Nice Try, MattC

05.27.2011 | 7:45 am

Everyone, meet MattC:


Matt is one of the Team Fatty Co-Captains, and of the very nicest people you could ever meet.

He’s also, secretly, totally evil.

A Gift in the Mail

Last Friday I got an unexpected box in the mail. Curious, I opened it up.

Inside was a dozen white-chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Which are, by the way, my favorite kind of cookie.

Along with those cookies was a card. Here’s the cover:


And here’s the inside:


I am not exactly proud to say that the dozen cookies did not last the hour, but I am grateful there is no photographic evidence of me eating said dozen cookies in one sitting.

Luckily, this was the day before the Ogden marathon, and I was eating nonstop in preparation for it anyway.

So I credit Matt (partially) with my surprisingly good result in Ogden, but — as of this morning, anyway — it’s not looking like his little trick is gonna win him my Superfly 100.


Because with one week before the final weigh in, I’m sub-160 today. 159.6, to be exact (my daily weight on the sidebar of my blog will show 160 because by the rules I have set for myself I must round up to the next pound).

Which means I’ve got 1.6 pounds to lose over the next week. Which I’m pretty sure I can do.

But please, Matt, feel free to send more cookies.

And this time I’ll try to share with the family.


  1. Comment by Jenny @ Fondant is Gross | 05.27.2011 | 7:53 am

    oooohhhh….. white chocolate macademia nut cookies are the best EVER!

    And 1.6 pounds in one week is totally doable. I lost 1.4 this past week myself!

    Good luck!

  2. Comment by jodie_a | 05.27.2011 | 7:56 am

    Mmm cookies. Couldn’t take a picture of them before scarfing them down? I don’t blame you. They sound like they were tasty. Matt–how about a recipe? Fatty, I’m glad you are getting close to your goal. Do we have to start calling you Skinny after you get to 158? Enjoy your Superfly 100–you deserve it.

  3. Comment by Dean | 05.27.2011 | 7:56 am

    Resistance is futile. You will gain weight from cookies.

  4. Comment by Franky | 05.27.2011 | 8:02 am

    If there wouldn’t be Memorial Day weekend I would say you made it…burgers, brats, beer and ice cream. How can you possibly resist all weekend long?

  5. Comment by Jacob | 05.27.2011 | 8:04 am

    You should have wrapped them in egg whites. Much more weight-loss friendly that way.

  6. Comment by egonlou | 05.27.2011 | 8:12 am

    We were on the way to a wrestling match in high school and one of the freshman is downing a 2 liter bottle of Diet coke. The coach sees him and says “what are you doing? you have to weigh in.”

    The kids looks a the coach and says, “but coach its only 1 calorie.”

  7. Comment by andy | 05.27.2011 | 9:43 am

    Never doubted the loss would come but an evil ploy whichi would have also fell for! But don’t tell my wife that if I knew I would lose my Superfly Elite if I didn’t lose some lbs the weight would fly off! Luckily riding has a similar effect.

  8. Comment by Linda | 05.27.2011 | 10:06 am

    Funny post. I’m also commenting so you will know that more than 7 people have read this post on a Friday, I know how much that means to you.

  9. Comment by Susan's Sister Christine | 05.27.2011 | 10:15 am

    Congrats on being so close to your goal.

  10. Comment by GTJules99 | 05.27.2011 | 10:17 am

    I 2nd Linda’s response. It’s Friday and I read the blog.

    Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all of team Fatty!

  11. Comment by Geo | 05.27.2011 | 10:29 am

    I really like the way Matt thinks.

    If I send you an entire Texas barbecue brisket do you think you would eat that yourself and still maintain weight?

  12. Comment by MattC | 05.27.2011 | 10:46 am

    Curses…foiled by an unknown marathon! What kind of celebrity do you think you are, keeping secrets from us??

    And SO….you just THINK you will lose that final tidbit of weight by the 3rd! It is ON Mr!

    We’ll just SEE what kind of willpower you have…I’ll get Jeannie right on this…we might have to overnight a pallet of cookies so that you have plenty of time to NOT eat them…(you do you accept freight shipments at your house I hope?)

    But on the flipside, as a humble, loyal (and totally EVIL) teammate, I’m glad that I could contribute to your excellent marathon pace.

    Dang it…at this rate, I’ll NEVER have a FS niner…(this was my best shot).

    As to those asking about the recipie, I will have to ask…(I’m an eater, not a cooker). But I know she claims it has something with the butter…(must be totally room temp, and mixed THOROUGHLY into the dough…I have assisted with this part before…seems like I stirred the dough for days).

    I CAN tell you these are the very best cookies on the planet (IMO)…when I bring them in to work they are destryoed in fairly short order.

    Maybe Fatty will make a recipie book (among his other projects) and it will include his recipes (brats n such) along with submissions from us. Any title for a food book with “Fatty” in it would be a winner I’m thinking. Just a thought.

