Best Jersey Pocket Food Ever

04.8.2008 | 10:33 am

I want to start today’s post by stating that I do not report to Alex, a coworker of mine. He does not affect my salary, and he does not have the ability to fire me. He doesn’t have any sway over whether I ever get a raise or bonus.

So, now that I’ve established that I have no reason to brown-nose Alex, I would like to state, for the record, that he is a genius. Why would I make this bold — some would say "audacious," but I believe that this word has recently been trademarked — claim?

Because he has devised what I believe to be the best Jersey Pocket Food (JPF) that has ever been created.

JPF Qualifications
To be a true JPF, the item must — at a bare minimum — fit in a jersey pocket, and be food.

Simple enough, right?

Well, not so fast, Buster. It may not take much to be a JPF, but being a really great JPF requires so much more. Here are some of the attributes of a really great JPF:

  • Easily Edible: Simply being food is kind of a low bar to clear in a JPF. Even the original PowerBars are a JPF by this metric, albeit barely. Easily edible means that you can, while still riding, reach back into your pocket, get the JPF out, remove the packaging, chew and swallow, all while still breathing and hopefully without wrecking. By this more stringent metric, very few foods qualify as a good JPF.
  • Delicious: During a long ride, do you actually look forward to eating your JPF? Or does your stomach clench up and you find an excuse to go for another 20 minutes without eating? Your food is not a good JPF if you are reluctant to eat it.
  • Highly Available: Suppose you’re in Hurricane (pronounced "HURR-uh-kuhn), Utah, about to spend the day riding Gooseberry Mesa. You need to buy food at the teeny-tiny grocery store there. Will you be able to get your favorite JPF there?
  • Good Calorie Mix: Does your JPF have carbs, protein and fat? In other words, is it going to just power you for fifteen minutes, or does it have some legs to it?

Well, the JPF Alex suggested to me a couple of days is all of these. And it’s elegantly simple, too.

You’re probably wishing I’d just finally tell you what it is, aren’t you? Well, too bad. I’m not going to.

Just kidding.

The Ultimate JPF
I’m almost reluctant to reveal the ultimate JPF, because now that I know about it, it seems almost ridiculously obvious, like I should have been doing this all along.

But I haven’t been, and I’ll bet you haven’t been, either. So bear that in mind when I — finally — reveal that the ultimate JPF is:

Avocado, sliced onto and folded into a piece of white bread, kept in a sandwich bag.

You may be tempted to add condiments — mayo, etc. Don’t. You don’t need them, and condiments go bad fast.

Yes, that’s really all there is to it. Consider, though:

  • It’s easy to get to.
  • It’s easy to chew.
  • White bread holds together and kind of sticks to itself and the avocado, keeping all together.
  • It’s incredibly delicious, even after — no, make that especially after — riding for hours. I tested this last weekend.
  • It’s got carbs, the right kind of fat, and protein.
  • It’s delicious. In fact, it is widely known that the avocado is the most delicious food in the whole world.

I haven’t tried this on a 5+ hour ride yet, but I plan to this weekend. I can hardly wait.

Try it and let me know what you think. I’ll be happy to forward your praise along to Alex.

PS: Take a Survey, Help a Good Cause: A Fat Cyclist reader is conducting a survey about bike rack accessories. He’s said that he’ll donate $5.00 to the Lance Armstrong Foundation for every survey — up to 200 of them — Fat Cyclist readers do. I went ahead and took it, and found it pretty interesting. So why don’t you click here to take the survey? You’ll be helping a guy make a decision whether to go into business for himself, and you’ll be donating toward a good cause. Thanks!A big "Thank you" goes to everyone who’s taken the survey; more than 600 of you have taken the it, and he’s donated $1000 to the LAF. He got good data from his target demographic, you helped a guy with an interesting idea, and LAF got more money to help people with cancer.


  1. Comment by anonymous | 04.8.2008 | 10:39 am

    I’m so trying this.

  2. Comment by Angus | 04.8.2008 | 10:41 am

    Or is this a ploy to try to get legions of bikers to vomit mid- ride?

