Pay Up, Suckas: Report on Fatty’s “100 Miles of Going Nowhere” Epic

01.12.2008 | 3:15 pm

About forty miles into riding my rollers (for those of you lucky enough to not know what "rollers" are, they’re a contraption that lets you ride your regular bike inside, without going anywhere), I had an epiphany, sharp and bright:

"I," I thought to myself, "am a complete idiot."

It’s an incontrovertible point, so don’t bother to try arguing. Not that you were going to anyway.

Apart from the obvious and ongoing reasons for which I am an idiot, though, why did it suddenly occur to me that I am an idiot while I was riding my bike, going nowhere, for 100 miles?

The answer is simple: I am an idiot because I had chosen to ride my bike, going nowhere, for 100 miles.

Here’s what the road looks like when you’re riding inside for 100 miles:


Oddly enough, the road looks very much like a pair of office chair mats, placed there to keep the quarts and quarts and quarts of sweat from landing in the carpet.

And here’s the view:


And now I’m going to tell you what it was like.

Pay Up, Suckas
Before I get into the nitty-gritty details, though, I’m happy to say that I did in fact complete the 100 miles…and a little bit more, just to show I wasn’t beaten. Here are the stats:

  • Total Distance: 101.66 miles
  • Total Time: 6:34:31 (including stopped time when I was eating, refilling water bottles, changing DVDs and so forth)
  • Average Speed: 15.55 mph (again, in my defense, this averages in when I was not riding at all)
  • Total Calories:  7095 (according to my Garmin workout software — this seems outrageously high to me)
  • Average Heart Rate: 143 bpm
  • Max Heart Rate: 167 bpm
  • Average Cadence: 75 rpm

I’d like to ask those of you who, last week, bet me that I could not do this to pay up. You can do this by making the donation amount you promised to the Lance Armstrong Foundation — around $1200 in donations, altogether, so I guess doing this wasn’t entirely idiotic. Anyway, Click here to get started with making your donation. Most of you who bet against me noted that you hoped I would win, since you were more than happy to help with  the important work this foundation is doing, so thank you very much.

The Route
Both during the ride and afterward, I thought several times how strange it was to be riding this many miles, for this many hours, without ever leaving my house.

Apparently, my Garmin 305 — a GPS as well as odometer, speedometer, heart rate monitor and cadence-ometer — thought it was strange, too, because here’s what it shows as my route:


Oddly enough, this is exactly what it would look like if I were to carry a GPS on an average weekday morning as I look for my keys.

To eliminate this confusion, I charted my 100 mile route using Google Maps:


Yes, that’s really my house, though this satellite photo’s at least half a year old. for one thing, there are three more houses that would appear in this image if the photo were recent, and everything would be buried under about two feet of snow.

By the way, the houses on either side of mine are for sale right now if you want to be my neighbor. Although the fact that the houses on either side of me are for sale might tell you what kind of neighbor I am.

The Math
When I’m riding outside, I’m generally not especially interested in quantifying my experience. I know whether it felt like a long ride. I know whether my heart felt like it was going to explode out my chest during the climbs. I know when I’ve bonked and have had to pretend I have a flat tire to disguise the fact that I simply can’t turn the cranks anymore.

When I’m riding inside, though, the math matters. I need something to prove that I wasn’t actually just sitting in that room watching TV. Or at least that, while I was sitting in that room watching TV I was also riding my bike.

Which, unfortunately for you, means I’m about to show you a bunch of charts. Here’s a graph of my speed:


This chart demonstrates, nice and visual-like, my very most common error when riding: I take it out too fast. I intended, before I began, to try to hold a nice, steady 19mph for the entire ride.

And yet, as you can see, for the first forty miles I tended to ride between 20 and 23 mph.

Even as I was churning along, too fast at too high a gear, I was thinking to myself: "I’m going too fast, at too high a gear."

And yet I did not slow down, saving something for the second half of the ride.

And the results speak pretty clearly for themselves: right about mile 40, I slowed waaaaaaay down. Not because I wanted to. Because I had to.

