The 2014 100 Miles of Nowhere: SOLD OUT!

07.10.2014 | 9:16 am

[Friday, 7:00PM Update: The 100 Miles of Nowhere is SOLD OUT! Thanks to everyone who registered!]

I’m going to be honest here: my objective today is to distract you. I hope — oh, I hope so fervently — that by dazzling you with an exquisite array of cycling delights, I will make you forget that what I am about to ask you to do is just plain silly.

I mean, think about it: I’m going to try to do my level best bamboozle you into riding your bike either in your house or around and around (and around and around) on a very small course somewhere, for a hundred miles.

I’m telling you, I have a lot of nerve. 


At least I do have one saving grace: I’m asking you to do it for a good — no, make that a great — cause: I’m asking you to do this race because by registering, you’re helping raise money for Camp Kesem, a wonderful series of camps across the United States for children who’ve been affected by cancer.

In other words, you’re making a real and measurable difference in the lives of kids who could use stand to have some good, silly, carefree fun.

Now, Fatty and Twin Six have been together since the first 100 Miles of Nowhere, but for the first time ever, you’re going to have a jersey you can wear during the event — as well as whenever else you’re out riding. And it’s a beauty. Check out the front:


It’s the first Fat Cyclist jersey using red instead of orange or pink (because red is fast), and it’s the first 100 Miles of Nowhere jersey — instead of a t-shirt. Also, it’s almost too sexy for words. Here’s the back:


The jersey comes in both men’s and women’s sizes, and look incredible.

So let’s get started with what you can expect this year in the 100 Miles of Nowhere.

What Is The 100 Miles of Nowhere?

The 100 Miles of Nowhere is a race without a place. It’s an event in which hundreds of people participate . . . all by ourselves. (Or with a friend. Or with 20 friends.)

It’s a very strange thing where you pay $150 (I’ve raised the price so Twin Six won’t lose money on the jersey, we’re including this year for the first time, as well as labor and shipping costs, also included) for the privilege of riding your rollers, trainer, or a very small course (like around the block or up and down a hill) for 100 miles. The profits from your entry go to Camp Kesem — camps all across the U.S. dedicated to giving kids of parents with cancer a week of carefree fun, at no cost to them.

I did the first 100 Miles of Nowhere by myself, back before I knew it would be annual at all. The second one a bunch of us — from all around the world — did together, and people sent in their stories, many of which I published here.

Since then, the 500 available spots sell out every year.

This year, the “official” date of the race is Saturday, October 18. And, thanks to the flexibility of the event, if October doesn’t work for you, you can do it another day. And that flexibility extends to whether you ride it alone or with a group of friends. It extends to the time of day: Morning? Fine. Afternoon? Awesome. After you’ve got the kids in bed and finally have some time for yourself? Perfect.

Once in a while, I hear from people who love a different sport — swimmers and runners, mostly, though I keep hoping for a rock climber. If you want to do  a marathon on the treadmill, that would be awesome. If you’re a swimmer, swim five miles. I’m not picky.

And of course, the very best thing about the 100 Miles of Nowhere is that you are going to win your division. You just need to make sure your division is specific enough that there’s no chance anyone else is in it (Like the Suburban Unicycle Division or the Team Marine Amphibious Carrier Division, for example).

And once you’ve won your division, send me the story of what your 100 Miles of Nowhere was like. I pick my favorite write-ups and publish them here in the blog. In fact, for a week or so after the event, I generally put up several stories per day.

Weirdly, the 100 Miles of Nowhere has become an odd community event, even though we all do it alone.

How To Register, And What You Get 

Registering for the 2014 100 Miles of Nowhere is ridiculously easy. You just go to the Twin Six site and buy either the men’s or women’s jersey for the event. When you buy this jersey, you’re also officially registered for The 100 Miles of Nowhere, and will get your jersey and the following amazing stuff from the event sponsors  around October 11:


Ride Nutrition and Tips from The Feed
The Feed’s brings convenience and education to on-the-go athletes everywhere, and helps take the guesswork out of sports nutrition. Having a hand-picked, hand-packed box show up at your door each month makes it easy to eat healthier, train harder, and see results faster. The Feed will be providing each racer a special 100 Miles of Nowhere box with energy food and recovery products, along with useful info on having a successful 100 Miles of Nowhere. 100 Miles of Nowhere participants will also get a special discount coupon for subscribing to The Feed

Camelbak Podium bottle from The Feed
Each race participant gets a brand-spanking new Garmin-Sharp branded Camelbak Podium Bottle from the feed, like your favorite pro team uses. 

A Jersey Pocket Cycling Wallet from Banjo Brothers
I ride with a phone, every day. Sometimes to take calls, sometimes to take pictures. And sometimes just to be safe. And I always keep my phone — along with some cash and (if necessary) a car key — in my Banjo Brothers Jersey Pocket Cycling Wallet. It keeps your phone safe, clean, and usable while you ride, with separate compartments for cash and a card, as well as a key.

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Seriously, I use mine every single ride. And every 100 Miles of Nowhere participant gets one.


The Sufferfest: “The Long Scream” Training Video
I love The Sufferfest videos. Love them and hate them, that is. You know what I mean? Well, you will, because The Sufferfest is going to inflict on…er, give 100 Miles of Nowhere participants a free copy of their “The Long Scream” video. The 30 minute session is a time trial workout based on on the UCI Time Trial World Championships. You can see a preview here.  


CarboRocket: Two Single-Serve Pouches
CarboRocket is amazing. It tastes great, goes down easy, and fuels you the way you need to be. It’s what I drank at the Rockwell Relay. It’s what I’ll drink at the Leadville 100 in August. It’s what I’ll drink at the XTerra in Ogden in September, as well as the half-Ironman in September. It’s what I’ll drink as I solo-singlespeed the 25 Hours in Frog Hollow this Halloween. It is, in short, what I drink when I’m racing. And it never makes me sick. It is, as I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph, amazing. And you’ll get two single-serve packs to fuel and hydrate you during your 100 Miles of Nowhere.


Gu Roctane: Two Packets
The guys at Gu Energy Labs added more of everything that makes GU Energy Gel the category leader and added a few more things for ultra distance and high intensity efforts, resulting in the most efficient, high performance gel you can use in training and racing. 

I swear by this as my go-to endurance fuel, and so does The Hammer.

