I’m so excited right now, I can hardly type straight? Why? I’ll tell you why. Because I just got the following email!
Before I go any further, I want to take a moment for thanking you for your consideration in not spamming me. I know that since Rock Racing does a new jersey every time they have a long training ride, you could easily be sending me notifications like this two or three times per week. By saving up your email blasts so that you only send out an announcement when you have a dozen or so new jerseys to sell, I’m assured that I won’t be getting more than two or three of these messages per month.
Anyway, I was so excited that you have some new jerseys I can buy from you that I zipped right on over to your website, where I beheld this awesome set of jerseys, among others:
When I looked at these, Rock Racing, I admit that I briefly panicked. Since I only have a budget of $500 for bike jerseys this month, which two of these fabulous jerseys should I choose? The black one with the winged skull? Or the black one with the winged skull and red collar and cuffs? Or should I go with the black one with the winged skull, the crown of thorns, and the "Cadillac" logo in blood red?
So many choices!
I have to be honest with you, Rock Racing. while I’m really excited about every one of the jerseys you have on your site and intend to buy one of every single one of them (and have taken out a third mortgage on my house to facilitate this intention), I find myself looking askance at some of your less expensive jerseys.
For example, while I am unquestionably drawn to the "O.G. Jersey in White," I’m a little bit put off by the $180.00 price tag. What about it makes it worth $40.00 less than the "Crucifixion Jersey in Black?" Is it because the black ink is a lot more expensive? Or maybe it’s because Labor Day (U.S.) is coming up really soon and you want to get rid of all your white jerseys before then, so you’re selling them at blow-em-out prices?
If that’s the case, good call.
If, however, the "O.G. Jersey in White" is less expensive because it’s somehow different — like maybe the skull isn’t quite Satanic-looking enough, or riders who wear it don’t look as pouty and spoiled as they ought, could you let me know?
Or, failing all that, would you mind if I just go ahead and pay you $240 for that jersey, so I’ll feel like I’m getting a really — not just nearly — exclusive jersey? Thanks in advance.
Of course, Rock Racing, I like to be an informed consumer. So, even though I would gladly pay top dollar for these jerseys even if they were made of cheesecloth, I like to know my facts. So, as I went to the details page of one of your most expensive jerseys (but not by any means your very most expensive), I was elated to find you did not disappoint:
Frankly, I’m still suffering from information overload, guys, but let me see if I’ve got this straight:
It’s a polyester jersey with three pockets in the back. And a zipper in the front.
My head’s still reeling from all this, but I still want to know a few things. First of all, how can you guys possibly afford to sell such incredibly distinctive jerseys at this deeply discounted price? This is America, guys; nobody’s going to fault you for trying to make a profit.
Next, why’d you go with three pockets, when you could have gotten away with two, or even one, like most jersey manufacturers? Your constant innovation shows that you’re not just making jerseys to make a quick buck; you’re thinking deeply about what cyclists need. And if that means the rest of the cycling apparel industry has to play catch-up for the next several years, well, so be it.
I can see you went with 100% polyester for the jerseys. Unless, as according to your Sizing and Technical Info page, they’re actually 75% polyester. Either way, I think you went with exactly the right amount of polyester.
And to top it all off: an elastic grip at the bottom? A mandarin collar? Raglan sleeves?
You guys are going to blow this industry wide open. You should maybe change your pricing structure. $180 – $220 for polyester jerseys with zippers in the front and pockets in the back is just not enough.
And that actually leads me to a couple of small — oh, ever so small — grievances I have with you, Rock Racing. The first one is this:
Do you really mean to tell me that in addition to having pockets and zippers in your $210 polyester jerseys that you’re going to foot the bill for shipping (ground only) yourself?
C’mon, guys. Give yourselves some credit. We know you care more about your customers than yourselves, but I feel like I’m stealing food right out of your children’s mouths.
Seriously, I demand that you let me pay shipping for my $220 jersey. $84.00 sounds about right.
But then you guys take it one step further. You go and give me a free poster if I spend more than $250 (e.g., if I buy nothing more than the $220 Crucifixion jersey and the matching $45 Crucifixion gloves).
Of course, you stipulate that the posters are only free as long as supplies last. And if I don’t miss my guess, those posters are long gone by now, because people are going to climb over the tops of each other getting their $250+ orders in so they can get that free poster.
I, for example, made 18 separate $250+ orders as soon as I became aware of this offer. Free shipping on all of them! 18 free posters! And I only spent $4680, for which I got 14 jerseys, two pair of gloves, ten t-shirts, and 4 pair of bib shorts!
But now, after the fact, I admit that I feel guilty. I took advantage of your kindness, greedily hogging those posters for myself.
I am such a heel.
Please, Rock Racing guys, let me pay for those 18 posters. I’ll bet that you innovatively printed them on glossy paper, lovingly roll them up, and insert them into a premium cardboard shipping tube. For this kind of distinctive, elegant product and service, I expect to pay a fair price.
$96 per poster sounds about right to me.
The Fat Cyclist