Although, to be fair to myself, from miles 40-60 was also when I was watching episodes 21-22 of Season 6 of 24. Man, those episodes sucked. It’s really a miracle that I was able to stay on my bike at all. Several times I would look down at my speedometer, notice it had dropped to 15, and think to myself, "This is not my fault."

[Side Note: I just had a brilliant idea. For action movies and TV shows, the studio should test the quality of the film by having athletes exercise to them. If the athletes are able to stay in zone 4 throughout the film, it's a winner. If not, keep adding car chases, fistfights, explosions and gunfire until the movie does its job (i.e., keep the adrenaline flowing).]

And now, here’s my cadence (number of times per minute I was able to turn the cranks):


I’m actually pretty pleased with this graph. It shows that for the duration of the ride, I was able to keep my cadence at a nice, even rate: right around 80-85 rotations per minute. So, even though I lost power, I was able to downshift and keep my pedals going at about the same rate.

Of course, 90 rpm would have been better. I just wanted to point out that I already realize this, or somebody in the comments most certainly would have. And probably still will.

All those little dips represent how every few minutes I would shift into a high gear and stand up to pedal (not something you can do on most rollers, but very easy to do on the E-Motion Rollers), so as to keep my nether regions from falling asleep and eventually atrophying and falling off.

That would be bad.

And gross.

The big dips in cadence — the ones that drop all the way to 0 — are for when I got of the bike to refill my water bottles, go get something to eat, change the DVD, or — for episodes 21-22 of 24 — skip forward a couple of scenes to avert the catastrophic consequences of falling asleep on the rollers.

Miscellaneous Thoughts on Riding 100 Miles Without Going Anywhere
When you ride your bike outside for 100 miles — whether on the road or on the dirt — with a group of riding buddies you bring home big memories: memories of the road and the scenery, memories of hanging out with your friends, and memories of the standout features of the ride: a big climb, a twisty descent.

When you ride inside for 100 miles, your overarching memory of the event is of the stuff you used to distract you from the ride itself: I mostly remember watching the last few episodes of 24 (uggghhh) and the first few episodes of Deadwood (great show so far, but it’s a good thing I listen over headphones, because I do not want my kids hearing that language).

All that said, I do have a few observations to make.

  • My left achilles tendon got sore: In fourteen years of cycling, my achilles tendons have never gotten sore before. Now I have a hard time walking up the stairs. Due to this, today I considered, for the first time, riding up the stairs on Susan’s stairlift. In the end I walked the stairs, but the day is still young.
  • Eating was awesome: When riding 100 miles on the open road, your food options are limited to what you can carry in your jersey pocket without it melting or giving you salmonella. When riding 100 miles in  your house, your food options are limited to what’s in the kitchen. During this ride, I ate several slices of pizza, a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich, half a burrito, and drank a whole bunch of Pepsi Max (it’s like regular Diet Pepsi, but with more caffeine! Huzzah!). Many of you would have gotten sick eating the way I did, but I was fine. Eating while exercising is my superpower. It is why I am The Fat Cyclist, and you are not.
  • A long ride before bed was a great idea: After riding 100 miles, I’m always cooked and need to sleep for a while. By starting this ride at 8:30pm — right after I got the twins to bed — I finished around 3:00am. So sure I was cooked and needed to sleep afterwards. Serendipitously, it was definitely time for bed. 
  • Two fans was a good idea: I had one fan on the windowsill with the window open, blowing cold air at my front in from outside. Another fan sat on the floor, blowing air at my side. I still sweated (I think "swat" should be past tense of "sweat," but that’s just me) gallon upon gallon, but I never felt especially uncomfortable.
  • I do not need chamois cream: I’m increasingly confident that chamois cream is just for people who either haven’t yet hardened their butts up or have an especially bad chamois. I never use it, and I don’t need it.
  • There are no downhill sections on the rollers: One thing that makes riding 100 miles on the rollers hard is that there are no coasting sections. You’ve got to keep pedaling, all the time.
  • A two minute rest does a lot of good: Every time I got off the bike for a couple minutes to refill water bottles or change the DVD, I felt so much stronger when I got back on my bike. I need to remember to take short breaks during long rides and races; I think that will make me faster overall.
  • My neck is sore: I am now paying the price for riding for 6.5 hours with my neck craned up enough to see the TV. I need to find a lower stand for the TV.