    OK…it’s GAME ON Fatty! I (we) still have time!

  13. Comment by Dan in Sac | 05.27.2011 | 11:01 am

    Well done good sir MattC! Now quick, whip up another two dozen and FedEx them to Fatty overnight.

  14. Comment by Obstinate Roadie | 05.27.2011 | 11:05 am

    The situation is grim. Time to pile on the pressure.






  15. Comment by Angie | 05.27.2011 | 11:06 am

    Fatty, I knew you could do it! I know you’ll keep that bike! Awesome, I’m proud of you! I shouldn’t speak to soon, but I know you’ll win the bet!

  16. Comment by Eric L | 05.27.2011 | 11:41 am

    You gotta know, when someone wishes you Good Luck using the “Black Adder” font, you’re in deep trouble.

  17. Comment by rmullen | 05.27.2011 | 11:52 am

    Be strong! That bike belongs to you!

  18. Comment by Jesse | 05.27.2011 | 11:54 am

    That was fantastic, Matt. And Fatty…I’m so glad you ate them. Not because I’m itching for a new bike, but because it is considered a crime in the state of Utah to allow whie chocolate macadamia nut cookies to be eaten than any other than the intended recipient. Or so we’d all like to think.

    And yes, tuning in on a Friday. Frankly, I’d forgotten what day of the week it was (though now that I’ve remembered, I’m pretty much ecstatic. 5 hours left til a 3 day weekend!!) Hope you have a good holiday. Don’t eat too much :)

  19. Comment by Scott R | 05.27.2011 | 11:57 am

    MattC – well played. Always hate to see a great evil plan foiled.

    And it would have worked, too, if it weren’t for that meddling marathon!

  20. Comment by Pride go-eth | 05.27.2011 | 12:00 pm

    So, Fatty, mon petit. You sound awfully confident. Memorial day. BBQ. Corn on the cob. Ice cream. Banana pudding. The Best Cake in the World. And there you’ll be, pathetically off in the corner, virtuously dining on egg whites and lettuce, trying to pretend you wouldn’t rather have a beer and some Brats.

    No worries. All the delights of Memorial Day can be yours and you’ll still lose that *mere* 1.6 lb without dehydration.

    The bike is mine. MINE! Or at least ours. One of OURS!

    Go ahead and send the cookies, Matt – but I think they’re superfluous. He sounds too confident. Pride goeth before a fall!


  21. Comment by Ben | 05.27.2011 | 12:07 pm

    Scott R – Love the comment.

  22. Comment by Mark J. | 05.27.2011 | 12:15 pm

    Made me laugh out loud MattC. Nicely done. Good thing for Fatty not more people have his address.

  23. Comment by gregc | 05.27.2011 | 12:20 pm

    Hey Fatty,
    Matt is evil all right. He bet me $20 (donated to my LiveStrong of course) against my having to wear purple tights and a pink tu-tu during the LiveStrong Davis ride that I would not beat my predicted time on my last bike race. Needless to say his lack of confidence in me cost him $20. He was too cowardly to bet on tomorrow race.
    Good luck with the weight loss quest- I know how hard the food demon is to defeat.

  24. Comment by MattC | 05.27.2011 | 12:40 pm

    Food demon? Are you kidding Greg? More like Food ANGELS! mmmm…speaking of Angels, how about some nice Angel Food Cake Fatty (with Strawberries)? MMMMMM? And this weekend, maybe a nice T-BONE STEAK, bbq’d of course, w/ corn on the cobb, sweet potatoes (w/ butter n brown sugar), tater-salad, tapioca pudding, and TOO MUCH of whatever your preferred beverage.

    Oh yes…that niner will be OURS! Come on people…keep chipping away at his defenses. We are many, he is one!

  25. Comment by Jenni | 05.27.2011 | 12:43 pm

    Man, I love BRATS. Love those brats. I’m a vegetarian and I make an exception for brats because they’re just that good.

    I think I’m going to eat some brats right now. With bacon.

  26. Comment by MattC | 05.27.2011 | 12:46 pm

    Oh, and Greg…I didn’t bet against u on this weekends ride cuz I’m broke, not cuz I’m afraid (I’d LOVE to see u wear those purple tights w/ a pink tu-tu sewed to them up in Davis). I think if I dig around in my seatcushions n such I can scrounge up just enough cash to send a box of cookies to some random address in Utah. How did I get this addx you ask? Well, I was flipping thru the Utah white-pages w/ my eyes closed (ala “The Jerk” movie w/ Steve Martin) and when I put my finger down and opened my eyes, it was one ‘Elden Nelson’…what are the odds?

  27. Comment by Kari Albano | 05.27.2011 | 1:35 pm

    Today is the 15 year anniversary of my last day of chemo, and therefor being officially cancer free too, and my birthday is in another 3 days. I am intent on leaving my non-bike-riding spouse behind between now and my b-day and celebrating by riding the trails by the beach here in Kauai where we are vacationing.

