A Review of My Daughter’s Cold-Weather Bicycle Plan
It started to snow — just a little — while I was out on a ride yesterday, which is not a big deal unless you’re a sissy.
Which I am, but that’s not the point of today’s post, so let’s just keep moving, OK? Thanks.
I returned from my ride to two worried little girls. The idea of dad riding out in the snow was very troubling to them. And the worry didn’t stop even after I let them know that I was reasonably certain I would keep all my fingers and toes.
By the time I had cleaned up, Katie had designed a solution the problem. She presented me with her invention:
As you can see, it’s me, on a bike, happy and comfortable in spite of the fact that it is cloudy and snowing (it’s so bad outside that even the (partially obscured) sun is sad). The primary virtues of this bike are as obvious as they are practical:
- Heater vent: Clearly labeled, it is blowing nicely at me. I like the way that Katie has thoughtfully placed it behind, rather than in front or overhead. This way, it’s not likely to dry out my eyes or leave me feeling uncomfortably hot in front.
- Roomy, Weathertight Enclosure: As evidenced by the drawing, not a single snowflake is getting through. That’s remarkable, but not as remarkable as the fact that the whole contraption is large enough for me to get up and walk around in. I needn’t worry about sudden attacks of claustrophobia in this!
- Easy Access: The windshield doubles as a front door to get in. Multipurpose functionality like this cuts down on weight, and that’s going to be important when I use this thing for my next TT to the top of the Alpine Loop.
- Two-Wheel Drive: Once the snow begins falling in earnest, I’m going to be really glad that the chain goes to both the front and rear wheel, making it possible for me to get out of deep snow and over icy patches. Frankly, I didn’t expect this kind of functionality in a first-pass drawing from a seven-year-old.
Problems
All that’s well and good, but here at the Fat Cyclist household, I expect a certain level of excellence from my children. And in several key areas, Katie’s invention falls short.
- Moose Antlers Are Heavy: It’s evident that in lieu of normal handlebars, Katie has elected to have me steer using moose antlers. Have you ever tried lifting those things?
- The Seat is Too Low: I can see why she has the seat in a low position like that: to enable the weight savings that come with a low ceiling. But as is readily evident in her drawing, I am not going to be able to get optimal leg extension with the saddle where it is. Furthermore, if I were to raise the saddle, my head would bump against the ceiling. “You know my axle-to-saddle measurement is 74.5cm,” I said. “Everyone in this house does. Don’t go trying to cheat on your designs and build me a snow bike that won’t accommodate that saddle height.”
- The Wheels are Too Small: I can see that Katie opted to go with 22″ wheels. She knows good and well that I don’t have a single tube that size, and that it’s almost impossible to find good, lightweight rims in that diameter. “Go look in the garage,” I admonished her. “Do you see any 22″ wheels out there? No? Why do you think that is? That’s right, because it’s not a common wheel size. Now go back to the drawing board and re-do this with 700c — or at least 650c — wheels.
- No Shifting Mechanism: I appreciate the fact that Katie acknowledges my current fascination with single speeds, but this is ridiculous. There is no way I am going to get that thing up and over a mountain pass with the current gearing. And if I don’t miss my guess — and as an internationally beloved and award-winning internet cycling blogger celebrity I rarely do — she’s set this thing up as a fixie. Not only is that impractical, it’s downright pompous.
I of course gave my daughter all of this constructive feedback and sent her on her way, pleased with my parenting skills, and confident that her next drawing will be better thought out.
Comment by Carl | 10.6.2009 | 7:13 am
Very cute… and it looks like they did capture your massive quads.
Comment by DallasBikr | 10.6.2009 | 7:22 am
Forget the quads…check the left Popeye forearm!
great stuff :)
DallasBikr
Comment by Michael | 10.6.2009 | 7:36 am
Is the helmet still required? After all, you are riding indoors.
Or is that a hockey helmet (like the one that I am required to wear all day)?