Would I Do It Again?
So, was this a one-time stunt, or will I ever ride 100 miles on the rollers again? I don’t know. After doing this, I can’t help but wonder: how far could I ride my rollers in 24 hours? Or what if a bunch of us — located wherever we each happen to live — had a 100-miles-on-rollers ride/race, with entry fees, divisions, awards, t-shirts, and everything? With proceeds going toward fighting cancer, natch.

I have to admit, I like the idea of "Fatty’s First Annual Cyber Century."


  1. Comment by Ant | 01.13.2008 | 12:53 pm

    Congratulations! Quite a feat. Although I suspect I would have got so bored, I would have chewed my own arm off!

  2. Comment by Will | 01.13.2008 | 1:10 pm


    I have emailed you a receipt of my donation to Lance.

    Could you please post the GPX file? It looks like a nice route – i’d like to upload to my Edge.

    Nice job for a good cause.

  3. Comment by Wheels | 01.13.2008 | 1:11 pm

    Great write up for such an uneventful event. The graphs really make it for the analytical dweebs in your readership, especially the route map. That’s classic. Congratulations and $1200 for LAF makes it more than worth it.

  4. Comment by Joel | 01.13.2008 | 1:21 pm

    You are a better man than I. I did promise a dollar per mile donation and it’s made. Congrats.

    Online Donations – Confirmation

    Thank you for your recent contribution to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

  5. Comment by dailytri | 01.13.2008 | 1:32 pm

    Congrats on the ride and great summary post of the ride. I could be convinced to be part of Fatty’s First-Annual Cyber Century. Just give me another four weeks to prep.

  6. Comment by Al Maviva | 01.13.2008 | 1:38 pm

    Congrats, but… Dear God, man. I just finished a three hour base training session on the trainer and wanted to die. It amounted to 54 miles. It was not fun and I feel like I have a fever right now. You are indeed a freak of nature.

    Then again, I wasn’t regularly lubricating myself with pizza and peanut butter sandwiches and didn’t have two fans on me, sticking to a bottle of sports drink and a couple bottles of water to cool off and for nutrients. Hey, why is it 94 degrees in my basement? I don’t remember putting on the heat…. why is the room spinning?

  7. Comment by scrooge | 01.13.2008 | 2:06 pm

    Nice work…
    Did your headphones have an extra long cord?

  8. Comment by Sprocketboy | 01.13.2008 | 2:28 pm

    To make it the time on the rollers more interesting, you could have done a 20 second sprint every time someone on “Deadwood” swore, or used a particular bad word. Your average speed would probably have gotten closer to 27 mph.

    Well done!

  9. Comment by John | 01.13.2008 | 2:34 pm

    Intelligent comment: The pattern you see in the GPS data is a result of the inaccuracy in the GPS signal. Your actual position is, more or less, the average of all of these positions. Some GPS receivers will accumulate and average fixes over minutes or hours to automatically give you a really, really, really accurate position.

    Smart-ass comment: I’m glad that your cadence never went negative, as the graphing tool apparently allows for.

    Actual question: I like the idea of your roller setup far, far more than my rear-wheel trainer. But here’s what I don’t understand about rollers: Where is the resistance? What good does riding without any resistance do?

  10. Comment by Rider34 | 01.13.2008 | 2:49 pm

    No downhills is what it is ALWAYS like here in Florida. The only time you can coast is when you want to stop.

    If you did the cyber century, would everyone have to use a Garmin 305 to match results?

    Finally, would the cyber century have to be done on rollers? Or could those of us who are “diverse weather” challenged take part by riding on the road in our 75 degree sunny conditions?