  3. Comment by Ed | 04.8.2008 | 10:43 am


  4. Comment by andy | 04.8.2008 | 10:47 am

    please note that most of us do not have your super power.

  5. Comment by Adam | 04.8.2008 | 10:54 am


  6. Comment by Jen | 04.8.2008 | 10:54 am

    Because green barf is the coolest. I get it now.

  7. Comment by fatty | 04.8.2008 | 10:54 am

    andy, i take your point, but you need to know that this was invented by a totally different guy, who also doesn’t have my super power.

  8. Comment by 331miles | 04.8.2008 | 11:04 am

    I’ll have to try it, but to me it already breaks the ‘easily edible’ rule.

  9. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 04.8.2008 | 11:07 am

    I’m on that like stink on poo! I love avocado and I’m always looking for an excuse top eat more of it. I now have that excuse. However, I will substitute a nice slice of multi-grain bread for the pasty abomination that is white bread.

  10. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 04.8.2008 | 11:08 am

    Make that “excuse TO eat more of it.” Must learn to proof-read before clicking Submit…

  11. Comment by nickc | 04.8.2008 | 11:18 am


  12. Comment by Jason | 04.8.2008 | 11:37 am

    Avocado. No.

  13. Comment by db | 04.8.2008 | 11:43 am

    I eat something similar: An avocado between slices of parmesan bagel. That will get you through a century.

  14. Comment by KT | 04.8.2008 | 11:43 am

    Y’know, for the longest time the only way I would eat avocado is when it’s made into guacamole.

    And there was a time before that when I wouldn’t go near the stuff.

    But now… mmmmm…. I’ll eat it raw, or in sandwiches, or as part of salads, or however I can get it.

    I’m definitely going to try this, but like Burke I’m going with a multi-grain or, at least, wheat for the bread.

  15. Comment by Blue | 04.8.2008 | 11:51 am

    This is why I read this award-winning blog! If I hadn’t then I never have such a great excuse to eat avacado!

    hmmm . . I wonder what an avocado donut would taste like . .

  16. Comment by Blue | 04.8.2008 | 11:53 am

    Somehow I deleted the ‘would’ while contemplating, maybe it’s just another sign of how good this could be.

  17. Comment by scank | 04.8.2008 | 11:54 am

    Not for me either.

  18. Comment by andrewc | 04.8.2008 | 11:59 am

    being from california, i completely agree with the avocado-as-food. It sounds delicious. We californians are very well adjusted when it comes to things like avocado. And being, essentially, an eleven year old trapped in an adults body, I also back the white bread. Not since ma slathered Goobers onto wonderbread have i been so excited about my processed white bread.

  19. Comment by Big Bird | 04.8.2008 | 12:00 pm

    I like to eat avocado on toast for breakfast. Now I’ll have to try it while riding. And just so you know, avocado is even better if you sprinkle it with a bit of salt.

  20. Comment by Big Bird | 04.8.2008 | 12:02 pm

    And, for the record, avocado is a fruit, and like any fruit it works in sweet dishes. In some places, avocado milkshakes are very popular. Don’t let the association of avocados with tortilla chips limit your options.

  21. Comment by John H. | 04.8.2008 | 12:03 pm

    It would be if Avocado were not simply the most horrendous tasting “food” ever invented. I hesitate to even use the word food when describing Avocado. The term “Frog poop in a convenient wrapper with non edible hard candy center” comes to mind, but it’s easier to say food. Ick. Although as Jen noted, green vomit IS the coolest, so I can see some benefits to someone else eating it.

  22. Comment by bikemike | 04.8.2008 | 12:08 pm

    Claxton Fruitcake, from Georgia (i think) you could do a double century with this stuff and still want it at the end.
    OH, don’t you roll your eyes at me, young man.

  23. Comment by Another Critic | 04.8.2008 | 12:08 pm

    OK, it’s got fat. But no way is anything wrapped in bread easy to eat when you’re breathing hard And how is this better than any other sandwich, really? I think I’ll stick with a banana.

