La La La La Na Na Na Na I’m Not Listening

07.13.2010 | 12:54 pm

201007131039.jpg A “Fat Cyclist Gear Pre-Order Week Is Still Going” Note From Fatty: The 2011 Fat Cyclist Gear collection is available for pre-order now through Monday, July 19. You can read details in my blog post from yesterday, or go to the special Fat Cyclist catalog area on the Twin Six site.

Honestly, if you want any of this stuff, you need to pre-order it, cuz while we order a few extras of most things, those tend to disappear, fast.

And do yourself a favor and don’t wait ’til what you think is the last day to do your pre-order, OK? Because every single time I do this pre-order, someone forgets and then sends me an email the morning after the pre-order is over, asking me to make an exception, and I feel all bad the whole day because there really is no way for me to make exceptions. If I hold up the metaphorical train before it starts its magical journey, it won’t arrive at its destination — which we will whimsically call “available by the Austin LiveStrong Challenge and NYC Marathon” — on time.

Also, I’ve given the Twin Six guys the power to reply to questions people have posed in the comments section yesterday, right within those comments . So, if you asked a question about sizing yesterday, check your comment to see if it’s been answer. Probably it has. Because Twin Six loves you.

La La La La Na Na Na Na I’m Not Listening

Last Friday, I went mountain biking on the Ridge trail with Kenny and Bob. Bob — who has lived at sea level (Seattle) long enough that he may as well have never been altitude-acclimated — was suffering mightily.

Here’s Bob, sitting on the ground after a long climb, trying to get every last drop out of his PowerGel:


(I should probably admit here that this photo doesn’t really have much to do with where I’m going with this post, but I wanted to put it up anyway, because Bob’s face looks like it came from a much redder person.)

These rest stops were fine by me, because they gave us a chance to talk, which is really about 70% of the reason I ride with friends anyway.

So as we were talking, Kenny — from out of nowhere — says who had won the two most recent stages of the Tour de France. Just like that.

And so I throttled him until he was unconscious. Before he could reveal anything else. Perhaps that seems harsh, but I think I was justified. Really, it was my only option.

And I’m not unwilling to use this tactic again.

The Plight of the Busy Person

Every July as the Tour de France begins, my television consumption goes up. Way, way up. Much to my disappointment, however, my job, my family and my other myriad (oh yes, I have a myriad) responsibilities don’t respect my sudden desire to watch three hours of TV per day by quietly disappearing into the background for three weeks.

How rude of them.

Thanks to the magic of the DVR, however, I can time shift my viewing. I record the live version of the Tour de France, hence accruing these three very important benefits:

  • I can then watch the stage anytime I want.
  • I can gleefully skip commercials. And yes, I do experience a moment of glee as the commercial whips by, unheeded.
  • I can minimize the amount of Craig Hummer in my life.

But the DVR is a two-edged sword (that’s a metaphor; don’t try to actually use your DVR as a cutting device. Your results will be unsatisfactory.). Specifically, once you’ve said to yourself, “I’ll watch this later,” you’ve got a problem: how much later?

Or even more specifically, how soon will you have three hours to watch TV?

As a stereotypical middle-aged man, it’s easy for me to answer that question: I will never have three hours to watch TV, ever again in my life. Sure, some of the flat stages don’t exactly take three hours to watch. In fact, with judicious use of the remote, many flat stages can take approximately fifteen minutes to watch.

But still. There’s a distressingly high likelihood that I won’t miss just one stage. In fact, I’ve been known to have missed multiple stages in a row.

Right now, for example, I have five unwatched stages of the Tour de France. Which is about fifteen hours-worth.

Sure, I don’t really need to watch the first two of those five stages, thanks to Kenny. But my point still stands.

Isolation Chamber

Right now, then, I have Saturday’s, Sunday’s, and today’s stages to catch up on (I had hoped to catch up on at least some of those stages last night, but I had tickets for the family to go see the local community theater production of Wizard of Oz, which — as it turns out — is about nineteen hours long.

