Eat, Drink, and Have Furry Teeth

04.13.2010 | 2:23 pm

201004131044.jpgA Back-in-Stock Note from Fatty: The 2010 Fat Cyclist T-Shirts have been out of stock for a while — but they aren’t anymore. Out of stock, I mean. What I am trying to say is that Fat Cyclist T-Shirts, which were out of stock, are in stock. They are stocked. If you want one, you can buy one — or more, for that matter — and Twin Six will send it to you. From their stock.

The Fat Cyclist T-Shirts are available in Men’s sizes, in Women’s sizes, and in long-sleeved unisex sizes. And by “unisex,” I mean both sexes. Which makes “unisex” an extra-helpful term, doesn’t it?

And hey, could someone please do me a favor and tell me how many teeth that cog has? Because that looks like a really big gear.

It’s common cycling wisdom that if you are going to be riding for less than a couple hours, you just need to bring a couple bottles of water — no food.

If you’re going to be out for longer than that, you should bring your favorite sports drink. If you’re going to be out for more than three hours, you should bring food. Most importantly, if you’re going to be out for four or more hours, that food should include a can of Vienna Sausages.

I’m just kidding of course. You shouldn’t wait that long to break open the Vienna Sausages.

A Match Made in Hell

But you know what bothers me? What bothers me is that my two favorite things — eating and biking — go so poorly together. I mean, I love food. When I’m not eating, I’m thinking about eating. And after I’ve eaten, I evaluate what I’ve just eaten, often considering how I might enhance a similar experience in the future (hint: it usually involves more salt or mayonnaise).

But I don’t enjoy eating when I ride.

Consider this for a moment. In order for me to remember to eat when I’m on a long ride, I’ve set up an alert on my Garmin 500 to go off every half hour.

Yes, that’s right: I’ve set up an artificial device to make me eat. I promise you that no such device is necessary in other parts of my life.

Which is too bad, really.

The Part of Lists (Or Actually, Just One List)

There are, of course, very good reasons why my life’s central preoccupation is suddenly so unappetizing (Oh boy, a pun!) when I’m on a bike.

I shall list them.

  • Sweet sweetness: I bet I’m the first person to ever notice that most every energy gel, bar, gummy chewy, and drink is sweet. And generally, I’m OK with sweet. For a while. But after six hours of washing down a sweet gel with a sweet drink, I’m ready for something less…sweet. And trying to disguise the sweetness with flavors doesn’t work. As an experiment, try this: eat (I don’t think that’s the right word) nothing but Gu for six hours, swapping out different flavors. After that six hours has passed, eat (slurp? consume?) another Gu without taking a look at the package. Ask yourself if you know what flavor it is. Take my word for it: you won’t be able to tell. I know, I know: carbohydrates are fuel, sugar is a carbohydrate, and so sugar is an effective fuel. But you know, bread’s a carbohydrate, too, and it’s not sweet. I would like a buttered toast-flavored energy bar.
  • Stuff sticking in teeth: Energy gels and bars are specially designed to get trapped in your mouth. Energy bars with little pieces of nuts are the worst offenders, because those nuts get lodged between teeth, between teeth and gums, and in your molars. And once it’s there, no amount of swishing will get it out. Nor will hours and hours of probing with your tongue, during which time you will stop noticing anything about your ride, because you are obsessed completely with getting that stupid piece of peanut out of your teeth. And it’s not like you can pick it out with a fingernail, because you’re wearing gloves. This will become distracting to the point that you will either go insane or make an emergency call to your dentist.
  • The weird coating on your teeth: You’re riding. You’re eating gels and energy bars. You’re drinking energy drinks. And after a while, your teeth feel almost exactly the same as they would if you had never brushed them even once in your life. This phenomenon is known, technically, as “disgusting.” I have, at times, nearly wept with joy when I could finally have a post-ride tooth brushing. OK, not “nearly.”
  • Texture: Think of your favorite food. Now think of your second, third, fourth, and fifth favorite foods. Do any of them have the texture of an extra-resilient gummy bear, or of an extremely gritty bar of soap? No? Gee, I wonder why not?
  • Breathing: When, someday, I make a list of all my superpowers, “being able to breathe during an aerobic effort” will not be on that list. However, “having extremely tiny, to the point of being basically useless, nasal passages: might be on that list. Which is not a very great superpower to have, by the way. My point is, if I’m riding, my mouth is open. And if I’m eating, that’s a problem for two reasons. First, it’s super gross-looking. Second, the food falls out as I chew it, producing a hilarious “cookie monster” effect. Sadly, at this time I do not have a video of this to share.
  • Spitting: Certain energy food combinations do not play well with each other. Suppose, for example, you eat a particular energy bar and wash it down with a particular energy drink. They — to your suprise and horror — chemically bond in the same way that epoxy glue does, except the result is extra-colorful-and-thick mucus. Which is awesome to spit. At first.
  • Bad combos: Thick mucus is really a pretty mild form of bad energy food combinations. Other foods might chemically interact in very bubbly ways, but only once swallowed. And shaken. At which time, a very serious case of the loud stinky farts is the best outcome you can hope for. And I probably don’t need to explain that the worse outcomes are much, much worse. And not just for you.