Comment by km | 10.6.2009 | 7:40 am
I applaud your parenting skills Fatty. I make my kids recite the angles of my ideal frame and tube lengths from memory at least monthly. It keeps them honest for when they eventually hit the lotto and can purchase me my dream bike. Is it too much to ask for a little consideration for accuracy when laying down a schematic for such an obvious advancement in cycling comformt?? You’ll get them whipped into shape keep up the parenting!! ;-)
Comment by Frank F | 10.6.2009 | 7:43 am
Looks like an early start on a fully fair’ed Recumbent! Your daughter is trying to get you ‘bent!
Welcome to the world of weatherproof riding.
Comment by Bullwinkle | 10.6.2009 | 7:45 am
The moose handlebars are useful in that when encountering moose and/or elk during mountain time trials they will yield to you. The weight penalty is well worth the time and/or trampling penalty of encounters with moose and/or elk.
Comment by cece | 10.6.2009 | 7:50 am
I love Katie’s invention! I will think of it tomorrow as my sissy self, who hates the cold,wet , and dark (did she put lights on it?) cycles into our Bike Valet at the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta at 4am….don’t know if I could park that though…but I will try!
Comment by Jessica @ How Sweet It Is | 10.6.2009 | 7:52 am
This is too cute. It would be nice to have a built in heater on the bike in these coming cold months!
Comment by Heather | 10.6.2009 | 7:57 am
What a great story!! I think you may have an engineer in the making. Very creative and practical. I love it!! Ask Katie if she can come up with something similar for runners…not that we get much snow here in SC. We’re still having days with the temperature above 80…I can’t even imagine snow this time of year…but would work for the rain too and we are having plenty of that right now…and I can’t run in the rain. I melt…so this type of an invention would be a HUGE help! :)
Comment by stuckinmypedals | 10.6.2009 | 8:03 am
It gets pretty hot here so I’m wondering if the box bike come with a summer option package, something with AC and window shades. When the designs for that come through, sign me up.
Comment by VT Rob | 10.6.2009 | 8:07 am
I didn’t notice the moose antlers at first. Had to scroll back up to notice that sweet design feature. Nice!
Comment by Kali Durga | 10.6.2009 | 8:08 am
I was beginning to miss hearing about the kids. Good to know they’re looking out for their old man.
If I had a bike like that, I might not weenie out when the weather dropped below 50 degrees.
Comment by Tom F | 10.6.2009 | 8:13 am
I’m a little concerned with the broken ankle. Is this due to exposure to recent “rag-dolling”? …otherwise brilliant.
Comment by Donna | 10.6.2009 | 8:13 am
I love it! Seems you have a future engineer on your hands. My daughter is currently re-engineering the trick-or-treat jack-o-lantern. :)
Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 10.6.2009 | 8:14 am
If you add a little heater vent near the feet and some lights for winter commute traffic, sign me up for one!
Comment by stewoz & miss | 10.6.2009 | 8:15 am
Mate, if it was actually a real bike, I am guessing that would bring your quiver of bikes to, what, about 17 or so? :) BTW, moose antlers in a nice carbon weave are strong, lightweight and still look like the real thing.
Comment by bikemike | 10.6.2009 | 8:23 am
you have very long, noodle-like, legs. did you ever work for cirque du soleil?
Comment by Boomer | 10.6.2009 | 8:26 am
Like me, Fatty obviously lives by the motto, “correct them while they’re young and they’ll be perfect for life.” Katie will thank her father someday when she designs and implements the first practical elevator to a space station…complete with moose antlers and powered by single speeds.
Comment by ilikebikesjake | 10.6.2009 | 8:28 am
Now you’re gonna hear it from BSNYC when some hipster actually builds one of these as a fixie to ride around Williamsburg. The antler handlebars are perfectly ironic and of course I don’t see a brake on there.
Comment by Big Boned | 10.6.2009 | 8:29 am
Ya know, back when I lived in Michigan I certainly could have used one of these bikes. It looks like it might serve as a suitable portable ice fishing shanty too (can I get one with an optional flat screen?).
Comment by Jen | 10.6.2009 | 8:35 am
I think this bike would totally work if you could just manage to grow the Go-Go-Gadget arms required to steer it.
Comment by justrun | 10.6.2009 | 8:39 am
An enclosed bike! That’s fantastic. And I love how even with being “inside” you are apparently still in tights. She is serious about keeping you warm.