Each 100 Miles of Nowhere participant gets one packet of my favorite flavor (Vanilla Orange), and The Hammer’s favorite flavor (Cherry Lime).

You decide which you like best.  


DZ-Nuts and DZ-Nuts Bliss
Each race participant gets sample packets of the best chamois cream in the world. One his, one hers. We won’t judge you for using and loving both, regardless of your gender. 


A Race Plate from Bike Monkey
It’s not a race if you don’t have a race number. Bike Monkey, the promotors of Levi’s Gran Fondo, Annadel XC, the Boggs Enduro, and Rebecca’s Private Idaho, are going to give you your own unique race number to ensure everyone knows that you’re not just riding around your block a hundred times…you’re racing around your block a hundred times. 

Bonus Random Drawing Prizes

Astonishingly, everyone gets everything listed here. But a few race participants will be drawn for some awesome bonus prizes:

  • (6) $100 Gift Certificates to Twin Six: The awesome guys at Twin Six are pitching in SIX $100 gift certificates to their site, setting six random people up for an amazingly nice surprise, in the form of whatever they’d like to spend their $100 on in the store.
  • A Sufferlandrian Patriot Pack to a random lucky person, including a Sufferlandrian Flag, Decal Set and Sufferfest t-shirt.

Wrapping Up 

I know, I know. This was a lot to process. So here are the essentials:

  • The 100 Miles of Nowhere benefits Camp Kesem
  • The official date is Saturday, October 18
  • It costs $150
  • Men, click here to register
  • Women, click here to register
  • You get an awesome jersey, and an incredibly valuable box of food and swag.
  • Write up your entertaining an inspiring story after you’ve won your division in the 100 Miles of Nowhere, and send it to me. I’ll do my best to post it, so everyone in the world will know how awesome you are.

Good luck, and let me know in the comments when you’ve registered


  1. Comment by zeeeter | 07.10.2014 | 9:20 am

    Done! Now it’s all about venue, venue venue.

  2. Comment by Bruce Bebow | 07.10.2014 | 9:20 am


  3. Comment by Tom in Albany | 07.10.2014 | 9:21 am

    Woohoo!! I’m in!

    Now, the route…

  4. Comment by pgreen | 07.10.2014 | 9:21 am

    Twin Six servers are already overloaded lol
    I went to check out and got the “Something bad happened” message LOL!!

  5. Comment by Marc Robards | 07.10.2014 | 9:21 am

    In! Looking forward to re-joining the 100 MON club!

  6. Comment by Fellowfattychris | 07.10.2014 | 9:22 am

    First the suspense to get the link, now the registration site is going slow :(

  7. Comment by Tes | 07.10.2014 | 9:23 am


  8. Comment by pbrmeasap | 07.10.2014 | 9:23 am

    Mission accomplished.

  9. Comment by Skatho | 07.10.2014 | 9:24 am

    Can’t get link to work – Twin Six apparently overwhelmed. My husband and I have done the 100 MoN for years now – this is really disappointing.

    Try again in a few minutes; I bet you’ll get in! It’s always taken at least a few hours to fill up, so if you want in, you’ll be able to do it. And thanks for being longtime 100MoN supporters! – FC

  10. Comment by Kamala | 07.10.2014 | 9:24 am

    I’m back, baby!!!

  11. Comment by zeeeter | 07.10.2014 | 9:26 am

    That is one very good looking jersey, now that I’ve had time to look. Kudos to all involved in the design!

  12. Comment by Wife#1 | 07.10.2014 | 9:26 am

    I can;t get through either – first was getting an adorable green “something bad happened” popup error and now it just won’t lad at all. Poor twin Six. We killed them again.

    Try again! I know you. You can get in through sheer force of willpower. – FC

  13. Comment by KenKoz | 07.10.2014 | 9:26 am

    Made it…took a little while, but I figured it would based on the number of live followers on Twitter. Looking forward to an excellent event in central Ohio.

  14. Comment by Turn The Damn Cranks | 07.10.2014 | 9:27 am

    I’m in. Health issues stymied my race last year, so now I am torn between whether to re-do it or do something new. Anyone in DC have anything particularly crazy planned? I am leaning towards a stage race in my neighborhood, but there are two ridiculously short loops I could do as well, although one would be the “dodge zillions of people and dogs while watching tiny little leaguers” loop, and might take 15 hours to complete as a result.

  15. Comment by bykjunkie | 07.10.2014 | 9:27 am

    i think we blew up twin sixes server! Error message!

  16. Comment by Marshmallow | 07.10.2014 | 9:29 am

    Division “Slow Rollin’ on Chisholm Trail, Y’All” is officially registered! And, yes, I was sweating up a storm waiting for registration to open. I’ll just call it an early morning cardio session. I can’t wait to read all of the ride reports!

  17. Comment by SusanW | 07.10.2014 | 9:29 am

    Registration completed!

  18. Comment by Jamieson | 07.10.2014 | 9:29 am

    Registration done, logged into the Twinsix shipping account before the link went live, seemed to work ok for me using my phone as a hotspot. Love working on the road.

  19. Comment by Fellowfattychris | 07.10.2014 | 9:29 am

    I’m in!

  20. Comment by Tom in Albany | 07.10.2014 | 9:30 am

    P.S. Fatty, You’re right. The jersey is aweseome!

  21. Comment by John | 07.10.2014 | 9:30 am

    In. Racing in the 100 Miles Of Nowhere, Murphy, Texas Division. Better name to come.

  22. Comment by Chase | 07.10.2014 | 9:31 am


    I love the jersey! Looking forward to the event.

  23. Comment by Ben | 07.10.2014 | 9:31 am

    While I wait, How’s twin six sizing run? Race cut? Club cut?

    Club cut. – FC

  24. Comment by Kessler | 07.10.2014 | 9:35 am


  25. Comment by Stef | 07.10.2014 | 9:35 am

    In! Now I just have to have a baby and get back on the bike…what better motivation to get back in shape?

  26. Comment by Dave T | 07.10.2014 | 9:38 am

    Were in but the twin six web site is getting hit harder than Jay Z in an elevator.

  27. Comment by Noel | 07.10.2014 | 9:38 am

    I’m in! The wife and I will be doing our second annual 100 MoN. The wife will insist on the same route as last year. The good news is that allows us to back Brody the Great Dane, possibly with some friends, as our race support crew.

