The 2013 100 Miles of Nowhere: Let’s Get Practical

04.15.2013 | 12:17 pm

NewImageA Note from Fatty: If you’re local to Utah County or SLC, you should come do the Elevate 5K this Saturday, April 20. Proceeds will go to benefit three local families engaged in serious battles against cancer. In addition to the run, there’ll be giveaways for some pretty amazing prizes, as well as an auction with trips, tickets to games, bikes, and lots more.  Click here to sign up

Let’s Get Practical

The swag box for the 100 Miles of Nowhere has some pretty excellent swag: Something awesome from Banjo Brothers. A free, exclusive viewing of Singletrack High. And there will be more. Oh yes indeed.

Today, though, I’d like to tell you about the stuff in the swag box that you’ll more than likely want to use during the event itself

Let us check them out.


CarboRocket 333: Half Evil Endurance Fuel

333 is the most potent, complete and effective endurance fuel on the planet. Use it as your stand-alone race and training fuel. No need for messy gels, gooey gummies, expensive bars or clumsy food. Just drink and go and go and go.

It’s available in 1 kilo containers of raspberry or lemonade (with caffeine) and orange (no caffeine). A third of you will get orange flavor, a third will get lemonade (my personal favorite), and a third of you will get raspberry.

And I believe you’ll discover what a lot of hardcore cyclists have found out: my friend Brad — the inventor of CR 333 is — is a half-evil genius. If you’ve ever had gastric issues hot on the heels of drinking some other sports drink, you may well find the answer to your problem right here. 

100 Miles of Nowhere participants will each get a one-serving packet of CR333, which is enough to give you — you guessed it — 333 power-packed calories (about as many calories as you get in three gel packets) in an easy-to-drink bottle. 


Specialized HydroFlo Bottle

Little things make a big difference to me when I’m biking. And — for some reason — having a good water bottle makes a huge difference to me. 

For a long time, I maintained there was no such thing as a good water bottle, for the simple reason that for a long time there really wasn’t a good water bottle out there. 

With the Specialized Purist HydroFlo bottle, though, I have found a bottle I really, genuinely, truly love. They’re super easy to squeeze. Simple and intuitive to lock and unlock. They don’t have the lousy plastic taste most bottles lend to whatever you’re drinking. The caps don’t leak.

And they’re all clear and cool-looking, too. And in short, I just love this bottle (I even made a video about why).

Now, these are pretty expensive bottles — around $15.00, usually, and a really great deal at $12.00, but we’ll be including one in your 100 Miles of Nowhere swag box for free. 

While it isn’t shown here (because we’re busy adapting art to the HydroFlo bottle’s unorthodox screening requirements), your bottle will have a version of this year’s 100 Miles of Nowhere logo on it. 

Believe me, after trying this bottle out, you’re going to get all snobby and standoffish about all your other bottles. I apologize in advance.


Honey Stinger Waffles and Bars

I believe it’s no surprise that I’m a fan of Honey Stinger Waffles. Frankly, I’d be a fan of them even if they weren’t a fantastic, easy-to-eat energy food that sits flat and cozy — like it’s not even there — in your jersey pocket. 

Let’s face it, if they wrapped them into a cone shape and put ice cream in them, I’d think they were pretty much the best part of the ice cream cone.

But they’re energy food. Delicious, don’t-get-sick-of-it energy food. And you’re going to get a Lemon Organic Stinger Waffle in your 100 Miles of Nowhere swag box.   


You’re also going to get But that’s not all. Nosirree.

You’re also going to get a Blueberry Buzz Energy Bar. But “energy bar” is a bad name for what this is, because it conjures up images of other, inferior energy bars. 

And this thing is way too delicious to be thought of alongside those other energy bars. For one thing, the bar itself tastes good on its own merits. For another, it’s coated on the underside with a sort of white-choclatey yogurt frostingish stuff that makes this taste more like a dessert than something you should be eating while you ride your bike. 

But you should be eating it while you ride your bike. Specifically, you should be eating it while you ride your bike 100 miles, to nowhere.


