A Note from Fatty: Drew Carey has made a couple of impressive commitments:
- If he gets 100,000 followers on his Twitter account by November 9, he’ll donate $100,000 to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.
- If he gets 1,000,000 followers on his Twitter account by the end of the year, he’ll donate $1,000,000 to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.
Oh, and you can follow me, too. Though I’ll sometimes forget about the existence of Twitter for days and not update, I will occasionally let something interesting slip in Twitter before it shows up in the blog.
I just thought you should know that you are going to be heading out tomorrow for the 24 Hours of Moab. And while it looks like it’s just one race, it’s actually a lot more than that. It’s more like you’re doing six or seven races, since that’s how many times you’ll be going out. And it’s a big self-supported camping trip. And it’s in the sandy desert, which is really hard on bikes. And half of the race is at night, which means it’s going to be cold and dark part of the time.
And, in your case, the logistics are even more entertaining because you’ve got to arrange for what the kids are doing — going to Grand Junction to stay with Grandpa — in addition to all of your own stuff.
In short, Fatty, you’ve got a few things to consider for this event. I just thought I’d write and let you know what some of those things are.
How to Race
While your team will be racing for 24 hours, Fatty, you will not be. You will be racing for 12 miles, then having a longish break while your three teammates take their turns doing a lap.
So I hereby give you permission to open it up on the laps. Race each lap like it’s the only one you’re going to do.
However, I do not give you permission to try to ride Nosedive hill. Because while you think you are technically strong now, in reality you are not. And when you are in race mode, you are not thinking that way anyway.
In short, ride out of your noggin, but only to the extent that you remain upright.
What to Bring
And now we arrive at the important part of this letter, Fatty: the list of stuff you need to remember to bring. Your readers will very likely find everything from this point forward this either the most interesting and useful, or most boring and useless, post you have ever written.
Luckily for you, this is their problem, not yours.
For The Twins
The twins will be staying with Grandpa, who will be taking them fossil hunting, fishing, and to church. So:
- dresses + shoes
- hiking shoes
- socks: 3pr ea
- warm weather clothes
- cool weather clothes
- food: the weird stuff that they always want that Grandpa for sure won’t have on hand
- Art stuff for in the car
- Books for nighttime reading
- Brush, soap, shampoo, toothbrushes, toothpaste
You’ll be spending much more time at the camp than racing, so you may want to consider bringing the following items, which I am not listing in any particular order, since you have the least-organized mind in the whole world:
- A camp chair
- Hygiene stuff: think about others! Deodorant (!!!), toothbrush, toothpaste, about a million baby wipes, Purell by the quart, Listerine
- a blanket
- a sleeping bag
- hats for sun, hats for cold
- Stuff to eat. Spam, maybe?
Since this is a bike race, you may want to bring your bike stuff.
- 2 bikes, both the Singlefly and the Waltworks. Aren’t you glad you have 2 high-end rigid singlespeeds? Redundancy is your friend.
- Floor pump
- Lock and cable
- Bottles. Lots and lots of bottles
I know, Fatty, that you would prefer to do this 24 hour race as a noncontiguous pair of daylight races. This is not how it’s going to happen. You’re going to need stuff to help you see around.
- Princeton Tec light setup (which has arrived and is super-sweet. Thanks, Princeton Tec!)
You know what happens when you keep eating and changing clothes over and over during the course of a 24 hour period? You accumulate trash and stinky clothes, that’s what.
- Trash bags
- Dirty clothes bags
Cooking and Food Stuff
Your big secret this year — for how you’ve lost weight while still feeling like you have a huge amount of energy on the bike — is simple. Eggs. Specifically, lots of egg whites. You should probably post about how many egg whites you’re currently going through weekly and how you prepare them. Because they seem to be magic. Anyways:
- 2 Dozen Eggs
- Frying pan
- Loaf of bread
- Shot Bloks
- Peanut butter
- Knives, forks, spatula
- Ice chests, duh
Clothes for On the Bike
What? Not riding naked? Chicken.
- Helmet cam
- Batteries for helmetcam
- Lots and lots of gloves, all different thicknesses. Aren’t you glad you don’t have to try to shift with those gloves on?
- Glasses: bring everything you own that says “Oakley” on it
- Under-helmet beanie
- Shoes: Specialized and Sidis
- Every jersey, jacket, vest, and pair of shorts you own, basically.
- Socks: thin socks for day, wool for night
Clothes for Off the Bike
- light shirts
- heavy shirts
- heavy shoes
- hat for sun
You sure need a lot of stuff. Good luck on this race, Fatty.
The Fat Cyclist