Help Me Out (2011 Version)

02.1.2011 | 8:42 am

I’m in the second day of a busy workweek (a consolidation week, for those of you [ie, my mom] who are interested in what I do for a living). Which means I don’t have much in the way of leisure time right now. Which means I don’t get to write as much as I’d like.

But there are a few things I definitely want to say. Briefly. If, in fact, I can be brief. Which I doubt.

201102010716.jpg Get Yer FatCyclist Gear Today. Cheap.

My good friends at Twin Six are kicking off a four-day sale today, with everything throughout the store going for truly ridiculous prices.

And by “ridiculous,” I of course mean “cheap.”

It’s worth browsing the whole site to find great deals, but allow me to recommend a few particular Fat Cyclist items that you may have passed on in the past.

First, the Fat Cyclist Wool Trainer. I love mine, and wear it often enough that should I ever be kidnapped, it would be the single best clothing item police should give to bloodhounds to sniff before searching for me.

The thing is, that wool trainer is normally pretty pricey. $190. Right now, though, it’s $99.00. So if you ever wanted one but just couldn’t make yourself spend that kind of money on a non-Assos item, get one today. Cuz once these are gone, we aren’t making more.

Next, if you haven’t got yourself a Fat Cyclist windshell, that’s discounted from $95.00 to $45.00. Women’s bibs are down from $90 to $40. And men’s hoodies as well as women’s hoodies are down from $40 to $25. And all the Fat Cyclist t-shirts are down from $22 to $16.00.

Thing is, with these prices, none of these things are going to make it through the day. So if you want some Fatty gear (and Twin Six clothes) cheap, you might want to get right on it.

Vote For Me. And My Sister. And Ree.

I talk about my (numerous) superpowers pretty often. The thing is, though, most of these superpowers are fake. Yes, it’s true. They’re just rhetorical devices. Hyperbole, even.

I’ll give you a moment to wrap your mind around that.

OK, now that you’re ready to continue, I will say that I do actually have two superpowers. One of them is the ability to eat more than you think I can. The other is to ask people to do things.

The first superpower isn’t all that useful; it mostly just means that I have to keep buying larger and larger superhero costumes.

The second superpower, though. Well, that’s a different story. It’s pretty powerful. I’m proud to say, though, I — mostly — use this power for good. Today, though, it’s all about me. Well, me and my sister and a friend of mine .

Yes, that’s right. I’m about to (once again) ask you to do some Bloggies voting.

This time, it really comes as a surprise, though. While I did ask you to nominate some friends of mine, I didn’t expect to get any nominations for myself.

But apparently, a bunch of you went and nominated me for the “LIfetime Achievement” blog award anyway.

Seriously, thank you for that.

And the thing is, with me hoping to get a “Best of Fatty” book and the Caretaker’s Companion off the ground, it would not hurt my credibility at all to be able to claim a Lifetime Achievement award when I go pitching myself to folks.

Meanwhile, my sister Jodi (Pistols and Popcorn) got nominated for Best Parenting Weblog, and my friend Ree of Pioneer Woman got nominated for practically everything.

So please, do me a favor and vote for me and my sister. And get your friends to. And so forth. Here’s what you do.

  1. Go to .
  2. Scroll down to “Lifetime Achievement” (it’s way toward the bottom) and select me.
  3. Scroll up to “Best Parenting Weblog” and select Pistols & Popcorn.
  4. Scroll all over the place and select “The Pioneer Woman.”
  5. Hey, go ahead and vote for other folks. Why not?
  6. Scroll to the bottom of the page and type the weird reCaptcha words.
  7. Enter your email address.
  8. Submit your nomination
  9. Check your email and click the link to verify your vote.
  10. Yay, this has ten steps.

Thanks tons. I promise, I’ll only ask you to do this like fifteen more times this month and then I’m done asking for stuff for me.

Until, I mean, I need something from you again.


  1. Comment by NYCCarlos | 02.1.2011 | 9:58 am

    Thanks for continuing to bring us quality writing dude. I’d gladly vote for you any day. :)

  2. Comment by Mark Kynaston | 02.1.2011 | 10:03 am

    No problem Fatty. Its already done

  3. Comment by Doug Porter | 02.1.2011 | 11:23 am

    I really enjoy, but completely blew me away. You’re officially number 2 on my personal best blogs list now.

