10.13.2010 | 11:07 am
Each year, as the leaves begin to fall, my weight begins to climb. I have many good reasons for this annual phenomenon, all of which share the common theme of blaming something besides my exercising less, while eating more.
This year, however, things will be different. This year I have noticed the warning signs early. In early September, for example, I noticed that I was tending to wear my bigger jerseys, just because they fit a little more comfortably. In mid-September I noticed that I consistently had good reasons to go on rides that have less climbing. In late September, I noticed that my knees squoosh into my gut when I pedal.
Subtle hints to be sure, but I am a very observant person.
Armed with knowledge of what had happened and what would — if left unchecked — continue to happen, I have created a plan to nip this problem in the bud. Specifically, I have created a weight loss plan to carry me through the rest of this year.
But this is no ordinary weight loss plan. No. This is a plan that takes into account the realities of life. It is a practical plan. One that I can — and will — follow.
Week of October 4
This was the week immediately preceeding Levi’s GranFondo. A hectic week, and I really didn’t have much time to get to the grocery store to buy lots of fresh vegetables and fruit. Plus, I knew that I’d be going to Santa Rosa on Thursday and that it would be practically impossible for me to eat well during the next few days.
Still, I’d be going on a long, demanding road bike ride on Saturday, and that would be a great starting point for me to begin the next week. I would establish and hold to good eating habits and get on track to having lost the ten pounds I’d like to have off by the time I go to NYC for the NYC Marathon.
Net Weight Change: + 2 pounds
Week of October 11
Of course, following the GranFondo, I was completely ravenous for about three days, and who could blame me? I was replenishing my depleted energy stores. Not to mention rehydrating.
Sure, there are probably better ways to rehydrate than drinking a gallon of chocolate milk per day, but after all, there’s lots of research that shows chocolate milk is an excellent recovery drink. So I wasn’t being a glutton; I was recovering.
By the time I got to Wednesday (today), I felt pretty much recovered. There’s just one little problem, though: the kids have the next two days off of school, so today we’re loading up the family into the minivan (yes I own a minivan, shaddup) and heading to Southern CA for a vacation to Magic Mountain.
And honestly, can anyone really expect me to successfully diet while at an amusement park? No. It’s impossible. I may as well loosen my figurative belt (figurative because I never actually wear belts)and just enjoy myself. I’ll start dieting Monday. And I’m going to be hardcore about it.
Net Weight Change: + 2 pounds
Week of October 18
I’ll get home just in time to get caught up on work for a few days, then I’m off to Austin for the LiveStrong Challenge / Ride for the Roses. I’ve been there before and know that while we’re all ostensibly gathered to ride and celebrate the good work we’ve done fundraising, it’s actually a three-day food fest.
Besides, I’ll be hanging out with Team Fatty, and that’s no time to diet; that’s a time to celebrate! Plus, one more week isn’t going to make any real difference in the grand scheme of things.
Net Weight Change: + 2.5 pounds
Week of October 25
From Austin, I’ll be flying to Chicago for work for four days. It’ll be an intense four days of work, broken up only by lunch being brought in (I love sandwiches and potato salad!), and then late-night dinners together with coworkers. I’ll need to be at the top of my mental game that week, and I can’t think clearly when I’m hungry (and don’t even get me started on how grouchy I can get).
I’ll get home on late night Thursday, and then it’s trick-or-treating with the kids on Saturday. I know myself well enough that I realize that if I start dieting on Friday and make myself all hungry right before Halloween where there’s candy everywhere, I’ll just pig out worse on Halloween and will — paradoxically, I guess — gain more weight because I dieted than if I hadn’t dieted at all.
So I’ll wait ’til the next week to start dieting.
Net Weight Change: + 3 pounds
Week of November 1
A quick few days at home, and then The Runner and I fly to NYC for the NYC Marathon. At this point, starving myself is counterproductive. I need to carbo-load for the race.
Seriously, I’ll start dieting right after this marathon.
Net Weight Change: +1.5 pounds
Week of November 8
I really do diet this week. And I’m good about it five days out of seven.
Net Weight Change: -2.8 pounds
Week of November 15
My success of the previous week goes to my head and I gather a false confidence: it’s not so hard to lose weight after all! I begin to back off on my clearly-over-regimented diet.
Then, on November 17, I get LASIK surgery, and my exercise plan falls apart. I lie in bed for a couple of days, milking my minor eye irritation for all its worth. And I eat my body weight in cheese-fries.
Net Weight Change: +2.8 pounds
Weeks of November 22 – December 31
You know what? The holidays are here. Trying to lose weight during this time of year is like pushing water uphill.
But starting January 2, I am going to lose weight. Seriously. No matter what.
Net Weight Change: +5.6 pounds
Total Net Weight Change: 16.6 pounds
Conclusion
I have high confidence that I can make this plan happen. In fact, I’ve already got a good start on it.
Comments (44)
10.11.2010 | 9:57 am
You know how when you have a cold, your brain slows down to the speed of molasses (that’s not fast)? And things that normally wouldn’t annoy you, do? And you just want to lay down and sleep, and then watch some TV? And then maybe sleep some more?
Yeah, that’s how I am right now.
