Decisions, Decisions

05.14.2012 | 11:08 am

Update from the Winner: I just heard from ClydeInKS, and here’s what he had to say:

Elden – I am letting you know the results of my decision and will be much less dramatic that televised nonsense of a particular basketball player. I must proclaim THANK YOU for creating the motivation and inspiring myself (and my wife Mighty Athena) for losing some excess, it was badly needed! A second THANK YOU goes for not getting the waffles out after the week 1 announcement – I would have surely been thrown off course shortly after their arrival. And finally a third, and largest THANK YOU for enabling me to become the proud recipient of a used pair of shoes!! I have a signed copy of your book and seeing the signatures of many fabulous current (and favorite) racers made the choice a challenge but I must go with Lance’s shoes, and congratulate Kukui on winning the book and autographs.

I returned to the bicycle approximately 2005 when I decided to fundraise for LiveSTRONG and ride in Austin Challenge. The decision came following my father’s diagnosis of chronic myelogenous leukemia. I understand that Team In Training raises funds specifically for leukemia and lymphoma, but didn’t see LiveSTRONG as being discriminatory toward types of cancers. I have worn a LiveSTRONG bracelet on my wrist since the day I learned of Dad’s diagnosis and stands as a reminder and inspiration still to this day. Dad has recovered remarkably and remains in remission. His courage and willpower was remarkable to witness (he was in the process of a major home remodel and continued working as his body allowed following his diagnosis and treatments) and still amazes me today.

I continue to ride when able and aim to participate in fundraising rides. The Tour de BBQ, here in Kansas City is a fabulous ride and LiveSTRONG fundraiser that you should put on your calendar, the BBQ alone would be worth the trip! I have a bare place on the wall at my work place ( an outpatient therapy clinic) dedicated toward housing a pair of Lance Armstrong’s shoes and can’t wait to see them there! LiveSTRONG, for some uncomprehended reason, occasionally brings about negative comments and feedback, but their mission is one stand by and will continue supporting in your many avenues, as well as other areas, and am looking forward to riding Nowhere to support Camp Kesem!

Congrats, ClydeInKS! And hopefully I’ll be able to get those shoes off to you sometime within the next 5-6 years.

Decisions, Decisions

Suppose you were offered a near-impossible decision. But you had to choose. For example, suppose you had to choose between never eating peanut butter again, or eating nothing but peanut butter for the rest of your life (I’d go with the latter).

Or suppose you were given the choice of having to choose only one kind of bike riding — mountain bike or road — for the rest of your life (I know, that would be really easy for some of you, but it would be a very difficult decision for me, and in fact am sweating profusely at even the thought of having to make such a horrific decision).

Or — get this — suppose you were offered the choice of having to either get a copy of my book, complete with signatures from everyone in Team RadioShack:


Or you could choose a pair of Lance Armstrong’s worn out running shoes:


“But wait!” I imagine you saying, dramatically (by which I mean that you sound dramatic in my imagination, not that my imagination is dramatic, though it may well be). “How do we know that those are really Lance Armstrong’s shoes? They could be anyone’s shoes!”

“Ah, you are an astute one,” I reply. “So perhaps this will assuage your concerns.” At which point I — with a certain practiced showmanship — pull out the insole of the left shoe:


And indeed, this is verifiably Lance’s signature.

“But just in case that is not enough,” I then say, “Perhaps this video will be enough to put your fears to rest!”

Yes, that is Lance. And yes, those are the selfsame shoes, which are now in my possession.

And yes, those shoes really do smell terrible.

Not a Hypothetical Question

I pose this near-impossible choice because it is not hypothetical. The winner of last month’s weight challenge — wherein we raised more than $4000 for LiveStrong — is right this minute contemplating this very question, assuming he got the email I sent him a few minutes ago.

That person goes by the handle “ClydeInKS.”

The second place contestant — Kukui — will get whichever is left over.

I will report the results as I get them.

PS: By the way, among the weight loss challenge participants, the shoes would be chosen by 57%, the book by 42%, with 1% undecided.

PPS: I’m sure someone else is going to point it out, so I’ll go ahead and say it first: Lance Armstrong has the tidiest closet I have ever seen in my life.


