An Open Letter to CyclingNews.com

07.2.2008 | 4:07 pm

Dear CyclingNews.com,

First of all I just want to say: I’m a big fan. Especially around Tour de France time each year, when I follow your Live Race Coverage almost religiously. Your coverage is accurate, clear, and up-to-the minute.

But it’s also kind of dry.

What you need, CyclingNews, is some "color commentary." You know, a couple of guys who can add some personality to the play-by-play. A couple of guys who aren’t afraid to say what they’re thinking. A couple of guys who can type really fast, nonstop, for four hours straight.

I’m talking about, of course, my friend Dug and me.

You see, CyclingNews, I recently went back and watched an incredibly dramatic moment from the 2003 Tour de France: Stage 9, Bourg d’Oisans to Gap. Here it is on YouTube:

Pretty wild, isn’t it? But your stage reporting is…um…terse. So, Dug and I took the liberty of adding our own commentary. Kind of like we were Bob Roll, but there are two of us, and we work for a lot less money.

Below, we’ve taken your reporting, and added our own comments, exactly as we would have five years ago when this actually happened.

CN: 16:39 CEST, 175.5 km/9 km to go – Vinokourov’s attack is good, catching and dropping Casero and closing in on Parra and Jaksche, who are now together.

Vinokourov powers up to Parra and Jaksche and attacks immediately. Jaksche tries to hold him, and does.

Fatty: Well, what do you know. Vino’s attacking. How unusual.

Dug: I’m pretty sure he just gave Armstrong “The Look.”

Fatty: I guarantee you that Armstrong is going to sue Vino for trademark infringement. Nobody gets to give people "The Look" but him.

Fatty: I’ll bet you anything that Vinokourov’s a doper.

Dug: Why are Armstrong and company chasing so hard? I mean, who is this Vino guy? Isn’t he from Kazakhstan?

Hey. I just had a great idea for a movie about a guy from there. It’ll be a big comedy hit..

CN: 16:42 CEST    176.5 km/8 km to go - Armstrong and Heras are leading the peloton in pursuit of Vinokourov and Jaksche, who can’t hold the charging Kazakh any more. Vino has 20" with 1 km to go until the summit.

Vino crosses the top of the Côte de La Rochette, as Armstrong steps up the pace behind. Beloki, Ullrich, Basso, Mayo, Zubeldia all go with him. Armstrong’s pace making is good, but he’s still got 10 riders with him.

Dug: Really? Only twenty inches? That’s not much of an attack, if you ask me.

Fatty: You know what? I think Beloki ought to check his tire. It looks a little soft to me. And I think the pavement looks kind of oily.

Dug: No, I’m telling you, Beloki is a master descender.

Fatty: Hey, Basso just chucked out a banana peel. That doesn’t seem right.

Dug: No, I guarantee you: Armstrong couldn’t pick a better wheel to follow.

Fatty: How about that Basso? Betcha he’s a doper.

Dug: I’m pretty sure Ullrich just emptied a bottle full of cooking oil onto the road. Is that legal?

Fatty: Betcha Ullrich’s a doper, too.

Dug: Oh, this is terrific stuff. It’s like the old days, when riders would do anything to win. I once saw Merckx put a live scorpion down a competitor’s jersey.

CN: 16:45 CEST,  177.5 km/7 km to go -  Vino hits the descent with a 16" gap to Armstrong’s group, as the yellow jersey himself leads the chase. Beloki is also helping, as he is in second on GC. Bettini is on the back of the group, that contains all the top riders. Even Jaksche is hanging on.

Vinokourov took the points on the climb ahead of Armstrong, Beloki, Zubeldia and Mayo.

Fatty: If Beloki really wants to win, he ought to take the corners really fast. I understand hot pavement is awesome for improving traction.

Dug: Mayo seems a bit, well, temperamental doesn’t he?

Fatty: Totally. I bet you anything he’s a doper.

Dug: I expect great things from Mayo. You wait and see. He’ll be a great TdF GC contender for years to come.

Fatty: Did you notice that Armstrong is riding with tires that have surprisingly robust tread today?

Dug: Like cross tires.

