390 Calories

02.24.2009 | 9:55 am

Consider the humble Jell-o Sugar-Free Snack container:


Deliciously lime-flavored. A delightful treat any time of the day. And only ten calories.

Now, consider this:


Thirty-nine of them, carefully stacked.

That giant pyramid of food is only 390 calories.

It makes you wonder: what if you had a day where you ate nothing but Sugar-Free Jello? Suppose you managed to eat 150 of them. You’d be full to the point of bursting all day.

And you still wouldn’t have consumed more than 1500 calories.

It’s just a thought. Silly conjecture and speculation. I would never consider actually doing this.

Of course I wouldn’t.


  1. Comment by steventoby | 02.24.2009 | 11:50 am

    Of course you would!

  2. Comment by Gillian | 02.24.2009 | 11:52 am

    Allow me to completely miss the point of your post and say – dude, I love your decorating. Those built-ins are drool worthy.

    You are going to ruin Jello for yourself forever.

  3. Comment by Jay | 02.24.2009 | 11:52 am

    That much aspartame would kill me.

  4. Comment by Jeff | 02.24.2009 | 11:53 am

    150 sugar free jellos in one day…that can’t be good for your insides.

  5. Comment by KanyonKris | 02.24.2009 | 11:54 am

    Poison Control on speed dial?

  6. Comment by Sean | 02.24.2009 | 11:55 am

    I volunteer to take one for the team.

  7. Comment by Eric P | 02.24.2009 | 11:56 am

    Is there any nutritional value whatsoever in jello?

  8. Comment by bikemike | 02.24.2009 | 11:56 am

    video, please.

  9. Comment by cheapie | 02.24.2009 | 12:03 pm

    sweet! it can be crazy fatty diet time now?

  10. Comment by dug | 02.24.2009 | 12:05 pm

    jump jump jump jump jump

  11. Comment by Dutch Girlie On a Bike | 02.24.2009 | 12:07 pm

    Take pictures when you do!

  12. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 02.24.2009 | 12:10 pm

    I’m thinking a diet jello/raisin juice diet is just the ticket.

  13. Comment by MikeonhisBike | 02.24.2009 | 12:10 pm

    You live in Utah right. By law I believe you are required to eat carrot shavings with your jello aren’t you? That would mess up your whole diet for the day.


  14. Comment by KanyonKris | 02.24.2009 | 12:10 pm

    If it makes you sick it will be an awesome Technicolor yawn.

  15. Comment by pipebaum | 02.24.2009 | 12:11 pm

    Sounds like another Fatty LAF challenge. I am in for $10. Need pictures, time-lines and results (hurl or no hurl).

  16. Comment by kenny | 02.24.2009 | 12:15 pm

    what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger

  17. Comment by KanyonKris | 02.24.2009 | 12:17 pm

    … or chronically ill, scarred for life, maimed.

  18. Comment by Katie | 02.24.2009 | 12:25 pm

    This post feels like a Biggest Loser product placement. Cue the bit on how Yoplait gives you all the energy you need and how Extra curbs those snack cravings.

  19. Comment by Joe Biker | 02.24.2009 | 12:27 pm

    You sure you didn’t have a “close encounter” and that’s not a study sculpture of Devils Tower?

  20. Comment by Big Boned | 02.24.2009 | 12:28 pm

    Posh…eating 150 of those in a day isn’t any REAL challenge for someone who thinks they can do Leadville exclusively on Margharita Shot Bloks. To increase the level of difficulty (and viewer interest) I suggest you go with only two flavors. One of which you would “chew” on the left side of your mouth, the other on the right. Could you be so skilled as to have a two-toned tongue at the end of the day.

  21. Comment by drakeman | 02.24.2009 | 12:35 pm

    Thanks Fatty, now I have to go buy jello (and yes, I did sing the j-e-l-l-o song as I typed the letters).

  22. Comment by paz | 02.24.2009 | 12:35 pm

    Fact: Utah leads the nation in per capita Jello consumption

  23. Comment by Kt | 02.24.2009 | 12:35 pm

    I have only one thing to say.


    I mean, I like Jello, don’t get me wrong– just not the orange ones.

    And carrots totally ruin a good Jello.

  24. Comment by Bandobras. | 02.24.2009 | 12:44 pm

    Water, Gelatin, Adipic Acid (for Tartness), Sodium Citrate (Controls Acidity), Citric Acid (for Tartness), Aspartame and Acesulfame Potassium (Sweeteners), Salt, Natural and Artificial Flavor, Yellow 6, Yellow 5, Blue 1, Red 40.

