I Am Much, Much, Faster Than Kenny

08.26.2007 | 8:48 pm

Friday afternoon, Kenny left me a voicemail, saying he was going to do a long ride Saturday morning. By the time Friday night rolled around, though, I could tell that a long ride just wasn’t in the cards. Knowing that Kenny always keeps his mobile phone with him and not wanting to call so late at night, I sent him a text message:

I’m out for a long ride, but am thinking of an 8am Tibble. What’s your plan?

Kenny texted back:

I’ll be in surgery.

I replied, sagely:


He texted:

I broke my hip

At this point, I figured a phone call was warranted.

The Wreck
So here’s what I learned — part from Kenny, who sounded slurry but coherent, and part from Kenny’s wife, who sounded resigned to the likelihood that this kind of thing is going to happen over and over and over.

Kenny was alone, riding “Frank to Crank” — a steep, technical climb with a steep, technical descent, which happens to be close to Kenny’s house and is one of his favorite training rides. On the downhill, his hands sweaty, he lost his grip and crashed, busting his hip (and, incidentally, cracking his helmet).

Kenny doesn’t really remember the instance or the details of how it happened or what hit first. He was riding, and then he was slamming into the ground. No real transition in between. Chances are you’ve had a similar crash of your own at some point, where you don’t have a really great explanation of what happened. Eventually you construct what you remember beforehand and what your injuries look like into a likely scenario, and you tell people about that theory as if it were an actual memory. If you tell it enough, it even starts to seem like that’s the way it happened.

I’m rambling. Back to Kenny’s story.

After his wipeout, Kenny sat / laid for ten minutes or so, the pain so bad that he couldn’t move; his hurt leg shaking uncontrollably. Then he used his bike as a crutch to get down off the mountain.

Except for the parts he rode.

Yes, for crying out loud, he actually rode part of the way down. And in fact, he had a second crash as he came down the mountain. See, with his hip so injured, he couldn’t twist his foot enough to get out of his pedals.

He didn’t call LifeFlight or an ambulance because he’s still feeling the financial sting of the bill for the ambulance trip he took from Squaw Peak a month ago. $1200 bucks. Sheesh. Instead, he called his wife when he was about a mile from home. Told her that he wasn’t sure how he’d get off his bike once he got home. Sure enough, she had to lay the bike down for him so he could step over it.

And then they were off to the hospital.

At the Hospital
At the emergency room, Kenny got to sit in a wheelchair in the emergency room for a good long time, shaking with the intensity of the pain.

By 10pm, they had taken care of Kenny, though he was still in the emergency room, drugged up and waiting to be assigned his own room in the hospital.

Saturday morning, he went into getting surgery, where they put three screws into his right his hip.

Just as a point of reference, while Kenny was in surgery, Gary — my across-the-street neighbor — and I went and rode Hog Hollow. It was such a nice day and such a perfect ride that we capped it off by riding the Sliding Rock: a natural waterslide:

Anyway, I went to the hospital after Kenny was out of surgery. I tried to get him to tell his story on video, but frankly, he was too drugged up. I did get a picture of him with his balloon, though (please note that the smiley face has been modified to have the same kind of soul patch as Kenny’s):

What’s Next
Kenny’s going to be on crutches for three weeks or more. Knowing him, he’ll be on a bike before he’s off crutches.

To tell the truth, I’m probably as bummed out about this as I can be without it happening to me. Kenny’s a great friend and riding’s an incredibly important part of his life. In fact he has — completely seriously — said that for him biking is a spiritual thing for him.

So for him to not be able to ride for a while — especially during what he and I have agreed many times is the best part of the year for riding — is a little bit heartbreaking.

That said, we have a firm commitment from Kenny that he’ll be recovered and riding for Fall Moab this year. And since I have now written this down for him, it’s an actual goal, not a wish (that’s a little Steven Covey humor for you).

Silver Lining
This of course sucks for Kenny, but I think it represents a significant opportunity for the rest of us to surpass him, for the time being, in both biking speed and endurance.

I guess we’d better enjoy it while it lasts.


  1. Comment by Nick | 08.26.2007 | 9:55 pm

    But on the upside, Kenny has access to a lot of groovy painkillers.

  2. Comment by logan | 08.26.2007 | 9:57 pm

    Wow, what luck. Get well soon and all that. Good thing he was wearing his helmet this time.

