SOLD OUT: 5th Annual 100 Miles of Nowhere!
A 10:43am (MT) Update: THE 100 MILES OF NOWHERE IS NOW COMPLETELY FILLED. ALL 500 SLOTS ARE TAKEN. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REGISTERED.
I am now disconnecting the links to the registration pages.
An 8:45am (MT) Update: The 100 Miles of Nowhere is now 3/4 full. I’m going to go out on a limb and project it will sell out within the hour. In other words, register now or you may not get the chance.
A 7:40am (MT) Update: I’m astonished to say that half the entries have already sold! If you don’t sign up within the next couple hours, chances are this will sell out before you get a chance to register.
I have never ever ever (ever!) been so excited for The 100 Miles of Nowhere. For one thing, I think this year has the most awesome event t-shirt ever.
For another thing, I love how we’re getting ultra-specific about who we’re fundraising for — LiveStrong’s support of Camp Kesem (more on that in a minute).
And for one more thing, I’m excited about the cool swag you’ll get as part of registering — along with a very interesting new way you might be surprised with something surprisingly valuable in your swag box.
So let’s get started with what you can expect this year in the 100 Miles of Nowhere.
What Is The 100 Miles of Nowhere?
The 100 Miles of Nowhere is a race without a place. It’s an event in which hundreds of people participate . . . all by ourselves. (Or with a friend. Or with 20 friends.)
It’s a very strange thing where you pay $89.95 (plus shipping) for the privilege of riding your rollers, trainer, or a very small course (like around the block or up and down a hill) for 100 miles. And then the profits from your entry (i.e., $70 per entry) go to LiveStrong, which will turn around and give that same amount to Camp Kesem — camps all across the U.S. dedicated to giving kids of parents with cancer a week of carefree fun, at no cost to them.
I did the first 100 Miles of Nowhere by myself, back before I knew it would be annual at all. The second one a bunch of us — from all around the world — did together, and people sent in their stories, many of which I published here.
In the third and fourth years, the 500 available spots sold out in no time, and for a few days, I posted a new story from a reader every couple of hours. I plan to carry on that tradition this year, as well.
This year, the “official” date of the race is Saturday, June 2. It used to be more of a winter-y event, but nowadays it’s in late Spring, due to the fact that more and more people are taking the 100 Miles of Nowhere outside and making it a fun, strange thing to do with friends, rather than a solitary form of torture you inflict upon yourself and the time is whenever is convenient for you.
And, thanks to the flexibility of the event — i.e., it’s just you, really — if June doesn’t work for you, you can do it another day.
Like in October, if you feel like it. Or later this afternoon if you just don’t have anything else to do. It’s your call, really.
And also, the “100 Miles” part is more of a guideline than a rule. For example, if you would rather ride 50 miles, that’s fine with me. So is 25. One person wrote me asking if he she could walk 100K — and of course the answer was, “You bet, and please take pictures and send me a writeup of your story.”
Or if you’re a runner and you want to do a marathon on the treadmill, that would be awesome. If you’re a swimmer, swim five miles. I’m not picky.
And of course, the very best thing about the 100 Miles of Nowhere is that you are going to win your division. You just need to make sure your division is specific enough that there’s no chance anyone else is in it.
And once you’ve won your division, send me the story of what your 100 Miles of Nowhere was like. I pick my favorite write-ups and publish them here in the blog. In fact, for a week or so after the event, I generally put up several stories per day.
Weirdly, the 100 Miles of Nowhere has become an odd community event, even though we all do it alone.
What You Get
One of the great things about the 100 Miles of Nowhere is that you’re not just making a donation. Nosirree. When preparing for this fundraiser, I bring my superpower of asking people for stuff to full force, and then I include that stuff in the swag box registered racers get.
And this year, the swag box is almost tragically wonderful.
Twin 6: The Shirt
I’ve already shown you the most important part of the swag box — the Twin Six-designed t-shirt, but let’s take a closer, bigger look, just because I love it so much:
I love that the rider’s riding a trainer with the wheels made of the zeroes. I love that he’s wearing the Fat Cyclist kit. I love that the roads go all over the place and wind up . . . nowhere.
I just love this shirt (which would retail for $24). Love it.
Twin Six: $16 Gift Certificate
As if the shirt and fulfillment weren’t enough, Twin Six is stepping up their game this year by including a $16 gift certificate in the swag box. Yep, $16 to spend just like cash on any Twin Six item in the online store, at any time. That’ll be enough to buy a small or sale item outright, or to make another item even more affordable.
Those Twin Six guys: could they be any more awesome? (answer: no)
Specialized: 26oz Purist Bottles with Watergate Cap (Two of ‘Em!)
I used to sell and use Camelbak bottles. And then I tried the new Specialized Purist bottles, with the Watergate caps.