  11. Comment by je | 01.13.2008 | 3:33 pm

    Congrats and well done. I, too, did 100 miles indoors on Friday morning. the only difference being I did mine in a spinning studio at the gym.

    So, obviously, you had to balance as well as pedal. I just had to pedal.

    I thought about you and Susan while spinning because I was in a hurry to finish up and get up to Huntsman where my father was having a 6-months-later checkup to see how his prostate cancer is doing. Clean as a whistle is the report.

    I’ll try to make it to the Frozen Hog. If not, consider a donation on its way.

  12. Comment by Rocky | 01.13.2008 | 3:33 pm

    I am glad to hear (this is me assuming) that the recently outed nether regions did not atrophy and fall off. It comes up a lot. Is that one of the nightmares you chose not to reference in your recent dream entry? Yes, gross is one word choice.

    I am also glad that you did it. Notice I did not bet. That is, for one, because I only learned of this stunt yesterday (Saturday) because I was out of town. And two, you always never quit. Three, I should donate anyway, just on principle.

    I would be interested in the cyber century, as long as one of the categories is old, fat, slow guys, and I could have the option of riding it on the road – 20 mile flat road loops with hot cocoa and cheese block stops at home in between.

    BTW, I hate Rider34 for his/her “diverse weather” as I fester here in my sub 20 days of frozen hell.

  13. Comment by Travis | 01.13.2008 | 4:04 pm

    inspiring for all us other indoor nutters at this time of year….

  14. Comment by fatty | 01.13.2008 | 4:05 pm

    john – for your actual question, these rollers have 3 magnetic resistance levels. if you look at the picture at the top of this post, you’ll see a wheel about in the middle of the rollers, with a belt going to the second drum from the back. That’s the resistance unit. for my ride, i set the resistance on 0, which does not mean that there was no resistance — just that the mag unit didn’t provide add’l resistance. you still get some resistance from good ol’ friction and whatnot; it’s not like pedaling your bike in the air. the value of rollers, apart from resistance, is that you tend to develop a smoother riding cadence than you do with a fixed trainer. also, fixed trainers are more boring, somehow, since they feel even less like a bike ride.

    rocky – apart from the ability to always eat, hanging in there is in fact my other superpower.

    je – i’m very impressed you were able to do 100 miles on a fixed trainer in a club. the mental aspect of that seems a lot more intolerable, somehow. good going!

    sprocketboy – if i did even a five second sprint every time deadwood used foul language, i would have never done anything but sprint. and after the show, i still would have had about a fifteen minute cache of sprints i’d have to get caught up on.

    everyone who’s already forwarded me receipts showing they’ve donated to the LAF, thanks!

  15. Comment by je | 01.13.2008 | 4:42 pm

    fatty, it was actually a lot less difficult than I imagined. I kept enough resitance on to actually feel it the entire time, but it wasn’t too bad. I took 3 or 4 breaks for the potty or bottle refills, but the iPod, walkers and runners outside the studio and the high schooll swim team in the pool below the studio kept my brain occupied. When the spin classes showed up to ride with me, it kept the motivation going. I had to stay about 10 minutes after the last class left, but I made it.

    Next time you try something like this I’ll try to join in a cyber way. Maybe set up my laptop on a stand next to the bike and try to knock you off your bike by sending you bike crash pictures.

  16. Comment by jeelmblad | 01.13.2008 | 4:53 pm

    Good for you Fatty, and to all the folks who donated to the LAF.

    You might want to check out some folks who ride long, indoors, a lot. These are scary numbers! Especially the fact that the indoor record is over 100 hours.

  17. Comment by SurlyCommuter | 01.13.2008 | 4:58 pm

    Fatty – I’m proud of you! 30 minutes on my wind trainer takes roughly 6 weeks to pass so I can’t even imagine 100 miles. Good work. By the way – I happily visited the LAF website and we’re even.

