“Like Dandelion Seeds”

05.1.2008 | 10:01 pm

Susan’s been doing worse these past two or three weeks. It started with an inability to sleep, an inability that has become so stubborn that she couldn’t sleep even when we stacked Lunesta on top of Ativan.

And then the shakes would start, and the inability to hold still.

In the past few days, she’s lost the ability to focus on anything at all, even for a moment, and her coordination is gone. Susan, who has a gift for making beautiful jewelry from silver wire she bends into intricate chains and patterns, is no longer able to tie her shoelace or make a sandwich.

She gets lost on the way from the bathroom to the bed.

Severe depression is common after chemo or between rounds of chemo; the doctors said that’s what this is, and gave Susan anti-depression medication.

Today, though, they did an MRI of her brain, just in case. Afterward, Susan and I drove home, with the Doctor’s promise that he’d call as soon as he knew anything.

We got a call at precisely the moment we arrived home. We needed to go back to the Doctor’s.

“Now?”

“Yes, now.”

There’s no patient in the world who doesn’t instantly know that the news is bad if the Doctor wants to talk to you face to face. And you know it’s extra bad if the Doctor is staying late to talk to you the same day the tests are taken.

The only mysteries then — the ones we talked about on the way to the Doctor — were: how bad would it be? what were our options going to be?

I want to take a moment to say what a great person this particular Doctor we met with today is. He gave up his lunch hour to meet with us in the first place, and then stayed late to meet with us again the same day, so we wouldn’t have to wait another day in dread. At the end of our meeting with him, he gave me his personal cell phone number, with the instructions that I should call him tonight — no matter what time — if things get worse.

That is very unusual for a doctor to do.

Susan doesn’t have just one tumor in her brain, or a few. “There are too many to count,” the Doctor said. “They’re scattered through your brain like dandelion seeds.”

Susan hasn’t cried yet; I only have a little. We’re used to the notion of countless tumors in vital organs. And there’s a measure of relief in knowing what we’re fighting now, instead of being on the endless sleep aid / antidepressant merry-go-round.

For tonight, Seroquel and Ativan to help Susan sleep (at this moment she is in fact asleep, which is the best thing to happen today), plus some steroids to hopefully shrink the tumors to the point that Susan can get back her lucidity.

Tomorrow, we consult with the oncologist. I’m guessing there will be some radiation coming up right away, followed by chemo.

We haven’t given up. We’re not giving up. But I am scared.

340 Comments

  1. Comment by Frizzlefry | 05.1.2008 | 10:19 pm

    I just read your post and wept for you. I have no idea what to say, except that we all love you and we love Susan. Thank you for letting us be a part of your lives. I’m sure everyone is praying for both of you, your children, and your extended families. You are strong enough for this. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

  2. Comment by Randy | 05.1.2008 | 10:41 pm

    Elden:

    I am terribly sorry for the frightening news. But please know that, in addition to your family and close friends, everyone who reads your blog is pulling for both you and Susan.

    Stay strong, guy. And best wishes to you both.

  3. Comment by Abby | 05.1.2008 | 10:43 pm

    My family’s and my thoughts & prayers are with you & Susan, Fatty. Far out – there is nothing else I can say that seems adequate….

    Stay strong guys…..

  4. Comment by Lins - Aust | 05.1.2008 | 10:49 pm

    More positive vibes needed in Susan’s direction? They’re on their way right now.

  5. Comment by Elaine | 05.1.2008 | 10:54 pm

    As a new to cycling enthusiast, I have enjoyed your blogs entries so much. I never expected to add you, Susan and children in my heart as extended family. My heart is heavy with this newest update on Susan’s battle. Know that my prayers and meditation time will join with others to send healing energies your way.

  6. Comment by Anthony | 05.1.2008 | 10:54 pm

    Thought and Prayers from California. I know you won’t stop fighting, that’s the only way to go. I know Susan will beat this thing, even from the few words I have read of her. Take care.

  7. Comment by Jared | 05.1.2008 | 10:55 pm

    My already emotional week just got more so. Even though I’ve spent years learning to counsel people, things like this leave me breathless. Though I don’t do it enough, I certainly will pray – and pray hard – for you both and all those around you.

  8. Comment by Travis | 05.1.2008 | 10:57 pm

    Our positive thoughts, vibes, prayers, wishes and anything else constructive I force your way, are coming from us, for you both and anyone who is connected to you.

  9. Comment by Secret Trainer | 05.1.2008 | 11:27 pm

    Mate, it’s all going to be good in the end.

  10. Comment by emily | 05.1.2008 | 11:28 pm

    big hugs and *tons* of prayers for all of y’all . . . .

  11. Comment by trio | 05.1.2008 | 11:36 pm

    Words will never be enough, but I wanted to say I am thinking of you and your family. I look forward to reading your blog everyday. I hope that soon Susan is in a little less pain and able to make her jewelry again.

  12. Comment by PBA | 05.1.2008 | 11:45 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for over a year and I’ve not been compelled to write before now.
    I wish you and your family the very best. Things can still turn out well no matter how bleak it seems right now.

  13. Comment by Chris | 05.1.2008 | 11:50 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of years now. I’m not a cyclist (I run instead, I know you may feel that’s a bit mad) but I know where you’re coming from.

    I don’t often comment on blogs but I just wanted to wish you my best. I went through a similar situation last year with my mother in law so I know something of how you’re feeling.

    All the best

  14. Comment by cricketk | 05.2.2008 | 12:07 am

    I don’t think I’ve commented here before, but I’ve been reading for more than a year.

    Just… all my best wishes and hopes are with you and Susan.

  15. Comment by hana | 05.2.2008 | 12:11 am

    Praying for you, Susan and your family.

  16. Comment by Steve | 05.2.2008 | 12:33 am

    I am a relative newcomer to your blog, but over the last 6 months or so it has become a regular part of my day and something I really look forward to. Through your words I feel that I have come to know you and Susan, so to read your post this morning really shook me and brought a lump to my throat.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both, keep the faith and be strong.

  17. Comment by stewOZ & miss | 05.2.2008 | 12:33 am

    Please stay strong & remember that there are so many people who are wishing all the very best for you and Susan…

  18. Comment by MikeQ | 05.2.2008 | 12:39 am

    If prayers alone could change the world, you would have only tears of joy.

    You give so much joy to so many and we weep in frustration because we cannot give it back.

    Just name the way in which we can help and you will be buried under an avalanche of love. In the meantime, I’m off to send some money to the Lance Armstrong Foundation, as per your suggestion yesterday.

    You, Susan and your children will always rest in the hands of the Lord.

  19. Comment by buckythedonkey | 05.2.2008 | 12:44 am

    Mate, sending you all our love and a big hug. We know that Susan and your family can beat this thing and win this fight.

  20. Comment by TheGreatGatsby | 05.2.2008 | 1:00 am

    Dude, my sincerest heart felt sympathies go out to you both. I have been reading your blog for a while now and it strikes a chord with me. I am a road cyclist and member of the Livestrong foundation as numerous family members and friends have passed due to cancer in various forms. Its something very close to my heart that, although not afflicted by cancer I am affected by it and so can empathize with your situation. I gave up a prominent road racing career due to an onset of a personal illness that I still struggle with and now no longer race. I choose to dedicate as much time as I can to do charity rides for Cancer awareness of different guises and find, like I guess this blogs does with you, its a kind of therapy.

    I only hope you come both come through this and can feed off the strength in your relationship, friendships and posts of everybody on here.

    Thoughts are with you both.

    Livestrong

    Gats

  21. Comment by Maddy | 05.2.2008 | 1:03 am

    Dearest Fatty,

    I’m thinking of you and Susan with much love. Although you often write about how hard and scary it can be to write about Susan’s cancer, it not only helps you both, but it helps us all understand as well, and from that understanding, awareness and action are made possible – we are all behind you both.

  22. Comment by john | 05.2.2008 | 1:08 am

    Elden, what a shock. Be strong, good thoughts to you, Susan and your family.

  23. Comment by Anna | 05.2.2008 | 1:44 am

    My prayers are with you and your family.

  24. Comment by john | 05.2.2008 | 1:50 am

    I share your pain. My wife has a terminal disorder and
    the questions a 5 year asks can really tear you apart.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  25. Comment by Slowracer | 05.2.2008 | 2:01 am

    Dear Fatty and family.
    We are thinking of you and hoping that you all cope with Susans’ recent news.Thank you for sharing it with us.
    I cycle with a tough bunch of guys (up to 10 of us)and we get ‘revved up’ by reading your blog.
    We are all very moved by this recent update on Susan. We promise to keep up the positive vibe and I hope that in some way it will help.
    Best wishes from Scotland.
    ‘Slowy’

  26. Comment by Kristen | 05.2.2008 | 2:08 am

    I’m sending many thoughts and prayers your way from Pennsylvania. Both you and Susan are truly inspirational and the fight that you two have is simply amazing. Be strong, you will make it thru.

  27. Comment by Hamish A | 05.2.2008 | 2:14 am

    Finally stopped crying enough to get some words here. I am so terribly sorry for everything you all are going through. I’ve never met you but if I feel how I do just from reading your Blog I can’t even begin to imagine what this is like for you.

    You’re both incredibly strong and obviously fighters, Susan can and will lick this. Every single one of us is pulling and praying for her, you and the children.

    Whatever you need Elden – tell us. There’s enough of us here for you to make almost anything happen. Just say the word if there is anything at all we can do.

    My love to you all.

  28. Comment by Uncadan8 | 05.2.2008 | 2:17 am

    My heart cries…

  29. Comment by Mike Roadie | 05.2.2008 | 2:43 am

    Elden:

    I don’t know what to say. That is because you already know what I, and all the others here, are thinking and feeling.

    I was intrigued by the title of the Post today; not sure what it would be about after yesterday’s “Tri-athalon”. But I never expected this; not ever.

    I cried as I read along, and then let out a sorrowful, “Oh, my God!”. My wife came rushing in to ask me what was the matter; but I couldn’t speak. I feel exactly the same way that I felt when I had to deal with my father’s cancer.

    He lost his battle; Susan will win!!!

    This is why I (we) do what we do–and why we must continue.

    Everyone, please help support our Susan and everyone else who needs and will need our help. Help me raise $50,000 for the LAF as a show of strength, hope and support!

    http://bayarea08.livestrong.org/mike

    God bless you all…..and know that there is love to Susan all around the world!!!

