I think this post is going to ramble a bit. Sorry about that. I’ve got a few things on my mind.
First, tomorrow (Friday) night I’m finally going to be getting home from Houston. Then, Saturday morning I go into a packing frenzy. Saturday afternoon, we pack the kids into the van and drive partway to Disneyland. Which means that I don’t know whether or how often I’ll be posting next week. I suspect, actually, that I’ll post something on Monday, because that’s the day I find out I didn’t win a bloggie. After that, I’ll probably post a few pictures each day of the family from Disneyland.
Second, a lot of you have been wondering how Susan’s doing. Well, she’s impressing the heck out of me. She never uses two crutches anymore. Often, she gets around with just a cane. And she’s taken some little steps with no assistance whatsoever. It’s a pleasure to see her make progress like this.
That said, I’m pretty worried about whether the Disneyland trip is overdoing it for her. She has a hard time sitting for a long time, and a trip to the grocery store tires her out. One of my jobs is going to be watching her to see whether she’s tired, because she doesn’t like to admit she is.
Susan’s hair has been growing back, and while it’s short, she still had it dyed red last week — her hair was red when I met her, and I’ve always liked her that way. She looks great. No hats or bandanas necessary for being out in public any more
Right after we get back from Disneyland, Susan starts chemo up again. To tell the truth, we don’t talk about that much. Having a big vacation to look forward to instead has been a great thing.
But sometimes I think about her having to start chemo again and I feel a little ill — a sympathy pang, of sorts. I think I’ve seemed distracted, and I have a harder time trying to be funny for this blog, and I think that’s why. I just dread the chemo experience — our third time, starting in just a few days.
Third, knowing that my wrist is messed up (can anyone legitimately claim they were right in diagnosing me, by the way? I’ve got a shirt for you if so) has made me think about this season. I expect I’m going to have to have surgery and some healing time before I can ride mountain bikes again.
I have to accept the likelihood that I won’t be able to get into great shape by Leadville.
Strangely, I feel very happy about that possibility, because it allows a whole new slew of possibilities.
- I’ll spend this summer riding more with my kids, instead of training.
- I’ll do all of Travis Ott’s list of things I have to do in order to earn the use of a Superfly for three months, even though when push came to shove I couldn’t make myself wait and I went ahead and bought one.
- I’ll ride Leadville on a single speed at a fun pace, instead of killing myself trying to finish under nine hours (which, let’s face it, I would fail at anyway).
- When I say I’m going riding with friends, I’ll really ride with friends…instead of just racing them.
- I’ll try to eat well, but put my bathroom scale in a closet.
With the possibility of being a serious racer fading away, the possibility of having a lot of fun looms large. That sounds pretty great to me.
And in 2009, I’ll think about racing seriously again.
I have to say, plan B sounds pretty great to me.