Sick Day. Talk Amongst Yourselves.

02.7.2011 | 1:18 pm

Until this very second, I have spent all my available time today taking care of sick kids. Not sick as in the kind of sickness you get by reading too much (i.e., any) Stephen KIng, but the kind of sickness you get from being around other kids.

Symptoms include fever, sore throat, and coughing, mostly. And grumpiness. But that’s me, so it doesn’t count.

What I would like you to do, then, is please pretend I have just written something very funny and clever and insightful and maybe even bike-related, and then leave a comment about that really awesome post you imagine I just wrote.

I shall then read your comments, and my heart will swell with pride over the way I somehow managed to write such an excellent and thought-provoking post today.



  1. Comment by JEB | 02.7.2011 | 1:20 pm


  2. Comment by Zeeeter | 02.7.2011 | 1:25 pm

    Sickest post ever!

  3. Comment by Tim | 02.7.2011 | 1:28 pm

    Amazing. I would have never thought of that! I feel like I can ride all day with that insight!

    Thank you for sharing your awesomeness.

  4. Comment by GenghisKhan | 02.7.2011 | 1:29 pm

    Ecellent post, Fatty! This is the reason I get up on Monday’s and you did not disappoint! I particularly enjoyed your well-crafted and insightful comments and observations today. Kudos, chapeau and bravo!

    @JEB: Given that this is, I’m pretty certain that there are plenty of “A”s to go around now that you have “L”ed yours “O”.

    @Zeester: Sick indeed.

  5. Comment by Lisa | 02.7.2011 | 1:39 pm

    Every time I read a Fatty post, I learn something. He is a great educator.

  6. Comment by bikemike | 02.7.2011 | 1:46 pm

    was going to start reading the stephen king epic the dark tower series. i understand it may be made into a movie(s). i’ve been dissapointed with his work before. basically when the ending sucks, it makes for a bad book reading experience. someone prove me wrong on this one.

    i am, however, reading stephen hunter’s new bob lee swagger sniper novel. if you like your good ol’ revenge best served from a bullet fired 2 miles out with pinpoint delivery, this is your guy.

    lee child’s jack reacher books do the same thing but with much greater comic relief.

    someone may or might not have been blown up on their bike in any one of these books. you’ll have to read them to find out.

  7. Comment by Sramtaro | 02.7.2011 | 1:46 pm

    I can’t believe that you would do an entire writeup of the new bike build (a bamboo/hemp/flax hardtail belt-drive with matching rigid fork on 48″ custom wood rim unicycle wheels) and completely neglect to post pictures! Even a sick person can operate a simple camera phone, jeez! Feel better, Fatty.

  8. Comment by Tom Fury | 02.7.2011 | 2:01 pm

    Best. Post. Ever.

    (Of course, I’m pretending …)

  9. Comment by kate C. | 02.7.2011 | 2:04 pm

    Long-time reader, first (or maybe second) time commenter. This is my far my favorite post you’ve ever written, so I just had to comment. Thanks!

  10. Comment by old guy | 02.7.2011 | 2:17 pm

    Fatty, great post. Insightful. Thanks.
    Slight subject change, are you able to use your superpower of persuasion on the Davis LiveSTRONG organizers to get the routes released? Are we on the former ToC stage? Davis Double century route? Some diabolical combination? Or am I just stupid and cannot find it on the site?

  11. Comment by Mike Roadie | 02.7.2011 | 2:20 pm

    Amazing as always! I will use those words of wisdom in my daily life for many, many years to come. I don’t know how you come up with this stuff day in and day out, but you are a genius!

    How’s that?

  12. Comment by Dave Shaw | 02.7.2011 | 2:20 pm

    That was great. I think its amazing that you beat Levi Leipheimer in that 50k time trial on the new Trek Speed Concept that you are going to give away in the very near future. That’s awesome. Way to go Fatty!

  13. Comment by Christine | 02.7.2011 | 2:21 pm

    I woke up hoping you would address this very subject and you did! Thank you for all your hard work and pithy comments. I really love your blog best!

    //get well wishes to the kiddos and stay healthy wishes to you and the runner//

  14. Comment by Eric L | 02.7.2011 | 2:22 pm

    Kellene’s picture’s really made this post. They really showed off how much your biker tan has faded and how high you can jump. Congrats on the epic win and I really hope this time I win the Orbea with Di2.

  15. Comment by Pat F | 02.7.2011 | 2:22 pm

    This is so true and this will settle once and for all the debate between tubular vs. clincher.