    Water,gelatin,citric acid, and salt are the only things in this that can in any way be considered food.
    As for the chemistry experiment your left with good luck.
    I know Adipic Acid for instance is used in the production of plastics.
    If you ate 150 of these it’s quite possible you would never decompose. If only Ted Williams had known.

  25. Comment by WheelDancer | 02.24.2009 | 12:46 pm

    Hey Fatty, great to see the blue chair in place but then perhaps I missed the update when the red one actually left.

    As for the Jello, it looks like someone is facing the colonoscopy diet for the first time. Having had the pleasure of the pure Jello diet, I can assure you that in fact you cannot eat enough Jello to ever be to the point of “bursting” though you will get to the point of “dashing” to the restroom.

  26. Comment by Mike | 02.24.2009 | 12:59 pm

    Artificial sweeteners … yech!

  27. Comment by getinlost | 02.24.2009 | 1:02 pm

    To kanyonkris, It’ not called “scarred for life” anymore it is now known as “character building”.


  28. Comment by Clydesteve | 02.24.2009 | 1:07 pm

    It would only be worth watching if you dumped all of the Jellos into the tub, then stuck your head in and sucked until they were gone.

    Lime is my favorite.

  29. Comment by KanyonKris | 02.24.2009 | 1:08 pm

    getinlost – oh, yes, how foolish of me to forget my ephamisms.

  30. Comment by Myrnie | 02.24.2009 | 1:22 pm

    Aww man- don’t do it! Take it from someone who remembers all too well the horror of eating nothing but Jell-O and cottage cheese after I had my wisdom teeth out.

  31. Comment by Tom in georgia | 02.24.2009 | 1:28 pm

    Throw in some sugar free cool whip and I’m there dude!!!!

  32. Comment by Jason Griese | 02.24.2009 | 1:39 pm

    I had a test done and could only eat green jello and chicken broth , I hit the deli and got 5lbs of finger jello . Hope I never have to do that again

  33. Comment by TomE | 02.24.2009 | 1:52 pm

    whatever you do Fatty…please make sure to include your blow torch in your experiment!!!

  34. Comment by Lana | 02.24.2009 | 2:10 pm

    I find it totally weird that Fatty posted this on Paczki day here in Michigan – day before Lenten tradition of getting all the sugar and fats out of the kitchen means they make a jelly filled dough ball that has about 450 calories in it… MORE than all that jello combined


  35. Comment by Rubyblue | 02.24.2009 | 2:13 pm

    On topic: I refuse to eat jello. I just can’t do it.

    Off topic: Some scum of the earth targeted David Zabriskie’s house while he was racing the tour of california and all but cleared him out. While you search the net, please be on the look out for these stolen items.

  36. Comment by Marianne | 02.24.2009 | 2:54 pm

    Off topic – this is my first time commenting, Fatty! I’ve been a fan of your site for a week, woo hoo! However, I won’t eat sugar-free jello to celebrate. Aspartame is vile and I stay far away. Here’s a fun fact I found on wikipedia regarding aspartame: Insulin resistance and weight gain

    Some aspartame critics, particularly those in weight loss communities, claim that aspartame contributes to weight gain and obesity due to purported spikes in the insulin level. The argument holds that the taste of sweetness or perhaps some chemical peculiarity of aspartame causes the body to secrete excess insulin even though aspartame is non-caloric. If true, this would lead to insulin resistance and eventually type II diabetes, which is ironic given that most aspartame is consumed in diet foods and sodas by people looking to monitor their weight and prevent diabetes and other health concerns. However, recent studies have shown that aspartame does not increase glucose nor insulin blood levels. Aspartame can not be directly linked to insulin resistance or diabetes.

    A related claim is that aspartame causes weight gain indirectly by increasing cravings for, and hence consumption of, sweets and carbohydrates. A study of 14 women dieters found that compared to drinking a sugar beverage, drinking an aspartame-sweetened beverage caused higher caloric consumption the next day despite no reported increase in appetite. Any results from studies with a larger or broader sample size have not been published since.

  37. Comment by Cliff | 02.24.2009 | 3:00 pm

    So what’s the count so far? We know you’re working on it. Why else would you have suggested it? That should be the next eating competition. How many Jello cups can Joey Chestnut or Kobayashi polish off in 12 minutes?