Fatty: Yeah. Weird.

Dug: Seems like a bad move. What could possibly be the advantage?

Fatty: It makes no sense at all.

CN: 16:47 CEST    178.5 km/6 km to go - Beloki and Armstrong are leading the chase behind Vinokourov, who is flying with 6 km to go. This will be a close finish, but there is a 20" time bonus on the line… Look out for Bettini.

Dug: What kind of name is “Beloki” anyway?

Fatty: Yeah, it sounds like a sound effect. Like the sound a body makes when it hits the pavement at high speed, breaking bones and tangling with metal in the process. I’d rather have a last name like “Winsalot.”

Dug: Is Betinni officially a midget? he’s like 4 feet tall.

Fatty: I think they prefer to be referred to as “Adorable People.”

Dug: Is he riding on 20” wheels?

Fatty: Hey, you know how you can tell when Vinokourov is going to attack?

Dug: Tell me.

Fatty: If it’s been at least 3 minutes since his last attack.

Dug: I’m telling you, he should be checked for rabies. Seriously. I think he’s foaming at the mouth.

Fatty: Beloki’s looking good. That guy’s a solid rider.

Dug: Someone should tell those fans alongside the road that you’re not supposed to spray Pam all over it.

CN: 16:48 CEST, 180.5 km/4 km to go – This is a very technical descent, and Vino has lost a couple of seconds to Armstrong’s group on it. But he’s still clear. One mistake will cost him the stage.

Beloki loses it! Armstrong has to go down the grass embankment, taking a short cut. He amazingly gets back onto the group. Beloki is out though. He locked up his brakes just before a corner, and landed heavily on his hip.

Dug: Woah!

Dug: I mean: Woah!

Dug: Did you SEE that girl on the side of the road? She was HOT!

Fatty: Get up, Beloki. Shake it off. You’re fine. You think this race is going to win itself?

Dug: Merckx would be back up already. In fact, Merckx would have taken Armstrong down with him, bitten him, then taken his bike and ridden off.

Fatty: I’m just glad there’s a cyclist’s code, where everyone always stops to help an injured rider.

Dug: Yeah, look for Vino to slow up any second.

Fatty: I think Armstrong is just riding around in that field looking for first aid supplies.

Dug: How on earth did Armstrong manage that little cross country jaunt? No normal human being could possibly have ridden down that field, jumped off the bike, climbed over that embankment, and gotten back on the road. It’s like he’s had special forces training.

Fatty: I only hope they replay this moment on TV over and over for all eternity so that it gets burned into my psyche and I can never ever ever descend down a fast mountain road without having the image of Beloki go all ragdoll play through my brain.

Dug: What’s weird is that Tyler Hamilton pulled three muscles just witnessing the crash. And maybe broke a collarbone.

Fatty: Hamilton. Pfff. That guy’s totally a doper.

Dug: I’m pretty sure I heard Beloki’s femur crack from way up here in the booth.

Fatty: Merckx would have made a splint from one of his teammate’s top tubes and would be on the attack now.

CN: 16:50 CEST, 181.5 km/3 km to go - Beloki has two teammates with him, but is still lying there. That was a hard crash.

Vino has 3 km to go, and is certainly not going to wait for the rest.

Fatty: I don’t think the crash was that hard.

Dug: Yeah, Beloki is just milking it.

Fatty: If Armstrong had fallen, the entire peloton would have come to a complete stop out of respect, then withdrawn twenty paces to await instructions.

CN: 16:51 CEST - Ullrich, Hamilton , Armstrong, Zubeldia, Mayo are all working hard to try and catch Vinokourov. Behind them, Beloki still hasn’t got back up.

The gap to Vino is now 30."

Dug: Beloki STILL isn’t up?

Fatty: I think he may be napping.

Dug: What a baby.

Fatty: No doubt about it. He needs a good talking to.

CN: 16:51 CEST, 183.5 km/1 km to go - Vinokourov has 1 km to go, and is on track for a great stage win in a dramatic finale.

Armstrong will thank his lucky stars that he avoided that crash somehow.

Dug: Armstrong has lucky stars?

