Here, Have a Email Account. Free.

06.8.2007 | 6:05 am

You know, it occurs to me that “Fat Cyclist” stopped being about me a long time ago. Sure, I still write the main blog entries, but the community that’s grown up around this site far outstrips the original purpose of the blog.

Which is to say: I am not the Fat Cyclist. We are the Fat Cyclist.

Not that I’m calling you fat. And not that I’m proposing some sort of borg-like collective. Or any other kind of collective. Look, all I’m saying is that is a lot cooler with all the readers, commenters, jersey-wearers, and ads-for-schwag partners than it would be if it were just me posting my daily nonsense. Basically, you’re as much a part of this as I am.

So you may as well have an email address that makes it official, right?

Oh, and I think I’ll give something cool away as part of this, too.

And by “cool,” I mean really, really, really cool. As in, “I can’t believe I’m not keeping this for myself” cool.

Here’s Whatcha Gotta Do
Luckily for both you and me, it doesn’t cost anything to get a nice, big, fat two gigabyte Fat Cyclist email account. That’s because I’m using the ad-supported Windows Live Custom Domains service. Which should mean nothing to you other than it’s free and it looks like Hotmail (and the new Hotmail looks pretty darn good, if I say so myself).

So, think of a really clever email address you want for your account and then:

Click here to sign up

Once you’ve signed up, you can check and send email anytime just by signing in at either:


Either way, you may want to bookmark that address, so you can email people using your alter ego whenever the mood strikes.

Why I Will Move to Minneapolis if I Ever Leave Utah
For the past little while, I’ve been all about these awesome jerseys Twin Six has made / is making. As you may — or may not — know, Twin Six is headquartered in Minneapolis. You know who else is headquartered in Minneapolis, though? The fabulous Banjo Brothers, that’s who.

Yes, the very same company that started sponsoring and advertising with me before anyone else had even heard of me.

Every single one of you who has gotten a Twin Six jersey from me has also received — free — a cool Banjo Brothers Pocket Messenger Bag.

Well, guess what I got in the mail from the Banjo Brothers recently: several custom Fat Cyclist-branded Super Size (2000 cubic inches!) Messenger Bags and Commuter Backpacks, all to give away.

Yes, that’s right. The Banjo Brothers stitched the Fat Cyclist logo right onto a bunch of their top-of-the-line bags and sent them to me to give to my readers (The top three scorers in the Banjo Brothers’ Big Bad Bulky Biker Bodyfat contest will be awarded these, too — more incentive to work hard these last two months!).

What is it about Minneapolis that makes the entrepeneurs there so cool? I demand to know. Anyway, the Banjo Brothers rock, and deserve your business in a big way. Tell your bike store they should carry Banjo Brothers bags. Maybe in a display case right beside the big ol’ rack of Twin Six jerseys. 

How the Contest Works
I’m going to give away one of these awesomely large messenger bags to whoever creates the coolest email address for herself / himself.

Yeah, that’s right, all you have to do to enter the contest is create a email account for yourself. I have a magical page from which I can see the names of all email addresses created, but I think you should post your chosen email address in the comments area here anyway, so everyone can admire the cool name you’ve given yourself, and then send you a congratulatory email to your email address from their email address.

It’ll be as much fun as having secret decoder rings, I promise.

Oh, and as you all know, I’m kind of a prude, so I’ll delete — without notice or explanation — any rude, obscene, or otherwise lame email addresses created. That’s my way.

Oh, and I already took so you can forget about snagging that name.

PS to One Particular Reader: Hey, Australian guy who ordered a jersey and then sent an email letting me know you’re moving to Vietnam (!!!): I can’t find your new address anywhere. Email it to me again, wouldja? Sorry I’m a dope.


  1. Comment by dawn | 06.8.2007 | 6:29 am

    I’m an archaeologist by training, so it just fits my style. Plus some days, especially after a long ride, these bones just don’t want to go.

  2. Comment by TG | 06.8.2007 | 6:36 am

    This can refer to many things…..the torment of taking just a bit of creme brulee…the suffering as you reach the summit of your favorite climb…waiting for my pink lemonade Team Fatty jersey to arrive.

  3. Comment by Big Boned | 06.8.2007 | 6:53 am

    I was out riding with a friend last night wearing my FC jersey. As we were riding, I remarked to my friend “it seems to really be bothering people to have an admitted Fat Cyclist pass them!” Love that jersey!

  4. Comment by KeepYerBag | 06.8.2007 | 7:07 am, of course.

    It goes without saying that I won’t be winning the bag since my whole persona on this site is founded upon the notion–in jest, of course–that you should keep your bag.

    My Minneapolis story: In addition to being home to the fabulous Twin 6 and Banjo Bros., Minneapolis is also home to the Mall of America, a veritable second home to some Minnesota based nephews.

    Whenever they come to visit what did they want to do? Go to the mall. Kinda like wanting to see the middle school cafeteria after unlimited access to a Vegas buffet, isn’t it?

  5. Comment by Brewinman | 06.8.2007 | 7:09 am
    This is self-explanatory. I brew almost all the beer I enjoy after my rides.

  6. Comment by traildiva | 06.8.2007 | 7:23 am : )

    The Twin Cities has an amazing bike scene — aside from the aforementioned companies, we’ve got QBP, CarsRCoffins, Peacock Groove, Bob Brown, and many others, as well as ever-growing singletrack opportunities within pedaling distance of home.

