Paying for Pain

11.16.2010 | 11:40 am

How can you tell a serious athlete from a non-serious athlete? Easy. The serious athlete will, from time to time, get a massage.

And I’m not talking about the kind of massage you receive from your significant other, the kind where they knead your shoulders and say things like, “you’re really tense,” because they want to seem like they know what they’re doing.


I’m talking about a professional massage. Given by a professional masseuse.

And, having had my first professional massage last weekend, I feel I am highly qualified to describe the experience, so you can decide whether getting a professional massage is something you would like.

Painful Dilemmas

The Runner scheduled us for massages — both at the same time — to be had a few days after we got back from the NYC marathon — a treat to reward us for finishing our last big race of the year. It wasn’t until we got there that it occurred to me to wonder: would the masseuses be men or women?

As it turned out, there was one of each.

Which didn’t help me at all.

Here are the things I considered — all within the space of about four seconds — when confronted with the choice of which masseuse I wanted for myself.

  • The woman masseuse is the pro; the man is the apprentice.
  • For some vague — but probably very neanderthaloid and unenlightened — reason, I am icked out at the idea of getting a massage from a man.
  • For a much more obvious but perhaps equally neanderthaloid reason, I don’t like the idea of another man handling my woman.
  • I was aware of the intellectual inconsistency in my preferring to get a massage from a woman, but also not wanting another man anywhere near my wife. I explained this in my head as being justifiable because — being one — I knew that men are generally evil.

I explained all this to The Runner in a hushed, urgent whisper, as quickly as I could. She rolled her eyes, called me a dope, and said that since she had been here and had the pro masseuse (as opposed to the apprentice) give her a massage, that she would take the apprentice. I’d get the pro, so I’d get the full pro effect.

I Discover My Comfort Level

So the masseuse shows me into my room and says, “I’ll leave you to undress to your comfort level.” Which had me pondering what my comfort level might be. The truth is, I was completely comfortable remaining fully dressed, and knew for a fact that the less I was wearing, the less comfortable I’d be.

On the other hand, I didn’t want to miss out on the full massage experience.

So, I compromised and got entirely naked.

OK, I guess that’s not much of a compromise. But — and I don’t know if this is different than in most places — pretty much all of me (except the part being worked on at the moment) was always under a sheet, so I wasn’t quite as out there as I might have been. Which I expect was probably as much a relief for the masseuse as it was for me.

I Resolve to Not Cry Out

The Masseuse asked what we’d be concentrating on. I told her that my legs were still sore from the marathon, so I’d like her to concentrate on them.

As she got to work, she said, “Let me know if you’d like more or less pressure.” Which caused me to think two things:

  • There was no way I was going to ask for more pressure, because I knew from hearing other people that massages can get pretty intense, and I did not want to ask for more pain than I was already destined for.
  • There was no way I was going to ask for less pressure, because I didn’t want her to think I am a sissy.

I am happy to announce that as she worked on my legs, I did not cry out. Indeed, I did not even feel like I wanted to cry out. The pain was about at the level I expected and left me feeling good.

I do, however, feel a little bad about something. You see, as a conscientious, civic-minded, leg-shaving cyclist, I figured that my legs would be a pleasure for the masseuse to work on. And you know, they probably would have been.

If it weren’t for one little problem.

See, as we get further into the cold months, I grow increasingly neglectful of my shaving duties. Which is to say, I sometimes will go close to a week — instead of every other day, as in the peak cycling months — without shaving my legs.

They get prickly.

Which probably explains how, due to stubble-friction-induced heat, the masseuse’s hands caught fire.

A Startling Revelation, Or Two. Maybe.

I should probably point out that at one point, as I was laying facedown, the masseuse bent my legs back, at the knee. When she did this, she hit resistance right about the time my lower leg was at a 90-degree angle to my upper leg. Another ten degrees and my leg came to a halt. It would go no further without something giving way (as a side note, it may have been academically interesting to find out whether it would be bone, tendon, muscle or ligament that gave way first, but I’m glad we did not find out).

The masseuse let out an involuntary gasp: never, I believe had she witnessed a less-flexible leg.

That, kids, is what happens if you program your range of motion for more than a decade by riding a bike and never ever doing stretching exercises.

Alas, this was not the only revelation from the massage session. At least I think there might have been more. You know how I undressed to my “comfort level?” Well, as I laid on my back and the masseuse massaged my legs, the sheet covering my buttocks seemed to shift around a bit.

Perhaps more than a bit.