And I really really really don’t want to know what is going to happen (OK, has happened, but it’s still in the future tense for me) on those stages. For example, I don’t want to know any of these things:

  • Will Contador climb so fast that specially-purchased high-speed cameras will be used to film him?
  • Will Armstrong reveal that he is actually not pushing 40 after all and is in fact in the prime of his life and will now gleefully crush his opponents?
  • Will we ever figure out who designed the “Holstein Nude” look for Team Footon-Servetto?

So, in order to keep TdF spoilers out of my life, I am having to adapt my behavior in a most severe way.

  • I don’t go to VeloNews, CyclingNews, BikeRadar, or any of the other bike news sites. This takes some effort, because I don’t even have to consciously choose to go to these sites normally. My mouse just wanders to my browser bookmark list of its own accord every few minutes.
  • I don’t watch TV. I know that if something really really big happens in the TdF, it could crack into the mainstream news, and I will of course be watching during the five seconds they spoil everything and ruin the stage for me.
  • I don’t leave my IM client open. Normally, I IM with friends pretty much through the day.
  • I don’t go riding with anyone. I used to, but I won’t anymore (Thanks a lot, Kenny).
  • I don’t look anyone in the eye as I ride alone. If I make eye contact, people are likely to say “hi.” Then a conversation could ensue. And then they could suddenly divulge what’s going on. And then I’d have to throttle a complete stranger, and I wouldn’t feel good about myself afterwards.
  • I don’t answer the phone. (This one’s easy, since I have an iPhone 4 [but it takes great pictures and video!])
  • I don’t look at email. I don’t even look at it.

I shall now go back into my hole, from whence I shall not return until I am caught up.

It could be a while.

PS: Don’t you dare tell me what’s happening in the TdF in the comments section, because if you do I will ban you forever. Even if you’re just kidding and making stuff up. Because I will, using my incredible powers of logic, infer what is really happening from your fake response. Believe me, I’ve done it before. I’m frighteningly smart.


  1. Comment by Bill | 07.13.2010 | 1:13 pm

    This is exactly why I paid for the iPad unlimited data plan (got in before they capped it) and the $15 Versus app which streams live audio. I listen live each day I manage to reschedule my morning meetings.

  2. Comment by NYCCarlos | 07.13.2010 | 1:16 pm

    you should get a TV in your breakroom and work from there… that’s what I’ve been doing as I watched **BLEEP** win some sprint finishes and **BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP** crash a whole bunch.

  3. Comment by Anonymous | 07.13.2010 | 1:19 pm

    Instead of going out for a ride just set the trainer up and go at it. Then you are killing to birds in one go (although you are on a trainer, think of it as you are riding along with the tour in France). lol

    I know exactly how you feel, and I can’t stand it when things get spoiled by someone if I haven’t seen what happened yet. Really the only person that is allowed to spoil something is me when I just don’t have the patience to see what is going to happen (of course that is only if I didn’t watch it when it was live or new).

  4. Comment by evil3 | 07.13.2010 | 1:19 pm

    lol, I forgot to add my screen name to the post

  5. Comment by lkb3 | 07.13.2010 | 1:27 pm

    Well, you didn’t miss much – Didi Senft (aka the Devil) threw down his pitchfork, shoved Lance off his bike, and proceded to give Contador a royal beatdown.

    And Levi revealed he’s really the reincarnation of Jacques Anquetil.

    And Floyd Landis showed up as the director sportif of the Rock Racing team, who showed up unannounced because Micheal Ball said so.

    Other than that, you didn’t miss much.

  6. Comment by Micah | 07.13.2010 | 1:31 pm

    You know what’s worse than having someone tell you the result? Having someone tell you what they think is the result when they’re actually telling you the result of the previous day that you already watched. [This is most problematic in consecutive sprint days when one guy is likely to win several stages in a row.] See, when that happens, you get ridiculously angry at that person (likely pummeling them), then slip into the depths of despair over the futility of your DVR that day. Then, to assuage your broken heart, you log onto cyclingnews to read the live report so that you can at least see how the guy won and you can bring yourself one day closer to current. BUT, when cyclingnews loads you clearly see that the guy your buddy said won today’s stage didn’t win today (actually winning yesterday) and you see the picture of somebody else celebrating their win in today’s stage. And then, of course, you get to experience the anger and despair cycle for the second time that day. This is the double-dip recession of TdF fandom. It happened to me, and it can happen to you, too.