    Excited! (And I might actually be in shape for this one)

  28. Comment by Tes | 07.10.2014 | 9:39 am

    Any Milwaukee-based readers, I’m thinking Lakeshore State Park – the island off the Summerfest grounds – one loop os 0.75 miles. Email me at if interested.

  29. Comment by MNNate | 07.10.2014 | 9:40 am

    I had the patience to wait for the circle thingy on chrome to spin 4 billion times. Twin Six finally loaded all albeit it was a little weird looking. End result ($150) = 100 miles of circular frustration.

  30. Comment by pgreen | 07.10.2014 | 9:41 am

    I’m in!! Woo Hoo!
    So Excited! I think my route will be in Valley Forge Park. There are a couple of short loops in there that might work!!

  31. Comment by GeekCyclist | 07.10.2014 | 9:41 am

    I’m in – the spring event never worked out for me, but this will be great motivation to get through the training rides during the hot Utah summer.

  32. Comment by Dan O. | 07.10.2014 | 9:42 am

    In for year #2. I see KenKoz (above) is also riding in Central Ohio.
    No Red Bank Rd. for me this year, something new and better…

  33. Comment by Mulie | 07.10.2014 | 9:43 am

    @DaveT! Ahahahaha! “twin six web site is getting hit harder than Jay Z in an elevator”. Too funny. I finaslly just got us registered as well. My only concern was that David is out of the house this morning and I will be heads down for work stuff starting shortly for most of the day – was worried we’d miss the couple of hour window. *whew*

  34. Comment by Mulie = Wife#1 | 07.10.2014 | 9:43 am

    My alter ego posted for me.

  35. Comment by UtahTom | 07.10.2014 | 9:46 am

    Per Fatty’s instruction, I used “the secret” and got in without a problem. I am now registered for my first ever 100MON and I couldn’t be more excited to race to nowhere and dominate my division.

  36. Comment by KP | 07.10.2014 | 9:47 am

    I’m in! I wonder if I could get away with doing 100 miles around the roundabout at the local Walmart.

  37. Comment by Mayhemnsuz | 07.10.2014 | 9:47 am

    The husband and I are in! So excited! Thanks again, Fatty, for hosting such a great event. This will be my first race ever. And as I really like riding alone, possibly the only one I ever do, so I’ll have to do it every year from here on out.

    Thanks also to Twin Six for inviting all of us to overwhelm their website on a Thursday morning.

  38. Comment by Keith | 07.10.2014 | 9:47 am

    Whoo, that was dicey for a minute, but Im in!

  39. Comment by Corrine | 07.10.2014 | 9:50 am

    I’m in. My son, Riley, is in, too! Can’t wait to get my jersey. Keep trying guys, you will get through. I can’t seem to get my comments to post, though. I’ll try one more time.

  40. Comment by Doug (Way Upstate NY) | 07.10.2014 | 9:51 am

    I’m in. Got the jersey so it would fit my son. I have a feeling it will be a father/son race :)

  41. Comment by MtlDan | 07.10.2014 | 9:53 am

    I’m in. But by the time that beautiful jersey arrives, short sleeve season in Montreal will be long gone.

  42. Comment by bykjunkie | 07.10.2014 | 9:53 am

    OMG I was scared I was not going to make it but I’m in! 4 years running! So glad to support the Capm Kesem again!
    Look out Mt Vesuvius…Team Fatty is coming at you!

  43. Comment by Bart the Clydesdale | 07.10.2014 | 9:54 am

    I’m in, I can’t wait to see the faces of the visitors of the local park when I am out doing 40 laps to complete my nowhere race. I hope to win the 46 year old 6′6″ bald guy division this year.

  44. Comment by RodNeeds2Ride | 07.10.2014 | 9:54 am

    Got in! Thanks Fatty!

  45. Comment by Ben | 07.10.2014 | 9:55 am

    Finally got through, hoping to place in the “Southern Western New Hampshire” Division.

    Very excited for my first 100 MoN

  46. Comment by Skye | 07.10.2014 | 9:56 am

    Success! But, you should have seen the look on Other Half’s face when I explain last night that I’m setting my alarm an hour early because there’s a Very Important Thing to register for in the morning, and that the Very Important Thing involves riding my bike in October (a pretty suspect idea given that we live in AK) on as “nowhere” of a loop as possible, like say, in the living room (which actually negates the October problem, but raises other issues, like not having a trainer). For 100 miles.

  47. Comment by SteveB | 07.10.2014 | 9:57 am

    in, thanks to my wonderful wife. That jersey is awesome.

  48. Comment by cyclingjimbo | 07.10.2014 | 9:58 am

    Totally stoked. My son and daughter are in, I have registered, and my son-in-law is working on it. We’re going to have a family FoF / 100 MoN ride on the 18th.

    Now, to plan the details of the route (mostly done already) and to get ready for the long day in the saddle.

  49. Comment by leroy | 07.10.2014 | 10:00 am

    Thank goodness my dog is good with computers.

    It took a couple of tries, but he registered us.

    He says he needs to keep my credit card for just a little while longer in case he needs to re-verify something.

    He’s always thinking ahead.

    (BTW — that is a nice looking jersey. Kudos to Twin Six and you. If it’s the same shade of red as Twin Six’s red deluxe jersey from a few years back, it will be very nice indeed. No way am I letting my dog cut a hole in the back for his tail so he can borrow mine.)

  50. Comment by Mike | 07.10.2014 | 10:02 am

    Well, I *think* I’m registered. Website got an error on the final submit, but my credit card was charged. No email confirmation yet, but I recall similar difficulties last year and that worked out.

    Jerseys are club cut? Hmm, wondering if I should have ordered a size smaller. The t-shirt from last year fits just right (nice and snug), hopefully the jersey of the same size will too??

    I find that I wear the same size of Twin Six jerseys and t-shirts (which are printed on American Apparel shirts). In the winter when I’ve chunked out, I wear Large in both. In the Summer, I wear Medium in both.

    This all applies strictly to men, however. For women, it’s not as straightforward. The Hammer wears a Women’s Medium in Twin Six Jerseys, but a Women’s Large in their t-shirts. – FC

  51. Comment by T | 07.10.2014 | 10:09 am


  52. Comment by cyclingjimbo | 07.10.2014 | 10:10 am

    @Leroy, was your dog able to manage the registration process?

  53. Comment by BamaJim | 07.10.2014 | 10:11 am

    In it to win it. Now to figure out a course for this year.

