As I become more and more important, I find that this blog is no longer merely a blog. It is a business. With hundreds of employees. With every word I write, I am generating cold hard cash and a working wage for all the people who depend on me.
In other words, I consider this blog a business, and I like to think that anyone who reads this blog depends on it for whatever kind of thing I write that day. And since you depend on me to write something, I feel it is not a stretch to claim all of you as dependents on my taxes. Which means I am going to get a huge refund this year.
As the proprietor of this business, I sometimes have items of business to conduct. As a lazy business proprietor, I like to let these items accumulate until it’s almost too late to do anything about them, then spring them on you all at once.
Today is such a day.
However, I am happy to announce that all five items of business I need to conduct have something in common: they are all good things.
Item The First: There will be a 2010 100 Miles of Nowhere
Many people have emailed me recently, wondering if there would be a third annual 100 Miles of Nowhere, since last year’s was a huge hit.
The answer, to my great joy, is “yes.”
I’m working on the date, but am planning on it being in April. Here’s the thing, though: I need sponsors. Companies that are willing to do something a little unusual for some good publicity, and are interested in the fight against cancer.
I don’t need money from these companies. I need stuff to give away — stuff that is exciting and compelling and will make people feel like they must join this race, if only to get that cool thing that you’re putting in their schwag bag.
If you work at / own / have a good friend at such a company, get in touch with me, OK?
Item The Second: I Am Apparently A Sponsor of Team CarboRocket
My good friend Brad Keyes invented an incredible sports drink: CarboRocket. And then he got together with some other great companies — Ibis and Ritchey Components — and launched a new bike team: Team CarboRocket.
And then Brad asked me to also be one of the sponsors. I was confused because, well, exactly what do I have to contribute to a bike team?
But then I learned about how Team CarboRocket is really, truly different from other bike teams and I got on board, fast. Because I want to be a part of this.
Here is the press release. You should read it. And maybe you should apply to be on the team.
Team CarboRocket is looking for a few good, ordinary folks who are on the verge of doing something extraordinary. You may not even know what that extraordinary thing is yet, but you can feel it burning inside of you. Hopefully, you already enjoy cycling, be it on the road or mountain.
Team membership is open to anyone who’s interested in doing something big. You may be a total novice or a seasoned veteran, we care not. What we do care about is that — whatever your extraordinary goal may be — there is an enormous gap between where you are now and achieving that goal. Maybe you are overweight. Maybe you have never ridden even a tenth the distance you’re hoping to ride. Maybe you’re missing a limb or two. Whatever hurdle you have to reaching your goal should make you dig very deep.
If this isn’t clear here’s an example: You are currently an expert level mountain biker with a resume stacked with impressive finishes and maybe even some sponsors and you want to finish the Leadville 100 mountain bike race because you’ve never done it. Sorry, not digging deep enough, no need to apply.
If, however, you’re a sport-level mountain biker and you’ve been thinking that the Great Divide Race is a little bit too short and you think it’s about time somebody rides from Canada to Mexico and then back, well yeah. We’d like to hear more.
What’s in it for you? You will be supported and sponsored by none other than Ibis Cycles in conjunction with Bingham Cyclery, CarboRocket sports drink, Ritchey components and the ever humble FatCyclist.com. We can’t divulge exactly what awesome deals and swag you will be getting from each of these sponsors because we are still trying to figure out what Fatty is contributing. Maybe he’ll publish your stories. Maybe he’ll give you his super-secret recipe for quiche. It’s hard to say for sure. But we will say that you will like being sponsored by us. A lot.
What’s in it for us? We love a good story and we want to follow yours, from ordinary to extraordinary. We will be there when you fall down, first, to laugh at you and then give you a hand up, a dusting off and a gentle push onward. You will keep us apprised of your progress and ultimately your attempt at completing your extraordinary goal by updating your story at regular intervals on the team blog.
We want at least half the team to be women and total team members to be 10. We don’t want your entire story just yet, only 150 words or less. You need to tell us a compelling snippet of your story including who you are, what extraordinary thing it is you want to accomplish and why it will be so challenging. Email your 150 words to Brad@carborocket.com. The sponsors will then pick 10 people with the most compelling stories to make up the Team.
And then we’ll come up with a cool secret handshake or something. We look forward to hearing your outrageously cool idea. Oh yeah, there is a one week deadline for consideration. You have until February 19, Midnight to submit your snippet.
I tell you what: I’m one of the sponsors, and I’m still hoping I can make the team.
Item The Third: Free to a Good Home
Some of you may remember that there was a time when Susan couldn’t walk easily, but still wanted to get around. I got her this cool Revo electric scooter:
This retails for around $2500, if I remember correctly. Obviously I don’t need this anymore, but I’ve felt distinctly uncomfortable about selling it. I don’t know why.
Then last night it occurred to me: there’s bound to be someone out there who really needs this, and probably does not have the money to buy it.
I’d like that person to have it.
If you know who that person is, email me. You should know that I need to either give this to someone local or to someone who is willing to come get it. Because I just have no idea how — and don’t have the money (things are a little tight right now) — to ship this.
[Update: The scooter has been spoken for. ]
Item the Other Third: The Winner of the Michael Rasmussen Memorial Water Bottle
Eight or nine years ago I conducted a little mini-contest: come up with a good alternate use for water bottle lids. DSPBrian had the following idea reply:
The water bottle top is the ideal cookie cutter.
Perfect circles and if the dough gets stuck you can simply blow into the pre-purposed mouth piece.
It’s an idea that appeals to me because it is both elegant and completely ridiculous. Brian therefore wins the Michael Rasmussen Water Bottle:
Lucky, lucky Brian.
Item the Fifth: Love and Rejection…On a Plaque
A little while ago, I asked you to check out my sister Lori’s site — she needed six-word stories about love and rejection.
Fat Cyclist readers came through in spades.
And now Lori has posted photos of some of her plaques, illustrating your tales of love and sorrow. You should go check it out.
PS: Item The Sixth: I’m going swimming for my workout today. You know what’s sad? That nobody will be there to catch the hilarity on video.