  30. Comment by Jim | 05.2.2008 | 2:45 am

    Praying for you and your family…

  31. Comment by Amanda Dunn | 05.2.2008 | 2:55 am

    I have only been reading your site for a short time, but I have never been so moved by a person’s honesty, and willingness to let the public into their lives.
    To that end, you have become a friend and an inspiration to many. I am so sorry to hear the recent news. I know you are strong, and will continue to fight, I hope you know you have a huge base of support to draw from. It may be of little comfort to know right now, but my prayer are with you.

  32. Comment by Uphill Battle | 05.2.2008 | 3:00 am

    Elden,
    I’m storming heaven with prayers for healing and strength. I wish there was more that I could do.

  33. Comment by Mauricio | 05.2.2008 | 3:01 am

    the strenght of you two is inspiring. I hope the best for your whole family. dont know what else to say… you are in my thoughts (not religious, otherwise you would be in my every prayer)

  34. Comment by Medstudentitis | 05.2.2008 | 3:01 am

    You and your family are in my thoughts. I hope that the support of your friends can give you strength on this tragic day.

  35. Comment by Sprocketboy | 05.2.2008 | 3:03 am

    I have been reading this blog for several years and have participated as a poster and an entrant in the B7 Challenge. I have enjoyed reading about the ups and downs in Fatty’s World, written so stylishly, and there is truly a sense of community, or even family. This latest news is distressing and, like so many of the Fat Cyclist’s friends around the world, I send my very best wishes and hopes for the future.

    Sprocketboy

  36. Comment by Duane | 05.2.2008 | 3:06 am

    We will keep: Susan, you and your family in our thoughts in prayers.

    D

  37. Comment by bikemike | 05.2.2008 | 3:10 am

    the testament of a persons character is how they handle adversity, you and Susan have done this time and time again. love and hope are what we all wish for your family. we don’t give up, we won’t give up.

    also, throw rocks off Dugs house, you’ll feel better.

  38. Comment by highwaymunky | 05.2.2008 | 3:17 am

    Elden,
    I’m so sorry, I’ll be praying for you all. I hope Susan feels better tomorrow. Keep fighting, just keep fighting. All the best to you and your family.
    Regards,
    Rob.

  39. Comment by Swedoz | 05.2.2008 | 3:18 am

    Stay strong and keep crying when you need to. All my best thoughts and wishes. I think both of you are just amazing people.

  40. Comment by FliesOnly | 05.2.2008 | 3:20 am

    There’s not much to be said that has not already been said. Keep positive….there is always hope.

  41. Comment by Dre | 05.2.2008 | 3:23 am

    I will keep Susan in my heart and prayers as well. Stay strong and Love each other REAL LOVE AND FAITH give strength (and we all know you have both). My heart goes out to you.

  42. Comment by Petite Chèvre | 05.2.2008 | 3:23 am

    Your families strength, determination and optimism are an inspiration and will see you through this next curve in the road. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Best,

    sjm

  43. Comment by Philly Jen | 05.2.2008 | 3:26 am

    Oh my. Love to you all, and here’s one more person on your side.

  44. Comment by Rox | 05.2.2008 | 3:28 am

    I can’t imagine how you are both feeling right now. I was shocked and devastated when I read your blog today. I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now and feel like you have let us into your family. As any strong family does we will stick together and be there for you. Just tell us what you need. Hang in there buddy and remember to look at where you want to go, not where you don’t want to go.

  45. Comment by aussie kev | 05.2.2008 | 3:31 am

    i will wear my fat cyclist t shirt whilst i ride tomorrow, my thoughts are with you and susan,

    k

  46. Comment by philocyclist | 05.2.2008 | 3:38 am

    Shit, Fatty, I’m so sorry. I’ll be keeping good thoughts for both of you.

  47. Comment by John | 05.2.2008 | 3:38 am

    Elden-

    Good luck in the coming weeks and months. If there were anything us readers could do other than send positive thoughts and prayers, I know we would. My thoughts are with you guys.

    -John

  48. Comment by lady clay | 05.2.2008 | 3:43 am

    Crap. I am so, so sorry. I know there’s not much I can do, but if you need anything in Atlanta let me know.

  49. Comment by Kim | 05.2.2008 | 3:49 am

    I think this is only my second time commenting here, but like the comments above I’ve been reading and appreciating your blog for a while.

    We’re pulling for you. Love and earnest wishes for strength and comfort from across the Pacific.

  50. Comment by from ellicott city | 05.2.2008 | 3:52 am

    Although I have never left any comments, I’ve been a fan of your blog for quite sometime now.
    I have been amazed by the strength you and Susan have shown in the past. This is a terrible news, but I know you guys have the strength to get through it!
    Susan, my prayers are with you and your family.

  51. Comment by Steve | 05.2.2008 | 3:58 am

    Been reading your blog 3 years now, never commented. Be strong, stay diligent and know that thousands of people are praying for your family. There will be brighter days. Steve and family in Georgia

  52. Comment by Ant | 05.2.2008 | 4:04 am

    Elden & Susan – I am very sad to hear this latest development.

    You’ve caught it early, and done the right thing by getting straight to the doctor. Given the awesome medical support that you have, this can only be a good thing.

    The road is still long and tough, but God knows if anyone can do it, you guys can.

    Stay strong, and remember all the good things and times that have happened so far this year. They will happen again.

  53. Comment by pugdog | 05.2.2008 | 4:09 am

    Let me join the crowd of well wishers here. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

  54. Comment by Renato | 05.2.2008 | 4:10 am

    What a shock, Fatty. I came down at the end of the post. I’m so sorry and I’ve no words to say. God bless all you and I hope thah Susan win this battle.

    Renato

  55. Comment by Robert | 05.2.2008 | 4:12 am

    I dont know your particular flavor of religious beliefs, but I will have you and yours in our prayers.

  56. Comment by MonsieurM | 05.2.2008 | 4:13 am

    Terrible news… but be strong. My thoughts are with you.

  57. Comment by TheLurker | 05.2.2008 | 4:19 am

    Words fail me. I hope everything turns out well for you all.

  58. Comment by Keith Jackson | 05.2.2008 | 4:32 am

    Don’t know how much you have cried but I’m crying for you now. Your family has been in my prayers for months and will continue to be.

    I faced the same “doctor talk” about my 10 yr old daughter. He gave us his home phone and his cell phone. With all the emotions and confusing its a comfort knowing someone like that is truely in your corner.

    You’ve made me laugh many times and know you have me crying…

  59. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 05.2.2008 | 4:39 am

    I said a prayer for you today. We’re all fighting for a win for Susan. I hope you all get some well deserved rest.

  60. Comment by Jackie | 05.2.2008 | 4:42 am

    Our thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. Jackie & John (United Kingdom)

  61. Comment by Southsiderpgh | 05.2.2008 | 4:44 am

    Your blog has been part of my morning routine for several months now. Your stories have helped get me and my extra poundage out on my bike, which has improved my spirits so much. I wish I could do something to return the favor.

    Sending you best wishes from Pittsburgh.

  62. Comment by Robert | 05.2.2008 | 4:45 am

    Keep up the fight, we will keep susan in our prayers

  63. Comment by Wes | 05.2.2008 | 4:55 am

    My heart is crying… Be strong, Fatty…

  64. Comment by Susan (another one) | 05.2.2008 | 5:01 am

    Crap.

    Crap, crap, crap.

    I wish there was something I could do.

  65. Comment by Cousin Eddie | 05.2.2008 | 5:02 am

    praying

  66. Comment by Den | 05.2.2008 | 5:02 am

    Words fail me…

    All I can say to you is, every day is a gift.

    You’re in my prayers.

  67. Comment by Big Boned | 05.2.2008 | 5:03 am

    Fatty,
    Obviously a hard day…as an endurance cyclist you know that there are times during a long race where thing just plain suck. You think about tossing it all in…but you don’t. You keep grinding it out and before you know it there in the distance is the cheering crowd and the finish line.
    You guys keep grinding it out. We’ll keep cheering (praying, hoping and waiting for good news). In the end you’ll have a great memory of challenges overcome. An epic battle won.
    Lifting Susan, the kids and you in prayer.
    Big Boned

  68. Comment by Boz | 05.2.2008 | 5:04 am

    If I was in this situation, I’m not sure I would even have the strength to sit down and tell the world about it. You and Susan are tough, and set an example to other as to how to live in terrible times.
    All my hopes.

  69. Comment by turnonthejets | 05.2.2008 | 5:05 am

    Win! As others have already said and I’m sure you both already know. You have our energy. I wish there was something more we all could do. Keep your chins up!

  70. Comment by KnottedYet | 05.2.2008 | 5:07 am

    We love you guys.

  71. Comment by Lifesgreat | 05.2.2008 | 5:10 am

    I read about your’s and Susan’s yesterday and cried.
    You, Susan and the kids are strong. Keep fighting!
    Thank you for sharing with us so we can pray with/for you.

  72. Comment by XCTiger | 05.2.2008 | 5:12 am

    You, Susan, and the Kids are in our prayers and thoughts.

    Love from upstate NY.

  73. Comment by Stomper | 05.2.2008 | 5:14 am

    Dear Fatty,

    My thoughts are with you and Susan.

    Be strong.

    Karl aka Stomper

  74. Comment by pedalgeek | 05.2.2008 | 5:15 am

    I started reading your blog because of a common passion for cycling and food. Along the way I was blessed with the opportunity to ‘get to know’ you and your family. You have touched a community deeply with your funny tales of adventure and mishap. This is Susan’s Leadville and I’m rooting for her….along with the support crew of Fat Cyclist Readers. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  75. Comment by Rachel J | 05.2.2008 | 5:16 am

    More positive vibes going your way. The way you write about your family is very touching. You and Susan are obviously a very special couple. I wish no one had to go through what you are going through.

  76. Comment by Turt99 | 05.2.2008 | 5:19 am

    Wow, you have my thoughts and prayers.

  77. Comment by Nathan | 05.2.2008 | 5:19 am

    I will pray for your kids because I know what it is like for your Mom to have cancer. I will pray for you because I saw what it did to my Dad. I will pray for your wife even though I don’t understand what it must be like for her.

  78. Comment by Jon | 05.2.2008 | 5:24 am

    I am a new cycle enthusiast who has been lurking on many of these blogs. I have enjoyed reading about everyone’s adventures. This is one that i wish you and Susan didn’t have to be on. They say that everything happens for a reason. I think that bunk. There are just some things that shouldn’t happen. My thoughts are with you all as you continue to fight through this. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to support / help.

  79. Comment by Kalidurga | 05.2.2008 | 5:28 am

    Everything I thought of to say has already been said above, so I’ll just add my love for you and your family, and my prayers.

  80. Comment by jason | 05.2.2008 | 5:30 am

    Fatty:

    Our faith and courage is amazing. You are inspiration to those of us who are going through our own trials. Keep it up.

