I Do Not Blame Myself

09.1.2005 | 8:46 pm

As I biked to work today, my head was chockablock with troubling thoughts, all revolving around the following two facts:

  • I was cold. It was the first day of September, and I was cold. I shouldn’t be cold on the first day of September, even early in the morning. It’s still supposed to be Summer. I’ve been cheated out of 20 days of Summer!
  • I was fat. My weigh-in this morning showed that while I had managed to erase the pizza/chocolate chip cookie/fresh mozzarella hedonism of the previous day, I was still at 166.4 pounds.

It’s really the second point that’s got me bugged, although the first point is there for more reasons than simply to help me avoid having a single-item bullet list.


Hibernation Instinct

It’s getting dark earlier. It’s cold in the mornings. I have a nearly irresistible urge to eat as much as I possibly can, climb into a cave, and go to sleep. Pastry – which hasn’t interested me at all for about three months – suddenly sounds like the perfect food.

Historically, I know that every autumn I put on weight, some of which I will shed during spring and summer. This year, I’m betting money and dignity that I can buck this trend and lose weight, rather than obey the part of me that just…wants…to…sleep. The thing is, my weight trend for the past couple weeks shows that this isn’t happening. In fact, it looks like I’m all set to actually have a weight gain at the weekly weigh-in tomorrow.

I therefore choose to blame my weight gain on the season. I’m just working up my layer of winter blubber. Pure, unavoidable biology.


Weight Plateau

I’m now in the mid-160’s, which is the low end of where my weight naturally sits. Which means I’ve lost all the weight I’m going to easily lose. The easy combination of trimming my bad habits and exercising more has pretty much hit its limit. If I want to continue losing weight, I’m going to need to go from "No more chips after 6:00PM" to "No more chips."

My weight has hovered in the mid-160’s range for about a month now, so the fact that my weight isn’t going to drop in big leaps and bounds doing the simple things should have occurred to me by now. And yet it hasn’t. I blame you, dear reader, for not calling this to my attention. What do you think I’m paying you for? Well, evidently most of you believe your job is to tell me it’s easy to ride down a flight of stairs. And while that is certainly useful information that I’m happy to hear six or eight times per day, you’re going to have to do more if you expect a raise.


Tomorrow, This Blog Will Probably Cost Me

I’m going to need to lose 2.4 pounds by tomorrow’s weigh-in (possible, but not probable) or face giving someone a $75 amazon.com gift certificate. The temptation is to pay up, accept that it’s not easy to lose weight when it’s getting colder and I don’t have a big race ahead of me, and shut the sweepstakes down. But I’m not going to. I’ll either start losing weight again, or I’ll keep ponying up $25 / week.

That said, I’m eating reaaalllly light today.


Today’s Weight: 166.4lbs.




  1. Comment by Unknown | 09.1.2005 | 8:58 pm

    Fatty,Its not going to be cold from now on, quit whining. I hate it when you whine. It will get warm/cold/warm/cold for a while still. We may even have some outright hot weather again. Dude, you can lose wieght if you want, but you MUST wrap your fertile mind around the concept of healthier foods. C’mon, you already know this doncha? Cheetos are for chimps, I mean chumps. Real men eat salads and bananas and say they like those things. Buckle up. Be strong. Jim

  2. Comment by Fat Cyclist | 09.1.2005 | 9:16 pm

    jim, you’re not related to dug, are you?

  3. Comment by Unknown | 09.1.2005 | 9:44 pm

    Hey Fatty. Been following the blog for a while, and at 5′8" 178, I feel your pain. I think rigorous meal planning and training sche4dules are in order for the both of us. that should last the better part of 2 or 3 days, but hey, you have to stary somewhere. Hang in there! For the record, I had a protein shake with half a bannana and some blueberries this am, but blew it with a burger for lunch (It was PJ Clarke’s after all; no fries, but a big side of broccoli rabe instead). I need to get on the bike and do a video on the trainer tonight. Spinnervals Suffer-o-Rama, anyone? Hang in there!!

  4. Comment by Unknown | 09.1.2005 | 10:57 pm

    How far do you bike to work? I believe you burn more calories when your body is cold (shivering, trying to stay warm) Try biking to work on these cold days in your sleevless jersery, zipper down.

  5. Comment by Unknown | 09.1.2005 | 11:06 pm

    Dude now that your leaner, it just feels colder outside. No excuses!!

  6. Comment by Karunya | 09.1.2005 | 11:13 pm

    You want to lose 3 lbs in a day? Eat only watermelon and drink 8-10 glasses of water and watch the magic happen. If you dont lose 3 lbs doing that, I will give you a gift certificate to amazon.

  7. Comment by Fat Cyclist | 09.1.2005 | 11:45 pm

    i think i owe everyone an explanation on today’s post. i tried to be funny. i really did. but — at least to me — it’s pretty obvious that i’m not very funny here. if i were grading my post (and i mentally grade pretty much everything i do), i’d give it a C-. basically, i’m just preoccupied with / distressed about today’s (and yesterday’s) news. it’s bad enough that i can’t get it out of my head, and i couldn’t put it aside even long enough to write a couple funny paragraphs. i took a shot at it, but jimtserotta’s right: it comes off as whiney.

  8. Comment by Michael | 09.1.2005 | 11:50 pm

    Hey isn’t it a great time of year at the moment. Everythings becomming greener. The daylight hours are getting longer and longer. It’s getting warmer and warmer. Yep Sepember is a great time of year… …in the Southern hemisphere. :)(Sorry just had to share my spring cheer.)

