Team Fatty Jerseys, Devo, and Jeff’s Bloggies Report

03.17.2009 | 7:39 am

200903170625.jpgHey, I don’t mean to panic you or anything, but today’s the last day to pre-order your Team Fatty gear. And now that I am officially the Two-Time Best Sports Blogger In The Whole Freaking World, I think you’re going to want to associate yourself with me.

I mean, just think about how cool you will sound when the following conversation occurs:

Random Stranger (RS): Why are you wearing a shirt that proclaims that you’re fat?

You: It’s not a “shirt.” It’s a jersey.

RS: OK, then why are you wearing a jersey that proclaims that you’re fat?

You: Because I’m helping Team Fatty raise money to fight cancer.

RS: Oh. What’s Team Fatty?

You: It’s a LiveStrong Challenge team started by a guy named Fatty.

RS: Why would a guy with a name like “Fatty” not change his name, much less put it on shirts?

See what I mean? Almost painfully cool.

And just in case you don’t know, we’re donating 40% of the gross on Team Fatty jerseys and bundles to the Lance Armstrong Foundation (more details here). In the week we’ve been doing this, we’ve raised around $9,000.00 to go to the Team Fatty LiveStrong Challenge with these jerseys.

Which is not half bad.

To order jerseys, click one of the below links. (All jerseys $75)

To order Team Fatty Bundles (which in addition to raising money to fight cancer also give you a really good deal), click one of the below links.

One last thing on this pre-order: We’re not going to order a whole bunch of extras, so we’ll almost certainly sell completely out of any extras as soon as they arrive. So if you want one and haven’t ordered one, your best shot is to order one now.

A Few Words About Fixies and Devo

I have been a fan of Devo since I was a Sophomore in High School. And not just a casual fan, either. I have all their albums. My iPod’s “Ride” playlist has more Devo in it than any other group (just in case you’re wondering, Social Distortion is a close second, and Oingo Boingo is a close third).

My phone’s ringtone is the opening riff from Girl U Want.

So as you might imagine, I’m more than just casually interested in the Devo Bike Auction currently going on. Check out what they’re auctioning:


Yes, Devo — along with Trek, Club Devo, and Mellow Johnnys — are auctioning off this one-of-a-kind Devo fixie, with proceeds going to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

Cool bike: check. Devo: check. Fighting cancer: check. This bike is a perfect storm of stuff I love. I’m definitely going to put in a serious bid on this. Feel free to try to outbid me here (and look for some more pictures of this bike further down this post).

Jeff’s Report from the Bloggies

Yesterday, my friend Jeff happened to be at SXSWi for work, which put him in an excellent position to accept my Bloggie for me. Here’s his essay-in-photos-style report.

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Welcome to Texas: Fire Ants and Beer! Not quite the welcome “Bud’s Drive-Through Beer Barn” presented Matt Carter and me on a trip to Dallas (slogan: “Open that for the road?”) years ago.

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And here we are at SXSWi, where the three days of sessions and trade show is simply fluffy window dressing for the core draw: the weblog awards. I’m here, in my Fat Cyclist jersey, anxious to pick up his award and less-than-anxious to give the speech I have been provided.

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I settle myself near the lovely and charming Pioneer Woman, the lovely and charming sister of PW, the chunky and charming 9-month-old nephew of PW, and our new friend MsSingleMama. Honey, guys in bike jerseys attract lovely and charming people into their aura. The lycra shorts, you were right, dear, would have been too much. But I digress. The ceremony proceeds, ably IRCed and twittered by many. In a shocking turn of events, most of the crowd is actually paying attention. Much clapping transpires as PW wins two awards (and later the grand prize).

I give a shortened version of the prepared speech, focusing on the first paragraph and the LiveStrong stuff. I then wrap it up, since my proxy thank-you speech is approximately one million billion times longer than anyone else’s was. I picked out a beautiful shot glass (um, yeah, not giant ball-o-precious metal) for Fatty and for sibling Pistons and Parakeets (I always get that confused — thank Andreesen for bookmarks). After PW’s triumphant final win, I join the other winners or proxies on stage for ceremonial shots of the handmade vodka PW won. I was the only one who demurred and stuck with the proffered Red Bull shot.

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I then returned to the job I was supposed to be doing at the time: manning the booth, where we featured the world’s fastest server, a nifty electric drag bike built around a dual-server. If you are geeky enough to care about this, go check out the site, or come visit Once I finished there I …

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Had a celebratory lunch on Elden’s behalf at the Iron Works BBQ adjacent to the convention center. No need to eat again until Wednesday.

Proceeded to the holy land, or at least the highly-well-respected land of Mellow Johnny’s.