Right around mile 65 or so of Levi’s GranFondo last Saturday, I started feeling a scratchiness in the back of my throat. By the time I was back in the hotel and showered, my eyes were watery and itchhy.
And now I sound like Darth Vader when I breathe.
My point is that right now I wouldn’t be able to do justice to the awesomeness of the Levi’s GranFondo weekend, and I do want to do it justice. So I’d like to ask for your patience for a day. Tomorrow (or Wednesday at the latest if this cold is worse than I think it is) I’ll have a story and a video — yes, I wore the helmetcam for the whole ride.
Meanwhile, here are a couple of pictures from the trip:
This is me leaning against a redwood tree in Armstrong Forest. This is the first time I’d ever seen redwoods in person. I was awestruck at their enormity, not to mention beauty. So, as you can expect, I was quite embarrassed when — after having this photo taken — I accidentally pushed this tree over. I am quite strong.
The Gran La Fonda Handbuilt Bicycle Show — the evening before the ride — was a blast, from seeing beautiful steel handbuilt bikes to gawking at the gargantuan pedal-powered monstrosities to meeting and chatting with the author of Red Kite Prayer.
It was also at the Handbuilt Bicycle Show that Sean of Soulcraft gave me this, my favorite new bumper sticker. Obviously, I will apply it to Kenny’s truck as soon as humanly possible.
I’ve always been of the opinion that every natural setting has its own beauty, but there’s something extraordinary about riding along the coast. The weather was perfect, the course was breathtakingly beautiful, and the support was unbelievably good.
This was — honestly — one of the most enjoyable days I’ve ever had on a road bike.
Details soon. I’m going back to bed now.
Comments (25)
10.9.2010 | 4:12 pm
The Runner and I are currently looking at the ocean and eating a cheese Danish at the mile 75 rest stop of Levi’s Gran Fondo. It’s sunny, 75 degrees and perfect for an epic road ride. Biking doesn’t get any better than this. For real.
Comments (17)
10.8.2010 | 9:32 am
The night started off so pleasantly. Really, it did. Somehow, I managed to get an invitation to the Festa del Fondo — a posh dinner and auction benefiting the really excellent causes Levi’s GranFondo is getting behind.
Oh, sure, I clowned around a little bit. For example, when I got the chance to inspect the Team RadioShack-edition Trek Madone frame that was going up for auction, I licked the top tube.
Also, I kept demanding larger portions of each course during the meal, and I suppose I may have been asking for unacceptable condiments (mayo, ketchup, fry sauce, Thousand-Island dressing) for my food.
And I wore the artfully-folded napkin as a hat.
But — by and large — I acted downright respectable. Apart from immediately posting what was supposed to be an off-the-record announcement, I mean.
Everything Goes Sideways
So, like everyone else, I wanted to get my picture taken with Levi. I figured it would be fine. I mean, he was smiling and being friendly with everyone. The perfect host.
Sure, I was a little nervous. After all, I’ve recently posted a recap of most of the Levi-related stuff I’ve put on this blog.
But — surely — he wouldn’t have seen that. Or if he had, he’d have realized I was just kidding around. Ha ha. Right?
So I went up and got a picture with Levi.
See? All smiles. (Interesting side note: Levi and I are exactly the same height, but I weigh 50% more.)
And then. And then. From nowhere. This:
Leipheimer just puts me in a headlock and starts wailing on me. Pops me in the ear. Then in the nose. Then he starts giving me a noogie.
Check the closeup:
I am freakin’ terrified, and he’s just laughing his head off. You can see how much pleasure he’s taking in — literally — busting my chops.
“Listen, Nelson (people who are angry and deadly serious always call each other by their last names),” Levi said. “You deserved that.”
“Yeah, I guess I did,” I blubbered.
Levi continued. “But that’s just a small sample of what’s coming your way if you don’t raise $10,000 with all the stuff I’m donating. My own personal bike, autographed, for pity’s sake. And so much autographed GranFondo gear my wrists are cramping.”
“Yeah, it’s great stuff,” I agreed. “It is. I’ll do another post. My readers are good for it. They’ll help out. Just…please…let me go.”
Leipheimer released me and I took the first full breath of air I’d had in five minutes. Sweet freedom.
“I’m watching you,” Leipheimer said.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “Everything’s cool.” Although, to tell the truth, I felt distinctly uncool. And also like I needed to change my pants.
Please, Help Me
So, Fat Cyclist readers, I’m begging you. Save me from Levi Leipheimer, the most ferocious cycling pro in America. You could win Levi’s personal Trek Top Fuel, tricked out and signed by Levi himself. Or you could win a custom-painted GranFondo helmet. Or any of a whole pile of cool GranFondo clothes.
And Levi’s said he’ll sign it all. Provided his hands aren’t too sore from mercilessly pounding my skull.
Read here for pictures and details of what you could win, and then donate today.
Please. I’m begging you.
Comments (21)
10.7.2010 | 11:10 pm
The Runner says this is delicious, but I don’t know what it is and nobody will let me put fry sauce on it.
Help.
PS: Scoop: The 2012 Tour of California starts from Santa Rosa. You heard it here first. Take THAT, VeloNews.
Comments (21)
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