  18. Comment by Bluenoser | 01.13.2008 | 5:51 pm

    Way to go Fatty,

    While you were sleeping I had to endure 50 miles of this and one PB&J sandwich washed down with Gatoraid.

    I’ll gladly pay Lance Tuesday for a hamburger today. -Wimpy

  19. Comment by bikemike | 01.13.2008 | 6:09 pm

    dude, you would have gone faster if you’d taken the seat bag off.

    you’re one of the lucky ones that doesn’t have to use chamois cream of any sort.
    i can’t brush my teeth without it.

    congrats, job well done!

  20. Comment by Brandy | 01.13.2008 | 6:22 pm

    Chamios cream not needed if your chamios is on the correct side!! hee hee

  21. Comment by Chris | 01.13.2008 | 6:48 pm

    Did you watch Deadwood with or without the $*##&$$^#*&+ subtitles?

  22. Comment by | 01.13.2008 | 6:49 pm

    Way to go Fatty! Didn’t I tell you that Pepsi Max is a sweet muse?! Oh, wait, no, that was a blog I did. Anyway, yeah… great stuff. OH! And wicked riding man.
    Hmmmm, move to Utah?

  23. Comment by fatty | 01.13.2008 | 7:01 pm

    chris – i turned off the subtitles. this was the first time i’ve ever seen a DVD with subtitles set to “on” by default, which i thought was odd. do you know what the reason is behind that?

  24. Comment by TIMK | 01.13.2008 | 7:12 pm

    bikemike, he needed the seat bag – he rode 100 miles. He could have had a flat at mile 70 and then he’d have to call someone to come get him.

  25. Comment by carl nicoletti | 01.13.2008 | 8:08 pm

    In the lower left hand corner of the satelite photos of your neighborhood there is a round thing with what looks like smoke or steam coming out of it…. is that a MISSLE SILO?? Heck yeah, I’ll buy a house there!!! Good work Fatty!! – Carl

  26. Comment by Chris | 01.13.2008 | 9:07 pm

    You might consider your next 100-mile challenge with other folks to be done on a bunch of: Ergo Bike Premium 8i trainers.

    here’s a decent video explanation ->

    and a gizmodo review ->

    Maybe they would donate the bikes to the riders for the event?

  27. Comment by fatty | 01.13.2008 | 9:16 pm

    carl – hey, every neighborhood has its pros and cons.

  28. Comment by gewwez | 01.13.2008 | 11:36 pm

    i had the impression pepsi max was caffeine free!

  29. Comment by buckythedonkey | 01.14.2008 | 1:27 am

    I never knew you lived in Knotts Landing/Brookside.

    Dodgy seque: when I was at college we used to play a game called “Drink-along-a-Dallas” wherin competitors were obliged to take a glug every time JR did. In the course of an average episode you’d get mildly spannered. I am sure this could be adapted into “Drink-along-a-Deadwood”, although it sounds like the games would be pretty short (and utterly conclusive).

    Congrats on the ride, confirmation email on the way.

  30. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 01.14.2008 | 3:56 am

    Man, that’s just plain silly.

    I raced Saturday night at the velodrome, raced Sunday morning at a club criterium, then hit the rollers at around 9:30am Sunday to prove… um… something.

    I figured my huge quads pounding a 54×12 on my track bike with 180psi in the Vittoria Pista Evos would allow me a tidy 3 hours for 100 miles. This was a great plan allowing me to watch Pulp Fiction in its entirety and then hit the MP3 player for the final 30 minutes.

    The first 20 minutes and 14 seconds yielded 17.6km (10.9mi) so I was on target for 3 hours 5 minutes. Alas, all the racing in the previous 18 hours had taken the edge off my legs. I barely lasted to hear Jules Winnfield quoting Ezekiel. The average 52.1kph (32.3mph) at 93rpm and I even managed the first interval going 30 seconds at over 150rpm touching 172rpm and 95kph (59mph) along the way.

