As a Famous Cycling Blogger, My Life Is Always Quite Glamourous

03.29.2010 | 1:36 pm

People often ask me, “Elden, how do you find time to write your blog every day? Especially since you are very handsome and famous and have several hundred 8×10 glossy photos to be autographed and mailed out each day.”

Well, what they actually say is, “You have waaaay too much time on your hands,” but I am quite sure that what they really mean is what I have written in the above paragraph.

So: Let me give you a little peek into the very chic and glamourous life I lead, which will also serve to explain why I am writing this post today.

When I Write

What many people don’t realize is that — even though I am very famous and beloved by millions (or, possibly, by fifteen people who clear their cache and reload the page quite frequently — I don’t pay much attention to stats), I still have a full-time job.

That’s right, the blog does not make enough money for me to live on. However, it now pays for my monthly electric bill and my internet service, so things are looking up.

So I generally have two opportunities to write during the day. The first comes early in the morning — I get up around five or so, and work on this blog ’til 6:30, at which point it’s time for me to get the kids moving and off to school.

Sometimes I’ve finished writing my post for the day, sometimes I haven’t — in fact, sometimes I’ve barely started, re-started, discarded the re-start, and then gone back to my original idea or resorted to working on an abandoned post I had given up on during a previous writing session.

If I haven’t finished writing, I have a second chance: lunch hour, during work.

I also generally have a third chance: I can write instead of ride, during whatever riding window I have available during the day (this window is different on different days). But I do not like to use this third chance; if I choose to write about riding instead of getting out and riding, something feels seriously messed up with my priorities.

My Surprisingly Glamourous Life

Today, though, things didn’t go so perfectly for my blog. I had a 5:30am meeting, wherein I mostly listened to other people talk about a position I might be suited for in the newly-acquired company.

Since I hope to remain employed, I found this discussion deeply interesting.

That pretty much took care of my early morning writing time.

Then, upon waking, one of the twins told me she was sick, complaining of a headache and a cough. And she had a fever. Since these are the identical symptoms two of my other kids have — within the past couple weeks — started with a day or two before being diagnosed with Strep, I connected the dots and kept her home, setting up a doctor appointment during my lunch hour for a Strep test.

She does not, by the way, have Strep. Instead, she has what I like to call “a common cold.”

There. Just like that. My two chances to write. Gone.

Almost as if I were subject to the normal interruptions and problems of you normal people.

PS: I did find fifteen minutes to write this whiney little post, though, didn’t I?


  1. Comment by josh | 03.29.2010 | 1:41 pm

    nothing wrong with a whiny little post every once in a while.

  2. Comment by SuomiTri | 03.29.2010 | 1:49 pm

    whoah. you get up at five? what time do you go to sleep? i find i need like 8 or 9 hours a night to even be functional the next day.

  3. Comment by Max | 03.29.2010 | 1:55 pm

    Dude, if you were truly committed to the cause, you’d be up at 0400. There’s at least an hour of riding/writing time in there! Of course, you’ll be flaked out by 1900, and you’ll never get to see your children again, but that’s a small price to pay for getting in extra writing/riding time.

    Good luck with the job!

  4. Comment by Justin | 03.29.2010 | 1:57 pm

    Something tells me Fatty got a dozen emails from faithful follwers requesting thier daily fix. Fatty, hopefully you get the job but it doesn’t take from you what is really important; Your blog. I mean a raise and better ‘real’ job aren’t that important when you think about it. And kids really don’t need to visit their Dr. just give ‘em some benadryl and they’ll sleep it off.

  5. Comment by Greg @ Greg Rides Trails | 03.29.2010 | 2:03 pm

    It’s good to know you deal with the same stresses that the rest of us do! Although, it is a shame that you can’t make enough money off of this excellent blog to live. I think that if someone is capable of creating content this great, they should be able to make a living at it. Then, there would be even more hilarious posts for the rest of us to enjoy!

  6. Comment by bikemike | 03.29.2010 | 2:06 pm

    ah, but it was fantastically whiney, so, it’s all good.

  7. Comment by Jeff | 03.29.2010 | 2:07 pm

    a meeting at 5:30 AM? There better have been donuts!