    Better yet, add competitive jello eating to next year’s Tour de California. For the time trial stage, your total time is based on your cycling time AND how long it takes you to polish off 50 jello cups beforehand. Time penalties are assessed if you hurl before reaching the finish line.

  38. Comment by Ethan | 02.24.2009 | 3:04 pm

    Now this is the kind of serious scientific and philosophical rumination that I have come to expect from this blog. Keep up the good work Fatty.

  39. Comment by gail | 02.24.2009 | 3:05 pm


  40. Comment by Don | 02.24.2009 | 3:15 pm

    I’m with Gillian, the built ins ARE great!
    Oh, and sugar free Jell-o is AWESOME!

  41. Comment by Hat | 02.24.2009 | 3:17 pm

    That would do serious harm to your septic system.

  42. Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 02.24.2009 | 3:35 pm

    You thinking of reviving The Stunt Diet™ ? *grin*

  43. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 02.24.2009 | 3:35 pm

    “Of course I wouldn’t.”

    You already did, didn’t you?

  44. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 02.24.2009 | 3:38 pm

    On a completely related matter. About a decade ago I was in a bad place financially and working 2 fulltime jobs to survive. I was using the caffiene in cola drinks to stay awake. And ballooning. I switched to diet cola. Roughly 4-6 litres a day (1-1.5 US gallons). It took less than 2 weeks for the artificial sweetners to accumulate to toxic levels in my blood and then I became an instant epileptic. Literally. Chemically induced brain seizures.

  45. Comment by Jodi | 02.24.2009 | 3:54 pm

    I do not approve this message.

  46. Comment by Dan O | 02.24.2009 | 4:04 pm

    Racing the Leadville 100 on Jello alone – think of the endorsement possibilities.

    Video would be a must. Sort of like Supersize Me on bikes…..

  47. Comment by Davis | 02.24.2009 | 4:42 pm

    I would donate $5 to your livestrong page (small I know, but when you convert that to the college-student rate that is alot of money) to see a video of you or a friend consuming that in one sitting. I’m sure many others would too. Fundraiser!

  48. Comment by Laura | 02.24.2009 | 5:11 pm

    I’d donate $5 to PREVENT you from eating all that….I can’t even dignify any of it with the designation ‘food’

  49. Comment by fatty | 02.24.2009 | 5:28 pm

    davis and laura – looks like we’ve got a standoff. which of you is going to break the tie?

  50. Comment by DOM | 02.24.2009 | 5:28 pm

    Old school Fatty diets. Man, I miss these.

  51. Comment by Kathleen | 02.24.2009 | 5:36 pm

    I was eating jello in the hospital last week and that was enough for me…no WAY you’d get me to eat all those.

  52. Comment by FlatsMan | 02.24.2009 | 5:53 pm

    The bottom picture on the alcove wall is crooked.

    Just thought you should know.

    OCD that’s me.

  53. Comment by kentucky joe | 02.24.2009 | 6:18 pm


    “you can have your fun and eat it too”

    just could not see the word jello without thinking Bill Cosby…

    I gotta say I thought the close encounter comment was completely hillarious….amazing what FC’s Jello entry has conjured up….

  54. Comment by Christie | 02.24.2009 | 6:24 pm

    All those chemicals could kill a person. Besides, what would your poop look like?

  55. Comment by AlicesYellowPorsche | 02.24.2009 | 6:48 pm

    reminds me of the 100×100 from In-n-Out Burger…. only less calories.


  56. Comment by bikesgonewild | 02.24.2009 | 7:12 pm

    …when bill cosby sez “there’s always room for jell-o”, i don’t think he had in mind what you have in mind…

    …not even close…

  57. Comment by Janet | 02.24.2009 | 7:14 pm

    I’ve been visiting your blog for awhile… a lurker I suppose, as I have never commented. Now, the time has come. DON’T DO IT!! Step away from the Jello!! For the love of God..!!

  58. Comment by Jen W | 02.24.2009 | 7:29 pm

    Huh, I guess I never thought of Jello that way. And you probably wouldn’t even get bored with it b/c there are so many different flavors.

  59. Comment by Barb | 02.24.2009 | 7:35 pm

    Does Susan know what you do when she’s not in her chair?

