07.3.2012 | 7:38 am
A Note from Fatty: The 2013 FatCyclist kit pre-order begins Monday. Whether you want to show of that you’re part of Team Fatty or just like letting the world know that you are as exactly as likely to be eating pie as riding your bike, I highly recommend that you prepare to place an order.
I’ll be giving little hints throughout the week as to what you can expect from the new design. Today’s, though, may be the most revealing: Pink is back. As, obviously, is black. I’ll let you speculate as to what part of the jersey I’m showing is, though.
As always, Twin Six and I offer FatCyclist gear primarily as a get-it-while-you-can thing. If you don’t pre-order it, chances are you’re going to do without. So you might want to go ahead and get out that fancy smart phone of yours and set yourself a reminder to come back here Monday.
During the rest of this week, expect more sneak peeks into the design of the 2013 offering, as well as what items will be available as part of the 2013 kit.
Be Faster Than Me, Get a T-Shirt That Proves It
My relationship with riding bicycles is very simple: I love it. Mountain biking, road biking, track, cyclocross. Other kinds (like BMX and — why not? — recumbents) which I haven’t tried yet, too. I like them all. Simple.
My relationship with triathlon is . . . well, more complicated. If you’re one of the three or four (depending on whether my mom could get her dial-up modem working that day) people who read this blog back when it was very young, you might read that I once wrote a ridiculously provocative open letter to triathletes, imploring them to all stop it and try something else.
Later, I would make an outrageous, unfounded claim: that without really training, I could do an Ironman. Which, eventually, led to me being called out on the carpet, as it were, and I did an actual Ironman. After which I swore I would never do another triathlon.
Except, of course, I did an Xterra race last summer. And I did the local Turkey Tri last autumn.
Apart from those two, though, I’m totally done with Tri. Just through with it. Except, of course, I’m really not.
And you’re not, either.
In fact, I think you might want to join me in the next Tri I do. And if you — or your team — is faster than I am on the bike leg of the race, you’ll get a t-shirt that will make you the envy of the western world. Or something like that.
Meet the Life Time Leadman Tri Epic 250
You may know that I have something like an obsession with the Leadville 100. As in, I’ve done it fifteen times and am signed up to do it my sixteenth time about a month from now.
Well, Life Time Fitness, the company that puts on that race, recently got ahold of me and asked, “Hey, you want to try something a little different, but still ridiculously hard, and in a really amazing place?”
“OK,” I said, without even asking what it was I had just agreed to.
Well, it turns out that Life Time is promoting a new triathlon series, called The Leadman Tri Epic 250.
The first one, this year, will be raced in Bend, Oregon. Check out the distances, and you’ll see where the “epic” part comes in:
- 5k Swim (that’s 3.1 miles), as opposed to a mere 3.86k swim in iron-distance triathlons.
- 223k Bike Ride (138.5 miles), as opposed to a childish 112 miles in iron-distance races.
- 22k run (13.7 miles), which is just over half the length of the run in iron-distance races.
You see how that’s kind of interesting? A longer swim, a much longer ride, but a shorter run than an iron-distance triathlon.
Why? Well, for a pretty good reason, actually. A lot of people have great endurance and would love to prove it in a big ol’ race, but don’t want to put up with the incredibly debilitating pounding that a full marathon delivers to your body.
Plus — kinda like the Leadville 100 — if you can finish this event in under eleven hours, you get to bring home a nice little souvenir:
OK, as the owner of a few kinda cool belt buckles, I have to say: that’s a pretty darned awesome personal trophy.
But I still haven’t talked about the “Faster than Fatty” t-shirt yet, have I? OK, I’m about to.
How To Get A T-Shirt I Do Not Want You To Have
When Life Time told me about this race, I had to admit that I wasn’t ready to do the whole thing, and — especially with the huge bike-centric race schedule I’ve got set for myself this year — there was no way I was going to get to the point where I could do the whole race.