Comment by bobby | 10.6.2009 | 8:45 am
I’m a little disappointed in the pen-and-paper mock-up. Why isn’t she using CAD yet?
Comment by Jack M. | 10.6.2009 | 8:47 am
You can fix the small wheels problem with Pugsley wheels:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__GNzQuXzGVQ/SZA7OA3A17I/AAAAAAAAAGA/OIRSNpCix9c/s1600-h/IMG_0051.JPG
=-]
Comment by Di | 10.6.2009 | 8:47 am
It isn’t just moose antlers for steering, but the WHOLE HEAD! Wow. That would be heavy. Also, I would think that having that moose head that far to the front of the apparatus would make it front-heavy, so you would most likely endo if you hit the right bump.
Comment by Lizzylou | 10.6.2009 | 8:50 am
I strongly support the chosen color scheme for this snow-bike. It is often difficult to find a bike set with all the components and features that you want AND still be pleased with the color.
Comment by cyclingjimbo | 10.6.2009 | 8:53 am
Very creative – you have a future engineer in your household who is not afraid to think outside the proverbial box. She’s not afraid to do a little redesign on you as well – forget the quads and seat height when your new spaghetti legs wraps around so nicely! Katie has happily solved your seat height fixation by eliminating your knees. Very creative! We get more rain than snow here in Philly – can I order one with wipers?
Comment by FatPedro | 10.6.2009 | 8:57 am
The fact that you went riding in the snow is in complete contradiction to your Winter Fitness Plan, and this cunning invention only means you will be riding more this winter! I believe you’re attempting to lure the unsuspecting competition into a false sense of security with these dubious claims of regressing to your true inner fatty. More burritos for you!
Comment by Sarabeth S | 10.6.2009 | 8:57 am
Great invention. Get that girl in to a patent lawyer right away, you need to be writing up a provisional already.
Comment by Scrod | 10.6.2009 | 9:01 am
She made a straw man without doing a requirements meeting with the customer? She should feel suitably chagrined. I hope she straightens out before going into pre-production of this vehicle.
Comment by BShow | 10.6.2009 | 9:02 am
Man, that crash at Leadville jacked you up worse than I thought. I had no idea that you needed to amputate your left forearm. Or, wait a minute… You’ve got superhuman powers, dont you? It’s become apparent that you’re a disguised Mr. Fantastic.
Also, its clear that your daugther is utilizing an internally geared hub (which doesnt make it right) on the front wheel, whereas the rear wheel is setup as a singlespeed freewheel. The only problem with this setup though, is that you’ll need to watch out for torque steer, especially with those little wheels.
I believe that, being a girl, she values style over function. Thats the only possible explanation for rollin’ on 22’s.
Comment by Shiny Flu | 10.6.2009 | 9:17 am
The moose handlebars, although heavy, will ensure that you fit in perfectly with fixters down at the local. Much like Calfee…
Comment by Dr. Lammler | 10.6.2009 | 9:20 am
1. The seat is too low?
Have you ever heard of lowering the center of gravity? Katie understands this.
2. Moose antlers are much safer in a crash than, say, caribou antlers.
C. I think the heater vent is behind you to provide a tail wind to help get you over a mountain pass. It’s quite clever, actually.
Does it come in other colors to match my very expensive Assos SS.13 jersey?
Comment by Jill | 10.6.2009 | 9:23 am
Don’t forget that she thought about the traction – she put spikes on the front wheel to make sure that you won’t slip in the snow. Very smart.
Comment by geraldatwork | 10.6.2009 | 9:24 am
With Susan gone you have become the single most important person in your children’s lives. The drawing and their concern about riding in the snow or anything else they perceive as dangerous pretty much shows. Just be careful.
Comment by Brad | 10.6.2009 | 9:27 am
The sun is not happy about your abomination on wheels!
Comment by Dan O | 10.6.2009 | 9:37 am
Awesome!
I had to scrape my windshield this morning, and yesterday, it was rollers in the garage.
I need one of those, moose antler steering and all!
life is good
Comment by Den | 10.6.2009 | 9:37 am
You daughter has some good ideas. Here is a picture taken of a bike this summer on GOBA (Great Ohio Bike Adventure):
http://www.marionstar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?Avis=BE&Dato=20090701&Kategori=CUSTOMERSERVICE02&Lopenr=907010801&Ref=PH
I apologize but you have to go to picture #10.
