A Stupid Man Tells You How To Do Stuff

01.27.2007 | 4:44 pm

So I’ve been watching the links coming in from other sites the last couple days. I’m curious who’s linking to me because of the whole Bloggies Award contest.

I know, I know, I should just let whatever’s going to happen, happen.

But I can’t help myself.

First off, a big “Thanks” to my friends at Go Clipless, who are asking their readers to go vote for Jill Up in Alaska and me.

To my chagrin, however, according to memstreams.net, I am officially stupid.

I Embrace My Stupidity
Knowing that I’m stupid is a relief, in some ways. It absolves me of responsibility for my stupid acts. If a smart person does something stupid, you wonder why. If a stupid person does something stupid, hey, he’s just being himself.

So anyway, it’s good to know that I’m stupid.

Moving from the Old Place to the New Place
Being stupid explains also why it took so long for me to figure out that if I don’t start moving some of my favorite posts from my old site, it will never get done.

See what I mean? Stupid.

The thing is, there’s a lot of stuff over there, and no automatic way to move it. So I’ve been putting it off and putting it off, figuring I’d eventually sit down one day and have a marathon porting session.

That, of course, was stupid of me.

How to Do Everything Important
So, instead, I’m going to try to start moving some of my favorites over a little at a time. Today, for example, I moved over a bunch of my favorite — and, let’s face it, very useful and informative — “How To” articles.

If you haven’t read them before, read them now. All of them. Immediately. If you have read them before, read them again, looking for deeper meaning and nuance.

I Am Now Taking Requests
Over the next week or so, I’m going to root through the old blog and bring over my favorite posts. Tomorrow I think I’ll focus on “An Open Letter To….” Then maybe I’ll bring over all things Lance-related. Then some fake news.

If you’ve got a favorite, let me know and I’ll prioritize accordingly. If my feeble brain is up to it, anyway.

PS: If you haven’t already, do me a big favor and go vote for me — I’m the stupid one in the “Best-Kept-Secret” category.


  1. Comment by Neil Brennen | 01.27.2007 | 5:03 pm

    OK, you and Jill got my vote.

  2. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 01.27.2007 | 5:09 pm

    I think some of your ride write-ups are among the best. I remember one “’something or other’ and treachery on the hog back” that was a good’n.

    Knowing that *you’re* stupid doesn’t make me feel better. I thought it would, but nope. I just feel more stoopider now.

    Jill in AK is awesome; in fact, too good. I had to stop reading her blog.

    Ok, I’ll go vote, but only if you don’t ask me to do anything else for at least a week. Oh, and help me with my resume.

  3. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 01.27.2007 | 5:25 pm

    Oh, I didn’t bother following your link to the “stupid” thing. Whoever runs the blog said, “Two years ago, at the start of this blog, the guy is 5′8″ and 188 lbs. Now he is down to 173.” I wanted to reply, “Yeah, but now he’s 6′6″, and that’s just amazing!”–but I would have had to log in or something and that is *far* too much work.

    Would it make you feel better or worse if someone logged onto their site and said, fatty’s lost A LOT more wieght than 15 pounds?

    I can’t recall you going off line for 9 months. . .

  4. Comment by Beast Mom | 01.27.2007 | 5:58 pm

    One of my fav posts of yours is where you described working out on your roller-style trainer and then being propelled into your TV cabinet. I laughed at that post for weeks. I’m sure reposting that won’t help the “not stupid” reputation. :)

    Serious thought: Not just anyone can take everyday, STUPID events of life and turn them into stories that trazillions of people take time to read every single day. Not just anyone will actually admit their foibles for public consumption. But EVERYONE does stupid things regularly. Most just won’t admit it.

    I love reading your blog. Pitting blogs against blogs and voting for them is not my thing. But you’d have my vote if I bowed to The System.


  5. Comment by Derek | 01.27.2007 | 6:04 pm

    Didn’t your old site support full-text RSS feeds? If so, I can almost gaurantee there’s an easy way to import most of it automatically…

  6. Comment by barry1021 | 01.27.2007 | 6:08 pm

    Well I had no issues with joining that site and expressing my opinion. I only wish I could have thought of something more witty to say, but then I would be Fatty or Al or Dr. Fuentes or….


  7. Comment by O. Dear | 01.27.2007 | 6:20 pm

    Hey, forget about that Memestreams guy. He thought I was “only mildly amusing”. Personally, I think you’re swell!

  8. Comment by bikemike | 01.27.2007 | 7:23 pm

    stoopid is as stoopid does. don’t as in DO NOT change what yer doin’ man.
    we lemmings will follow you right off that cliff my good sir.

  9. Comment by my middle name is fred | 01.27.2007 | 7:31 pm

    Fatty – you have my vote. Thanks for all the great writing. Every night when my wife sees me busting a gut in front of my laptop, she says, “oh, you’re reading the Fat Cyclist again, right?” Cheers.

