The Fat Cyclist Jerseys Are Here!

05.23.2007 | 1:00 pm

Fed Ex just left nineteen boxes full of jerseys at my house. They (the jerseys, not the boxes) are beautiful. So of course I had to try one on and get some photos.

Here’s front:

And here’s back:

And here’s me mugging it up (and showing off what an awesome view I have from my backyard).

Twin Six did an awesome job, no?

With the jerseys in, I expect some of you have some questions. I’ll try to answer the ones I can anticipate right now.

Q. How soon will you be shipping them?
A. I’m going to start tonight and hope to have shipped all of them by Tuesday (Monday’s a holiday).

Q. I’ve got a race / event this weekend and I’d like to wear my new jersey. Can you be sure mine is one of the first you ship?
A. Sure, I’ll try, but I can’t guarantee it’ll get to you in time for your race. If you email me with the reason yours should be one of the first few I ship out and promise you’ll email a pic of you wearing the jersey at your race / event, I’ll do my best to bump you up.

Q. What size are you wearing in that photo?
A. Medium. Yeah, I’m wearing Medium now. Check me out.

Q. So what’s with the shaved head?
A. Well, the little peninsula of hair I had up top was looking thinner and thinner. I figured it was time to either shave it or do a combover. I think I made the right call. Plus, I want to be just like Kenny when I grow up.

Q. I really want one in XL or XXL or XXXL. Do you have any?
A. I don’t, but Twin Six will have a few for sale once I send them their portion of the jerseys. I’ll of course post on my blog when they put those up for sale on their site. I’d recommend moving fast, because a lot more people have asked for that size of jersey than they’ll have available. If you don’t manage to scoop up one of those, you should be able to score one of the special pink “Fighting for Susan” edition jerseys, which I’ll have more info on soonish.

Q. Am I one of the people who gets a free box of Matisse and Jack’s Bake-at-Home Energy Bars?
A. If you were one of the people who bought a jersey the first day they were available and you live in the U.S., yes. Otherwise, no.

Q. Am I one of the people who gets a free Banjo Brothers Pocket Messenger Bag?
A. If you pre-ordered a jersey, yes. All 300 of you.

Q. I’m local. Can I just come pick mine up?
A. That would be awesome. If you don’t know my home address, email me and I’ll let you know.

OK, I’m off to the Post Office to figure out how to ship these without breaking the bank.

PS: I’ll post part III of the KTR race late tonight or tomorrow morning. Not being coy, I just haven’t written it yet.


  1. Comment by Bob | 05.23.2007 | 1:24 pm

    I can’t believe you shaved your head. Can’t tell whether I like it. You look like Beezlebub.

  2. Comment by bradk | 05.23.2007 | 1:33 pm

    i think your triceps are bigger than mine. what bob said. evil. ventriliquist evil with that goatee

  3. Comment by Sean | 05.23.2007 | 1:36 pm

    Could you please ship mine last? The waiting is the hardest part and I don’t ever want to be accused of coasting through life.

  4. Comment by dug | 05.23.2007 | 1:41 pm

    so are you channelling Spock with that eyebrow thing? stop it.

  5. Comment by LMouse | 05.23.2007 | 1:45 pm

    Correction: The No-Longer-Fat Cyclist Jerseys are Here! You’re positively svelte!

  6. Comment by MTB W | 05.23.2007 | 1:58 pm

    What’s your neighbor growing in their window in the first pic? Do they have glowing/flourescent lights on at all hours? It’s like a jungle in there but I don’t think you want to know what they’r growing.

    With the shaved head and goatee (and the not-so-fat look), you and Kenny look waaaay too much alike. Very scary!

  7. Comment by Mike | 05.23.2007 | 2:03 pm

    The jersey looks great. You will need to change the name of your blog, fat cyclist is definitely not a fitting description any more. Well done !

  8. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 05.23.2007 | 2:06 pm

    Oohhh, me so horny.

    Now look who’s taking testosterone.

    Did you dislocate your shoulder when you flexed?

    What did you do with the REAL fat cyclist?

    Twin Six rocks. These are really nice jerseys.

    There should have been a Reeses reference on them.

  9. Comment by Jill | 05.23.2007 | 2:12 pm

    Yippee! Just in time for summer.

  10. Comment by Boz | 05.23.2007 | 2:39 pm

    I think what’s growing in that window is a “reflection”. Nice jersey, btw.

  11. Comment by susie b | 05.23.2007 | 2:46 pm

    Where’s the FAT cyclist? Hmmmmm?

    Loooooo-keen Gooooood!

