Wherein I Mix Soylent White With Peanut Butter

02.15.2007 | 11:54 am

I’ve mentioned my sister Kellene before. She’s the one who had a mountain bike wreck so bad I get queasy just thinking about it.

Well, a couple of days ago, she called up with an interesting suggestion.

“You know how you like peanut butter so much?” she said.

Yeah, I remember. I dream about it nightly.

“Well, you know I like it, too.” And in fact, that’s an understatement. Kellene and I have very similar tastes. She, however, doesn’t seem to ever put on weight. Which is not very endearing or empathetic of her.

Anyway, she continued. “I just found a way for you to be able to eat peanut butter while you’re dieting.”

OK, now she had my attention. “Seriously? How?”

“You mix it with tofu!”

OK, now she had lost my attention. But she kept talking anyway. “I know it sounds weird to mix tofu with peanut butter, but it actually works great!”

“No,” I said, “it’s weird to mix tofu with anything. Tofu is nothing but Soylent White. You know what that’s made out of?”

“Just try this,” she said. “You’ll thank me when you do.”

So she told me the recipe, which I’m also posting in Fatty’s Food Forum:

Peanut Butter-Soylent White -Tofu Spread

  • 1/2 c. peanut butter
  • 1 c. soft tofu
  • 1 Tbsp honey

Blend everything. Serve on bread in the same amounts you would normally serve regular peanut butter. Refrigerate unused portion for later use.

The idea behind this, of course, is by cutting 1 part peanut butter with 2 parts tofu, you’re getting all the protein you normally would with peanut butter, but with a third the fat and a lot fewer calories.

I Am Astounded
Here’s the thing: Kellene was right. Tofu has no flavor of its own, and peanut butter is a strong enough flavor that when you cut it with tofu, it still tastes just like peanut butter. The texture isn’t peanut-buttery anymore, but this still tastes good enough that I’m adding it to Fatty’s Frequent Foods list.

So, thanks Kellene.

I Do Not Expect You To Try This At Home
If anyone but a trusted relative had told me to mix peanut butter with tofu, I would not have done it. So I don’t really expect you to try this out.

But if you do, you’ll thank me later.

PS: Today’s weight: 165.2

PPS: I promise, I am not turning this into a recipe/food blog. But this whole “lose weight without doing a diet I’ll never be able to stick to long-term” thing is what’s on my mind right now, so that’s what winds up on the blog.

PPPS: If you’ve got other tricks / recipes tricking yourself into eating healthy, why don’t you post them in the food section of Fatty’s Forum?

36 Comments

  1. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 02.15.2007 | 12:19 pm

    I swore tomyself that I wasn’t going to say it, but since I’m the first commenter:

    IT’S PEOPLE!

    Sorry, but I just felt obligated.

  2. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 02.15.2007 | 12:29 pm

    Am I just crazy, or wasn’t there briefly another post or this post titled differently an hour ago?

  3. Comment by Mike | 02.15.2007 | 12:56 pm

    Gives me an idea for Vegemite (I come from a land down under!)

  4. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 02.15.2007 | 12:58 pm

    BE- I had to go look up what on earth you were talking about. I’ve never heard of that movie, it sounds pretty geeky.

  5. Comment by Jason | 02.15.2007 | 1:11 pm

    Cool recipe, I’m always looking for some thing new like that. Thanks!
    JM

  6. Comment by barry1021 | 02.15.2007 | 1:23 pm

    FC

    It’s even better if you cut one inch thick slices of home made bread for the sandwich.

    Here’s an alternative recipe to do the same for ice cream

    Mix: One quart Ben & Jerry’s with 1/2 tsp of tofu. Consume freely.

    Signed

    14 lbs in 40 Days Makes Me Crazy.