  60. Comment by Joe P | 02.24.2009 | 7:53 pm

    Coolhand Fatty:

    Fatty: I can eat fifty eggs.
    Dragline: Nobody can eat fifty eggs.
    Society Red: You just said he could eat anything.
    Dragline: Did you ever eat fifty eggs?
    Fatty: Nobody ever eat fifty eggs.
    Prisoner: Hey, Babalugats. We got a bet here.
    Dragline: My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.
    Loudmouth Steve: Yeah, but in how long?
    Fatty: A hour.
    Society Red: Well, I believe I’ll take part of that wager.

  61. Comment by Di | 02.24.2009 | 9:01 pm

    Christie (6:24) raises an excellent point. I would stay away from the Jello to save my poop. Think of the poop.

  62. Comment by Davis | 02.24.2009 | 9:22 pm

    Alright Fatty,

    Just put my money where my mouth is(I think that’s the saying). $5 added to your seattle livestrong page!

  63. Comment by Kala | 02.24.2009 | 9:51 pm

    what would it be like to only consume jello for a day?

    hm. i’m intrigued!!

  64. Comment by cat | 02.24.2009 | 10:32 pm

    Isn’t it almost time for your first colonoscopy? I thought perhaps that was why you were writing about eating massive quantities of Jello…when the time comes for, you know, bending over for health reasons, eat the ones with sugar. You’ll need the strength.

  65. Comment by leroy | 02.24.2009 | 10:49 pm

    Useless bit of too much information: I eat way too much sugar free jello 5 days a week.

    Eating 39 in a day would be a bit of stretch for me, but probably doable.

    Still, I’d love to see you do it.

    I mean, instead of me.

  66. Comment by Born 4Lycra | 02.24.2009 | 11:06 pm

    Wheeldancer thanks for the chair update. I could have sat and looked at the pic for hours and not appreciated the blue chair has arrived as I am colour blind. Most of the jellies look very unappealing too got no idea what colours (or should that be flavour) they are except maybe the orange ones. Chair looks great.

  67. Comment by Beast Mom | 02.24.2009 | 11:09 pm

    You are a very random, odd man sometimes.


  68. Comment by ChefJT | 02.24.2009 | 11:27 pm

    I’d prefer we make our own Jello. Sugar Free or regular….with Tequila!

    God Bless you and yours.

    “Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been.” Jimmy Buffett

  69. Comment by TP | 02.25.2009 | 1:00 am

    Assuming that you sleep 8 hours a day, you have exactly 6 minutes and 24 seconds to eat one Jell-O and you have to keep the pace for 16 hours in a row.

  70. Comment by buckythedonkey | 02.25.2009 | 4:21 am

    You are such a liar. I wonder if there’s an entry in the Guinness Book of Records for eating Jell-o.

    Just a thought.


  71. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 02.25.2009 | 4:42 am

    I can eat 50 eggs. Er, I mean Jellos.

  72. Comment by Lowrydr | 02.25.2009 | 7:29 am

    And the ad right after the post is for WhataBurger’s Patty Melt back for a limited time. Now there’s a challenge: Try to eat 39 of those in one day.

    Please stay away from the Jello stack, it’ll just fall on you and hurt something.

    And does Susan really know what you’re up to?

  73. Comment by gus | 02.25.2009 | 7:46 am



  74. Comment by Krissi | 02.25.2009 | 7:48 am

    I think you may have just created the next big diet!

  75. Comment by shelley | 02.25.2009 | 8:18 am

    Top with fat free cool whip and you have perfection!

  76. Comment by JGM | 02.25.2009 | 8:36 am

    Just cough wind of this, thought you would all like to know.

