I Need Your Help: Please Take the FatCyclist.Com Reader Demographics Survey

04.1.2013 | 8:08 am

FreeadIt’s no secret that I’ve been having financial difficulties as of late. And while I’ve had varying levels of success with different projects, none of them have come close to getting me back on solid ground, budget-wise.

I therefore feel it’s time I do something I probably should have done some time ago: monetize this blog. 

No, don’t worry, I’m not asking you to pay money to read it, although if you’d like to make a donation, you’ll notice the new “PayPal Donate” here. Whatever you can give will be appreciated. 

But that’s not what I really wanted to ask you to do today. What I need you to do is take a few minutes and complete this survey. [UPDATE: The surgery is now full and no longer taking entries. So there.] It’ll be easy, private, and it will help me to have a better understanding of who reads this blog, why, and what your interests are.

So please, take a couple of minutes and click here to take the survey now. [UPDATE: Like I said, never mind about doing the survey. It's all full now. Thanks and stuff.]

Thank you,



  1. Comment by Dave | 04.1.2013 | 8:33 am


    Went to take the survey and I think there is a typo in the annual income question. The options are 10,000 or less and 100,000 or more. I chose the first option assuming it should be 100,000 or less.

  2. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 04.1.2013 | 8:45 am

    My first laugh of April! Thank You Fatty!

  3. Comment by BrewCityChris | 04.1.2013 | 8:50 am

    That was awesome! I have to admit you had me going for a little while.

  4. Comment by Barefoot Rose | 04.1.2013 | 8:51 am

    I didn’t fall for it only because I can here specifically to see what your April Fool’s joke would be. Always good for a laugh.

  5. Comment by GenghisKhan | 04.1.2013 | 8:52 am

    Hey, open up the “Other” fields as options!

  6. Comment by Trout boy | 04.1.2013 | 8:57 am

    I respectfully submit that your survey is flawed, Sir Fatty. I was not able to input my correct annual salary (a googleplex) nor was I able to input the monetary symbol for petucas in question 19. Please revise.

  7. Comment by Clancy | 04.1.2013 | 9:10 am

    Pastries. Or Pasties. Hmmmmm….

  8. Comment by UpTheGrade SR,CA | 04.1.2013 | 9:29 am

    I was one the phone to Specialized to set up an unlimited credit so you could order any-spec bike you wanted when I realized this was an April Fool joke – I’ll just cancel it. I feel like such a fool ;-)

  9. Comment by zeeeter | 04.1.2013 | 9:44 am

    I’m Loof Lirpa and I endorse this message.

  10. Comment by Tes | 04.1.2013 | 9:58 am

    Nicely done.

  11. Comment by pgreen | 04.1.2013 | 10:01 am

    Best survey EVAR!!!

    You misspelled “EVOR.” – FC

  12. Comment by Doug (Way Upstate NY) | 04.1.2013 | 10:08 am

    Cannot wait for the results…..When are they coming? BTW. Thanks for keeping quiet the fact that you paid me off with a trip to Rebecca’s Private Idaho for taking the time to fill out your survey. The trip is much appreciated!

  13. Comment by chickenbocks | 04.1.2013 | 10:09 am


  14. Comment by hannah | 04.1.2013 | 10:21 am

    Where’s my option for really fancy Kraft Dinner to buy with my million dollars????

    Love this!

    Forgot the Kraft dinners, I was working from memory, which is poor and getting poorer. – FC

  15. Comment by Rachel | 04.1.2013 | 10:28 am

    Dijon ketchup?

  16. Comment by fat elvis | 04.1.2013 | 10:44 am

    too funny. I totally thought it was legit.

  17. Comment by Wife#1 | 04.1.2013 | 10:45 am

    You had me at the use of Bare Naked Ladies lyrics, but then again, it’s all been done.

    I do need to actually buy a pump though. That’s no joke!

  18. Comment by Wife#1 | 04.1.2013 | 10:52 am

    BTW forgot to mention I am still laughing at “your donations keep this blog free.” That was better than anything!

    Thanks, I’m kinda proud of that one. I thought it up myself and everything. – FC

  19. Comment by MukRider | 04.1.2013 | 11:04 am

    That was an April fools joke? I thought it was just a pleasant distraction from the hustle and bustle of pastry consumption. Glad it wasn’t longer, they might run out of bear claws at my next stop…

  20. Comment by Shirley | 04.1.2013 | 11:05 am

    I cant get past #19. I keep typing in a numeric value and it says its not a number.

    Try 3. – FC

  21. Comment by Chris Engle | 04.1.2013 | 11:09 am

    My wife woke me today at 4:30am with a fake positive pregnancy test.

  22. Comment by Tom in Albany | 04.1.2013 | 11:19 am

    so, where’s the funny part where it ends up on a NSFW website?

  23. Comment by anaginghipster | 04.1.2013 | 11:22 am

    really disappointed i couldn’t enter n+1 as the number of bikes i would own, so i went with the new math answer. hope that doesn’t throw off the results ;)

  24. Comment by madcityspecv | 04.1.2013 | 11:25 am

    it won’t let me input my annual income in the proper Klingon currency, the darsek. what gives?

  25. Comment by Liz M. | 04.1.2013 | 11:30 am

    The sad thing is, I’ve taken legitimate surveys that were almost as non-sensical. Well aimed, Fatty!

  26. Comment by JRay | 04.1.2013 | 11:36 am

    Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an ottoman…..

  27. Comment by mykill | 04.1.2013 | 11:36 am

    It can’t handle my wife’s revision to the formula, either. (n+1)?(s-1) Where n is your current number of bikes and s is your spouse’s current number of bikes. It makes for an interesting arms (legs?) race.