I should, I think, point out a couple of very important energy food exceptions. The first is that a couple of the new Clif Bar flavors are really, really good. In particular, the White Chocolate Macadamia Nut bar is delicious enough that I recently caught The Runner eating one recreationally.

The other exception is what I think may be the most perfect on-bike energy food ever created: The Salted Nut Roll. They don’t melt or get squashed in your jersey. They aren’t just pure sweetness, thanks to the brilliantly complementary taste of the marshmallowy stuff (“nougat,” I believe they call it) and the peanuts. They’re carbs and protein. And you can find them in every convenience store I’ve ever been to.   

And when — inevitably — half of it falls out of your mouth as you try to open-mouth-chew it, well, some squirrel out there is going to think that’s just awesome.

PS: Remember back when Fisher Bikes put up a special Fat Cyclist Edition of the Gary Fisher Superfly as one of the prizes for the “Help Fatty Ride with Team RadioShack” contest? And Roger L. won the bike? Well, it’s now finished, built, and delivered to Roger. And it’s so pretty I just had to show it off.

Behold the only FattyFly in the universe (click the image for a larger version):

201004131039.jpg

I am so jealous.

69 Comments

  1. Comment by GJ Jackie | 04.13.2010 | 2:35 pm

    I remember riding the Teocali Trail in Crested Butte and a few hours into our group ride a guy pulls out a huge gourmet turkey and bacon sandwich. And he shared. Mmmmmmm. Good food and mountain biking — literally heaven on earth.

  2. Comment by Superstantial | 04.13.2010 | 2:43 pm

    37?

  3. Comment by pdx t | 04.13.2010 | 2:45 pm

    “texture of an extra-resilient gummy bear”
    One of the most perfect texture descriptions I have ever had the joy of reading. Thank you.

  4. Comment by Clydesteve | 04.13.2010 | 2:45 pm

    Payday bars – word.

    FattyFly – drool

  5. Comment by KanyonKris | 04.13.2010 | 2:48 pm

    Bingo on all points. Makes me wonder, why do long rides?

    Gorgeous bike – congrats, Roger.

  6. Comment by Clydesteve | 04.13.2010 | 2:49 pm

    That’s a 36-tooth gear on the mens SS tee in the illustraiton. It might be pretty big in size XXXL, however.

  7. Comment by Greg @ Greg Rides Trails | 04.13.2010 | 2:58 pm

    What, you don’t get one of those rides Fatty? Dang, out of the loop! It looks so pretty too.

    And I totally agree with the Clif Bar statement. Love those things!

  8. Comment by Barbara | 04.13.2010 | 3:08 pm

    But being able to eat – and by that I actually mean stop for breakfast or lunch – is one of the many advantages biking has over… RUNNING!

  9. Comment by Alyson | 04.13.2010 | 3:10 pm

    Salt and mayonnaise ~ yum!!!!!:-)

    I have yet to stay on my bike longer than a couple of hours to experience these things you speak of. However, due to your fattyfabness & expertise in all things, I will take your word on it..them.

  10. Comment by Boz | 04.13.2010 | 3:13 pm

    That coating on your teeth is technically called a “sweater.” I can say that’s there is not worse feeling short of injured. My teeth are wearing a sweater! Yuch!

  11. Comment by Chicken Legs | 04.13.2010 | 3:16 pm

    Don’t forget the way the empty Gu packet gets sticky crap all over whatever you put it in after eating. It could possibly double as a patch for a flat in a pinch though!

  12. Comment by mtb w | 04.13.2010 | 3:30 pm

    Hilarious! And you didn’t even address what happens when your mouth is so dry, gels practically solidify in your mouth, making it near impossible to swallow.