  8. Comment by Mike Roadie | 03.29.2010 | 2:09 pm

    Are you saying that we (your devoted public) cannot get through our day without some kind of dose of Fatty-fix???


  9. Comment by Alex | 03.29.2010 | 2:14 pm

    The thought of being conscious at 5:30am, let alone having an important meeting at that time, makes me tired. I think I need a nap now. More power to ya… gotta do what ya gotta do (even if we have to wait 24 more hours for a new post!).

  10. Comment by leroy | 03.29.2010 | 2:18 pm

    I have a simple rule: No video-conferencing from home before 8 AM.

    Even if I’m sure I’m not the only one attending the meeting in boxers. .

    Some images you can never forget.

  11. Comment by M | 03.29.2010 | 2:18 pm

    I must admit I have missed the posts, I enjoy your humor. Your public needs you!

  12. Comment by Robert | 03.29.2010 | 2:24 pm

    You write fast. Message good. Funny. Ha.

    See? That took me less than a minute!

  13. Comment by centurion | 03.29.2010 | 2:28 pm

    If anyone suggested that I attend a 5:f’n30 AM meeting, my response would likely lead to the loss of my job, and very possibly jail time.

  14. Comment by NYCCarlos | 03.29.2010 | 2:37 pm

    I go to work at 10am. Get a job here. Then you have 5 whole hours of writing/riding time before you have to work!

  15. Comment by GJ Jackie | 03.29.2010 | 2:38 pm

    Since you’re now not just a biking fat guy who writes, but a beloved, famous, fund-raising titan, internet award-winning, hall-of-fame sports blogger, surely your advertising prices have gone up? Jack-em-up again! You should at least be making your car payment out of this blog.

  16. Comment by geraldatwork | 03.29.2010 | 2:52 pm

    Taking care of your kids first and foremost is a pretty good default use of your time. No decision necessary.

  17. Comment by Mike Russell | 03.29.2010 | 3:08 pm

    And when do you find time to swim/flail?


  18. Comment by Mikeonhisbike | 03.29.2010 | 3:09 pm

    5:30am? Half of the day is gone by then. Trust me, if you wake up at 4:00am no one bothers you AT ALL.

  19. Comment by Todd | 03.29.2010 | 3:11 pm

    Meta-Blogging is Blogging 2.0.

  20. Comment by MattC | 03.29.2010 | 3:17 pm

    You need to combine your riding and writing time into ‘wriding time’ (I know you carry a blackberry)). There. Problem solved. You’re welcome. Well, except for the inevitable crashes from texting while riding. That’s not against the law yet, is it?

    And 5:30am? E-GADS Fatty! I’m already on the road to work by then! Get up at 4:25am, do all the things that need doing (and I don’t even have kids…well, not 2 legged ones anyway). I also find that if I get to bed past 10pm I’m quite cranky the next day.

    Funny…when I was a wee lad bedtime was 8pm. Hated it! Did everything in my power (and created every excuse possible) to NOT be in bed by 8. Nowdays I consider it a gift from the heavens if I can make it by 8:30. I’ve come nearly full circle it seems. Don’t want to think too hard about what’s next I’m afraid.

  21. Comment by Joe | 03.29.2010 | 3:19 pm

    5:30am MT = 7:30am on the east coast. Just a guess at the reason behind the time.

  22. Comment by Anonymous | 03.29.2010 | 3:20 pm

    It’s me, it’s me! I am fanatical about cleaning my cache. You can send me a check for those statistics because I don’t have any fancy RSS feed/google reader business set up and will check in to see if you’ve written anything new throughout the day.

    Anyway, glad you wrote. Hope you’re glad you wrote. Hope your kids are feeling better and the job thing works out.

    I wish you’d turn your super powers to the creation of more time and energy throughout the day for all beings except small children. Either that, or slow down the clock – I’d appreciate it.

  23. Comment by Nancy P | 03.29.2010 | 3:20 pm

    uh, that really was me. I just pushed go too fast.

  24. Comment by Rob | 03.29.2010 | 3:34 pm

    Would those be 8X10 colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one?