  24. Comment by Dobovedo | 04.8.2008 | 12:19 pm

    See paragraph 6 – subsection 2, “Delicious”, wherein it says, and I quote… “Your food is not a good JPF if you are reluctant to eat it.”

    ‘Reluctant’ doesn’t even begin to describe how much I’m NOT going to stuff bits of avocado in my jersey pocket!

    To each his/her own though…

  25. Comment by Lifesgreat | 04.8.2008 | 12:31 pm

    Avocados were made for guacamole, not JPF. Yuck!

    I will stick to my peanut butter and homemade strawberry jam sandwiches-the perfect JPF for me.

  26. Comment by Bob | 04.8.2008 | 12:31 pm

    This gives me a great idea for guacamole based Powerbar Gel-type goo.

  27. Comment by chtrich | 04.8.2008 | 12:35 pm

    Where is the avocado ice cream??? mmmmmm

  28. Comment by KanyonKris | 04.8.2008 | 12:36 pm

    I like avocados, I must try this. But my perennial favorite Fig Newtons won’t be dethroned without a fight.

    I tried an avocado shake a few months back. I must have done something wrong – couldn’t get even 2 ounces down.

  29. Comment by Rafael | 04.8.2008 | 12:45 pm

    Man, Avocado is really one of the best fruits in the world…

    I am from brazil, and my mother works in a farm machiney dealer, so, always a costumer leaves a box of avocados there and she bring some to home… I will try this in the bread some day…

    Did you use only a slice, in natura, or you put on the bender with milk, and then, put it on the bread?

  30. Comment by M2 | 04.8.2008 | 12:46 pm

    JPF – Jersey Pocket Food, or Just Plain Foolish.

    Avocados are meant for guacamole, the perfect companion for tortilla chips and burritos, topping a bacon teriyaki cheese burger, or garnishing your best Sunday morning omelet, but not wadded up in a slice of Wonder Bread. You do a disservice to the avocado, sir.

  31. Comment by barry1021 | 04.8.2008 | 1:10 pm

    Ummmm, no. Something about a green fruit that turns black when it is exposed to air that says I am also gonna stick with fig newtons.

    BTW, The best time to eat them is on a 95 degree humid day when you have a stash of them in your back pocket-instant fig mushball. I am just so disappointed that so many of the packs that I have bought recently have been stale. I need to write the Newtons about that….


  32. Comment by TigerMouth61 | 04.8.2008 | 1:13 pm

    I love avocados, but they seem messy to carry in a jersey pocket, even wrapped in bread and in a plastic bag.

    My favorite JPFs are dates and figs. I ate one or the other every 20 minutes while riding from Ithaca to Boston. Lots of sugar, but I guess not much fat or protein. Maybe I should try avocado and bread.

  33. Comment by Tobin | 04.8.2008 | 1:14 pm

    Okay, but won’t the avocado go all brown and icky? Should be fine for an hour or two, but for a long ride I’m thinking it won’t be so appetizing. Are you suggesting to just scarf it so fast you don’t have to look at it? (Does the brown gick taste okay? I’m sounding like a really picky eater here, aren’t I?)

  34. Comment by axel | 04.8.2008 | 1:18 pm

    you are supposed to eat industrially produced energy bars, gels or drinks. These companies take your money, then sponsor races and racers, which makes people eat more industrially produced energy bars, gels or drinks.
    If you eat avocados instead, this whole section of the bike economy collapses (unless you can talk the wonderbread company and the council of avocado producers into becoming race sponsors).

    As far as food is concerned, avocados are the best.
    As far as vomit is concerned, green is the best.

  35. Comment by isela | 04.8.2008 | 1:21 pm

    Took the survey.

  36. Comment by Ant | 04.8.2008 | 1:31 pm

    You’re all soft. All of you! Soft as an avacado sandwich after 6 hours in a jersey pocket.

    I’m a big fan of the avacado, especially on toast in the morning. I can see the avacado jersey sandwich working very well.

    However I must agree with Big Bird – much better with a bit of salt.

    Hmmm – good fats, protein, carbs, and ELECTROLYTES. Must be natures super cycling food!

