An Open Cover Letter to Johan Bruyneel

12.3.2009 | 9:48 am

As a middle-aged man, I cannot help but wonder whether I have made good choices in my life. Am I doing all I can with my life? Have I chosen the correct path? Or is there something more I could — and should — be doing?

These are the kinds of questions that keep a man up late at night. Pondering. Wondering.

It was during just such a session of personal introspection that I decided: I need a career change. And the career I have chosen is: Professional Cyclist.

As a man of action, I immediately set to work, updating my resume and finding out the top-tier teams I would most like to join.

After considerable research, I decided that I want to join Team Radio Shack. It’s a new team, so I feel I could really put my stamp on it; make it my own. Plus, I really like walkie talkies and pens that are also lasers.

I am highly confident that I will soon be a Professional Cyclist. So confident, in fact, that I am going to take you on my journey toward professional cyclist-dom even as it happens.

It all begins with sending my resume and cover letter to the manager of the team, As shown below.

Dear Mr. Bruyneel,

Please find attached my resume and press clip portfolio. I think they’ll go a long way toward showing you that I am an experienced and capable professional with both focus and drive.

I’d like to take a moment of your time to briefly summarize why I am applying for the position of Professional Cyclist at Team Radio Shack.

First of all, I am a team player. In my current job — Product Manager at an IT research and analysis firm — I have been in the position of both managing and participating in large teams, initiating large initiatives and driving them to completion. I feel this would be a valuable skill in a professional cyclist. While I cannot guarantee that I would be first across the finish line in every race, I can promise you that I would be able to work with other team members to ensure that they knew their own responsibilities as well as my own status at any given point in time.

Next, I have excellent communication skills. I am highly proficient at every Microsoft Office product, with particular emphasis in Word, Excel, and PowerPoint, and have given literally hundreds of presentations in the course of my career. If, at some point during a training ride or race, you or anyone else came up with an idea that needed to be presented before the team, I am your guy.

I am a fast learner. While it is true that at this point I have never won a professional-level bicycle race (to be candid, I have never won a sport-class local race, either), I learn quickly by observing others in the workplace. I have no doubt that after watching how other professional cyclists win races, I would be able to emulate their behavior and win races as well.

I take my job seriously. As I begin to accumulate “palmares” (you’ll note that I am already beginning to learn terms specific to the cycling world!), I would always acknowledge those who made it possible, including you. Further, I would never showboat across the finish line, throwing my hands in the air as if the victory belonged to me alone. Frankly I find that behavior unnecessarily self-focused and not conducive to a productive environment in the workplace.

I am willing to travel, within reason. I completely understand that this job requires some travel, and you have my assurance that this will not be a problem for me, as long as I am able to keep my “away” days to a maximum of three days per month, with the understanding that I need to be home with my kids on the weekends.

I am experienced. I have noticed that — with one notable exception — most of your riders are in their late twenties and early thirties. I believe that I can help fill the “experience gap” you have almost certainly observed in your team. As a 43-year-old man, I have twenty years in the professional world and can act as a mentoring figure to other team members who are still just getting started with their careers.

I have contacts in the industry. I don’t want to brag, but I have exchanged email with people at a number of bike-related companies, including Gary Fisher, Ibis, and Masi. I also have an in with the guys at Pro Bar, and might be able to help you get a discount. In these uncertain economic times, I think this could really help. And I am personally acquainted with a couple of really excellent jersey designers; I think I could get them to bump you up in their design queue.

I interview well, and have a sizable vocabulary, plus I am an excellent speller. I don’t want to seem boastful, but I was an alternate for my junior high school in the annual county spelling bee thirty years ago.

I am an Eagle Scout. I think that speaks for itself.

I’m a big fan of Radio Shack. I am a bit of an electronics DIY guy, and a few years ago, one of my sons and I actually built a robot from scratch, following instructions in a book and using parts primarily found at Radio Shack. How many of your (other) team members can say that?

Finally — and I think this is an important point — I really enjoy riding bikes. I think that will really shine through when cameras inevitable hone in on me.

I look forward to hearing back from you and to joining your team. Thank you for your time.

Kind Regards,

The Fat Cyclist

I am, as you might expect, very excited to receive his reply. I will keep you updated as events warrant.


  1. Comment by Erik | 12.3.2009 | 11:19 am

    Eagle Scout. Enough said. You’re hired.

  2. Comment by Ryan in the Rock | 12.3.2009 | 11:19 am

    You forgot to mention your aerodynamic haircut, which would save on not having to buy pricey helmets for time trials.

  3. Comment by yeagerspacey | 12.3.2009 | 11:20 am

    How could he not hire you? That’s the best cover letter I’ve ever read.

  4. Comment by OldManUtah | 12.3.2009 | 11:24 am

    Team Fat Radioshack. I think it has a nice ring to it. Go Fatty! I would even swith to comcast to watch versus and TFR at the TdF.