  7. Comment by The Cheat | 07.13.2010 | 1:38 pm

    Ban everybody.

  8. Comment by Carl | 07.13.2010 | 1:48 pm

    Reducing Craig Hummer is a good thing – as is reducing the new Versus theme music – that stinks almost as much as Craig!

  9. Comment by Jeff L. | 07.13.2010 | 2:01 pm

    Micah, I’m right there with you. I’ve had that happen twice so far this year. So irritating!

  10. Comment by zeeeter | 07.13.2010 | 2:05 pm

    Do you know how much fun it would be to completely make up this next post which would give nothing whatsoever away about the actual race? However I would miss out finding out whether my pre-order is getting shipped so I’ll shut up, other than to say . . . no . . . no . . . stop!

    One last thing, you know, it’s worth putting up with Craig to listen to Paul and Phil in the real-time world , and Bobke in the parallel prime-time pseudo-version of the real world!

  11. Comment by josh | 07.13.2010 | 2:26 pm

    I’ve decided that my need to watch the tour is greater than my need for sleep. So I should take this opportunity to apologize to all those individuals I’ve offended so far this month and a preemptive apology to all those I will be rude to until the tour is over.

    Also a quick thank you to those who work around me and who keep quite while I take a morning nap at work.



  12. Comment by JAT in Seattle | 07.13.2010 | 2:30 pm

    I work in an open floor plan office and often listen to NPR with headphones during the day (sometimes my job is a little boring,…) In July I am liable to abruptly and noisily rip my headphones off and throw them on the floor.

    Usually around four minutes after the hour, the newsreader will get to the word “de” and I’ll realize what they’re about to do to me; even after years of this I don’t think my co-workers understand what causes this occasional summer spasm.

  13. Comment by roan | 07.13.2010 | 2:56 pm

    fatty, I realize that you DO NOT control the ads on your blogsite BUT after your rant the ad. was Gas-X (go figure !).
    I don’t follow the media news at all…they know little about cycling or anything else for that matter.
    Now I depend upon “Paul” the oracle octopus. “Paul” has L.A. as the real winner of the TdeF because 99.99% of riders in his situation(stage 8)would have just quit.

  14. Comment by Jeff | 07.13.2010 | 2:56 pm

    15 hours of unwatched TDF to watch? Sounds like we’re in for the first annual 250 miles of nowhere!

  15. Comment by Philly Jen | 07.13.2010 | 2:57 pm

    Bobke has stopped saying “Tour DAY Frantz” entirely!

    I am heartbroken. That is all.

  16. Comment by Philly Jen | 07.13.2010 | 3:05 pm

    P.S. My only consolation while I cry myself to sleep each night is the daily TdF Velocast out of Peebles, Scotland. May their pronunciation never change!

  17. Comment by Dale | 07.13.2010 | 3:05 pm

    I am exactly the same way… but I’m only a day behind right now, so doing good, but unfortunately I got creamed today. I’m sitting at lunch today with some friends and we get in this argument about how much time Greg LeMond picked up against Laurent Fignon in the time trial in ‘89. I said it was under a minute, he said ten minutes. I scoffed, and bet him a buy in to our next poker game. He said you’re on, and pulled out his laptop (you’re going to see where I’m going with this, shortly). His laptop boots up, and he brings up his browser, and there is a big shiny picture of XXXXXX with the headline that XXXXXX takes the lead in the Tour de France. I avoid it all day just to have it seared into my eyeballs by my buddies default news page on his browser. The only upside is the answer was 58 seconds, and I now can play poker on his dime.

  18. Comment by Pat | 07.13.2010 | 3:09 pm

    Here’s something that is not a spoiler–it’s quite obvious, in fact: Craig Hummer sucks. I hope you are taping the early version with Phil and Paul. I mean, he really, really sucks. Just awful.