  25. Comment by NatMc | 03.29.2010 | 4:24 pm

    Um, this blog already has some of the most annoying advertising i’ve ever encountered on a non-adult site (way too much movement, roll-over, pop-up b.s. for my taste), so prolly shouldn’t jack up the prices any more…

  26. Comment by anon | 03.29.2010 | 4:48 pm

  27. Comment by Nogocyclist | 03.29.2010 | 5:49 pm

    Eldon, why did you get married? I thought the reason you get married is so you can get your spouse to do all that other stuff. Put the office meetings, sick kids, taking out the trash, etc on her. We would not even mind if you let her occasionally write the blog (aka. Tell us about the real you, that you try to conceal.)

    And yes, I am single.

  28. Comment by denise | 03.29.2010 | 7:27 pm

    Hire a ghost writer

  29. Comment by Zed | 03.29.2010 | 7:51 pm

    I’ll take it; thanks for sharing. Seriously, I’ll take whatever you decide to give. I hope you never feel at all guilty for being unable to squeeze in a post here and there. Again, thanks.

  30. Comment by roan | 03.29.2010 | 7:57 pm

    Dittos to MattC, I’ll put money (Fatty’s blog pay) that MattC is over 50.
    Ah Fatty I can’t stop myself…need a dose of your wisdom. Here’s a thought for you…how about getting the kids to write an entry for you, can they fool your savvy readers ? OOPs…that could be down right scary.

  31. Comment by Bisso | 03.29.2010 | 8:29 pm

    Good thinking Denise – some people commenting on Bike Snob NYC have already suggested you could each go halves in a an unpaid intern who can help write when doctors appointments et al get in the way

  32. Comment by Kathleen | 03.29.2010 | 9:41 pm

    Glad you found the 15 minutes as you always make me smile. Hope the new job is perfection.

  33. Comment by justrun | 03.29.2010 | 9:52 pm

    It must be because glamorous people don’t need sleep.

    Good luck with the new gig!

  34. Comment by Barb | 03.29.2010 | 10:20 pm

    Thanks for keeping your family first and still making me smile at the end of my day. Keep up the great blog and life, Fatty!

  35. Comment by Sasha | 03.29.2010 | 11:16 pm

    I love you Elden (in a purely platonic way)! You have your priorities straight! Hope the kids feel much better very soon! Good luck with getting that position!

  36. Pingback by Drop A “F” Bomb On ‘Em! – When Haters Resort To The Offense Slurs! | Hot Daily Gossip | 03.30.2010 | 4:13 am

    [...] Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » As a Famous Cycling Blogger, My Life Is Always Quite Glamou… [...]

  37. Comment by Richard | 03.30.2010 | 5:51 am

    One of the reasons for leaving the Army (a small one compared to the real ones) was so I didn’t have to do things I didn’t want to at 5.30 am.

    I now get up at 0530 to goi riding because I want to.

    Love your work, Fatty.

    Are you jelly bean jarring the first year of marriage?

  38. Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 03.30.2010 | 7:49 am

    You wrote all that in 15 minutes? You are truly more gifted at the writing than I am. I guess that’s why you’re a famous, award-winning blogger, and my site gets about 15 visits a day (not that I’m complaining – I just do it for fun)!

  39. Comment by Weaky6 | 03.30.2010 | 8:26 am

    ummmm….Elden, I thought you did not have time for your kids anymore because you got married. How can that be? Ahh shucks, you’re a dad after all. Make us dads proud why don’t ya!

  40. Comment by Alex | 03.30.2010 | 9:16 am

    NatMc- will you please do me a favor and bitch about this free content somemore. I mean I have paid way to much to today’s post. You know what else makes me mad….Those free samples at Costco. I mean really why do those FREE samples have to be so small. I demand bigger and more often free stuff.

  41. Comment by Marilla | 03.30.2010 | 10:36 am

    glamorous, not glamourous

    like the blog

  42. Comment by Marlys | 03.30.2010 | 11:12 am

    Hey Fatty! You are human and there are always some “hiccups” in some days. You just reminded us all of how much we do love your writing, but we also care about you and your family. So what? KEEP RIDING FORWARD!

  43. Comment by NatMc | 03.30.2010 | 1:17 pm

    @Alex: wasn’t complaining about the content (I love it, Fatty’s the man), just the advertising. IMHO it’s a bit much. Head over to snobland: way less intrusive.

    Oh, and “free content”? nothing’s free. the cost is the advertising. I’m just sayin’ the price is a bit steep.


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