  37. Comment by cyclostu | 04.8.2008 | 1:35 pm

    Ultimate JPF? Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies. It just doesn’t get any better. They also go way back in cycling lore. Watch American Flyers and when the teams are getting all of their gear out of their vans to ready for the “Hell of the West” stage race, someone pulls out boxes of oatmeal creme pies. If it’s good enough for Belloff, Musin, Jerome, Tommy, and David and Marcus Summers, then it’s good enough for me.

  38. Comment by Stephen Waits | 04.8.2008 | 2:02 pm

    I like the Bonk Breakers PB&J. Best “JPF” I’ve ever had. If you haven’t tried them yet, you should. See: (I have no connection to them, I’m just a satisfied customer!)

  39. Comment by mark | 04.8.2008 | 2:26 pm

    Not so sure about this one, fattie. But I will give it a try.

    The best thing I have ever eaten on a long ride was chips and salsa at mile 83 of a century. Not really suitable for a jersey pocket, but if that works, who’s to say avocados won’t?

  40. Comment by Philly Jen | 04.8.2008 | 2:45 pm

    All hail the mighty Avocado. Though I have to say, a century seems like an awful lot of work for a piece of Hass…

    (Could. Not. Resist.)

  41. Comment by Marrock | 04.8.2008 | 3:18 pm

    To me, avocados, once removed from the skin, look like they’ve already been eaten and rejected, that alone removes them from my menu.

  42. Comment by Born4Lycra | 04.8.2008 | 3:19 pm

    Hey Blue – an avocado donut might taste like ooh lets think Avocado? I’m a date person myself. Prepacked no preparation ready to go.
    Everybody asking about the change in colour of the Avvie. I can’t imagine you will have the time to peel the bread apart and check – it’s out the pocket straight in the gob make sure you don’t crash stuff isn’t it?

  43. Comment by Richmond Roadie | 04.8.2008 | 3:34 pm

    Avocado is like manna!

    Still, there’s nothing like a good ol’ banana, GORP, and Fig Newtons.

  44. Comment by Josh | 04.8.2008 | 3:36 pm

    I stick with the original power snack: PB&J on white. All of the benefits of your friend’s California Ketchup sandwich, but a sweet’n’salty taste that hits the spot for me much better.

    On long rides or brevets, I like to bring a couple chinese pork buns. A little bit of meat is quite a pick-me-up, and the bun keeps it all neatly contained.

    As the man says: I am not a nutritional role model.

  45. Comment by mgr | 04.8.2008 | 3:39 pm

    Your ads don’t look fake today so I guess that means you’re not kidding so I might just go ahead and try this. It has to be better than SPAM.

  46. Comment by Kenny's neice | 04.8.2008 | 3:48 pm

    My grandparents have a condo in St.George and Kenny’s youngest daughter always used to call it the avo-condo, getting it mixed up with an avocado. I like to tease her about it… I don’t know if it bugs her anymore, but it used to… :D

  47. Comment by mgr | 04.8.2008 | 4:13 pm

    Avacado on bread in my pocket
    Makes my bicycle go like a rocket
    O’er hill and down dale
    This fruit doth prevail!
    And on white bread? Better still – don’t mock it!

  48. Comment by Karst | 04.8.2008 | 4:46 pm

    Avocado…on a bike ride, smushed in a bag in a jersey pocket on a hot day?

    You are asking for bacterial growth that will make you very sick.

    No way. And I love avocadoes, especially with lemon pepper and salt on whole wheat bread.

    On the other hand, I personally look forward to Fatty’s story of how this concoction caused him to finish the 2008 Leadville 100 in 20 hours, pushing the bike for about 40 of those miles, barfing green out both ends.

  49. Comment by Philthy in Oz | 04.8.2008 | 5:13 pm

    Another poetic comment – here’s a (or is that an?) haiku.

    An avocado
    In white bread is delicious
    And prevents bonking

  50. Comment by Steve Zimmerman | 04.8.2008 | 5:18 pm

    Um, no. The best Jersey Pocket Food is this a Hostess fruit pie. 480 calories, easy to eat, very tasty. I’ve used them as race food and they are fabulous.

