions that yield actionable results.Burton
    Group’s research and advisory services enable global enterprises to
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  31. Comment by Alex | 03.19.2006 | 12:35 am

    Hey Ed,
    Congrats on the news! Enjoyed working with you, as brief as it was. Did anyone break my pull up record?
    Will follow you via blog.

  32. Comment by Roberto | 03.22.2006 | 2:37 pm

    For a sec I thought you were moving to the Burton group who make these famous snowboards I slit through the snow in Austria last week. But it’s IT again. Snowboarding is much more trendy/nifty/snazzy than IT! Much more fun too. You don’t know what you are missing! And you really could write a complete new blog about snowboarding.
    No really: congratulations! (but don’t forget to board in the winter! ;-)


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