Eat a Lot of Goats: The Video Game

08.27.2007 | 9:11 pm

You know what’s cool? It’s cool to see your kids get really, really good at something.

You know what’s even cooler? When your kids surpass you at something. For example, a few years ago, my son — ten years old at the time — and I started learning Macromedia Flash together. He is now way, way beyond anything I can do with it.

So I recently asked him to do another cartoon for the blog. He, however, was more interested in writing an arcade-style game, using some of the elements from his previous cartoons for the site.

So here it is: Eat a Lot of Goats, starring Bob and me. You can play as either of us.

Need help on how to play? OK, here are the instructions, which my son was kind enough to write.


  • Eat as many goats as you can
  • Don’t lose all of your health!


  • Don’t stay in the explosions caused by the dangerously ugly jersey, or you’ll lose health.
  • Eating said jersey would cause instant death, so avoid that at all costs.
  • Moving offscreen will cause a deer to bounce you back onscreen, and you will lose health.


  • Left arrow key: move left
  • Right arrow key: move right
  • Down arrow key: use tongue to eat goats directly in front of you.


  • Hold down both arrow keys at once to stop quickly.
  • Goats disappear after a while, but you won’t be penalized; another one will just fall elsewhere to replace it.
  • The fresher the goat is, the more points you get for eating it.
  • You can pick multiple goats with one press of the down key if they’re clumped together.
  • Don’t try to eat a goat if a jersey’s too close to it!
  • The closer you are to the center of an explosion, the more damage you take.

PS: Feel free to post your high score in the comments. So far mine’s not worth mentioning.

PPS: Contest tomorrow, with an extra-cool prize: a highly-coveted and hard-to-obtain Ergon BD1 bike backpack!


  1. Comment by fatty | 08.27.2007 | 9:19 pm

    ok, my best score so far is 7146.

  2. Comment by IndoorRolyPoly | 08.27.2007 | 9:27 pm

    4248, a good laugh!

  3. Comment by Alex from ZA | 08.28.2007 | 12:18 am

    8148, then the evil, ugly shirt got me!

    Your son rocks, Fatty.

  4. Comment by Congo | 08.28.2007 | 1:44 am

    I put my 9 year old daughter on to it with the promise of extra allowance if she got highest score. She made it to 13336 before she got shirted. Great game!

  5. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 08.28.2007 | 2:19 am

    I played as Bob and scored 190, 0 and 478. I then played as fatty and immediately got 8226. I figured I was getting better so I went back to Bob and suffered a 702. I can only draw one conclusion from this extensive scientific study and I’m getting a t-shirt printed to declare my findings… “I ride the short bus and Bob is my handicap.”

  6. Comment by Big Boned | 08.28.2007 | 3:12 am

    First time I played as Bob, I scored 0 – Bob apparently couldn’t be convinced to ride that day. Second time I score 540 and decided you Aussies have more time to practice than me, I’ve got WORK to do here!

  7. Comment by Mike Roadie | 08.28.2007 | 3:24 am

    He is a Genius!!!

    My score was 10,572…..coincidentally the same number as my Livestrong total…the amount I have collected so far in support of Susan and others in the fight against cancer. While it’s not at all a game, you too can honor Susan and so many others by going to either my site or Clydesteve’s in support:

    And hurry….because just like the game, we are running out of time!!!

    Thanks for the fun, FC!!!!!

  8. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 08.28.2007 | 4:11 am

    It keeps telling me I’m a fool. I want to know who told it.
    Very Clever work Shadow.

  9. Comment by John Daigle | 08.28.2007 | 4:11 am

    Ad agencies everywhere are hiring flash designers… a game like this, with expiring goats, is pretty advanced.

    Put the kid to work.

  10. Comment by Mike Roadie | 08.28.2007 | 4:19 am

    Also, just in case any of you missed Lance on NBC’s Meet the Press with Tim Russert this past weekend, here’s the link to some very important things he has to say about the fight against cancer in this country:

    Check it out and see why we HAVE to support Livestrong!!!!!!


  11. Comment by Turt99 | 08.28.2007 | 4:51 am

    That’s an awesome little game, first couple times I found the controls a little hard but then I figured it out and scored something like 2500+, nothing compared to some of these other scores though.