    Jason

  81. Comment by Born 4Lycra 43 11 N 2 32 W | 05.2.2008 | 5:31 am

    Bollocks to the Cancer. At least the oncologist now knows what the target is. Team FC are winners so this is just something else to beat. You can do it and will do it – we love you Susan and we send all our positive thoughts – Go Girl and WIN. FC if there is anything we can do to help sing out someone or many of us in the FC Army will be able to help I’m sure.
    Livestrong – feel the love.

  82. Comment by Gary Boulanger | 05.2.2008 | 5:35 am

    Elden & Susan: Not many words can be said at times like these, but it’s wonderful that you love each other dearly and have people around the world cheering for you. My family and I are pulling for you, and hope that all the love pouring in will have its affect.

  83. Comment by sans auto | 05.2.2008 | 5:36 am

    We’re praying for you….. Even my 5 year old remembers to pray for “Fatty’s family”. God know’s you as ‘Fatty’, right?

  84. Comment by charliebrown | 05.2.2008 | 5:42 am

    Dig deep, Elden and Susan!

  85. Comment by Noah | 05.2.2008 | 5:42 am

    Oh man. So sorry to hear. You’re all in our prayers. I’ll spread the word.

  86. Comment by neca | 05.2.2008 | 5:46 am

    I wish I had words of comfort but I can’t think of anything to say other than I am so sorry and I am praying for you & your family.

  87. Comment by TomE | 05.2.2008 | 5:46 am

    Fatty,
    We all wish we had those “magical” words that would make this horrible situation better. Instead, please know that we are thinking about you from Denver.
    Tom

  88. Comment by purduerose | 05.2.2008 | 5:50 am

    I’ll send big hugs your way. I’m rooting for Susan.

  89. Comment by Richard | 05.2.2008 | 5:50 am

    Our prayers and thoughts are with you. Hang in there, we love ya both.

  90. Comment by SurlyCommuter | 05.2.2008 | 5:52 am

    WIN Elden. WIN Susan.
    I took the singlespeed out on Tuesday for a spin on the Pipleline trail. It was my first time on this trail riding the SS and I was a bit scared. You see the Pipeline isn’t pretty,twisting fast singletrack – its a double track scar ripped across the beautiful Cherry Valley with a 10′ water pipe sometime buried sometimes exposed as your only constant company. The hills are steep, long, rocky and constant – specifically the last jaunt up from Kelly Road. Two switchbacks, loose from the recent rains, two switchbacks at about 18%, two switchbacks to the top. I rose out of the saddle at the bottom of the hill(its either stand up and turn ‘em over or get off and push) and began to climb. My wheels slipped in the mud, the rocks gave way and many times it felt like my effort was wasted; too much weight forward and the rear tire spun – too much weight back and the front tire starts to dance. It was tough, but I was making progress. The pitch increases dramatically at the first switchback and as I strained to make it up and around a strange thing happened, just as I though I couldn’t turn the pedal over one more time – the grade relented, the traction got better, its still steep but somehow easier. I couldn’t quit now, only one more switchback to go! The second was like the first, vicious, unrelenting, but not boundless – I got over that one too, let out a whoop (ok, more of a snot garbled grunt) and soft pedaled until my heart rate monitor calmed down.
    I cannot imagine the climb you are facing, but I pray you get those little respites in between the Herculean efforts that let you know your making progress and keep you from quitting.
    Res Firma Mitescere Nescit – and God Bless

  91. Comment by MentatBiker | 05.2.2008 | 5:54 am

    “Luminouse beings are we, not this crude matter”
    The spirit will always overcome. Hang tough. Much love.

  92. Comment by Cheasty | 05.2.2008 | 5:54 am

    Praying for you both.

  93. Comment by Canadian Roadie | 05.2.2008 | 5:55 am

    I’m so sorry about this news. More healing thoughts to you Susan.

  94. Comment by cyclostu | 05.2.2008 | 5:56 am

    So sorry to hear the news. My wife and I will be in prayer for you and your family.

  95. Comment by BamaJim | 05.2.2008 | 5:58 am

    Praying for healing for Susan, and peace for all of the family. May God bless.

    Jim

  96. Comment by Pioneer Woman | 05.2.2008 | 5:58 am

    Crying for you…praying for you…my heart is heavy.

  97. Comment by Mel | 05.2.2008 | 6:00 am

    Love & hope is all I have to offer, but plenty of both.

    Like many others here I read regularly & haven’t commented before but I couldn’t not say something today.

    M x

  98. Comment by Wayne | 05.2.2008 | 6:08 am

    You are loved.
    Be of good courage.
    Love never fails.

  99. Comment by GenghisKhan | 05.2.2008 | 6:08 am

    Your doctor was tragically, powerfully and emotively poetic when he told Susan, “They’re scattered through your brain like dandelion seeds.”

    I felt it. I’m sorry. Godspeed to Susan, you, your family and your friends.

    GK

  100. Comment by josh | 05.2.2008 | 6:17 am

    God Fatty – I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say to demonstrate my admiration of your courage and strength. Be well and keep fighting.

  101. Comment by Tez | 05.2.2008 | 6:19 am

    No words can ease the pain you both must be feeling but as you said you know what you are fighting and remember that Susan is not dying from cancer but living with it! Stay positive! Healing thoughts heading your way!

  102. Comment by KeepYerBag | 05.2.2008 | 6:22 am

    I’ve been sitting here for 45 minutes weeping and trying to think of something comforting to say.

    Words fail me.

    My heart is with you, though, and my family and I shall continue to pray for Susan and your fine family.

    Peace be with you, Elden. Peace and comfort be with Susan. Keep up the good fight.

  103. Comment by vertigo | 05.2.2008 | 6:23 am

    Our prayers are with you all.

  104. Comment by Chris C | 05.2.2008 | 6:24 am

    Elden,

    I never post, but read every day and my thoughts and prayers are with Susan and you.

    Stay strong!

  105. Comment by Age Grouper | 05.2.2008 | 6:27 am

    Although most of us do not know you personally, we have shared in the good times and the not-so-good times of Susan’s illness through your blog. You both have incredible strength, not only to face her illness, but to keep on going with the other aspects of your lives. I know that my wife and I were not able to do that several years ago with a sick young adult son. I will be thinking of you both in these next few days and weeks. May the Supreme Being of your choice hold you both in his/her arms.

  106. Comment by fuzzy | 05.2.2008 | 6:29 am

    I’m a recent inductee into the halls of ‘The Fat Cyclist Blog’ but have been inspired by your openess and courage.

    Positive vibes to Susan and you from a stranger in the UK.

    fuzzy.

  107. Comment by Lazy Bike Commuter | 05.2.2008 | 6:33 am

    I don’t know what to say other than offering my prayers and condolences. I am praying for the best for you–just remember that you guys aren’t alone in this.

  108. Comment by Blorgh | 05.2.2008 | 6:34 am

    I also cried when I read this. I wish you and susan strength and courage to face what is ahead of you. My thoughts are with you both.

  109. Comment by guzzijason | 05.2.2008 | 6:34 am

    Some roller coaster ride, this thing called life.

    I’m sending my best thoughts and wishes for Susan and your whole family. Hang in there.

  110. Comment by UtRacerDad | 05.2.2008 | 6:35 am

    Our Prayer’s are with you Elden. Yours and Susan’s courage is absolutely amazing and inspiring.

  111. Comment by mike | 05.2.2008 | 6:35 am

    Stay strong guys. We’re ALL thinking for you and your family.

  112. Comment by tschmidty | 05.2.2008 | 6:42 am

    One of the hardest things to do is be the strong one and try to hold things together when Susan, the kids and you’re extended family needs you. I know you can and will do it, but don’t get too caught up in being the strong one, accept the help your friends and family are undoubtedly offering. It’s another thing you can actually do for them, allow them to help so you can spend as much time as you can to help Susan. God bless and good luck, we’re all pulling for her.

  113. Comment by Anonymous | 05.2.2008 | 6:43 am

    This post leaves me searching for words but I don’t think I can do my thoughts justice. Stay strong Fatty, Susan, and family. Positive vibes and thoughts your way.

  114. Comment by F8th637 | 05.2.2008 | 6:47 am

    Count me in as another one deeply saddened by this news. Hang in there, Elden, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and Susan and your kids. Big, heartfelt hugs to you all!

  115. Comment by UltraRob | 05.2.2008 | 6:50 am

    Elden, I’m so saddened to hear this. I’ll be praying for Susan and you.

  116. Comment by Jeremiah | 05.2.2008 | 6:50 am

    Rachel and my prayers are with you and Susan. Nothing I can write in a blog comment can do your situation justice. Just know we care.

    JAU

  117. Comment by Bryan (not that one) | 05.2.2008 | 6:54 am

    Elden, my wife and I are praying for you, Susan, and the kids.

    Psalm 31:24 – Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

  118. Comment by TIMK | 05.2.2008 | 6:55 am

    This hurts; especially as I have grown, like so many readers, to know that the Nelson family’s love and joy is itself not unlike “dandelion seeds” scattered throughout the world because you take the time to share so much with all of us.
    Thoughts and prayers.

  119. Comment by chtrich | 05.2.2008 | 6:55 am

    Ah snap! I can’t even think of anything to else to say. So sorry to hear about this.

  120. Comment by randomhigh | 05.2.2008 | 6:56 am

    My prayers are with Susan and your family.

  121. Comment by Garrett | 05.2.2008 | 6:56 am

    Shit this post gave me chills, you know there’s a huge group of people supporting you guys. We’re all in this together.

  122. Comment by Chuck | 05.2.2008 | 6:58 am

    I’m very sorry to hear this and I wish the best for you and your family.

  123. Comment by graisseux | 05.2.2008 | 7:01 am

    I don’t know you other than what I’ve read on this blog, but I do know prayer works and I’m praying for you and your family.

  124. Comment by mtnbker | 05.2.2008 | 7:03 am

    Fatty and Family,
    As I read this in my office (sporting my FC shirt) I actually hurt. I find your strength and honesty incredibly inspiring. I just feel so useless – these words are just words. Please let us help. What can we do?

    Much Love

  125. Comment by Bravo Delta | 05.2.2008 | 7:05 am

    Elden, I don’t have the words. May God grant you strength and an extra measure of faith to get through this most difficult time. *sigh*

    Bravo Delta

  126. Comment by Matt M. | 05.2.2008 | 7:08 am

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve been a faithful reader of this blog for a while now, but I’ve never commented. Best of luck in this difficult time.