  51. Comment by Canadian Roadie | 04.8.2008 | 6:03 pm

    Yum, 2 of my favorite things together! By the way, my $0.01 tee and water bottle arrived today! Wahoo! They’re awesome – thanks Fatty!

  52. Comment by David (vivid) | 04.8.2008 | 6:04 pm

    I took the survey, I quess I’m not the only guy who has done this garage door thing more than once.

  53. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 04.8.2008 | 6:22 pm

    I’m looking and looking for the fake advertisements, but I can’t find them.

    A genius, yes; an EVIL genius.

    I can’t believe you had the audaciousness to follow up a biking and eating donuts post with a biking and eating avocado post. The dissonance created by that inconcruity…well, I felt a disturbance in the force.

  54. Comment by boots | 04.8.2008 | 6:22 pm

    Once upon a time, long long ago, Wonder Bread actually did sponsor a cycling team (I still have the jersey), but I don’t believe avocadoes figured in the kit.

  55. Comment by Paul | 04.8.2008 | 6:37 pm

    Hey, this isn’t another April Fools, is it? because Avocado is gross. Seriously not worth the calories.

  56. Comment by DougG | 04.8.2008 | 6:49 pm

    I cook a whole bunch of steel cut oats with dried cranberries and raisins. shape it into bars and let it cool over night in the fridge. wrap them up in wax paper and enjoy!

  57. Comment by sk8ermom3 | 04.8.2008 | 7:17 pm

    I too, looked for the fake ads, or some subtle joke, but no, it does seem as though you are serious, or seriously disturbed. I love avocados. I eat them as snacks, scooping creamy green spoonfuls right out of the skin, or perhaps stuffing the center with shrimp salad. I can’t, however, wrap my taste buds around slapping pieces of avocado in between two pieces of bread, and carrying on my backside during a ride, then digging into it with gusto. I also have never driven my van into the garage with my bike on the roof rack, so maybe I am deficient in some way.

  58. Comment by Jenni | 04.8.2008 | 7:24 pm

    Love avocado, this just seems way too messy. And icky if I think about it getting all hot in my pocket on a hot day. However, should I crash, it would provide a soft buffer. Or the green squish would REALLY freak out pedestrians or the driver who ran me off the road. You may have more dimensions than you thought Fatty.

    I can also think- the avocado would probably make good butt butter in a pinch…er, rub. Now THERE is a vision.

  59. Comment by Madisonian | 04.8.2008 | 7:59 pm

    Fig Newtons: the original JPF.

  60. Comment by Philly Jen | 04.8.2008 | 8:08 pm

    @Josh: Chinese pork buns? I think I love you.

  61. Comment by Jeremy | 04.8.2008 | 9:00 pm

    All you do is put the garage door opener in the glove box when you put a bike on top and you solve the problem. But…this is america, so we need another power sapping product.

  62. Comment by Badger | 04.8.2008 | 9:52 pm

    All this talk of green vomit makes me remember the wop we had for St. Patrick’s day…whoo, that was awesome.

    The perfect JPF is a peanut butter, banana, and honey half-sandwich folded up. That will keep you going for awhile. Ate three while climbing Cherohala Skyway in NC and felt like I could keep going for a week.

  63. Comment by TheLurker | 04.8.2008 | 11:32 pm

    Avocado? Hmmm. No thanks.
    Dried apricots for me. No wrapping needed so no litter, easy to chew, don’t play hob with the digestion and they don’t go all mushy in the jersey pocket either.

  64. Comment by radirpok | 04.9.2008 | 1:27 am

    Avocado is great, but where can you get it in the middle of Europe? Definitely not in any “teeny-tiny grocery store”.
    So what is the European version of Avocado?

  65. Comment by Mike Roadie | 04.9.2008 | 3:23 am

    We passed $4000 for the LAF this past weekend…..that survey money would put us over $5K!!!

    Let’s do it!

  66. Comment by Mike Roadie | 04.9.2008 | 3:28 am

    What happened to PB and Banana sandwich?

    At least that tastes good……no great!