  12. Comment by AMG in Texas | 08.28.2007 | 5:04 am

    AWESOME!!! The kid is a genius. Way to go fatty jr!!

    Get well Kenny!!

    Get well Susan!!!

  13. Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 08.28.2007 | 5:55 am

    Dang those goats!!!

  14. Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 08.28.2007 | 5:56 am

    Wahoo! 1302! I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead. :)

  15. Comment by Den | 08.28.2007 | 6:06 am

    That…was fun.

    22,332 as fatty

  16. Comment by Boz | 08.28.2007 | 6:20 am

    I wonder if Healthy Choice is going to introduce a goat entree’ since they’re the banner add today. Goat is supposed to good for you, ya know. Big in the midlle east. Good cheese, too.

  17. Comment by KeepYerBag | 08.28.2007 | 6:24 am

    Cool game. I don’t have the reflexes to get a mentionable score, but it’s a lot of fun.

    You have a cute belly button, Fatty.

  18. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 08.28.2007 | 7:06 am

    is it the reflexes or the degenerating mental capacity–it’s a mystery, but either way, a nice game.

    Freaking ungulates account for 70% of my deaths. I’m slurping a nice goat and “whack” a deer pushes me across the screen, tongue out, to accidently chew a hideous jersey. Blamo, dead Bob.

  19. Comment by | 08.28.2007 | 8:29 am

    Nice man, I really like it! Tell ‘im “way to go!”

  20. Comment by Heffalump | 08.28.2007 | 8:34 am

    6876…I find it easier to play as Bob for some reason.

  21. Comment by Heffalump | 08.28.2007 | 8:39 am

    Oooh…make that 8004. I keep accidentally eating the jersey. It must be all the colors.

  22. Comment by TimK | 08.28.2007 | 9:00 am

    5486. Why can’t I catch air? Give me a jump button and I will be rocking it for sure!

    Personally, I think the jersey should be a power boost! It looks like it’s made out of melted Shot Blocks! Mmmmmargarita.

    Tell Shadow Scythe, “Great Jorb!”

  23. Comment by tigermouth | 08.28.2007 | 9:21 am

    1st try – ~300
    2nd try – 3324

    That’s all the tolerance I have for video games. The one exception: Guitar Hero Rules!!!

  24. Comment by Blue | 08.28.2007 | 9:38 am

    I’m staking my claim at 37,192. I think the jersey timer hypnotised me and I just had to keep playing.

    Honestly, pure genius! I’ve done some flash and I’m impressed.

  25. Comment by Philly Jen | 08.28.2007 | 9:51 am

    I can only assume that those rainbow explosions that take place onscreen for Fatty, but not Bob, are the aforementioned splorping of Margarita Shot Bloks..

    Very nice work, Shadow Scythe! Can’t wait for the next installment.

  26. Comment by GadRock | 08.28.2007 | 10:10 am

    25200 as fatty, I have to go back to work though. Stupid work keeping me from the intratubes.

  27. Comment by monkeywebb | 08.28.2007 | 10:11 am

    My 2871 is probably the best I’ve ever done at any video game. The deer got me in the end. Sadly, it’s not the first time one of them has taken me out.

  28. Comment by TG | 08.28.2007 | 1:08 pm

    Great Job, Shadow Scythe! I am to embarrassed to note my score. I think I am much better at watching cartoons than playing video games.

  29. Comment by Shadow Scythe | 08.28.2007 | 1:31 pm

    Thanks for all the positive comments, everyone! I’m glad you like that game. It was pretty fun to make. And now, I compile a top ten of the scores listed here. I hope I didn’t miss any of them:

    37192 (Blue)
    25200 (Gadrock)
    22332 (Den)
    13336 (Congo’s daughter)
    10572 (Mike Roadie)
    8226 (Big Mike in Oz)
    8148 (Alex from ZA)
    8004 (Heffalump)
    7156 (Fat Cyclist)
    5486 (TimK)

    …all of which are higher than my own high score. I guess I’d better try harder!