    And, Chicken Legs is spot on – what is up with empty Gus? No matter how hard you try to suck and push the stuff out, the empty packets always leave a sticky mess in your pocket. It’s like there is a wormhole to another Gu universe inside the packets, continually leaking the stuff.

  13. Comment by Sramtaro | 04.13.2010 | 3:35 pm

    Sad that they didn’t use the orange SRAM x.0 to finish off the FattyFly…
    Still, pretty sweet.

  14. Comment by Peter | 04.13.2010 | 4:04 pm

    Into the shirts, not into the postage costing more than the shirt. $30 to get from there to blighty? Bonkers.

  15. Comment by jen | 04.13.2010 | 4:15 pm

    a burrito truck showing up at the right point in a long ride would be nice especially if it shuttled one to the top of the next hill

  16. Comment by Loving the Bike | 04.13.2010 | 4:19 pm

    It’s so cool that cycling nutrition is big enough to warrant a post on Fatty’s site. There is actually even too much stuff out on the market, but I think most cyclists know what’s good and what works.
    Great looking bike….He’s one lucky dude to have that custom bike to call his own.

    Darryl

  17. Comment by Vee | 04.13.2010 | 4:34 pm

    Fig Newtons! (But have water on hand because they’re dry). I believe PayDay bars rule over the Salted Nut Bar. And all road rides should be designed to go by a convenience store that sells big ol’ dill pickles.

  18. Comment by Nick | 04.13.2010 | 4:39 pm

    The teeth coating is especially wonderful when riding in the before-mentioned favorite weather condition of wind. The affect is magnified when the ride occurs in a somewhat sandy/dusty environment. Bike food + dust + phlegm < awesome.

  19. Comment by Double U | 04.13.2010 | 5:33 pm

    I would so give a testicle for that FattyFly.

    Congratulations, that bike is beautiful.

  20. Comment by Hamish | 04.13.2010 | 5:45 pm

    I rode for 14 hours on Saturday (300km)… total sweetness overload while on the bike. While stopped I got a couple of sandwiches and the old Australian favourite – a meat pie – just to balance it out.

    I’ve been making these energy bars from the recipe here:
    http://www.bikeradar.com/fitness/article/make-your-own-organic-energy-bars-11916
    Check it out – of 500g of ingredients there’s 120g of pure sweet stuff! Sugar, honey and fruit spread. I just about have a coronary while it’s cooking.

  21. Comment by markg | 04.13.2010 | 5:54 pm

    Oh, Fatty. Take a tip from the Italians, who have been combining the passions of cycling and gastronomy longer than anyone. Think panini, not power bars. Unless you are actually IN a race, why not stop at a deli and enjoy pesto, tomato, and fresh mozzarella on a toasted roll with a nice cappuccino. If you MUST eat on the bike, put ham, cheese and pesto (or mayo, if you must) on toast and wrap it in foil for your pocket. You won’t need to remind yourself to eat that.

  22. Comment by Frank | 04.13.2010 | 6:13 pm

    I always eat a bagel with peanut butter when I do an ironman. It helps to eat real food. I also mix gus of different flavors, because -as you said- it really does not matter after a while. I put my gus in a gel flask, less sticky.

    I also find that there is a time when you can no longer eat or drink sweet stuff. But bubbles really work well near the end of an endurance event. I usually drink nothing but coke -but a little bit at a time- during the ironman run.

  23. Comment by Bee | 04.13.2010 | 6:38 pm

    This might be one of the grossest posts I have yet seen. Awesome, in its own way. Kudos, Fatty. I work at a Level 1 Trauma Center, but this post is the first thing to gross me out this week. :-)

  24. Comment by Swami Wheelo | 04.13.2010 | 6:47 pm

    Woah Hey I’m not alone. After 40 miles of Gu, Clif bars and Accelerade my teeth feel exactly the same, and I do begin to relish that bottle I refilled with plain water. I intend to heed some of these panini & pastie recommendations for the 100 Miles of Nowhere.

    I’m in total lust with my road bike these days, but that lovely Fisher causes me to drool uncontrollably. Ooooweee have fun Roger.

  25. Comment by Paul | 04.13.2010 | 6:52 pm

    Um, bonkbreakers. Peanut Butter and chocolate. Tastes like glorious brownies while on the bike. Yes, I said glorious.