“That’s OK,” they said. “We have a cool relay category (all proceeds from this category go to the Boys and Girls Club of Central OR, by the way), too. Put together a team, and race that way.”
Of course, it took me exactly 3/1000ths of a second (should’ve taken less, but I’m not as quick as I used to be) to figure out who Team Fatty will be at the Leadman Tri:
Yep, I will once again participate in a triathlon with The Hammer (my wife, who is no slouch at running) and The Swimmer (The Hammer’s daughter, who is a star on her high school swim team).
But this time, we’ll be working together.
Oh, and if you manage to beat my time on the bike leg of the race (that’s your bike split time, and doesn’t include transition to or off the bike), you can win another little trophy you might want to show off to your friends. Here’s the front:
And here’s the back:
The Hammer and The Swimmer have each indicated that they want one of these t-shirts. But they don’t get them.
There’s only one way to get this shirt: do the Leadman Tri: be faster than I am on the bike leg of this race. You can do this either by yourself — doing the whole Leadman Tri — or as part of a relay team.
Sign Up, Get a Big Ol’ Discount
Of course, in order to win, you’ve got to race. And in order to race, you’ve got to sign up. So here’s where you go to get yourself to the registration page.
And when you sign up, be sure to use the code FattyShirt. That’s good for a whopping 40% discount on registration for the event (solo or relay, 250-mile or 125-mile distance).
Then, once you’ve done that, click here to register yourself as officially entered in the “Faster than Fatty” challenge (don’t worry, it doesn’t cost anything extra to try to beat me).
And then let me know what I’m in for when we race each other. You don’t actually have to do that part, but I’m interested in exactly how scared I should be.
I look forward to either beating you or being beaten by you in Bend on Sept 22.
PS: The folks at Life Time have put out a little press release about this little “Faster than Fatty” challenge:
Are you “FASTER THAN FATTY”? Prove it in Bend, OR on Sept 22.
Elden “Fatty” Nelson has developed one of the most heavily trafficked cycling blogs in the world. He’s cultivated an army of devoted readers and fans. Now, he’s daring every one of them to beat him on the bike at LeadmanTri in Bend, OR on Sept 22.
Fatty will be completing the 223k bike leg in a relay of this epic first-year event (his partners will be completing a 5k swim and a 22k run).
Through this unique promotion, anyone that beats Fatty’s bike split will be able to wear the accomplishment on their sleeve – literally. These lucky few will be awarded a “Faster than Fatty” limited edition t-shirt.
Now, if anyone has seen Fatty in the Leadville 100 MTB movie, Race Across the Sky, we all know he’s fast… on dirt. Well, we’re about to see how that translates on pavement against an army of triathletes and roadies now gunning for his shirt.
While LeadmanTri Bend features a Half (125k) distance, the offer is only available to solo and relay participants in the Full (250k) distance.
Sign up for the “Faster than Fatty” Challenge will be available to participants via LeadmanTri.com and Fatcyclist.com.
So…I guess this is for real now. Guess I ought to start training or something.
Comments (40)
07.2.2012 | 7:14 am
Hi, I’m overloaded with pressing family stuff today. I’ll be back either tomorrow (Tuesday) or Wednesday.
I’m guessing Wednesday.
Comments (23)
06.29.2012 | 9:04 am
A Note from Fatty: The Utah Tour de Donut is July 7: a week from tomorrow. This is one of my favorite events of the year, for a lot of reasons. First, because it plays to my strengths: riding bikes and eating donuts. Check out my race writeups from 2010 and 2011 to see what I mean.
Second, because it is put on by the American Fork Rotary Club, which seems to have adopted me as their mascot or something (no, I’m not a member of the Rotary Club). Last year, for example, they used the proceeds of this fundraiser to buy a blanket warmer for the cancer center at the hospital Susan went to for treatment.