Perhaps, it must be said, more than I would have liked. And now than I think about it — seeing as I am a hairy, middle-aged man and stuff — more than the masseuse probably liked, too.

[Note to the masseuse: Sorry.]

I Will…Not…Cry…Out…In…Agonaaaahhghghhthurudlkjdu!

Sadly, the leg massage gave way to a back massage. Which would have been just fine, if it had been less painful. Or — this is just a thought — not painful at all.

But it was not unpainful. Rather, the lack of an absence of pain was considerable.

And in short, it hurt.

Specifically, I’m pretty sure that as she worked her fingers beneath my right shoulder blade, the masseuse actually grabbed my right lung and flicked it. Just because she could.

And you know what? Having your lung flicked hurts.

Also, I’m very nearly certain that she broke off a piece of my labrum. And please bear in mind I don’t have all that much labrum to spare in the first place.

So I don’t feel even a little bit embarrassed that — well after the point where a lesser man might have divulged the whereabouts of the nuclear launch codes or whatever other secrets he might have thought he’d never reveal — I said, softly, “Uncle.”

To which she replied, “Stop holding your breath so much. Just breathe.”

And you know, I would have.

Except I’m pretty sure my exhalations would have come out as whimpers.


  1. Comment by Katherine | 11.16.2010 | 11:50 am

    My husband’s birthday happened to fall a few days before his first marathon. I gave him what I thought was a very generous gift (considering we had only been dating a few months) by scheduling a professional sports massage for him about a week after the race. He reported back – in the nicest way possible – that it was the most painful thing he had ever experienced and please, please don’t make him do that again. He has since run five more marathons but gotten no more massages.

  2. Comment by Darren | 11.16.2010 | 11:50 am

    Perfect. Absolutely perfect description of a massage. I too have had my lung flicked as you described.

  3. Comment by Anthony | 11.16.2010 | 12:06 pm

    A deep tissue massage is ten times worse. I usually get one during the middle of cycling season, since I too, hate to stretch. I moan and groan the entire time due to the pain, but it is so worth it afterward.

  4. Comment by Roger Whitney | 11.16.2010 | 12:08 pm

    Girlie man

    (no insult to women intended)

  5. Comment by Clancy | 11.16.2010 | 12:14 pm

    I appreciate the insinuation that I’m a serious athlete despite having exactly one timed race to my credit. Or perhaps it was just my past whereby I lived with a massage therapist for 5 years. :) Anyway – on a serious note – give it some time. Deep massages used to hurt me too. Now I challenge the therapist to go as deep as they can. Sure, it still hurts from time-to-time, but it’s all good. And it definitely aids in recovery.

  6. Comment by Jenn | 11.16.2010 | 12:26 pm

    Oh, Fatty…and here I thought we had so much in common! I am going to email you a post I’d had on my blog for awhile, about the exact opposite phenomenon -I want to be practically bloodied by a masseuse, and this woman barely touched me. I thought up the entire post while I was getting the massage, in order to distract me from harming her. (Post is no longer on my site because I said less-than-flattering things about my husband’s employer…who of course subsequently read it.)

  7. Comment by Mark | 11.16.2010 | 12:29 pm

    That’s what defines “hilarious” – telling your story about what *everyone* feels. You nailed my first (and only) massage story for sure! I used 1/2 hour of a “gift” one hour and never went back. I’ll stretch more. Great post!

  8. Comment by Lisa | 11.16.2010 | 12:30 pm

    I get massages on a regular basis. I used to get them solely for relaxation. Once I became a runner and a cyclist, I got sports massages instead to get the knots out! It works wonders. There are cheap ways to get massages, too. It doesn’t have to break the bank.

  9. Comment by Kaitlin | 11.16.2010 | 1:22 pm

    I’m sitting in a cubicle, but still couldn’t help laughing out loud as I read this…awesome!

  10. Comment by CJ :) | 11.16.2010 | 1:30 pm

    I live with a massage therapy instructor and a massage therapist (mother and son). I can’t even let on that something hurts without getting abused.

    In all fairness, though, I completely credit my mother with the fact that I don’t have carpal tunnel problems.

  11. Comment by sdcadbiker | 11.16.2010 | 1:59 pm

    You didn’t say if you are planning to go back…

    Seriously, the first time is definitely the worst, if only from a “psychological comfort” POV; you will relax more (and the sheet will move less!) as you get used to the experience. During training, a half hour leg massage every two weeks works wonders.

