Mediating the Trek / Lemond Divorce

04.9.2008 | 3:00 pm

A Note from Fatty: I’ve got a new article at BikeRadar today. You can read a snippet below, or click here to read the whole thing.

Dear Trek Bicycle Corporation and Mr. Greg Lemond,

You don’t need me to tell you that this is a difficult time in your lives. After being married for so long, separating is unbelievably difficult for all parties involved. You’re both feeling hurt, perhaps even betrayed. It’s natural that you would want to strike out at each other.

With this in mind, I would like to commend the two of you for coming to me for mediation, rather than settling this in divorce court. By doing this, you’re showing you’re willing to behave like adults and move on with your respective lives.

Having taken a look at what matters to each of you, I would like to propose the following as a first step in the negotiation process. If everyone is up front about what really matters to them, and is willing to make reasonable compromises, this negotiation can be equitable and relatively painless.

What Trek Gets

  1. Lance Armstrong’s Peace of Mind: First and foremost, Trek receives a guarantee that Mr. Lemond will never ever ever ever use any combination of the words "Lance," "Armstrong," or "dope" (or any of their synonyms) within three minutes of each other. Not in public. Not in private. Not by doing charades or meaningfully-raised eyebrows. From now on, in fact, Mr. Lemond promises to pretend he has simply never heard of Lance Armstrong, and will act pleasantly surprised to hear that another American has also won the Tour de France. If Mr. Lemond crosses this line even once, Trek may — at its own expense — use whatever combination of shock therapy, hypnotherapy and surgery it deems necessary to literally remove any recollection of Armstrong from Mr. Lemonds memory.

Click here to continue Reading "Mediating the Trek / Lemond Divorce" over at


  1. Comment by Boz | 04.10.2008 | 4:51 am

    Your first suggestion was the main Trek concern. Greg just loved sticking that poker in the hornet’s nest. Didn’t he learn from others that you just don’t bad-mouth Lance and expect not to get pummeled by Lances goon squad ? I’ve alway like LeMond, but this was dumb, not to mention bad business.

  2. Comment by Paul | 04.10.2008 | 5:24 am

    What does Greg have in common with the Tour organizers? The continuous tendancy to shoot themselves in the foot.

    Lance let his legs do the talking, even if he doped, he still beat the dopers, which is similar to what Landis did.

  3. Comment by Flahute | 04.10.2008 | 5:46 am

    Too funny, but absolutely no semblance of reality.

    As such, I’ve posted a response from north of the Point of the Mountain … and remember: polygamy doesn’t work!

  4. Comment by Don ( | 04.10.2008 | 6:56 am

    Very nice Fatty, I liked this one a lot. Mind you, it was no Open Letter to Assos, but…
    By the way and speaking of Assos, check my blog today if you have a minute, I think you might just like it!

  5. Comment by Al Maviva | 04.10.2008 | 7:01 am

    As a rider, LeMond was great. As an ambassador for the sport…

    Well, he should be shot.


    They tried that?


    Hmmm… I’m kind of at a loss here. Maybe Trek should give him a blog so nobody will take him seriously ever again.

  6. Comment by Boz | 04.10.2008 | 7:07 am

    I don’t think LeMond intends any sort of malice w/his comments, I just think he is trying to protect the sport and keep the drug trarnish off of his legacy. I chatted with him at the Cheq 40 this last summer, and he seems likeable enough, no different than years ago.
    But, as happens a lot, I could be wrong.

  7. Comment by bikemike | 04.10.2008 | 8:12 am

    my girlfriend is going to court with her ex over child visitation rights, may we call you if we need your services?

  8. Comment by Epic Adam | 04.10.2008 | 9:24 am

    “he will be allowed to talk with Gary Fisher and begin to gather advice on how it’s possible to be completely insane, yet be regarded as an eccentric, beloved icon”

    Ha! That is one of your best lines yet Fatty.

  9. Comment by axel | 04.10.2008 | 12:13 pm

    “…willing to behave like adults…”
    these days that’s not what people involved in bike racing do, that’s for sure. Was there ever a time when they did?

  10. Comment by mark | 04.10.2008 | 1:20 pm

    What about all of us Lemond owners? What do we get out of the deal? Good thing I like my bike, because my resale value is now next to nothing. First the stock market, now this. What a year.

    Perhaps I should quit riding it in hopes that a penultimate model year Lemond-branded Trek will be worth something someday.

  11. Comment by fatty | 04.10.2008 | 1:43 pm

    mark, i have a lemond too. though i believe, under the terms of this agreement, it actually becomes a Gary Fisher now. But Greg’s allowed to see it on weekends

  12. Comment by Mike Roadie | 04.10.2008 | 2:17 pm

    I love it!!! Not to mention the picture of LeMond and Lance talking at the 1994 Tour de France—probably the last photo of them ever talking to directly to each other.

    I put an autographed Lance poster on eBay this week, with all proceeds to go to the LAF. Check it out: Lance Armstrong Autographed Poster


  13. Comment by TigerMouth61 | 04.10.2008 | 2:40 pm

    I’m a couple days late commenting, but I thought you should know about the MassBike Bike Festival + Pie Race. After the race, you get to eat Ribs and BBQ from Redbones.


    The Pie Race! presented by NEBC (6.5 miles)
    A short race against the clock with a unique twist: three “pie stops” (two along the way and one at the finish) where you will dismount your bike and eat a slice of pie! A test of not just your legs but your stomach, with excellent prizes to reward you for your daring. Please note the Pie Race is limited to the first 60 registrants, so sign up now! Click here for a press release from our first-ever Pie Race in 2005.

  14. Comment by Rocky | 04.10.2008 | 4:23 pm

    I first took interest in the Tour de France because of this great story about I have wondered why Mr. Lemond (All American Cycling Hero whose luster is diminishing with every Armstrong-related rant) has gone so far out of his way to malign Mr. Armstrong and his accomplishments. There is certainly room for both in American cycling history, and the successes of one do not eclipse the successes of the other. Greg did if first in two very gutsy performances, and that does not change, regardless of what Lance has done. That is, of course, unless Greg continues to chomp on sour grapes.

    Whatever the case, thanks for the long-overdue arbitration. With any luck he will see it and realize that he is being a little petty and that he looks foolish in doing so.

  15. Comment by bikesgonewild | 04.11.2008 | 1:33 am

    …re: gary fisher reference… “to be completely insane & yet be regarded as an eccentric, beloved icon”…

    …i know gary fisher & you, sir, are no gar* **…hmmm, wait a minute, i may be wrong here…is this a case of the pot calling the kettle black ???…or simply a hidden homage from one who studies at the knee of the master ???…

    …just speculatin’…

  16. Comment by Rob | 04.11.2008 | 4:38 am

    Amen! I’m so sick of hearing Greg Lemond whine on TV, I would never buy one of his bikes, because that would just encourage him. His logic appears to be I’m the best cyclist ever, so if someone wins a race, or does better than I did, they must be doping.

    Ever time an allegation if made, they roll out Lemond who, automatically assuming guilt, empores them to confess for the sancity of the support (and the further development of his ego).

    It’s sad, because he could have been a cherished U.S. cyclist.

  17. Comment by System6 | 04.11.2008 | 6:35 am

    Especially nice vintage, this article: Intellectual and witty, yet understated, with a distinct aroma of chamois lube. I think it will age well.

  18. Comment by eclaire | 04.11.2008 | 12:47 pm

    yo rocky! greg lemond chaps my chamois too, with his big mouth comments insinuating EVERYONE is doping, but he won the tdf three times, not twice. just the facts, ma’am


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