  67. Comment by Gumby | 04.9.2008 | 4:16 am

    Dang, the avocado lobbiests have even gotten to Fatty now. Is nothing sacred!!!

  68. Comment by Gumby | 04.9.2008 | 4:23 am

    My bad, no spellcheck, let’s try “lobbyists” instead.

  69. Comment by Frank | 04.9.2008 | 4:58 am

    Everybody in the world knows that peanutbutter and bannana sammies are the best fuel you can put in your body. I suppose you could substitute avacado for the bannana, but why bother? And I know bannanas are everywhere. Besides, they don’t have a big nut in the middle.

  70. Comment by Mocougfan | 04.9.2008 | 5:00 am

    Seriously nasty. Don’t know how you could even consider that. Avocado shakes and Ice Cream?!!!! I might just throw up right now.

  71. Comment by Johnny | 04.9.2008 | 6:23 am

    The beauty of reading all the comments is that I found many much better ideas from fellow commentors for a JPF. Thanks guys.

    But seriously, avocados on a hot Texas summer day after a 4 hour ride? What next, Fatty, beer in my water bottle for carb fuel?

  72. Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 04.9.2008 | 6:24 am

    Mmmmmm avocado.

    and I can’t believe mgr wrote you a limerick! How cool is that?

  73. Comment by Fish | 04.9.2008 | 6:49 am

    I’m all about the spam musubi. Fried spam, teriyaki sauce and rice all wrapped up in nori. I tried it last weekend and I’m a believer.

  74. Comment by CoworkerAlex | 04.9.2008 | 7:18 am

    Thank you Fatty, for my 15 minutes of fame. And now, if I might offer just 2 tips to the JPF:

    First, the best white bread for this purpose is Wonder Bread. Its foldable/moldable properties make it an excellent sealant, preventing squishing/leakage accidents in pockets. (In my non-biking life I never eat Wonder Bread; I purchase it strictly for the JPF.)

    Second, if you consume the JPF within 12 hours of making it, it never turns brown- another benefit of the Wonder Bread seal. But it you plan to eat it much later, you can add the simple precaution of smearing a teensy bit of lemon juice on the avocado slices with your forefinger.

    Lastly, I have tried a couple of the other alleged JPFs suggested in these comments. The Hostess fruit pie (I’m partial to lemon) provides an excellent boost, but wears off far more quickly than my JPF, and leaves you with that post-sugar-binge uneasiness in your stomach. And while I am a huge peanut butter fan (every morning on wheat toast for breakfast) it simply can’t be consumed enjoyably at anything over 60% of max heartrate.

  75. Comment by Mocougfan | 04.9.2008 | 8:06 am

    Coworker Alex. Please don’t give Fatty any more suggestions.

  76. Comment by KJ | 04.9.2008 | 8:45 am

    Ick. There isn’t a real “Alex”, right? This was your idea I bet. Come on, tell the truth.

  77. Comment by Tavis | 04.9.2008 | 9:11 am

    If only I had started shirking my work duties to read FC earlier, I would have beaten Alex to this. I was going to suggest squeezing a little lime juice on the avocado to prevent browning for longer ride. It will also bring out the flavor. yum.

  78. Comment by The Boston Creamer | 04.9.2008 | 10:15 am

    I tried this Avacodo sandwich thing but man, the pit kept jabbing me in the back. Now I have a lacerated kidney and other internal injuries, not to mention my new jersey is stained puke-green and smell like rotten fruit.
    Man, should have stayed with the Boston Cream donuts. At least they didn’t cause me to suffer renal failure.

  79. Comment by Mike from PA | 04.9.2008 | 10:29 am

    Oh…and just to make my digestive tract hate me even more, I secretly replaced my electrolyte drink with a Dairy Queen Cookies-n-Cream Blizzard. Now, on those really long hot rides, I can reach in my jersey pocket, pull-out a hot and sweaty Avacodo sandwich and wash it down with gut-twisting, e-coli festering milk product.