  7. Comment by barry1021 | 02.15.2007 | 1:28 pm

    Besides i don’t see how the tofu thing would work for me. My Automatic Calorie Adjuster (ACA) is just too strong. If for example, the above concoction had 1/3 the fat and 1/2 the calories, my ACA kicks in through this formula

    1/(1/3 x 1/2)

    and I automatically consume precisely six times the normal helping. Works every time.

    b21

  8. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 02.15.2007 | 2:07 pm

    Mrs. Coach–let me point out that it was fatty that brought up Soylent Green, not me. Even though I know the plot of each of the 80 original Star Trek episodes, and sometimes I get confused as to whether Yoda is real, when it comes to geek-hood, fatty is far past me. With that disclaimer in mind, I thought everyone had heard of Soylent Green. It’s an American movie classic. There are those that think everything about the move, from the plot to the music to the acting was absolutely great. Personally, I think it’s great in that “crazy, over-acted, funny” sort of way. Everyone who’s ever seen it has burned into their minds Charlton Heston freaking out and yelling “IT’S PEOPLE!”

  9. Comment by JB | 02.15.2007 | 2:17 pm

    You know, whenever there is a Soylent Green reference anywhere in your life (does that happen often??) you must remember the proof of the hypothesis of what Soylent green really was, was Edward G. Robinson and the final performance of his great career. If that does not make this the ultimate “food blog” than what does?
    Jim

  10. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 02.15.2007 | 3:02 pm

    “I thought everyone had heard of Soylent Green. It’s an American movie classic.”

    Did you have to be born before the ’80’s? Cause that has never come up in any of my conversations regarding classic american films.

  11. Comment by fatty | 02.15.2007 | 3:33 pm

    i was in high school during the 80’s.

    i feel so old.

  12. Comment by bikemike | 02.15.2007 | 4:00 pm

    1/2 cup peanut butter to 1 lb. ribeye steak…oh wait, nevermind.

  13. Comment by JB | 02.15.2007 | 4:02 pm

    High school in the seventies……..my kids would not know who Charlston Heston is much less Edward G. Robinson. I do my EGR impression and they look at me like I truly have gone round the bend…….

  14. Comment by Tim Kimrey | 02.15.2007 | 4:38 pm

    Are you trying to kill us? You post this on the same day that http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/4557399.html this comes out?

    CDC is tracking peanut butter contamination!

    Tofu is great by itself, you don’t need to add your deadly peter pan to it.

  15. Comment by Tim Kimrey | 02.15.2007 | 4:39 pm

    Then again maybe your Tofu is the contaminant that they are looking for…

  16. Comment by Mark W | 02.15.2007 | 5:12 pm

    For foreigner readers there is a film about Soylent Green. It took me a while to “get it”.

    Mark W who didn’t grow up in North America.

  17. Comment by JET(not a nickname) | 02.15.2007 | 5:25 pm

    Tofu is terrible no matter what you mix with it. It should be avoided at all cost. Just eat the PB plain and then bike a few extra miles. Tofu…ick.

  18. Comment by Jose | 02.15.2007 | 6:12 pm

    Fatty I was in college in the 80’s and we are the same age, are you sure you were in high School?

    I make a great Cesar Salad, simply the best. But it normally has eggs and a lot of oil, so I tried using plain yogurt and tofu instead. The result was a yogurt/tofu based Ceasar that tastes very good.

    1. Garlic (crushed) as much as you like.
    2. Mustard (dijon or any one) two or three tbsp.
    3. 4 or 5 anchovie filets. Not too many because they have a strong taste.
    4. Salt or use some of the oil from the anchovies.
    4.Blend everything well in a blender.
    5. Put one plain yogurt and some tofu.
    6 Blend again very well until it gets thick.
    8. Romaine lettuce and others.
    9 Parmesan cheese if you like it, i love it.
    Uhmmm! Enjoy.

  19. Comment by Jose | 02.15.2007 | 6:13 pm

    I forgot the croutons.

  20. Comment by fatty | 02.15.2007 | 6:17 pm

    joe – i didn’t say i was in high school for ALL of the 80’s. (class of ‘84, fwiw).

  21. Comment by MBonkers | 02.15.2007 | 6:24 pm

    Reading this post I thought to myself for no particular reason “mmmmm… m & m’s”
    Then I continued reading, “m & m’s and tofu in a blender…”

    Now I have no appetite.

  22. Comment by TimK | 02.15.2007 | 8:03 pm

    Wonder if I can embed a youtuber here in the comments.