    But really, what did you do with the REAL Fatty? Left him back at KTR?

  12. Comment by susie b | 05.23.2007 | 2:47 pm

    Where’s the FAT cyclist? Hmmmmm?

    Loooooo-keen Gooooood!

    But really, what did you do with the REAL Fatty? Left him back at KTR?

  13. Comment by monkeywebb | 05.23.2007 | 2:50 pm

    The “201″ on the right sleeve has become down right comical on your petite frame. I’m going to have to start making up various alternative meanings behind it. Some possibilities:
    -It’s Fatty’s area code.
    -It’s Fatty’s max heart rate (ironically only reached when presented with a plate full of cookies, not when on a bike).
    -The number of readers Fatty had before switching to his own domain name.
    -Fatty’s goal weight using the Ancient Roman Pondus, the preferred unit of mass for competitive cyclists.
    -Fatty’s goal height in centimeters (won’t work with people capable of thinking).
    -The distance of Fatty’s next preposterously difficult mtn bike ride (this one is actually the most realistic).

    The jerseys look fantastic, as does your best Popeye impression.

  14. Comment by TimK | 05.23.2007 | 2:55 pm

    I hope that’s not MY jersey you are wearing. I’m not into that whole internet purchase of soiled clothing thing.

  15. Comment by Rick S. | 05.23.2007 | 3:02 pm

    I’ll come by tonight and pick mine up and have dinner with the family. Could you throw together some of your chili and flat bread?

  16. Comment by Lins - Australia | 05.23.2007 | 3:16 pm

    Are you sure you want to lose the rest of your B7 weight or are you sucking in your gut in that photo?

    FC – I emailed TwinSix for some jersey length measurements in anticipation of ordering one of the pink jerseys and received a prompt reply but could you please clarify something for me? The front length of the size small jersey is 20.5″, medium is 21″. Is this measured from the top of the collar or the bottom of the collar?
    Much appreciated and I say again: are you sure you want to lose the rest of your B7 weight?

  17. Comment by Al Maviva | 05.23.2007 | 3:38 pm

    Spock called. He wants his eyebrow back.

    The shaved head is good. With your Pacific Northwest ties and that Mennonite soul patch, we should have no trouble infiltrating you into the Aryan Nations. You’ll need to get some tats, and learn about illicit drugs. I can’t help you with tats, but Barry 1021 or pretty much any pro roadie could help you with that, depending on whether you want performance detracting, or enhancing, respectively.

    Your neighbors’ herb farm is truly impressive. Is that to help with their glaucoma? Or are they growing it to help with your chronic joint pain? Ahem.

    I notice the octagon with the fence around it in the third photo. I knew UFC was easy, but since when is Fat Cyclist an Ultimate Fighting Championship franchisee? Hey, does this have anything to do with the road rage blog entry?

    Did I order a jersey? I think I did. I may even have paid for it. How come the “no XXL” vibe? If I paid for a jersey from you – hard to remember because I was drinking *a lot* back in January, it was very snowy here – I’m going to be bummed if I don’t get it. Yeah, sure, maybe I can fit into an XL… if I get the flesh eating bacteria and it eats half my rib cage…

  18. Comment by swtkaroline | 05.23.2007 | 4:11 pm

    Damn. You look good with a chromedome.

    And the jersey looks great too. Can’t wait to see mine, although it’s far to hot to leave the house right now. Maybe in September. Ahh, Arizona. . .

  19. Comment by LanterneRouge | 05.23.2007 | 4:18 pm

    Fatty, if you’re not sucking in your gut, I may need a small. If I order a small today or tomorrow, will it get shipped out this weekend?

  20. Comment by fatty | 05.23.2007 | 4:34 pm

    lanternerouge – if you order today or tomorrow, i’ll for sure ship out by tuesday, and will try to ship by the weekend. and while i’m sucking in my gut, i’m not sucking it in a lot.

    al – you did in fact order a jersey and i’ll be sending you one. i should clarify that i don’t have excess inventory for NEW XL, XXL, XXXL orders. any pre-orders for those sizes definitely have jerseys coming their way.

  21. Comment by bikemike | 05.23.2007 | 4:40 pm

    those of us with exceptional waist lines will wear our jerseys with pride.

    tell me there is a cooler blog in the universe with a custom cyling jersey. go ahead, i dare you.

  22. Comment by Kathy | 05.23.2007 | 4:45 pm

    You look buff! Dug, Bob and the other male detractors are obviously jealous. Some of the commenters who ordered a jersey are — dare I say it — a touch high maintenance. Hey, you’ve just got 300 orders to process. No biggie. If only everyone were as easy to please as Sean.