  54. Comment by AKChick | 07.10.2014 | 10:11 am

    REGISTERED!!! YEE HA!! Love the jersey!!!! Thank you for doing a jersey this year. Now I can go back and read the post. I think this is my 4th or 5th time. :)

    @Skye and @Kamala – I’m in Anchorage and I know at least one of you is too. It would be fun to have someone to ride with this year. Interested in organizing something? If yes, email me at AKChick55 at hotmail dot com. If we have three of us, we can figure out something outside (if the weather cooperates). Even if it’s icky weather, we could base out of my house and do little circles in my neighborhood. I’ll provide hot beverages and snacks. :)

  55. Comment by New Zealand Ev | 07.10.2014 | 10:11 am

    I’m in. Very excited to do it again this year. I missed last year. Looking forward to a spring 100 MON down here in Christchurch New Zealand

  56. Comment by Liz M. | 07.10.2014 | 10:11 am

    I’m in! This all came up so fast I haven’t had a chance to ask my son if he wants the jersey yet so I haven’t registered him (he’s at that awkward age and doesn’t really like technical-looking gear). HOWEVER, I looked at the Camp Kesem website and it looks like you can set up your own fundraising page, so I think he will very much want to set that up and raise more money for Camp Kesem from family and friends in conjunction with our 100 MoN. I put that out there in case any others are interested. Here is the link:

    I LOVE that you’re going to use the event to personally raise more money for Camp Kesem! – FC

  57. Comment by ScottR | 07.10.2014 | 10:15 am

    In, and more excited than ever!

    (I’ve been getting to ride more lately than I have over the last 3.5 years, and my son will hopefully be decannulated in late August in Philadelphia)


    4th of July Weekend ‘Freedom (from Cancer) Ride’ in Independence, MO – oh, your local charity ride doesn’t have a rest stop at an orchard that also sells pies, and actually delivers them to the finish line? (What more can any ride do to get the Team Fatty seal of approval?)


  58. Comment by UpNorth | 07.10.2014 | 10:16 am

    I so want to do this but can’t afford the cost right now. Maybe I’ll bandit the race anyways…

    If money’s too tight for you to afford the official registration, maybe you could “bandit” the race and make a donation of what you can afford to Camp Kesem. – FC

  59. Comment by ScottR | 07.10.2014 | 10:16 am





  60. Comment by Adam Schwarz | 07.10.2014 | 10:17 am

    I’m in and I’m certain it will be easier than the St. George 70.3 and this time I’ll win!

  61. Comment by Corrine | 07.10.2014 | 10:22 am

    @Skye, I saw you signed up too. Let me know if you want to ride up and down my road out in Goldstream. I plan to do the race in mid to late September, maybe the weekend after the Equinox before the snow comes, if you are interested. @AKChick, I’m sure you will be fat biking this if you do it in October. If you want to head up to Fairbanks, you could join me!

  62. Comment by leroy | 07.10.2014 | 10:23 am

    cyclingjimbo –

    Yes, my dog got us registered at Twin Six, but he says he needs to hang on to my credit card.

    I just got an email from a different website asking if I authorized his purchase of something called a Dogma by some company called Pinarello.

    Wonder what that’s about.

  63. Comment by PNP | 07.10.2014 | 10:27 am

    Registered! Now for a division name….

  64. Comment by grindill | 07.10.2014 | 10:31 am

    OK, registered. Almost didn’t because of the price, but I’ll just have to eat PB&Js for a month or two. The cause is worth it.

    Nothing better in the world than PB&J! – FC

  65. Comment by AKChick | 07.10.2014 | 10:35 am

    Oh @Leroy your posts are priceless!

    @Corinne – that is tempting except it’s a LONG drive to Fairbanks. :) We didn’t have any snow last October, but it was pretty chilly. I never know what October will bring in Southcentral!

  66. Comment by TedM | 07.10.2014 | 10:43 am

    Good to see some other central Ohio riders are on board as well. Dan O., did you do repeaters on Red Bank for 100 miles?

  67. Comment by cyclingjimbo | 07.10.2014 | 10:50 am

    @ Leroy -

    Apologies to you and your dog – I read through the comments again and noticed your post a few ahead of my question. I shoudl have known that your dog would be all over this.

    As for the Dogma and Pinarello, it’s probably nothing – but you might want to get your credit card back before your dog does something outlandish with it. I mean, would you really want to have a blow-up golden in the corner?

  68. Comment by ClydeinKS | 07.10.2014 | 10:54 am

    In again, three years running – bummed to not have the time to organize an event like last year but will do what possible to make it interesting, or at least help push the hours of monotony by. LOVE the jersey and being able to have in time, GREAT idea!!

  69. Comment by BostonCarlos (formerly NYC) | 07.10.2014 | 10:59 am

    I’m in! Here’s the route: It’s gonna hurt.

    I’m serious about the matching kit request! :)

  70. Comment by yannb | 07.10.2014 | 11:00 am

    i’m in.

  71. Comment by je | 07.10.2014 | 11:03 am


  72. Comment by Jeremy | 07.10.2014 | 11:11 am

    I’m in. The swag is so good I bought most of it with my own money.

    @Liz M. Thanks for posting that link. I was contemplating using this as a fundraiser, too.

  73. Comment by Cameron | 07.10.2014 | 11:25 am

    Registered. 1st 100 MON and 1st century ride. Now to pin down where the 100 miles will be happening.

  74. Comment by Mark J. in Dallas | 07.10.2014 | 11:54 am

    Hey John in Murphy, Texas post a note or e-mail me at (markhjohnston at if you’re interested in getting a small group together. Me and another guy do this every year, usually at White Rock Lake and last year we did a trail in McKinney but if you have a good route we’re open to join up. The more the merrier. I always thought the Frisco Velodrome would be cool to use for this.

    Nice job on the jersey Fatty. My 4th year.

  75. Comment by Eric L | 07.10.2014 | 11:55 am

    I’m in. Looking forward to doing this in the Fall. I’m thinking of a route at Point Richmond, CA. A tunnel, rail-road tracks, but new pavement – it should be good. There’ll be a pub I’ll be passing by all day that will be a good place to finish.

    Super great jersey! Thanks for doing this again Fatty!

  76. Comment by DavidV | 07.10.2014 | 12:01 pm

    My first 100MTN event. I’m excited. Anyone in Toronto doing it?