  26. Comment by kentucky joe | 04.13.2010 | 7:26 pm

    I definitely don’t ride long enough often enough to warrant eating on the bike, 40-50 mile long rides and I can survive if I eat something (PBJ, PB Banana, PB Honey are favs) about an hour before the ride and then take a sports drink along….but the hotter it gets, the less I eat and I really only like water. Longer rides are usually punctuated by a SAG stop where I can take 10-15 min to eat off the bike. One thing I hate is stickiness on my hands then on my tape and inevitably on every part of my bike.

  27. Comment by Joel P. | 04.13.2010 | 8:02 pm

    As a fellow small nasal passaged (with a deviated septum) mouth breather, I can relate but instead of blowing food out of my mouth I once sucked in a chunk of Clif Bar triggering an instant gag reflex while riding in a large group. It’s hard to look cool while dry heaving and trying to say “on your left” at the same time. Hope to not re-live that in Philly this summer.
    Joel P.

  28. Comment by Richard | 04.13.2010 | 9:06 pm

    Fresh white bread with olive oil (in place of butter), turkey, parmesian cheese, honey. Cut the crusts off if you want to reduce chew time.

    Bannanas.

  29. Comment by Marla Gnarla | 04.13.2010 | 9:32 pm

    That Fatty Fly is beautimus!!

  30. Comment by Guactagonal | 04.13.2010 | 9:40 pm

    Whatever happened to the Best Jersey Pocket Food Ever?

    http://www.fatcyclist.com/2008/04/08/best-jersey-pocket-food-ever/

  31. Comment by ZachOlson | 04.13.2010 | 11:17 pm

    Little Debbie’s fudge brownies. $1.59 for six @280 calories each. A lot of bang for your buck, and they’re soft enough to easily eat on a bike.

  32. Comment by Shiny Flu | 04.14.2010 | 1:34 am

    Something that I’ve found great on longer rides with no bakery in sight are these rice cake things that Garmin Slipstream have (this is awesome because it makes you so Pro!):

    http://www.slipstreamsports.com/2008/07/16/cooking-with-allen-rice-cakes

  33. Comment by Dave | 04.14.2010 | 3:07 am

    I think it’s a 36 tooth… not THAT tall…

    As for food, I still stick to my old favorite… Fig Newtons (and occasionally the super excellent Strawberry Newtons). Just perfect…

  34. Comment by Mike Roadie | 04.14.2010 | 5:17 am

    36 teeth, not 37.

    Shouldn’t “unisex” actually be “multisex”????

  35. Comment by Penzance Steve | 04.14.2010 | 5:34 am

    Thanks Fatty – that was NOT a good post to read while having my lunch at my desk. You could’ve given us some warning!! Think I might go out to get some air…

  36. Comment by Jason | 04.14.2010 | 6:38 am

    Do you upload your rides to garmin connect? Id love to check out some of your rides..

  37. Comment by FliesOnly | 04.14.2010 | 6:58 am

    Once again…nailed it! Thanks for putting into words what we all wish we could put into words. And that bike is beyond super-cool.

  38. Comment by Chris Arterburn | 04.14.2010 | 7:01 am

    A few more photos after we built it for Roger.
    http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=163086&id=78928777357&saved#!/pages/Cherry-Hill-NJ/Danzeisen-Quigley/78928777357

  39. Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 04.14.2010 | 7:23 am

    I tried my first gel this weekend while out on a ride. It worked, and it didn’t taste as bad as I expected. But wow was it sticky! And it made me more thirsty! I’m with you. There is such a thing as too much sweet.

  40. Comment by Wes | 04.14.2010 | 7:30 am

    I pack a rolling buffet in my fanny pack… Crackers, fig newtons, a peanut butter and jelly sandie on Toast. Does it get any better? The yellow bike bottle even has RED WINE!

  41. Comment by mainiac_rager | 04.14.2010 | 7:47 am

    there is nothing worse than bad GU on a ride-either anything that you snag from the back of the fridge in a moment of pre-ride desperation, or something offered by a fellow rider (“hey, want a GU?” “sure- oh, chocolate…uh…”) Let’s you down when you need it most.

  42. Comment by Clancy | 04.14.2010 | 8:19 am

    Hammer has a water bottle with an integrated gel flask inside. Saves you from the sticky empty gu packets in the pockets (at least for 3 servings anyway.)

  43. Comment by MattC | 04.14.2010 | 9:57 am

    Sour Patch Kids…Jill (Homer) got me started on those…I’m not much of a candy eater normally, but for some reason those little guys are just awesome. And unless it’s a zillion degrees out, they aren’t sticky! By a BIG bag and divy them out into ziplocks…MUCH cheaper than energy gels. And Bananas…natures perfect food. I can eat SPK’s and bananas all day long. Oh..and cytomax. Fruit punch or my new fav-flav Cool Citrus (which is awesome because it’s nearly clear rather than red…doesn’t stain my bottles). Tried Accelerade…boy, talk about Furry teeth…it makes furry EVERYTHING that it touches…especially your water bottles! (and it tastes like cheap kool aid to me…yuk!)