Fatty: Oh, that Vinokourov is such a doper.

Dug: No yellow moons? No blue diamonds?

Fatty: I’m beginning to think that beloki’s podium finish is in danger for this tour.

Dug: Seems like he could have at least crossed the line.

Fatty: Oh well, I’m sure he’ll be back next year, stronger than ever. He’s going to be a force to be reckoned with.

CN: 16:53 CEST, 184.5 km/0 km to go - Vinokourov crosses the line, absolutely delighted with his win. Behind him, Bettini flies to take second place in front of Mayo and Armstrong.

Vino will move up to second on GC behind Armstrong, with Mayo in third now at 1′02.

Beloki has been taken away in an ambulance after locking it up on that last descent. A sad exit for him for this Tour, which held a lot of promise. But Vinokourov put them under a lot of pressure with his attack. Armstrong’s handling skills were pretty impressive to avoid that, and he was lucky there were no fences when he went cross country. Hamilton even patted him on the shoulder when they passed him after he’d got back in the pedals.

Dug: Hamilton TOUCHED Armstrong?

Fatty: I just saw the replay of where Hamilton touches Armstrong’s shoulder. HAMILTON’S ARM COMPLETELY FALLS OFF.

Dug: That’s going to adversely affect his sprint.

Fatty: Oh well. Anyway, that was a pretty good stage.

Dug: Yeah, I suppose.

As you can see, CyclingNews, we have a great deal of insight to add to your race coverage. We look forward to working with you as you cover the Tour de France this month.

Kind Regards,

 

The Fat Cyclist

81 Comments

  1. Comment by Duane | 07.2.2008 | 4:19 pm

    1. Special Forces training – classic.
    2. I’m already freaked out about my front wheel coming off on a decent. Now this. thanks.

  2. Comment by tim | 07.2.2008 | 4:22 pm

    can i say podium???? i love the tdf by the way, I can’t help it……

  3. Comment by BellaCroix | 07.2.2008 | 4:23 pm

    I read it, even missed out on the podium because I then had to watch the video from YouTube of Lance crashing, getting back on the bike, almost castrating himself on the toptube after losing a pedal, then getting back in the attack and taking lead…

    That dude’s amazing.

  4. Comment by Lori | 07.2.2008 | 4:30 pm

    Yes – I read the whole thing. I’m a little OCD that way. I totally think you guys need this assignment!!

  5. Comment by ann | 07.2.2008 | 4:32 pm

    nope, didn’t read the whole thing. But the part I read was really, really entertaining.

  6. Comment by Wes | 07.2.2008 | 4:37 pm

    Wha? We’re supposed to read these things? I just come by for the pretty pictures….

  7. Comment by bob | 07.2.2008 | 4:39 pm

    yep, read the whole thing, half out loud to my wife. I don’t think she appreciated it as much as I did.

  8. Comment by kentucky joe | 07.2.2008 | 4:55 pm

    I would subscribe to your coverage…brilliant

  9. Comment by mgr | 07.2.2008 | 4:58 pm

    I read the whole thing but skipped the video.

  10. Comment by lisa | 07.2.2008 | 4:58 pm

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    I love July!

    I love the TDF!

    But. I HATE THAT VIDEO!!! OH MAN, it is hotter than a team car crossing the border with doping products for their dogs and wives and stuff — I mean, it’s over 100 F here — and you had to go remind me of that again! Thanks. :)

    Tomorrow I expect to see the one where Lance catches the musette bag and lands hard, ouch. At least I usually don’t have to worry about that situation happening…!

  11. Comment by lisa | 07.2.2008 | 4:59 pm

    Rats, I was gonna add something about a long comment, but then I forgot. So here’s a short comment to go with my last long one.

    :)

  12. Comment by Hamish A | 07.2.2008 | 4:59 pm

    Classic! I think they should hire you guys to do the commentary for all Sporting events. I reckon you could even make Cricket interesting. Slightly. Maybe. Ok, probably not – but you’d make it funny! (I’m pretty sure he’s a Doper).