  127. Comment by RoadRage | 05.2.2008 | 7:11 am

    I offer my heartfelt sympathy for your pain; my prayers for comfort and peace in your spirit; and my hopes towards your courage and strength through this ordeal.

  128. Comment by mikeb | 05.2.2008 | 7:16 am

    My prayers are with your family.

  129. Comment by joel | 05.2.2008 | 7:16 am

    There is nothing I can say. My hopes are with you and Susan.

  130. Comment by rick | 05.2.2008 | 7:19 am

    Ah man. Good luck to Susan and your family as you fight.

  131. Comment by Jacob | 05.2.2008 | 7:21 am

    Be strong. It’s impossible to ask for that, but you must.

    Thoughts, prayers, and best wishes for comfort and healing from Alabama.

  132. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 05.2.2008 | 7:22 am

    I feel like I’ve been sucker-punched in the gut. My heart aches for you, Susan and your children. It’s so hard to try and understand why things happen. Why did Susan get cancer? Why did my wife get it? Why do so many people in this world suffer in so many ways?

    When I get bogged down with these questions, I have to rely on faith that something better lies ahead for us – that God uses times like this to give us clarity and understanding of what is to come. I pray that you and your family may find peace in the midst of the chaos and fear.

  133. Comment by Dutch Girlie On a Bike | 05.2.2008 | 7:22 am

    Fight it. Tell it to F*** off. This post brought tears to my eyes–the love you have for Susan comes through in your words. We are all here with you, fighting for you, not knowing what to say but wanting to try anyway……

  134. Comment by Lisa B | 05.2.2008 | 7:24 am

    You’re in all our hearts and thoughts, Fatty. I’m glad Susan was able get some sleep and I hope her “dandelion seeds” will be plucked before too long. Weed and feed!

  135. Comment by Leslie | 05.2.2008 | 7:24 am

    This is devastating news. I’m so, so sorry. Please also remember to take good care of yourself–and to ask for help when you need it–during this difficult time and the days ahead. My best wishes to you and your family.

  136. Comment by Our Monmoouth | 05.2.2008 | 7:30 am

    Fatty-
    While I struggle to write this comment I can only image the intensity of emotion you and Susan are experiencing. It is easy to loose perspective of what is important.

    The compassion and support are abundant in these comments and I hope they help you find some comfort and strength to navigate through this.

    My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

  137. Comment by julie | 05.2.2008 | 7:35 am

    I am sending positive thoughts to you and your family. You and Susan are the strongest and most remarkable people. Stay strong.

  138. Comment by Daddystyle | 05.2.2008 | 7:37 am

    After reading over the years we have had a chance to share some good times. We’re still here with you now.
    Friends do not abondon friends in time of need.

    My family and I are thinking of you. Carpe Diem

    Love the Stanhope’s

  139. Comment by Paul | 05.2.2008 | 7:41 am

    My prayers are with you and Susan, never give up!

  140. Comment by eclecticdeb | 05.2.2008 | 7:41 am

    Elden, It’s okay to cry. When my Mom’s BC mets were diagnosed, we cried for days. Thankfully we were given 2 more years with her before she passed away on December 1. During that time, there were lot’s of tears, joy, sadness, and anger. Nothing puts your faith in God to the test like watching a loved one suffer and realizing that there’s nothing you can do. But of course, I don’t have to tell you this.

    I love you and your family, but I hate the fact that we (and so many others) have this connection. I wish there was something I could do to help ease the burden of your family’s pain.

    I won’t tell you to “be strong”, because I know that’s probably the last thing you are feeling like right now. Just “be”. You have lot’s of people out here “being” with you.

  141. Comment by lyne | 05.2.2008 | 7:44 am

    Words fail me again to express how sorry I am. I wish I could do something, anything to help. The only thing I can do is send my prayers and thoughts to the family.

  142. Comment by Caren | 05.2.2008 | 7:48 am

    I put on my Pink Lemonade jersey this morning even though I was going for a walk. My husband questioned me; I told him I just thought I needed to wear it…

    Then I logged on and read last night’s post. The tears seeped from my eyes. I had to walk away before I could read through the comments. I started writing, got angry and had to walk away again.

    I am at a loss for what to say other than whatever you need, whenever you need it…just say the word. Geographical distance cannot stop us from supporting you!

    BTW – This is part of the reason why I am walking in the San Diego Breast Cancer 3-Day 60-mile walk again this year! My husband is joining my this year! This terrible disease WILL NOT WIN!!!

  143. Comment by Miles Archer | 05.2.2008 | 7:49 am

    Eldon,

    I don’t know you or Susan, but that’s not keeping me from crying.

  144. Comment by bradk | 05.2.2008 | 7:52 am

    Dude, that totally sucks! Tasha and I are in awe with what you guys have been through and continue to go through. You name it, its done. Whatever you need we’ll do. We’re cheering for you.

  145. Comment by Rocky | 05.2.2008 | 7:55 am

    Elden and Susan,

    You have been in our thoughts and in our prayers for months. As of last night, we have re-doubled our efforts on your behalf.

  146. Comment by Si | 05.2.2008 | 7:58 am

    I just don’t know what to say. I read your blog each week and therefore have been keeping up to date with Susan’s progress…I just hope your family continues to find the strength to look after each other…it’s clear to see you have a lot of support from friends and loved ones…thinking of you.

  147. Comment by Paul W | 05.2.2008 | 8:00 am

    Elden

    I honestly can’t think of words that express what I’m feeling for you all – but I have been thinking of of you, Susan and the kids all day.

    I’m thousands of miles away, and the only thing that connects us is a love of cycling and Douglas Adams – but like so many others I’m come to see you as a friend.

    My thoughts and love

    Paul W (UK)

  148. Comment by MTB W | 05.2.2008 | 8:00 am

    Elden & Susan, I couldn’t breathe when I read today’s post. I have no idea how hard it was for you but I know that you will take this news in stride and, ultimately, will fight and overcome it. No matter what, keep a stiff upper lip and beat this! Everywhere around the world, people are in your corner – like TimK said “dandelions seeds spread throughout the world.” My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  149. Comment by Fai | 05.2.2008 | 8:07 am

    I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of years now and must delurk to say: for every person who comments here, there must be hundreds like me who marvel at the courage that Susan and you show, and who weep for the hardship that you endure. Win, Susan, win!

  150. Comment by ol | 05.2.2008 | 8:08 am

    Like many others above I’ve read this blog for a long time without ever feeling the need to post. I’ve gotten a simple enjoyment from it and I’ve been happy to sit in the background doing so.

    Which is why I feel I owe you and your family something.

    I’ve got to offer my greatest sympathy and hope for what your going through and the knowledge, the absolute sure knowledge that better times lie ahead.

    Trust me mate. Best of luck to you and yours.

    P.S. Aside from the content that was one of the brilliant blog posts I’ve ever read

  151. Comment by Kathy | 05.2.2008 | 8:08 am

    You said you were scared, Fatty. I don’t blame you. Focus on the love. It is all around you and Susan and the family.

    Hey Botched, or Dug, or that guy who doesn’t have a real name, how about another PO Box where we can send cards to Susan? I’m sure the box would fill up immediately.

  152. Comment by Chris | 05.2.2008 | 8:09 am

    I am sad to hear this news. Keep fighting.

  153. Comment by David Schloss | 05.2.2008 | 8:11 am

    Elden,

    I, and probably many others who read this blog, are truly touched and affected by these circumstances.

    I feel though like there’s something more we should be doing. Do you guys need anything from your readers? Flowers for Susan? Chocolates? Toys for the kids? Movies to watch in bed? Anything?

    This has to be really unbelievably hard on you both. I’d really like to help some way besides just passing on good words.

    david /at rocklandbike dot org if you need anything

  154. Comment by Tina C | 05.2.2008 | 8:17 am

    I am so sorry to read this. My heart just broke when you mentioned the numerous tumors. But you must know that you both are being lifted up in prayers and good thoughts for her healing by everyone in your circle of family and friends and by those whom you don’t even know that read this blog. Like me… hang in there.

  155. Comment by StevieB | 05.2.2008 | 8:21 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Susan and your family.

    LiveSTRONG and WIN!

  156. Comment by NEIN | 05.2.2008 | 8:21 am

    I hope this isn’t out of line, but have you considered marijuana? It might help with the sleeping, the pain and the loss of appetite. I’ve seen it help many people, in many different situations.

    I’m sending all my good vibes your way today.

  157. Comment by SteveS | 05.2.2008 | 8:23 am

    This is how my heart felt reading your post today.

    http://www.treehugger.com/greensburg-kansas.jpg

    My heart goes out to you two, and also to your children, who undoubtedly grieve and cry, express anger and weariness right along side of you and Susan.

  158. Comment by KanyonKris | 05.2.2008 | 8:27 am

    This one hit me. I’ll admit I’m tearing up here at work. In a weird way it’s a good thing – feeling compassion for another person – so thank you for sharing with us. But it’s definitely not a good thing.

    All along I’ve just wanted Susan to be OK. You’ve been frank in reporting the ups and downs, but somehow I’ve largely ignored the bad news – this time it’s hard to push aside. Our family will pray for Susan and your family.

    I brought my bike with plans to ride a local trail that’s now open (Clarks). When I read your post, a riding suddenly felt so frivolous. But on further contemplation of the fragility and uncertainty of life, I decided it would be the perfect thing to do. Susan, this ride’s for you.

  159. Comment by Guy | 05.2.2008 | 8:31 am

    Eldon,

    Best thoughts & heart go out to Susan, you & family.

  160. Comment by monkeywebb | 05.2.2008 | 8:33 am

    I almost cried. I hope you continue to find strength and love in each other. My best to your entire family…

  161. Comment by DrCodfish | 05.2.2008 | 8:34 am

    Courage is another form of beauty. You, Susan, your family are becoming more beautiful everyday. I feel guilty for receiving the inspiration you give, and hope that my prayers repay the debt.

    Dr Codfish

  162. Comment by Jeffy | 05.2.2008 | 8:37 am

    Words fail – I’m so sorry to hear this. Hang tough and let us know what would help. Jeffy

  163. Comment by dave | 05.2.2008 | 8:51 am

    I have been enjoying your blog for quite a while now, but I have never posted before now. I am so sorry to hear this news and wish there was something I could do. So I am posting to show some support at this terrible time.

  164. Comment by Brad Curtis | 05.2.2008 | 8:56 am

    Fatty,

    Keep fighting. Keep the hope.

    A dear friend of mine has been fighting brain cancer at the Huntsman Center as well. I don’t know who your doctor is but Dr. Glantz did a fantastic job.