  80. Comment by Clydesteve | 04.9.2008 | 11:59 am

    I love avacados, and I will try this, but not sure if i can stomach the white bread. But i will be interested in your report, Fatty, of the condition this fruity concoction after 4 hours in the jersey pocket of a sweater.

    The great thing about this jpf is how quickly it could be made. for planned rides, where i have time to make a ‘better’ jpf, I make various panini sandwiches with cream cheese and regular cheese, and some deli ham, then toast it to melt the cheese and glue everything together, and wrap in tin foil, which is easy to unpackage.

    Alas, I am a very crummy signoir, so I rarely am together enough to do this. But the avacado thing – I am all over that like a green suit on Jim Carrey.

  81. Comment by blinddrew | 04.9.2008 | 12:32 pm

    Avocados are wrong.

  82. Comment by Terry | 04.9.2008 | 1:43 pm

    1 april fools joke per year, Fat Boy!

  83. Comment by cowboycramer | 04.9.2008 | 3:12 pm

    Great prerace breakfast: (for three-four people)

    3 bananas
    1 avocado
    some milk
    some ice
    a bit of sugar
    about a half cup of oatmeal if you want.
    Blenderize to smoothie like consistency.


  84. Comment by Debamundo | 04.9.2008 | 3:22 pm

    Sounds yummy.

    How hard is it to remember your bike is on your car? Maybe hard, I don’t know. I own neither a roof rack nor a garage. It just doesn’t seem like it would be so tough.

  85. Comment by getbent | 04.9.2008 | 3:43 pm

    If the UCI hadn’t banned avocados from races in 1934, they would have taken their proper place at the top of the JPF pantheon displacing the clearly inferior banana.

  86. Comment by Sedrik | 04.9.2008 | 4:35 pm

    besides my homemade mix of yams and honey, i like the Simbree energy bites… maple walnut is yum! i saw them at last years sea otter and they said they are going to be there again!

  87. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 04.9.2008 | 4:41 pm

    Man, I didn’t tell you about this when I first visited your blog 2 years ago because you seemed like a well informed individual who was completely up to date with all the latest cycling technology. Avocado sandwiches are older than indexed gears.

    The only advance on avocado sandwiches is a subtle yet powerful addition. It only works for people with your superpower. Or a castiron gut (which may be the source of your superpower). Add a slice or chunk of white meat. I’m talking chicken or turkey, not pork. The reason it only works for superpower gizzards is that mere mortal digestive systems seem to be overly responsive, and not in a good way, to room temperature white meat.

    Oh yeah, and some salt.

  88. Comment by Bluenoser | 04.9.2008 | 5:24 pm

    I am so going to try this. Thanks Fatty. And thanks to your pal.


  89. Comment by Grump | 04.9.2008 | 5:57 pm

    You seem to have forgotten the food item that provides all the major food groups……..Pizza! What would taste better, 50 miles into a 75 mile ride, than Pizza. Now, were not talking about cold Pizza. Were talking about 98.6 degree Pizza.
    What? You say, what about the mess?….Well, don’t you have to wash that jersey anyway??????
    You just have to remember to carry your extra tubes, tire levers, and CO2 gizmo in the other two pockets.
    Problem solved.

  90. Pingback by Best JPF « The NorLa Blog | 04.9.2008 | 6:37 pm

    [...] Jersey Pocket Food: Food you eat while riding your bike. According to the Fat Cyclist, the criteria -besides being food and fitting in a jersey pocket – are that it [...]

  91. Comment by airgod7 | 04.9.2008 | 7:54 pm

    whats not to like?!! I will have to try it.

  92. Comment by afzim | 04.9.2008 | 7:56 pm

    To David(vivid)
    No you’re not.