    Watching that TdF footage brought a couple of things back:

    1) Why was that bystander so determined to get that water bottle in shot by Belokis head? I mean… I understand sponsorship but there’s a time and a place for Product Placement.

    2) How many different ways can Phil say Vinos name? (I counted 3 – see how many YOU can get!)

    3) Lance rocks.

    And finally:

    4) Paul will not often get a word in edgeways when Phil is in full flow.

    Thanks for the belly laugh before bedtime. I look forward to seeing you and Dug reporting on Vs / OLN etc very soon!

  13. Comment by judi | 07.2.2008 | 5:00 pm

    I did not read it all.

  14. Pingback by sideoats + scribbles » It’s almost time for… | 07.2.2008 | 5:02 pm

    [...] To help you get in the mood, you gotta check out Fatty’s blog. [...]

  15. Comment by GraemeW | 07.2.2008 | 5:03 pm

    So Fatty, are you and Dug up to doing this type of stuff for 22 days with only 2 rest days ?

    A supreme programmer like youself should be able to suck in the cyclingnews feed and augment it in real time
    and republish on fatcyclist.com

    It would certainly make the 47 sprinter stages in this years tour more interesting.

  16. Comment by Tim | 07.2.2008 | 5:05 pm

    Just as you would have written it five years ago – uncanny ability to spot the dopers. Did you have Landis pegged back then too?
    If CN hired you guys I would forgo the televised Tour and just read your commentary!

  17. Comment by profette | 07.2.2008 | 5:28 pm

    That was brilliant! Just when I thought I couldn’t laugh any harder it got more hilarious. I read the whole thing!

  18. Comment by bikemike | 07.2.2008 | 5:38 pm

    if you play the video in super-duper-looper-slow-mo, Lance de-glues Beloki’s tubular. he was actually trying to drop the de-glue-your -tubular thingy in the weeds.

  19. Comment by UphillBattle | 07.2.2008 | 5:46 pm

    Fatty–thanks for the chuckle! I read every word!

  20. Comment by mocougfan | 07.2.2008 | 6:01 pm

    Fellas… that was seriously hellarious.

  21. Comment by Don | 07.2.2008 | 6:04 pm

    I hear touching Lance is like touching the Arc of the Covenant…
    “Hamiltons arm completely falls off”

  22. Comment by System6 | 07.2.2008 | 6:22 pm

    Better yet, and I mean MUCH BETTER YET, would be to get Fatty and Dug to replace the announcers who do the US stuff on Versus. Watching the US Pro in Philly, there’s an attractive woman (not sure if she’s ever ridden a bike) and an extremely deep-voiced guy who sounds like he just got done voicing over scare ads for one presidential candidate or another. The back and forth is filled with really spectacular cycling insight:

    Cute Girl: “Look, they’re going very fast. Why is that?”

    Deep Throat: “Because they’re traveling at high speed. And look at the form of Johnny Spindlelegs from Neva-Herdadat Team. He’s rocking those shoulders back and forth, just like you’re sposed to.”

    Cute Girl: “He’s cute.”

    Deep Throat: “But he’ll have us all in nuclear winter before you can say bang!”

    Cute Girl: “What?”

    Deep Throat: “Oops, wrong script.”

    Please Dug and Fatty, for the love of God and all that’s good, put them out of our misery!

  23. Comment by RockLobster | 07.2.2008 | 6:26 pm

    My co-workers are looking at me funny because I’m laughing at my computer screen and…oops…fell over backward. Good stuff.

  24. Comment by MonsieurM | 07.2.2008 | 6:27 pm

    Wow, this one goes in your all-time best of. Great text!

  25. Comment by Richard | 07.2.2008 | 7:03 pm

    Loved it, can’t wait for the tour to start…..

  26. Comment by Mike Roadie | 07.2.2008 | 7:21 pm

    Phil’s a doper

  27. Comment by Born4Lycra | 07.2.2008 | 7:27 pm

    Dug for me was a standout. Insightful, clever, informed, accurate and observant. I went back to the video to check out the hot chick on the side of the road! All this and he was still able to carry the heavy bloke.
    Magic stuff gentlemen. If they employed you your salary should be way up in the plentysixes!