This year, they’re using the proceeds to go toward World Bicycle Relief, as well as to build a new trail connecting Lambert Park with Corner Canyon.
Both of these causes are awesome.
So. If you’re local, like bicycles, like to eat, like silliness, like helping kids in Zambia have a shot at a better life, and like seeing more local trails, why don’t you come race the Tour de Donut?
It’s insane. And wonderful. You’ll have a great time, and you’ll be doing good things, both locally and far away.
Click here to register now.
Musings on 2012 Tour de France Contenders on a Calm Summer Morning
The 2012 Tour de France approaches
What shall I think?
For whom shall I cheer?
How can I not know how each stage ends
Afore — perchance — I get to see it myself?
Bradley Wiggins is the toast of the Tour
He is expected to win by all and sundry
Phil and Paul have cried tears of joy
Over the prospect of the rapture
They predict and pray for
Alone in his hotel room
Cadel Evans sulks and frets
“I am the reigning champion!”
He confides to his pillow
“Perhaps I have given cause for concern”
“Perhaps I have not been at my best”
“But should I be truly relegated to ‘also appearing’ status?”
Dissonance
Not far away
And yet far far away
Another man is lonely
For he misses his brother
“How shall I race without my brother?”
He wonders aloud
To all and sundry
Other racers look on
Uncomprehending
“You know, the rest of us race without siblings all the time.”
Chris Horner looks on
Amused and bemused
And enigmatic as hell
All simultaneously
Though he would never use those words
He had been out
And now he is in
Almost as if by magic
And, magically, leading the team
Kinda
Sorta
The pile of Snickers wrappers accumulates
That dude’s going to have to watch his weight when he retires
By way of contrast
Levi Leipheimer
Eats a teaspoon of rice
Specially prepared
And seasoned just so
“100ish kilometers of time trials sounds good”
He says calmly, even as his heart is about to burst
“Real good.”
Then he punches a passerby in the throat
Just because he can
Oh, let us not forget
Vincenzo Nibali
Who has done magnificently
At shooting himself in the foot
For why would a team
Put their heart and soul
Behind a rider who is halfway out the door
When they could instead
Get behind a young man named Sagan
Who has had some modest success in the sprints
As of late
But what of the others?
For are there not others with prospects?
With hopes?
With dreams?
Like Sánchez?
No, I’m sorry, he has no chance
For he is on Euskaltel-Euskadi
And is therefore tradition-bound to do well on one stage
And then discombobulate
Utterly
Completely
And what of Denis Menchov?
Nobody seems to talk about him
Which seems to suit him just fine
Because really
Why would a proven rider
With multiple Grand Tour victories
And a gift for the Time Trial
On a Time Trial-heavy course
be considered a Tour favorite?
Nothing to see here
Move along
Move along
Thank you
Comments (43)
06.28.2012 | 6:42 am
What is the correct course of action one should take when one has a chronic pain? One that seems to be intensifying as time goes on? A pain that one has no explanation for, although one has one’s suspicions?
Well, one could go to a doctor, and get professional advice and help.
Or, one could crowdsource the diagnosis to one’s friends on the Internet.
Ooooh. I like that second option.
Here’s What’s Going On
This is me, pointing to where I hurt:
It’s possible that I’m mugging it up a little bit as I point to where I hurt, because I want to convey exactly how serious and painful my ache is.
It’s also possible that I’m not doing a very good job, in this photo, of pointing to where I hurt. So let me zoom in and circle the affected area and stuff:
It’s not my elbow, as you can see. It’s that area right beside my elbow. Just on my right arm.
It hurts a lot. And it’s been hurting worse lately.
When It Hurts
Now, this thing doesn’t hurt all the time. Like right now, for example. It doesn’t hurt at all when I’m just sitting here, typing. I’m just fine right now.