  12. Comment by Skought | 11.16.2010 | 2:15 pm

    Who wants a body massage?

  13. Comment by Josh | 11.16.2010 | 2:23 pm

    That exactly matches my first experience (free post tri massage)! Legs were no biggy, but I wanted to scream like a little girl at the shoulders! When it felt like she was trying to palpate my spleen via my shoulder blade, I whipped this bad boy out: “Uh, can you go easy on the shoulder blade? I have a separated shoulder.” You had the perfect excuse and you didn’t use it! The tears that were streaming down my face really sold it.

  14. Comment by Bryan (not that one) | 11.16.2010 | 2:27 pm

    My wife has tried to get me to get a massage numerous times and I’ve never done it. Thanks Fatty and commenters for the additional experiences I can use to wrangle my way out of it the next time.

  15. Comment by Dave | 11.16.2010 | 2:28 pm

    Fatty I hate to be the one to point this out but the male “masseuse” was actually a masseur. I have heard that some of them get bent out of shape by being misdesignated so its a good thing you got the woman or you may have been in real pain.

    Wow, I learned something today while reading my own blog! Which just goes to show, folks, that this is not just an award-winning blog written by a beloved blogger, but is DOWNRIGHT EDUCATIONAL.

    And it’s less filling! – FC

  16. Comment by Anne | 11.16.2010 | 2:38 pm

    Fatty. Sitting here with a big smile on my face almost LOL. Now you know what real massage is like for athletes. I get this type of massage. Most people think it is really pleasant, but no, it is just like you describe. So, you can imagine you happy I was glad to see your blog post on this :) Just a note. You eventually learn to just breathe.

  17. Comment by Genaro | 11.16.2010 | 2:43 pm

    Two years ago my wife and I stayed at a swanky spa resort in Puerto Rico on our honeymoon. Part of our package included a couple’s massage in this really nice tranquil beach-side room. That’s where the peace and tranquility of it all ended. The pain I endured through that massage has made me swear it off for life. It literally sounded like the masseuse was cracking her knuckles under the skin of my back and front. Maybe, it was a bad massage and the girl had no idea what she was doing. But, I will take my chances and just swear it off all together. I have been thinking about yoga though because you are right. The motion of cycling locks your muscles up in a way that when you try and do anything else it can be agony.

  18. Comment by GJ Jackie | 11.16.2010 | 3:01 pm

    Hey Fatty – since it turned cold, I assume you’re wearing some sort of leg covering when you ride. Why on are you still shaving your legs? For that matter, why on earth do guys do this at all???? Give me a hairy manly man anytime.

  19. Comment by Dr Bryce | 11.16.2010 | 3:19 pm

    Hey Fatty,

    The proper term is “Massage Therapist” and will keep you out of trouble for future posts and reference.

    You have a smart wife to have booked an appointment soon after the Marathon season for your recovery. You’d be amazed at the benefits if you make it a monthly part of your training/running/riding routine. Or more often to help you recover from the hip/knee issues you’ve been mentioning. (1995 grad Utah College of Massage Therapy)

    Or better yet, call me to figure out the shoulder to the knees issues you’ve been struggling with.

  20. Comment by rich | 11.16.2010 | 3:27 pm

    That was hilarious! I actually kept laughing out loud…it’s a perfect description of my first massage all the way down to the psychological questions of comfort level…

    Although, I now go just about every couple of months…I love a good sports massage…

  21. Comment by Geo | 11.16.2010 | 3:35 pm

    I had my first massage more than a decade ago and I go a few times a year.

    You can get various types of massage for different pain intensities (so to speak).

    Some techniques are just to get the body flowing and flush a few toxins and make you feel lively and relaxed at the same time.

    Now I just go for the sports or deep tissue. Sure it hurts in the short term but in the long run it makes muscles that had been aching simply stop hurting.

    I remember after my first massage my calves being especially knotted and walking away thinking “everything feels good but my calves still hurt.” But the next day my calves didn’t hurt and didn’t for quite some time afterwards.

    Since then I usually accept the challenge and let the massage therapist use as much pressure as they need. Sure, sometimes it borders on lung flicking, but I know that it will all be good in the end. The only exception was when I had severe muscle spasms in my upper back causing a trip to the doctor and physical therapy. Before I saw the orthopedist an emergency room doc (yes, the pain was that bad and the fact I couldn’t turn my head scared the devil out of me) suggested a massage. It was the only time I asked the therapist to reduce the pressure and she even used a numbing spray on my back to ease the pain.

