Come Do A Big Ol’ Ride With Me

02.4.2013 | 12:55 pm

NewImageI want to make a couple of things perfectly clear before getting into this post. Full disclosure kinds of things. 

  1. Rockwell Relay isn’t paying me anything to promote their Moab to Saint George race.
  2. They are, however, giving my team free entry into their race, as well as FatCyclist / Rockwell limited-edition jerseys for every member in my team.

(There, I think we all feel better now, what with the total transparency and everything.)

As far as bribery and the selling of one’s blogging soul goes, that’s not much. Indeed, it’s not enough for me to go on and spend a whole blog post trying to sell you on coming out to Utah and doing the Rockwell Relay: Moab to Saint George.

So the question is, why am I doing this?

Well, I’ve got a few reasons. Partially because I admire what local promoters do. Putting on a race of this enormous scope is an even more enormous task; these guys deserve our support.

Partially it’s because I like the design of the free jersey they’re giving to team captains who sign up for the relay via this site (and other members of the team can get it too for $50, which is the cost of the jersey for the Rockwell guys). It’s got a cool split-personality thing I personally identify with quite nicely.

Check it out:


But the real reason — the really-for-real real reason I’m going to try to sell you on getting a group of friends together and doing this race is a lot more simple:

I just really like it.

And I think you would too.

So here’s my pitch.

Reason 1: I’ll Grill Brats For You The Night Before

Last year, just for fun, I proposed to the Rockwell guys that I should grill bratwurst for everyone at a night-before-the-race picnic. Here I am, cooking and eating at the same time, which is probably a violation of some FDA code or another:


And here’s my work, which I frankly (ha!) think is too beautiful for words:

IMG 5185

I loved doing this, because it gave me an opportunity to hang out and talk with pretty much every racer doing the event, and also because it gave me an opportunity to show off my bratwurst superpower.

The fact is, if you read this blog and are not a vegetarian (or vegan or whatever), you know that you would like to find out whether my brats are all they’re cooked (ha!) up to be (they are). 

This is a perfect opportunity.

Reason 2: The Race Course Is Beautiful

The real star of the Rockwell Relay: Moab to St. George is the route. It’s awe-inspiringly beautiful. You will see gorgeous desert, red rock vistas, and alpine mountains.


And since you’re only riding 1/4 of the course, you’ll have plenty of time to take in that beauty. 

Bring a camera. You’re going to take a lot of pictures.

Reason 3: The Format Is Fantastic

Anytime I’ve ever raced, I’ve wondered what it’s like to be a spectator in that race, and whether they’re having more fun than the racers.

Likewise, anytime I’ve watched a race, I’ve wondered what it’s like to be a racer on the course.

With the Rockwell Relay, you get to do both. Plus you get to be a crew chief. And once in a while, you get to just sit back and be a passenger. 

You will never feel as much a part of a race — getting to experience it from every point of view — as doing a relay like this.

Reason 4: You’ll Make Friends (And Maybe More?)

When you start this race, you’ll be all bunched up with the other teams. That doesn’t last long. Within a few legs of the race, your team will have settled into a groove close to a few other teams, and you’ll start to get to know each other as your support vehicles leapfrog each other and support each other’s racers.

After working together over a hard, hot, windy stage, The Hammer had gone from stranger to best friends forever with Ryan, a racer on another team:


Oh, here’s another example. Here’s my nice and me, right before the race last year:

IMG 5186

She met a nice guy during this race last year.

Now they’re engaged.

Reason 5: It Just Feels Epic

Go back and read my 2011 and 2012 race reports for the Rockwell Relay. Note that they’re big ol’ long multi-parters. You know why?

Because there’s a lot of story to tell. 

And it’s not like my team’s experience was any more dramatic or special than any other teams’. Every team comes away from a big event like this with incredible stories and amazing memories. It’s a race and a road trip, rolled up together. 

Reason 6: It’s Only As Competitive As You Want It To Be

I’ve mentioned before that when I’m not racing, I’m a pretty easy-going guy. When I am racing, however, I am not your friend. At all. I become this weirdly angry, focused, hyper-competitive animal who would like nothing so much as to tear your legs off.