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To fortify myself upon entry, I bought a diet coke from the friendly barista at Juan Pelota Cafe, perused the artwork, and just wandered around and caressed the merchandise.

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Beautiful bikes on display. Yellow jerseys from TdF wins by Mr. LiveStrong. And I bought a couple of t-shirts for me, one for my friend the Aussie co-founder of, and — THANKS, MJ guys, they wer kind enough to give me one to bring to Fatty. I was going to charge him for it. Maybe I still will. I know from long experience he doesn’t read a thing I write. It’s always “blah blah blah even my internal monologue is more amusing than Jeff’s carefully crafted prose so I don’t even have to read it … I will just wait until the end and state a sarcastic, agreeing supposition that invalidates everything that went before.” Not that I’m bitter. Am I digressing? Sorry.

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In movies, when the Holy Grail is seen, the Path to Freedom is found, or the Comic Misunderstanding is resolved, music plays as if it were the voice of angels singing. In MJ’s, when I saw the LiveStrong DEVO bike, angels in the form of “THAT’S GOOD (BOOM), THAT’S GOOD (BOOM)” sang.

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Look at this exceptional craft work (not kraftwerk, that’s a completely different matter altogether).

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Nice rear view: you know you want it. So if a problem comes along, you must whip it. Devo’s taking the same approach to cancer: join in the LiveStrong auction for this devolutionary, custom built ride. Use your freedom of choice. Turn away those gates of steel. It’s just the bike, it’s just the bike, the bike you want.

Thanks, Elden, for letting me accept on your behalf. Your trophy with only a little leftover Red Bull smear will be on its way to you soon. Use it in good health and stuff. And if you’re not nice to me I’ll repeat the pirate jokes they used in the gala award ceremony. (just for future reference: pirate jokes make any event a gala event.)


  1. Comment by Carl | 03.17.2009 | 7:50 am

    Congrats Fatty on your award!!! I had just the conversation you proposed while at the barber shop last night… were you listening???

  2. Comment by cheapie | 03.17.2009 | 7:59 am

    it’s a size 57 fatty. there’s no way you could ride that thing!

    Yeah, I wouldn’t be buying it to ride. – FC

  3. Comment by Mariah | 03.17.2009 | 8:47 am

    Congratulations Fatty, well deserved.

  4. Comment by KanyonKris | 03.17.2009 | 9:22 am

    Jeff, you’re an excellent stand-in and foreign correspondent (yes, Utahns consider Texas a foreign country).

    The Devo bike is sweet, but I thought I was “through being cool”.

    Elden, as a Devo fan I’m sure you’ve heard their cover of NIN’s Head Like A Hole. If not, you must.

  5. Comment by Erin | 03.17.2009 | 9:25 am

    Doesn’t it appear to have two brake levers, and no rear brake? Is this something particularly Devo-esque? Or are things too mellow at Johnny’s?

  6. Comment by Erin | 03.17.2009 | 9:31 am

    Ah, I just saw it’s a Fillmore.

    Now, that makes me laugh. WWGD?

  7. Comment by chtrich | 03.17.2009 | 9:32 am

    KK, the cover you suggest sounds good. Where can I find such a tune? A basic search turns up nothing for me.

  8. Comment by Non Cyclist | 03.17.2009 | 9:39 am

    Congrats Fatty! Just ordered my short sleeve bundle, can’t wait until June. Win!

  9. Comment by Todd Olson | 03.17.2009 | 9:43 am

    I love DEVO! Congrats on the award! Good luck on the bike. Stay Fat!

  10. Comment by Philly Jen | 03.17.2009 | 9:46 am

    A 57? Hmph. Does it play Randy Newman’s “Short People” as it rolls along?

    The Mothersbaugh of all rides — Lee Press-On Hair not included.

  11. Comment by bikemike | 03.17.2009 | 10:35 am


  12. Comment by KanyonKris | 03.17.2009 | 10:40 am

    chtrich – You can listen to Devo’s “Head Like A Hole” here:

    I found it on the Supercop soundtrack (you can buy the CD used on Amazon for $3):

    It was also on the Devo Pioneers Who Got Scalped: The Anthology (Disc 2), but it is out of print and the cheapest price on Amazon used is $18 + $3

    It might be available on iTunes as a single.

  13. Comment by JAT in Seattle | 03.17.2009 | 11:12 am

    Wait a minute! Miller Lite is Beer?

  14. Comment by KanyonKris | 03.17.2009 | 11:13 am

    Philly Jen – How tall are you?!?! I’m 6′1″ and ride a 58cm so 57 seems normalish. maybe you thought it was a 47.

  15. Comment by Brandy | 03.17.2009 | 11:51 am

    oooh, glad you reminded me, I had to order another Fatty jersey! Happy St Patty’s day everyone. By the way…notice the Mellow Johnny’s kit in one of the photos…looks very similar to Fatty Gear….a cowinky-dink? I think not!