  7. Comment by chtrich | 06.8.2007 | 7:30 am

    Can I have two. since that’s my name and it seems fitting.

    and the more fun one because I love Chunky Monkey ice cream (ok, I love all ice cream really) and it also sounds very fitting.


  8. Comment by Adam | 06.8.2007 | 7:37 am

  9. Comment by Adam | 06.8.2007 | 7:37 am

  10. Comment by Adam | 06.8.2007 | 7:38 am

  11. Comment by trigeeks | 06.8.2007 | 7:40 am No, it’s not the Van Halen album, It’s my nemesis!

  12. Comment by Kathy | 06.8.2007 | 7:45 am

    I aspire to be the set of legs you admire and then look up to find a 50-year-old woman (in 10 years). It’s the truth for most women bikers, and a long-term goal as well. (Not even a Rod Stewart fan)

  13. Comment by poweredbywaffles | 06.8.2007 | 7:59 am

    because highspeed wobbles have become the bane of my existence. just yesterday — 50mph, got the wobbles. its giving me a complex. im pretty sure the bag will balance the harmonics and smooth things out. plus i actually commute on my bike.

    and saying “wobble” three times fast makes me think of the hamburgler.

  14. Comment by rogarr | 06.8.2007 | 7:59 am

  15. Comment by Tim D | 06.8.2007 | 8:11 am

    Adam, how about for you?

  16. Comment by Lowrydr | 06.8.2007 | 8:12 am Due to the fact I’ve got a 12″ grey goatee and I’m 54 plus ride tourist style. Nice Azspritzen there Adam

  17. Comment by Tim D | 06.8.2007 | 8:12 am

    Adam, how about for you?

  18. Comment by Adam Lisonbee | 06.8.2007 | 8:14 am

  19. Comment by Tim D | 06.8.2007 | 8:17 am

    Aargh! How about for me!

  20. Comment by Tom S | 06.8.2007 | 8:23 am

    got the incredibly original

    I can’t believe nobody’s gone for or, or even
    Imagine trying to explain that address to someone!
    Thanks, Fatty!

  21. Comment by dug | 06.8.2007 | 8:27 am

    you know what else if from Minneapolis? ME. born and raised. i’m just sayin.

  22. Comment by Pedro | 06.8.2007 | 8:30 am

    This is obvious …

  23. Comment by Maile in Florida | 06.8.2007 | 8:32 am, because I love Tolkien’s writings plus I ride on the road. It comes from a Tolkien poem:
    The Road goes ever on and on
    Down from the door where it began.
    Now far ahead the Road has gone,
    And I must follow, if I can…

  24. Comment by seven22 | 06.8.2007 | 8:33 am

    Thanks Fatty!

  25. Comment by BrokenSpokes | 06.8.2007 | 8:34 am

    As a usual lurker, I thought now would be a good time to enter the mix of characters I have related to, I hereby submit my fancy new email address:

  26. Comment by monkeywebb | 06.8.2007 | 8:46 am

    I got to keep things simple, but if I were creative (and honest) I would have chosen

    If I wasn’t afraid someone on the outside would get the wrong idea I would have chosen

    And if I were a little bit further south on the crude scale I would have chosen Good thing I’m not.

  27. Comment by bici beeyatch | 06.8.2007 | 8:59 am

    i love biking and i love baking. i also love bacon. mmmm, bacon…

    i was gonna go for but i just didn’t have the cojones to ask people to write me at that address. i do have the luxury body though. and tanned shins!

  28. Comment by Donut | 06.8.2007 | 9:01 am

    Long time reader, first time commenter – my shiny new FC email address is:

    refering to the moniker given me by my loosly classified cycling team the Rocky Mountain “Fighting” Oysters. Others on the team include Peanut, General Nut Craker, Nut’n Honey and so on. As you can imagine with a name like “Donut”, I feel right at home in my FC jersey (although it is a little tight) Thanks for making me laugh!

  29. Comment by bici beeyatch | 06.8.2007 | 9:03 am

    damn, i see that monkey web got in the luxury body before me! me and my slooooow typing! curses

  30. Comment by billgriz | 06.8.2007 | 9:04 am

    The yin and yang of all of us in one email.

  31. Comment by Mocougfan | 06.8.2007 | 9:05 am is the obvious. But for you fatty. I used to be a dentist for the Air Force and many of my friends here in Missouri are B2 Stealth Bomber pilots. They all have nicknames they go by. “Tonka”, “Spork”, “Psych”, etc. My favorite though is a black guy with the last name of White. His nick name…. Notso.

  32. Comment by Mocougfan | 06.8.2007 | 9:06 am is the obvious. But for you fatty. I used to be a dentist for the Air Force and many of my friends here in Missouri are B2 Stealth Bomber pilots. They all have nicknames they go by. “Tonka”, “Spork”, “Psych”, etc. My favorite though is a black guy with the last name of White. His nick name…. Notso.

  33. Comment by Fat Bri | 06.8.2007 | 9:19 am


    My exciting new email is I live up the side of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna BC and work down in the valley. So in the morning I have a big reentry-from-orbit high speed downhill run but after work, I wage the War Against Gravity. All the fat cyclists out there can appreciate this I’m sure.