At least she knew you better than to make it a recumbent like in the photo. Perhaps that’s where she got the idea for the tire size? The person who rode this bike did great even when temps on the road one day were 100 – 110 degrees. A few alterations on this bike should work for winter.
After seeing her drawing and remembering this bike from the summer, I’d say your daughter is exceptionally smart AND creative
…but enough of the positive feedback.
Let her see the photo and send her back to the drawing board!
Comment by mark | 10.6.2009 | 9:40 am
OK, here’s the thing I can’t figure out. You’re like 2 or 3 inches taller than me. And yet you set your saddle to 74.5cm. I set mine at 66.7cm. Do you really have a 33 inch inseam, or do you just like your saddle that high?
Comment by Sue | 10.6.2009 | 9:41 am
Let Katie know at least one of your readers think it’s PERFECT the way it is and need no additional modifications. Where/when can I get one, it doesn’t snow here in PA for another month or two, or three.
Comment by UphillBattle | 10.6.2009 | 9:43 am
How precious! Katie, that is!
Comment by Paula Kirsch | 10.6.2009 | 9:47 am
HMMMM I feel the drawing was very well thought out as it was Dad!
str
Comment by Robert | 10.6.2009 | 10:03 am
priceless!
Comment by Stephanie | 10.6.2009 | 10:10 am
I love Katie’s drawing – very creative solution to the fact that she is worried about you and needs to know you are coming back to her. You might want to get a set of walkie talkies so that when she’s worried while you’re out on a ride, she can find you and speak with you. As someone who’s worked with kids for close to 30 years, it’s important they know how to find you. Just a suggestion.
Comment by Haven (used to be Kt) | 10.6.2009 | 10:20 am
I like that it comes in purple. The heater needs to be down low though, because heat rises.
Here’s your teachable-physcis-moment.
Great drawing, Katie! Don’t worry about your dad riding in snow this early in the season– it’ll melt before it hits the ground, or soon after, so it’s more like riding in the rain. And I’m sure that he’ll be implementing his grand plan for tapering soon so you won’t have to worry about him riding outside when the snow really begins to fly! :)
Drawing on Stephanie’s idea, Elden, do you carry a cell phone when you ride? In an effort to alleviate the worries of my family, I carry one and let them know when I’m leaving one destination and heading for another (i.e. from work to home) and about what time I’ll be there. Helps a lot. Walkie talkies or FRS radios are great– if you live in the right kind of terrain, i.e. fairly flattish. I don’t think you’ll want to carry an amateur radio rig (though handhelds are fairly small, compared to a full in-car set-up). :)
Do I carry a phone? Haven, I’ve had one implanted in my head. – FC
Comment by Tom Fury | 10.6.2009 | 10:29 am
Frankly, I’m a little disturbed that you let her use that particular color, what with purple being the color of the devil and all.
Comment by Road Divit | 10.6.2009 | 10:46 am
Great design to workout your cankles
Comment by Rick | 10.6.2009 | 10:49 am
As Jill noted, a studded front tire, and both (!) are radially spoked.
Comment by Banger | 10.6.2009 | 10:50 am
Fatty, all I am going to say is that if Surly sees this and sends you a Pugsley before I get finished building mine (fingers crossed it will be done before the end of the month), I may have to declare some sort of war.
Comment by JB | 10.6.2009 | 11:13 am
Are you sure Katie didn’t hook you up with a $1400 Roloff hub? Internal gearing would be the way to go on that baby and of course she’d know that.
It also seems she’s given you a lot of room to slide back to give yourself the necessary leg extension. The seat obviously slides forward for easy entry through the windscreen and then slides back into riding position (under the vent, naturally).
Is Katie telling you it’s time for a ‘bent? What does she know that you’re not sharing?
As for tire size, are you sure she’s not suggesting that you go for the Hannebrink wheel size? Sure, a little impractical in terms of what’s in the garage now, but really, does this look like she’s thinking inside the box? I have a Pugsley and I’ve seen a Hannebrink and those tires are twice as wide.