    But you know, half of the physical therapy for the injury was, you guessed it, deep tissue and ultrasonic massage of the injured muscles.

    Fatty, don’t look at it as the painful thing it was. Once you get past the comfort level (I’ve had men and women do massages and, frankly, you are just a giant hunk of meat to them and for those who have done it for years they have probably seen just about everything) massages are absolutely awesome.

    Think of the pain you get on a long hill climb, but how good you feel afterwards. Think of a massage as the same. It may hurt when doing it, but the results pay off.

  22. Comment by Sara | 11.16.2010 | 3:51 pm

    I’ve only experience some mild discomfort during massages but have ended up with bruises on my arms and legs afterwards.

  23. Comment by Jenni | 11.16.2010 | 3:53 pm

    Since they never massage the butt or the anti-butt, leave your undies on. They will always nudge the waistband down a little if they work on the very low back, and usually tuck the sheet into the waistband so no sheet movement.

    Did you get the headache afterwords?

  24. Comment by Squirrelhead | 11.16.2010 | 4:33 pm

    I was laughing out loud at my desk as I read this. The shoulder blade area always hurts big time when they are massaging me but it feels so good when it is over. I have never been brave enough for a deep tissue massage but I think I am going to try it soon.

  25. Comment by Penina | 11.16.2010 | 5:27 pm

    I’m sending this one to my sports massage therapist.
    Oh FRANK!

  26. Comment by lauren | 11.16.2010 | 5:43 pm

    Fatty, try having a muscle strip done. That brings tears to the eyes.

    Nothing quite so painful as having a physiotherapist running her fingers down my leg from my hip to my knee with a considerable amount of force to break up the muscle fibres. My leg was a mess of bruises for weeks. The really scary bit? She was going easy on me. She said she usually did it much, much harder and was used to making grown men cry.

    Sports physiotherapists are scary (in a good way).

  27. Comment by Geo | 11.16.2010 | 7:07 pm

    I find they always hit a spot I didn’t know was knotted and sore.

    Once a therapist was working my hip and I could feel the knot break up into tiny little ones and go away. It was a very odd sensation, especially since I didn’t know there were knots there in the first place.

    Remember, Lance and Levi have massages after almost every day of a competitive ride so a finely-tuned athlete like yourself should add this to the arsenal as well.

  28. Comment by kate@ SwimBikeQuilt | 11.16.2010 | 7:53 pm

    I have not laughed this hard in a long time. Well done!

  29. Comment by bobbie | 11.16.2010 | 7:55 pm

    Too funny, and the Runner was right… dope!
    (said with a big smile!)
    I LOVE deep tissue massages!!!

  30. Comment by Nurse Betsy | 11.16.2010 | 9:07 pm

    I go for a 90 minute deep tissue massage once a month. In fact, I just had mine yesterday and fell asleep during it. I love ,my massages. You made me laugh really hard. Oh Fatty, silly, silly Fatty.

  31. Comment by Ian | 11.16.2010 | 9:54 pm

    At risk of using seriousness to break up the tone of a well-written and humours article.

    A coupla things, should you ever go back. And you should.

    Believe it or not there’s an approach to receiving a massage, and when you become accustomed, it’s awesome.

    In massage, particular sports and deep tissue massage, there’s good radiating-muscular-tension-releasing pain and bad nothing-good-can-come-of-this pain. Generally as the recipient, you can tell good and bad pain straight away.

    You can manage the pain by breathing. Don’t hold your breath. Breathe man. Big deep cyclical breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. As noisy as you want. As you breathe, focus on the pain and imagine the pain and tension being exhaled with your breath. In the bright black-and-white of a blog space it sounds all new-age and freaky, but believe me, it works. Bigtime.

    The therapist knows it’s going to hurt. That’s just how it is. The hurt is all those tense smashedup muscles fibres being freed. Harden up. Breathe. Let them know where you’re at.

    When I have a good massage, I swear, colours are more vivid, birdsong in the trees is clearer, the individual sounds in the traffic are clearer. I walk taller. And my shoulders ache, But it’s the ache of having being pummeled into freedom of movement. It goes away after a day, and you have the freedom left.

    I am waaaaay overdue for a massage.

  32. Comment by Philly Jen | 11.16.2010 | 10:15 pm


    Nice to know that you’re still putting your Finnish language skills to good use.

    @Jenni: I hereby nominate The Anti-Butt for immediate induction into Luxury Body Hall of Fame.

  33. Comment by Richard | 11.17.2010 | 2:25 am

    I would give my left nad if I could afford the time and money to get a weekly sports massage.