  23. Comment by LanterneRouge | 05.23.2007 | 5:03 pm

    Alright, the order for a small jersey is in. I won’t need it until the Horribly Hilly Hundreds on 16jun so no need to put a special rush on it. Just noticed that I’ve ordered a jersey in February, April and now in May. Each time it was a smaller size than the last. This B7 thing is working like a charm.

  24. Comment by Dave Nice | 05.23.2007 | 6:19 pm

    Coooool Maybe mine well make its first race june 1st at the 24hrs of erock!

  25. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 05.23.2007 | 6:56 pm

    The FC jersey looks fantastic.
    Cant wait to get mine, and wear it with pride over my expanding gut.

    I hope I can hold my gut in as well as you seem to be doing.
    Either that or the “fat” is a misnomer.

  26. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 05.23.2007 | 6:57 pm

    The FC jersey looks fantastic.
    Cant wait to get mine, and wear it with pride over my expanding gut.

    I hope I can hold my gut in as well as you seem to be doing.
    Either that or the “fat” is a misnomer.

  27. Comment by JET(not a nickname) | 05.23.2007 | 7:41 pm

    The jersey looks sweet. I dig the shaved head. I’ve wanted to go all natural up top but simply don’t have the guts, and I don’t think my wife would approve either. I go with the number 2 buzzed head instead. I do have the evil goatee though.

  28. Comment by JET(not a nickname) | 05.23.2007 | 7:50 pm

    LanterneRouge- I just noticed you typed that you are doing the HHH’s. I also am doing this ride. Have you done it before? This will be my first time and am just looking for what other have to say about it. And I was going to wear my kick @ss new FC jersey but I’m afraid it will be too damn hot and humid to wear black. No worries FC, I do plan on wearing it for the Team Race I do in August, which is the event I look forward to the most all summer.

  29. Comment by Born4Lycra | 05.23.2007 | 8:11 pm

    Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet – the jersy looks good too.

  30. Comment by LanterneRouge | 05.23.2007 | 9:24 pm

    JET(not a nickname), last time I did the HHH was in 2004. It was also my first time. As a flatlander from Chicago it was a real shock. I completed it, but I walked up a couple of the steeper hills. I used my road bike with a double crank and 11-25 in the rear. Big mistake. It took me more than six hours to finish. 6:13:53 to be exact and that put me in the middle of the field. This time around I’m 25 pounds lighter and plan on using the cannondale bbu with a triple crank, 44-34-22 and 12-34 cassette in the back. This is because I can’t climb worth a damn, but love the challenge. Also, I don’t want to do any walking this year.

    Most people I talked to used road bikes with double cranks and 12-27 cassettes. I’ll only do the 100K this year. If it feels good I’ll do the 200K next year. I’ll bring my camera and we’ll get some pics of us together to send to fatty and susan. Make sure you bring bug spray. The mosquitos at Blue Mound State Park are both huge and thirsty.

  31. Comment by Weean | 05.23.2007 | 10:50 pm

    Dang, that jersey looks much better ‘in the flesh’, I may have to re-think my non-purchase of the regular version- or you/Twin six can hurry up with the pinkies! Do you have many spare Mediums?

    At the rate you’re going “Fatty”, you’re going to be making Rasmussen look like Jabba come the end of the B7.

  32. Comment by gewwez | 05.23.2007 | 11:53 pm

    any other kenny clones around?

  33. Comment by buckythedonkey | 05.24.2007 | 12:02 am

    If you think that jersey looks good on Fatty, wait until you see one stretch-moulded onto a proper Clydesdale.

    Oh, and I’d like to repeat my request for the addition of a new Fatty forum so that Fat Cyclists can post pictures of FC jerseys from around the globe.

    Mate, it’s a work of art!

  34. Comment by Neil Brennen | 05.24.2007 | 1:35 am

    It’s a wonderful jersey. Unfortunately, I didn’t lose as much weight as I had hoped by now. I’m probably going to be one of the posters who needs lipo just to fit into it.

  35. Comment by Saso | 05.24.2007 | 3:12 am

    Jersey looks great. Sadly, I dont see any fat cyclist on the pictures.

  36. Comment by DOM | 05.24.2007 | 3:15 am

    Climbs like a goat, looks like a pirate. Pantani Lives!!!!

  37. Comment by LanterneRouge | 05.24.2007 | 4:25 am

    ¡El Chibo!

  38. Comment by Clydesteve | 05.24.2007 | 4:57 am

    The jersey, looks spalmtastic! As it should. Arrrr!, matey – Why’d ya hire a skinny pirate ta model it?