  19. Comment by anon | 07.13.2010 | 3:12 pm

    Nice Helmet Bob.

  20. Comment by Tom | 07.13.2010 | 3:13 pm

    How’s Lebron doing?

  21. Comment by TexasGal | 07.13.2010 | 3:13 pm

    The only good thing about listening to Craig Hummer is to watch the expression on Bob Roll’s face when Craig says something stupid, which is quite often.

    If you find out who designed those awful kits let us know, no rider should ever have to ride in something that makes them look that close to naked

  22. Comment by NYCCarlos | 07.13.2010 | 3:37 pm

    Ps… on the Footon Kit-

    Dario Urzay

  23. Comment by AKAMIE | 07.13.2010 | 3:40 pm

    Your not the man I thought you were after all these years.

    How could you NOT be watching live?! The tour comes first! kids, responsibilities- waaa waaa (you sound like Cadel).

    Lance is back! And YOU KNOW HIM! You’ve met most of those guys (*my intense jealousy*)!!! How can you resist not watching and reminding everyone that you met them, you know them, you rode with some of them???

    Who are you???

  24. Comment by AngieG | 07.13.2010 | 3:59 pm

    @AKAMIE- he’s still employed. :-)

    I think it would be great to see Victoria Secrets sponsor a team. They could have the flesh colored kits with strategically placed spots of color. :-)

    Now that would be funny!

  25. Comment by Heat305 | 07.13.2010 | 4:37 pm

    I feel like a little kid right now!
    My girlfriend just checked out the 2011 Fat Cyclist Gear Collection, and liked the stuff so much that she asked me why I only ordered jerseys yesterday, and not the entire kit.
    That’s music to my ears!
    Just ordered the bibs, and to keep her happy, I ordered pink bibs for her too. I’m still on the fence about that $45 Tech-Tee, but got till the 19th to make a decision.

  26. Comment by pscarlett | 07.13.2010 | 4:41 pm

    Hey, you should all move Down Under, it is fantastic. I tuck my wife in to bed, and at 10pm, I ease in to the couch with my cordless headphones on to watch the Tour live in to the wee hours of the morning. All the hard core fans then gather about 8am over the coffee machine at work to dissect each stage. No surprises, no disappointment, and of course no bad attitude due to lack of sleep… just ask my wife……

  27. Comment by brian | 07.13.2010 | 5:03 pm

    Speaking of the ridge trail, have you tried out the new Mill Canyon reroute? It makes for a really nice/fun 2000 ft climb – although it may not be steep enough for your tastes.

  28. Comment by bahama mama | 07.13.2010 | 5:03 pm

    After you watch each stage, check out It gives Chris Horner’s inside view of the day’s ride. He gives an open honest account of the ride. Pretty awesome.

  29. Comment by Steve the BigRide | 07.13.2010 | 6:00 pm

    My lips are sealed.

  30. Comment by AKdavedownunder | 07.13.2010 | 7:19 pm

    One of the nice things about being in Oz is that the Tour is on live in the middle of the night. 10 PM till whenever. This way I can watch it live and not worry about it messing up my day.

    Of course after 3 weeks of one, two, or three hours of sleep each night coupled with massive amounts of caffeine gives one some really interesting daytime hallucinations. Fortunately, no one notices cus they think it’s just me being me.

  31. Comment by Marla Gnarla | 07.13.2010 | 8:28 pm

    I can understand this. It seems everyone who comes into the bike shop can’t help but blurt it out. Not realizing that we don’t have cable to watch it there and the fact that I’m working means I’m not at home watching it. Oh well!

  32. Comment by John Paul Daigle | 07.13.2010 | 9:14 pm

    Fatty, didn’t you hear that they cancelled the Tour de France this year? It’s been replaced with a 21 stage adventure race combining running, skiing, blogging, eating donuts, extreme folk dancing, and white water rafting.

    Lance Armstrong has announced that he is planning on coming out of retirement to compete in the Tour Nouveau, although I think he’ll lose too much time in the blogging stages to really be a contender.