  77. Comment by Susan's Sister Christine | 07.10.2014 | 12:18 pm

    I decided to jump on in and do this. I love the jerseys. And I love the time of year this is being done.

    And I really love supporting Camp Kesem. I’m so glad I got to go and see it in action. They do such a good job in creating such a fun place for the kids. But I especially loved seeing the way Katie and Carrie captured the hearts of everyone working there. They are special girls and I love them so much (and you and the rest of the family). :)

    Stoked to have you in the race, Chris! – FC

  78. Comment by Annette | 07.10.2014 | 12:30 pm

    We have been looking forward to participating in this event since reading some of the stories and experiences on your blog and are super excited that it is finally here. My husband is registered but we are wanting to do this as a couple on a tandem, is there a way to get an extra jersey or do we need to register twice?

  79. Comment by Marty | 07.10.2014 | 12:33 pm

    Took the plunge! I’m in! It’s going to take some brainstorming to come up with a suitable venue; out here in Iowa, everywhere is nowhere! I’m guessing gravel will be involved.

  80. Comment by wharton_crew | 07.10.2014 | 12:39 pm

    Mark J in Dallas – the Frisco Velodrome would be awesome! I’ve never ridden a velodrome before, and I’m dying to try. Alternatively, if you crave tighter circles, you can try this route that I’m thinking about:

    “This is a 0.39 mi route in . The route has a total ascent of 1.02 ft”

    1.02 ft in climbing per loop! All said, we’ll get in over 250 feet of climbing! That must be a record for Texas.

    Who’s with me!!!

  81. Comment by Mike Kennedy | 07.10.2014 | 12:44 pm

    What an awesome idea! I registered and plan to ride the single speed on and in the velodrome that never got past the dirt formation here in Eagle, Idaho.

  82. Comment by P Gutty | 07.10.2014 | 12:54 pm

    I’m in. Got a couple of “something bad happened”s, and almost accidentally bought two entries (on the same note, if anyone wants one of last year’s men’s jerseys in large, email me at paul (dot) gutman (at)

  83. Comment by Marshmallow | 07.10.2014 | 12:56 pm

    Mark J in Dallas, wharton_crew, and John in Murphy, TX: glad to see North Texas so well represented! I’ll be 100 MoN-ing in Plano this year. Texas MoN forever!

    Wharton_crew: you may just win the Noodle prize this year. That is some route!

  84. Comment by Frank | 07.10.2014 | 12:58 pm

    The 2nd annual .7 mile Tour of Bear Creek Park is on.

  85. Comment by Justin L | 07.10.2014 | 1:14 pm

    With the death ride this month and levi’s Fondo the week or so before this. I had no plans to suffer a short 100 miles at all, but for a good cause and a really cool jersey that I love, I mean really love good job, my favorite jersey ever, I am in. Maybe 100 miles on my fatbike, or maybe not

  86. Comment by Kristina | 07.10.2014 | 1:22 pm

    Registered…. wheeeeeee!

  87. Comment by UpNorth | 07.10.2014 | 1:22 pm

    Hey Liz M. – let me/fatty/us know when your son gets his page set up. As Fatty suggested I think I’ll do it “bandit style” & just donate what I can.

  88. Comment by Celina | 07.10.2014 | 1:24 pm

    Hooray I made it in again this year! While I would have happily done it for maybe a bottle or a T-Shirt, you have once again outdone yourself with the amount and quality of swag! Thanks Fatty, and thanks to all the amazing sponsors!

    Now, any other San Diegans present? It would be fun to do as a group :)

  89. Comment by Scott | 07.10.2014 | 1:35 pm

    Riding through nowhere to somewhere in a linear type fashion on a ride that I’ve failed to complete before. This time’s the charm. Hoping to win the Cheater-in-Washington category.

  90. Comment by Diana | 07.10.2014 | 1:40 pm

    Swimming 5 miles in a pool would be a lot easier (and faster) than biking 100. I am super impressed by people on my master’s team who designate one day to attend all 8 1hr practices. I’m not sure how far they go, but I think it is around 14. That would make for some interesting blog posts and definitely rack up some nowhere miles. ;)

  91. Comment by baelrati | 07.10.2014 | 1:57 pm

    registered – 100 MoN in Luxembourg

  92. Comment by Eric T. | 07.10.2014 | 1:58 pm

    Got the wife registered for her second 100 MoN this morning. This will actually be her first major “race” after coming back from hip surgery last December so she is super excited to be back on Team Fatty. Elden – Thanks for the continued opportunities to support great causes with great people.

  93. Comment by Slo Joe | 07.10.2014 | 2:02 pm

    One of your readers “with regrets” :o(

    Being retired and having contributed to Hammer’s relief project twice, MS, and a cancer charity, the funds are depleted. :o(

    LIke the Mets: “Maybe next year.” Me hopes.

  94. Comment by Michelle NZ | 07.10.2014 | 2:28 pm

    Long time reader, first time racer. Very pleased to be in. Now to come up with a suitably nowhere route, a winnable division and then to get training. I’ve never ridden even close to that far! New Zealand Ev, I’m in Christchurch too.

  95. Comment by Luis Miguel Hincapié | 07.10.2014 | 2:47 pm


  96. Comment by Jerry Pringle | 07.10.2014 | 2:50 pm

    I’m in, 2nd year! Got registered at 4:30pm eastern, worried all day that it would be filled. Last year, 14 laps around an industrial park in Greenville, SC. This year – a true 100 MoN on the trainer, with the added bonus of attempting to become a Knight of Sufferlandria. 10 Sufferfest videos in a row, 10 minute break in between each. Anyone want to join? jerrypring(at)gmail(dot)com.

    Thanks Fatty, for all that you do, thanks to the sponsors this year, and thanks to all the Friends of Fatty who make this such a cool event to enjoy!

  97. Comment by Rob F | 07.10.2014 | 2:52 pm

    Marc J, Wharton_crew, Marshmellow, etc.

    I’m signed up for my 1st 100 MoN in Fort Worth. I might be up for making a drive to get some DFW shared pain.

  98. Comment by IDK | 07.10.2014 | 3:16 pm

    Anyone else in the Twin Cities participating? I’ve done the ride twice before in DC, but I’m new to Minnesota and it would be great to meet some fellow boredom enthusiasts.