  23. Comment by TimK | 02.15.2007 | 8:04 pm

    guess not
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c25tTzGJmcs

  24. Comment by KatieA | 02.15.2007 | 8:54 pm

    Mike – Put down the Vegemite and step away from the tofu. Don’t make me hunt you down.

    Botched – Never heard of Soylent Green either (except in various pop-culture references where people proceed to yell out “it’s people”.) I take it I’m too much of a young, spritely thing to have heard of it.

    Fatty – I was two years old at the start of the 80s. Get thee to a walking frame.

    Although, I will admit that due to parental insistence, I am fully aware of who Charlton Heston is, I can sing along with most songs from the 1960s onward and a lot of my favourite movies are “oldies” – much to my friend’s joy whenever we go to a trivia night.

    Still don’t know what the hell Soylent Green is, and unless it’s available for download off the internet, I shall have to remain in ignorance.

  25. Comment by Born4Lycra | 02.15.2007 | 9:18 pm

    KatieA Soylent Green was the basic foodstuff for everyone in society. They had no idea it was made from people until Charlton H told them.
    If Fatty has to go into a walking frame what do those of us who went to high school in the 70’s (class of 76) and earlier get consigned too.
    Mike I’m interested in the idea for vegemite surely you don’t intend to eat it? see Jet’s comments re: tofu and substitute vegemite.

  26. Comment by Weean | 02.15.2007 | 11:49 pm

    Charlton Heston- he’s they guy with all the rifles, right? Oh, and God.

    When I first saw todays post I thought Fatty was mixing solvents with his peanut butter. I suspect that would help with the weight loss, but might just cost too much in terms of power loss.

    And if you’re cutting your PB with tofu, you could think of it as a solvent (hey, I’m a physicist, not a chemist). I’m unconvinced by this idea, I rank it alongside low fat butter and reduced sugar sugar. But then I don’t have ~$4k in bets riding on my weight loss. Woo, go tofu!

  27. Comment by Boz | 02.16.2007 | 6:46 am

    Mrs.Coach- Classics are in the eye of the beholder, and your circle of friends and influences. GWTW is a classisc to some, Casablanca, or The Godfather(s), Blade Runner, or maybe Animal House to others. It’s all influence and perspective. Soylent Green is kinda a “junk movie ” classic, like the Texas Chain Saw Massacre and it’s ilk. Still alot of fun to watch.

  28. Comment by SpikeBlue | 02.16.2007 | 6:51 am

    Tim Kimrey – I think you are on to something. Perhaps the salmonella poisoning is what helped Fatty lose 14 lbs in 40 days. The tofu idea is just his way to see how many people will try something he suggests – no matter how disgusting it sounds.

  29. Comment by KatieA | 02.16.2007 | 12:43 pm

    Born4Lycra – I suggest people who finish high school before I was born should be comfortably settled in a nursing home.

    But a nice one, not one of the ones you see on A Current Affair or 60 minutes.

  30. Comment by Sprocketboy | 02.16.2007 | 12:49 pm

    Would the peanut butter texture disappear if you use crunchy PB? I need to know. As a vegetarian I have wrestled with tofu over the years and made my peace with it. In fact, I always liked tofu if other people–Chinese, Japanese, Indonesian–cooked it. I have a great recipe for stir-fired tofu with a chili-peanut sauce, served over soba noodles. Of course, I ate this long ago, before I made this stupid bet.

    “Soylent Green” was basically an updating of Jonathon Swift’s suggestion in “A Modest Proposal” where you could solve the problems of overpopulation by poor people and mass starvation at the same time. We used to joke about going to the university cafetaria for a big dish of Soylent Green. But that was in the early Eddy Merckx era…

  31. Comment by Boz | 02.16.2007 | 1:48 pm

    So, Bob going to post another body function topic over at Ran Rev ? Where’s Al’s comment, I can’t wait for his take on all this. That goes for you, too, Barry.

  32. Comment by Sara Wilson | 04.4.2007 | 11:57 pm

    Excuse, and what you think concerning forthcoming elections?

  33. Comment by emma | 04.9.2007 | 1:46 am

    cool blog!

  34. Comment by Timoty | 04.15.2007 | 10:13 pm

    cool blog!

  35. Comment by Tima | 04.17.2007 | 11:08 pm

    nice photos of this blog

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