    Sadly, my friend Rich Lloyd passed away a week ago today. I stumbled across your blog looking for information to help me prepare to do the Lance Armstrong Ride for the Roses in Austin this fall.

    Now I have another reason to ride, for Susan. I moved to Highland from Austin recently, so we are neighbors. Hopefully we’ll cross paths. I’ll be the “really fat cyclist” (in Texas everything is bigger) trying to get in shape, doing what I can to help beat cancer.

  165. Comment by not_pregnant_and_almost_skinny_Cathy | 05.2.2008 | 9:00 am

    Strength and positive thoughts to both of you from North Carolina.

  166. Comment by Chris | 05.2.2008 | 9:02 am

    Fatty:

    There is little more to say than I wish you both the strength to continue to handle this with the grace and dignity you have exhibited so far. I will keep you in my thoughts.

    C

  167. Comment by daniel | 05.2.2008 | 9:04 am

    Been reading here for a long time, and when I shared this story with my wife, she asked ‘what can we do?’. Although we’ve never met your family, we both felt like a dear friend is in need.

    We’ve been considering a local charity race (proceeds to paediatric cancer research) for a while. We’ll ride it with Susan in our hearts.

    Our prayers and thoughts are with you both.

  168. Comment by Dobovedo | 05.2.2008 | 9:04 am

    I am doing a 100 mile TT at Calvin’s Challenge tomorrow. I will ride for Susan.

    Stay Strong.

  169. Comment by Rick S. | 05.2.2008 | 9:04 am

    Elden and Susan- I’m busting out the Pink Jersey today. Please let us know what we can do for you and your family. Like Brad said, anything you need.

  170. Comment by Conejita | 05.2.2008 | 9:07 am

    I dont know what to say. I know we’ve never met, but after reading your blog for years, I sometimes forget that we’re not friends. My depest sympathies and greatest hopes go out to your family. I cant imagine how it feels when your betrays you when you have so much life left to give. I know that Susan will continue to fight. If you need ANYTHING at all to make Susan more comfortable or your families life easier so you can spend more time with her, please let us know.

  171. Comment by AlicesYellowPorsche | 05.2.2008 | 9:07 am

    I’m so sorry. I wish there was something we could do to help you. Susan and you are both strong – you have to believe you will make it through. Know that my family is rooting for you. Best of luck.

  172. Comment by kawika | 05.2.2008 | 9:07 am

    my thoughts and prayers are with your wife, you and your family. i hope that the steroids and radiation quickly restore your wife’s quality of life.

  173. Comment by jill | 05.2.2008 | 9:17 am

    Oh, Elden and Susan. I am so sorry. You are fighters. This won’t beat you.

  174. Comment by Carlin | 05.2.2008 | 9:17 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    I’m participating in a run for the Canadian Brain Tumour Association at the end of the month with a friend who is beating brain cancer. I’ll add Susan to the list of people I’m running for.

  175. Comment by Don | 05.2.2008 | 9:22 am

    I can’t even begin to think of what is appropriate to say, and can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. The only thing I can say, without doubt, is that you and you family will be in my prayers as well as the rest of my family. Stay strong Susan, and Elden! God Bless!

  176. Comment by judi | 05.2.2008 | 9:22 am

    Fatty – I am so so sorry. No way you cannot ever give up. You and Susan are going to beat this shit! Stay strong buddy.

  177. Comment by Maile in Florida | 05.2.2008 | 9:27 am

    I am so sorry to hear the bad news. It was wrenching to read it, and obviously had to have been much worse to receive. I have lit a candle and all my thoughts and best wishes are winging your way.

    It’s a long fight, and a hard one, and tiring beyond belief, but it’s a fight worth making. You have both shown many times over that you are marvelous warriors in this struggle. If anyone can win their way though this, you two can.

    With much aloha,
    Maile in Florida

  178. Comment by hades | 05.2.2008 | 9:38 am

    I read often, post very little; I have nothing new to add, just another heart that aches at your news – My heart goes out to you both. Have hope, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you, keep fighting.

  179. Comment by ELF | 05.2.2008 | 9:39 am

    The entire Fatty family will be in my thoughts and prayers…

  180. Comment by guido | 05.2.2008 | 9:41 am

    ive read your blog now for some time but never posted before
    just wanted to say keep the faith susan will get better

    livestrong guido….

  181. Comment by Lowrydr | 05.2.2008 | 9:44 am

    Now I know why the storm clouds rolled in just a bit ago. But don’t worry to hard there is a bright spot on the horizon. You will be in my thoughts as always be strong Sir Fatty. The best to Susan and the rest of the family.

  182. Comment by ming | 05.2.2008 | 9:47 am

    wow, its hard to say how that post hit me in the gut. im not s praying guy, seems a long wait for a train that doesnt come, but ill be keeping at 6 of you in my thoughts.

    stay strong,

    ming

  183. Comment by Denise | 05.2.2008 | 9:49 am

    I sit here with tears streaming down my face wanting to say something but am unable to find any words that can truly describe how saddened and sorry I am to read this post. I have not and probably never will meet you or your family but I hold you all in my heart. I will step up the prayers for you all. We are all here for you guys. Much love from Missouri!

  184. Comment by scank | 05.2.2008 | 9:58 am

    Elden, Susan and Family,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  185. Comment by Pammap | 05.2.2008 | 9:58 am

    Eldon & Susan, my tears and prayers are yours. Words just don’t work for this. I care. I’ll pray.

  186. Comment by gr@sshopper | 05.2.2008 | 9:59 am

    You know what? Roundup kills dandelions.
    Thoughts are with you.
    Chris.

  187. Comment by Gary | 05.2.2008 | 10:04 am

    Eldon & Susan, thank you so much for letting me be a part of your family. Though I have never met either of you I have come to love you both. Please know that as much as my heart breaks for you I am in the fight with you and for you. You must stand confidently in the knowledge that when you are too weak to fight we are fighting for you. God is able and willing and I will not cease to call on Him for complete recovery for Susan and strength for the whole family as you walk through this.

  188. Comment by Dave | 05.2.2008 | 10:08 am

    I read your post with a huge lump in my throat even though we’ve never met. My thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family since this ordeal started. Stay strong.

  189. Comment by Mark W | 05.2.2008 | 10:10 am

    Hang in there buddy. more prayers on the way and I will think of Susan, you and your family everytime I see a dandelion – and there are a lot of them on my lawn!

    Mark W in Vancouver BC

  190. Comment by Clydesteve | 05.2.2008 | 10:21 am

    Elden & susan –

    Very difficult post to read, but thanks for sharing this most heartbreaking news.

    “The Lord bless you and keep you;
    the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
    the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.”
    from Numbers Ch 6

    Pink WIN! jersey to/from work today. You are in my prayers,

    Steve

  191. Comment by Sue | 05.2.2008 | 10:22 am

    Eldon, I am so sorry to read your news and please know how many of us are thinking about you and Susan and the kids. Stay strong.

  192. Comment by Jenn | 05.2.2008 | 10:23 am

    How can I not leave a comment and tell you how much I am praying for you and your family. You are so generous with yourself and your life; you let us, who have never met you, feel like family. You let us laugh with you, and cry with you. It may feel as if your blog is read by few, and that it’s just a little thing, but I think you can see just what an impact you have on those of us that read you. We are all scared with you, we are all sitting and praying with you. I know it doesn’t change how you feel, and we certainly aren’t feeling what you feel; however, you are not alone.

    We will do what we can to help

    Jenn

  193. Comment by eclaire | 05.2.2008 | 10:25 am

    just wanted to add my positive thoughts and prayers to all those above. stay strong susan and fatty and family. i read the blog everyday, and if i could return to you even a tenth of the well-being and pleasure i get from reading it, susan would be healed. would that it worked that way. keep fighting.

    eclaire in minnesota

  194. Comment by Sassy | 05.2.2008 | 10:27 am

    I’ve never commented here before, but I have been a lurker for over a year. I just wanted to add my name to the long list of people who are pulling for all of you.

  195. Comment by Gordon | 05.2.2008 | 10:29 am

    I am so sorry to hear this latest news. Susan and your family are in my prayers.

  196. Comment by Mark | 05.2.2008 | 10:29 am

    Like Brad said. If there’s anything the local community can do to help let us know. Your family will be in my prayers and part of my fast on Sunday. Hang in there.

  197. Comment by KT | 05.2.2008 | 10:30 am

    So I’m supposed to be working.

    But I can’t.

    This post literally took my breath away. I’m gasping, gutted, struck.

    Keep fighting. Keep strong. Be.

    Extra helpings of prayers heading to the gods on behalf of your family.

    Ps. Seriously, what can we out here in Fatty’s Army do to help? Should we do the “avalanch of get well cards” again? I’m working on knitting a prayer shawl, I’d love to send it to Susan.

  198. Comment by Erik | 05.2.2008 | 10:33 am

    So sorry to hear about the news. We’re all pulling for you in Seattle and wish you all the best of luck.

  199. Comment by dvicci | 05.2.2008 | 10:33 am

    I lost a friend to cancer not long ago. I watched another persevere and conquer. Neither was in any way easy. My thoughts are with you.

  200. Comment by Megan | 05.2.2008 | 10:34 am

    My heart hurts for you. I don’t know what else to say other than if you need anything ask – all of us (whether we know you or not) will do what we can.

  201. Comment by TidusBlue | 05.2.2008 | 10:47 am

    sorry to hear the latest news, my best wishes are with you both.

  202. Comment by jenn from texas | 05.2.2008 | 10:47 am

    Like many, I’ve never commented on your blog before. But, after reading your remarks today, I feel that I must remind you of the MANY readers you have who are praying on behalf of Susan, you, your family and friends! What an incredible community you have established here at fatcyclist!!! In my prayers…

  203. Comment by brian c | 05.2.2008 | 10:49 am

    wow. 200 responses. amazing, but not surprising at all.

    i have to say something. my heart too hurts for you. im am weakened in the shadow of your strength. best of luck.

    Brian

  204. Comment by svandiver | 05.2.2008 | 10:56 am

    When I saw the title of your blog today, I immediately was scared for you and Susan. I can only say, that I have been in a similar situation and all you can do is hold on and pray. We (your exetended blog family) will keep you, Susan and the kids in our thoughts and prayers and look for the positive outcome. We are here for you!!

  205. Comment by leroy | 05.2.2008 | 11:01 am

    I have no words to adequately express my hopes for you and your family.

    I hope for the best for you.

    You are in the thoughts and prayers of many.

  206. Comment by Carl | 05.2.2008 | 11:04 am

    Elden,

    I just finished reading every post before me. I dont even know if you will read this far down the list. It has been hard to explain to everyone in my office why 1. I just spent the last half hour on the internet, and 2. why a grown man is crying at his desk.