  99. Comment by FodFod | 07.10.2014 | 3:17 pm

    Registered, 1st year 100 MoN…October in Washington could alter my plans as rain on a velodrome is tricky, but would love to do this on the velodrome at Marymoor. If wet, the big parking lot next to the velodrome for loops…

  100. Comment by KarinNH | 07.10.2014 | 3:35 pm

    Registered…and what have I done? I’ve only been on a non-stationary bike once in the last 30 years. I think my summer is going to involve some training! Lots and lots of training. And pain…lots of pain.

  101. Comment by Gretchen | 07.10.2014 | 3:56 pm

    Registered. This is my second 100 MoN. I’m so excited! I can’t wait to train, train, and train some more. I’ve been on the shelf for almost 2 years because of various injuries and hip surgery. Looking forward to actually having something to put in my training log other than physical therapy exercises.

  102. Comment by Al Pastor | 07.10.2014 | 3:56 pm


    I think swimming 10k would be a good substitute. I’m thinking of doing that myself.

  103. Comment by Isaac | 07.10.2014 | 4:02 pm

    @IDK — there are a few of us twin cities folks here. @NancyJBS and I (and a few others) did the 100 Miles of Darkness together last year and are hinting about plans for this year’s ride. We’ll have to keep in touch.

  104. Comment by spaceyace | 07.10.2014 | 4:08 pm

    Registered! First-time 100MoN participant. I cringed a little at the fee increase from last year, but I emotionally committed yesterday when I saw the jersey and it’s just too late to back out now. PB&J is fine with me. That is one nice jersey design…although I’ve never seen an odometer look quite like that ;)

    Forwarded the link to some of my weekend pie-ride buddies and at least one of them said she was considering signing up!

  105. Comment by bob in denver | 07.10.2014 | 5:06 pm

    In for the SW Denver, lost 38lbs from last year, Triple Bypass this weekend, possibly 3 laps up and down Squaw Pass (if there’s no snow) or a few laps over Lookout Mtn class.

    I think I already won!!

  106. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 07.10.2014 | 5:28 pm

    @ Susan’s Sister Christine
    It’s an honor to see you in this group, representing the very special person that first brought us all together.

  107. Comment by Fafnir | 07.10.2014 | 7:40 pm

    Must be insane but I’ve registered. I’ll be doing this in Sydney, it’ll be about a thousand degrees, so if anyone wants to come and hose me down at half time, you’ll find me on the north shore being honked at by bemused motorists.

  108. Comment by Mark Soderlund | 07.10.2014 | 7:49 pm

    I’m in. This will give me a goal to work toward as I’m having a knee replaced this coming Monday. I may not be able to do a century by October, but every “mile” i ride during PT will be counted toward the goal!

  109. Comment by Craig Smith | 07.10.2014 | 8:10 pm

    Hey Fat Cyclist!
    I just discovered you after I planned a 100 mile Fat-Bike ride in the quarry in my backyard, and a friend sent me a link to your 100 Miles of Nowhere. It seems my crazy idea fits right in with your gig. I may have to hook up with you!
    P.S. My original date was October 18th, 3 days before my 57th birthday, but figured I would need more sunlight, and changed it to September 6th. I suppose I could still change the date.
    My insanity…

  110. Comment by Lon Miller | 07.10.2014 | 8:42 pm

    In and now to decide on a course. Do I ride my previous course which is the old Dole Citrus/Sierra Cycling Classic road course with 750 feet of climbing a lap(8 laps) or do I go and play in the Sierras and do 10,000 plus feet in the 100 miles? Or ride the local beginner loop 10 times and make it easy on myself. Decisions. Decisions.

  111. Comment by Ed Perrey | 07.10.2014 | 8:45 pm


  112. Comment by ClydeinKS | 07.10.2014 | 9:02 pm

    @ScottR – how could you post porn like that on here? Bikes AND Pie?!?! I’m shocked at the picture not being empty pie plates though! :)

  113. Comment by Jeff Helm | 07.10.2014 | 9:06 pm

    I am in. I live in Irving Tx right next to Coppell. My first idea was to take a vacation day on the Friday before and ride around the building I work in (.7 miles). It should make for great street theater and it would be great to watch my co-workers heads implode as they tried to wrap their minds around me riding in circles for 100 miles. That said, riding with a group has appeal. I am willing to let everyone use my facebook page to hash out routes or arrange a meeting to talk about a plan. I work a split shift so Saturday or Sunday are best for me.

  114. Comment by Al | 07.10.2014 | 9:30 pm


  115. Comment by Matt | 07.10.2014 | 9:39 pm

    So psyched to in again and love the jersey! I am thinking 50 miles around the loop clockwise then the second 50 counter clockwise to unwind…

  116. Comment by ScottR | 07.10.2014 | 10:26 pm

    @ClydeinKS – I had just put up my bike and picked up the pies at the finish.

    Apologies for the graphic nature, just trying to pimp a good local ride. :-)

    It was my 3rd or 4th year doing this ride, but for some reason it was the first year that I was thinking ‘Fatty would approve’ as I walked away with pie.

  117. Comment by April | 07.10.2014 | 10:30 pm

    I’m in! Can’t wait for October!

  118. Comment by PeckishCyclist | 07.10.2014 | 10:33 pm

    I’m in–ready to pie trying!

  119. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 07.10.2014 | 11:28 pm

    FoF’s in Los Angeles and Houston: there is NO better ‘loop’ for you 100Mon. 300px-HOP.png

  120. Comment by New Zealand Ev | 07.10.2014 | 11:49 pm

    @Michelle NZ do you want to do a ride together. I’ m sure we could come up some kind of route. Email me at emb92959@yahoo.comif you would like. How cool to have someone else here in Christchuch.

  121. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 07.11.2014 | 12:17 am

    @NZEV Only right that your 100MoN be added to @Michelle NZ’s 100MoN therefore NZ 200MoN route. Since it will be springtime there while the rest of us are seeing the ‘autumn’ of our riding season. 2 times the ‘fun’(? )

  122. Comment by Tina | 07.11.2014 | 1:22 am

    @davidh-marin, lol! The location of the one in LA, that street is crazy busy! Biking there will not be fun!

    I raise you, how about The Pie Hole?

    Haven’t been to the one in Pasadena but the street it’s located on is pretty busy. The one in Arts District isn’t too bad in terms of biking. Will get boring, and people will watch you from several restaurants (which for me is a deal-breaker; it’s also not necessarily the “safest” place), but hey, there’s pie at end of the day! Can vouch for their pies, it’s pretty darn good!