    I’m a whimp. I admit it. A 4 mile scratch race, 1 mile wheelrace, keiren heat and final, derby heat and final and a 30 minute criterium should be no excuse. But they are my excuse. But I think I’ll have another bash next Saturday when there’s no distractions in the preceding 24 hours.

    In the meantime I’ve just lodged my donation.

  31. Comment by brokemba | 01.14.2008 | 4:22 am

    Fantastic job Fatty. I know the feeling of getting through 40 miles and realizing, “wow, I really am an idiot to try this” feeling. I would certainly do the cyber century for a cause like LAF.

    How big are the homes next to you? I have 3 kids and to few bicycles in my collection (for my taste that is…My wife says otherwise rather often…). If you are the last one on the block after running the neighbors off, my children will take care of the survivors…

    If you and the guys are doing a big nasty MTB weekend, you should post the dates and I have a feeling that the group could grow exponentially. Kind of a MTB riding woodstock thingy…in Utah…yeah…

  32. Comment by Mike Roadie | 01.14.2008 | 6:04 am

    Not just an amazing feat, but a funny post as well! You commented that you always go out to fast, and then suffer around mile 40. Try maintaining a cadence of 80-85 rpm no matter what gear you are riding.

  33. Comment by Mike Roadie | 01.14.2008 | 6:05 am

    And congrats on the donations to the LAF–my favorite charity, as you know!!!

  34. Comment by cheapie | 01.14.2008 | 6:26 am

    hmmmm… ok. maybe i’d like one of these.

    (checks site out)

    Price: $795.00??????? HOLY CRAP!

  35. Comment by Rudi | 01.14.2008 | 6:26 am

    Fatty, I think the reason you don’t need chamois cream is that you live in the desert.

    When I lived in Utah (the first 20 years of my life), I never needed to worry about chafe from my chamois because of the dry climate: things never quite got to…. tropical terrarium status, so to speak. But living in the east, where a low humidity day (40 percent) is the equivalent of a “what the @#$% is this?” humid day in Utah, the chamois creams/butt pastes are the difference between comfort and agony on rides longer than a couple of hours.

    But I’m glad you met your challenge! I wish I could afford that tony set of rollers – very nice! But I’d also have a wee bit of an issue storing them in my tiny, city apartment.

    Plus, we don’t get a lot of snow in DC (as a skier, I doth protest), so year-round road cycling is the norm.


  36. Comment by TomO | 01.14.2008 | 6:38 am

    Fatty, I did not read all of the comments to see if anyong else noted this, but you can change your Garmin for indoor training (GPS off) by going to Settings/System/General and change Normal to GPS Off. I have this device and was getting intermittent pauses (while not stopped) until I change to the GPS Off mode while on my trainer.

  37. Comment by RICK | 01.14.2008 | 6:52 am

    At least you had your shorts on right side out this time. Although, I suspect that the thought of having to pay out $1200 if you didn’t finish would be enough to motivate you enough to finish even with the shorts right side out and upside down…

  38. Comment by Bonzai Buckaroo | 01.14.2008 | 7:19 am

    Amazing feat!!! I have never been able to ride for more than an hour indoors.

    WRT your sore achilles tendon, I suggest you stretch it out “easily”. I know for you to do anthing easily is difficult, but try this: (1) stand facing a stair case in the up direction with just the balls of your feet on the step, (2) slowly lower your heels until you feel the stretch in you tendon (do not over do it, if it burns, your going too far.), (3) slowly raise up on your toes. Repeat a few times. Use the railing for keeping your balance if you need to.

  39. Comment by Lifesgreat | 01.14.2008 | 7:23 am

    Congrats Fatty! Glad the chamois was right side out, the fans were working and the Pepsi plentiful.

    I have a Garmin Edge 205 and turn my GPS to “off” while on my trainer in my basement. However, the altimeter continues to work. According to it, there are some rides where I have finished on the roof of my house.

  40. Comment by Uphill Battle | 01.14.2008 | 7:41 am

    Fatty, I am in for “Fatty’s First Annual Cyber Century”! My weapon of choice will be my Cycleops, as I don’t have the coordination required to ride on rollers.