DZ Nuts / Bliss

If there’s one product you are absolutely positively going to need when riding your 100 Miles of Nowhere race, it’s DZ Nuts. Or, if you’re a woman, DZ Bliss. (Although, honestly, both kinds work just fine for both genders.)

Because if you don’t use it, you’re likely to suffer from some chafing problems. And those get worse as the miles wear on. And once they start getting worse, they get a lot worse. And suddenly, your silly day of insane riding for a good cause has turned into a Slog of Pain.

And you don’t want that. And I don’t want that for you. And Dave Zabriskie doesn’t want that for anyone.

So, in each 100 Miles of Nowhere swag box will be included a sample pack of DZ Nuts and DZ Bliss. Try them both, decide which you like best. And don’t feel bad if your answer is surprising. It ships in a plain brown wrapper, from what I understand.

Get Ready to Register

Believe it or not, I still haven’t revealed all the stuff you’ll be getting as part of your 100 Miles of Nowhere Swag Box. But this will have to do ’til my Wednesday post, where I will unveil the registration link and everything else you’ll be getting. 

Look for a post — and for registration to open — Wednesday, April 17, at 9:00am CT.


  1. Comment by bykjunkie | 04.15.2013 | 12:37 pm

    The alarm is set for 15 min prior to the sign-ups!!

  2. Comment by PBRMEASAP | 04.15.2013 | 12:58 pm

    I’m still waiting for the vac packed Fatty’s famous Brät.

  3. Comment by Hautacam | 04.15.2013 | 1:31 pm

    Central time?! Will you be live-blogging from T6 HQ or something?

  4. Comment by bykjunkie | 04.15.2013 | 1:49 pm

    PBRMEASAP, What a wonderful, wonderful idea. I could not agree more!!

  5. Comment by Mark J. in Dallas | 04.15.2013 | 2:24 pm

    I’m in again.

    LOVE Honey Stingers. Curious – how long until they take him off the packaging.

  6. Comment by John Boy | 04.15.2013 | 3:45 pm

    The suspense is killing me. You should offer early registration for a little higher entry fee.

  7. Comment by John H. | 04.15.2013 | 5:26 pm

    mmmmm, waffles.!!!

  8. Comment by Marsupial MattC | 04.15.2013 | 6:07 pm

    mmmmmMMMM! Half Evil…THAT is some SERIOUSLY good stuff! Looks like there are other flavors…but I’ve only had one: the raspberry is to DIE for…not too sweet…just right. (Honestly…it’s the best tasting energy drink I’ve EVER had!) I was kind’a sad when they shifted to the 1-kilo can though…need to buy it more often, and I’m typically kind’a broke (I patch my tubes 2 or 3 times usually).

    @Wife#1…per yesterday’s comments…when I talked to Noodle briefly (on Sat), she mentioned she had just been down in my area doing the Solvang Double herself (Solvang is 30 mi fm my house). I remarked to her how horrible it must have been (the 1st half anyway for sure) as it was into a wicked head/crosswind the entire way…I was on a club ride heading south that morning passing all the slogging along double riders. Apparently Noodle is an optimist because she said that was true about the wind, but that the SECOND 100 miles was awesome with the tailwind. I personally would need about a 100 mph tailwind to make a SECOND hundred miles fun.

    We have lots of wind nearly year round where I live…but mid March’ish every year it picks up some real ‘vehemence’ against roadies (never had that word in my vocabulary till Noodles 1st awesome video) which typically lasts about a month, give or take a month. My backup plan in wicked wind is to Mt bike…for some reason it’s ok then.

    OK…I now take you back to the regularly scheduled comments.

  9. Comment by Wife#1 | 04.15.2013 | 10:01 pm

    Fatty… how come you have not posted your weight in 6 days? I’m counting on you to maintain that loss mister. I need a role model. Losing is the easy part.