  28. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 07.2.2008 | 8:05 pm

    I’m just glad I never ride on “bitumen”, that stuff will kill you.

    Hey was that the year where after the Tour, Rumsas’ wife got busted with EPO and a bunch of other stuff trying to cross the boarder out of France? Then the French held her and said they would release her if Rumsas came to talk to them, but he never came. After about 3 months, even the French were embarrassed by Rumsas letting his wife rot in jail for him, and they let her go.

    I think that’s my favorite TdF story ever. It’s either that or the one where Wim VanEst was wearing the Yellow Jersey of the Tour’s leader when he missed a turn on a mountain descent. He fell/slid for several hundred feet; most people said he was lucky to survive. As the peleton was riding by, one of the riders noted that Wim looked like “a buttercup in the field.”

  29. Comment by Bandit | 07.2.2008 | 8:35 pm

    Wonderful! Loved the Merckx stuff.

    And “If Armstrong had fallen, the entire peloton would have come to a complete stop out of respect, then withdrawn twenty paces to await instructions.”

    Wonderful!

  30. Comment by Marla | 07.2.2008 | 8:37 pm

    Loved it! I would definitely pay attention to the Tour if y’all were involved!

  31. Comment by Dobovedo | 07.2.2008 | 9:49 pm

    “Dug: Really? Only twenty inches? That’s not much of an attack, if you ask me.”

    hahahahahaha.

    now every time I read one of those time gaps I’m gonna laugh all over. still laughing…. tears!

  32. Comment by Catri | 07.2.2008 | 11:07 pm

    I think I just about wet myself from laughing so hard while reading this…

    Add a little Bobke to the mix and it would be perfect…

  33. Comment by Yvette Z. | 07.2.2008 | 11:30 pm

    By far the funniest thing I’ve heard this week. Classic. Thank you!!!!

  34. Comment by Swedoz | 07.3.2008 | 12:13 am

    Can’t wait for the online commentary over the next month.

  35. Comment by Wild Dingo | 07.3.2008 | 12:27 am

    You and Dug are so funny! Pfffh. You’re both probably dopers…

  36. Comment by Big Mike in Oz | 07.3.2008 | 12:42 am

    I can’t believe neither of you picked up on the true cause of the crash and the broken bone. The whole thing happened in completely the reverse order to how it was reported in the media.

    Beloki glanced back at Armstrong as they approached the corner. Armstrong interpreted the glance as a “look” and unleashed his brand new “super look”.

    Fortunately for Beloki the super look only caught him a glancing blow to the upper thigh. That sucker was completely untried in the field and later testing showed that at that range, a direct hit to the sunglasses (non Oakley of course) could be fatal.

    As it was it shattered the femur, thus causing the fall and subsequent crosscountry outing by Armstrong. The super look showed its multipurpose nature when Armstrong carved himself a smooth course through the countryside to rejoin the race further down the mountain. And on his own terms. The Boss indeed.

  37. Comment by Danny | 07.3.2008 | 12:54 am

    That was Brillant

  38. Comment by Orbea Girl | 07.3.2008 | 7:27 am

    You guys should definitely be the commentators for the entire English speaking tour coverage, including cycling tv.

  39. Comment by sans auto | 07.3.2008 | 7:41 am

    The commentary by cycling news was painful. The commentary by Fatty and dug took the attention off of what was really happening and sort of eased the pain, sort of like ibuprofen… or a narcotic. hmmmmm.

  40. Comment by Boz | 07.3.2008 | 7:55 am

    Will you guys pronounce it “Tour De France” or the Bobke prefered “Tour Day France”? Could only enhance the experience for us veiwers at home.

  41. Comment by jenni | 07.3.2008 | 8:04 am

    holy cow that was funny. like my face hurts from laughing funny.

  42. Comment by Bonzai Buckaroo | 07.3.2008 | 8:16 am

    ALL OF THE ABOVE. ONE OF YOUR BEST. EVER.

  43. Comment by Lowrydr | 07.3.2008 | 8:31 am

    Psssst! wanna buy some untraceable dope!

    That must have hurt your brain thinking all that up. Man was that a good read.