    F*ck you, gravity!
    Fat Bri

  34. Comment by dpcowboy | 06.8.2007 | 9:20 am

    Dear Elden,
    I applied for, and received, my new FC email account. Thank you.
    At my age, there is no way I can possibly remember a clever name, so I used the one I use on my yahoo account. Not very clever, but it does have ‘cowboy’ in the name, and that was my nickname when I was little….you see..
    When I was three and living at Fort Hood, in Texas (I was an army brat), my Dad (the Colonel) took the family to one of those DudeRanch for a day things down at the base corral….I am sure we got to do fun stuff and my mom fussed about us kids. The story goes that when it was time to eat we all sat down at picnic tables and I snuck off, climbed the corral fence, got on a horse, and rode away. My Dad found me a couple of hours later. I don’t remember anything, because I was too young. Now I am 52, and i can’t remember anything again. But the nickname stuck.

  35. Comment by JEB | 06.8.2007 | 9:37 am

    Mocougfan, I like the Notso! But it is possible to take even better advantage of the email address format and create I don’t imagine that an email idea totally inspired by someone else could win this contest, so I’m not actually going to use it. And I think it would be pretty darn confusing to try to tell to someone. Besides, I’ve already got three mail accounts to keep track of.

  36. Comment by dblink0 | 06.8.2007 | 9:40 am Loved ordering a supersize #3 with a diet coke. Hasn’t been the same since they went to just large.

    Wore my new FC jersey at the local training race yesterday. Still got dropped but looked good doing it.

  37. Comment by mark | 06.8.2007 | 9:48 am

    Signed up for mark (at) fatcyclist dot com (sorry, a little paranoid about web crawlers finding me and turning the spammers to an address I will actually use).

    For the sake of the competition, also registered redneckbrawler(at) As much as I try to let it go, I still can’t seem to shake the memory of that guy trying to run me off the road and then wanting to fight with me a few weeks ago. Especially since yesterday some guy thought it was his duty to use his right front quarter panel to nudge me onto the right side of the white line, even though the shoulder was about six inches wide and full of gravel. I did my duty and nailed said quarter panel and adjacent window with a loogy as I zipped past at the next stoplight.

    The unintended upside of registering “Redneck Brawler” is that when logged in, I am greeted with “hello, Redneck.”

  38. Comment by miles archer | 06.8.2007 | 9:59 am

    I’m going for just to screw with people.

  39. Comment by fatty | 06.8.2007 | 10:03 am

    miles – you’re a sneaky one, you are.

  40. Comment by jill | 06.8.2007 | 10:19 am

    My own hotmail account is blocking me from signing up. Dang.

    I was going to do

    But I also like

  41. Comment by barry1021 | 06.8.2007 | 10:35 am

    Mccougfan see what happens? Nobody is gonna azspritzen you now cuz you have lost all credibility–you could be hiding a one letter change in there and nobody wants to take the time to look for it. Talk about the boy that cried Azspritzen.

    Tim D-That, i believe, is called “azspritzen irony”.

    Geez I hate these contests that require creativity-on-demand. My palms get sweaty and my mouth goes dry. I sit at the keyboard trying to think of something incredible. I got bubkus. Is it legal to have someone ghostwrite my email address?


  42. Comment by Al Maviva | 06.8.2007 | 10:36 am

    Hey, I’m a big supporter of truth-in-advertising.

    A *big* supporter.

  43. Comment by Bruce | 06.8.2007 | 10:37 am

    I don’t know what it means, but passing motorists and pace lines yell it at me all the time.

  44. Comment by RoadRash | 06.8.2007 | 10:49 am

    I’m in –

    and I cast my vote for The Turtle…

  45. Comment by bikemike | 06.8.2007 | 10:54 am


    hey, i’m a middle-aged,slightly overweight, mostly grey haired, white guy. genetically, how many original ideas do you think are left?

    i can’t say anything about people voluntarily wishing to live in Minn. in the winter. i live on the southeast coast of Florida during hurricane season. um not a very smart man, Jenny.

  46. Comment by Wonderdyke | 06.8.2007 | 11:23 am

    Great bag! I went with

  47. Comment by Uncadan8 | 06.8.2007 | 11:26 am

    Here it is:

    Because it is true.

    But when it isn’t, I’ll be able to look back all misty eyed at the memories.

  48. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 06.8.2007 | 11:36 am

    Not too sound naive, but what does “azspritzen” mean?

  49. Comment by Carl | 06.8.2007 | 11:41 am

    I’m going with Now I have no way of knowing whether it is true or not (I dont consider myself all that fat), but as far as cyclists go, I could lose a few (dozen) lbs. So there you have it.

    How cool is it that fatty just keeps on giving! Not only is he giving away free email addresses, he is also giving away prizes for having the best one! The website has taken on a life of its own. It is becoming its own community. Congratulations on a wonderful job well done!

  50. Comment by Likey, but Not So Bikey | 06.8.2007 | 11:42 am

    Because I’ve been reading for months, and have never posted a thing.
    Love all the commentary, even though I can’t relate from a biking perspective.

    Bought a Mtn bike in 1995. Rode it twice in the 90s: First time on a trail in ABQ… not 15 feet out of the parking lot, I couldn’t get my feet out of the cages. Succesfully landed on chollo cactus (is it redundant to include ‘cactus’?.. isn’t not like saying Tuna FISH, is it? because I’d hate if I just did that).