  5. Comment by Clericeric | 12.3.2009 | 11:28 am

    And Radioshack is moving their corporate identity to just “The Shack.” So the team name would be even more awesome as OldManUtah pointed out – Team Fat Shack. Who wouldn’t want to ride for them?

  6. Comment by gregor rohda | 12.3.2009 | 11:30 am

    Seriously, if you dont get with THE SHACK i think you should start a cover letter writing shop. call it something like, and start signing up folks today!

  7. Comment by Jonathan Vaughters | 12.3.2009 | 11:35 am

    You should know that Johan has a thing about robots.
    If things don’t work out, what do you think about argyle?

  8. Comment by SurlyCommuter | 12.3.2009 | 11:38 am

    You forgot to add your considerable “live-blogging” skills. A considerable asset to those left dazed and confused by the lack of Twitter updates from one particular member of the FatShack team.

  9. Comment by bikemike | 12.3.2009 | 11:39 am

    It has been many years since i have, uncontrollably, wet my pants (probably since infancy or the first grade). Today i must start a new quest for not peeing myself. Apparently massive laughter does this.

    I will also keep a backup pair of pants at work from now on. Thank you.

  10. Comment by DOM | 12.3.2009 | 11:42 am

    I vaguely recall you having some sort of connection to some bike rider from Texas, but I’m fuzzy on the details since you rarely mention it. If only he had some sort of connection to Bruyneel…

  11. Comment by hak1308 | 12.3.2009 | 11:43 am

    Hi Eldon,
    AMazingly funny. Too funny! I was on the floor rolling. Hey I am 43 too! Do you think he could take another 43 year old? Should I apply as well? I am a fast learner too. Hey Lance might recommend me as I just saw/(met) him at his book signing on Monday!
    Keep it comming!

  12. Comment by KanyonKris | 12.3.2009 | 11:43 am

    Certainly the job is yours. There’s no way Johan can resist your experience, skills, persuasive logic and charisma. That’s all it takes to get any job.

    And if anything you’re over-trained. I hear pro cyclists only workout a few hours a week.

    You forgot to mention your fund-raising skills, not that team Radio Shack will need that.

  13. Comment by Jenni Laurita | 12.3.2009 | 11:47 am

    No mention of your massive quads? Or your supremely awesome ability to take massive amounts of pain should you crash?

    What about your skill at packing snacks for the rest of the team?

  14. Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 12.3.2009 | 11:49 am

    If nothing else, they should hire you to do PR. You have all the business experience and cycling enthusiasm to do an amazing job!

  15. Comment by Jim G | 12.3.2009 | 11:55 am

    Keep me in the loop – I’m currently unemployed and have also been considering a new career as a Senior Professional Cyclist. Maybe, if you crack the glass ceiling, both of us can push on through. If that does not work, could you help me with my cover letter?

  16. Comment by Kathleen@ForgingAhead | 12.3.2009 | 11:57 am

    I agree, all you really need to be a pro cyclist is to love riding. That whole fitness thing is terribly overrated. Can’t wait to hear what Johan says!

  17. Comment by thom p. | 12.3.2009 | 12:00 pm

    At the very least you’ll land an unpaid internship. Y’know, fetching coffee from the team car, making copies, shaving Lance’s legs, shaving Horner’s head…and Levi’s head (beats the hell out of being a rookie Sumo wrestler and having to help the veteran Sumos don their giant-sumo-diapers).

    Eventually perhaps you’ll have enough clout on the team to have an unpaid intern shave your head.


  18. Comment by wishiwasmerckx | 12.3.2009 | 12:12 pm

    In your letter, you forgot to mention purple snipe.

  19. Comment by Clydesteve | 12.3.2009 | 12:39 pm

    Fatty, I hope you have not sent this off yet. You need one more link in the resume to sell your cycling cred to Johann.

    When you say “…I really enjoy riding bikes. I think that will really shine through when cameras inevitable hone in on me. in the last paragraph, I believe you should include a link to prove your point.

  20. Comment by dieselmike | 12.3.2009 | 1:01 pm

    This is all too funny. The comments are almost as good. The clydesteve link made my coworkers wonder WTH I am doing in my office.

  21. Comment by Philly Jen | 12.3.2009 | 1:09 pm


    Join Team Fatty. In Philly. ‘Cuz we have more and better Belgian brewpubs than anywhere else in America. We’ll take you out for mussels, frites, and chimay.

    Or cheesesteaks.

  22. Comment by Jeff L. | 12.3.2009 | 1:28 pm

    Your a shoe in for Team RadioFat…or simply “The Fat.”

  23. Comment by Dr. Lammler | 12.3.2009 | 1:29 pm

    KanyonKris (11:43am) raises a good point regarding your ability to raise huge amounts of money.

    If it doesn’t work out with Team Radio Shack, don’t despair. Apply to Team Astana. Your financial talents will save the team and Alberto will be grateful. He will be delighted to have you as a colleague.

    Come to think of it, Johan might be delighted if you were on Astana. Don’t kill the messenger.