  28. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 05.27.2011 | 1:36 pm

    Well done MattC. I guess the new printing of the white pages will be an entry short next year. Though I’m convinced that a package sent only to “The Awesome Fat Cyclist, Alpine, Utah, would be delivered with equal dispatch.(who doesn’t know Fatty?)
    For Davis it was my intent to bring LOTS of Nation’s Pies, assorted types. Now after the Great Cookie Caper, maybe we should all bring a dozen of our favorite cookies to Davis. Fatty would blind judge the cookies, and award a bike to the winner.
    Works for me.

  29. Comment by 3d brian | 05.27.2011 | 2:33 pm

    Here’s what you need to do. On June 1 you need to do something epic – an all day ride or run or maybe a marathon. That will burn lots and lots of calories (never mind that your body swells and you temporarily gain 4 pounds for a couple of days.)

  30. Comment by skippy | 05.27.2011 | 3:12 pm

    Always the Giro d’Italia provides me with a wonderful array of “home cooking” at the side of the route !
    The Italian ladies compete with each other to see who can provide the most scrumptious food ! Usually their menfolk are “roly poly ” as a result .
    Finished eating i jump on the bike and burn it off on the way to the “Arrivo” !

    Knew you would win the contest but it has been entertaining reading nevertheless !

    Next eating fest is the Dauphinee .

  31. Comment by Allen | 05.27.2011 | 3:27 pm

    I’m a new reader tomyour site and I love itl I’m an overweight mid 40s cyclist who is also a type 2 diabetic. Can you give me some tips on what you did ton drop the weight? I have to eat a certain number of carbs every 4 hours for my disease. I ride 15 miles a day 5 days a week but haven’t lost anything in this past month. If you have a link to your diet I would like to read it and see if it can be modified for my disease.
    Thanks. And how can get a sweet fat cyclist jersey? I can’t find one n team 6’s site.
    Good luck this week!

  32. Comment by MattC | 05.27.2011 | 3:46 pm

    Hey Fatty…was just over at Jills (Up in Alaska, the new name is ‘Jill Outside’) and she is talking about Carmel Bites/Honey Stinger waffles (both are basicly just waffle cone cookies)…you should get a few bags n review them for us. I’m SURE they would make the list of “Things Fatty Likes”! But be quick about it please…sometime by next Weds would be fine.

  33. Comment by ecco | 05.27.2011 | 4:50 pm

    Brilliant, MattC!

  34. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 05.27.2011 | 5:38 pm

    MattC, well played, sir, well played indeed.

  35. Comment by RJ | 05.27.2011 | 5:50 pm

    MattC, can you post the recipe? They look divine!

  36. Comment by AngieG | 05.27.2011 | 7:59 pm

    @MattC- I am very proud of your evil sneakiness, brother. I have learned well grasshopper.

    @GreggC- as for the bet, I’ll cover @MattC. If you don’t beat your time tomorrow, it’s the purple tights and tu tu for you at Livestrong Davis!

    I shouldn’t do that to you, since you weren’t the one who dropped me in Austin. Yeah Matt, that was you!! But for I’d really like to see in those purple tights.

    FC- No matter what the scale says, you need to keep that bike. You’ve earned it!

  37. Comment by gregc | 05.27.2011 | 10:03 pm

    Hey AgnieG (little sis)- bring it on. You better hope that I ride like the wind tomorrow- cause if I have to wear the purple tights and tu-tu in Davis, I will make it a priority to make sure you and Matt will be very embarrassed to be seen with me!

  38. Comment by Sylvia | 05.27.2011 | 10:56 pm

    That’s my captain! And he is one the the best peeps. I didn’t realize he had such an evil side. Go Matt!

  39. Comment by Niall | 05.28.2011 | 7:43 am

    ALL cookies (or biscuits as Aussies call them) are, mostly calorie free. In fact any packaged fattening foods are. Immediately the packet or container is opened the calories start to leak into the atmosphere. Break the “cookie” in half and the leak becomes a flood. As long as you don’t breathe in when you open the packet or initially break a “cookie” in your mouth then there is absolutely NO DANGER in consuming any leaked calories. Just make sure you wait a few seconds before you pop that delicious morsel of goodness into the food chute to ensure most of the calories are gone. Simple really!

  40. Comment by cece | 05.28.2011 | 11:05 am

    Cookies are my complete down fall. I tried to hire a Navy Seal to stop me from eating the cookies I baked for Christmas a few years back…..but alas, I could not locate that type of body guard!

  41. Comment by where's the weight? | 05.30.2011 | 6:24 am

    like the name sez….accountability please!

  42. Comment by NYCCarlos | 05.31.2011 | 7:54 am

    MattC – you are my hero.

  43. Comment by Doug (Way upstate NY) | 05.31.2011 | 9:06 am

    Matt are you bringing cookies to Davis? :D


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