  16. Comment by chtrich | 03.17.2009 | 11:53 am

    KK – thanks for he link…although I think I prefer the original. lol

  17. Comment by redraider268 | 03.17.2009 | 12:16 pm

    I am not sure you can qualify for the name “fatty” any longer if you skipped out on the rib plate at Iron Works. I have seen NFL o-linemen that can’t finish it.

  18. Comment by Jenny-Jenny | 03.17.2009 | 12:55 pm

    Way to go oh large one.

  19. Comment by Joel | 03.17.2009 | 1:02 pm

    Speaking of confusing people with the Team Fatty jersey – last week I was heading down to the parking garage to head home, wearing my (lovely and wonderful) Fat Cyclist woolie, and the woman waiting for the elevator noticed the logo, said “Fat Cyclist?” and laughed. She then apologized and made it clear she wasn’t calling me fat (I am) but was only laughing at the jersey. I didn’t even try to explain…

  20. Comment by db | 03.17.2009 | 1:05 pm

    “Man is real, not made of steel”.

    Those spacers are a stroke of genius.

  21. Comment by Mike Roadie | 03.17.2009 | 2:18 pm


    Stop hounding me; I already bought my BLACK Team Fatty jersey.

    Miller Lite is definitely NOT beer.

    Congrats, Elden, on the most deserved award!!!!


  22. Comment by KanyonKris | 03.17.2009 | 2:24 pm

    db – Thanks for pointing out the spacers, I missed that. I agree, nice touch.

  23. Comment by Onan the Barbarian | 03.17.2009 | 2:25 pm

    OK, fine, I ponied up for the jersey (to go with my OTHER Fatty jerseys). i also signed up to do the Chequamegon Fat Tire 40 in the fall after an 8 year hiatus. I registered under the name Team Fatty and was wondering if anyone else would be doing that fall classic MTB race?

    I also just looked at TwinSix’s address and realized I live about 10 blocks from them, yet have to pay $9 shipping. I chatted with them and I SHOULD be the first one to rock the Team fatty jersey as they said they’d just call for me to pick it up from their shop.



  24. Comment by Philly Jen | 03.17.2009 | 3:36 pm

    @KK — What I meant was that a 57cm frame is but a cruel mockery of 5′3″ people like me. (Sorta like the Randy Newman song.) 47cm road frame, guilty as charged.

  25. Comment by Dorothy | 03.17.2009 | 9:01 pm

    I’m very sad I didn’t get to order a team fatty jersey… they stopped excepting orders at 5pm central time! I know you warned us and all…but I really did think I could come home from work on the 17th and still be able to place my order…


  26. Comment by John | 03.17.2009 | 9:36 pm

    What about all of us who weren’t able to order Team Fatty kit until tonight? The order thingy on Twinsix says it’s over.

    Say it ain’t so!!!!!!! I need to order the full kit!!

    Please help!

  27. Comment by Mellow Velo | 03.18.2009 | 8:28 am

    We need to know the results of the black jersey hottness test! Or, at least, I do. I am getting ready to order jerseys for my organization’s Michigan to Florida ride this summer, and I would love to do a jersey with a lot of black on it (with our color – orange).

    But I’m getting flack for it. Everyone says they’ll be too hot. I then forward them to your site, but they remind me that we’ll be in the sun everyday for many hours a day for five weeks. Whiners!

    So…do I have any scientific evidence to back up my desire for the awesomeness that is a black jersey??

  28. Comment by Kathleen | 03.19.2009 | 1:55 pm

    Awesome report Jeff! Fatty, you have good friends who know you well…love the “I know from long experience he doesn’t read a thing I write.” Is this true?

  29. Comment by LoPhat | 03.22.2009 | 5:48 pm


    Me too, since high school. Did you see this?

  30. Comment by voderie | 04.3.2009 | 4:54 pm

    ???… ??????? …

  31. Comment by voderie | 04.7.2009 | 8:54 am

    hm… amazing )

  32. Comment by mibiaHete | 04.15.2009 | 3:40 pm

    hmm. amazing )

  33. Comment by geoffrey | 07.25.2009 | 3:55 am


    We’re from belgium -friends tourist cycling club- and we’d like to order the team fatty jersey’s (short sleev), but when i click on the link above, i get an error page and i can’t find the fatty jersey anywhere on the Twin Six site.

    Are they sold out?
    If yes, any chance they would be available again?

    If anyone could help me, that would be great

    Thx in adavance

  34. Comment by Auction | 04.26.2010 | 9:35 pm

    Thanks for pointing out the spacers, I missed that. I agree, nice touch.


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