    Win Susan Win

  44. Comment by Blue | 07.3.2008 | 8:53 am

    Sweet Post! Thoroughly enjoyed it!

    WIN SUSAN!

  45. Comment by Andrew | 07.3.2008 | 9:24 am

    hahahahaha that was awesome.

  46. Comment by jsv | 07.3.2008 | 9:29 am

    “Hamilton’s arm completely falls off” are you kidding me! where do you guys get this stuff? I can’t stop laughing.

    Best post yet.

    JSV

  47. Comment by cyclostu | 07.3.2008 | 9:31 am

    Good stuff. I hope you guys get the call up to the “Big Show”.

    Also, there’s no doubt that you do a better job than Al Trautwig and Bob Roll on the Vs Network TV coverage. They are TERRIBLE! I’d rather listen to commentary by Oprah and John Tesh with background music by Yanni than have to listen to Trautwig say “Lance Armstrong!” 3 or 4 times per sentence and Roll say “LAY Tour DAY France”. I hate those guys.

    LONG LIVE PHIL LIGGETT AND PAUL SHERWIN!!

  48. Comment by Walter | 07.3.2008 | 9:33 am

    Brilliant! I think this should become a regular feature — assuming Cyclingnews and/or Velonews aren’t too touchy about “repurposing” their content. How ’bout a Floyd stage from ‘06, given Monday’s news?

  49. Comment by Jay Peitzer | 07.3.2008 | 9:45 am

    I understand that Cycling News wants you to spice up all of their coverage with your insightful 20/20 hindsight. Of course you’ll have to do every stage in great detail….even the ones that put you to sleep. If you start with the 1999 TDF you should be able to catch up……..never.

  50. Comment by Jay Peitzer | 07.3.2008 | 9:54 am

    Luckily that wasn’t televised on Wide World of Sports it would have been the new “agony of defeat” as though watching that poor skier kamakazie every week wasn’t bad enough.

  51. Pingback by NorCal Cycling News » Blog Archive » 48 hours | 07.3.2008 | 10:26 am

    [...] FatCyclist – this is the cat we shouted out ‘hellyeah’ to at the track awhile back. so good. so, [...]

  52. Comment by Heatherann | 07.3.2008 | 10:31 am

    They should totally hire you.

  53. Comment by SurlyCommuter | 07.3.2008 | 11:20 am

    Are we expected to believe that the two of you could be so funny without the aide of humor enhancing drugs? Please Fatty, come clean! What is it – Ho-Ho’s, Laffy Taffy, excessive use of Whatchamacallit?

  54. Comment by KT | 07.3.2008 | 11:24 am

    Boy, you had a good set-up in mentioning Lance’s beefy tire choice, and then didn’t even touch it in the cross-county jaunt! He had it all planned in advance, it was his new Super Look (Le Tigre! Blue Steel!) that created the opportunity for him to shortcut the course!

    Brilliant, dug and Fatty. You guys should do more TdF commentation.

    And Hamish: I snorted coffee on my keyboard. Funny stuff.

    And this is why I don’t *listen* to the commentating when I watch bike races on TV. I make up my own in my head, or out loud when something goes wonky (like, “Oh, snap! Did you SEE that! That’s GOTTA hurt!”)

    :) Susan, I hope Fatty’s making you laugh, too!

    WIN!!

  55. Comment by hombredebicycle | 07.3.2008 | 12:01 pm

    You rock!
    :)

  56. Comment by Clydesteve | 07.3.2008 | 12:17 pm

    Good job, boys. I eally laughed at the 20″ means inches vs. seconds stuff. It was as if Dug was channeling Bob Roll.

    Have you considered doing this with Bob Roll in the booth, and then making fun of him in real time? It would go over his head, but would be hilarious.

  57. Comment by Jay Peitzer | 07.3.2008 | 1:19 pm

    Earlier today Patrice Clerc Executive Director of Amory Sports Organization officially banned Fatty and Dug from reporting on any past present or future Tours De France. Clerc said that this decision was based on the fact that neither man took the Tour or ASO seriously enough. Clerc added that although ASO has no power to enforce this decision or in fact any way of knowing whether the ban is being upheld he is sure that everyone will just go along with it because after all they are the ASO and well…French and everyone in cycling has pretty much gone along with everything they’ve wanted for years.