    But let me tell you something friend…YOU are special. Susan is special. We have never even met, yet I have been looking forward to hearing from you every day for the last few years. Just look at the community you have built and provided to everyone around you.

    You are loved by more people than I even know. It must be very difficult to discuss Susan’s pain on a daily/weekly basis, but I hope by opening up to all of your readers you are able to ease your own pain.

    As many have said before me, you and your family are in all of our prayers. Keep your head up and remember that this is a battle best fought one day at a time. This is a battle that can be won!

    I’m sure you have plenty of local support, but I live one state over and I would be happy to help in any way I can. Just say the words and I’m there…seriously.

    Jason

  207. Comment by stefano | 05.2.2008 | 11:05 am

    You guys have been so brave and positive. Keep it up. You are in my prayers.

  208. Comment by El Animal | 05.2.2008 | 11:06 am

    Fatty,

    After reading your blog for years, I already feel that you are a close friend.

    I’ll be praying for Susan and for your family, this hasn’t been a good week for us either.

  209. Comment by Rant | 05.2.2008 | 11:07 am

    Elden,

    Man, talk about awful news. You and Susan are in our thoughts and prayers. The situation sounds pretty dire, but sometimes miracles happen. I hope that for you and Susan, this is one of those times.

    - Rant

  210. Comment by brokeMBA | 05.2.2008 | 11:09 am

    Positive thoughts and strength to Susan and all of your family.

  211. Comment by Rob | 05.2.2008 | 11:12 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Don’t ever give up.

  212. Comment by kjfitz | 05.2.2008 | 11:15 am

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  213. Comment by tim | 05.2.2008 | 11:17 am

    it.just.doesn’t.seem.fair. Don’t know what to say. You are an amazing family.

  214. Comment by Willy | 05.2.2008 | 11:21 am

    You hang in there fatty. I will be praying for you guys!

  215. Comment by LidsB2 | 05.2.2008 | 11:22 am

    As all the previous posts have so eloquently expressed — You, Susan and your family are in our thought and prayers. May you be blessed beyond measure.

  216. Comment by demonic1 | 05.2.2008 | 11:26 am

    Crap. I’ll put in a word w/ the big guy for your family.

  217. Comment by bee$ | 05.2.2008 | 11:29 am

    I have been reading your blog for quite a while now. I will probably never meet you, or ride in the beautiful places you write about. I have lived vicariously through you just a little bit with your daily updates. today I am crying for you. I pray for your whole family.

  218. Comment by Lori | 05.2.2008 | 11:30 am

    You are in my prayers.

  219. Comment by rexinsea | 05.2.2008 | 11:31 am

    You were quiet yesterday during my lunch break and I worried just a little. I’m sorry to hear my worries ended up to be true.

    This is a wonderful BLOG community to share your feelings. No matter the outcome; Susan and you are blessed with many friends you may never meet. I hope this fact comforts you.

    My prayers are with Susan, your family and you. Take care.

  220. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 05.2.2008 | 11:38 am

    Today more than any other is a pink jersey, yellow wrist band day.

  221. Comment by paige | 05.2.2008 | 11:41 am

    As soon as I saw the title of your post, I started crying. I knew there was a reason I’d been thinking about you and Susan the last couple of days.

    I’m sending thoughts and prayers and good feelings for you all.

    If anybody can beat this thing into submission, it’s Susan.

    But I’m scared for you guys, too.

  222. Comment by bc | 05.2.2008 | 11:41 am

    So sorry to hear this. Like a lot of the posters, I have no idea what to say… your in my thoughts and prayers.

  223. Comment by jaron | 05.2.2008 | 11:43 am

    I am so sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  224. Comment by Kevin | 05.2.2008 | 11:50 am

    My heart is with you and Susan, as are many others in the blogging and cycling community obviously. I don’t typically comment but I just wanted to add my support.

    Get well Susan!

  225. Comment by nancy | 05.2.2008 | 12:03 pm

    I read your blog – which I love, because of your honesty and openness to share the struggles you and Susan are having – cancer sucks! Here is a verse that I memorized while waiting to meet my neurosurgeon in 2004 for a malignant brain tumor -

    Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    May you and your family be comforted – Be Well.

  226. Comment by Mocougfan | 05.2.2008 | 12:13 pm

    So little to add right now. I really feel for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your life so freely with us. You’ve brought joy and laughter to so many of us. Hope you can find some yourself.

    Chad

  227. Comment by UpNorth | 05.2.2008 | 12:14 pm

    Give your kids some big cuddles/hugs tonight. I’m sure it will do you all good. Take care.

  228. Comment by Jodi | 05.2.2008 | 12:17 pm

    Big Brother –

    I heard someone say this, and it felt profound to me…

    “It will all be good in the end. If it isn’t good, it isn’t the end”.

    How it applies, I really don’t know. But still. I am glad you have all these friends to keep you going in these times, and that you have such an ability to write an express everything, however hellish it is. You will get through this, because you ARE getting through it. Right now.

    I love you guys, and will be there physically if you need me, and spiritually no matter what.

    Jodi

  229. Comment by bikesgonewild | 05.2.2008 | 12:18 pm

    …almost speechless…love from my heart…stay strong…

  230. Comment by mark | 05.2.2008 | 12:23 pm

    Not having read this beforehand, I grabbed my pink jersey for today’s lunch ride because it’s my favorite. Then I came back to my desk and read this post. I have never wept at work before, but I did today. My family and I will be praying for you.

  231. Comment by MM | 05.2.2008 | 12:23 pm

    Never underestimate the power of faith and prayers (whatever your denomination).

    http://www.meditationinbristol.org/faith%20heals.htm

  232. Comment by Stan | 05.2.2008 | 12:27 pm

    I know that I’m just one of many saying this, but I’m just so sorry to hear this. This is just awful, and I feel for you and Susan.

  233. Comment by VA Biker | 05.2.2008 | 12:28 pm

    Your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers.

  234. Comment by Burns | 05.2.2008 | 12:32 pm

    I am so sorry to hear about Susan. I have been a reader of your blog for several years and have often been moved by your life. I will keep Susan and your family in my prayers.

  235. Comment by harald | 05.2.2008 | 12:34 pm

    Just over a year ago, I was at the foot of my dad’s hospital bed after his lung had been removed, when he convinced me to finally get that road bike that I had been talking about so long. His determination to fight the cancer head-on pulled our family closer together as we all saw strength in each other that we had noticed before. I look forward to finishing my second Livestrong challenge in August and sharing my experience with my dad.

    Your humor and ability to capture the many joys of cycling have resonated with many. However, it is the strength of you and your family that is truly an inspiration. Keep on fighting! We are all pulling for you.

  236. Comment by Darren B | 05.2.2008 | 12:38 pm

    I think this is the first I’ve posted here and this may get overlooked because of all the other posts.

    My father succumbed to brain cancer just 2 months ago so i kind of know what you will be going through. It was diagnosed only a year ago.

    Good luck and know that there are a ton of people thinking positive thoughts about you and your family.

    I left my e-mail addy in case you want to talk.

  237. Comment by Apertome | 05.2.2008 | 12:47 pm

    I’m another long-time reader and serial not-commenter. But today, I am so sorry to read this news that I feel I must add my words of support. I am thinking of Susan, you, and the rest of your family.

  238. Comment by Laura | 05.2.2008 | 12:53 pm

    I’ve got recurrent breast cancer, too, and although I’m somewhat skeptical about things like this, I figure it can’t hurt (at least as long as I don’t stop conventional treatment.)
    http://www.yinyanghouse.com/tongren/tamhealing_tongren_introduction

    And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all shall be most well.

    Prayers heading up for all of you -

  239. Comment by profette | 05.2.2008 | 12:58 pm

    I have tears in my eyes and can hardly type. You are both in my thoughts
    and prayers.

  240. Comment by DOM | 05.2.2008 | 1:06 pm

    Wow, like so many others, I don’t know what to say. Remember-you are among the list of people you need to take of. You and your family are in our thoughts.

  241. Comment by BellaCroix | 05.2.2008 | 1:14 pm

    Honestly, I’m at a total loss… I’d love to have something warm and comforting to say. I’d love to tell how how sure I was that everything will be okay… isntead, all I was able to think was that I hoped my co-workers didn’t see the single tear before I “manned-up”.

    There’s so much that I wish I could say but the quick prayer for Susan, you, and your family is all I can offer right now.

    God Bless.

  242. Comment by Alan | 05.2.2008 | 1:14 pm

    I started reading your blog right after my mother in law passed away in September, in a series of events similar to what your wife has been going through. I’ve wanted to comment, but didn’t want to at the same time. I’ve been hopeful for her, and will continue to hope, and I wish I had words to offer other than that.

    Take good care of her, and if you have the time and energy, keep us posted. I know I wouldn’t know you if I met you on the street, but hearing about the trials you’ve been going through has really hit close to home for me.

  243. Comment by steve sax | 05.2.2008 | 1:18 pm

    Well, as commenter number 240 or so, there is not a
    lot that has gone unsaid. Which is at it should be.

    Fight the thing. Sure, you are already fighting the
    THING…but fight despair, and fight idle time to
    overthink the situation, and fight complacency, and
    fight defeatist approaches to anything. By fighting,
    you have already won. By fighting, you are living
    every moment.

    We all hope you can beat this THING. We all are in
    the fight with you. FIGHT!

    steve

  244. Comment by Fan of Susan | 05.2.2008 | 1:19 pm

    I read your post this morning and all that kept running thru my head were angry expletives at what life throws our way at times. I couldn’t even think what to post. Not much more eloquent now, but I hurt for you, Susan and your family, and will send all the positive thoughts I can your way.

  245. Comment by paula | 05.2.2008 | 1:21 pm

    Same here…tears in my eyes and can hardly type. Like all the rest, the Nelson’s are in my thoughts.

  246. Comment by jenni | 05.2.2008 | 1:25 pm

    Yes, I’m with David- I want to do more than send wishes. So here are the choices- give us an address to send stuff or we’ll pick random homes in UT to send things and then random people all over the state will wonder why strangers are calling them fatty and it will just be complete mayhem.

    I make jewelry too. I’ll make Fatty necklaces/bracelets, sell ‘em for ?? and donate all to your family or whatever you want.

  247. Comment by thejerry | 05.2.2008 | 1:25 pm

    I don’t think I can add anything to what has already been said. However, I wanted to add my name to the list of supporters that will pray on your family’s behalf.