  3. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 08.26.2007 | 10:12 pm

    So Kenny keeps coming off his bike – is he as good as you actually say he is? Hope he did not wreck another FC top. On the plus side he did take advice offered on the wearing of a helmet from Team FC. Does this mean that Nat is free on the weekends?
    Get well soon AGAIN Kenny.

  4. Comment by buckythedonkey | 08.27.2007 | 12:45 am

    I amazed by the amount of punctuation you put into ypur text messages. Upper and lower case too!

    For other befuddled Brits, when Fatty wrote:

    “I’m out for a long ride, but am thinking of an 8am Tibble. What’s your plan?”

    He really meant:

    “out 4 a lng ride, thinkn of 8am tibble. u?”

  5. Comment by Tim D | 08.27.2007 | 1:39 am

    Hey Kenny, get well soon.

  6. Comment by little1 | 08.27.2007 | 2:42 am

    Kenny glad you considered the innumeorus benefits of wearing a helmet this time. Now consider the further innumerous benefits of actually staying on your bike…

    Seriously though, take care and mend up fast!

  7. Comment by paige | 08.27.2007 | 2:57 am

    Get well soon, Kenny. Glad to hear it was a DIFFERENT body part that took the brunt of the damage.

  8. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 08.27.2007 | 3:01 am

    You’ve headed this entry like you know for sure you’re faster than Kenny. I double dog dare you to say it to his face right now. I bet he grabs the nearest meal trolley, kicks off the excess wheels and wins the down-to-the-lifts-and-back derby. Your only chance is if he fails the post race drug test, but he’s probably got a therapeutic exemption.

  9. Comment by allan | 08.27.2007 | 3:01 am

    Hope Kenny recovers quickly.

    Um…does he not wear gloves either?

  10. Comment by MAJ Mike | 08.27.2007 | 3:18 am

    Oh come on! Rub some dirt on it!

    Ok, fine…get well soon…

  11. Comment by Big Boned | 08.27.2007 | 3:27 am

    Kenny should watch lots of nature shows while he’s recovering. I think Animal Planet has “Big Cats Week” coming up. Maybe he could learn how to LAND ON HIS FEET! First the head, now the hip!
    Heal quick Kenny!

  12. Comment by Mike Roadie | 08.27.2007 | 3:29 am

    WOW….so sorry to hear this…..Kenny, Get Well Soon!!!! It’s a good thing the helmet episode happened before this disaster. So glad the lesson was learned, hips heal….heads, not so much. Speaking of hips, maybe FC will give Kenny Floyd’s cell number now that they are such “fast” friends—I’m sure he has some remedies for you!

    At least hip injuries heal. We are still fighting the fight……help support Susan and others as I and Clydesteve ride the Livestrong Challenges and raise money for the LAF. The deadline for qualifying for the Ride For The Roses is approaching fast; so help out today!!! Thanks!!!!


    And good luck Kenny!!!!!!

  13. Comment by cheapie | 08.27.2007 | 4:25 am

    oh man. suckage. but at least kenny can find some consolation in the fact that he’s still a good-lookin’ man.

    i’m not sayin’…just sayin’. lol.

  14. Comment by Marty | 08.27.2007 | 6:02 am

    I hope Kenny gets well soon. (Tell kenny I said that.)

    From Western Australia.

  15. Comment by Boz | 08.27.2007 | 6:08 am

    At least you didn’t need a bionic hip ala Floydd. You’re too young for that anyway. To get injured like Kenny does, you have to be moving fast, so that explains why on get minor bruises and scrapes. Get well soon, and don’t give FC anymore stories of this sort to write about, but stories of your victories in the toughest races.


  16. Comment by sasquatch | 08.27.2007 | 6:26 am

    You ride that much and that hard and you’re going to crash every once in a blue moon. It’s an odds game, and by having two in a row Kenny’s practically assured of a LONG season ahead of no crashes, even when they’re piling up around him.

    Plus. this gives Kenny his own category for every competitive ride. He’ll probably always be the fastest guy with three screws in his hip.