    Thanks for the insight.

  16. Comment by owen | 02.7.2011 | 2:24 pm

    just when I started doubting you and your writing abilities you go and do something like this….AND totally redeem yourself!! nice work Fatty.

  17. Comment by Santi | 02.7.2011 | 2:26 pm

    While the idea of attaching a t-shirt launcher to the handlebars is awesome, I think you’d have to pump up your fork to almost unsafe pressure to deal with the weight.

    I can see it already, UCI approved t-shirt cannon…

  18. Comment by Zeke Yount | 02.7.2011 | 2:29 pm

    I don’t know – no, I’m really pretty unclear with where you were going on that one. I hung with you well through the first 47 paragraphs. It was on the 48th one somewhere around the 10th sentence that I seemed to get lost. Can we go back just a couple of paragraphs and try to clear up that last point? Exactly, why is it that you prefer running behind the Runner instead of beside or in front of the Runner. I really, really got lost on that one and it seemed to be a pretty important point leading to what is probably an amazing ending… Can you attach pictures to help clarify the issue?


  19. Comment by neil | 02.7.2011 | 2:34 pm

    Another symptom is being forced to watch iCarly with your sick kids. I’m there too.

  20. Comment by Dave | 02.7.2011 | 2:39 pm

    Once again Fatty you have exceeded all expectations. Well Done!

    Feel better soon.

  21. Comment by Dan | 02.7.2011 | 2:52 pm

    Excellent post. Are your sure they are sick and it wasn’t too much Super Bowl?

    We will look forward to another excellent post tomorrow!

  22. Comment by Greg | 02.7.2011 | 2:54 pm

    Sick sucks.
    You are next…to get it.

  23. Comment by Joe P | 02.7.2011 | 2:54 pm

    Nobody else should even try for the bloggies this year. Game over!

  24. Comment by Edie | 02.7.2011 | 2:55 pm

    You have GOT to be kidding! I am laughing so hard, I’m in tears! I especially love the bit about your front wheel and the park ranger’s foot.
    Wow. Just hysterical!

  25. Comment by Deke | 02.7.2011 | 3:31 pm

    Loved the part about that time your friend stole the cow.

  26. Comment by rokrider | 02.7.2011 | 3:39 pm

    Absolutely amazing Fatty. Not only will your reforms put a stop to all doping in professional cycling immediately, but the tip about adding a little lemon juice to prevent browning is brilliant.

  27. Comment by Dent | 02.7.2011 | 3:58 pm


    I mistakenly took a big gulp of soda before starting today’s post. This was the funniest, insiteful entry I’ve seen in my long history of avoiding work with blogs, RSS, and watching random YouTube videos.

    Clearly it’s all your fault I sprayed my soda all over my keyboard. You owe me a new laptop.

    Since I haven’t received my winning prize from the Holiday weight-loss event yet… you can just toss the laptop in the same box…

  28. Comment by Pineapple | 02.7.2011 | 4:28 pm

    Oh boy! Sick!
    Did you get to clean up somebody else’s vomit 5 times in one night?
    I did!

    Hope everyone gets to feeling better soon :-)

  29. Comment by MikeL | 02.7.2011 | 4:29 pm

    Awesome. Reading this post was a Zen moment for me.

  30. Comment by Haven (KT) | 02.7.2011 | 4:29 pm

    Wow, you really outdid yourself today, Fatty!

    I wasn’t sure how you were going to tie in all the threads of the story— between the escaped koala, the exploding box of large rubber bands and the staple remover, it seemed like for sure you were in trouble this time. I’m confused though; how did the use of the red sharpie (twin tip, natch) help you out of that jam?

    Brilliant. Just– brilliant.

  31. Comment by MattC | 02.7.2011 | 4:30 pm

    HaHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!! Man oh MAN are one funny dude! You’re gonna have a hard time topping THIS post I can tell you!

    And FYI, I was sporting the 2011 Team Fatty colors on my long ride Saturday…and got some comments from people I passed and ended up chatting w/ at the top of the climbs (comments such as “You’re not fat…how can you wear that?” was the general chatter, along w/ where to get one of your jerseys being the other main topic). Maybe next year you can come up with a ’slim cyclist’ jersey for those of us who fit that bill…or maybe a FAT with a circle around the word FAT. Just thoughts…

    However, I didn’t waste the opportunity and gave my very best sales-pitch to get them to join TEAM FATTY Davis. I talked up the event as the BEST RUN/ORGANIZED bike ride I’ve ever done (and it is). All that AND fighting Cancer? How can ANYBODY resist that?

