I have recently been notified that I am currently in violation of Blogger Bylaw 21.9.18:
“Every blogger, must, during the first week of each calendar year, provide one — or, preferably more — of the following:
- A recap of the previous year, featuring what was presumably your best blogging work during aforementioned calendar year. This is useful to readers who have a difficult time deciding for themselves what they like.
- A set of predictions for the upcoming year. This is a valuable way to describe what you would like to have happen, with no corresponding accountability for when none of those things happen, since everyone will have forgotten all about your predictions a year from now.
- A set of goals for the year, none of which you should intend to actually accomplish. This may seem like it is in direct contradiction to Steven Covey’s famous edict, “A goal not written down is only a wish,” but the truth is, a wish is still just a wish, even if you write it down. And blogs don’t really count as writing, anyway.
Evidently, I’m already on double-secret probation for never having done one of those chain-letterish “Describe five things nobody knows about you and ask five other bloggers to do the same” entries that bloggers tend to start doing when they’ve run out of things to write about.
I’m advised by the Bloggers Governance Council that if I don’t want my blogging license revoked, I’d better go ahead and adhere to this rule.
Since, however, it’s simply too difficult for me to pick out just twenty or so excellent posts from my nearly infinite brilliant posts last year, I’m going to give that one a pass. Instead, I hereby list my resolutions and predictions for 2008, in the order which they occur to me.
- Prediction: I will give away lots of great stuff. Lots of t-shirts, bottles, jerseys, food, messenger bags, and more. I love giving stuff away, and I’m going to keep doing contests.
- Goal: I will send prizes on time, or at least semi-promptly. While I love giving stuff away, I don’t love boxing stuff up and making the trip to the post office / UPS store / wherever. As a result, by the time people get their prizes from me, they’ve often forgotten they won anything. This year, I will figure out a way to get prizes to people within a month of when they win them.
- Prediction: I will give away something monstrously cool. In fact, I’ll predict even more specifically: in 2008, I will give away at least one bike. As a side goal along the same line, I’m going to try to find a way to give away at least three.
- Goal: Do something really good in the fight against cancer. Probably corresponding to these bike giveaways, I’m going to try to raise at least $10,000, which I’ll split between the Huntsman Cancer Institute and the Lance Armstrong Foundation, both of which I know, firsthand, are doing a lot of good for those fighting cancer.
- Goal / Prediction: I will mostly do what I always do. I am going to fight the urge to do a bunch of weird new stuff with this blog. Fat Cyclist has always been about the love of bikes and biking, and the love of food and eating, and the telling of stories about these things. That’s what I’m going to keep doing.
- Prediction: I will train less, eat more, and will set a new personal weight record. Last year, I lived like a monk and exercised like a mad fool. The result of which was that I still couldn’t finish the Leadville 100 in under nine hours, and I still never even won a sport-class local race. This year, I don’t feel any particular motivation to race or train a bunch. I’m going to eat what I like and ride for fun. So there.Â
- Goal: Come up with a cool lose-some-weight contest: Lots of people participated in and liked the B7 contest last year. However, lots of people who weren’t doing so well dropped out, at no penalty to them. As far as I can tell, nobody who was doing well dropped out. What a wild coincidence. This year, there will be a B7-like contest, with a few new rules that penalize sandbagging and bailing out.
- Goal: Do a Fat Cyclist trip: This year, I’d like to meet anyone who’s willing to ride with me and make the trip to Gooseberry Mesa. I bet I can get Brad to host on his property. We’ll figure out the when sometime soon.Â
- Goal: Look into a Best of Fatty book: I’ve been writing this blog for almost three years now, and between posts and comments, have well more than 3000 typed pages of content. I like the idea of gathering the best posts (and comments) and seeing if I can find a publisher. What do you think?
- Goal: Ride Tibble at least 20 times: This is my favorite trail in the world. I’m going to find a way to spend a lot of time with it.
- Goal: Ride American Fork canyon to the top of the Alpine Loop at least 30 times: Right out my front door, I have access to this remarkable mountain pass. It’s beautiful, challenging, and — depending on how hard you push yourself — remarkably painful. I look forward to riding it at least 30 times between Spring and Fall.
- Goal / Prediction: Do something bizarrely stupid: Every once in a while, I like to test myself with something that I know I won’t enjoy, just to see if I can force myself to do it. Right now, I’m thinking maybe I’ll do a century on the rollers.
- Goal: Find a way to incorporate biking with the girls into my training: My twins love biking with me. If I find a way to make that love a part of my own rides, I’ll have biking partners for life. If I don’t, I am a fool.
- Goal: Find a way, somehow, to get my boys to like biking: With my boys being 12 and 14 and not caring even a little bit about bikes, maybe it’s just not going to happen. But I’m going to make a push for it this year.Â
- Goal: Do the stuff I told Travis Ott I would do in order to get that Superfly: A while back, I asked Fisher Bikes brand manager Travis Ott to give me a Fisher Superfly. He said he would, but gave me his own set of conditions. Most of those conditions are going to have to wait until Spring, but I still plan to do them.
- Prediction: I will buy larger pants: With the give-up attitude toward dieting I’m bringing to this season, I’m going to need to buy larger clothes in general, but especially pants.
- Prediction: I will launch a new kind of “open letter to…” It will be bizarre, and it will be soon. In fact, I’ll do it next week. I have no idea whether it will be funny.
- Goal: Do a site redesign. I’m not the only one getting sick of the purple and orange, am I?Â
- Goal: Write more about food: I’ve been paying far too much attention to the “cyclist” part of “Fat Cyclist.” I can’t even remember the last time I wrote about cheese, and I don’t think I’ve ever written about my love of curry or my ability to drink an entire bottle of Cholula in one motion. That’s just sad. (Note to self: videotape and YouTube-ize me drinking a bottle of Cholula.)
- Goal: Shave my head more often: Currently, you can tell what day of the week it is by looking at my head. If I’m shiny, it must be Sunday. If I look like I’m in the military, it must be Friday. I shall henceforth shave my head on Sundays and Wednesdays.Â Â
- Prediction: I will complete the most awesome bike stable ever. I have a couple bike stable updates coming soonish. You’re all going to be so jealous!
- Goal: Find a home for the teeter:Â I loved building the teeter, but I have got to get rid of it, or a neighbor kid’s going to die. Anyone know of a home for a top-notch bike teeter in Utah? Free!
- Goal: Be thankful for my readers: I shall continue to take you for granted, but I will at least try to be nice about it.Â