  17. Comment by Boz | 08.27.2007 | 6:27 am



  18. Comment by hades | 08.27.2007 | 7:10 am

    Well, speaking from experience here – he’ll be able to ride before he can walk, but it’ll be road riding for a while, bumps will hurt. It took me 3 weeks to ride again and about 5 to walk w/o crutches. Biking involves no weight on a leg when you don’t want it and movement in only one plane of motion. that all said… I hope Kenny feels better – the pain (of the injury and not being able to ride) is excruciating, I know…

  19. Comment by Badder | 08.27.2007 | 8:04 am

    I think Kenny just likes hospital food to much.

  20. Comment by Al Maviva | 08.27.2007 | 8:11 am

    Look on the bright side – Fatty is going to get all egotistical and uppity about this, and rub your nose in it real bad. You are going to come out of the hospital all banged up and weak, and it’s going to take a while to get your legs back. Meanwhile, Fatty will maybe nip you on a couple group rides, tell the world about it on the blog, and eat 17 bags of Oreo cookies per week in a celebratory frenzy.

    By about mid-November, you should be back to routinely crushing him again, he should be back to around 185 pounds, and we’ll be getting ready for B-7 v.3.0 – The Embiggening. All will be right in the world.

  21. Comment by KT | 08.27.2007 | 8:16 am

    Sigh. Kenny. You must get better, and I hope you learned something from all this. Besides wearing a helmet, which saved your noggin so you could ride home with your broken hip. Maybe a pair of gloves should be your next investment? You know, when you go to the bike shop to buy a new helmet. I mean, you’re going to be right there, so why not?

    Geez, though. You RODE YOUR BIKE with a broken hip, down what Fatty describes as a truly wicked piece of hillside. Impressive!

  22. Comment by Boz | 08.27.2007 | 8:33 am

    FC – think Kenny has the pipes to take you in a wheel chair race. If he keeps crashing like this, that may be his new sport. I sure hope not.

  23. Comment by MTB W | 08.27.2007 | 8:44 am

    Kenny, gotta say, when you crash, you certainly do it in style. Is 911 number one on your speed dial? What did you do – walk under a ladder or break a mirror – to have two major crashes? Since things happen in threes, I would be careful for a while! (Not that I am superstitious, knock on wood).

    But you certainly are tough, riding with a broken hip! I don’t think I could you beat you even now!

  24. Comment by Lisa B | 08.27.2007 | 8:53 am

    Ugh, poor Kenny! And Natalie! My husband broke his collarbone this winter (and then rode 5 miles after the crash to the ER – I loved coming home to that message on the machine!), and slurry is a good description of how he sounded. Maybe we should take up a collection for Kenny’s medical bills – they do make for good posting for FC!

  25. Comment by Kris | 08.27.2007 | 8:56 am

    Sorry to hear Kenny is laid-up again. I thought of Kenny as I went up the Squaw Peak road – spotting the curve where Kenny crashed and noting the grease (or whatever it is) streak is still there. Here’s hoping for a quick recuperation!

  26. Comment by cyclingphun.blogspot.com | 08.27.2007 | 9:22 am

    HEY! Get well soon, Kenny!
    Fatty: Yeah! Covey! Im pretty sure

  27. Comment by cyclingphun.blogspot.com | 08.27.2007 | 9:24 am

    HEY! It cut me off…
    Like I was saying, Fatty:
    Im pretty sure that – Screw your friends when they have misfourtune – is the 9th Habbit. I read it on the internet! Or something, I swear!

  28. Comment by Rocky | 08.27.2007 | 9:38 am

    Kenny doesn’t want the gloves to mess up his tan.

    Sorry man. You are having some string of luck. You know they come in threes, right? Be careful.

    Hey Kenny – jwanna race?

  29. Comment by regina | 08.27.2007 | 9:58 am

    get well kenny.

  30. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 08.27.2007 | 10:01 am

    Oh crap. Sorry Kenny.

  31. Comment by Philly Jen | 08.27.2007 | 10:22 am

    Kenny can also find some consolation in the fact that he still has a very gorgeous, very very very patient wife…who is still tough enough to double as EMS when need be.

    Dude must have been getting some serious designer drugs in the hospital — the expression on his face in the photos is way more Zenny than Kenny. I expect to hear one hand clapping at any moment.

    Get well soon, Big K! Props to Natalie! Take care, have a speedy recovery.