  30. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 08.28.2007 | 1:47 pm

    There is a good reason I’ll never allow video games in my house…I suck!
    I tried each three times to see if there was any difference. But I did all three Fatty’s, then all three Bob’s so I was getting better towards the end which through off my initial experiment. Oh well, I still suck.

    Fatty- 198, 222, 214
    Bob- 108, 2120, 944

  31. Comment by Heffalump | 08.28.2007 | 2:20 pm

    24794 woohoo!

  32. Comment by fatty | 08.28.2007 | 2:21 pm

    OK, 22942 is my new high score. I seriously doubt I will ever touch 37,000.

    Though I may try later.

  33. Comment by Metronome | 08.28.2007 | 2:45 pm

    Highest so far…10,691; nice work on the game

  34. Comment by Clydesteve | 08.28.2007 | 3:43 pm

    9650. As Fatty 964 as Bob. What’s up with that?

    Taking a cue from Mike Roadie, 9650 is very close to my goal for fundraising for the LIVESTRONG Challenge. I would never spam Fatty’s site for anything except the super cause of eradicating cancer. Please donate to Mike Roadie’s or my ride in honor of Susan.

    I had a great 65 mile solo ride Sunday. Sunriver, OR via SR42 to Cultus Lake Resort, where I ate a goat for breakfast, return to Sunriver via SR40. This is a place where a 6:30 am start means full finger gloves, leg and arm warmers. None of which I brought. Brrrr!

  35. Comment by kenny | 08.28.2007 | 4:23 pm

    what else have i got to do?

  36. Comment by RoadRash | 08.28.2007 | 4:23 pm

    Shadow rocks! PB = 2824

  37. Comment by MrsC | 08.28.2007 | 4:40 pm

    tens of thousands??? I barely broke 2,000! How long did you guys play this game!?!

    Great job Shadow, it is a hoot. I’ll keep playing. I CANNOT stay away. I may need an intervention soon, though.

  38. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 08.28.2007 | 5:20 pm

    Best score – sixplenty!
    must stop now before the boss sees me !

  39. Comment by Kris | 08.28.2007 | 7:34 pm

    I didn’t read the instructions and got creamed. Read them and tried again and got over 25,000 and 300 health – feeling that was good enough I committed jersey-icide. Nice work on the game! Good graphics, smooth animation and character motion and novel idea. If you want to tinker with it some more, think of how you can make it get harder as either time goes by or the player reaches certain scores.

  40. Comment by Rachel | 08.28.2007 | 7:39 pm

    That’s so funny! Your son is hilarious. I love the ugly jersey, but my favorite part is the goats.

  41. Comment by velocc | 08.28.2007 | 8:47 pm

    What a rainy evening and a glass of wine can do…go out hunting goats.
    First, I only caught meager amounts like 2000 something but then, I had Fatty dialed in and I had the right amount of “fire-water” in me (And I played the whole dam evening or was it my lucky stars?) anyway, I reached….drum roll …40,000 and kept going, but all of a sudden we had my laptop decided, hmmmm, my battery is empty and I have to shut myself of…..WTF….
    So, the most official count, I can come up with is 40,000, because after that is it was only a few scrunchy looking goats:( They probably had to send out the youglings and the old goats to meets Fatty’s appetite. May they rest in pieces!

  42. Comment by Ben | 08.29.2007 | 6:42 am

    so simple and so fun! Just what I needed, something else to keep me in this webspace.

  43. Comment by Lowrydr | 08.29.2007 | 7:12 am

    Amazing goat eating survivial game. Haven’t made it past 2,500 yet though, the wife keeps pushing me off the laptop (hers). My tower died the other day and haven’t gotten it replaced yet.

    Fatty, you will need to put a link up on the side of the page later. As the post rotates off the main page.

    Smooth game there Shadow, keep up the good work. Maybe a pop-up gopher or something.

  44. Comment by JM | 08.29.2007 | 1:03 pm

    got 12794 deer pushed him onto the jersey

  45. Comment by regina | 08.30.2007 | 6:24 am

    your son is a prodigy. you need to spring for some software.

  46. Comment by Bikerboy | 09.1.2007 | 6:39 am

    My score is 37,202. Beat That!


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