Thankfully, not everyone is like me.

So — new for this year — The Rockwell Relay: Moab to St. George has a “non-competitive” division, where, if you like — your team can skip a leg or switch riders in the middle of a leg or otherwise do whatever you need to do in order to get a lot of riding in without hating what you’re doing.

Which means that folks who just want to cruise it can just cruise it and make game-time adjustments to race order and so forth, without worrying about people like me flipping out over what they’re doing is fair.

How’d I Do?

Okay, that’s my pitch. Let me know if you’re going to sign up. And if you do, be sure to sign up at the special Friends of Fatty sign up page, by clicking here. And make sure you do it by the end of February, cuz that’s when the special free FatCyclist / Rockwell jersey promotion ends.

See you there. I hope.


  1. Comment by James | 02.4.2013 | 1:09 pm

    free jersey, bratwurst, love in the air. I’m in for sure.

  2. Pingback by Come Do A Big Ol’ Ride With Me | Bici a Milano | 02.4.2013 | 1:25 pm

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  3. Comment by ClydesDave | 02.4.2013 | 1:30 pm

    we’re coming down again for our third year…and this year we’re bringing a second team with us. I LOVE THIS RACE! totally looking forward to the Brats again – yummy…

  4. Comment by Libby | 02.4.2013 | 1:55 pm

    I’m hungry now…for brats. I’d love to do it one year soon. Knee is still in rehab…have to strengthen it good for Niagara Falls Gran Fondo in September. Still…those brats ARE tempting. As is taunting you as you compete :o)

  5. Comment by Jacob | 02.4.2013 | 2:19 pm

    Wait. So if we sign up for your team, we get in free. All we have to pay for is travel to get there and lodging/food type of stuff?

    Man. I wasn’t planning on doing a big road trip until next year. This is tempting.

    No, you just get a free jersey. You still have to pay for the race. – FC

  6. Comment by Melman | 02.4.2013 | 4:25 pm

    Wish I could come. I have seen some of the desert beauty, but that would be a long trip from Texas. By the way, your going to need a bigger grill. I like the jersey.

    I actually had two grills going at the same time most of the evening. This picture is early in the evening, when people were just starting to trickle in, at which time one small grill was enough. – FC

  7. Comment by Geoff | 02.4.2013 | 4:33 pm

    So, your nice is your neice?

    Must be a nice neice. ;)

  8. Comment by Gabi | 02.4.2013 | 6:43 pm

    Wish I could do this. It looks awesome but I don’t think I’d survive.

  9. Comment by Lindseydonn | 02.4.2013 | 8:07 pm

    I feel so honored to be mentioned in your blog Eld. This race is epic…and also brutal. The fiancé who will then be my husband and I (and 2 other people who are unknown as of now…maybe Rocky…maybe Kellene?) are in for sure. The dual personality kit turned out beautifully.

  10. Comment by EdwinH | 02.4.2013 | 8:24 pm

    And great to see you’re back on a roll FC: your 5th post in 8 days. Enjoying them all!

  11. Comment by Wife#1 | 02.4.2013 | 10:11 pm

    Dear DavidinMarin,

    I know that you must have read this post earlier today from work, and I have no doubt whatsoever that all you have been thinking about since then is how to pull it off and join all the other Fatties for this amazing sounding ride.

    Two things dear husband, since this is one of those days we barely see each other in person….

    1. If you go, you will miss your 12 year old daughter’s first (and quite possibly last) ballet recital, which is on June 9th. In the event you do the ride anyway, be prepared to do some MAJOR sucking up to her in advance. In all likelihood the only thing that will appease her wrath (and your guilt) is a major clothes shopping spree.

    2. If you leave me alone with the kids, especially their last week of school, for another bike event, I expect repayment in kind at the rate of two days for every one you are gone. You can either take the kids away for a week and leave me at home, or I’ll head off for a week of blissful “me time” at the timeshare in Palm Springs. Either one is good for me. :-) Oh and I expect that to be fulfilled this calendar year.