    Second ride: Put it in the back of the truck to go to friend’s house to ride together. Clearly, the bike & I hadn’t made up yet, as I didn’t RIDE to the friend’s house, but *drove the bike over*. Cute, huh? Bike scratched the paint. ..probably to make a point..

  51. Comment by LanterneRouge | 06.8.2007 | 11:52 am

    Those things are watercolored Uncadan8.

  52. Comment by Weean | 06.8.2007 | 12:00 pm

    If it wasn’t for the fact that I’ll take weean@ and leave it there, I would plump for, just to give me a chance of winning a bag.

    I’m not going to though, so anyone with a high opinion of my idea (you poor, poor fool) can grab it themselves.

  53. Comment by UncleFred | 06.8.2007 | 12:00 pm

    With apologies to Chris for not readin the comments before signing up.

    I did try but it told me it contained a prohibited word!!!

  54. Comment by Clydesteve | 06.8.2007 | 12:14 pm Prosaic, I suppose. I thought I was signing up for but somehow did not get that. It knew. It knew I should be signing up for 221 at

    Phhttttttttt. 201 is a goal, not a lie.

  55. Comment by Clydesteve | 06.8.2007 | 12:30 pm

    OK, technical difficulties solved. I have an underandoverstanding with Windozelive, and I am officially as well as

  56. Comment by Amy | 06.8.2007 | 12:45 pm

  57. Comment by buckythedonkey | 06.8.2007 | 12:52 pm

  58. Comment by Bent022 | 06.8.2007 | 12:52 pm

    Not very creative, but true:

    I thought about toomuchchocolate@fc but I thought it would be best not to be reminded of chocolate so often.

  59. Comment by MTB W | 06.8.2007 | 12:56 pm

    At the risk of fatty deleting this email address since it is lame, here it is: mtbw(at)

  60. Comment by Heffalump | 06.8.2007 | 12:57 pm

    I went with spinningthecranks@fatcyclist…. you know the rest.

  61. Comment by buckythedonkey | 06.8.2007 | 12:58 pm

    I’ve gone for

  62. Comment by cloud19th | 06.8.2007 | 1:09 pm

    I can’t come up with one, but can I vote for “MrBlobby” please? it’s the only one that made me laugh out loud.

  63. Comment by Lowrydr | 06.8.2007 | 1:17 pm

    Chose a different one than above. Had all day to get more creative than just oldgoat. All though I do fit that description rather well.

  64. Comment by winner27 | 06.8.2007 | 1:21 pm

    I chose

    Because I do. Every day. Thanks Fatty!

    (okay it sounds like a shameless suck-up for schwag but it’s really not.)

  65. Comment by chtrich | 06.8.2007 | 1:24 pm

    Just have to say these are some fun comments. Good luck to all.
    UncleFred…it’s ok, there’s plenty of Chunky Monkey to go around. And if we run out there’s always NYSFC (New York Super Fudge Chunk)

  66. Comment by Lisa B | 06.8.2007 | 1:56 pm

    Wah! I’m getting a runtime error (like at work, thanks for making my day, Fatty). I want either fatnhappy or defatted – depends on my confidence level and ability to beat Fatty at the B7 contest.

  67. Comment by Big O | 06.8.2007 | 2:15 pm

    I chose

    Thank you, Fatty! Ride On!

  68. Comment by Solo | 06.8.2007 | 2:15 pm
    Ive ridden Treks longer then Lance (not farther…….. but longer)

  69. Comment by Rokrider | 06.8.2007 | 2:52 pm

    I picked

    Because that’s the way it pretty much seems to me.

  70. Comment by zapcat | 06.8.2007 | 3:10 pm

    it seemed self-evident….

  71. Comment by zapcat | 06.8.2007 | 3:12 pm….that seemed self-evident…

  72. Comment by heartcondition | 06.8.2007 | 3:29 pm Because its what my daughter yells at me during races and when riding the tandem together.

  73. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 06.8.2007 | 3:47 pm

    Signed up for fatcyclist mail.

  74. Comment by Lurkeyloo | 06.8.2007 | 4:14 pm


  75. Comment by Dave | 06.8.2007 | 4:32 pm

    self explanatory –

  76. Comment by Dennis | 06.8.2007 | 5:01 pm

    my quads must be too skinny

  77. Comment by Don | 06.8.2007 | 5:46 pm

    Count me in as well, let’s have fun.
    Ride on!!

  78. Comment by Griffin | 06.8.2007 | 5:46 pm


    I was 264 lbs when I first stumbled upon this blog last August. I had just started cycling again after a 12 year hiatus, and in a fit of depression Googled “fat cyclist clothes”….

    Now I’m 211 and not yet truly slim but on my way!

    All by the power of the Eldin – the original Fatcyclist!

  79. Comment by Griffin | 06.8.2007 | 5:47 pm


    I was 264 lbs when I first stumbled upon this blog last August. I had just started cycling again after a 12 year hiatus, and in a fit of depression Googled “fat cyclist clothes”….

    Now I’m 211 and not yet truly slim but on my way!

    All by the power of the Eldin – the original Fatcyclist!

  80. Comment by Don | 06.8.2007 | 5:47 pm

    Count me in as well, let’s have fun.
    Ride on!!

  81. Comment by Don | 06.8.2007 | 5:47 pm

    Count me in as well, let’s have fun.
    Ride on!!