  24. Comment by Haven (KT) | 12.3.2009 | 1:35 pm

    What, no mention of your super power?? No mention of your patented helmet-mounted mayo-packet snack system?

    I think you’d be a shoe-in, as you already have legions of devoted fans who have already shown they are ready to drop serious coin for a cause. Johan could spin that towards the Shack if he had you on the team. Not really, but you know, dangle that out there and see what happens.

    Lance was on John Stewart’s show last night. Good interview regarding Lance’s new book, “It’s Not About the Bike Again” or whatever it’s called.

  25. Comment by jeff | 12.3.2009 | 1:46 pm

    If this doesn’t work out, I may have some work for you in the robot-building area.

  26. Comment by TomE | 12.3.2009 | 2:06 pm

    Quite possibly the best cover letter EVER. I’m going to use this next time I need a job and just insert my name in the appropriate areas!!! Hey – where was the resume???

  27. Comment by 100poundsago | 12.3.2009 | 2:11 pm

    There is no possible way you could have known how much I needed a laugh today.

  28. Comment by Fabian Cancellara | 12.3.2009 | 2:14 pm

    Hey Fat Cyclist, it is me Fabian Cancellara, I am a big fan of yours ever since you passed me in the Tour Suisse Time Trial stage last year. I did not see you coming, you have got some wheels. If Bruyneel is not interested, I am sure Team Saxo Bank would be willing to bow to your demands. Give me a call.

  29. Comment by Johan | 12.3.2009 | 2:16 pm


    Please elaborate on your past history of doping control evasion and then please resubmit.


  30. Comment by Bryan (not that one) | 12.3.2009 | 2:26 pm

    You should add your willingness to cook delicious post-race bratwurst. Oh, and dipping Oreos in peanut butter for dessert.

  31. Comment by Bicycle Bill | 12.3.2009 | 3:01 pm

    Send that, and remember to include a copy of this picture:
    That is not the face of a man to be trifled with.

    Johan will give you whatever it is you ask for.


  32. Comment by Bicycle Bill | 12.3.2009 | 3:02 pm

    Send that, and remember to include a copy of this picture:
    That is not the face of a man to be trifled with.

    Johan will give you whatever it is you ask for.


  33. Comment by Powerful Pete | 12.3.2009 | 3:06 pm

    Wow. Cannot wait to see you in Team Fat Shack kit.

    That letter convinced me… do let us know about the financial offer Johan makes!

  34. Comment by JB | 12.3.2009 | 3:20 pm

    Cher Fat Cyclist,

    I am honored that you have selected Team Radio Shack for your first professional cycling team. Nearly the entire team knows of your cycling prowess and your outstanding acumen in communication.

    We are excited with the possibility of having such a unique individual as a member of our team. In fact, we have created a position for you as unique as you are: Super Domestic. Please note the spelling as there is a distinction between “Domestique” and “Domestic” as used in your new job description.

    Our current Super Domestiques will include, depending on the particular tour and our team strategy for that event, Andreas Klöden, Levi Leipheimer, Yaroslav Popovych, Gert Steegmans, and even Lance Armstrong (riding for Levi in the Amgen Tour of California). You will however, be our only Super “Domestic.”

    Your duties will fit in with your stated strengths.
    1) Shopping: Since you are obviously well-connected in the cycling world and can negotiate discounts (or even have merchandise comp’d to us) we will put you in charge of procurement. After all, the more you save the team, the more I can take home in bonuses.
    2) Vocabulary: As you are aware, most of our team members speak (or attempt to speak) English as a second–or third, or fourth, or fifth–language. With your extensive vocabulary in the English language, we will put you in charge of our “Communications with the English-speaking Media” training course. This will of course be most useful when our team competes in America, which also makes your demand of being home on weekends easy to meet.
    3) Lance’s personal speech writer. As you might remember, Lance had difficulty with a teammate last year who was brash, boastful, arrogant, and generally a pain in the “popa” (as Yaroslav likes to say). This particular individual was not invited to remain with Lance and ride Team Radio Shack this year and in fact will be riding for the same team he rode for last year, which will make him a direct competitor of not only Lance, but Team Radio Shack as well. So, the bottom line is that we know that Lance has been known in the past to make pejorative comments to or about a competitor or in this aforementioned individual’s case, a teammate. Of course Lance never does this without first being seriously provoked. However, therein lies the problem. Lance will certainly be provoked by this individual this year, so we would like you to use your wit and technical use of the language to give Lance some specific lines to use with the media that will in fact be disparaging to this individual, but be so subtle that this individual will not be able to understand that he has just been deprecated–which shouldn’t be difficult considering his intellectual capabilities.
    4) Eagle Scout Training. As most of our team is young, we feel that it would be advantageous if all of Team Radio Shack were to join the Boy Scouts and eventually attain the level of Eagle Scout. We know this means that they will have to start at the rank of Tenderfoot, but this designation will help them understand their need to grow and learn.
    5. Medical Assistant. This would only be in the case where a team member sustains the dreaded Purple Snipe Contusion (PSC), in which case you will assist them in applying their topical medications.