  1. Comment by Charlie | 05.14.2012 | 11:52 am

    That peanut butter decision was made for me when my daughter was diagnosed with a peanut allergy. Now I can only have it when my daughter isn’t around (but not in the house).

  2. Comment by Paul Guyot | 05.14.2012 | 11:55 am

    An easy decision. The book.

    I wouldn’t want anyone’s stinky, smelly shoes.

    Except maybe… nope, not hers either.

    Take the book, Clyde.

  3. Comment by Erik | 05.14.2012 | 11:59 am

    Hypothetically speaking, if Lance’s shoes smell terrible, and given that Lance is verifiably a champion, therefore one can assume that the shoes of champions smell terrible.

    What do Fatty’s shoes smell like?

  4. Comment by 3d brian | 05.14.2012 | 12:00 pm

    If you and the Hammer happen to need an alibi for Saturday afternoon I can place you riding your bikes by the Timp Cave National Monument at 2:37. (You never know if you may have been accused of throw rocks of cliffs somewhere else.)

  5. Comment by roan | 05.14.2012 | 12:01 pm

    Q 1.) I would go with Never eating peanut butter . There are just too many foods I luv to eat.
    You must have returned from the RAWROD and The Hammer notice a change in the air from the brat brewing earlier. This odor had a gym locker killer potential. She then found your stash of L.A. gifts.
    So here’s what The Hammer nailed, “Fatty those shoes have got to go !”
    Your response with your wit, “Whew, I think they already have…”.

    My one question about the shoes…What size ? Just in case I can exterminate what is living and dead.

  6. Comment by NYCCarlos | 05.14.2012 | 12:29 pm

    that’s awesome! I’d go No Peanut Butter ever again, MTB (even though I haven’t seriously ridden any trails in 5 years or so), and The Shoes.

  7. Comment by ClydeinKS | 05.14.2012 | 12:38 pm

    I could not think of going without peanut butter, being without my road bike, and the decision regarding autographs comes to

    (Long pause for suspense..)

    Jeff D

  8. Comment by Miles Archer | 05.14.2012 | 1:07 pm

    Can I give money not to have to get the shoes?

    Sure, as much as you want! – FC

  9. Comment by Paul Guyot | 05.14.2012 | 1:21 pm

    Okay, so now can I have the book?

  10. Comment by AKChick55 | 05.14.2012 | 1:44 pm

    I’d definitely take the autographed book. :) I’d probably go no peanut butter since there are so many other yummy things to eat. Definitely would pick my cross bike (I’m cheating since I can take it off road and on road). Love that bike more than I should. Congratulations to ClydeinKS and Kukui!! That is so awesome! Thank you to Fatty for holding another contest and getting cool schwag while juggling several other responsibilities and a real job. You are a rockstar!

  11. Comment by MattC (yes, that one) | 05.14.2012 | 6:04 pm

    I can (and do) live almost entirely w/out pb…my wife can’t stand the smell of it, so it’s one of those things I can easily forgo. I’d take the book for SURE, and also my MTB for SURE (IF I had to choose). I don’t think I’d like a pair of used shoes (no matter WHO they used to belong to) on my mantle…unless I had a mantle in my garage I guess…(sorry Lance).

  12. Comment by Rob M | 05.14.2012 | 6:46 pm

    I actually watched the video a second time to see Lance’s tidy closet.

    Fatty, you have a strange power over people.

  13. Comment by Tim the Austrian | 05.15.2012 | 5:21 am

    The other video, prologue to the Africa trip, S#%t is that your backyard in the background.

  14. Comment by cece | 05.15.2012 | 7:10 am

    I would skip the peanut butter…I like too many other foods.

  15. Comment by SaddleAmericana | 05.15.2012 | 7:42 am

    Congrats ClydeInKS and Kukui, and good luck with your prize decision! Maybe you could have Fatty fill the other shoe with peanut butter, or send the book along with a PB sandwich for reading-time snacking?

  16. Comment by davidh,marin | 05.15.2012 | 11:49 am


    @MattC(yes that one) with three “babies” in the house how can you live without peanut butter??? For the sake of the babies i refer you to:


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.