Today is the office Christmas party, wherein we eat, drink, and try not to act like the huge nerds you pretty much have to be in order to work at the company where I work (for those of you who don’t know, I now work at Gartner, which acquired Burton Group at the beginning of this year).
Every year, as part of this party, we have a white elephant gift exchange. In previous years, the gifts I have given have been:
- A variety box of Spam, which is to say, one can of every kind of Spam I could find at the grocery store (it turns out there are quite a few)
- Two marshmallow guns and a couple bags of marshmallow shooters
- A variety pack of weird things, including 50 Chinese finger traps, 25 Silly Putty Eggs, 250 super balls, 50 miniature yo-yos, 25 whoopee cushions, 50 assorted plastic animals that, when squeezed, bug their eyes out, and 1 tube of vegemite
This year, though, I pulled out all the stops and got something that every single person at an IT research company would want to have:
A (more than?) life-size cardboard cut-out of Justin Bieber.
This is not going to be easy to wrap (especially since I don’t plan to fold it back up before I wrap it), but I think I’m up to the challenge. I have experience with wrapping up large presents.
Alternate Universe Cycling-Related White Elephant Exchange
To be honest, though, it’s not easy for me to come up with great White Elephant gifts for normal people. If, however, I were to somehow magically be transported to a place where all of us did a white elephant exchange, I think I’d be awesome. And also, I wouldn’t have to go out and buy something.
I know, in fact, exactly what I’d wrap up: a 1-gallon can of apple-flavored Cytomax (those of you who remember apple-flavored Cytomax just gave an involuntary shudder).
What — if you were restricted to cycling-related stuff and had to use something you already have on-hand — would you bring?