  32. Comment by fatty | 08.27.2007 | 10:29 am

    rocky – i was thinking about the “comes in threes” thing, too, and how kenny should hope these come in threes. broken back, crash on his head, and broken hip all in the space of about a year. he’s due for some non-injury time.

  33. Comment by dug | 08.27.2007 | 12:19 pm

    forget kenny, that’s a great sliding rock. we should do that more.

  34. Comment by Ricky | 08.27.2007 | 12:32 pm

    On a ride last week, Kenny and I joked about the fact that he and I tend to exchange violent wrecks year over year. That’s not to say you all don’t have them too.

    Reference Bobby’s collision with Bambi on South Fork and missing the left-hander (now called Bobby’s Corner) at the top of the Alpine Loop/AF side, Dug and his multiple broken bones and kinked vertebrae thanks to his bouts with SUVs and trucks and thanks to his 50-foot drop-to-the-basin on Porcupine Rim in Moab. Fatty used to wreck all the time. I know this because it was like reverse thunder and lightening—I could hear the crash first due to Elden’s Mo-Tab-worthy tenor chords announcing the wreck ala o oh Ouw OUW OUCH!, then see a pile of human skin, rock, and Gary Fisher proprietary tubing all knotted up. Fatty solidified his ability to suffer at Fall Moab 2003 when he landed on his face after an 8-foot drop off a ledge on Gold Bar Rim (http://www.ckjones.net/MOAB2003/Pages/10.html and 11.html). Fatty doesn’t scream anymore. And it’s common to see Gary, Fatty’s across-the-street neighbor, who is the Morrissey-looking character in today’s video clip, wrapped in various linens and smothered in ointment. It’s not clear, the causes, but I’ll say from wrecks to lighten his load. Then there’s Brad and Rick S. They don’t crash much. What does that mean? And Botched, well, how do you think he got his nick?

    Back to my comment. After Kenny’s skull-pan skid in July, it was my turn to wreck. I believe that Kenny, being the true friend and hero that he is, took this one for me. Thanks, brother, but you didn’t have to do that.

    Glad to hear Kenny will be at Fall Moab in November. Racer and I have a shiny new recumbent ss 29er on the way.

    Get better Kenny!

  35. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 08.27.2007 | 12:55 pm

    I think someone really is trying to kill Kenny.

    I would have liked to see the doctor’s face as he listened to Kenny’s medical history.

  36. Pingback by RocBike.com » Links Of The Day: 25-27 August 2007 | 08.27.2007 | 12:57 pm

    [...] I Am Much, Much, Faster Than Kenny [...]

  37. Comment by Kris | 08.27.2007 | 1:13 pm

    Ricky, thanks for the crash history. I’d thought it would be fun to ride with Fatty et al, but now I think … uh, maybe not. ;-)

  38. Comment by KP | 08.27.2007 | 1:24 pm

    Kenny, get well soon! If you don’t Fatty may take your place for 24 hrs of Moab! (Fatty, do we get to see a Weapon of Choice Single?)

  39. Comment by JET(not a nickname) | 08.27.2007 | 1:46 pm

    Rode a mountain bike down a mountain bike trail with a broken hip. Kenny is now the toughest man I know of.

  40. Comment by Clydesteve | 08.27.2007 | 3:13 pm

    Well, good thing you ride an SS, and not a fixie, Kenny – One-legging a fixie down a gnarly hill with a broken hip just Might have been Too Much!

    Don’t push the recovery too fast. That is what wrecked Floyd’s hip, so he eventually had to get a bionic one.

    Ed Pavelka, editor of http://www.roadbikerider.com , and a regular P-B-P endurance ride finisher, just got this same injury in a bike crash recently. He is a lot older than Kenny, so perhaps this does not apply, but he has been fairly strictly warned against pushing the recovery too hard, for fear of ruining the blood supply to the part that is screwed back together. Result: bone necrosis, like Floyd got. At least research it. (Cr@p! I sound like an old lady.)


    Please help the fight against cancer with a donation to the LIVESTRONG Challenge rides Mike Roadie or I am doing. You can designate your gift to honor Susan, or Susan as well as another loved one touched by cancer, and I encourage you to do so.