  44. Comment by Alison | 04.14.2010 | 10:09 am

    I have to agree with the people who argue for real food!

    To combat sweetness and bad texture try nugget or new potatoes. Boil, steam or nuke the potatoes to your desired level of cooked-ness, throw on some salt and let them cool (the last step is important, riding with hot potatoes in your jersey pocket is kind of unpleasant).

    These saved my day at Ironman, they weren’t sweet, they had a pleasant taste and they were easy to eat (soft and kind to my digestion). I used them as a reward on the bike – I had to eat one gel and one Cliff Bar before I could have any potato. Made it easier to scarf down the sweet stuff.

  45. Comment by Mark Kynaston | 04.14.2010 | 10:14 am

    @ Peter – Contact the very good guys @ twin six and I am sure they can sort out a much more reasonable shipping cost to the UK. They did it for me on a low value order that made the whole cost acceptable.

  46. Comment by Mike Roadie | 04.14.2010 | 11:35 am

    Real food=LARABAR’s (Small Plannet Foods, Inc.)
    Try ‘em; they are the best!

  47. Comment by Alon | 04.14.2010 | 11:51 am

    The other day I took about 6 of those small potatoes that were already boiled out of my fridge. Took a square of plastic wrap, shook a hefty amount of salt on them and tossed them in my jersey pocket. Man, those tasted goooood.

  48. Comment by Redbird | 04.14.2010 | 12:16 pm

    The coating on the teeth that is identical to never brushing in the recent past is officially called “sweaters”. As in, “I need to brush, I’ve got some serious sweaters on these teeth”.I think it’s a medical term. Furry teeth indeed.

  49. Comment by Beth | 04.14.2010 | 12:36 pm

    If you are having the tooth ickiness syndrome, throw a “WISP” one time mini toothbrush in your pocket…I think they are made by Colgate and you can find them at Target etc….they are perfect for mouth emergencies, easy to carry and come in a number of minty flavors….

  50. Comment by Keenedge | 04.14.2010 | 1:02 pm

    Great piece Fatty!Loved it and the comments.Have to try the potatoe trick and the pannini. I always try to have one water bottle one energy bottle. seems to help.

  51. Comment by Linda | 04.14.2010 | 1:24 pm

    I like to stick a line up of sour patch kids alternating with hot tamales under the leg band of my bike shorts. They are easily accessible, have a slightly salty taste to them after a few miles, and leave a really fun “tattoo” on my leg when I am done.

  52. Comment by Michael McNutt | 04.14.2010 | 1:37 pm

    You know that the company that does salted nut rolls here in the Twin Cities, every now and than lets go with a chocolate covered salted nut roll!?!?! Not good for summer biking as chocolate melts in jersey pocket, but really a nice before (or after) sugar push down the road.

  53. Comment by Clio | 04.14.2010 | 1:55 pm

    This post was perfect, as last week I mentally composed a letter to Clif Bars in my head, requesting that they develop a pizza flavoured bar. I ran the New York marathon a few years ago, and all I wanted was a slice from one of the many pizza shops I ran past. I had money, and contemplated stopping and buying a slice, but it would have been difficult to carry. Hence, Pizza Flavoured energy bars. I think they’d be a big seller. (Gary Erickson, are you reading this????)

  54. Comment by PeckishCyclist | 04.14.2010 | 6:12 pm

    I can relate!

  55. Comment by Sasha | 04.14.2010 | 8:44 pm

    Okay, I havfe a suggestion for a energy bar – Burger King cheeseburger! I always crave cheap cheeseburgers on long rides/marathons/trail runs. At least until I found out about pink slime. Ick. Now I will no longer eat a burger in a restaurant unless it’s hand made. My new fav drink is FRS. Love the Peach-Mango – wish it were made with stevia. I have a finicky digestive system so I stick to Luna Moons, peanut butter pretzels, FRS, water, and sometimes, PB&J sandwiches. I also utilize the tried and true banana. I also tried hot apple cider at last year’s very cold and wet MS150 ride and it was heavenly. Loved the topic! I might have to try sourpatch kids. :)

  56. Comment by ChefJT | 04.14.2010 | 8:50 pm

    39

  57. Comment by deano | 04.14.2010 | 9:03 pm

    Peanut Butter, honey and sliced bananas on whole wheat bread (Great Harvest in my area- not to dry and it has some substance to it)- the bomb on long rides! Need to go slow though- and chase with water. The Nature Valley Sweet and Salty nut bar is also a favorite. Also love the Bolthouse Farms Mocha Cappuccino for when the engine is running out of gas.