  82. Comment by Susan (another one) | 06.8.2007 | 5:49 pm

    boggedoutbetty at ….

  83. Comment by Griffin | 06.8.2007 | 5:49 pm

    wow, that was weird.

    I don’t normally stutter…

  84. Comment by Bob | 06.8.2007 | 6:03 pm

    I already have an account:

    I just think it’s a fantastic email name, and I want to be rewarded for having come up with it.

  85. Comment by Rider34 | 06.8.2007 | 6:14 pm

    Nothing like those droopy bast*^#s, best way to cover up those knobby knees and scarred shins. Let ‘em droop!!!!!

  86. Comment by joliver3 | 06.8.2007 | 6:17 pm

    Following the uncreative trend with joliver3(at) Lame, I know, but it’s about the only way I can keep track of work email, home email, Yahoo mail, Gmail, and now FC mail.

    Hope that Mr & Mrs. FC and all the little FCs are doing well….

  87. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 06.8.2007 | 6:29 pm

    Is a “well done” not reward enough Bob?

  88. Comment by msk | 06.8.2007 | 6:38 pm

    after much deliberation, reflection and rumination


    almost went for


    so far love the
    ilurk(at) made me chuckle

    and, as ever with Al, a trip to google to try and understand “human derny”



  89. Comment by MonsieurM | 06.8.2007 | 6:59 pm

    I thought about MonsieurM@… but no, too obvious.

    Then it was arewethereyet@… but no, I never say that, I enjoy riding.

    I really tought about lanternerouge@… but I think it’s already someone’s nickname around here.

    And then I knew. A tribute to those crazy riders who get on every doomed breakway which fails (almost) all the time (Jacky Durand anyone?). They are not the most talented, the odds are against them, but they keep trying… With my modest skills I can relate to that. The french language has a very interesting way to call that: Chasse-patate (literally, it’s something like “potato hunter”).

    So here comes my tribute…

  90. Comment by Dawn M. | 06.8.2007 | 7:34 pm

    I went with triskinny(at)

    I’m the Fat Cyclist antithesis, a skinny triathlete. I love coming to Fat Cyclist, I always get a good laugh. I can’t wait for the pink jersey to get here!


  91. Comment by Jsun | 06.8.2007 | 8:09 pm

    I was having hotmail account conflicts too and try again later. Maybe I will think of something clevererer by then.
    This is it so far

  92. Comment by VeloCC | 06.8.2007 | 8:10 pm

    I have to first of all out my self and tell you guys that I am German, like our beloved Dr. Lumpy, or what was his name again? (at least I think he must be German, taken from his humor-less attitude)
    I also have to say that I don’t have the balls for a really frisky email address…why? Well, I don’t have any… I am more of that kind where you go on bike trips without a bike

    Anyway, here is my email address:

    Someone from the other sex has to try out the effect of the tingling sensations of that Suisse spalming-wonder…

  93. Comment by Lyne | 06.8.2007 | 8:38 pm

    Went with

  94. Comment by Mrs. Botched | 06.8.2007 | 8:52 pm

    Always a lurker, but couldn’t resist this one.


  95. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 06.8.2007 | 9:37 pm

    It’s taken over 12 hours for my brain to finally solidify an idea that was worth speaking out loud. In fact it took 25 miles of meditation on the highway on the fixie to shake this gem loose.

    Since I reside “Down Under” I figured this was the most appropriate way for people to contact me.

  96. Comment by Dave | 06.8.2007 | 9:44 pm signing in!

    and there’s a smell of Matisse and Jacks cranberry walnut bars filling the house. Mmmm.

    thanks fatty!

  97. Comment by Mehera | 06.8.2007 | 10:36 pm

    Just call me:


  98. Comment by barry1021 | 06.8.2007 | 10:54 pm

    2 45 AM-havent had time to put it in, but I will take

    hey its easier to spell than azspritzen.

    On a B7 note, how many B7ers have had this thought:

    “Gee I have really changed my eating habits during this contest. I will never do the hoover, see food diet again. I can control myself. It feels great!!”

    Well we had a party for a neighbor who finished her undergrad degree after raising two kids. I hoovered. I may have to go to the emergency room to get the tablecloth and flower arrangement removed from my trachea-guess I created a negative draft and everything got swallowed. Won’t say I blew the B7 to pieces, but I think I am back to XXL.


  99. Comment by Jack | 06.9.2007 | 12:03 am

    I read the post, thought “What’s the most zen joke I can do?”, and registered (how fat am I? I’m fatfatcyclist, etc). Then I read the comments here and found that others had had similar ideas and I should just have gone with my first ideas:
    l’ (i.e. broom wagon)

    Now I’m left hoping that my zen attitude will swing the balance in my favour over the other, wittier contestants.

  100. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 06.9.2007 | 3:19 am

    Well I went with missedoutansnowim@fatcyclist etc.
    Altho to be honest if my daughter is not around I’ll never be able to use it anyway. I have enough trouble managing one address.

    My orange top has to be really close by now. FC any news on a possible TeamFC photo gallery. We talked previously about trying to take photos wearing the top at unusual locations around the world and posting them also. Could be a good laugh.

  101. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 06.9.2007 | 3:25 am

    Mrs Coach – not sure if you got an answer but it was previously agreed in the last few days that we would call or refer to a repeated post as an azspritzen. There was a story behind it but due to my age and increasing excitement due to the impending arrival of my top I have forgotten it.

