New Move

11.5.2008 | 12:31 pm

I think it’s been at least a week since I’ve been on a bike. Probably more like ten days, really.

But I’ve developed an awesome new move, one which I am extremely proud of.

Specifically, I am able to help Susan move out of the bed and into a wheelchair — smoothly and efficiently.

Furthermore, I am able to also do this move in reverse, moving Susan from her wheelchair into an easy chair or her bed.

I make it look easy. I’m that good.

I admit, though, that it took some practice for me to get this move right. Not too long ago I would grapple and struggle, bruising my (patient) wife while I tried to figure out how I had managed to plop Susan face-down on the bed. Or nearly drop her on the floor.

But not now. Now I cleanly and elegantly help Susan get to where she wants to be, with what appears to be no fuss at all — and with a bare minimum of discomfort on Susan’s part.

I have never been so proud of mastering a move in my entire life.

PS: The New Fat Cyclist gear — jerseys, arm warmers, shorts, and the wool jersey pre-order — are still available, though some sizes have sold out. Check out what you can get here. Also, a reminder: Twin Six is (absurdly generously) donating to me 50% of the purchase price of all (not just Fat Cyclist) Men’s XL-and-larger and Women’s L-and-larger jerseys. If you’ve been wanting to both get a jersey and help defray some of my expenses, this is a really great way to do it.


  1. Comment by nancy | 11.5.2008 | 12:37 pm

    Way to go…Susan must be very pleased, face plants can’t be good.

    Win Susan!

  2. Comment by Mike | 11.5.2008 | 12:40 pm

    Nice, Elden. You’re setting a great example of “how to be an awesome husband” for the rest of us.

  3. Comment by NW | 11.5.2008 | 12:43 pm

    You are awesome! Glad you’ve got the technique mastered for her. :)

  4. Comment by TMZ | 11.5.2008 | 12:47 pm

    Do you get a cut of the T-Shirt sales as well? I’d like to purchase something but can’t plunk down $70 for a jersey.

    All the best, TMZ

  5. Comment by Sprite's Keeper | 11.5.2008 | 12:47 pm

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen a graceful face plant/
    WIN Susan!

  6. Comment by sansauto | 11.5.2008 | 12:50 pm

    I was trained as a CNA once upon a time. I remember these petite ladies who could get big patients in and out of bed with ease while I would struggled and heaved to get them in a position where it was nearly impossible to get them to the appropriate destination. Then I had to go ask a petite lady to help me. It was embarrassing.

    I too took some pride in mastering that move.

    You’re a good man caring for your wife.

    We’re praying for your family

  7. Comment by Bikerchick_Barb | 11.5.2008 | 1:08 pm

    WTG, Team Nelson! Elden, those skills will serve you well in cyclocross, should you decide to pursue this in your quest for 2-wheeled dominance across all cycling disciplines. :-) So glad to hear Susan is “getting around.” I hope she also feels uplifted by the very palpable mood shift created by last night’s electoral miracle. (Keep) WINNING, TEAM FATTY!

  8. Comment by Chris | 11.5.2008 | 1:14 pm

    That’s wonderful! Maybe Susan can throw her hands in the air like a gymnast after the maneuver has been successfully and smoothly completed. Or you could do it.

    Nice post…

    The Ross’

  9. Comment by Kathleen | 11.5.2008 | 1:22 pm

    Go Fatty! Way to master the moves! Super proud of you.

  10. Comment by SP | 11.5.2008 | 1:28 pm

    Isn’t it amazing, the things we learn from friends and family when they are ailing and the strength and courage that they give to us? Susan is so lucky to have such a caring, loving husband. Elden, through your blog you have more friends than you’ll ever know…..

  11. Comment by Woody | 11.5.2008 | 1:29 pm

    Master of the moves!

  12. Comment by GenghisKhan | 11.5.2008 | 1:30 pm

    Nice and, as a bonus, I got to see an Assos Google Ad on your site!

  13. Comment by Alison Whitney | 11.5.2008 | 1:35 pm

    Really, I can’t give kudos enough for what you’re doing and the example you’ve set!!

    One thing I learned when my dad was bedridden was using a large trash bag. Believe it or not this works! We’d place it on the side of the bed and try to position him next to it, get him on it and then help slide him into the wheel chair. As he got better, though it was still hard for him to move, we’d still use that for getting in and out of the car or chairs as the slick surface of the bag would help slide him where we needed.

    Keep up the good work and the good fight!!

  14. Comment by Libby | 11.5.2008 | 1:39 pm


    If anyone is watching/listening just before the move it is important to bark “On my count!” It is not important whether or not anyone is helping you or if you actually count.

    Best to you and Susan

  15. Comment by Bill | 11.5.2008 | 1:50 pm

    And that move is infinitely more important than any move you may master on a bike.

    Definitely be proud.

  16. Comment by getinlost | 11.5.2008 | 1:52 pm

    The bikes, the rides and the companions (the core team) all understand that there are other needs at this time and will be waiting for you when there is a chance to go.



  17. Comment by XCTiger | 11.5.2008 | 2:32 pm

    Just remember, the Bike is like a dog, it understands and doesn’t hold a grudge if you are forced to ignore it for a while. On the other hand though, the legs and backside aren’t nearly as understanding. They remember when you’ve ignored them and they will get even with you.

    Glad to hear you’ve gotten your girl back. Enjoy….

  18. Comment by Kingfisher412 | 11.5.2008 | 2:37 pm

    and the judges award you and susan perfect tens across the board!!

