100MoN Race Report #8: Multiple Categories in Ipswich, Australia Category

06.8.2011 | 7:17 am

This is my metaphorical finish-line visit to the commissaire to claim first place in the “Multiple-Category Category”. The categories : mountain bike, road bike, fixie, BMX, cyclocross and cargo-bike. WITH costume changes for each category, no less.

My 160.934 Kilometres (100 miles for you metric hold-outs in the USA) of Nowhere began at dawn on a chilly winter’s day in Ipswich – 4 degrees Celcius (again for the Americans: 39 degrees Fahrenheit). First up – mountain biking. Technically the first leg of my ride was Somewhere, not Nowhere. This was forgivable because my mates were expecting me and I couldn’t let them down, and it was only 20km (12.4 miles).


Being fairly new to mountain biking I may have fallen off more than once, but being well-practised at falling off I sustained no life-threatening injuries.

After that, the bulk of my miles were achieved upon my trusty road bike, upon my hated rollers. Why, you might ask, do I hate my rollers so?

Because every so often they make me go from this position :


to this position :


Thankfully my wife and children were close by, and whenever I ended up helpless on the floor like an upside-down turtle they were quickly on the scene to laugh and take photos.

As the day wore on and there were brief spells on the fixie (with hipster jeans – very difficult to get on the bike in tight jeans incidentally) :


Followed by the cargo bike (with sensible I’m-just-going-to-the-shops attire) :


Followed by the daughter’s BMX bike :


Followed by the CX bike (very noisy tyre tread on the rollers) :

201106061618.jpg .

And finally back on the road bike again in the beloved Ipswich Cycling Club colours :


At this point I had a serious craving for some beef jerky. But I couldn’t have any beef jerky. Because the Australian Customs Service confiscated my jerky ! Darn Australian Customs….

In conclusion, some might say that this endeavour was just an excuse to parade myself on my collection of bicycles on the interweb, and they would be correct. But it was also a chance to do something silly, yet difficult, for a good cause.

– Scott K


  1. Comment by chad | 06.8.2011 | 7:37 am

    Love the costume changes, especially the hipster. I saw a hipster finish a 60 mile mountain bike race in his hipster costume this year. I was impressed.

  2. Comment by Santi | 06.8.2011 | 7:42 am

    I LOL’d. Good read Scott :)

  3. Comment by Angie | 06.8.2011 | 7:48 am

    A very entertaining post. I’m sorry they took your beef jerky.

  4. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 06.8.2011 | 7:49 am

    Love the pic of you getting turtled by your rollers! Great job, Scott!

  5. Comment by Dan | 06.8.2011 | 8:01 am

    Awesome job and an awesome report!

  6. Comment by GenghisKhan | 06.8.2011 | 8:04 am

    Not bad, not bad–next year, though, please consider adding a penny farthing and unicycle, with appropriate costume changes, to your repertoire. ;o)

  7. Comment by Christina | 06.8.2011 | 8:09 am

    HA HA HA! I looked at the pictures first and I thought, “Wow! His 100MoN included going actually nowhere…he’s laying on his back!” Awesome report and I loved the costume changes.

  8. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.8.2011 | 8:33 am

    @Comment by GenghisKhan | 06.8.2011 | 8:04 am

    Love the idea of the penny farthing on rollers! Would also love to see Fatty on one as well, with helmet cam.

    Picture number three should remind Scott to always wear is helmet, and as for the jerky. Well, we’ll all eat some in his honor today in the States.

    Good job Scott.

  9. Comment by Maggi | 06.8.2011 | 8:44 am

    Good job, Scott, and awesome recap! I think you get added bonus points (extra miles?) for silliness.

  10. Comment by Rob M | 06.8.2011 | 8:56 am

    I am continuously amazed at the creativity of the Fatty fans to have a unique ride. This is very clever.

    All the rides and guest posts are clever and special credit to the very touching account of the World Record Holder of the 100MoN Triathlon. All the best to you and your Mom.