  9. Comment by Michael | 09.2.2005 | 12:02 am

    Elden are you doing much climbing in your riding. Find a big arse mountain and go climbing for 30 minutes a week doing your best Lance Armstrong impression and really ramp up the effort and up that metabolism. You could either lose weight or get sick in which case you won’t feel like eating anyway!I love to pog out on crap foods too and I don’t think I’d ever be able to cut that out. I just try to eat less of it and give myself warm and fuzzies each time I eat something good. You can’t get fat on apples! Have fun riding down those stairs that are calling your name! Good luck!

  10. Comment by *Summer | 09.2.2005 | 3:25 am

    i love your blog. when i grow up i want to be just like the fat cyclist. except i won’t be fat. =)

  11. Comment by Ariane | 09.2.2005 | 3:39 am

    To show you my support, I am not going to post a comment today, that way if you don’t make your target at the weigh-in tomorrow, I won’t stand a chance at profit from your misfortune.Oh…wait a minute….

  12. Comment by Phil | 09.2.2005 | 4:18 am

    Fatty, you’re at the plateau alright. If you’ve never checked out South Beach Diet — yeah, it’s a fad diet, and if you call it South Park you might feel better about it — do so. If you follow the plan, you’ll drop 10 lbs in 2 weeks pretty easily, though you’ll need to ease up on your riding efforts or you’ll go into an energy hole. But the results are there and it’s easy to live with. Shameless infomercial over now.

  13. Comment by Unknown | 09.2.2005 | 4:37 am

    Hey fat cyclist! It’s me: Fat Michelle.First off, don’t blame me. I just got here. Well, a week ago. And things are on track: I’m down 1.5 pounds at 158.5. My stated starting weight of 164 was an "evening weight" which is, on average, 2 lbs heavier than my "morning weight". And I think 2 pounds of that were fake. My true starting weight was 160. So, I’m down 1.5 pounds this week and will keep this up till 120. CDC website says my BMI is 25. They think that’s a 1/2 pound away from "normal". I don’t know where they got that idea! That’s way, way too much Michelle. I’m signed up for a century taking place next month and going to ride a lot this weekend.Go fat cyclist go!

  14. Comment by Fat Cyclist | 09.2.2005 | 5:39 am

    Nice going, Michelle! Glad you had a good week.

  15. Comment by Fat | 09.2.2005 | 1:00 pm

    I’ve hit a platuea myself and am trying just about everything to get off it. Unlike you, I’ve cut out all of those "bad" foods. I’m to the point where I’m going to add weights to my arms and ankles during workouts and switch my meal plans a little bit. Why is my body so complicated?!? lol Have a great day.~ Fat Chick

  16. Comment by James | 09.2.2005 | 1:26 pm

    Elden: you may not blame yourself, but I do. I’ve been there and done that and the only way I found to change my behavior was to own it. Look, if lazy, cookie-eating, situp-avoiding me can drop weight, so can you. But first you have to get rid of the fat between your ears. Good week or bad week, your choice. If you think you’re working on winter blubber, you are. If you think you had a bad week and you’ll be back on track starting now, you are. What do you want more?Oh, and you think the onset of fall is hard? How about Thanksgiving? It’s not too far off. Time to have a plan. Are you going to commute year-round? Got lights? Tights? Reflective ves-ghts? Do you have a velodrome in your basement? Or are you going to shack up with a mag trainer and TdF tapes? Whatever, just know what you’re going to do before you run out of daylight.Tough love, bro!JLS

  17. Comment by Unknown | 09.2.2005 | 1:55 pm

    I have been working on a new food regime myself. Who knew that cabbage could be so good!At 6′ and 200 lbs, I am the heaviest I have ever been – and that’s after losing 7 lbs. Admittedly, as a former rugby player, I like carrying some weight. But after moving to PA and discovering hills (I grew up in FL), I am rethinking that. Just discovered your site and am reinspired to keep at it. Good luck to you!

  18. Comment by Unknown | 09.2.2005 | 1:59 pm

    Dear Fatty,Just remember fat weighs more then muscle. I’ve used that line enough now it somehow justifies eating a pizza after running.sigh

  19. Comment by Zed | 09.2.2005 | 6:44 pm

    Ummm, yeah. Listen to Michael, not Daddyd. You lose WAY (note the emphasis) more weight in the spring & summer when the weather’s heating up. Find a sweaty indoor spinning class and push yourself like Sheryl Crowe’s your girlfriend or something. Hecka hecka yeah!

  20. Comment by Unknown | 09.3.2005 | 7:28 am

    Actually, fat doesn’t weigh more than muscle… muscle is denser than fat, right? Therefore, a hunk of muscle the same size as a blob of fat would be heavier. Muscle is denser than fat, as you already knew before I started prattling, and so you can weigh more but be thinner. Also, if you stay hydrated, as you should and as I’m sure you do, then you will weigh more but be thinner, be healthier, and burn fat more quickly.Besides which, you should be patting yourself on the back for all the weight you HAVE lost and all the progress you HAVE made, not beating yourself over the head for a slip from grace that will soon be overcome.Keep on keepin’ on and keep up the good work! The world is watching and you are one damn fine motivator for a whole bunch of folks, in which I am included.I’m taking down the trackback and I REALLY appreciate your explanation! I think I simple link is all I need, but I do thank you for being my test track and for taking the time to let me know whazup widit.Hugs,Monkey


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