    As far as actually riding with us, we have unfortunately seen the well-publicized photos of you and Lance riding together at the Austin LIVESTRONG Challenge and we feel that for Team Radio Shack’s public image as a Pro Cycling team that we probably should hold off until you have learned to ride a pro class road bike well before we add you to any of our race rosters. The organizers of the Tour de France are still looking for any excuse to ban Lance and his team(s) and the specter of having an entire pro cycling team lining up for the first stage of the Tour with baskets and handle bar tassels on the front of their bikes would be an additional embarrassment to an organization already seen as being “Mickey Mouse”. Although, now that I think of it, adding Mickey Mouse ears to our helmets might just be a statement we could make that would be subtle enough to work…

    Let me be the first to congratulate you. Welcome aboard!



  35. Comment by cyclingjimbo | 12.3.2009 | 3:21 pm

    You realize, of course, that the ‘Mo’ will have to go – can’t tolerate the extra drag out there in the stages. Shame. Awesome Mo. Let it grow back after you retire from your professional racing career.

  36. Comment by JB | 12.3.2009 | 3:25 pm

    Too late Fabian, we already have dibs on him.


  37. Comment by Mikeonhisbike | 12.3.2009 | 3:41 pm

    Why are you messing with The Shack? Why not start up the pro “Team Fatty”. I’m sure the UCI will grant you a racing license. I’m sure that the organizers of the TdF would also love to have you and your team.

  38. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 12.3.2009 | 4:24 pm

    A shoe-in !

  39. Comment by Marrock | 12.3.2009 | 4:54 pm

    In the line: “I really enjoy riding bikes. I think that will really shine through when cameras inevitable hone in on me.” shouldn’t that be “inevitably”?

    That’s going to cost you some points in the judging…

  40. Comment by SSMT | 12.3.2009 | 6:11 pm

    when you join the Boy Scouts you don’t start out as a Tenderfoot. After joining, said Boy Scout needs to show that they can memorize and regurgitate a whole bunch of Boy Scout info, then they receive the rank of “Scout”, Tenderfoot comes next. Also, the whole being an Eagle Scout is a double edged sword, while you are a member of a small group of individuals (self included) who have displayed a variety of skills (leadership, organization, and determination), you also get lumped together with jackasses like Charles Manson and Bernie Madoff.

  41. Comment by DS | 12.3.2009 | 6:30 pm

    Fatty, please write about this. It’s ridiculous.

  42. Comment by Frank | 12.3.2009 | 8:01 pm

    Hey Elden,
    Johan read your post and asks people for their opinion about this on Facebook. I hope I could convince him to hire you.

    Also Mikeonhisbike made a good point. Lets create our own 40+ pro team! I’ll be willing to get on board and race all these kids on bikes. Allez!

  43. Comment by bubba seadog | 12.3.2009 | 8:14 pm

    keep your day job ..fatty your kids have to eat

  44. Comment by Andy Carpenter | 12.3.2009 | 8:28 pm

    Hey Fatty. I put in the good word for you on Johann’s Facebook page. Hope it works out.

  45. Comment by Zed | 12.3.2009 | 9:58 pm

    “I also have an in with the guys at Pro Bar, and might be able to help you get a discount.”

    Dude, how could you forget to mention CarboRocket?!

  46. Comment by Sanborn | 12.4.2009 | 1:24 am

    Beautiful. They would be crazy not to find a place for you. One minor glitch: did you actually mis-spell “inevitable”? No big deal your real value added is on the road, right! Ed

  47. Comment by Mike Roadie | 12.4.2009 | 6:37 am

    Palmares! Palmares!


  48. Comment by Aaron Davidson | 12.4.2009 | 6:40 am

    Best of luck on your new adventure. Seriously. Keep the mustache as it shows your true level of seriousness.

  49. Comment by Brent Moore | 12.4.2009 | 7:22 am

    Typos are always a faux pas in cover letters.
    ” when cameras inevitable hone in on me”


  50. Comment by Marilyn | 12.4.2009 | 7:52 am

    Fatty, I think you are going to need a personal assistant for your new position as I am willing to take the job!!! If we could just get paid for riding our bikes life would be great!!!

  51. Comment by Claire | 12.4.2009 | 8:34 am

    As someone who has written far too many job applications in her lifetime, I find this post both hilarious and far too close to the bone :)

  52. Comment by Boomer | 12.4.2009 | 8:49 am

    You could be a team mascot or a model of biking perfection for others to emulate:

    “model: noun, a representation, generally in miniature, to show the construction or appearance of something.”

    OK, maybe not…

  53. Comment by Dan O | 12.4.2009 | 10:26 am

    I got my Garmin Slipstream bottles the other day, too bad I can’t open the box until until Christmas, I don’t even know how many are in the box as my wife ordered them for me.

    My Hematologist/oncologist spent some time working at the Huntsman Center before coming to Denver. So I was glad to support the Huntsman Center.