And since then, those are the only bottles I use (or sell). They are simply, without question, the best bottles I have ever used. So easy to open and close. So easy to get water out of them. They squeeze so easily.
And for this year’s 100 Miles of Nowhere, registered racers will get two of the big (26oz) version of the Purist bottle with the Watergate cap. The bottles will be white, and the caps will be black, just like you see at right. However, the 100 Miles of Nowhere logo will be on the bottles, making them much less plain, and much more awesome.
So why two of these bottles? Well, because two is twice as good as one, for one thing.
For another thing, I have this thing about using mismatched bottles when I ride (especially on the road). I like the bottles to match — it just looks better. Like Garanimals for your bike.
For a third thing, I originally did ask Specialized for just one bottle per registered racer. But then I found out that Specialized really likes doing kid-centered charity work. And as it turns out, this is a kid-centered fundraiser. So I called them back and asked them to double up.
And they said yes. Because they’re awesome. And probably a little bit because I told them how much I love their bottles, and I can be just adorable when I get all effusive.
Plus, when once you see and use these bottles, you’re not going to want to use any other bottles, ever again.
These bottles retail at $12.00 each, so this is a $24 value, if my math is correct (and it is).
Honey Stinger Waffles + Discount
It’s possible that I’ve mentioned — once or twice before, in passing — how much I love Honey Stinger Waffles, and how I would eat nothing but them, ever, if left to my own devices.
Perhaps you have tried them, in which case perhaps your opinion doesn’t vary that much from mine.
Or perhaps you haven’t tried them, and kind of wish you could, so that you could get an idea of what it is I’m going on about.
So here’s your chance.
Each registered user will get two (count ‘em, two) Honey Stinger Waffles in their swag box.
You’re going to get a mix of the original Honey flavor, the Vanilla flavor (my favorite), and the Strawberry flavor (The Hammer’s favorite).
Which two flavors will you get? You won’t know ’til you open your swag box. But that’s cool, because all three flavors are great.
Oh, and to sweeten the deal, registered participants will get a super-secret exclusive discount code for a 25% discount on any Honey Stinger products you buy from the Honey Stinger shop between now and June 10.
That’s a pretty incredible deal on its own. For example, if you bought $100,000 worth of Honey Stinger products, it would have a value of $25,000.
Wow. It makes your head spin, doesn’t it?
Bike Monkey: Magazine, Subscription Offer, and Race Plate
Bike Monkey, the remarkable race promoters and magazine publisher responsible for Levi’s Gran Fondo are back for an encore with this year’s 100 Miles of Nowhere.
Like last year, they’ll be providing the oversized official race plate. Like last year, they’ll be including a sample issue of their incredibly readable Bike Monkey magazine.
And like year, they’ll be providing a killer discount subscription deal to registered riders of the 100 Miles of Nowhere.
As someone who has recently contributed to Bike Monkey and hopes to be invited back, I recommend it strongly.
An issue of BikeMonkey sells for about $1.50, but frankly I think it’s worth a bunch more, entertainment value-wise.
[Interesting Bonus BikeMonkey Fact: The art director for BikeMonkey did the cover design and layout for my first book, Comedian Mastermind. The editorial director edited it.]
Banjo Brothers: A Variety of Awesome Things to 50 People
This year, I’m conducting a little experiment with the 100 Miles of Nowhere Swag Box. While everyone gets a whole bunch of cool swag, 20% of the people — every fifth registered person, to be exact — will get something of higher value.
This year, half of the lucky 20% will get something cool from my longest-running sponsors: Banjo Brothers, who have been with me before pretty much anyone knew this blog exists.
Here’s the 50 things that Banjo Brothers has given me to hand out, along with their retail value:
- 5 Large Backpacks (waterproof) ($90 ea)
- 5 Medium Waterproof Backpacks ($80 ea)
- 5 Canvas and Leather Shoulder Bags (Minnehaha) ($70 ea)
- 5 Waterproof Saddle Trunks ($50 ea)
- 10 Top Tub Bags ($15 ea)
- 10 Deluxe Mini Seat Bags ($16 ea)
- 10 03010 Deluxe Small Bags ($18 ea)
Not too shabby, eh? You’ve got a one-in-ten chance of getting one of these, which are better odds than you’ll get in Vegas. I think (I don’t actually know anything about odds or gambling).
In addition to this, you’ll get a coupon for a great deal on Banjo Brothers gear, and they’ll donate the profits for the sale to LiveStrong.
The Banjo Brothers rock.
O2 Rainwear: The Original Cycling Jacket
You know, I should really visit Minneapolis sometime, because with O2 Rainwear joining fellow Minneapolisians Twin Six and Banjo Brothers, a full three of the companies sponsoring the 100 Miles of Nowhere this year are HQ’d in in Minn.
I can’t help but imagine Minneapolis is just chock full of great people who like bikes and doing the right thing.
Anyways.