    You can hold off shipping mine for a bit, although the the swag should actually entitle me to early shipping, esp. if you used it on the KTR. My FC jersey innagurral event is June 9th. The Strawberry Century. Strawberry Shortcake at the end og the ride. mmmmmmm! strawberry!


  39. Comment by Smeghead | 05.24.2007 | 5:04 am

    How many from Sweden ordered jerseys? Am I the only one?

  40. Comment by Brie | 05.24.2007 | 5:19 am

    The jersey looks very good – can’t wait to wear mine with pride on many a ride Down Under….guess I’ll be feeling pretty authentic until I come across Big Mike in Oz on the tredly…pictures will be taken and posted if your interested.

    Keep us updated about the pink version for as I will order one of those also..thoughts and prayers for you and your family

  41. Comment by dkirkavitch | 05.24.2007 | 5:42 am

    Very nice! If mine gets here by next Wednesday, I’ll proudly wear it on the GLR June 1. The black/orange scheme is perfect. Stealth by night and daytime blend into the sandstone!

  42. Comment by chtrich | 05.24.2007 | 6:51 am

    Wow – those look much nicer than in the mock up pictures. I’m thinking I might need to order one now since I’m not sure I can catch you in the B7 competition. I’ll match you in weight loss, but seriously your drop on the TT is just killing me. I hate that course more each time I ride it. Props to you.
    Can’t wait to see the Pink Lemonade jersey. I’m ordering one of those as soon as they’re available.

  43. Comment by PeteDMeat | 05.24.2007 | 7:14 am

    Well I would request that my jersey would get sent before this weekend, but alas, I’ve been roped into course marshalling the event this weekend instead of riding. Stupid Pete and his agreeability!

  44. Comment by Jen | 05.24.2007 | 8:57 am

    WTF?!?!?! Where is Fatty and what have you done with him?

    The dome of chrome becomes you. I guess “” doesn’t fit across the bottom, eh?

  45. Comment by Bici Beeyatch | 05.24.2007 | 12:01 pm

    wow, the jersey AND you are mightee impressive! lose much more weight and you’ll resemble one of those pocket climbers like piepoli. assuming you shrink a few inches in height also…

    and the jersey’s arrival gives me something to look forward to besides the total ass-whipping i foresee my brother-in-law dishing out this weekend, when my husband and i visit. (that’s on the bike i mean! if he is into bondage my sister didn’t mention it) supposedly they have these things called “hills” there, which are in short supply where i live. i’ll just remind myself how you finished KTR, and that will put my discomfort in perspective! thanks for the inspiration fatty! though as everyone else mentioned, you sure ain’t fat.

    am i the only dufus who doesn’t know what spalming is, much less spalmtastic? it certainly sounds, um, provocative. guess i’m a filthy-minded dufus.

  46. Comment by Megan | 05.24.2007 | 12:11 pm

    Bici – read this post and the related “Open Letter to Assos” and all will become clear.

  47. Comment by ricky | 05.24.2007 | 4:53 pm

    nice pix. i printed them and plan to use them.

    nice job on the jerseys. i’m gonna stop by rick s’ house to have dinner with his family, and then come over to pick up a jersey. in addition to the chili and flat bread, i’d like to order a few brats.

  48. Comment by Highwaymunky | 05.25.2007 | 12:22 am

    Very Buff! Nice job with the shirts!

  49. Comment by John Gilliland | 05.26.2007 | 6:04 pm

    I know I said I’d buy a pink jersey, but don’t remember if I committed to buying an orange one. If I did, or if you have extra mediums, can I buy one? If so, how much and how do I pay? Thx.


  50. Comment by jank | 06.1.2007 | 2:39 am

    Thanks! Mine showed up last night; looks wonderful, and I’m taking it for a spin around Newport, RI, this afternoon.

  51. Pingback by Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Cycle, Cycle Too » Look at all the people | 06.1.2007 | 2:50 am

    [...] In other, cooler news, my jersey is in. Man, is it cool. In hindsight, I should have ordered a large, but the medium is not uncomfortably tight. I will take it for a spin this afternoon. [...]

  52. Comment by jank | 06.1.2007 | 11:22 am

    Just got back – absolutely perfect jersey. Thanks.

  53. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » 2011 Fat Cyclist / Team Fatty Gear Sneak Peek (Pre-Order Next Week) | 07.9.2010 | 7:15 am

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  54. Comment by Angie | 01.27.2011 | 10:04 am

    Fat Cyclist? You are not fat!


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