  41. Comment by woogie | 01.14.2008 | 7:43 am

    $101.66 donated to LAF as promised.

    Great job for a good purpose.

  42. Comment by Teebone | 01.14.2008 | 7:43 am

    I know I did not pledge or make a bet, but I just shot off a donation of $25 to LAF. As much enjoyment as I have gotten out of reading your blog every day for the past few years, I had to do it. It’s a bargain. Less than one penny per EU (Entertainment Unit) Thanks Fatty!

  43. Comment by Paul | 01.14.2008 | 8:20 am

    My hat’s off to you on your acheivement!

    A couple of years ago I got a power trainer with the ability to simulate real terrain.

    So what did I do? Cimb Mt Ventoux!

    At the time, I was 215lbs. It took me 2 hrs to complete the climb (13 miles) and afterwards I practically collapsed. Since then I haven’t attempted anything more than an hour, usually much less.

  44. Comment by Gillian | 01.14.2008 | 8:53 am

    Twenty bucks went to the foundation. Way to go.

  45. Comment by oj | 01.14.2008 | 8:55 am

    Lose the TV…you need this new toy for next year! They have some of these at my club and cyber guy guy that you are I know you’d love ‘em!

  46. Comment by KT | 01.14.2008 | 9:01 am

    Wow, fatty, that’s impressive. I mean, it appears that being on the rollers you wouldn’t really go anywhere, but your GPS map is pretty conclusive on that score. Maybe it’s showing side-to-side movement? Like, when you lean the bike against the wall for one of your breaks?

    I admit that I’m a geek, so seeing graphs and math is pretty cool.

    Longest amount of time on the trainer: 45 minutes, real-time. Apparent time: a day.

    Most recently, though, I’ve got a heart rate monitor, so 40 minutes goes by pretty quick when you spend all of it watching the numbers. :) Maybe that’s the secret, distract yourself by any means possible, even if it’s watching the numbers and doing math in your head.

    Anyway, good job, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. :)

  47. Comment by Chris | 01.14.2008 | 9:13 am

    I have done 100 miles on the trainer 3 times. Always on the second Saturday in February, which is 6 months before Leadville.

  48. Comment by TIMK | 01.14.2008 | 9:16 am

    Just forward my receipt from the LAF. Hopefully the company that made your supreme rollers (which my wife calls sissy rollers because she rode the ones that were likely to throw you into the wall at any given moment) will see your excellent product endorsement and be inclined to send a little love to the LAF.

  49. Comment by Big Bird | 01.14.2008 | 10:31 am

    Interesting that you mention your Achilles tendons. I’ve never had problems with mine, either, until I started putting in heavy miles indoors. Fortunately, they’ve been much better since I got my Inside Ride rollers. I could barely walk during the period when I was riding the Blackburn TrakStand.

  50. Comment by Randy | 01.14.2008 | 10:36 am

    I have a spinner but.. you all could watch the playoffs next weekend and list your mileage during the game. Love spinning to Football. Hey you could have a super bowl race and take breaks to snack and drink a few beers. That way you also list how many beers you had during the game. I’m think’n I’d do a 6 pack of fatty tires.

  51. Comment by UltraRob | 01.14.2008 | 10:51 am

    Congratulations Fatty!

    As far as whether chamois butte is needed, I was well past 100 miles rides before I considered using chamois butter. Try a 500 mile and see if your opinion changes.

  52. Comment by leroy | 01.14.2008 | 11:21 am

    You spent all that money for rollers and you can’t coast?

    Don’t worry. I can help you out.

    Get a tread mill. Put your bike on facing backwards. Voila! Coast all you want.

    Heck, if you affix a recumbent to the treadmill and place a tray table next to it with chips and dip, you can snack away while watching TV and it hardly feels like work at all.

  53. Comment by Eldon D Brown | 01.14.2008 | 12:24 pm

    Is that an Ibis you are riding?