    I’ll be riding in Austin again next year!

  54. Comment by joe blow | 12.4.2009 | 10:29 am

    Dear Mr. Cyclist,

    We appreciate your interest in team radio shack. Unfortunately, our insurance company has informed us that we cannot afford to add you to our policy. They cited as a primary reason that you crashed in each of the last two Leadville 100 races. But, we can use your skills. Your son and you are invited to construct a robot cyclist who will join the team. All parts must be purchased at our sponsor’s store, and no credit (aside from the attached $25 gift card), will be given. You must also purchase the extended warranty, if offered. In return, we will send you some “Tour used” tires, suitable for framing, but not for actual use.

    Your in Cycling,


  55. Comment by tired | 12.4.2009 | 11:26 am

    dude, get a life. your wasting your time with all that blog sh…

  56. Comment by Dave | 12.4.2009 | 11:52 am

    Do boy scouts learn how to use syringes and transfuse blood?

  57. Comment by Donna | 12.4.2009 | 12:41 pm

    Not sure what was funnier, your letter or the responses. Thanks!

  58. Comment by Les | 12.4.2009 | 1:37 pm

    Looks like you got your shot! Good luck.

  59. Comment by SlowDad | 12.4.2009 | 1:39 pm

    Yay! You’ve got it! Cool!

  60. Comment by SlowDad | 12.4.2009 | 1:43 pm

    Sorry for the repeat link. We’ve got to band together and get our man to camp!

  61. Comment by Shimmy | 12.4.2009 | 1:43 pm

    Viva le Johan!

    Viva le Fatcyclist!

    You can do it! omg this is fantastic.

  62. Comment by orangekathy | 12.4.2009 | 1:44 pm

    wow. Johan responded. We can send you to camp man! :D

  63. Comment by NYCCarlos | 12.4.2009 | 1:44 pm

    Holy crap. 20k in 7 days? Think you can pull we can pull it off folks?

  64. Comment by Brandy | 12.4.2009 | 1:45 pm

    DO IT FATTY!!!

  65. Comment by Surfman | 12.4.2009 | 1:47 pm

    FC Good luck. I made my contribution to LiveStrong in honor of my wife who completed chemo and radiation in July.
    Send pics from Camp!

  66. Comment by Natasha P | 12.4.2009 | 1:57 pm

    Saw Johan’s response to your letter. Best of luck with your taining in Arizona next week, and more importantly with your fundraising! A Trek Madone! Freakin’ sweet!

  67. Comment by Cheryl | 12.4.2009 | 2:03 pm

    WOW, Johan is a tough cookie…..Can you do it????

  68. Comment by kingsbridgedr | 12.4.2009 | 2:05 pm

    Awesome!! The gauntlet has been thrown down by both Johan and Fatty!! We’ll add to the fun! Fatty, I’ve been trying to get you to email me for a couple weeks… email me and we’ll donate $1,250 to your cause!!!


  69. Comment by Scott | 12.4.2009 | 2:12 pm

    I just donated for you so here’s hoping you get that
    Trek Madone.

  70. Trackback by Serving Humanity Since 1966 | 12.4.2009 | 2:16 pm

    My Kinda Gauntlet Throwing…

    One of my favorite humorous cycling bloggers, Fatty, from, wrote a recent entry to Team Radio Shack’s Sports Director, Johan Bruyneel. submitting his qualifications for a position on the squad. This was a classic blog entry from Fatty, …

  71. Comment by Dmitri | 12.4.2009 | 2:28 pm

    Just saw Johan’s responce. Good luck, man!

  72. Comment by Clara | 12.4.2009 | 2:34 pm

    Dude, you have around 5,000 followers on twitter. If each one of them donates $4, you hit the target.

    That’s $2 per charity. This can totally be done.

  73. Comment by Paula | 12.4.2009 | 2:54 pm

    Seriously Fatty, get the word out NOW! You already have like $1200 combined so far without asking for it. Imagine what you can do by asking….good luck. We are rooting for you.

  74. Comment by Peg | 12.4.2009 | 2:57 pm

    Awesome idea! Let’s get Fatty to training camp and help out 2 great foundations! Gonna go donate now!

  75. Comment by Clydesteve | 12.4.2009 | 3:06 pm

    I dont know about twitter followers, but ~400 Team Fatty 2009 team members plus readers of this blog who did not join Team Fatty would easily get him there for about $25 to each charity.

    $50 to each charity will come darn close to enough for Fatty to win me that Madone.

  76. Comment by Juls | 12.4.2009 | 3:09 pm

    Saw Johan’s Twitter update and donated straight away. We have a lot of work to do. I don’t think the trip to training camp will be a problem. We can handle that. The Madone though…we have our work cut out for us…

    Good Luck Fatty!
    And the fight goes on…

  77. Comment by Clydesteve | 12.4.2009 | 3:10 pm

    So, right now – Donate $25 – $50 or more to World Bicycle Relief here:

    And donate $25 – $50 or more to Livestrong/SendFattytoTrainingCamp here:

    Why wait? we just have 1 week.

