Important Note to the Banjo Brothers’ Big Bad Bulky Biker Bodyfat Competitors (All 60+[!!!] of you): This weekend is when you do your first TT: a three-mile all-out ride against time. If you haven’t already done so, by Wednesday next week, you must post your time. Since this first TT–along with your weight–is one of the absolute must-have measurements for this challenge, I will count your bet as null and void if you don’t post a time (unless we’ve come up with other arrangements, as is the case with a few contestants). If you simply cannot do a TT this weekend, post a reason and a date you will do the TT, and I will not cross you off the bet. Strangely, I may be one of those people, seeing as my chosen TT course has received about a foot of snow in the last twelve hours.
1. I Will Be Freakishly Light and Fast
Hey, guess what. By opening myself up to betting a $70 jersey against practically anyone who wanted, I magically find myself up against a $4000-or-so wager.
This has done wonders for my diet. Anytime I find myself staring into the pantry now, in the mode for an Improvisational Grazing Session (IGS), I start seeing price tags on food. I simply cannot afford to not hit 100% (or better) of my diet goal.
More importantly, though, I’ve asked Robert Lofgran to coach me in my training. He’s given me a day-by-day training program that’s got me putting an excellent base into my legs right now, and — for the first time ever — focusing on some of the technique basics that I seem to have managed to neglect my entire cycling career. For example, I’m finally learning to spin a 100rpm+ cadence when necessary.
It helps that he’s a really great guy and is customizing my program for the events I want to focus on, too. Good price, too.
Check out his site, especially if you’re considering getting a cycling coach for yourself. “Friends of Fatty” get a discount, so check out the ad on my site.
2. I Will Finish the Leadville 100 in Under Nine Hours
Rick Sunderlage (not his real name) has never done the Leadville 100 before, but he’s signing up to race it this year, and he’s as excited as I remember being the first time I signed up. As in, he can’t think of anything else.
The enthusiasm has rubbed off on me.
We’ve been talking, and he’s got me thinking that maybe — just maybe — if I train with a strong guy like him, and we get so we’re good at riding together, and we push each other, and we both have a good day, maybe then we could break that nine hour mark.
Last year, I did this race on The Weapon of Choice — my highly modified, tricked-out Fisher Paragon, set up fully rigid. I think this was a good bike, but I wasn’t ready for it. This year, I will have a full season of riding fully rigid, and I’m already much, much better descending fully rigid than I used to be. I think, for the first time ever, my descending won’t be the weak link in my racing.
I’ve been close to beating the nine hour mark before. If I train better, weigh a little less, descend faster, and have a strong riding partner to work with, why not? Hey, I’ll be 41 — just entering the prime endurance racing years.
3. I Will Do the RAWROD on a Rigid Singlespeed, Unsupported
Kenny’s annual Ride Around White Rim in One Day (RAWROD) event has become huge. Last year, close to 50 people (or was it more) showed up to do this cool fully-supported one-day MTB century. It was awesome.
This year, I understand that Kenny’s going to have two versions of the RAWROD: the big supported version, and a much smaller, totally unsupported version where you don’t even get to ride if you’re not on a singlespeed.
I’d like to do both, but if I have to choose, I’ll definitely take the singlespeed version.
4. I Will Do the Local Weekly Races
The prizes for local races aren’t worth anything. The bragging rights aren’t worth anything. But I still get a knot in my stomach when I line up, and I still work myself over like I’m trying to win the world championship.
5. I Will Finish the Brian Head Epic 100 in Under Nine Hours
This is an exquisite course that is — in some ways — even harder than the Leadville 100. This will be the race where I prove that I have turned myself into a fast rider.
6. I Will Have a Very Cool “Fat Cyclist” Jersey Designed and Produced
And, if I don’t meet my goals, I’ll wind up giving about 60 of them away.
Also, sometime soon I hope to have a major announcement or two to make about this jersey. I think you’re going to want one. I think it may be your favorite jersey.
7. I Will Win a Lot of Wacky Stuff from People Who Lose the B7 Challenge to Me
Like a salmon, and some cookies, and a lot of cheese. Everyone wants to give me food. Cut it out. You’re not making this easy.
OK, your turn. What are you going to do this year?