  102. Comment by buckythedonkey | 06.9.2007 | 4:03 am

    Gah! I’ve been out-spalmed by Big Mike!

    The TeamFC gallery get’s my vote. The Forum is the place for that.

  103. Comment by LanterneRouge | 06.9.2007 | 4:08 am

    Future contest ideas:
    How about a contest to guess Fatty’s over/under time on a 9 hour Leadville finish? Another contest to guess the gap between Fatty and Landis and which of the two will finish first?

  104. Comment by barry1021 | 06.9.2007 | 5:35 am

    Bah, Server error–I am being spalmed big time!! Changing my name to a more general but meaningful

    if I ever get on.

    Mrs Coach–Couple days ago I told the fascinating tale of a board that I use to lurk on that regularly malfunctioned and would multiple post. The board members called it an azspritzen (actually I thing it was ashspritzen, but why would we want to copy anybody?) after the member who most regularly was affected. It always sounded uniquely appropriate and removed the need for the offending poster to add a THIRD post apologizing for the previous 2 (3,4,5, etc). THe next poster would just acknowledge the azspritzen and move on. A few members here have run with the idea, since we seem to be getting more double postings, and it may make us even cooler than we already are. After all, we have our own gear, and spalming, so why not azspritzen too?

  105. Comment by Lins - Aust | 06.9.2007 | 5:52 am

    On my quest for an address which was both relavant and personal…

    I’m (obviously) following the fat cyclist pink theme. Plus my number one bike has a pink frame.

    Bob – Due to your latest bike purchase you could add some voltage to your address by changing it to

  106. Comment by Doug (not Dug) | 06.9.2007 | 6:28 am

    I went with this one oldasthedirtirideon@fatcyclist because of the age I am and the age compared to the kids I ride with

  107. Comment by Sean | 06.9.2007 | 7:41 am

    My six week assignment in PA is eight months and counting

  108. Comment by Mike Roadie | 06.9.2007 | 8:50 am

    Sweet bag…..and I really need one, too. So, I went for
    I wanted to use my trademark “im_not_sayin_im_just_sayin”, but it lacked purpose.
    Help a brother fight cancer:

  109. Comment by LanterneRouge | 06.9.2007 | 9:36 am

    I hold this truth to be self evident:

  110. Comment by brian | 06.9.2007 | 10:05 am and succeeding mind you…35 pounds since feb!!

  111. Comment by brian | 06.9.2007 | 10:06 am and succeeding mind you…35 pounds since feb!!

  112. Comment by Philly Jen | 06.9.2007 | 10:29 am

    Wow, I’m late. That’s what happens when you put off the interTubes until after you get your morning ride in.

    Me too, me too, I’m from Minneapolis! “Rah-rah-rah for Ski-U-Mah, Rah for the U of M!”

    I’m totally down with all the womenfolk here:

    I wear pink. Lots of pink. And I use bad language, I swear, all the f-in’ time.

    A few years ago when I was abruptly cut off by a jerk on a BSO (bike-shaped-object), I screamed, “What the f*** — ” just before I T-boned him at went flying. I never got around to adding the “…do you think you’re doing?” part. It occurred to me while waiting to get checked in the ER that I was very lucky the crash wasn’t much worse. Otherwise my parting utterance from this sweet planet would have been “WTF?”

    (Helmets, people, helmets.)

  113. Comment by Amit | 06.9.2007 | 10:36 am

    Hey Fatty,
    I read your blog regularly. It makes for great reading. Thanks.
    Btw. I also think beats all comers :)

  114. Comment by buckythedonkey | 06.9.2007 | 11:03 am

    Does today mark the most comments ever?

    Fatty & any T6 lurkers, thought you might like to know that I was in the Crumpler shop in New York today and the guy behind the till saw my Twin Six t-shirt and handed me a beer (on the grounds that Crumpler makes the T6 messenger bag).

    Of course, the reason I’m wearing T6 t-shirt is the FC connection. I like how these things link up. I also like getting free beer, which has something to do with me being a fat cyclist too.

  115. Comment by wendy | 06.9.2007 | 2:52 pm

  116. Comment by wendy | 06.9.2007 | 2:53 pm

  117. Comment by LittleDan | 06.9.2007 | 4:29 pm

  118. Comment by vertigo | 06.10.2007 | 5:44 am

  119. Comment by JOHN | 06.10.2007 | 8:25 am

    my other choice is bikenkayak@………. a combo of my two passions,

    on one cog is elf explanatory…… I ride single speeds ala I am On One Cog

  120. Comment by hboutin | 06.10.2007 | 3:46 pm

    I thought it was appropriate to me as I started to bike recently and I lost about 25 Pds in the last few months just by comuting.

  121. Comment by ken | 06.10.2007 | 4:30 pm
    I am a rider who works solely for the benefit of the team & team leader. If I had one of those bags, I could carry a lot more water bottles for the team!

  122. Comment by Boz | 06.10.2007 | 5:04 pm

    The obvious choice for me. BTW, Mpls. Mn. rocks. Has a great bike culture, cool shops, ie Hiawatha, Flanders ect.. I dropped the daughter at the Mpls airport yesterday, and took a short, unplanned detour unto St. Paul. Saw alot of bikes hitched to posts and signs all over. This time of year the commuters are out in force, thou there is a core of year rounders. Alot of bike bloggers, raceers, summer tours. Seems we don’t have alot of road rage drivers harrassing riders either. Up here in Duluth, it is rare. So if you gotta move, you’d be welcome there I’m sure.