The O2 Rainwear is donating 50 of their Original Cycling Jacket (retail $34.95) for the 100 Miles of Nowhere. Which means that between O2 Rainwear and Banjo Brothers, your chances of getting a cool higher-value item is 1 in 5. Not shabby at all.
And the jacket is great to have on hand, too. It’s waterproof, breathable, extremely lightweight and compact, and stuffs small into a pack it comes with. It’s an awesome emergency rain jacket for any cyclist, and especially for commuters to keep in their pack.
DZ-Nuts : Samples of DZ Nuts and DZ Nuts Bliss
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you’re either a man or a woman.
Whichever you are, DZ Nuts has got you covered, chamois cream-wise.
The original — DZ Nuts — is formulated more for guys, while DZ Nuts Bliss is for women.
It doesnt matter which you are when you do the 100 Miles of Nowhere, though, because you get a sample pack of both.
And you know what? Maybe you should try both. Because — who knows — just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you won’t like the zestiness of the original DZ Nuts. And if you’re a guy, you may still prefer DZ Nuts Bliss.
Or if you are into predefined stereotypes and whatnot, you can just give the non-matching gender sample to someone else.
It’s your call.
Either way, Dave Zabriskie won’t judge you. That’s not his way.
And after 100 miles, I think you’re going to be mighty glad that you put one of the two on your chamois.
Or both, if that’s the way you like it.
As I have mentioned, we don’t judge.
Seriously, if you’re going to be riding your bike for 100 miles and not going anywhere while doing it, you should at least be protecting your junk. And as I have noted in my review, this is good stuff.
Musette Bakery : Bike-Ready Baked Goods
Musette Bakery recently contacted me, asking if I’d be interested in trying the region-inspired baked goods it creates specifically for cyclists, with each of their creations named after a famous cyclist from the region that inspired the product.
There’s the Lance. The Eddy. And the Bernie.
And they’re all good. Although the Lance — which is a little bit like a Pop-Tart, but homemade and about fifty times more delicious — is my favorite.
I should also go ahead and say that another reason I like the idea of Musette Bakery is because it’s a tiny startup business, and they’re doing good stuff, and I’d like to see them succeed.
I think once you try what they include in the 100 Miles of Nowhere Swag Box, you’ll be rooting for them too.
Camp Kesem
Check out these two dapper young men (one is Doug Ulman, CEO of LiveStrong, the other a beloved, award-winning blogger; I’ll let you figure out which is which) in the photo below:
What makes them so handsome? So distinguished-looking? So downright attractive? Could it be their fuzzy terry-cloth headbands that say “Camp Kesem?”
Why as a matter of fact, I think it just might be.
Since all of the profits from this 100 Miles of Nowhere is going to LiveStrong, and then shipped off to Camp Kesem in order to launch a new camp in Southern Utah and then pay for kids across the U.S. to be able to go to Camp Kesem (thus getting some much-needed catch-up time from the cares of being a kid with a parent who has cancer), it’s only fitting that registered racers for the 100 Miles of Nowhere get a Camp Kesem headband (I plan to proudly wear mine for the duration of my 100-mile ride, and you should too).
Hey, guess what? The above was the longest sentence in the history of this blog! Yay!
The fact is, I’ve seen firsthand that kids who have a parent with cancer tend to miss out on normal, fun childhood things. And Camp Kesem is a place where these kids can have a great time around other kids who understand what it’s like to have been through the “my mom / dad has cancer” experience.
I’m sending my twin 10-year-old girls to this new Southern Utah camp, so this 100 Miles of Nowhere feels kind of personal.
What You Should Do Now
[UPDATE: THE 100 REGISTRATION FOR THE 1OO MILES OF NOWHERE IS NOW COMPLETELY FULL. THANKS TO THOSE WHO REGISTERED!]
OK, so by now I’ve either convinced you to sign up for the 100 Miles of Nowhere, or I haven’t. If I haven’t, well, you can’t say I haven’t tried.
If, on the other hand, you’re ready to be one of the 500+ of us who go nowhere fast (or slow) on June 2 (or some other day), here’s what you’ve got to do:
- Sign up for the 100 Miles of Nowhere by pre-ordering your 100 Miles of Nowhere kit (this year’s kit is $89.95 + shipping).
- Start thinking about where you’re going to ride. And when if June 2 doesn’t work for you.
- If you’ve got an awesome idea of how you’re going to do your 100 Miles of Nowhere and want to share it, post a comment. Maybe you’ll inspire someone else. Crazier things have happened, right?
And if, by chance, you want to come to my neck of the woods to ride the 100 Miles of Nowhere this year, let me know by email; I’d love to have you along (a word of warning: my 100 Miles of Nowhere route is going to be kinda vertical).
Start getting ready to ride!
PS: For those of you who lost more than 3.47% of your weight as part of the weight loss challenge, I’ll be providing information on how to claim your entry tomorrow.
