Lately, A lot of people have been asking me how I’m doing. The honest answer is, I’ve never been worse. My wife doesn’t react well to narcotics (which we found out after getting the 100-capsule bottle of Lortab), so she has to choose between being nauseated and hardly being able to move — her hip, ribs, and shoulder hurt like hell.
I understand that in another week she’ll be even more drained and sore, thanks to the radiation. After which we get to start the chemo.
Question to others who have had a loved one go through chemo: do you find yourself wishing you could try chemo just once, so you could understand what they’re going through?
I find myself buying all kinds of presents for the kids, stuff way out of the range of what I should be spending, because I’m hoping to distract them. But my eleven-year-old (the one who notices everything that ever happens)comes up to our bedroom, crying, late at night, telling us he can’t go through this again.
Stuff shouldn’t suck this much.
The bright spot in all this, though, is the massive outpouring of kindness that’s come our way. People who I’ve always thought of as great friends have turned out to be extraordinary friends. Hundreds of you have commented in my blog. Dozens of you have privately emailed me, offering us emotional and material support (I’m sorry I have not yet replied to a lot of you; for what it’s worth, I’m also leaving a lot of work email unanswered).
The Twin Six guys have contacted me, too. They had an idea. “What if we did a pink version of the Fat Cyclist jersey,” they asked, “to show support for your wife and raise some money to fight breast cancer?” They went on to explain that they wouldn’t make a dime with this — all profit would go to whatever cause(s) I see fit.
Here’s what the jersey would look like:
I asked Susan what she thought. She was touched and a little embarassed. So here’s what I’m thinking. $5 from each jersey would go to Susan to buy jewelry supplies, which Susan says she will use to make cool stuff to give to Fat Cyclist readers. The balance will go to the best breast cancer research foundation I can find (I’ll get BotchedExperiment to help me figure that out).
Truth be known, though, my head isn’t on exactly straight right now. I have no idea whether this is a great idea or not. So I’m going to put it up for a vote. Let me know if this is something you’d like to do.
PS: Weather providing, tomorrow I plan to do a solo road century: up and over Suncrest as many times as necessary to go 100 miles. Extremely demanding, completely mindless. Sounds good to me.