  123. Comment by Gordon | 06.10.2007 | 10:45 pm

  124. Comment by Secret Trainer | 06.11.2007 | 12:09 am

  125. Comment by Neil Brennen | 06.11.2007 | 4:18 am – I like the sound of the words.

  126. Comment by Tim D | 06.11.2007 | 4:49 am

    Fat Cyclist shirt has landed in the UK. Not seen it yet, but my wife just rang to say it had arrived.

  127. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 06.11.2007 | 5:13 am

    I’m going to be tearing the door off my PO box in 8 hours and 47 minutes. Then I’m going to christen my shining new FC jersey with a metric century in the crisp southern winter.

  128. Comment by Jose | 06.11.2007 | 5:52 am

    Here is my e-mail , I thought about it during my 120-mile ride this weekend, ouch.

  129. Comment by mark | 06.11.2007 | 7:38 am

  130. Comment by royetta | 06.11.2007 | 8:41 am

    I’m mostly a lurker who caught the genesis of the fatcyclist two years ago when I crashed and broke my wrist. Plenty of time to read ALL of the archives; you were an uplifting part of my day during a very difficult time. Now I find myself in the same predicament, having just crashed again last Tuesday.

    My email is

    Yeah, I know, way too obvious. But that’s what the guys call me. And as a 54-year-old, formerly fat gal contending with the local animals, I’m sort of proud of it.

    Wishing only the best to the fatcyclist community, especially fatty and Susan.

  131. Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 06.11.2007 | 9:43 am

    Bucky the Donkey, that is classic!

    There are so many good addresses out there already. I think I’ll stick with.


  132. Comment by Brewinman | 06.11.2007 | 10:57 am

  133. Comment by Brewinman | 06.11.2007 | 11:00 am

  134. Comment by AMG in Texas | 06.11.2007 | 11:25 am

    I cant believe I got this address: so late in this post!!! I have yet to finish the kitchen remodel so I am growing LARGER by the day… The other day, a friends 6 year old daughter gave me a hug and told her mom: “Look mommy, AMG in Texas is pregnant!!”. Kinda hard on the ego when you are not female!

    AMG in Texas

  135. Comment by DOM | 06.11.2007 | 11:41 am
    I fit in, cuz if i tin doesn’t make sense.

  136. Comment by Windbreak | 06.11.2007 | 12:17 pm
    At 6′2, 210 lbs ,and riding upright it’s true.
    At 6′2, 210 lbs, and having post-ride jaunts to the Mexican restaurant it’s true.

  137. Comment by Windbreak | 06.11.2007 | 12:17 pm
    At 6′2, 210 lbs ,and riding upright it’s true.
    At 6′2, 210 lbs, and having post-ride jaunts to the Mexican restaurant it’s true.

  138. Comment by Gordon | 06.11.2007 | 1:02 pm

  139. Comment by TimK | 06.11.2007 | 1:04 pm

    fast(at) That’s fast as in to eat frugally, not to be confused with that other kind of fast which I only get on downhills.

  140. Comment by rexinsea | 06.11.2007 | 1:09 pm

    phatdaddy @ fatcyclist dot com

    I love to bicycle, I am a father, at one time I considered myself trendy. I’m not fat…per se. Alas, I’m over 40 now and no longer as hip as I once was and now I have to work much harder to not be fat. I’m just happy to be able to ride hard and fast still.

    2ns definition of “phat” from the
    2. phat
    Phat does mean Pretty Hot And Tempting, like the other definitions say. The problem with “phat” is that it is no longer in really. It has kind of phased out and is mostly used by wannabes, lowerclassmen in high school, or middle schoolers. It is now considered a slang faux pas. I wouldn’t use it if I was you.

    14 year old: “That’s phat man.”
    22 year old: “Um, dude, that word got old in the late ’90s”

    Well I think that about sums it up in a nutshell.

  141. Comment by lyca | 06.11.2007 | 2:19 pm

    I really want velocità (meaning sweet speed in italian) but I’m not sure how to make that happen. I’m running on safari, which live doesn’t like. :( Anyhoo, that’s will be my email as soon as I can figure out how!!! :-)

  142. Comment by lyca | 06.11.2007 | 2:21 pm

    THAT will be my email. Not That’s.

  143. Comment by KatieA | 06.11.2007 | 3:45 pm

    I WAS going to make it, but thought it might be in the crude category.

    I have had a total brain block for names this morning. That, and Bike Mike stole Down Under from under me. Darn you.

  144. Comment by Placebo | 06.11.2007 | 3:48 pm

    hotblack [at] fatcyclist dot com

    If you’re Fatty’s age, you’ll get the reference. To quickly recap, Hotblack is:

    - lead of the loudest rock band in the universe
    - spending a year dead, for tax purposes
    - owner of the coolest, blackest vehicle ever (totally frictionless!), which is PURPOSE-BUILT to crash.
    - he’s portrayed as fat in the original TV series.

    Clearly, an address I gotta have.

  145. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 06.11.2007 | 5:58 pm

    I chose because when I started riding last year, I had two moments when I couldn’t twist my feet out and bruised my ego on the ground. Of course, just prior to both moments I was convinced that I was God’s gift to cycling. Pride DOES come before the fall.