  33. Comment by Born 4Lycra | 07.13.2010 | 9:29 pm

    Mate just get your act together and watch it there is some brilliant stuff going on and it could only be enhanced by some of your witty outpourings. Like the other Oz correspondents have said life is becomming very different with 3 hours sleep every night and the extra coffee hits. Not sure what i will do when it’s over.

  34. Comment by Joel P. | 07.13.2010 | 9:32 pm

    I coulda saved you 19 hours of your life for TdF viewing. It was all a dream, Dorothy never left Kansas, or did she?

  35. Comment by Nurse Betsy | 07.13.2010 | 9:34 pm

    Who’s Craig Hummer anyway? Has he ever ridden a bike?

  36. Comment by Shawn | 07.13.2010 | 9:44 pm

    Anyway to get a Fatty jersey for Philly LiveStrong? I am willing to buy used if I have to an am looking for orange and black.

  37. Comment by SuperCat | 07.13.2010 | 10:13 pm

    I highly recommend the hours between about 1030pm and 2am… thats when the Tour is on line here..

    It conveniently doesnt interfere much with life in general and I get a whole 3-4 hours after it finished before i have to get up and go to work…

    My boss LOVES me this time of the year Im sure!!!

  38. Comment by AK_Chick | 07.13.2010 | 10:58 pm

    The guys at TWIN SIX ROCK! They are SO awesome. I am fortunate that my birthday is this week and two checks arrived in the mail so I can place my order. Whew!

    Fatty/Skinny? :) Can we get a little more notice on the preorders? Or maybe I need to remember that sometime in the summer, the FatCyclist preorder will occur and I need to keep massive cash on hand so I can place an order. :)

    I’m going to try the bibs, order the latest jersey (can’t help myself) and a sweatshirt. I’m SO excited that we’ll have it by Austin!

    PS Finally figured out that if I include my Livestrong link, that it links using my user name. Doh. and Duh. Sometimes I’m not the brightest bulb in the bunch but I have the best of intentions!

  39. Comment by SkiMoab | 07.14.2010 | 1:56 am

    Make sure you also don’t check Facebook. That’s where I have made some fatal mistakes this year.

  40. Comment by Cardiac Kid | 07.14.2010 | 5:27 am

    So just so we’re clear we cant talk about the woman on stage 8 that ran out screaming “CONTADOR WHY WONT YOU LOVE YOUR SON”?? Or Vinokourov telling Frankie Andreu that he wants to open a Quiznos?

    Craig Hummer is the “Red Shirt” (from Star Trek) in the group.

  41. Comment by neca | 07.14.2010 | 5:50 am

    The Phil/Paul commentary is far superior to the evening show (for so many reasons), as much as it hurts me to miss Bob (cause he’s so funny). Phil & Paul are clearly the varsity string of commentary.

    I’m glad I’m not along in my disdain for Craig Hummer. Good grief – Al Trautwig was better!

    The only issue I have with DVR is that it isn’t very smart and when the stage runs over (which mountain ones tend to do), if you haven’t taped “The Daily Line” you’re left standing there in disbelief as your tv self destructs with 1 KM to go to the finish. Oh cruel fate.

  42. Comment by Richard | 07.14.2010 | 6:36 am

    Who made Cancellara boss?

  43. Comment by Drew | 07.14.2010 | 7:09 am

    Dude, Kirsten Gum was better than Craig Hummer.

    Mmmmmmm, Kirsten Gum.

  44. Comment by MrDaveyGie | 07.14.2010 | 7:35 am

    I hear ya. If a day was 28 hours long and I needed 4 hours less of sleep a day, I still wouldn’t have the time to do everything I want. However trying to spend 4-5 hours a day on a bike average has quite an influence on that. :-)

  45. Comment by MattC | 07.14.2010 | 8:07 am

    Seems we have a pretty common core theme here…Hummer-Haters. I would LOVE to be able to watch Bobke’s version but it’s not worth the pain of the Hummer…and besides, Phil & Paul ARE the voice of cycling…the ONLY voice. Now if they would just add Bobke to the live version, we could then watch Bobke make that same face when Phil says something wrong (names the wrong rider, stuff like that which he does a lot).