  10. Comment by BIg Mike In Oz | 01.27.2007 | 7:41 pm

    I have a group of favourites to suggest. It’s the epic ride stories from the old days. Oops that’s my series. Maybe I should pay more attention to what I’m reading.

    When you bring over the “Open Letters” I think we’re due for a new installment. I think Operación Puerto has been left in the hands of mainstream news reporting for too long.

  11. Comment by Argentius | 01.27.2007 | 9:00 pm

    I recently got called “It’s like a seinfeld routine about cycling. Only, not funny.”

  12. Comment by FatArsedWombat | 01.27.2007 | 9:50 pm

    Embrace stupidity. Like the truth, it will set you free. Stupidos of the world, unite. .
    Which brings me to my request:
    Please be sure to bring The Universal Signs – cycling gestures for every occasion – over to your new site. With so many new year’s resolutions still on the go, as well as the B7 challenge hotting up, I think it would be timely for you to remind us all of these essential rules of cycling etiquette.

    Sorry – like Beast Mom, blog voting is not my thing. I only read one blog.

  13. Comment by Peter | 01.27.2007 | 10:19 pm

    Weblog awards
    Hi, congratulations on your nomination, hope you get lots of traffic and are successful in your category.
    All the best.



  14. Comment by Born4Lycra | 01.28.2007 | 3:09 am

    Brilliant – absolutely brilliant. Follow the link to Memestreams and you get the Wikpedia definition for sour grapes. Follow the link to Stupid and you get memestreams where you discover the wally did not get nominated for anything hence the sour grapes. Sunk him in one. FC Rules OK!

  15. Comment by roni, israel | 01.28.2007 | 5:16 am

    Your boy got it all wrong.

    Assuming that the portion of the physically active participants in his study is larger than their portion in the general population, his group of subjects does not reflect the heterogenic population; hence his assumptions regarding the general population are not scientifically acceptable.

  16. Comment by Graham | 01.28.2007 | 6:15 am

    You’ve got to migrate your piece on Assos and their stupid marketing campaign…that was one of my favorites. I think you had one or two others in that vain that I can’t recall at the moment, but transfer those while you’re at it. :-)

    Congratulations on the nomination! You deserve to win…despite my cycling bias.

  17. Comment by UltraRob | 01.28.2007 | 9:09 am

    Congratulations on making it to the finals! This month I moved all of my posts from my old blogspot address. It wasn’t easy but I didn’t want to leave my old posts behind. I don’t if anything I did would apply since you weren’t on blogger. I was able to change my template to generate a XML file of all my posts and then it was just tedious copy and paste.

  18. Comment by LanterneRouge | 01.28.2007 | 10:16 am

    No weight posting today? Slacker.

  19. Comment by BOSSY | 01.28.2007 | 12:35 pm

    Lucky you. Bossy wishes she would be nominated. Or called stupid. Either, really.

  20. Comment by Postmodern Sass | 01.28.2007 | 12:53 pm

    I don’t see where Memestreams called you stupid — maybe they removed it? Love the link to “sour grapes” on Wikipedia, though. I don’t know whether you’re stupid or not, but I’m curious about why you call yourself fat.

  21. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 01.28.2007 | 1:41 pm

    roni, israel– Thanks for your review of fatty’s son’s experiment. Not only do I find it in bad taste, but much worse, I find in inacurate and incomplete.

    Nowhere within the information concerning fatty’s son’s experiment or within the results of that experiment do I find the claim that the sample population is supposed to represent anything other than the sample population. The results are described as “average effect of caffeine on people” NOT “the effect of caffeine on average people.” In fact in the Results section, he refers to his sample group as “people” which sets the precedent that “people” refers to the sample group.

    Further, in science, reviews are performed by peers (as in peer-reviewd) and judging by your comment, it is clear that intellectually, you are not a peer of fatty’s son.

  22. Comment by Born4Lycra | 01.28.2007 | 4:20 pm

    Yep I agree with what Botched said.

  23. Comment by regina | 01.28.2007 | 4:56 pm

    of course you and jill have my vote, I do not care who calls you stupid, they are dead to me, and what about the twin six jersey, you were going to make a decision this weekend as I recall, though I am stupid so that could have been something I remember only the voice in my head saying.

  24. Comment by spin echo | 01.28.2007 | 4:58 pm

    well said botched -

  25. Comment by barry1021 | 01.28.2007 | 6:26 pm


    Still there but he apologized…


  26. Comment by Wes Woolard | 01.28.2007 | 7:19 pm

    We (I) need the Best Cake in the World!


  27. Comment by greg | 01.28.2007 | 9:03 pm

    You must post an open letter to triathletes. I love the part about the swimming.

  28. Comment by greg | 01.28.2007 | 9:07 pm

    Oh the post about the 8 simple rules to MTB I think it was called. You had me rolling when you said Doug should tape the rules to his bicycle.

  29. Comment by LMouse | 01.29.2007 | 3:58 pm

    Yeah, stupid like a fox.

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