  248. Comment by Julie | 05.2.2008 | 1:28 pm

    Fatty – my heart goes out to you and Susan tonight. You have sent great things out into the world with your talents and humor – I hope that you will be surrounded by the loving thoughts and strength of the thousands of people you have touched.

  249. Comment by Louisiana Miles | 05.2.2008 | 1:45 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

  250. Comment by Jim B. | 05.2.2008 | 1:48 pm

    Oh Boy, Fatty you and Susan have been such an inspiration for me to get going with a bike again and try and livestrong. You have given so much to share your life. Thinking of your family is all I can offer back.

  251. Comment by L'Hippo | 05.2.2008 | 1:52 pm

    I’ve been reduced to faking a conf call to keep others office from seeing my red, swollen eyes and sniffy nose after reading your post. I only know your cause remotely yet am deeply moved, beyond my comprehension. Stay strong and positive, my dear man, for the lovely missus and your children, they need you. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

    Psalm 34:19

  252. Comment by fiddlesticks | 05.2.2008 | 2:10 pm

    Win!

  253. Comment by obsteve | 05.2.2008 | 2:19 pm

    I too will include you in our families prayers. And thank you for all the humor you’ve brought to all of us.

  254. Comment by brett | 05.2.2008 | 2:23 pm

    good luck, susan & elden.

  255. Comment by Amy | 05.2.2008 | 2:28 pm

    Your stories about bike riding, and your stories about Susan and your family, have been a great inspiration to me. Keep your sense of humor – it will help Susan as much as all of the treatment she is receiving.

  256. Comment by Ryan | 05.2.2008 | 2:34 pm

    A heartfelt expression of love, sympathy, and hope for Susan, yourself, and your children.

  257. Comment by Steve | 05.2.2008 | 2:41 pm

    My thoughts will be with you all.

  258. Comment by NomadJay | 05.2.2008 | 2:51 pm

    I don’t know what to say, except Stay Strong!

  259. Comment by Steph | 05.2.2008 | 2:55 pm

    Everyone before me has stated my thoughts so well. I am so sorry this has happened to your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  260. Comment by Richie | 05.2.2008 | 2:58 pm

    Keep fighting and be strong. My sincere thoughts are with you

  261. Comment by je | 05.2.2008 | 3:01 pm

    Prayers are with you folks. Keep up the good fight.

    I hardly know you and this felt like a punch in the stomach to me. God bless.

  262. Comment by bob & lyna | 05.2.2008 | 3:10 pm

    My heart hurt when I read your entry. We send uplifting thoughts and prayers.

  263. Comment by geckonia | 05.2.2008 | 3:15 pm

    Praying for a miracle! She is so luck to have you… hang in there everyone!

  264. Comment by jkl | 05.2.2008 | 3:25 pm

    Love can heal. Love can comfort. Love can provide peace. I hope you are feeling the love from your network out here.

  265. Comment by PeterUK | 05.2.2008 | 3:26 pm

    Words alone can’t express what I feel for you and Susan Fatty.

    May you both find the strength to get through this.

    We all love you Guys!

    Peter, Irvine – CA.

  266. Comment by KatieA | 05.2.2008 | 3:29 pm

    Much love sent from Sydney for you, Susan and the rest of the family. We’re all thinking of you, and sending our love.

  267. Comment by Drummerboy49 | 05.2.2008 | 3:29 pm

    Adding my best wishes to those of this wonderful suport group.

  268. Comment by icculus | 05.2.2008 | 3:42 pm

    All the best to your family.

    I wanted to add my support to the growing list above me. I hope the size of this group and the ammount of support behind you brings you and susan some strength when you need it.

  269. Comment by Kim Garrett | 05.2.2008 | 3:48 pm

    I’m so sorry! It seems like there should be something better than that to say, but maybe you can take comfort in knowing that so many people are out here thinking about and praying for your wife. Best wishes.

  270. Comment by Rebecca | 05.2.2008 | 4:03 pm

    Prayers, hugs, positive thoughts.

    I feel bad that some of us made light-hearted comments when you asked a few posts back for sleep advice. I don’t think any of us said “MRI”. We all dropped the ball on that one. If anything, I hope to learn from Susan. She inspires me with her fight, but scares me in my own.

    Good luck in the journey. We are all cheering you on in our Pink lemonade jerseys.

  271. Comment by Holly | 05.2.2008 | 4:19 pm

    Your news sucked the wind out of my day. My son is in class with your #2 son so my thoughts go straight to him. Please let us know how we can help…surely there has to be a way.

  272. Comment by lrh | 05.2.2008 | 4:27 pm

    You are in our thoughts and in our hearts. Courage, strength & heart.

  273. Comment by J | 05.2.2008 | 4:27 pm

    My heart sank when I saw your title on my RSS feed. This sucks. But you know, man, you and your family have such deep humanity, honesty and love that you’ll still make some good times, and grow, and enjoy. It may be hard to see that now, but you will. It’s obvious, even to someone who knows you only through your blog.

    So, keep fighting, and know we’re all at your side.

  274. Comment by Aaron | 05.2.2008 | 4:44 pm

    Never seen fit to post a comment until now.

    My love and respect go to your wife, yourself, family and friends.
    I am in awe of you all.
    Love.

  275. Comment by Karst | 05.2.2008 | 5:01 pm

    Best wishes to Susan and family.

  276. Comment by Gadrock | 05.2.2008 | 5:01 pm

    So sorry guys, that is tough news. Prayers and thoughts are coming from this way as well. Keep up the good fight and know that our thoughts are with you.

  277. Comment by MOM | 05.2.2008 | 5:10 pm

    All of you are wonderful. When a Mom can’t make everything right, then it really helps to have friends like you all are to this family.

  278. Comment by Debbie | 05.2.2008 | 5:21 pm

    I will share a quote that sustained me through a very dark and dreary and scarey time in my life:

    When you come to the edge of all the light you know
    And are about to step off
    into the darkness of the unknown,
    Faith is knowing one of two things will happen . . .
    There will be smething solid to stand on,
    Or you will be taught how to fly.

    May god grant you the strength and peace to deal with whatever lies in store for your family, and may you find love each day in the eyes of those around you. My prayers go with you.

  279. Comment by Liz | 05.2.2008 | 5:21 pm

    I’ve come out of lurkdom to say that I’m scared for you too. You will all be in my thoughts.

    Love well, be strong.

  280. Comment by Merckx | 05.2.2008 | 5:22 pm

    From my family to yours, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  281. Comment by David from Sydney | 05.2.2008 | 5:22 pm

    As somebody who has been reading your site for a while now, I am totally devasted by this news. Words can never be enough, but all my hopes and prayers go out to you and Susan.

  282. Comment by kentucky joe | 05.2.2008 | 5:22 pm

    FC,

    Peace and courage to Susan, to you and your families. Special prayers for you all in this dark time. This was very painful news because we all can only imagine how long and hard this fight has been and now this. I wish your family the strenght to carry on in spite of this. Rail, rail against the night, keep on fighting the good fight. Miracles do happen, why not Susan?

  283. Comment by n | 05.2.2008 | 5:34 pm

    Like the other posters, I want to express my sympathy for you and Susan and that your family is in my thoughts and prayers. As a biker, I love your blog, but as a fairly newly married person, I especially am touched by the discussions of your relationship with Susan and the love you have for her which is evident in each post. Please take care.

  284. Comment by Barbara | 05.2.2008 | 5:43 pm

    What they all said.

    Love and prayers…

  285. Comment by axel | 05.2.2008 | 5:45 pm

    be strong, stay positive!
    good luck. WIN!

  286. Comment by theRunt | 05.2.2008 | 5:52 pm

    I’ve never commented on the many times you’ve made me laugh out loud over the years. But I had to let you know that my heart aches for you and I’m sending my love and prayers to you and your family.
    Blessings to you.

  287. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 05.2.2008 | 5:53 pm

    Shocking news.
    My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Susan and all your family.

  288. Comment by joliver3 | 05.2.2008 | 5:56 pm

    Not much to say that hasn’t already been said, so I’ll just add to the number of your well-wishers. Hang in there. With your family’s positive attitudes and fighting spirit, I’m sure this will be just a temporary setback on the road to Italy!

  289. Comment by Walter | 05.2.2008 | 5:57 pm

    Fatty,
    I’m so, so sorry — and really at a loss for words. I think all of us would be afraid in this situation. Will be thinking of you, doing my best to send good vibes, and praying for you.

    Walter

  290. Comment by SYJ | 05.2.2008 | 5:57 pm

    Elden,
    A few months ago, the company I worked for had to make some “strategic staffing cuts” to remain afloat. In the month that followed, my wife and I experienced an outpouring of help and goodwill that still amazes me.
    Please let me know if there is anything my family or I can do to help ‘pay it forward’.

    Stacey J

  291. Comment by Pat | 05.2.2008 | 5:57 pm

    So sorry to hear this. My heart to you both.

  292. Comment by Cari | 05.2.2008 | 5:57 pm

    I am so sad to hear this news. But I continue to pray for Susan, you and your little ones. God can do powerful things. May you have strength in your body and peace in your hearts as you seek treatment.

  293. Comment by sfcgijill | 05.2.2008 | 6:06 pm

    oh. oh, my.

    prayers to you, Susan, and the kids.

  294. Comment by LindaLoo | 05.2.2008 | 6:14 pm

    My heart is heavy, my eyes crying, wishing your family peace.

  295. Comment by Stephen | 05.2.2008 | 6:17 pm

    May you take your fears and turn them into strength. Thank you for sharing and I hope all of us can generate some positive vibes for your family.
    Peace.

  296. Comment by Jeremy | 05.2.2008 | 6:22 pm

    We’re all right beside you, Susan and Elden – hoping for the best of outcomes and the swiftest of remedies.

  297. Comment by Joey | 05.2.2008 | 6:22 pm

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

  298. Comment by Frank | 05.2.2008 | 6:36 pm

    I’m deeply sorry and praying for your family.

  299. Comment by Jason | 05.2.2008 | 6:39 pm

    Elden, Keep fighting the good fight. You and Susan are an inspiration to so many people. Like many of your loyal readers I shed some tears when I read today’s post. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hang in there.

  300. Comment by John P. | 05.2.2008 | 6:40 pm

    If I could hug you guys right now I would, but I’m going to go hug my wife and kids and hope and pray for the best.

  301. Comment by Julie | 05.2.2008 | 6:42 pm

    Love and hugs to the whole family.

  302. Comment by AndyC | 05.2.2008 | 6:43 pm

    I am so very sorry to hear your news. I wish you two only the best and that you and your children and Susan have continued strength to endure all this in your lives. My wife is a breast cancer survivor these past 4 years and the thoughts of having to endure what you have scares me terribly. I will be wearing my Pink Fat Cyclist jersey this weekend on my ride and thinking of Susan. Keep up the good fight!