    I like the fact that Down Under you get to watch the live stage in the evening…that is almost worth moving for. How is the job outlook down there just now? If possible, I’d like to live where it’s warm (but not too hot), not much rain, has good mt and road biking, and not too many people. Oh…and that good job pretty close by. Preferably paying an insane amount of $ but not requiring much actual work. Anything like this available?

  46. Comment by MattC | 07.14.2010 | 8:11 am

    Oh, forgot to mention…this new job I’ll be looking for Down Under can’t require me to know very much. In fact, it would just be better if it were something along the lines of “Donut taster”. That would be my dream job. Do they have any Krispy Kremes Down Under? I wish we had a Tour De Donut around me…I may be a skinny guy, but I am thinking I could give that TdD winner a run for his money.

  47. Comment by Kapokkid | 07.14.2010 | 8:31 am

    I feel very little of your pain, now is a good time in my life and I get to watch most days live. I won’t reveal my secret but… if you haven’t paid 30 bucks for the tour tracker, it is worth five times that. Imagine, no stupid commercials, no Frankie Andreu, some of you may miss Bobke but I don’t, just Phil and Paul and the race. Absolutely outstanding.

  48. Comment by Dan O | 07.14.2010 | 8:37 am

    I’m with you, I watched part of this past Sunday’s stage last night. I still have plenty of the flat stage to watch. No Spoilers here!

  49. Comment by Dan in Sac | 07.14.2010 | 8:54 am

    ****SPOILER ALERT****

    Contador wins the 2010 TdF

    There, I saved you all roughly 40 hours to eat, sleep and ride. U R welcome.

  50. Comment by Dr. Lammler | 07.14.2010 | 10:20 am

    I’m so far behind in my viewing that I’m still catching up with the 2009 Tour.

    It looks like it might be Contador, Schleck, and Armstrong.

    I hope I didn’t ruin the 2009 Tour for anyone.

  51. Comment by JamesInPhoenix | 07.14.2010 | 10:24 am

    Sounds like you need to call in sick, work on your fake cough and scratchy throat sounding voice, and bada-boom! bada-bang! you’re watching the tour. This method should only be used judiciously as it can become addictive, and could result in missing 3 weeks of work each summer as you contract that annual very bad “head cold”, the down side is you may have to buy some upgrades for your doctors seven in order to get that note from him your boss may want to see that explains the extended absence… but hey where are your priorities!?!?

  52. Comment by Barbara | 07.14.2010 | 10:35 am

    At least Al Trautwig has a great “announcer voice” – not only is Craig Hummer an idiot, but he has a REALLY annoying voice.

    I invited a cycling friend over last night for the mountain stage… and she chattered the whole time. She seems to think this is about WATCHING the tour, not paying any attention to what P&P are saying about what is going on. Granted, there are long stretches where this is doable, but I might as well have FF’d to the last mile for all I got last night. She also has firm opinions that are based on watching 2 stages of the TdF every year and paying no attention to cycling the rest of the time. “Where did this Andy Schleck guy come from – nobody ever heard of him before, he can’t win, can he?”

  53. Comment by bikemike | 07.14.2010 | 10:36 am

    My guess is you already “know” who’s won. So, i’ll not be reading your blog until it’s over because i’ll know from your indifference and inflection who the winner really is. Dang it, you are that smart.

  54. Comment by Bryan (not that one) | 07.14.2010 | 10:53 am

    @neca I have my DVR set to record an extra hour for each “Cycling” show. Your DVR might have a similar setting.

    I fast forward though most of the mountain stages, too. I stop to watch when I see someone attacking.

  55. Comment by JAT in Seattle | 07.14.2010 | 12:03 pm

    Matt C, the obvious reply to you wonder job near a cycling paradise and requiring very little work and little skills / knowledge is to look in Canbera…

    but the fact is it’s kind of cold and rainy there.

  56. Comment by Jason | 07.14.2010 | 12:53 pm

    Agreed. Craig Hummer is annoying. If you are sitting watching hours and hours of bike racing then you probably already understand bike racing. We dont need Craig to talk down to us. We dont need Craig to talk at all.
    More annoying are the constant commercials on Versus. It gets worse every year. It’s almost unbearable this year.