  19. Comment by Slow Rider | 11.5.2008 | 2:56 pm

    Great news, you have a move kenny doesn’t

  20. Comment by MikeonhisBike | 11.5.2008 | 3:01 pm

    Although your bike certainly misses you I’m sure it will forgive and forget. Bikes are good that way unless you leave them out in the rain.


  21. Comment by TeaRider | 11.5.2008 | 3:10 pm

    I understand exactly where you’re coming from! There just comes a day when moving your patient is no longer difficult and strained… it’s like you choreographed the entire thing

    My love to your family
    Win Susan!

  22. Comment by Al Maviva | 11.5.2008 | 3:17 pm

    Good move, Elden. And, unlike all your other moves, this one doesn’t end with you bleeding on a pile of rocks on a hill somewhere, wondering how you’re going to get home. Plus it actually enhances what your friends think about your abilities.

    Hang in there Elden, hang in there. Giving to others is what’s best in life, your deeds are your legacy. Take full advantage of the chance to give back to Susan the way she’s given to you for 20+ years. Do keep carrying her, and keep stopping by so we can maybe help lift you up a tiny bit. Prayers & good thoughts coming your way in 3…2…1…

  23. Comment by ann | 11.5.2008 | 3:31 pm

    Grace under pressure. Praying for all of you.

  24. Comment by Carole | 11.5.2008 | 3:59 pm

    Susan is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her. Your relationship is such an inspiration to others.

  25. Comment by steve | 11.5.2008 | 4:02 pm

    you are my hero.

  26. Comment by Jamie | 11.5.2008 | 4:13 pm

    I’d been umming and ahhing over buying some gear for a while. I did it yesterday.

    I’ll look super stylish, and you’ll have a little ice cream money for the kids or something. Everyone wins!

    Win Susan!

  27. Comment by Clydesdale | 11.5.2008 | 4:16 pm

    pre ordered a long sleeve wooly and some bottles. Only too glad to help…again…and again…and again. Just say the word.
    Wish I could get the wool cap in the same order :-(
    It’s plenty cold up here now!!


  28. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 11.5.2008 | 6:19 pm

    Madd skillz bro.

  29. Comment by 4get2remember | 11.5.2008 | 6:24 pm

    You’re awesome, dude. Keep it up!

  30. Comment by Tina C | 11.5.2008 | 6:46 pm

    Why is it that THIS post is the one that makes me cry?
    You are such an amazing man to be so proud of caring for her, gently and lovingly. I can truly feel the love you have for Susan. It’s a beautiful thing. Thanks for sharing.

  31. Comment by Barb | 11.5.2008 | 10:24 pm

    As a healthcare worker I know the value of a smooth transfer. Strong Work! Keep it up – it’s always trouble when you have to pick them up off the floor…not that you will ever have to!

  32. Comment by KT | 11.5.2008 | 10:52 pm

    Lift with your legs, not your back.

    That way, you still get a workout for your legs.

    Oh, and engage your core.

    I read all that somewhere.

    Props to your mad skillz, and WIN SUSAN!!!

  33. Comment by Joi Gem | 11.6.2008 | 12:05 am

    You rock!
    Win Susan!!

  34. Comment by Pinkbike | 11.6.2008 | 12:55 am

    We’re all there lifting with you, Fatty.

  35. Comment by buckythedonkey | 11.6.2008 | 2:31 am

    You have a Super Power *and* a Special Move? Time for T6 to do a Fat Cyclist cape-and-mask set, methinks.

    Do you have a special “effort face” like the one below? I think we should be told



  36. Comment by Carolyn Online | 11.6.2008 | 7:18 am

    You knew those giant legs would come to some good use someday.

  37. Comment by Blorgh | 11.6.2008 | 8:01 am

    I’d been thinking about getting a jersey for a while, and I’m just so pleased to have a second chance. I couldn’t get a large because it would probably act like one of those decelerating parachutes behind me (and I’m already slow enough) but I hope you get a little bit from the regular sales.

    Win Susan!

  38. Comment by leroy | 11.6.2008 | 8:06 am

    Oh sure brag, why don’tcha.

    My father had to give up cycling 12 years ago due to heart disease. But he never gave up eating like he was still putting in the miles.

    Last month, he finally had the open heart surgery we all knew he would eventually need.

    Helping him in and out of bed after the surgery when he now has 80 lbs on me took a little practice.

    So, on second thought, brag all you want.

    You both deserve a lift!

    Win Susan!

  39. Comment by Onan the Barbarian | 11.6.2008 | 9:47 am

    My two jerseys came today. Lightning fast shipping.

    I was able to grab an ‘08 AND an ‘07 jersey. I’ll be stylin’ putting on the miles.

    Your Delta Tau Chi name is now: “Smooth Move” (I was going to go with “Ex-Lax” but I figured you might not like that very much).

  40. Comment by CeeCee | 11.6.2008 | 10:24 am

    Congrats on mastering the move! I never did with my mom. I guess my legs aren’t strong enough.
    You’re a good man, Charlie Brown. I’m quite sure Susan appreciates all you’re doing for her and your family.

  41. Comment by bikemike | 11.6.2008 | 11:22 am

    YOU are legend.

  42. Comment by Buss | 11.6.2008 | 12:10 pm

    I believe this is the first time commenting, but been reading along for the past year. Just ordered my XXL jersey and will wear it proudly here in Lancaster PA. I will continue to pray for Susan, the children and you.

  43. Comment by Veli Valkoinen | 11.6.2008 | 11:27 pm

    I’m proud of you buddy. Mastering a good transfer isn’t easy. If you’re ever out of work, come be a P.T. with me!

  44. Comment by Paul | 11.22.2008 | 4:16 pm

    Win Susan


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