    Unfortunately, I only get to go irregularly and therefore have to spend time stretching which is a poor second. Either that or rolling around on tennis or golf balls depending on how manly I feel.

    Fingers and hands – heh – when they use the elbow, then you know you are alive!

    I had to see a Podiatrist a couple of weeks ago (big toe joint playing up) and he sprayed “magic spray” on my foot before he massaged it. (Magic Spray is the stuff the feels really cold that we used to use in field hockey when whacked badly by a ball or stick). Weird! Worked though – problem solvered.

  34. Comment by Rob L | 11.17.2010 | 7:21 am

    I feel your pain fatty. But it does help. I get my shoulders worked on about every 3 months. I’m useless up top for a few days but afterwards everything feels better for at least a month or two especially from typing/computer work.

    Otherwise I’d ask for a relaxation focused massage, not very “Deep” but they are relaxing. I can easily fall asleep in those. More typically I only get these on vacations.

  35. Comment by Kathy A | 11.17.2010 | 7:28 am

    Ok, confess. Did you get totally naked so you could make us laugh when we read it on your blog??? Well it worked. :)

  36. Comment by Geo | 11.17.2010 | 8:40 am

    OK, my last post on this. serious.

    If you continue with massages try a few different therapists until you find one you like. They all use different pressures, techniques, routines etc. Once you find one you really like stick with them. They get to know you and the areas that you need focus and you feel more comfortable with them touching you. It helps a lot.

    I recently moved and found a therapist I like but have tried a couple others. I’ll be going back to the one I like next time because the experience is just so much better. And all this talk makes me want to schedule a massage soon.

  37. Comment by Connie | 11.17.2010 | 9:01 am

    Oh man…I’m just in tears from laughing so hard! My beautiful son just graduated from massage therapy school and is working on his internship to get his license. I’ve never been one for massages…all that touching and stuff. But being a good Mom, I agreed to let the Kiddo practice his skills on me and help him get his hours. Sweet Mother of Gretzky! I was seriously suffering. I yelped and cried and squealed and cussed and jumped around…the whole time with him calmly telling me, “Just breathe.” (and rolling his eyes a lot…) Hmmm…I remember someone telling me to “just breathe” when I was giving birth to him too…

    But I have to admit, it was completely awesome when he was done. I felt like a million dollars. And after reading this blog, I’m really glad of two things…one, that other people are as big of massage weenies as I am, and two, it’s gonna be way cool to have a RMT in the family.

  38. Comment by Ben | 11.17.2010 | 9:04 am

    This story made my day. My boss walked into my office as my eyes were filling with tears of laughter. Thanks

  39. Comment by MattC | 11.17.2010 | 9:08 am

    Excellent post Fatty…perfectly describes my one (and only) massage. It was a gift from my wife for my bday last year. Afterwards I thanked her and very kindly asked if we can just go back to gift certs from Performance (for bike parts) or Home Depot/Lowes from now on. I’m a guy…no need to suprise me, just stick with what works.

  40. Comment by brandon | 11.17.2010 | 9:45 am

    Thanks for not posting pictures!

  41. Comment by muskyhunter | 11.17.2010 | 11:33 am

    I think this sums up why being a pro athlete isn’t for sissies!

    Loved the post, perfect discription of a massage… but I love the pain, reminds me of getting a tattoo.

  42. Comment by Linda G | 11.17.2010 | 1:12 pm

    Right now I’m getting between 4 and 6 hours of massage a week. My massage therapist specializes in Russian Sports Massage, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. She primarily works on professional athletes with massive amounts of muscle.

    She has introduced me to fascial scraping… Which is also exactly what it sounds like. Fascial scraping consists of the therapist taking a specialized tool and literally scraping the adhesions/scar tissue out of areas. Good times, because a lot of the areas i’ve had scraped don’t have a lot of muscle tissue – ankles, neck, feet, knees.

    At different times my therapist has moved my esophagus to the side and worked on the front of my cervical vertebrae… Gone through my ribs from the back to get to the insertion points of my psoas on the side of my lumbar vertebrae… Gone up under my ribs to work on the diaphragm…

    It’s totally not “fluff and buff” massage. :)

  43. Comment by Clydesteve | 11.17.2010 | 2:11 pm

    Wait a second, Fatty! You have been Praying for Rain!?!

    Stop it, right now. Here in Oregon we have more than enough. Please, please stop, or I shall have to…. oh. never mind.