  123. Comment by PaulW | 07.11.2014 | 1:48 am

    Fatty – struggled, struggled, struggled with my conscience, cannot afford $150 this year!

    BUT, can I join UpNorth in the Bandit division? What’s the easiest way of getting money to Camp K?

  124. Comment by Puddles | 07.11.2014 | 2:16 am

    Made it in, representing a division to be named later in Chicago. Thinking of an over the highway then under the highway loop, seeing as that’s the only climb anywhere near me. Who knows.

    Will be my first official century, unless I get bored and ride to Wisconsin and back sometime between now and October

  125. Comment by bykjunkie | 07.11.2014 | 2:33 am

    17 hours in and I was able to get a second registration! (Hey, we need to support Camp Kesem!)
    Fatty if I send you the jersey with a pre paid envolope, will you and The Hammer sign it?

  126. Comment by Saxman2006 | 07.11.2014 | 5:08 am

    Fatty….here we go again….

  127. Comment by Mtn Goat | 07.11.2014 | 5:16 am

    Gear Goat and Bossy Goat are in from just outside Toronto Ontario (yes DavidV) another from Toronto! In true Ultramarathon fashion I can already visualize the course, some pavement, gravel, double track and equal amounts of single track! Question is one massive loop or two!

    Super stoked for the jersey!

    Think I might call the route the Mountain Goat Trotts!! Just told the wife the name of the route, and I got ‘the look’ haha!!!

  128. Comment by NancyJBS | 07.11.2014 | 7:06 am

    Love everything about the 100 MoN! Last year eleven of us rode the race, with 6 of our racers poaching. We rode all 100 miles in the dark and, according to our Garmins, we went somewhere and came back, but it all seemed like nowhere in the dark countryside.

    This year? Probably a dark ride in the city (Minneapolis), but I’m toying with setting up my trainer under a bridge and dressing as a troll. The Troll 100 MoN? Or just another Dark 100 MoN?

    What say you, @Isaac? I see we have @IDK and @MNNate commenting here. Naturally, they’re invited to join us if they agree to abide by the “no whining before 3am” rule.

  129. Comment by cyclingjimbo | 07.11.2014 | 7:19 am

    This has to be one of the most heavily commented upon posts Fatty has ever had – a testament to the loyal following and great imaginations of Fatty’s friends. The 100 MoN has unleashed the creative energy of a supportive and enthusiastic group, and I am really looking forward to the stories that will come out of this event.

    Kudos to everyone who is so psyched to be a part of this, and good pedaling to all of you.

  130. Comment by Marty | 07.11.2014 | 9:10 am

    Craig Smith @ 8:10pm. What is it with 50-somethings? I’m just a few months younger than you and I’m considering 100 miles of gravel on my fat bike…in the dark. (100 miles of nothingness) We are truly “Fat Cyclists”. Good luck!

  131. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 07.11.2014 | 11:00 am

    @Marty Many of us are obviously “Fat Head Cyclists” too!

  132. Comment by Isaac | 07.11.2014 | 12:15 pm

    @NancyJBS – The troll thing would be fun, but only if we’re under a bridge that people actually use the whole time we’d be there, so we can heckle / be heckled. I don’t know if I can stay on a trainer that long, though. Maybe some kind of relay — 4 bikes on rollers, but only 3 riders at a time. The fourth is rides across the bridge and back. Maybe grabs a cold beverage from the truck. Or something. Might be hard to track mileage though.

    Or 100 Miles of Elm Creek.

    Or 100 Miles of Theo. ~5 miles of MTB trails? In the city? Would be interesting… 100 Miles of TrollTheo? Is there a bridge there? 10 minutes on the trainer, lap of Theo, 10 minutes of trainer, lap of Theo. Lather, rinse repeat.

  133. Comment by Pete | 07.11.2014 | 12:16 pm

    Signed up.. I have a venue in mind, which includes a .8 mile figure 8 around the neighborhood.

  134. Comment by Dave | 07.11.2014 | 1:17 pm

    Signed myself up. Then I convinced my wife she should sign up as well. She is not a cyclist so this is going to require some effort. But at least we’ll have a sort of fun goal to work towards over the rest of the summer.

  135. Comment by IDK | 07.11.2014 | 1:41 pm

    @Isaac & @NancyJBS : Yes! Please do keep me posted on what you have planned for the ride.

  136. Comment by NancyJBS | 07.11.2014 | 2:39 pm

    @IDK Send me your contact info by emailing me at nancyjbs at aol dot com

    Lucky me! Today the Twin Six folks were having a “garage sale” of samples, test runs, etc… and they were serving beer and brats! A few hours ago there were still about 20 registrations remaining and Brent was super impressed at how fast this event has sold, given the steeper price because of the jersey. Well that’s because jersey is AWESOME and so is the cause.

    Oh, @Leroy? Tell your dog that I support his choice on the Pinarello Dogma… I get to ride one in Italy this October and I hear it will not suck. By any chance did your dog select the black one? Very stealthy!

  137. Comment by Nick | 07.11.2014 | 2:48 pm

    After missing out last year I’m in. Huzzah! Planning on doing the 5 mile green loop at Fineshades Woods once and make up the other 95 miles doing the 7 blue skills loops, so about 13 miles a loop. I’m estimating this will mean doing each skills loop between 200 to 250 times. This will either be miserable or awesome.

  138. Comment by Andy | 07.11.2014 | 3:04 pm

    I’m in. Though I’m probably a little nuts to try. I’ve got a bad neck, a bad back, and worst of all a bad knee. Oh, and I sweat profusely so I’m prone to rapid dehydration. I’ve not done anything this epic before, so this will require some strategizing. My ride is nailed down though; Catrike 700. Fastest lawn chair in the county.

    Let’s do this.

  139. Comment by Kenny | 07.11.2014 | 4:11 pm

    I entered the “just for fun” category which includes pounding a craft beer before each lap. Heather insisted on the open pro women category. She’s going to crush it.

  140. Comment by AKChick | 07.11.2014 | 5:25 pm

    I want to participate on Kenny’s team! :) MMMMM Beeeeerrrr (however, the course could only be 2-3 laps, otherwise I’d be passed out #lightweight)

  141. Comment by AKChick | 07.11.2014 | 5:30 pm

    Oh my gosh @bykjunkie great idea! Can I send my jersey in to be signed by you and The Hammer? :) I’m super serious. I’m gonna wear it first though. I will include a postage paid envelope for the return. :) Actually, I’d love it if as many of the kids could sign it too!!