  4. Comment by skippy | 02.1.2011 | 11:25 am

    Fatyty setting up the nominations and doing this blog post and making this comment has taken 4 1/2 mins, but still awaiting the email link !

    Must have learnt something from you, maybe some of your “super powers have rubbed off on me.

    Now you know why i have been trying to build my number of followers !

  5. Comment by Forrest | 02.1.2011 | 12:32 pm

    Super bummed, I was hoping to pick up a Fat Cyclist Jersey for this season, but they are totally gone, even the long sleeves!
    Sad Day
    Thanks for being all around hilarious!

  6. Comment by Kate | 02.1.2011 | 12:49 pm

    Man, I’d love one of the wool trainers, but the pink thing totally throws me off.

    Does anybody know how much the women’s cut differs from the men’s?

  7. Comment by Bragi Freyr | 02.1.2011 | 3:49 pm

    Cast a vote for your blog. I find it really very endearingly self deprecating, and follow it fiercly. ;)

  8. Comment by aussie kev | 02.1.2011 | 4:41 pm

    just bought a wool fatty trainer, seeing as mother nature up here in central QLD is throwing everything at us at the moment in the way of storms, flash flooding, high humidity and currently a massive cyclone due to hit north of here tonight, i have to question why i am buying winter gear !!!!!!
    its soooooooo hot !


  9. Comment by VA Biker | 02.1.2011 | 5:20 pm

    What, the Bloggies page actually scrolls vertically this year? What’s up with that? Sir, yes sir, I will vote this evening.

  10. Comment by GJ Jackie | 02.1.2011 | 6:06 pm

    Hey Fatty, I’d love some more FC gear. Any chance you can work with the Twin Six guys to design some baggy mountain biking shorts? I only wear lycra on the road. Thanks.

  11. Comment by Nick | 02.1.2011 | 6:43 pm

    Out of stock.
    (like everything)


  12. Comment by Nurse Betsy | 02.1.2011 | 10:40 pm

    Kate, the women’s cut run very small. about 2 sizes too small.

  13. Comment by Mike | 02.2.2011 | 8:51 am

    Cheerfully DONE!

  14. Comment by skippy | 02.2.2011 | 9:36 am

    ALL you Aussies visiting Fatty pass the word on Karen’s Ride !
    Go direct for update
    there are people around Bacchus Marsh riding with her to Thornbury on 5th Feb to help her get the message across.
    Consider it as a “Lance’s Twitter Ride” because it is to help Lung Cancer sufferers and i regretably will be still in france otherwise i would be there.

    Today rode around Luxembourg but the Leopard Team were elsewhere, don’t blame them as it was misty and minus with wet roads and snow in the air .

  15. Comment by The Real Doug | 02.2.2011 | 10:14 am

    Dude you owe us….

  16. Comment by Jodi | 02.2.2011 | 12:35 pm

    I love my brother.

  17. Comment by Haven (KT) | 02.2.2011 | 12:52 pm

    And…. voted.

    Checked out the gear, but unfortunately, I’ve had to put a moratorium on buying more gear right now. Too many bills, too little time.

  18. Comment by Adventure Nell | 02.2.2011 | 2:30 pm

    Done! Fingers and toes crossed :)

  19. Comment by Miles Archer | 02.2.2011 | 4:03 pm

    What, you want me to do something and there are no prizes?


  20. Comment by Marcus | 02.2.2011 | 7:37 pm


    Have you seen the photo of Lance that they are using in Cycling News today? It is quite laughable…

  21. Comment by Vince | 02.2.2011 | 9:01 pm

    Done and Done!

  22. Comment by Jenni | 02.3.2011 | 8:09 am

    Come to this blog to support this blog, not to farm followers please. It’s getting old.

  23. Comment by Steven | 02.5.2011 | 8:08 am

    Hey Fatty!

    I need some of that self-depricating gear! Jersey please. I’ve been waiting for a size that represents a non-stick size individual. XL please. The winter doldrums have convinced the scale to turn on me and I need orange motivation. Please advise as to when product will be available.

    Oh yea… love those posts.


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