    Look, I get it. Brats! Grilled by the bratmeister himself! Biking in Utah! No doubt there would be pie! It’s like what your life would be like all the time had you not married with children. :-) I’m definitely not saying you should not to do it, and of course I would never tell you that you cannot do something. I’m just saying there would be consequences.

    Love ya hon!


  12. Comment by Bicycle Bill | 02.5.2013 | 1:50 am

    I can see now that as a native-born Wisconsinite of German descent I am going to have to come out there to show you the proper way to serve bratwurst.



    The spicy brown mustard is right there on the brat, but I’ve got to admit I don’t like sauerkraut. I’m so ashamed. – FC

  13. Comment by T.J. Olaussen | 02.5.2013 | 5:20 am

    Would love to come over and do a race with you one day. Won’t be able to to it this year though. Already have plans for the summer. But a US holiday is always welcomed by my significant other, so there will be chances down the road. If I were to do a transatlantic flight to do a race, which one should I do? (mostly a road man)

  14. Comment by Larry | 02.5.2013 | 8:24 am

    Hi Fatty, Amazing job with your weight loss thus far. Can you update us on how you are going about it? Food intake, exercise regime, etc.? Thanks

  15. Comment by Todd | 02.5.2013 | 11:12 am

    “Now they’re engaged.”?!?! We need to hear this story. Guest post! Guest post! Guest post!

  16. Comment by Susie H | 02.5.2013 | 4:10 pm

    so, what if someone wanted to come and do this (say from California), but they were only one person? how would they go about compiling a team? (i only ask because my husband will be on a grand ‘walkabout’, with bikes in tow, at that time, and Utah is on his list of places to stop. i, myself, would never presume to try this) :-)

    Go here. – FC

  17. Comment by Travis | 02.7.2013 | 6:11 am

    I have heard lots of great things about the race. I can’t wait to participate this year.

    If I already registered my team last week is there still a way to be eligible for the free jersey promotion?

    Try contacting the promoters, maybe they’ll hook you up? – FC

  18. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 02.7.2013 | 1:53 pm

    Conflicted, conflicted, conflicted. That about sums it up.

    I’ve researched the driving time from St George to San Francisco 624mi 10h8m according to google. With the ballet recital at noon on the 9th(see Wife#1 above) I would need to leave by midnight to play it safe. Now to figure out the “take the kids” “let her go” requirement. Oh! and to find a team.

    Maybe Salt to St. instead. Anyone interested in STSt tandem division?

  19. Comment by LiveSTRONG4Life | 02.11.2013 | 11:19 am

    Aah!! I SO WANT TO DO THIS!!
    My son is getting married, here in SoCal, on June 8. Cannot miss that!
    It’s killing me, because I REALLY want to ride that route, and end up at my home in SG. I promise to force all life events away from that weekend, next year.
    Thank you for adding another item to my Bucket List!
    I need a bigger bucket…

  20. Comment by kirkeman | 02.22.2013 | 3:26 am

    We are already signed in. This is the year of redemption for our team. We managed 4 1/2 legs last year and pulled out because of health issues with 3 of the 4 of us. We enjoyed some of your brats last year. To all of those out there thinking about doing this ride, I have only one thing to say. COME and RIDE. Despite our hardship and heartache at what happened it was worth every mile of training and every penny spent.
    This year we are bring 8 people, 2 teams that will help one another get thru the wind. (Team Names: Windbreakers 1 and 2) Might as well expect the wind this year, that way no way of disappointment when it is there to confront once again! Thanks for your enthusiasm and your blog. See you there!

  21. Comment by steve | 02.22.2013 | 12:46 pm

    So much to comment on, agree with, support etc. Love, love, love this event. We’re signing up for our third round and I keep talking it up to anybody on a bike who will listen to me. One thing I don’t think was mentioned is this: Second stage of the Tour of Utah this year goes from Panguitch to Torrey, essentially the second legs of Rockwell for cyclists 2-4, only in reverse. Incidentally, I have never once seen this terrain in the light of day (I hear it’s unbelievably beautiful) because by the time I pedal into Torrey it’s always dark (always). Looking forward to seeing this stretch of rode as it’s ridden in the mid August heat by the pros and to supporting my team as they pedal it (in the other direction) in the dark.

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