Comment by Dr. Lame-ler | 10.6.2009 | 11:20 am
To Tom Fury, this color was chosen because the drawing is, obviously, a blueprint. Katie’s really advanced for her years.
I notice that there is sufficient room behind the driver to add a bench seat. With the addition of tandem rear wheels this design would make a great pedicab.
Comment by fwcpc | 10.6.2009 | 11:27 am
You could save even more weight by foregoing the heater and using “natural gas” to regulate the bubble temps
Comment by Jaime O. | 10.6.2009 | 11:35 am
I think Katie was trying to tell Daddy his ankles are getting quite thick and he should not be fooled into thinking he is thin just by examining his pencil-ish neck.
Comment by Alon | 10.6.2009 | 11:35 am
This bike is gonna be tough to steer with those loooong chainstays!
Comment by twbagby | 10.6.2009 | 11:37 am
A very inventive little girl you have there. Maybe she can add a hot cocoa dispenser on her next revisions and some windshield wipers. It’s good to see you are thinking ahead and your children like to help you. Keeps the mind and body young. Ride hard, livestrong friend.
Comment by Charisa | 10.6.2009 | 11:40 am
I’m pretty sure your daughters are going to make you millions some day :)
Comment by Mary from NC | 10.6.2009 | 11:42 am
You already have the contraption Katie designed…it is called a trainer/roller that you have used to Cycle to Nowhere. I am pleased she kept you in a helmet :-)
Comment by BellaCroix | 10.6.2009 | 11:57 am
Any chance we can get some complex engineering figures to measure the vertical rigidity and lateral compliance? I just can’t handle too much horizontal sway when I’ve got a good angular flex going on.
Also, I’m worried about the bottom bracket… it looks, well… actually it looks invisible? Is that new technology from some boutique bike builder?
Finally, can I get some additional information regarding the head-tube diameter? Is that a quill or does it incorporate the newer moose-head-spine set-up?
Comment by Kathy McElhaney | 10.6.2009 | 12:06 pm
Admit it, Fatty! Before you offered your “constructive feedback,” you hugged your little darlin’ and probably wiped a tear or two… Oh, that was sweat, was it? Sure, we believe you.
Comment by NYCCarlos | 10.6.2009 | 12:07 pm
ohmygosh… I almost just peed my pants. Best. post. ever.
PS… I’m JEALOUS OF YOUR SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Clydesteve | 10.6.2009 | 2:00 pm
I really wanted this bike on the commute in this morning in near-freezing fog.
Please order one from your daughter, Fatty – 63cm equivalent frame size, windshield wipers and a defroster, please. And I might need the geared version.
Money is no object.
Comment by Carla | 10.6.2009 | 3:10 pm
Given your history of late – your daughters should be concerned about you. Given the fact you hate to clean out your cycling boo-boos, I hope you ride carefully in the snow.
Comment by G | 10.6.2009 | 3:28 pm
Very funny. Considering your constructive criticism, I figured this little tidbit might be relatively humorous to you: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule
Not exactly the most eloquent or polite (to say the least) but funny.
Thanks for what you do.
Comment by NEIN | 10.6.2009 | 4:16 pm
Moose Antlers Are Heavy: Dude, come on. Those are obviously high end Ritchey WCS Carbon Moose Antlers. They’re only 180 grams!
The Seat is Too Low: It looks like it slides back into a recumbent position.
The Wheels are Too Small: Small wheels have less rotational inertia – it will be easier to get it spinning. A smaller wheel will also be proportionally stronger sideways – which is an advantage during hard riding.
No Shifting Mechanism: Suck it up, princess. Do you want somebody to pedal it to ;)
Comment by Philly Jen | 10.6.2009 | 4:40 pm
We actually have them thar’ things in Philly. (Minus the moose antlers, but we could fix that in a jiffy.)
Comment by dug | 10.6.2009 | 5:00 pm
i’m thinking maybe you should start telling us about your daughter’s dreams, so we can psychoanalyze those too.
Comment by Andy Reed | 10.6.2009 | 5:02 pm
Now if only the girls would come up with a contraption that would make it safe to ride the nosedive in the dark.