    And speaking of joining the team…we are currently sitting at only 79 members. Surely we can do better than that! Time’s a wastin’ people…we need help! PLEASE??? PRETTY PLEASE??

  32. Comment by Kate | 02.7.2011 | 4:32 pm

    Can I get that autographed on my new Fat Cyclist jersey? Or possible engraved onto my toptube?

    It’s -40 C here and I want to go cycling now. Cue to look for studded tires.

  33. Comment by Beth B | 02.7.2011 | 4:41 pm

    Insightful post today; you’re amazing as always. Thanks for sharing.

  34. Comment by Kathleen@ForgingAhead | 02.7.2011 | 4:41 pm

    Your brilliance never fails to amaze me!

  35. Comment by axel in texas | 02.7.2011 | 4:56 pm

    unicycling helps against grumpyness, you should try. And it gives plenty to write about…

  36. Comment by Scott | 02.7.2011 | 4:58 pm

    A recumbent! I always knew you’d have the perfect fix to those bathroom problems!

  37. Comment by Onomastic | 02.7.2011 | 5:05 pm

    Given the number of comments generated by an almost content-free post, doesn’t this suggest a less labor-intensive approach to future entries? Kind of Seinfold to the next degree. Don’t write a post about nothing. Write nothing. We respond anyway. Your reputation continues to grow. You have more time to ride – as do we, I guess. Perfect all around.

  38. Comment by George Not Hincapie | 02.7.2011 | 5:21 pm

    humph, looks like the Emperor’s new kit to me…

  39. Comment by Mikeonhisbike | 02.7.2011 | 5:22 pm

    That was the best post of the year!!!

  40. Comment by RANTWICK | 02.7.2011 | 5:33 pm

    How dare you? You unbelievable *******! I tell you something highly personal and in confidence via email, and you see fit to broadcast it all over the Interwebs? **** you, you sneaky rat-faced ****. You know, I used to think you were cool.

  41. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 02.7.2011 | 6:09 pm

    Profound, Fatty. You’ve changed my whole outlook on life.

    @Matt C., last year at STP I was sporting my Team Fatty gear and not too far off from the halfway stop I came upon another cyclist. The halfway point is known for handing out Creamsicles and as we approached the rest area, the other cyclist said to me “You’re not a fat cyclist.” “It’s more of a state of mind.” I replied. He said “Oh, like a P-H-A-T cyclist?” I laughed and said “Yeah, it’s like that, but also F-A-T, as in if I beat you to the rest stop, I’m going to eat my Creamsicle and yours.” We raced in and I managed to get there first. True to his word, he gave me his Creamsicle. Victory never tasted so sweet. Anyway, my point in all of this is to say that maybe you need a Phat Cyclist jersey. :)

  42. Comment by AngieG | 02.7.2011 | 6:15 pm

    Great post Fatty. Sorry the kids are sick though. Hope you all begin feeling better soon. On the positive I imagine the weather is crappy so no one is missing any good outside time.

    Changing the subject. I’m helping @MattC with Team Fatty Davis prep. I’ve been talking with the wonderful Executive Director Of the US Cycling Hall of Fame Joe Herget(also a big Fatty Fan) about scheduling a private Team Fatty Tour. Due to all the Livestrong events I’m targeting this for Friday evening 7/8 from say 6 – 10pm. We can accomodate 100 or so folks and if we include food cost would be about $15-$25 per person.
    So I’m looking for an interest check from those coming to Davis before I put down the deposit. What do you all think?

  43. Comment by CRSonic | 02.7.2011 | 6:42 pm

    I never thought about trying it that way! Inspiration!

  44. Comment by aussie kev | 02.7.2011 | 6:47 pm

    i have caught your kids illness – on my way to the doctors as we speak.
    my throat is so sore only Dr Pepper sooths it !!!
    (well thats what i tell my wife anyway!!)


  45. Comment by old guy | 02.7.2011 | 7:06 pm

    Angie & MattC, cool idea for the HoF. It might encourage Fatties to take Friday off and get to Davis sooner! And a tune-up spin on the American River Parkway Saturday..

  46. Comment by Jenni | 02.7.2011 | 7:09 pm

    I had a similar experience once, only my situation was a duck, a priest, and 1937 Elgin Robin bicycle.

    Great post!