  146. Comment by Egonlou | 06.12.2007 | 4:03 am

    brains like egon (ghostbusters)
    rage like lou (ferrigano as the hulk)(actually not so much, someone just thought it was funny because I don’t get angry. you won’t like me when I’m angry. well you et the point.)

  147. Comment by southtj | 06.12.2007 | 6:35 am

    See ya there!

  148. Comment by Maile in Florida | 06.12.2007 | 7:26 am

    There I was, eating my morning oatmeal and fruit (I can always eat healthy in the morning, it’s the evenings that are my Waterloo), when I realized I wanted And lo and behold, it was still available…but not anymore!

  149. Comment by Ian | 06.12.2007 | 7:37 am

  150. Comment by shavedntan | 06.12.2007 | 7:38 am

  151. Comment by Mike | 06.12.2007 | 9:10 am

    Well picked up the nickname M.O.A.B. (Mike on a bike) a few years ago. So MOAB ( at ) is almost a perfect description for me and how much I ride (and that weight thing), though recently everyone have determined that it should be Mike on a blonde instead, which I think is also quite fitting. lol

  152. Comment by Rufus | 06.12.2007 | 9:17 am

    Finally, a post after over a year of lurking.

    Realizing I could not hope to be in the same league as Fatty, dug, Rick Sunderlage (not his real name) and Company, this ode to my childhood passion and current abilities seemed apt…

  153. Comment by Badder | 06.12.2007 | 9:49 am

    I went with because I am ‘inept” a “dude” and ofcourse a “fatcyclist” fan and poster boy.

  154. Comment by Purduerose | 06.12.2007 | 10:15 am

    aspiringtobe@. . .

    just read the @ as A

  155. Comment by Greg! | 06.12.2007 | 7:54 pm

    I mean, c’mon! Who wouldn’t want to see the amazing skinny fat guy?
    It’s amazing! Skinny, yet fat… at the same time!

  156. Comment by ronk | 06.12.2007 | 8:34 pm

    My kids picked I’m about the same age and weight as you and have the same anount of hair. But I do always complain to them that I’m old, bald and fat so it fits perfectly!

  157. Comment by Rachel (Mrs. mark) | 06.12.2007 | 10:25 pm


    2 reasons: 1-Between this blog and my husband, I’m anxious to take up biking (road and mountain), and 2-I thoroughly enjoy being at

  158. Comment by Ian Hopper | 06.17.2007 | 12:30 am

    Well Eldon, I got behind on the entries, but I just got caught up, and I registered for derelicte[at]fatcyclist[dot]com. Why Derelicte? If you saw Zoolander after 9/11 and laughed as hard as I did (and who didn’t need a good laugh after 9/11) at the Derek/Hansel “Derelick my own balls” scene, you’re forever changed. Well.. there’s also the fact that my close friends also had a super messy camp at Burning Man last year called “Derelicte”, and my bicycle workspace is super “Derelicte” looking.. and other than my fabulous new Fatcyclist jersey, nearly everything I ride in is at least 10 years old… and ratty… and 10 years old… just the kind of thing you would see on a Derelicte… yeah, it just works for me.

    Thanks for (finally) sending the Ergon’s along from the Dave Nice Raffle: I didn’t know I was getting two different ones: that was a big suprise! So were the additional Banjo Bro’s small bags: I now have 3 from you! I’m trying to decide if this should accelerate the sale of my 2000 Heckler Frame and Fork, of if I should try riding the grips on that bike before I sell it…

    BTW Fatty, you’ve been part of the inspiration for my bicycle trip to Burning Man this year, and as I may have mentioned before, I’m dedicating my suffering on Carson Pass to all those with Cancer (Susan, My dad, my stepmom, my uncle, my grandmother, my aunt… the whole cancer ring in my family). You and Susan are great inspirations to me, so I say “Thank You” again!

  159. Comment by RJ | 07.20.2007 | 7:57 am

    My standard response when asked my weight:

  160. Comment by lokimikoj | 09.21.2007 | 6:59 pm


    Well done, Thanks much!

  161. Comment by | 10.24.2008 | 11:22 pm

    I just discovered this :)

    And I am so glad to hear of Susan’s news :):)) Please don’t forget to take care of yourself, Elden.

    miss (of stewOZ & miss)

  162. Comment by "Catch" lukemia | 12.17.2009 | 10:44 pm

    Within the context of school activiities, baseball, etc. his son has earned a reputation for being “strange”. Another word which could be used is “disturbed”.
    I’m afraid one day he’s going to “snap”.
    Soldier has been told in no uncertain terms to “keep your son away from my child”.
    They tell me some of these concerned parents have called Child Protective Services regarding this issue.
    Dad has showed his 7 year old son hard pornography in an attempt to ensure he doesn’t become gay. Ironically, now the boy has a fascination with penis. Appropriate, because they say dad gets excited with trannys::::He wants to lift her skirt and fondle her penis.
    He sure married the right girl.
    Dad intends to take the boy to see a prostitute.
    They say the son wants the father dead.
    Parenting classes would be in order. And a little psychoanalysis.
    The Gods tested his attraction to transsexuals by sending people by, likely during the period where he felt he had to prove he was a “real man”, ironically.
    He’s Godless and immoral, and his son may grow to be a monster because of it.


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