A Note from Fatty: If, after reading today’s 100MoN story, you feel like you’d like another for the weekend, check out Giro d’Jenny’s really excellent writeup.
Another Note from Fatty: I love this race report particularly, because it’s absolutely positively totally old-school, taking the 100 Miles of Nowhere right back to its roots: on a trainer, going nowhere. And then he takes the idea even further back than that.
100 Miles of Nowhere: Winner of 29-yr-old in East-Central Indiana stationary category
by Eric B.
I hadn’t intended to do the 100 MoN. As I a regular reader of Fatty’s blog I’d heard of it, but decided it was too much….but then I read this post. Now as a relatively sane man, I should have stopped there, but then I read Fatty’s original 100 MoN race report. As I am evidently a very damaged man, I went ahead and read every post and clicked every link I could find on Fatty’s blog about this event. I shouldn’t have.
100 miles…in a garage…on a trainer….with a MTB
I really didn’t understand what I was getting myself into. I knew that it would be tough, I knew I would hurt. I underestimated it.
See? That’s a pic of my mug at 6:45 am happy and hopeful, engergetic and pleased with myself, naïve and stupid.
To sum up my experience, I have a list of good ideas and bad ideas that others may want to take note of.
- Good Idea: Doing the 100 MoN. Great fund-raiser for a great cause. ‘nuff said.
- Bad Idea: Riding a 15-yr-Old MTB:
- It’s slow. At a high cadence (90-100) in top gear I could only maintain 20-21 mph.
- It’s loud. The noises it makes when you get it into its top gear are dazzling and horrifying. It sounded like an evil popcorn maker was chasing me with a maladjusted dentist’s drill while also randomly opening and closing a zippo for over 8 hours.
- It has flat bars. You are severely limited in riding positions. Normal and side-saddle are about it.
- Good Idea: Electrolytes: It was hot, the Half-Evil from the swag bag and a whole load of G****ade kept me from bonking. My engineer/coach/younger brother told me I sucked down 2 ½ gallons of funny-colored liquid over the course of the day.
- Bad Idea: Drinking 2 ½ gallons of G****ade: I suffered from worsening symptoms of pyrosis , eructation, and flatus as the day went on…and on… and on.
- Good Idea: Being a Musician: I discovered that I am able to count my cadence without a cadenceometerajig. This ability started to slip at about the 75 mile mark.
- Bad Idea: Letting your engineer/coach/younger brother be an engineer for the 100 MoN:
He will want to build a special rig to capture/store/monitor the data that corresponds to your suffering. You will start riding over an hour later than you intended. Just have him coach, or do the engineering part of it the day before.
- Good Idea: Eating: Once I started riding, I ate anything I could find. I had prepared 6 peanut butter sandwiches; gone before mile 60. I had the snacks from the 100 MoN swag bag; gone before mile 30. I had flatbread pizzas in the fridge for my lunch and my brother’s; I slapped them together and ate both of them like giant sandwich. My wife made pasta for 4 for dinner; I’m quite sure I ate half of it before anybody noticed. Eating is awesome.
- Bad Idea: Riding 100 miles on a trainer:
I hadn’t thought it through, there are no hills to coast down on a trainer. You have to grind out every single mile. Knobby tires also drag down your inertia…a lot.
- Good Idea: Watching movies with the dog to get through it:
Iron Man, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, Tomorrow Never Dies, and The Avengers all only had a few slow spots that were tough to maintain pace.
- Great Idea: The 100 MoN: It’s a crazy challenge, but worth it.
Here’s proof I actually did it, with breaks, in 8hrs 44min.
I made my wife present me with the shirt like I’d just won.
She made me change clothes before I could come in the house. I’m making my engineer/coach/younger brother ride with me next year, someone needs to share this suffering and madness.