    @marsupialmatt, add a limousine for the 2nd 100 miles and I’ll call it fun. :-)

  10. Comment by Davidh-Marin,ca | 04.15.2013 | 11:22 pm

    Matt. If you want to feel even more inadequate(and what man doesn’t want that?) check out Noodle’s stats from that Solvang event. 3.23.13 on Strava. 3rd fastest woman behind her friend Rita Jett( coincidence? I think not), and 51st amongst all riders. Despite the wind you refer to, she averaged 17+ mph for 200 miles!!!. I jump for joy if I can hit 17 mph on my 6 mile relatively flat commute to the ferry.(not jump per se, more like “spirit fingers”.

    As for the ’shout out’ I smile with pride whenever someone shouts Hey Fatty! at me. Even if I’m not wearing my team kit.

    Received my Twin6 present today, laundry can now be postponed a little longer.

    Thanks Fatty for all this effort. I vacillate between signing up or holding back to support Wife#1 and #1Son on their effort. This ever growing swag bag is not a fair playing field. It’s kinda of like offering PIE to a Team Fatty member…..oh!…..maybe that was the idea all along. Will we see your report from the run this weekend? Or Brice’s?

    Matt. Give us the official countdown clock: 34h 29m 28s till takeoff!

  11. Comment by Maxine Fowler | 04.16.2013 | 4:53 am

    Yum yum, Honey stinger waffles are the bees knees :)

  12. Comment by Joe | 04.16.2013 | 8:29 am

    I’m pretty set on Honey Stinger Waffles for awhile thanks to Steep & Cheap, but more are always welcome. Looking forward to another 100MoN, this will be my fourth!

  13. Comment by Mukrider | 04.16.2013 | 9:32 am

    Warming up my clicking finger now…

  14. Comment by Wife#1 | 04.16.2013 | 12:31 pm

    Thinny! You are doing so great! Just melting away. Awesome! Can’t remember, what was your final target? You must be close!

  15. Comment by Marsupial MattC | 04.16.2013 | 12:44 pm

    Sheesh Fatty….that’s THIRTY POUNDS! You da MAN!

  16. Comment by Wife#1 | 04.16.2013 | 1:35 pm

    “This domain has just been registered”…. planning ahead there (formerly) big guy? Or did one of your followers swipe the URL in anticipation of your needing it, and thus plans to extort money, swag or possibly bikes in exchange for releasing it to you? :-)


  17. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 04.16.2013 | 5:33 pm

    As you can see from the ’screen share’ from Wife#1 above, her diet has resulted in her going to previously ‘unknown’ places….and bookmarking them(if that’s the right term). PhotoContestVoting is work related but pickled asparagus? is just what it says….I hope.(I have not opened it myself) Spicy Slow Cooker Black (Bean Soup) was very good. But, we have jars of pickled carrots, eggs, and something else I’m willing to share if anyone is interested.

    Nice job on the numbers FaSkinny! Personally dipped below 220 for the first time in awhile! (but then I’m on the Bagel and occasional cookie diet, and results may vary….)

  18. Comment by facefull | 04.16.2013 | 7:32 pm

    Ouch. 9 am CT is 12 am in Australia. Not sure I want to stay up that late (I have a 5 am ride the next day). That said, I am pretty sure the pack will be worth it.

  19. Comment by AKChick55 | 04.16.2013 | 8:16 pm

    We are finally warming up and the snow is melting. Not fast enough, but still.

    Sign-up time for me is 6am (we are 3 hours behind Central Time). I have reminders set and I’m up at 4:30 anyway for my workout so I’ll be poised, fingers above the keyboard waiting to pounce on the link as soon as it’s posted. Hopefully, TwinSix is ready for the server overload. :)

  20. Comment by Mark in Bremerton | 04.16.2013 | 9:21 pm

    Did a 10 lap trial run today (33 miles). Training is definitely required! Double checked with my buddy that he’s going to try to get registered bright and early. Standing by…

  21. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Register NOW for the 2013 100 Miles of Nowhere | 04.17.2013 | 7:56 pm

    [...] « The 2013 100 Miles of Nowhere: Let’s Get Practical [...]

  22. Comment by Leon | 04.18.2013 | 7:23 am

    The sun is out and today is another small 20 mile ride to my nearest ice cream parlor. I need to build back up to my 60 mile rides.

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