  47. Comment by Squirrelhead | 02.7.2011 | 7:11 pm

    Excellent story today Fatty. It helped me to get through my day with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. I am surprised that you escaped the midget jello wrestling pit.

    Side note: What are people’s thoughts on shipping my bike from the east coast to Davis CA vs renting a bike over there? Any suggestions on places to rent?

  48. Comment by Chris | 02.7.2011 | 7:34 pm

    I still don’t understand where the aardvark came from and what happened to it. I also can’t imagine why Kenny would be carrying a complete spare bike on his back while riding down tight singletrack and it’s still unclear if he took the wheels off and stacked them to keep from getting entangled in close branches. Furthermore, I really don’t think it was appropriate to post a picture of him after the wreck with the 4 wheels laying around him (even though I laughed out loud when I saw it – you should enter it in a “photo caption” contest). Anyway, love the blog and sorry about the catastrophic stem failure during that last decent. I would have never thought about grabbing the head tube and riding it out in a wheelie.

  49. Comment by Mary from NC | 02.7.2011 | 7:36 pm

    sorry I can’t get into this….feeling melancholy today, I miss Susan and I never met her in person

  50. Comment by LoPhat | 02.7.2011 | 7:53 pm

    Nice post.

    I’m looking forward to that video you took of the off-road unicycle ride that you describe – that sounds like a impressive fall taht you tool.

    I don’t understand the part about the ferret. Sounds painful.

  51. Comment by Diane Formisano | 02.7.2011 | 8:20 pm

    Fatty, so glad you read “In a Sunburned Country” by
    Bill Bryson. I just finished it and I agree totally — you two have very similar senses of humor (as opposed to sense of humors)and would hit it off famously if you ever met. All through the book I kept saying to myself, “That’s something Fatty would say!” Anyway,love the new book club you’ve started!

  52. Comment by Lisa | 02.7.2011 | 8:20 pm

    Whoa! That loud voice that said, “Congratulations! You’re a winner! totally freaked me out. I’ve never heard sound from your site before. I thought it was from another page, but then I noticed the hot pink vertical banner ad that told me I was the 100,000th visitor and to click for my prize. (*details apply, it noted in fine, italics below so I dare not click it.)

    It did get my attention. So, in the future, when you need to give yourself a breather and want some shock appeal for good comments, I suggest a front and center disembodied voice, maybe along with a disembodied hand that you can borrow from BikeSnobNYC for a not-so-Stephen King “sick” effect.

    So, I’m not the funniest on the block, but I would love to know what my prize is, even if it is that you prevent that obnoxious ad from ever showing up on your site again. It’s not up to par with, let’s say DZNuts or TwinSix, or even the car insurance ads.

    Hope your kiddos feel better. Have been following Andreas Knickman’s progress and dropping notes once in a while to help cheer that family up. What a journey for them. I love that he goes flying. I think he needs a Team Fatty Flying Jacket. If that, or anything else is my prize, please send it to Andreas.

  53. Comment by katie | 02.7.2011 | 9:04 pm

    HA HA HA!

  54. Comment by roan | 02.7.2011 | 9:24 pm

    Dear Fatty, if I may…”…but the kind of sickness you get from being around other kids.”

    One word jumps out here that explains all we need to know about you…’other’. Somehow I knew it but now at my age I wish I was there with you.

    BTW next time the kids get sick give me a holler or alpine yodel & I be there in about 2 weeks.
    ps can I bring my dog ?

  55. Comment by Uni-Tom | 02.7.2011 | 9:33 pm

    Great job, Fatty. I’ve been holding my breath waiting for “The Unicycle Chronicles, Part 2″, and today you finally delivered it. It’s amazing how quickly you’ve mastered the riding, and I look forward to you keeping your promise today about including unicycling-related content “in one out of every two Fat Cyclist updated”. You are The Man.

  56. Comment by Scott in MN | 02.7.2011 | 9:48 pm

    Best. Post. EVER!!!!! My side hurts and the tears are streaming down my face. Thank you!

  57. Comment by New Guy | 02.7.2011 | 10:06 pm

    Ha! I can just here him now… “Siiiing-le-track?”

    Man, those New Yorkers.

  58. Comment by KanyonKris | 02.7.2011 | 10:20 pm

    I can’t believe Phil Ligit told you that!

  59. Comment by Kenny | 02.7.2011 | 10:24 pm

    It’s 11:21pm & your post has so inspired me, I will be on the trainer no later than 5am tomorrow! I have a whole new outlook on my cycling. Thank you!