  58. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 04.15.2010 | 1:28 am

    Last weekend I was at the Australian Para-cycling (which isn’t a multi discipline sport involving bicycles and parachutes) Championships and there was a competitor there whose handcycle was set up with a 72×10. So I’m guessing your t-shirt won’t fit him… being a 36-tooth and all.

  59. Comment by Anne | 04.15.2010 | 7:45 am

    Agree with you on your energy bars. Also, my stomach get all messed up from eating the energy gels and bars.

    Very nice looking bike. Congrats to Roger L.

  60. Comment by jodi | 04.15.2010 | 8:59 am

    Most cycling “food” gives me stomach issues that need not be explained in detail. I have found that Smucker’s Uncrustables are fabulous riding food. Especially the whole wheat ones with honey.

  61. Comment by judi | 04.15.2010 | 9:39 am

    nutrition is the 4th discipline of the IM. i will NEVER eat another cliff bar. haven’t had one since i was on the bike during IMKY last august.

    muscle milk is GOOD calories and easy on the gut. i like carbo pro too.

    you ready for your IM fatty? i am super psyched for you.

  62. Comment by anne h | 04.15.2010 | 9:45 am

    I am currently weeping tears of laughing joy! Thanks for using the word “mucus” repeatedly. Always a bonus.

  63. Comment by Scotty | 04.15.2010 | 4:12 pm

    My last Leadville 100 (run, not bike) = 39 Powergels!!! 1 every 45 minutes for my entire, slow, 29 hours. This was in addition to MUCH other normal food, these just kept me regulated. Let’s just say they were not tasting great by the end of that run, but my nutrition plan worked great for the race. Gels can be nasty but they do have their place.

  64. Comment by Richard | 04.15.2010 | 11:35 pm

    I have a 15 min alarm to keep drinking enough.

    I there was beer flavoured sports drink this wouldn’t be required.

  65. Comment by Fiber Queen | 04.16.2010 | 10:17 pm

    Thanks for giving the Salted Nut Roll some publicity. This has been my favorite training food for 10 yrs. Once, I wrote to Pearson asking for a sponsorship (just product), but they never responded… maybe the execs will finally realize they should be marketing to the endurance athlete! Nutritionally, they are pretty sound, too.

  66. Comment by Rachel | 04.19.2010 | 10:40 am

    FAT CYCLIST T (W)

    Style #T609WT10

    Any chance THIS shirt will be available anytime soon?
    The black with pink and white verticle stripes, in womens.

  67. Comment by Rick B | 04.20.2010 | 6:54 am

    No XXL!?!? /me=saddened P.S. Sweet bike

  68. Comment by Adam | 04.23.2010 | 9:00 am

    You can make your own energy gel and flavor it any way you want – making a 5 oz flask is super cheap, and tastes great, too:

    5 parts honey
    1 part black strap molasses (provides magnesium and potassium)
    1-2 parts creamy peanut butter (depending on flavor)
    1 part whey protein isolate (optional – flavorless is best, but I’m still experimenting)
    1/4 teaspoon of salt per tablespoon of peanut butter.
    1/8-1/2 teaspoon of artificial flavoring (in the baking aisle) per tablespoon of molasses – give or take (add a little, taste, add a little more, etc).

    Mix it all together, et voila.

    If you don’t use the whey protein, I’m pretty sure that this will keep for just this side of forever. Even with the whey protein, since all the water in the recipe is bound to sugars, I would expect that it would keep for quite a long ride.

    Flavors that work really well:
    Banana
    Chocolate
    Rootbeer
    Butter Rum
    Butterscotch
    Horehound
    and my favorites -Butter Pecan/Pralines and cream (yes, they exist!)

  69. Comment by PaulH | 05.3.2010 | 2:11 pm

    No idea if you can get them in the US, but I rate MuleBars very highly – they’re the sort of snack I’ll happily eat as real food. Moist enough that you can eat them without having to drink at the same time, actually taste good (try the Apple) and even the packaging is easy to open while remaining well sealed normally.

 

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