    My Best to You!

  303. Comment by Amy | 05.2.2008 | 6:49 pm

    I had no idea what the post title might mean. I’m devistated. I don’t know what to say, I just sat here, holding my baby and crying. Have hope though, my Mom got breast cancer and the doctor told her to “go home and he would make her death comfortable when it got to that point”. My parents found another doctor and they fought (like you are). My Mom had 4-5 great, cancer-free years (unfortunately the cancer came back with a vengance, she died in Dec, 2001).

    Everyday is precious. I am praying for you, Susan and your family. I’m glad she is able to sleep. Post if you need anything. I wish there was more I could do.

  304. Comment by Eric | 05.2.2008 | 6:59 pm

    My best wishes to Susan, you and the kids during this time. I have personally been through a similar experience and encourage you all to fight the good fight. Through the lows and the highs, please get strength knowing that their is a 2 wheeled community wishing you all the best.

    With Best Wishes and Thoughts,
    Eric

  305. Comment by LuckyLab | 05.2.2008 | 7:00 pm

    Dang, man. I’m not sure I’ve ever commented here but after reading your post and every single comment after, my heart aches for you and Susan. I wish you both the strength and wisdom to face the challenges ahead. You are not alone.

  306. Comment by Mark | 05.2.2008 | 7:07 pm

    It’s rare that I post a reply on your blog, despite the fact that I check it every day.

    Today’s post made the bottom drop out of my stomach.

    Super duper healing vibes are set at maximum levels and directed towards Susan. She WILL beat this. And I look forward to reading about your trip to Italy with your completely healthy wife.

    -Mark

  307. Comment by Marrock | 05.2.2008 | 7:08 pm

    I could say something about sending good thoughts and well wishes to your family, but it would seem your family now constitutes a rather sizable number of people all over the world all wishing, hoping, and praying for one thing.

    Now, I ask you, how can anything stand up against that sort of onslaught?

    All my best, man, keep rolling and keep kicking ass, both of you.

  308. Comment by sk8ermom3 | 05.2.2008 | 7:11 pm

    None of us who are currently healthy can possibly imagine what you and Susan are going through right now. Our prayers are with you and your family. Hug your wife and kids.

  309. Comment by Mel | 05.2.2008 | 7:13 pm

    I’ve read this a while now but never felt like commenting. This post brought tears to my eyes.
    All the best man, I wish there was something I could do :(

  310. Comment by Josh | 05.2.2008 | 7:25 pm

    Elden,
    It seems like the whole world is praying for you right now. Just keep your head up and fight through it. I love the blog and this is saddening news. Just know that you have thousands, maybe even tens of thousands pulling for you, susan and your family.
    Josh

  311. Comment by dawn | 05.2.2008 | 7:32 pm

    I don’t know how you were even able to type out the news, I could barely read it with the tears that quickly filled my eyes.
    You are strong, Susan is strong, your children are strong. You have a support system, at your home and here on your blog. Ask of us whatever you may need and we will freely give to you.

  312. Comment by born4felt | 05.2.2008 | 7:35 pm

    Just remember that dandelion seeds blow away with just the slightest puff, and you have an army of people pulling for you. They don’t stand a chance.

    Love,

    b4f

  313. Comment by Grace | 05.2.2008 | 7:50 pm

    Elden & Susan,
    Like so many others who have posted, I have been reading/enjoying your blog for a couple of years but have not commented before today. My heart goes out to you and your family. Praying for God to bring strength and comfort. “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” -Deuteronomy 31:8

    Love and prayers,
    Grace

  314. Comment by culimerc | 05.2.2008 | 7:56 pm

    what can I say say that hasnt been said…..

  315. Comment by andrew | 05.2.2008 | 7:57 pm

    I have no words to share, just tears hitting the keyboard…

    for all the laughter & inspiration you have given so many, it’s simply cruel that you are going through this… there are so many of us out here pulling for you & susan. Be strong.. Livestrong…

  316. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 05.2.2008 | 7:58 pm

    My mom reads this too, and she and I and Bob all send our love and prayers.

  317. Comment by Debamundo | 05.2.2008 | 8:01 pm

    I cried for you and Susan, so now she doesn’t have to. I am praying for you. I will be thinking about you every minute.

  318. Comment by Flyin' Ute | 05.2.2008 | 8:09 pm

    Fatty,

    Back in Moab again. Just rode Poison Spider for my 6th and last time. I really don’t like that ride anymore. Logged in here to check on things to only find this depressing news. My thoughts are with you brother. Miracles do happen all the time. Keep the faith and we will be praying.

  319. Comment by fasteddie | 05.2.2008 | 8:12 pm

    Prayers and hopes for you, Susan and kids. There is power in numbers, many are pulling for ya’ll.

  320. Comment by Jon | 05.2.2008 | 8:14 pm

    May God bless you. I’ll be praying for you both.

  321. Comment by Amit | 05.2.2008 | 8:39 pm

    It would be very unusual if you were not scared. Please know that a lot of people all over the world are praying for Susan. Hang in there, keep fighting and keep hope. Cancer is totally beatable!

  322. Comment by Sleepy and Sleepy's wife | 05.2.2008 | 8:45 pm

    Elden,

    We are so upset by your painful news. We are rooting for Susan and your family.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful family.

  323. Comment by KarrieLyne | 05.2.2008 | 8:48 pm

    My dearest friend,
    What does one say in a time like this except that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You and Susan are strong and will pull through this. You have a HUGE support group here and you say the word and you know you will have anything you need!! **gentle hugs for you and Susan**

  324. Comment by jeff | 05.2.2008 | 9:03 pm

    You are — even more so — in Jennifer’s and my thoughts and prayers.

  325. Comment by Lorachristine Vichich | 05.2.2008 | 9:05 pm

    Mr. Fatty,
    I just read your blog. Such devastating news but please keep the faith. I would say that I couldn’t imagine how you feel, but I do know. I was so touched by how much you’ve done for charities. I will be praying so hard for you, Susan and your family and will be thinking of you all tomorrow at the Brain Tumor Walk tomorrow (May 3) at Golden Gate Park. http://www.braintumor.org/AngelAdventure. I’ve attached my email, if you feel like talking or need anything, please contact me.

    LiveStrong!

  326. Comment by shane | 05.2.2008 | 9:15 pm

    I don’t know what to write. My thoughts are with you.

  327. Comment by tibiker | 05.2.2008 | 9:22 pm

    Eldon,
    I sit here with my mind racing with things I want to say but am unable to fully express it in words. My heart breaks for you, Susan and your family. I read many of the previous comments and many have said it so perfectly; we all wish you the best, our thoughts and prayers are with you, don’t give up and please let us know what, if anything we can do. I lost my father after a battle with cancer when I was 14 and believe me when I say that I can empathize with the emotions you must be feeling. Hang in there, keep fighting.

  328. Comment by Dave | 05.2.2008 | 9:37 pm

    We are all behind you ans Susan. Good luck, you’ll get there one way or another. You are both in Rachel and I’s thoughts. Dave UK

  329. Comment by Harp | 05.2.2008 | 9:41 pm

    My thoughts are with you and your family. Stay Strong.

  330. Comment by CellPhoneGuy | 05.3.2008 | 4:42 am

    Eldon,
    As many before me, I come out of my lurking to tell you that I am devastated by your post.

    I feel like I know you personally because you are so honest in your writing. While reading your entries, I have laughed until I couldn’t breathe and cried until I couldn’t see, but your entry today stopped me in my tracks. I am scared for you.

    The FC community is a powerful group, draw from our collective strength and prayers and know that you and your family (especially Susan) are in our thoughts as you battle this. Keep up the good fight and let us know if we can do anything to help.

  331. Comment by mgr | 05.3.2008 | 5:27 am

    Best wishes, hopes and prayers.

  332. Comment by Clydesdale | 05.3.2008 | 3:40 pm

    I’ve been away from the blog for a couple of days. I was feeling pretty crappy as a few things have gone wrong lately with work, our pool didn’t survive our record winter and I haven’t lost any weight and am riding really poorly.
    Then I read the blog, and ALL of the comments, and I suddenly feel so much better. To think that a virtual family that feel like friends are dealing with the fear and being so open and courageous about it give me hope and strength. The community that you have built here giving back selflessly and with so much support and energy makes me feel priviledged to even be able to contribute.

    All of or support, kharma and good wishes to the Faty family and all of you out there helping.

    WIN SUSAN!!!

  333. Comment by Fish | 05.3.2008 | 4:47 pm

    Know that you both have many many people praying for you.

    - Fish

  334. Comment by Kingfisher412 | 05.3.2008 | 7:29 pm

    another lurker appears, adding my beam of healing light to the massive force of love and hope that is being sent your way from all of the people whose lives you’ve touched…i wish you and susan and your kids peace, comfort, healing and rest

  335. Comment by Devin | 05.3.2008 | 10:58 pm

    You and your family’s situation has been near the forefront of my mind for the past couple of days. I wish you guys the best. I really don’t know how anything I write could lift any of the burdens you and your family have at this time. Nevertheless, my wife and I wish we could do we could do exactly that after reading this post and the one that followed today. We will have your family in our prayers as well.

  336. Comment by Sage | 05.6.2008 | 3:32 am

    Wish I could say something deep and meaningful that would count towards something, but words have failed me. Wishing you, Susan and your family strength for the future, hope for a miracle, and peace that you may have it.

    You will all be in my prayers,

    Sage

  337. Comment by John | 05.6.2008 | 11:23 am

    I read your blog irregularly (but I always read all the posts, in order, to catch up) so I just read this even though it’s several days old. You and Susan are in my daily prayers again.

    God Bless,

    John

  338. Comment by Terry | 05.7.2008 | 6:51 am

    Many years ago, my father had that conversation with my brother and I. It is one of my fondest (and sadest) memories of my father.
    Your children will appreciate it and admire you both for the rest of their lives.

  339. Comment by Mario | 05.9.2008 | 9:05 am

    Hi,
    I don’t know you and I am not a cyclist. A friend of mine who is a cyclist sent me your story and I am truly touched by this. I have had too many close friends with similar problems in the last few months and I want you to know my prayers are with you and your family. I can’t imagine how hard this is but I do know that things happen for a reason. Be strong and hang in there! Things will get better!

  340. Comment by Emily | 05.12.2008 | 10:18 am

    There is a healing revival going on in Florida right now. Miracles are happening, check out this website:
    http://www.freshfire.ca/
    May god bless susan with quick, and complete healing.

 

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