  60. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 02.7.2011 | 10:41 pm


    Maybe next time we start a ‘post’ each commentator adding the next single sentence, that ‘one word at a time game’ you give us the first sentence and we go from there.

    -AngieG-I’m in for Davis HoF tour count us as (4) with the kids.

    -old guy- friday river tour sounds like a plan, I’m sure there’s a special brew stop in Folsom you can guide us to.

    -squirrelhead no shortage of bikerental options out here. I have spare 60cm Synapse Aluminum if you like. Many of us NoCals can probably help you out with our own LBS’s. Bring your own seat and pedals for best comfort. Let me know.
    Calistoga Cyclery rents Felt. Not too far away and the plus side it’s in the heart of the wine country:
    David H

  61. Comment by Nurse Betsy | 02.7.2011 | 11:01 pm

    You are an animal Fatty! Really raising the bar for the 100 Miles of Nowhere doing all those miles on your unicycle on the rollers! Wow, I’m super impressed.

  62. Comment by Sylvia | 02.7.2011 | 11:13 pm


  63. Comment by bubbaseadog | 02.7.2011 | 11:25 pm

    just take care of the kids

  64. Comment by B3 | 02.7.2011 | 11:58 pm

    Ha! Best post ever Fatty! You definitely hit the nail on the head. The misguided nerve of some folks. Unbelievable. But, then again, leave it to you to find the silver lining. So level headed. So calm in the face of not just confusion but real danger. I feel safe again.

    Thanks to you.

  65. Comment by Jenn | 02.8.2011 | 2:28 am

    Lance…and Dr. Lammler…I’m kinda blown away right now. Almost speechless. It’s all starting to make sense though….wow. Just, wow. The cross-dressing aspect has got me pretty freaked out. I sure hope you got your facts straight before publishing this, Fatty, or retained a good lawyer.

  66. Comment by Skippy | 02.8.2011 | 3:58 am

    THree times to the top of Mont Ventoux yesterday looking forward to Fatty’s blog , remembering P & P item but not going fast enough for their comments to kick in !

    Imagine January as minus degrees ,snowy and windy as hell but yesterday i started out at 16c and the only snow i found on the road was by the Tom Simpson Memorial 800m from the line.

    Race radios ban will be Fatty’s next play thing as there is a farce about to start, Sunday in Mallorca the racers vented their displeasure and the Mc Queasy gang collected their ball and went home !

    Coppi & Bartali were men that carried their own tools, but this generation needs empty pockets before they sprint over the line !

  67. Comment by Limey | 02.8.2011 | 5:42 am

    Got’ta say this Post is the “Dogs Bollox” Nuff said..

  68. Comment by Patrick | 02.8.2011 | 6:55 am

    I loved the bit where Fatty talked about going on a training ride with me and Fabian Cancellara.

  69. Comment by Cardiac Kid | 02.8.2011 | 7:00 am

    Fatty this without question is your best post ever. If only BikeSnob NYC used your blog as a guide for his own.

    You have managed to capture everything that is awesome about cycling and this post has completely made my day.

    Feel Better.

  70. Comment by Simply2fab | 02.8.2011 | 7:32 am

    Awesome post as usual. I completely agree that we should all boycott the UCI and everyone of us should use radios this week, even when not racing. Since Johan is free these days, how cool would it be to hear him yelling…..”Venga, Venga, Venga”….”you look fantastic!”.

  71. Comment by Anonymous | 02.8.2011 | 7:49 am

    Awesome post on the simplicity of life. Life changing! Have a great day today and have an even better week!

  72. Comment by Bridget in Minnesota | 02.8.2011 | 8:29 am

    Great post!

    I hope all the ills are sent packing…very soon. Meanwhile, I think you and the Runner are doing an incredible job with all the kids. Susan would be so pleased.


  73. Comment by Dr. Lammler | 02.8.2011 | 9:11 am

    I accept your apology.

  74. Comment by VeloPastor | 02.8.2011 | 9:19 am

    hahahahahaha. Witty and insightful article on Alberto Contador and his next career! Thanks Fatty!

  75. Comment by Dr. Lammler's Luxury Body | 02.8.2011 | 9:23 am

    But I don’t accept the apology. Never!

  76. Comment by Tim | 02.8.2011 | 9:44 am

    Fatty – I look foward to reading a combined post that incorporates Chris and Edie’s comments….

  77. Comment by Geo | 02.8.2011 | 10:06 am

    After years of laziness, lethargy and general couch-potatoeness, Fatty you have inspired me to get outside, get on a bike and just ride, ride, ride.