  78. Comment by gumoore | 12.4.2009 | 3:18 pm

    Allez Fatty!

    [And thumbs up to Johan for his amazing response.]

  79. Comment by Charisa | 12.4.2009 | 4:04 pm

    Whooo hooo – you got a response! :)

  80. Comment by meatpuppet | 12.4.2009 | 4:38 pm

    Just popped 25 dineros in each fund raiser. Heres to you making the goal.

  81. Comment by Clay B | 12.4.2009 | 5:40 pm

    Just donated to both causes … you deserve this shot!

  82. Comment by Penina | 12.4.2009 | 5:49 pm

    As soon as I have some dinero, I’ll add mine. Our own personal eyes and ears into the new Team RadioShack.
    Loving that Johan is as altruistic and silly as the rest of our heroes.

  83. Comment by Lana | 12.4.2009 | 7:40 pm

    Pilly Jenn

    Unless you have feather bowling, you aren’t Belgian enough :P

    Lana “No really, I am half Belgian” Krolikowski

  84. Comment by Pat from Pine | 12.4.2009 | 7:47 pm

    Fatty, I heard about this from UltraRob’s site. I think that you have what it takes, We will get you there.

    Johan B’s reponse was more than you could have asked for or dreamed of….Make us Proud

  85. Comment by Frank | 12.4.2009 | 7:49 pm

    Philly Jen,

    I’ve lived on frites with mayo during my 4 years in Belgium and yet have to find comparable ones around here.

  86. Comment by Debbie | 12.4.2009 | 8:09 pm

    Made my donation. Good luck Fatty. Go represent all of us who would love to ride with Team Shack.

  87. Comment by Pat from Pine | 12.4.2009 | 8:11 pm

    Think MT Lemmon in your 53-15 gear for 26 miles, following the pack, up hill all the way, wearing a Team Shack jersy, and smiling all the way.

  88. Comment by Greg S. | 12.4.2009 | 9:32 pm

    Has to be the greatest blog exchange I’ve read all year! Way to go Elden! (and Johan too) Let’s get the money coming in and send Fatty to camp!

  89. Pingback by amused | gaylie-girl | 12.4.2009 | 11:10 pm

    [...] On December 3, Elden “Fatty” Nelson, also known as the Fat Cyclist, posted an open letter to Johan Bruyneel, arguing his case for why he should be considered as a professional cyclist on Team Radio Shack – see it here: [...]

  90. Comment by 21stCenturyMom | 12.5.2009 | 1:02 am

    This is fabulous. Humor, not variety is the spice of life – you are the living proof of that. Can’t wait to watch the dollars rolling in so I can read all about your experience as the Team Radio Shack Super Domestique!

  91. Comment by Claire | 12.5.2009 | 4:46 am

    Johan is a star. So too is Fatty. We’ll do everything we can to make the two of ‘em come together. Allez Elden!

  92. Comment by Kyle Bowers | 12.5.2009 | 5:35 am

    Donation in. Good luck. Fly the flag proudly for all us fat cyclists around the globe!
    Warsaw, Poland

  93. Comment by Niall @ Brisvegas | 12.5.2009 | 6:47 am

    From Facebook:
    [Johan Bruyneel] Sorry to have learned that Ben Hermans won’t be coming to camp. He broke 2 bones in his left foot.
    Fatty – your spot on the team just took a turn for the better!

  94. Comment by Lisa | 12.5.2009 | 7:33 am

    Once I get my rent paid, I’ll be donating to both. You gotta ride!

  95. Comment by SirVelo | 12.5.2009 | 7:53 am

    Doesn’t RadioShack have enough middle aged men on it’s team already?

    Well, I think Fatty should be part of the team in any way he can. So far, he’s got more class and honesty than any two-time TDF winner from Spain that I know..

  96. Comment by Kylie | 12.5.2009 | 8:18 am

    ……..waiting to see your response Fatty. You can definitely count on a contribution from my husband and I.

  97. Comment by TimK | 12.5.2009 | 10:12 am

    I’m in. We just took you to over 2,000 on WBR (awesome cause) and you haven’t even officially asked yet! Get ready to show those guys what real quads look like! Maybe they’ll give you some advice on how to tan your shins.
    Go Fatty!

  98. Pingback by It’s about Tim » What I want for Christmas. Send the Fat Cyclist to camp! | 12.5.2009 | 10:49 am

    [...] for some good causes. One of his MO’s is the tongue-in-cheek open letter. Recently he wrote a very humorous letter to Johan Bruyneel, manager of the newly-formed Team Radio Shack, in which he mentioned his many [...]

  99. Comment by TroyH | 12.5.2009 | 11:15 am

    just donated to both, you’re gonna regret those Oreos!

  100. Comment by Jenni Laurita | 12.5.2009 | 4:13 pm

    I need more details from Johann before I donate.