  142. Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.11.2014 | 11:05 pm

    @akchick. If the kids start signing you may want to get a bigger jersey.

  143. Comment by New Zealand Ev | 07.12.2014 | 1:32 am

    I think I’ve decided on a course for my 100 MON. I am going to do the NZ Elite Nationals course loop 1. I will be doing this 13 times. @Michelle NZ if you want to join me email me Now to work on some long distance training rides to be ready in Oct for this. So excited!!

  144. Comment by wharton_crew | 07.12.2014 | 9:47 am

    Starting now to carbo load! Pass the pancakes!

  145. Comment by ClydeinKS | 07.12.2014 | 1:03 pm

    Kenny’s got the right idea – guessing your course is a .5-1.0 mile loop? I’ll ride along in your BOB trailer and keep you supplied!

  146. Comment by Kristy in MD | 07.13.2014 | 10:52 am

    Two of us registered and got a little over excited about the race… We started talking about how much fun going nowhere could be and the next thing we know our local bike store, sports medicine and physical therapy office, commercial property developer, VO2 max tester, and a tattoo shop would love to make a race to nowhere an event. Holy cow!

    The plan is to race around the parking lot, around 1/10 of a mile. We will have all categories to ride in, including a walk-on test ride relay category. We may have lap sponsors, gag prop lap sponsors, food sponsors. A silly community event.

    I think we could raise a few extra bucks for Camp Kesem and a couple other local charities.

    Is it possible to get a logo to stick on a banner?

    And we love sufferfest – so glad they are part of the silliness and madness.

    Wow, Kristy. That is awesome. I can’t wait to see your race report! Email the Twin Six guys, they will probably be happy to let you use the logo. – FC

  147. Comment by Peter | 07.13.2014 | 9:24 pm

    Woot! Happy to be a part of yet another year of silliness and fundraising! Now where is that perpetual downhill…maybe I could set up a treadmill in a decline and put my bike on that…100 miles of coasting! And I could eat pie and brats and watch TV. Sounds like a Couchlandrian…

    Q about the Sufferfest video: I love them and already have The Long Scream. Perchance they’d swap that out for a different one for those of us who already have it? If not, no worries, but I thought I’d ask.

  148. Comment by AKChick | 07.13.2014 | 9:41 pm

    @DavidH – I ordered an XL. Let’s just say that I’m very well endowed for a girl.If the whole Fatty Fam signs, I should be good. :)

  149. Comment by Ewok | 07.14.2014 | 7:33 am

    I’m registered! Really excited about this, and I’ll be riding through corn fields. Fields will probably be down by October 18th, but I’ll still be riding next to them. Planning to get a group together, and my bro-in-law is signed up, too!

  150. Comment by Bonn | 07.14.2014 | 9:05 am

    “Once in a while, I hear from people who love a different sport — swimmers and runners, mostly, though I keep hoping for a rock climber.”

    If only I had known you were hoping for a rock climber! I most definitely would’ve signed up :)

    I kept one 100MoN entry tucked away, just in case. If you’re serious and can devise a rock climber’s version of the 100MoN, tell me about it and I’ll hook you up. – FC

  151. Comment by pgreen | 07.14.2014 | 11:39 am

    Does anyone know if noodle is coming out of retirement for this years edition?

    Oh, I sure hope so. – FC

  152. Comment by grindill | 07.16.2014 | 1:10 pm

    Previewed the course for the “Spectacular Berkeley Marina 100 Miles of Nowhere Mixed Terrain Cyclocross Race.” Almost hit all the trails. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll get them all on race day. If anyone is in the area and wants to join, let me know.

    Also, my wife has expressed interest in having a bake sale on that day to raise extra money for Camp Kesem. She says I won’t have to pay for my slices of pie.

  153. Comment by Heeman | 07.17.2014 | 12:37 pm

    This will be my first 100 Miles of Nowhere. I am doing the “Busse Woods 7 Mile Loop, 235 pound metal heads who live in Oak Park, IL – and love key lime pies, 40 year old division”

    Because the 7 mile loop is a longer per lap distance than most, I am assessing myself a 5 mile penalty. This will also get me 15 complete laps.

    If anyone in Illinois wants to join me, we will have homemade key lime pie baked with love by my wonderful wife.

  154. Comment by Stalking Goat | 07.19.2014 | 7:17 pm

    Damn it, I was out of town and incommunicado, and missed registration.

    I’m so going to bandit this race. You can’t stop me, race marshals! (Mostly because there won’t be any race marshals, but whatever.)

    I hope I can buy the jersey at some point from Twin Six.

    Now I just need to pick a route. There’s a section of New York Bicycle Route 5 that runs through farm country just north of where I live, but it’s got a rail crossing at an acute angle that I have to dismout for. I don’t mind doing that once in a day, but over and over would get kind of irritating. Hmmm. Must ponder.

  155. Comment by Joe | 07.24.2014 | 6:16 pm

    Awww! I’m so sad I missed registration. The jersey looks amazing. If anything opened up I would love to get everything.

  156. Comment by Mariah | 07.28.2014 | 9:01 am

    Ugh…just got home from deployment and heard about this. Unfortunately it’s sold out :( Boo

  157. Comment by Bandasrandom Twitter | 08.3.2014 | 10:58 am

    I enjoy what you guys tend to be up too.

    This type of clever work and reporting! Keep up
    the awesome works guys I’ve added you guys to blogroll.

  158. Comment by CycleMedic26 | 08.6.2014 | 10:17 pm

    Would gladly pay a late entry fee to get in on this! Somehow I missed it. *distraught*

  159. Comment by Sandra | 08.7.2014 | 3:21 pm

    Dang. I JUST heard about this and like CycleMedic26, I would totally pay a late fee to participate!

    Also *distraught*. When does registration open for next year? I’m going to be one of the first to sign up!

    Hey, since the venue can handle extra traffic, open it up to 1,000 next time!

  160. Comment by CycleMedic26 | 08.7.2014 | 7:04 pm

    Yeah Fatty! Let us participate!
    I’ll even forfeit my non-existent jersey.

    Your faithful readers


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