    On a more serious note, your blog becomes doubly funny when so many people take it seriously and start giving you un-asked-for advice.

    The last time I had a good facial scraping, I vowed to never land on my face again. When I go down, especially when road riding, I try to sacrifice my buns – way more of that to go around.

  44. Comment by Clydesteve | 11.17.2010 | 2:12 pm

    crap. whateverhapped to my

  45. Comment by Clydesteve | 11.17.2010 | 2:12 pm


  46. Comment by Philly Jen | 11.17.2010 | 2:44 pm

    Clydesteve, perhaps you lost your slash-b as part of your strategy to sacrifice your buns…?

    Or maybe this is another t-shirt in the making

    Like you but louder

    (I kid, I kid. You know you luminesce up my life.)

  47. Comment by Kari Albano | 11.17.2010 | 5:40 pm

    I have to say, having been on the other end of that (I am a
    MT) is a bit interesting too because in school you practice on each other. Theres always at least on smelly, hasnt showered in several days person, on teeny tiny person that is bruised by the lightest touch, one thats excessively afraid of foot cooties, and one giant chunk of flab that resembles Fat Bastard from Austin Powers (except the one in my class was black and always fell asleep and drooled on my table). Having worked on eveything inbetween, it is helpfull to breath, so they can move with, not against your bodys pace, and that different massage styles make all the difference in the world. Sports massage covers three main categories: preperation, maintenance and recovery. For recovery they should have been much gentler, or you can ask for swedish next time, its the most rexaling and gentle of massage types available and almost every massage studio, spa and gym offers it. Ease into the tougher types from there

  48. Comment by Pedals Cycling | 11.18.2010 | 4:30 am

    Haha. What a funny yet informative post. Well, I’m not a serious athlete because I haven’t tried a professional massage my entire life. But then I get rid of my bodily pains by requesting my wife a bentusa. You have to place a little candle on a coin place it on your back and later seal it with a glass. Afterwards I feel relieved but maybe I’ll get a massage myself one of these days so that I too can discover my comfort level. :)

  49. Comment by Penina | 11.18.2010 | 7:06 am

    Fascial scraping sounds like Graston technique, which has REALLY been helpful to get through a bout of plantar fasciitis…of course when they came at me with the ‘torture tools’ the first time, I could swear I was ready to run again before they ever touched me!

  50. Comment by eric | 11.18.2010 | 7:16 am

    Initially… I couldn’t help think of the classic Seinfeld episode with George getting a massage from Raymond. Thats what kept me laughing. Ever seen that one Fatty?

  51. Comment by Dr. Brett | 11.18.2010 | 10:12 am

    I, too have had exactly one professional massage. It went swimmingly until my lower back/side area where my ticklishness took over and I broke into uncontrollable silent, shoulder-shaking laughter-gasps. Never been back.

  52. Comment by bubbaseadog | 11.18.2010 | 4:22 pm

    your lucky she didnt use her elbows for deep tissue now thats torture and it gives new meaning to a….and elbows

  53. Comment by Mindy | 11.18.2010 | 5:32 pm

    I have got to stop reading your stories at work. I have to think of dead puppies, economic woes and other such sad things, while practicing slow controlled breathing, in order to prevent myself from bursting out laughing. If anyone were to look over they’d think I was having spasms or a seizure. Ahh…good times.

  54. Comment by sunny | 11.19.2010 | 5:33 pm

    been there….done that….spoken like a true girlie man. still sitting here laughing!

  55. Comment by Kel | 11.22.2010 | 12:34 pm

    A few years ago I had the awesome experience of listening in on a conversation between my he-man husband and lovely, about-to-start-dating daughter. It went something along the lines of “NEVER trust ANY male. They are ALL bad, bad people. DO NOT trust them. They lie to get what they want. AND they definitely do NOT want the same things as you.” So much for gender equality.

    Whenever I hear or read another man espousing the same opinion it just cracks me up. Can’t you all just behave? Geez!

  56. Comment by Ian | 11.22.2010 | 5:24 pm

    this comes late, and I do wish I had thought of it earlier…

    So, why is it that you shave your legs again? Apparently not for the massage.

  57. Comment by plutosdad | 11.24.2010 | 8:29 am

    I have lots of ITBS and problems with the outside of my lower leg too. I remember after having a bunch of massages and was slowly working up to letting her push harder and harder. One time I said “you can push harder” (on my it band near my knees), then it was all I could do to not make any noise. The next day I looked and I was all black and blue down there.


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