  101. Comment by MattyJay | 12.5.2009 | 7:34 pm

    Love it. I too am an Eagle Scout

  102. Comment by Jim | 12.5.2009 | 9:00 pm

    Yes, even the fat guy’s need to be represented out on the front line, but please don’t do it with a HOT DOG in the back pocket of your Jersey. I ride also, mostly with the C’s on the riding club, 12-16 miles per hour, the slowest riders. I hope to be at 20 by spring, I’m currently at 290 lbs. and the other day at the watering hole a couple of the guy’s were talking about getting new bikes, LIGHTER bikes maybe just a few ounces. WOW, Not only was my bike old when There’s were new, but was probably a little heavier to, I’m dieing trying to keep up. I said I’d like to get a lighter bike to, I think I’ll just lose 20 or 30 lbs. It’ll be a lot cheaper.

  103. Comment by A Reader | 12.5.2009 | 9:59 pm


    You’re getting a little too showy day by day. Since when did charity giving become so ostentatious? Such over the top display is sort of cheap, take it from a reader.

    Okay, maybe I don’t bother so much about the raising money bit, but I’m worried about you siding with crooks like Bruyneel and Armstrong in this manner. It just loses your reputation. Atleast in my mind, its going little by little.

    Hope everything else is well for you.

  104. Pingback by Will Fat Cyclist take up the challenge from Johan Bruyneel? « Sweat ‘n Gears | 12.6.2009 | 3:41 am

    [...] earlier this week he wrote a letter to Johan Bruyneel, team manager for the newly created Team Radioshack. In this letter he explains [...]

  105. Comment by Steven H. | 12.6.2009 | 9:55 am

    ”when cameras inevitable hone in on me”

    Apologies for being pedantic, but this should be ‘home’ not ‘hone’.

  106. Comment by Paula | 12.6.2009 | 10:30 am

    “Hone in”- To direct one’s attention; focus.

  107. Comment by Jay Peitzer | 12.6.2009 | 11:09 am

    Bluff called Mr. Nelson. I will be donating if for no other reason just to see you try to ride with those guys. It’s a dream come true….let’s make it happen. You must be getting somewhere you’re being included in their hate mail as well. You have my support forever buddy.


  108. Comment by Steven H. | 12.6.2009 | 11:32 am

    Paula – If you took this from, you might have seen the note beneath it: “Middle English, from Old English h?n, stone; see k?- in Indo-European roots. Hone in, alteration of home in.”

    It is incorrect, but is becoming more popular, particularly in the US. A couple of articles discuss it in depth here.

    Plus a simple google search will tell you which is more popular – 354,000 vs. 10.4 million.

  109. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Fight Cancer, Help Kids In Africa, and Win a Custom Fat Cyclist-Edition Superfly or Madone Signed by Team RadioShack | 12.6.2009 | 11:58 am

    [...] « An Open Cover Letter to Johan Bruyneel [...]

  110. Pingback by An open letter to TheFatCyclist a.k.a. Fatty « SA RideLikeAGirl’s Blog | 12.6.2009 | 12:56 pm

    [...] open letter to Johan Bruyneel really caught our eye.  We felt your writing, as well as the fact you’re an Eagle Scout, was [...]

  111. Comment by Veronica Petralia | 12.6.2009 | 1:07 pm

    Dear Fat Cyclist,

    We are excited to contact you regarding what we believe to be an outstanding counter-offer to Johan’s proposal.

    Please review our terms and let us know if this will be a preferable alternative.

    Thank you for your time,

    A. Veronica Petralia

  112. Pingback by Fatty, Johan, and You « Road Warrior | 12.7.2009 | 7:35 am

    [...] Thursday, Fat Cyclist wrote this gem of a gag resume cover letter to Johan Bruyneel (Team Radio Shack). It, alone, is worth a read, but the story continued with [...]

  113. Comment by nblatchley | 12.7.2009 | 9:59 am

    Less than $800 needed for World Cycling goal. Wow!

  114. Comment by hawkeye | 12.7.2009 | 2:19 pm

    Odds of winning the bike… almost non existant (and that is not what is important anyway). Odds of getting hysterical laughter out of anyone I show that letter to… 100%. That alone is worth the donations. Great job to all on taking a post written for laughs and turning into something that will change the lives of so many. I tip my hat…errr helmet to you.

  115. Pingback by News round up | 12.8.2009 | 7:14 am

    [...] Livestrong, with considerable success.  His most recent post met an unexpected response. In “An open cover letter to Johan Bruyneel“ he jokingly outlined his reasons why Radioshack should hire him as a rider.  Bruyneel soon [...]

  116. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » This Contest Is Now Completely, Ridiculously Awesome | 12.8.2009 | 8:41 am

    [...] Thursday I wrote a blog post in the form of a resume cover letter to Johan Bruyneel, Director of the newly-formed Team [...]

  117. Pingback by Wanna ride with Radio Shack? | Bikeridr | 12.8.2009 | 9:57 am

    [...] Cyclist, being the go getter that he is, decided to take things to the next level by drafting an open letter to Johan Bruyneel pleading his case for a spot as a ‘Professional Cyclist’ on team Radio [...]