    That post with its deep insight into the human psyche and inspirational message for the love of the ride has touched me deep in my soul and stirred a burning fire to be a better me.

    I’m now off to get a UCI-approved bike frame.

    Thanks Fatty.

  78. Comment by Sansauto | 02.8.2011 | 11:03 am

    An article about who was the best racer at his prime, Merckx, Indurain or Armstrong. I think you are totally off on who would win in the tour that contained those 3, but you offered some really good evidence.

  79. Comment by Jack | 02.8.2011 | 11:08 am

    Wow Fatty. I can’t believe you chose me to receive your special SuperFly SS in Fat Cyclists colors. Contact me and I will send you the shipping address.

    I am not sure my asking for stuff super power is as strong as Fatty’s but it is worth a try.

  80. Comment by Lori Scheel | 02.8.2011 | 11:14 am

    I am so grateful that you are finally getting off of the bibs bandwagon and freeing your female FC kit wearers from our porta pottie nightmares that I am only going to say it once…I told you so! :)

  81. Comment by A nony mous | 02.8.2011 | 11:44 am


  82. Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 02.8.2011 | 12:37 pm

    It’s amazing posts like this that make it clear why you are in the running for the Bloggie Lifetime Achievement Award. Wow. Good stuff!

    Love you Fatty!

  83. Comment by Doug (Way upstate NY) | 02.8.2011 | 12:42 pm

    Can I send my sick one over to your house????

  84. Comment by Hunter | 02.8.2011 | 1:47 pm

    I’ve never left a comment before, but your thoughtful post compelled me to leave one today.

    Cyclists are some of the most intelligent, insightful people. My husband, the cyclist of our home, often tells me so.

    Sending get well wishes to your family. For goodness sake, dodge those germs.

    Aloha from Maui,

  85. Comment by Alex M Lewis | 02.8.2011 | 7:04 pm

    I can’t beleive it.
    I had too read the blog twice and now the universe and planets have all aligned, the light bulb has been turned on, the flood gates opened, mother nature is on our side and I can now enter the sleep of sleeps well rested knowing now what I never knew before.

    I’m not sure you can top this one Fatty.

    Hope all the Family is recovering and will be running around like spinning tops just to keep you on your toes.


  86. Comment by roan | 02.8.2011 | 7:28 pm

    Fatty, watch this with the Runner. I too work in a research lab but never with this much time on my hands.
    Go to ‘youtube’ search for Zheng lab-Bad Project (Lady GaGa parody)

    Ya know I think something like this is up your alley, only on unicycles.

  87. Comment by Red | 02.8.2011 | 10:39 pm

    My kids are sick too. You’ve become a seasoned parent when: 1) your kid pukes, and you try to catch it (hands wash easier than carpet); 2) someone else’s kid pukes at a party and you keep eating (that piece of cake was your only treat for the week on the spring cycling weight lose plan, no sense in wasting it). As far as your post goes, your teeth marks always look stellar on your riding partner’s body parts from crashes. Two thumbs and a tounge up! ;-)

  88. Comment by Kirk M | 02.8.2011 | 11:01 pm

    The image that you painted today is so graphic and fully realized that I can’t stop thinking about it. Maybe because I keep thinking about NOT thinking about it – and we all know where that leads…

  89. Comment by Nom | 02.9.2011 | 5:08 am

    You’re Quite right Fatty, hanging Ricco up with a meat hook through his scrotum in a public square would be hilarious!

  90. Comment by Mark B | 02.9.2011 | 10:20 am

    lol…a new phrase enters the cycling lexicon: “base miles of manliness”. And that mayonnaise joke in the third paragraph is a riot!

  91. Comment by MOCougFan | 02.9.2011 | 11:15 am

    Awesome. This is why I check in every day. Props FC!

  92. Comment by Diane | 02.9.2011 | 12:13 pm

    I wasn’t sure at first but you finally convinced me that you do indeed have the perfect system for beating the odds in Vegas! Congrats!
    BTW, I am unable to ship the jelly beans, rectal thermometer and bike chain until next week but the Ben Gay, Nair and super glue are in the mail.
    Regards, AG!

    PS – growing your hair out to donate for a wig is a stellar idea! Can’t wait to read the progress reports!

  93. Comment by James | 02.9.2011 | 12:41 pm

    Maybe you are thinking about how to use to create the best ever 100 miles to nowhere social event


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