  57. Comment by Mini-me | 07.14.2010 | 1:07 pm

    Oooops….did I do that??

    Provisional stage 10 result:

    1. Sergio Paulinho (Radio Shack)
    2. Vasili Kiryienka (Caisse d’Epargne) s.t.
    3. Dries Devenyns (Quick Step) at 1:29
    4. Pierre Rolland (Bbox) s.t.
    5. Mario Aerts (Omega Pharma-Lotto) s.t

    Provisional overall standings:
    1. Andy Schleck (Saxo Bank)
    2. Alberto Contador (Astana) at 0:41
    3. Samuel Sanchez (Euskaltel) at 2:45
    4. Denis Menchov at 2:58
    5. Jurgen van den Broeck (Omega Pharma) at 3:31

  58. Comment by Clydesteve | 07.14.2010 | 1:12 pm

    He means it, folks! You should have seen how pissed off Fatty was at me last year when I spoiled a stage for him (that was way past over via text message!

    Mini-me – Methinks you are a turd.

  59. Comment by Jason | 07.14.2010 | 1:27 pm

    Mini-me. Why would you do that?

    And I forgot to mention, that not only are the constant commercials annoying, but they are the same commercials over and over, which makes it worse.

  60. Comment by Dave | 07.14.2010 | 2:45 pm

    Lance has won and the French crowd “is throwing babies and cheese as is the custom.” Or was that another year?

  61. Comment by Mini-me | 07.14.2010 | 2:58 pm

    I confess what I did was wrong; it was a moment of weakness and selfishness. It was a lame attempt to be Fatty-like and be “tounge-and-cheek”.

    I shall not spoil the remainder of this grand event and I respectfully and humbly seek the forgiveness of those members within the Kingdom of Fatty.


  62. Comment by Haven (KT) | 07.14.2010 | 4:06 pm

    Lucky for me, I work in a black hole (not literally), where no one but me cares about a little bike race in the land of whiny cheese. I mean, the land of cheese and wine. Whatever, it still works.

    We record the early morning show, and have the dvr set up to go 30 minutes past the scheduled end, because we know it never ends on time.

    Then we sit in front of the TV with dinner and drinks and fast forward over the boring stuff and commercials, and watch the interesting stuff. The difficulty lies in knowing at fast forward x3 what’s boring and what’s interesting. We use the Force for that.

    The current problem we have is that we want to watch Deadliest Catch, but have to catch up on the Tour first. Which will never be caught up until the next rest day. Gr.

  63. Pingback by Day 192: Avoiding Tour de France spoilers « Cyclingproject365 | 07.14.2010 | 5:49 pm

    [...] to avoid Twitter almost entirely while the Tour de France is going on. (Apparently Fatty from feels the same way about spoilers.) Since the Tour started last weekend, there have only been a [...]

  64. Comment by Triflefat | 07.14.2010 | 8:19 pm

    Fatty et al,

    Not only do we Australians get to live in God’s own country where all jobs are like that for which MattC is searching and where our view of the Tour is at a (reasonably) reasonable hour,but our lead out man for Paul and Phil is one Matt Keenan. He’s smart, well informed and knows when to talk and when not to. A real gem.

  65. Comment by Ian | 07.14.2010 | 10:56 pm

    Isn’t Floyd Landis winning? Did I miss any real news?

  66. Comment by Anonymous | 07.14.2010 | 11:11 pm

    Rocks fall, everyone dies.

  67. Comment by mtb w | 07.14.2010 | 11:26 pm


    Contador wins, Andy Schleck in 2nd and Lance in 3d. Oh wait, I just watched last year’s TdF. OK, I am really behind on my tivo watching.

  68. Comment by Uni-Tom | 07.14.2010 | 11:29 pm

    Nice to see Bob sporting the Bike MS jersey from the Seattle ride along with his red face. I know he must get at least a few hundred feet above sea level during the Chuckanut Drive section.

    It’s a great event, and I look forward to earning my new vest each year. Bob, I hope to meet you out on the route this September.