  118. Trackback by Serving Humanity Since 1966 | 12.8.2009 | 11:41 am

    Bruyneel And Trek Throw Bigger Gauntlets…

    If you read my previous post about this, and read the links, then you know what’s going on. If you have not, then I am going to tell you.Last Thursday, cyclist/blogger/cancer-fighting-fundraiser, Elden Nelson (Fatty from wrote a tongue…

  119. Pingback by In Awe of The Fat Cyclist « – Tracy Wilkins’ Cycling Weblog | 12.8.2009 | 4:37 pm

    [...] Thursday I wrote a blog post in the form of a resume cover letter to Johan Bruyneel, Director of the newly-formed Team [...]

  120. Comment by Brad Thompson | 12.8.2009 | 6:25 pm

    I love it Eldon! I joined Team Fatty for the Livestrong challenge the day after registration opened. Now I am going out there to see if I can get some others to join the team and contribute.

    Good luck.

  121. Pingback by Remarkable « Off the Gravel Road | 12.9.2009 | 12:31 pm

    [...] If you don’t keep up with his website daily (and shame on you if you don’t), Fatty posted a mock letter late last week that was the “cover letter to his resume” to join Team RadioShack.  The [...]

  122. Pingback by Let’s talk about social networking/New Facebook privacy settings « HSNE Technology Tips & Tricks | 12.17.2009 | 11:57 am

    [...] team.. ever, raising quite near $1 million.  It doesn’t end there.  Two weeks ago Fatty made a post in jest about trying out for Team Radio Shack (i.e. Lance Armstrong’s new team).  A week later he was in Arizona riding with the team [...]

  123. Pingback by You Never Know Who’s Reading « The Adams Group Blog | 12.22.2009 | 1:14 pm

    [...] December 3, 2009, on a whim, Elden posted a resume cover letter  to Johan Bruyneel, the manager of Lance Armstrong’s newly formed professional cycling team, Team [...]

  124. Pingback by » Blog Archive » The Power of Social Networking | 12.23.2009 | 5:48 pm

    [...] A few days ago “Fatty” wrote an “Open Letter to Johan Bruyneel, who is the Director of Lance Armstrong’s new cycling team. The open letter was a joke applying for a job as a professional cyclist. You can read his cover letter here. [...]

  125. Pingback by Bicycle Info » Blog Archive » Fat Cyclist Chases his Dream | 12.28.2009 | 7:54 pm

    [...] read your letter  to the coach of that new bicycle racing team Radio Shack, and I was fairly moved.  Now, I [...]

  126. Pingback by The Fat Cyclist | 01.12.2010 | 1:40 pm

    [...] going to tell you what, because I want you to go read the story for yourself.  The first entry is here; be sure to read in chronological order.  After you’ve read all about it, you can listen to [...]

  127. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Tour of California Stage 7: Backseat Driver Report, Part I | 05.24.2010 | 7:12 am

    [...] An Open Cover Letter to Johan Bruyneel [...]

  128. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Tour of California Stage 7: Backseat Driver Report, Part II | 05.25.2010 | 5:20 am

    [...] right place, and has a mind that lets him make a difference. I mean, think about it: he turned a joke post I wrote back last December into a big fundraiser in the fight against cancer, a big fundraiser for World Bicycle Relief, and [...]

  129. Pingback by 3 Small Cause Campaigns That Won Big With Social Media | 09.23.2010 | 2:04 pm

    [...] Friends.It all started when Nelson sent Lance Armstrong’s racing team manager, Johan Bruyneel, an open cover letter as if he were applying for a job.Nelson, who dreamed of becoming a pro cyclist, reached out to [...]

  130. Pingback by 3 Small Cause Campaigns That Won Big With Social Media | | 09.23.2010 | 2:59 pm

    [...] all started when Nelson sent Lance Armstrong’s racing team manager, Johan Bruyneel, an open cover letter as if he were applying for a [...]

  131. Pingback by 3 Small Cause Campaigns That Won Big With Social Media | ISHIR Digital | 09.27.2010 | 3:47 am

    [...] all started when Nelson sent Lance Armstrong’s racing team manager, Johan Bruyneel, an open cover letter as if he were applying for a [...]

  132. Comment by Deborah | 12.19.2010 | 5:18 am

    Your cover letter is sheer brilliance! It did though take me an hour to read it all the way through. I even had to take time out to close all the doors and windows in my house lest my neighbors be alarmed by hysterical laughter in the middle of the night and call those little men in the white coats. D

  133. Comment by Covering Letter | 07.2.2011 | 3:02 am

    I think of it, adding Mickey Mouse ears to our helmets might just be a statement we could make that would be subtle enough to work…

  134. Comment by manifest wealth | 07.16.2011 | 8:57 am

    What the heck are u talking about?! “Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » An Open Cover Letter to Johan Bruyneel”? I completely disagree! Where do you get your ideas from?


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