  54. Comment by Bluenoser | 01.14.2008 | 12:57 pm

    Fatty, Lance has the money. Go to the calf on the leg with the bum tendon. That’s the sore tendon on your ankle not your Bum Tendon. Good luck finding that one. Put your thumbs together and push in on your calf starting just below the knee working down.

    You’ll hit a spot that will be as painful as hell. Thats the trigger point. Massage that for about 20 seconds about 6 times a day and no more tendon pain.

    Trust me… millions don’t.


  55. Comment by fatty | 01.14.2008 | 1:51 pm

    eldon – yes it is. by the way, you spell your name wrong.

    ultrarob – you make a good point. i should say that i don’t ever need chamois butter for the distances i ride.

  56. Comment by Lyne | 01.14.2008 | 1:59 pm

    Okey doke, donation sent. I knew you’d do it, and since you did it with so much flair (okay maybe not), I increased the amount of the donation. Email sent to fatty.

    Major kudos

  57. Comment by flossy | 01.14.2008 | 2:34 pm

    That’s just insane. I can’t believe you can write so much about going nowhere! Didn’t get a bet organised but a donation is now made and copy of reciept on way to add to the total.

  58. Comment by rexinsea | 01.14.2008 | 3:08 pm

    Google maps has you going across your house so you must have really been riding hard to bump along your basement that far.

    I don’t know what is more impressive, 100 miles on a trainer or riding the “swing shift” on a Friday night after a full week of work and family life. By Friday I’m happy to just make it home and stay awake long enough to send my kids to bed.

    I made good on my bet earlier today. Excellent cause and congratulations on a successful effort.

  59. Comment by Barbara | 01.14.2008 | 4:39 pm

    This is just the best post ever, in terms of getting a LOT out of going nowhere, making it supremely entertaining, and getting the readers involved in your little escapade. I loved it all – I didn’t bet, but I’ll send LAF some (more) money anyway!

  60. Comment by fatty | 01.14.2008 | 8:38 pm

    rexinsea – i admit, the “google maps” image is a photoshop i did. when i really input my address as both the to and from address, it didn’t show a start and end point the way i needed. i’m not above tweaking reality to suit my needs.

  61. Comment by Dobovedo | 01.14.2008 | 11:24 pm

    Awesome job! I guess I need to send Livestrong another $.83, since I figured 50 cents a mile and you went over 100.

    Your chart from the GPS showing movement of about 80 feet is hilarious.

    One chart you didn’t show – HR. I’d be curious if your experienced ‘heart rate creep’ with fatigue, or if it stayed steady as you slowed down after 40 miles. Mine definitely rises over time.

    I’m looking forward to my own indoor century next weekend. I use Spinervals 26.0, Hardcore 100. 5 hours at 20+ mph average with lots of steady state intervals, gear changes and even some standing/sprints. Me and 4 buddies to keep me company, makes the time go faster.

    Feel free to come to Ohio now that you are no longer an indoor century virgin!

  62. Comment by Clydesteve | 01.15.2008 | 10:01 am

    Well, done Fatty! I sent in my donation ahead of time, knowing you would win.

    I really liked the trip chart. I worked up a spreadsheet to do the calculations to prove that all of those course corrections average to zero…..


  63. Comment by Michael | 01.15.2008 | 12:19 pm

    The “swat” was genius. THank you, I couldnt stop laughing about that one.

  64. Comment by Judi | 01.16.2008 | 4:20 pm

    Good job!!

  65. Comment by Brian | 01.16.2008 | 4:36 pm

    Eldon, I am impressed. I have been riding rollers for 25 years (I’m on my fourth pair; I actually wore out the bearings in two; I’ve been using Kreitler for the last three years but really want the ones you have…). I’ve never ridden longer than two hours, but then I never thought about it until a co-worker informed me that “some nut” (his words, not mine) was planning on doing a 100-miler. I didn’t donate anything, but since I’m so impressed, I think I will talk my wife, Julie, into giving you a complimentary massage the next time she visits Susan.

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