  28. Comment by mykill | 04.1.2013 | 11:38 am

    bah, that ? in my formula was supposed to be a less than or equal to symbol but i broke the internet. Again.

  29. Comment by Patrick | 04.1.2013 | 11:40 am

    Oh, you got me Fatty!

  30. Comment by Josh in Upstate NY | 04.1.2013 | 11:53 am

    Well played sir, well played.

  31. Comment by Steve | 04.1.2013 | 12:03 pm

    I did not trust you. Went to comments first. I am so proud of myself.

  32. Comment by EH | 04.1.2013 | 12:17 pm

    ah! you got me until the second page ;)

  33. Comment by zeeeter | 04.1.2013 | 12:35 pm

    What? You mean it wasn’t true. Probably means there’s not going to be any bacon-flavored mouthwash either then goshdarnit! http://scopemouthwash.com/bacon/

  34. Comment by The Banter | 04.1.2013 | 12:41 pm

    Sad thing is that, in today’s culture, having an ‘other’ in the gender category might be mainstream in the very near future.

    Having said that, I really wanted to buy a Garfunkle, but it wasn’t an option.

  35. Pingback by Cyclelicious » Bikes and April Fools jokes | 04.1.2013 | 12:43 pm

    [...] reader survey about pastries and the number of bikes you’d like to own. [...]

  36. Comment by Clydesteve | 04.1.2013 | 2:02 pm

    I am so angry. If I want to put “plenty-six” in for every number requested in the survey, you know, to be really, really hilarious, and the survey does not let me, well that makes me want to buy bacon-kale flavored pastries and throw up all over the survey.

    Except for the fact that ‘the survey’ is really just a concept, and the only physical thing to throw up on would be my monitor, which would be kind of ineffective as a mode of vengeance.

  37. Comment by roan | 04.1.2013 | 2:08 pm

    1st thought…OH Crap *&%#@@!!!
    2nd thought (rare these days) The check is in the mail.
    3rd thought (pushing my luck here) 4.1.2013…nice.

  38. Comment by Suzanne | 04.1.2013 | 2:25 pm

    Dang, you punked me here at the end of the work day. Just for that, when I do win the Powerball, you will not be getting a new bike from me!

  39. Comment by Kukui | 04.1.2013 | 2:35 pm


    Best April Fools joke I’ve seen yet this year! =)

  40. Comment by jessi | 04.1.2013 | 3:36 pm

    GAH! i was on page 4 before i realized what was going on. nice one fatty!

  41. Comment by Davidh-Marin,ca | 04.1.2013 | 3:44 pm

    I didn’t realize there were other bike blogs, or are these a continuation of the April Fools theme? As a side note it’s taken me most of the day to complete this survey, since I must discover what happens at every question when you refuse to answer.

    And Fatty, it just doesn’t seem fair to have a limit in the “other” categories. Some of us have very valuable and important observations, that we could contribute to such a survey, and whose inclusion, could only benefit your outlook on bicycling….or not.

    Great job Elden. Thank you for sharing your professional talents, normally reserved for your paying clients, with us ‘freeloaders’. I hope the staff at Gardner can distill this data into an appropriate form.

    Glad to see other BNL fans out there!

  42. Comment by BrewCityChris | 04.1.2013 | 4:49 pm

    After getting to the question that kept mentioning pastries, I have been thinking about apple pie all day. Had to break down and make one! Mmmmmm Pie!

  43. Comment by Justin L. | 04.1.2013 | 6:43 pm

    Dang you elden. I played tricks on my kids all morning, then got on the computer, was thinking how much i could donate, should of clicked the paypal and saw the picture, instead i started taking the survey, wasting ten minutes of my life i could not get back, totally fell for it.

  44. Comment by Jenni | 04.1.2013 | 6:46 pm

    I was really hoping the “Your donations…” link went to Rick Roll.

  45. Comment by Aussie Bryan | 04.1.2013 | 7:05 pm

    Well played Sir…. well played !!

  46. Comment by Marion | 04.1.2013 | 7:23 pm

    I couldn’t get it to take my $Billion salary so I never got past that page. Actually I wanted a petaflop of dollars, but it would take that either. Bummer. I didn’t get to list my “wants”.

  47. Comment by Marion | 04.1.2013 | 7:26 pm

    as in a thousand trillion

  48. Comment by Leroy | 04.1.2013 | 8:30 pm

    This may be the only April Fool’s joke I didn’t fall for! (But still enjoyed it.)

  49. Comment by Marsupial MattC | 04.1.2013 | 9:28 pm

    Oh man….I was on travel all day and MISSED IT! Rats…the dream is crushed. I’ll go pout now…

  50. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 04.1.2013 | 9:36 pm


    Are you up here in the northern latitudes? I’ve got an interesting bike just home from the shop I could let you use if you left yours at home….or not. I’m confident it would pull you out of any funk you may be presently suffering.

  51. Comment by Andrew | 04.2.2013 | 5:31 am

    Fool me I missed the survey. Now I will never know.

    When’re are the results out!

  52. Comment by Brian | 04.2.2013 | 6:43 am

    I’m a little afraid to ask how a surgery gets full…

  53. Comment by MOCougFan | 04.2.2013 | 6:44 am

    I look forward to the April 1st blog every year FC!!! Thanks for making me laugh as the years roll by.

  54. Comment by Tom in Albany | 04.2.2013 | 7:22 am

    I went back to do it again and it was close up. ::sniff sniff::

  55. Comment by Grant | 04.2.2013 | 7:44 am

    but I came late and didn’t get to see the survey (or is that “surgery”?)


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