    While David Zabriskie was busy claiming second place at last week’s Tour of California, thieves were at work stealing over $150,000 USD worth of the American’s belongings. The figure doesn’t include the value of two vehicles taken from Zabriskie’s place during the raid.
    The Garmin – Slipstream rider didn’t learn of the break-in until he returned to his Salt Lake City home on Tuesday. Salt Lake City Police said the theft occurred some time between February 13 to 23, while Zabriskie was contesting the Tour of California.
    “My head is just swimming with the things they’ve taken,” said Zabriskie’s mother Sherry Hamik to Desert News. “They even took his clothes. There’s not much left.”
    In addition to electronic equipment and, remarkably, two vehicles, thieves took both sporting and comic memorabilia from Zabriskie’s house. “The Marvel sideshow statues are very distinctive,” a release from Salt Lake City Police read. “They stand two-three feet tall and are very heavy. The stolen statues were of: Hellboy pistol figurine, Ash Army of Darkness, Tomb Raider Lara Croft, The Punisher, Alien, Ironman Limited Edition, and a Gears of War character.”
    Items stolen include the following:
    Black 2008 Subaru Outback, Utah plate A189NC
    Black 2006 Toyota Scion, Utah plate 094VWM
    Giro D Italia Race Medal (approx. 6″ circumference)
    Olympic Seiko watch
    Beijing Olympic ring (silver) with initials “DZ” engraved ($4,000)
    Olympic Time Trial Bike, plus 12 other bikes (combined value of $100,000)
    Cervélo (black/red) bike frame – team issued ($5000)
    Tag Heuer watch ($6,000)
    Bose Speaker/Receiver System ($15,000)
    Sony 52″ flat screen TV ($4,000)
    Two Mac Books and one Mac desktop, plus hard drive ($8,000)
    A pair of Space legs, a recovery compression system for legs ($5,000)
    7 Marvel sideshow statues ($11,000)
    News of the theft put a put a damper on an otherwise encouraging month for Zabriskie, who was also fined for speeding on the way home from California. He jumped up to second place in the Tour of California with a solid time trial, one spot behind compatriot Levi Leipheimer (Astana).
    Detectives have appealed for help from the public, as they expect some of these items to turn up in local pawnshops or online auction sites. Anyone with any information on the burglary or the location of the items is asked to call the Tips for Cash line at 799-INFO (4636) and reference case #09-32767.

  77. Comment by Demonic1 | 02.25.2009 | 8:40 am

    I actually did this stunt diet already. you’re too late :)

    It’s way cheaper to buy the boxes, then make it in tupperware so you can re-seal the top.

    The upside is that it works. I did it one summer- 5 months- it was my only snack or anytime I felt hungry. Had actual breakfast and dinner. Lunch was sugar free jello too.

    Ended up loosing 50 pounds while I biked to work every day- 15 miles one way. I was in fantastic shape.

    the downside is that I can’t stand to see jello anymore.

    good luck!

  78. Comment by Fifth Column | 02.25.2009 | 9:33 am

    I once had a late-afternoon knee surgery that had to be delayed by several hours. The only thing they would let me eat was lime-flavored Jell-o. I must have eaten at least 6 boxes worth during the “clear liquids only” period.

    To this day I still will not eat lime Jell-o

  79. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 02.25.2009 | 9:49 am

    Sugar-Free Jello is not your friend. The poisonous, fake sugar, Aspartame, has already been covered above but have you ever ventured to know how they make gelatin? It is made from the bones, skins, ligaments and tendons of slaughtered animals. Yep, spare parts.


  80. Comment by Mojo | 02.25.2009 | 10:18 am

    Find a way to mix this stuff up in bulk and keep all that plastic and foil packaging out of the landfill.

  81. Comment by Tom in SJ | 02.25.2009 | 10:56 am

    Or you can eat 50 7-1/2″ carrots a day, and sprinkle then with Splenda.

  82. Comment by Dan D, | 02.25.2009 | 11:30 am

    The real problem is that even if you eat absolutely nothing for a day, the most you drop is a pound, maybe a pound and a half if you’re out on the bike. (Not counting water loss, which would quickly be recovered). And trying to carry this diet much beyond a day would, I suspect, lead very quickly to malnutrition.

  83. Comment by randomhigh | 02.25.2009 | 11:49 am

    so how much did you eat? :) or if you can’t remember, how long did it take for your tongue to get back to its normal color? :)

  84. Comment by Terry | 02.25.2009 | 11:54 am

    All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.
    All work and …………

  85. Comment by km | 02.25.2009 | 12:28 pm

    If you can do 150 in 24 hrs.,…I’ll do 165 in 24 hrs.! Screw the rest of you aspartame haters! If it could raise money for cancer I’m in! Take me on Fatty, I dare ya!

  86. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » The Jell-O Chronicles | 02.25.2009 | 12:47 pm

    [...] « 390 Calories [...]

  87. Comment by VA Biker | 02.25.2009 | 7:46 pm

    Stacking Jello containers is more fun than eating them, but way less fun than burning stuff. How does semi-solid Jello stand up to the butane torch that barely touched the petrified Shot Blocks? That’s what I really want to know.

    BTW, I just made a recipe using the seaweed-derived equivalent of animal-derived gelatin, agar-agar. The result was…an awful tasting, foul mess. Water + sugar + agar-agar + egg white + cut fruit does NOT = yummy dessert.

  88. Comment by Miles Archer | 02.26.2009 | 7:43 pm

    Ok. I’m assuming that you did it.

    What color was your pee?


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