Comment by Laura | 10.6.2009 | 5:24 pm
This was the funniest post ever. You are a great dad.
Comment by Drew Dietrich | 10.6.2009 | 5:31 pm
Your daughter might need a stronger patent attorney… It looks like the Chinese are working on a newer revision.
http://www.kevincyr.net/index.php?/project/camper-bike/
See 9 of 9 pics.
Comment by Peter | 10.6.2009 | 6:10 pm
I bet Didi Senft would build it for you. In fact, you should invite him to come chase us up the hills around Austin.
Comment by bubba seadog | 10.6.2009 | 6:19 pm
you should tell your daughter dont worry about building this thing youve already gotten lots of miles and smiles from it. and give her another from everyone……sounds like shes fighting like susan
Comment by MikeL | 10.6.2009 | 7:08 pm
After reading this post and admiring the handiwork and thought that went into your daughter’s design, I had the feeling that i had seen something similar.
Check the following link:
http://www.sam-hane.com/sass/oshacowb.htm
Your daughter could have potential as an OSHA engineer. Just kidding
Comment by Dobovedo | 10.6.2009 | 8:41 pm
Let me know when these are ready for pre-order.
Comment by Jenni Laurita | 10.6.2009 | 8:57 pm
I would think she would have drawn standing lenticular clouds. Maybe that’s just me.
GO KATIE- Please draw more!!!
Comment by Dan O | 10.6.2009 | 9:05 pm
Nice. I could use of these for the Seattle winter. Are windshield wipers an option?
Comment by Slowdad | 10.6.2009 | 9:24 pm
This is brilliant! Gary Fischer will likely be incorporating the moose antlers, the 22″ wheels, and battery powered heaters, into the 2011 line.
I commend you on developing children such that they are constantly on the lookout to solve engineering challenges that their parents face.
As a Dad, I will use this post to shame my children into being better designers and innovators.
Or, more likely, I’ll pay more attention to their art.
Best Post Ever.
Comment by Beast Mom | 10.6.2009 | 10:18 pm
I like how she made your head look it’s sitting on a tiny plunger. She’s awesome.
-bm
Comment by kellene | 10.6.2009 | 10:36 pm
Simply brilliant. And the moose antler thing might catch on. I would use them.
Comment by Shawn | 10.6.2009 | 10:54 pm
Awesome! I laughed myself to tears! :)
Comment by buckythedonkey | 10.7.2009 | 12:55 am
I think that Katie is well on the way to designing that recumbent you so obviously desire. Lay the pilot flat and that roof can come down a little more.
Top marks!
Comment by sarah | 10.7.2009 | 1:13 am
that was awesome. thanks for sharing, fatty family!
Comment by Chris Deacon | 10.7.2009 | 4:19 am
Regarding the wheels, I very much like the fact that the spokes go right through the rims acting as snow spikes.
Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 10.7.2009 | 4:44 am
I have an 8 year old daughter who also doesn’t know her own boundaries. Or what side her bread is buttered on.
My mother, my daughter’s Nan, left a note when she visited today while all and sundry were out at school/work (which is also school since we’re both teachers). She does this often… the notes and the visiting an empty house. This is due to the absolute awesomeness of my mother (and it’s a swift end and a shallow grave for anyone who questions her level of awesomeness) who spends an inordinate amount of her retirement cleaning and babysitting for 6 grandchildren in the care of 5 lazy parents.
Here’s where my daughter needs to tidy up her act.
Mum’s note went something like this:
Blah, blah, blah. You filthy mongrels. Then I cleaned some more, blah, blah, blah. Quite disgusting really, blah, blah, blah.
luv Nan
And Jasmine has written “luv is not a word. Next time use a dictionary nanny.”
Comment by Saso | 10.7.2009 | 6:11 am
There is a large hematome on your left hand. Pls have it checked ASAP for your safety. You really shouldn’t be taking so much EPO as your blood may simply condense.
(Just curious if all that EPO is teh reason for your recent period of a good form.)
Comment by MattC | 10.7.2009 | 8:00 am
I believe she made it a fixie so that you can back it out from wherever you park it. Reverse gear on the aquarium bike…BRILLIANT! Just make sure that you use proper torque values on the moose horns…they are prone to cracking if you overtorque. And believe me, you DON’T want moosehorn slippage! Having a moosehorn penetrage your spleen would NOT be pleasant!