  69. Comment by TimD | 07.15.2010 | 4:02 am

    I know what you mean. I have been avoiding all my usual web sites, news channels etc, but got caught out by our local news channel because a local boy won a stage.

    I think the work rate of former President Phil and Paul S is phenominal. They do the live commentary, then put together a highlights show which goes out to about 5 different countries, then they do country specific links for each of those.

    But why does he say Laaaarnce? He’s from Birkenhead!

  70. Comment by Richard | 07.15.2010 | 7:07 am

    Matt – here in Western Australia we get to watch the Tour between the civilised hours of 8 pm and midnight and the commentary is good (see above). Doesn’t rain much or for long and lovely warm summers. Not very crowded – about 1.5 million people in one third of Australia.

    We also have jobs like truck drivers who get paid +$100,000 and train and crane drivers on +$200,000. Our unemployment rate is probably one of the best in the world at about 4% – if you don’t have a job it is because you don’t want one.

    No mountains to speak of for ridng but at 107kg (236 lbs) I’m just fine with that as I have enough trouble on the hills.

    Come on over

  71. Comment by Chris | 07.15.2010 | 8:24 am

    For those that listen to audio streams of the tour, and don’t want to listen to the Versus coverage this has 3 european folks who aren’t too bad on the ears:

    (though admittedly I’m ‘watching’ not ‘listening’)

  72. Comment by Alyson | 07.15.2010 | 9:12 am


    A challenge worthy of Thou & The Ru nner!:-)


  73. Comment by skippy | 07.15.2010 | 9:19 am

    Copy of email to President Nicolas Sarkozy
    “M.Le President Sarkozy”
    In riding for the 13th time the route of the Tour de France i once again come across “french logic”!
    Yesterday was the French National day and at a Sapiers Pompiers station i asked them for a cup of coffee but was told to move on, then the boss kicked the bike to emphasize the message!
    Today i followed the racers for about 30km before a Cadet of the Gendarmerie imposed a halt for my safety!
    I was riding on an empty road as the racers had passed and since i was only following the ¨Defleckage van¨ there was no traffic on this empty road to slow me down.
    When the blockade was lifted after 25 mins there were several thousand annoyed drivers demonstrating their frustration!
    I decided that the road was no longer safe to ride and hitched a ride into the town of Die from where this email travels to your office.
    Last night i met a General of the Gendarmerie and explained i am here also for those of his colleagues whose service in Iraq and Afganistan has changed their lifestyle and causes them to take part in ¨Paralympic Sport¨! He told me of his support for a Japanese Athlete but was unable to advise what his people do for their colleagues!
    Perhaps it is time for you as President of FRANCE to impose a decree on the ASO{tdf people) to invite the paralympians to ride the ¨contre montre¨the same day those racing the TDF, so that the public see these ¨french & european heroes in action!
    Will look forward to seeing you once again at the tour and it will be my pleasure to have you sign another tricot as well as my bike.
    I passed a Livestrong bracelet to His Majesty King Albert 2 in Brussels and will also have one for you and Carla to wear if you choose.
    Sincere wishes from an Advocate for Disabled Sport

  74. Comment by shaun | 07.16.2010 | 6:59 am

    Hey Fatty:
    Saw Lance Twittered about the ‘95 Tour this morning. Brings to mind your post last week RE: old guys and telling stories about past glorious rides.

  75. Comment by Jouni | 07.16.2010 | 9:29 pm

    It is revealed that Alberto Contradiction passes through a narrow crevice to shed his skin…revealing…
    Miguel Indurain!!!

    Take that Lance…Miguel has been using an avatar to win more tours de France.

    Shocking, I know. But just crazy enough to be true.

  76. Comment by rabidrunner | 07.28.2010 | 5:15 pm

    Good grief Hummer. Whatever happened to Al? I was extra especially fond of Al’s deep, sultry voice. Who the heck thought that little pipsqueak Hummer could measure up?

  77. Comment by Deon | 08.31.2011 | 10:57 am

    Grade A stuff. I’m unuqesitonblay in your debt.


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