  93. Comment by ibisss | 04.9.2008 | 8:01 pm

    Let’s not leave out bacon as a suitable JPF. Or suitable anything. Bacon bacon bacon bacon.
    Nothing says hard core like cured meats. Jerky has got to be one of my favourite ride foods. YOu just need water. or a coke. but it is something you can definitely buy in the truckyest of truck stops and cigarettiest of tiny roadside corner stores.
    And, if you got a dehydrator for xmas like I did, you can make your own.
    MTB hall of famer Victor Vicente of America made his own owl jerky. And he is a hall of famer.
    bacon jerky bacon jerky bacon jerky.
    m burdge

  94. Comment by inka | 04.9.2008 | 10:59 pm

    mmm. avocados. people who don’t like them must be deficient in some kind of vitamin. And it must be found only in avocados…

    I’m all for the addition of salt though… and if you *did* add bacon you would be that much closer to one of my all time favorite foods… a blt with mayo and avocado on white bread. oh. just thinking about it… yeah, i say try adding salt in the form of bacon one time.

    Also, the european equivalent might have to be the Belgian powerbar…(my all time favorite food).. a ham and cheese sandwich.

  95. Comment by bikesgonewild | 04.10.2008 | 3:37 am

    …coupla folks weighed in w/ the few drops of lemon or lime juice to keep the avo from oxidizing (browning) & it adds to the flavor…
    …leetle pinch a’ salt for both flavor & sodium (sweat) replacement…now remember to drink yer water…

    …high natural potassium count, helps balance out electrolyte usage & thusly eliminating leg cramping…
    …small amount but enough protein to keep you going on a long ride but not so much as to bog ya down…
    …trace elements of plenty a’ vitamins & minerals…

    …but good god, man, experiment w/ different kinds a’ whole grain breads…some are refined enough for the purpose but have a much better nutritional value than that wonder bread crappola…

    …are you aware that literally everyone who has eaten wonder bread in their lifetime, has either died or will die ???…it’s a fact…

  96. Comment by Tyson | 04.10.2008 | 8:50 am

    I’ll be sticking to the “Canadian Power Bar”: 2 strips of Bacon (fried till its crispy) on piece of whole wheat bread, squished into a ball, and shoved into a plastic bag. Goes best with Canadian Sports Drink (ie. Beer).

    k, joking.

  97. Comment by doug | 04.10.2008 | 10:21 am

    yuck, sounds nasty

  98. Comment by judi | 04.10.2008 | 11:25 am

    Avacado and white bread sounds gross! I took your survey too.

  99. Comment by The Woulfes | 04.11.2008 | 6:13 am

    JPF-The best things ever are homemade.

    Here’s the thing about avocado wrapped in white bread. You need to put a little salt and a little lemon juice on the avocado. Lemmon juice keeps the avocado from turing a disgusting brown color

    However, the best JPF, is a slice of white bread. On one side put nutella, on the other a few slices of banana. Fold and wrap in foil.

    Also, jelly, peanut butter and marshmellow in white bread is a great source of calories on long rides

  100. Comment by Nige | 04.15.2008 | 4:08 am

    OK, so they are complete sugar – but I can fit 3 or 4 tubes into a jersey pocket to consume little and often. My wonder cycle food is the Maynard Wine Gum:

  101. Comment by Ian Hopper | 04.20.2008 | 3:21 pm

    One of my favorite sandwiches is a cheese (sharp cheddar, NY white cheddar is especially nice) heirloom tomato, mayo and avocado on sliced san francisco sourdough… I’d skip the mayo (the egg in it can go bad in the heat) and tomato (too much water)if I was going to put it in a baggie in my jersey (I always have an alternate way of carrying things, so I wouldn’t put it in my jersey anyway). Most people don’t realize that cheese doesn’t go bad very fast: it can deal with quite a few hours of non-refridgeration before it becomes a problem.. I would guess at least 12 if not more. Sourdough IS a white bread.. but it’s so much tastier than wonderbread. Toasted whole grain (like Ezekial) would be a good choice too… I’ll have to try some variants fatty!

  102. Comment by Gumby | 04.22.2008 | 7:11 am

    Ok, you got me…. I tried it and found myself wondering why I had put something that foul in my mouth. I toughed it out and ate the whole slice of bread wrapped around green mushy goo. I must admit that after I overcame the urge to wretch, I did feel a very small burst of energy but not enough to interest me in making another green cat poop sandwich.
    I’ll stick with GU as the perfect JPF. Although I’ll continue to read your blog and enjoy your humor, any further culinary recommendations will be ingored.

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