But here’s when it does hurt:
- When I fully extend my arm (pain fades after a moment, though)
- When I pivot my wrist, side-to-side
- When anything hits this area, like at all
- When I hang from a pull-up bar
- When I twist my arm clockwise, so my palm is facing up
- When I’m kickboxing
OK, I made up the one about kickboxing, but the rest are accurate.
When It Doesn’t Hurt
The reason I haven’t been to doctor to look at this sometime during the past month or two that this has been hurting increasingly badly has something to do with a key time this does not hurt:
- When I am riding on my bike
That’s right. This doesn’t hurt when I’m riding seated or standing, or even on a mountain bike with a rigid fork.
It’s just fine, in fact.
And yet, since riding is pretty much the main thing I do, exercise-wise, I worry that biking somehow has something to do with this.
A Description of the Pain
I would describe this pain as a sharp pain. I might describe it as a sharp stabbing pain, but I’ve never been stabbed. I would also not describe it as a sharp shooting pain for the same reason. I.e., that I’ve never been shot, not that I’ve never been stabbed.
An Appeal for Answers
So, now that you know what is going on with me, I’d like you — if you are the kind of person who knows this kind of thing (such as a doctor, or a nurse, or an insufferable know-it-all) — to tell me what’s going on, and what my options are (and especially the good options) for doing about it.
I look forward to your assistance.
Comments (100)
06.27.2012 | 9:56 am
Today’s post isn’t about me. At least, not very much. Today’s post is about The Hammer, and the day she had yesterday.
Because it was a pretty full day.
Event 1: Hiking a Mountain
The day started with a hike to the top of “Y” Mountain — a seven-mile hike with 3000 feet of climbing she’s done as a long-standing tradition each month with her eighty-year-old dad.
She texted me — as I sat at my desk, working — this from the top of the mountain:
So yeah, I was a little bit jealous of how her day started.
Event 2: Lunch With The Folks
After the hike, she drove her dad back to his home and had lunch with her mom and dad. After a quick shower there, she then drove over to a clinic, where she had an appoointment to have a basal cell carcinoma removed.
It was at that point that I stopped being jealous of how her day was going.
Event 3: Surgery
The way they remove the carcinoma is to cut out what they think is all of it, then have you sit around while the pathology lab verifies that they’ve got everything out. If so, they sew you up. If not, they cut more out and repeat.
The Hammer was lucky (or maybe it’s nicer to say that the doctor is skilled); they got everything on the first pass. I arrived at the clinic right as the doctor was sewing her up.
I did my absolute best to not look squeamish, but from the distance I was sitting I couldn’t see the thread for the stitches, and so it would look — from time to time — as if the side of her face was, of its own accord, suddenly stretching out into thin air.
That weirded me out. Meanwhile, the whole time, The Hammer chatted and joked.
They bandaged her up pretty thoroughly, but you couldn’t really see anything, thanks to a strategically concealing hairdo.
This photo is actually from today, with a bandaid in place instead of the massive pile of gauze and tape originally on her face. But you still get the idea.
Event 4: Store
I had come to the clinic to offer support and with the expectation that The Hammer would be in no shape to drive home, much less do anything else.
But as we headed home, The Hammer said, “This would be a good time for us to take care of some grocery shopping.”
So we did.
Event 5: House Cleaning
We then got home, and I encouraged The Hammer to go lay down and rest for a while, since that’s totally what I would have done. In fact, I would still be laying down right now.
The Hammer, however, said that this was her housecleaning day, and went to work on that while I headed into the basement to do my day job.
Event 6: The Ride
We made dinner together (Teriyaki salmon with dirty saffron rice and peas). The IT guy joined us, because after dinner — when the day had cooled down — we were planning on going on a mountain bike ride.
Yes, really.
“We’re just going to take it easy today, right?” I asked, thinking about the fact that The Hammer had already had one good workout that day, plus we had gone on a Strava QOM hunt for her the day before, netting her both a QOM / PR on the Hog Hollow climb (weirdly, no other woman has recorded a time on Hog Hollow; The Hammer has recorded dozens of times) and a QOM for the short-but-intense Brock’s uphill sprint.