  41. Comment by kenny | 08.27.2007 | 3:32 pm

    I’d like to thank all my friends and the wonderful readers of this blog for all your kind words and good wishes. I’m starting to come to the realization that this injury is going to take some time. Usually when I get hurt, I just pretend that I’m not hurt and keep riding until I feel better again. I can tell that this won’t fly for a broken hip. It’s really bumming me out realizing how incapacitated I am. I need to try and put a positive spin on it somehow. When I think of how Susan got around Leadville all weekend with a fracture in her hip, it puts in perspective. She truly is an amazing person. When you don’t have your health it forces you to realize how lucky we are to live normal lives and experience good health.
    Brad… Thanks for the home brew. You out did yourself.
    Fatty… those chocolates are amazing. I’m trying to hide them from Natalie.
    Bry… I’m enjoying the Book “the power of one” It’s helping pass the time.
    Mark and Serena… Your zucchini bread reminds me of my mom’s cooking
    G. brown… I don’t think you’ll convert me to moto. I’d be dead for sure.
    Bill.. I’m still waiting for my pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Coffee heath bar crunch is my favorite.
    Last of all I need to thank my wife for being so patient thru this injury and all past and future incidences.

  42. Comment by walter | 08.27.2007 | 4:15 pm

    Get better soon, Kenny. Glad to hear the helmet did its job. Maybe while you’re recuperating, you could look into additional insurance coverage — sounds like some kind of helicopter/med-evac coverage might be useful… ;-)

  43. Comment by miles archer | 08.27.2007 | 4:33 pm

    Oh man, it hurts just to think about it.

    Get well soon, kenny

  44. Comment by formertdffan | 08.27.2007 | 4:38 pm

    He had to pay for the ambulance ride for the last crash?!! There should be a law against that —

    Anyhow, get well soon kenny!

  45. Comment by RoadRash | 08.27.2007 | 5:24 pm

    What doesn’t kill you on the bike, makes you stronger, and yes more spiritual.

    I took my first ambulance ride in June. I was only a few miles from the hospital, but my ridingcompatriots did not want my blood dripping in their car seats. Just makes me appreciate the time in the saddle that much more.

    Heal fast & true Kenny. Moab awaits.

  46. Comment by Kris | 08.27.2007 | 8:05 pm

    Good to hear from you Kenny!

    I went on a short ride up in the Orem foothills with my wife – nothing big, just an out-n-back cruise on the BST. On a whim I decided to try to do the whole thing in the middle ring. I read about Kenny’s crash this morning and on this ride I thought about Kenny cranking his SS and, I dunno, it helped me feel inspired about pushing taller gears. I’m no Kenny, but I was rockin’ tonight – I just motored along, pushing the climbs, ripping the downhills, I felt so solid on the bike. It was exhilarating! The thought occurred to me: Is Kenny lounging in his hospital bed thinking: I hope someone has a good ride today. Well, if so, I’m here to tell you I had a great ride! Thanks for the inspiration, Kenny!

    The other thought I had was: maybe with Kenny out of action there is more mojo in the air for the rest of us to absorb. ;-)

    Either way, get out there and crank out a good ride for Kenny!

  47. Comment by SpikeBlue | 08.30.2007 | 8:40 am

    Oh my god – they killed Kenny!


    Kenny – hang in there. I’m sure you will be back on your bike long before the doctors predict.

  48. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Kenny Makes Me Mad | 10.28.2007 | 9:29 pm

    [...] Back on August 26, I posted that my good friend Kenny, while riding alone on his mountain bike, had crashed, breaking his hip. [...]

  49. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » How to be Popular, Part I: What To Carry | 01.15.2008 | 9:51 pm

    [...] Kenny has since mentioned that if some of his other friends were as generous as I, maybe he wouldn’t have broken his hip. [...]

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  51. Comment by John | 03.16.2008 | 7:44 pm


    I broke my hip skiing and would like to get in touch with others who have broken thier hip and are dedicated to running, biking again. If there is anyway to get in touch with Kenny, please help. John at john_m_hernandez@hotmail.com Thanks!

  52. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Kenny’s Race Report: 2008 Kokopelli Trail Race | 05.20.2008 | 7:29 am

    [...] I wanted to keep the rubber side down.  After last year’s unfortunate events [See here and here for what Kenny’s talking about. - Fatty], it’s my new creed.  Plus if I end up in the [...]

  53. Comment by Elyza | 04.14.2011 | 4:31 am

    nCw47J Good point. I hadn’t thhougt about it quite that way. :)


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