  58. Comment by cyclingeurope | 07.3.2008 | 1:34 pm

    hilarious – you made my day! May I put a link to this on my blog? It’s got way too serious stuff on the Tour and needs some lightening up! http://cyclingeurope.wordpress.com

  59. Comment by Tim D | 07.3.2008 | 2:40 pm

    Well certaintly, you are not a patch on David Duffield and Sean Kelly. Where was the discusion of the previous nights meal, or the regional wine, or the local speciality food, or reciting the war poems of Sigfreid Sassoon, or the anecdotes about how you where stationed in the area during the war, or the Cathar heresy or a million and one other things njothing to do with cycling.

    We are lucky (?) to get both Eurosport drivel and (former) President Phil’s coverage. I tend towards Duffers just for the comedy value. I’ve searched YouTube to try and confirm it, but I am sure for the same clip you show, Duffers was discussing the time he accidentally put diesel in his tank instead of unleaded, missing the incident all together.

  60. Comment by PrimalOdyssey | 07.3.2008 | 3:33 pm

    Simply Outstanding commentary from the lads! Where do you get this gold from, or should we call it oil these days.

  61. Comment by ShedBiker | 07.3.2008 | 7:19 pm

    I like the photo of the Brats. Looks Yummy.

  62. Comment by Jaime O. | 07.3.2008 | 7:58 pm

    omg…lollllllllllll

  63. Comment by Seth Dillingham | 07.3.2008 | 8:07 pm

    Bah! I didn’t ever want to see that crash again. Bad fatty!

    On the other hand, I got your site listed on alltop today. The cycling.alltop.com section should go live tonight, and you’re there.

  64. Comment by bikesgonewild | 07.4.2008 | 2:58 am

    …so, hey, where is that tour de france anyway ???…

    …yerup er somethin’ ???…

  65. Comment by Lisa | 07.4.2008 | 9:25 pm

    Oh, now I’m really in the mood! For the tour! Loved it…hilarious!!!

    I remember watching it live…oh, ouch, OMG, what the…, holy sh**!!, is Lance ok?!…

    Can’t wait for more commentary!

  66. Comment by Bluenoser | 07.6.2008 | 4:16 am

    I liked the part where Beloki’s team mate was interviewed by Versus at the end of the stage. Asked if Beloki had anything to say he said no that the last he had seen him he was lying on the floor crying. That was the whole interview.

    -B

  67. Comment by Little1 | 07.6.2008 | 7:11 am

    all i can say is rather tune in to velonews.com…. that guy at least has a sense of humour!

  68. Comment by Di | 07.6.2008 | 12:56 pm

    You know, we could really use another cable channel! ;-) FCN – Fat Cyclist Network.

  69. Comment by Paul | 07.6.2008 | 6:40 pm

    omg you guys are hilarious. thank you so much =)

  70. Comment by buckythedonkey | 07.7.2008 | 7:16 am

    Woohoo! 2XL please!

    Oh bloody hell, I’m a day early. :-(

  71. Comment by Tejvan Pettinger | 07.7.2008 | 8:52 am

    You should hear David Duffields commentary on Eurosport, absolutely classic. Most exciting moment of the tour and he’s probably talking about the local wines of the regions and how he enjoyed a very nice bottle of beaujolais the previous evening. But, boy can those guys talk.

  72. Comment by Ron | 07.7.2008 | 9:49 pm

    Hey, I tagged you in a game. Here’s the link

  73. Comment by Lyndon | 07.8.2008 | 4:21 am

    Hey Fatty,

    Great post. I just kept getting an image of Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets in my head.

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    you guys forgot to say the most important thing:

    Armstrong is the biggest dopper of the whole peloton.

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  81. Pingback by that which rolls » Blog Archive » The Tour. The Tour. | 12.23.2008 | 2:02 pm

    [...] An Open Letter to CyclingNews.com (Fat Cyclist) [...]

 

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