    Also, if I may brag, I won my division of the “OnandabouttheHoltsvilleEcologyCenterandtheKissenaVelodromeroundeduptothenearest100miles Division”

  11. Comment by lynn e | 06.8.2011 | 9:18 am

    ********confetti******** for your parade ***********

  12. Comment by Dan in Sac | 06.8.2011 | 9:23 am

    What is this foreign language he speaks? Mates? Kilometers?

    Great report and very funn! I think you have theatrics in your blood.

  13. Comment by Mark J. | 06.8.2011 | 9:38 am

    Nicely done. Impressive stable. I submitted my own 100MON report but in case it doesn’t get published let me say that I am completely impressed by anyone that can last that long on rollers or an indoor trainer. I really struggle (mentally, not quite as much physically) to hit an hour at a time. I made it over 5 hours on a real bike and fell short of the full 100. No way could I do it inside. I wouldn’t have made 50. So kudos to all who did.

  14. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.8.2011 | 9:40 am

    from or Mountain States correspondent:
    Comment by Dan | 06.7.2011 | 10:30 pm

    100 miles of no where just made Channel 9 news (Denver NBC station). Two local riders doing laps around Washington Park – nice work you two!!!


    FIN news service (Fatty Interesting News) awkward but I needed “FIN” for the International audience.

  15. Comment by megan | 06.8.2011 | 9:58 am

    Woo, I vote for Scott to win the costume award – great report :)

  16. Comment by Charlie | 06.8.2011 | 10:04 am

    Was that wedding photo on the sideboard there as a fixture or a reminder while you ride the rollers?

  17. Comment by Liz | 06.8.2011 | 10:16 am

    Well done, Scott! What a great idea. You have some very nice bicycles. Sorry about the jerky. At least you got the t-shirt.

  18. Comment by Clydesteve | 06.8.2011 | 10:34 am

    Nicely done, Scott! I am particularly impressed with riding the BMX and the CX on the rollers. Excellent dedication and ignoring of painful circumstances.

  19. Comment by MattC | 06.8.2011 | 11:01 am

    Excellent report Scott! Love the originality! And am I the only one here who for some reason thinks of Austin Powers when I see your pics??

    Good on ya’, Mate!

  20. Comment by Scott R | 06.8.2011 | 11:23 am

    Awesome post/pics/idea.

    Can’t believe they stole your jerky :-)

  21. Comment by Jesse | 06.8.2011 | 11:52 am

    I’m cracking up! And thanks for the link to the local news…pretty cool!

  22. Comment by Donna | 06.8.2011 | 12:29 pm

    Great account.

    Turtle power! :)

  23. Comment by Adventure Nell | 06.8.2011 | 1:37 pm

    Wonderful race report! the hipster pic made me laugh hugely, much to co-workers amusement. We had an event here in Victoria, BC, Canada that had lycra vs. denim and there were many a hipster there racing on fixies in full hipster gear…SCARY ;-)

  24. Comment by Bisso | 06.8.2011 | 4:36 pm

    Nice one Scott. Glad someone flying the flag so well on behalf of Aussie members of Team Fatty.

    And to commenter Davidh …i reckon a P Far ride for 100 miles would be about as crazy as you could get. gotta get that organised for next year

  25. Comment by Kevin | 06.8.2011 | 5:55 pm

    HAHAHA!! This definitely wins the Oscar for best costume design. Great work!

  26. Comment by Roses | 06.9.2011 | 7:50 am

    And the winner for best costume design… Oh, I see my comment has already been posted several times. Either way, I vote for Scott. Good job, mate.

  27. Comment by Mum | 06.13.2011 | 12:08 am

    Oh! What a silly boy, but you are sooo cute and soooo clever. (I’m a bit mad you didn’t wear your helmet all the way.You might have fractured your skull.) Love and kisses Mummy

  28. Comment by shayne johns | 08.5.2011 | 7:51 pm

    cool site love the pic


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.