Comment by Bob | 10.7.2009 | 8:26 am
Very cool! She apparently got her creativity from her Mom and her engineering skills from her Dad!
I actually love the idea of front-wheel drive, but we need some detail on the CV joints.
Bob
Comment by MattC | 10.7.2009 | 8:33 am
oops…that was supposed to be ‘penetrate’ your spleen.
And btw, ’spleen’ is another one of those strange words that just sounds bad. It like it’s a noise made by someone in the throes of agony.
“whats wrong honey, you look sick”.
“uugggghghhhh…itt’sss…mmmyyyyy……ssssplleeeeennnnnnn….I was stabbed by a moosehorn”.
Comment by Steve | 10.7.2009 | 9:07 am
Dear Katie,
Your drawing is a very good one! And your ideas for keeping your father warm are very clever.
But it is clear that your father did not take the time to really study your drawing in detail. Did he? Those things that he calls moose antlers are really his hands and arms, aren’t they? There have been 84 people so far making comments to your dad’s article about your drawing clever ideas, and none of them recognized your talent for capturing his non-too-pretty cycling arms. He thinks very highly of his legs, but I agree with you–his arms need a lot of work!
Katie, I want you to go to your father right now and say this: “Daddy, I think that you need to take a class in children’s art appreciation.” But be sure to give him a big hug and tell him you love him despite his faults –and his ugly arms.
Sincerely,
Your friend Steve
Comment by MattC | 10.7.2009 | 10:11 am
And hey…just noticed this, but it appears Katie very thoughtfully mounted the headset/moosebars on an articulating beam of some sort, assumingly to accomadate riders with varying arm/torso lengths. Truly a one size fits all concept. Bike Mfrs will be quick to jump on this concept if you don’t get it patented fast. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Comment by iammykl | 10.7.2009 | 12:21 pm
Fatty, your daughter is to be praised for her concern about your safety and comfort. Her design, however, raises many questions. Regarding the finer details, what is the frame made of? What kind of material is she using for the windows? Plexi-glass? Clear vinyl with zippers? Clear plastic wrap? There are certain advantages to either of these. The floor board, is there one? To increase lateral stability, the absence of a floor board allows one to prop themselves upright using their feet. Furthermore, standing allows for higher clearance. Areodynamically speaking, could the front be tapered to assist with time trialing? The box frame might hinder one from setting speed records. Lastly, is it roof rack compatible?
Thanks!
Comment by Jenn | 10.7.2009 | 1:01 pm
Insanely cute. And yes, moose antlers (or caribou for that matter) are darn heavy.
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[...] following is from fatty’s A Review of My Daughter’s Cold-Weather Bicycle Plan; I returned from my ride to two worried little girls. The idea of dad riding out in the snow was [...]
Comment by Flying Ute | 10.7.2009 | 1:03 pm
I realize I have been falling short in reviewing my kids homework.
Man, I have gotta pick up the pace.
Good work fatty.
Comment by RosieRider | 10.8.2009 | 7:46 am
Some of us plan to swing by on Saturday with some metal and our welding tools and we’ll get that that whipped together in a coupe of hours. So can you make sure Katie’s got the revised drawing ready? And have some bagels and lemonade ready when we need a snack?
Comment by Tom | 10.9.2009 | 8:18 am
Those wheels by be 22″ers but they most def look like blades 6 spokers.
Comment by Ecnarfi | 10.10.2009 | 7:52 am
I really must complain about this article. While I can find no fault in your parenting skills, you clearly show a lack of consideration for readers who have recently undergone surgery. Here I sit with a recently repaired hernia, and your claustrophobia comment nearly made my sides literally split!
Comment by Uncle Bob | 10.11.2009 | 3:53 pm
A velomobile!?! Noooooo! Down that path lies madness.
Comment by Salvia | 10.13.2009 | 5:07 pm
Excellent bikes man! Great bike design of your daughters over there, I’m in Milwaukee and riding a bike at night with this cold weather makes me wish that design to be already made, I guess I’ll have to wait til it’s realized.