Plus, of course, the day before that she had done a hard 96-mile road ride.
And in short, an easy ride seemed like the only sensible thing to do.
So — naturally — I was not at all surprised to see her sitting at the computer before we went. “I want to go after the Canyon Hollow – Brock’s climb.”
Have I mentioned that I have created a monster?
We started out, going relatively easy up Hog Hollow. Right from the beginning, though, The Hammer noted that her legs were tired.
“Gee, what a surprise,” I quipped. “I wonder why that could be.”
We then went down Rush, which is ordinarily one of my very favorite descents. But it’s a technical descent and not great to do as the sun gets low. Specifically, you will occasionally find yourself pretty high in the air before you even realize you just went off a jump.
I went on ahead, crashing one time, but managing to get myself and my bike together before anyone caught me.
As The Hammer and The IT Guy rolled down to the bottom of Rush, The Hammer remarked, “Blake critiqued my descending technique nonstop, the whole way down.”
You’d have to know The IT Guy a little to understand that this was likely not even a tiny bit of an exaggeration. I thought to myself, “Really, this was not the day for that.” But the Hammer / IT Guy dynamic is as unique as any mother / son relationship; I said nothing.
It was time for the main event: the two-mile, 696-foot climb from the bottom of Canyon Hollow to the Peak View trailhead.
The Hammer’s daily QOM Hunt was upon us.
Event 7: The Big Climb
The Canyon Hollow – Brock’s climb is two miles of really fantastic singletrack, climbing at a moderate 6.7% average grade (696 feet total of climbing). It’s one of my favorite ways to get to the Peak View trailhead in Corner Canyon, because it’s a mellower climb than Clark’s. Here’s what the elevation profile of this climb looks like:
Very even and steady. Get into your climbing groove and stay there. That said, when you climb at your limit, there’s no such thing as an easy climb.
My job during The Hammer’s QOM attempt was to stay about fifty feet or so ahead of her, where I served dual purposes:
- Be a rabbit she can chase
- Clear the path of slower riders by saying in a cheerful, loud voice as I approached them, “How’s it going?” This technique results in an almost 100% pull-over rate without me ever having to ask people to pull over to let us by.
I took on my job with relish, but The Hammer — whose job was to go as fast up the climb as she possibly could. And that “as fast as she possibly could” should ideally work out to be in under 16:45, the current QOM’s (Erika, not Erica) time — was not having fun.
Before we got even a third of the way up, she said to me, “I’m just pooped.”
“Just ride your best, don’t worry about whether you get the QOM today,” I said.
We came across Dug, who was riding the other direction with his son. Dug, immediately sensing what was going on, yelled at the top of his lungs, “Everyone clear the trail, she’s on a Strava!”
Dug’s a clown.
I plugged away, but could tell from the way she kept dropping back that The Hammer was tired. I checked my clock. It was going to be close.
Then she took a spill. She got up quickly and continued, but in my mind it was over; she wasn’t quite going to make it.
I pulled across the finish line, and then fifteen seconds later The Hammer came across, then immediately stopped and put her head on her handlebars.
“You’ve just done too much today,” I said.
“Don’t make excuses for me,” The Hammer replied, and started down Hog Hollow.
Completely exhausted, she went to bed as soon as she got home.
We didn’t even bother uploading the data from her GPS to Strava.
This Morning
The Hammer woke at 5:30 this morning, got ready for work as usual as I made her lunch (egg whites and avocados, of course). She was out the door by 6:15.
Then, after she left, I thought, “Well, I guess I’ll see how close she got,” and went to the garage to get The Hammer’s GPS.
Here’s what I saw:
She had done it. By fifteen seconds. Even after everything else — big hike, surgery, groceries, cleaning the house — she had still gotten her QOM fix.
And that is why she is The Hammer.
Comments (40)
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