I know who the real star of today’s post is: the new Fat Cyclist jersey, ready to order now. So please don’t feel too horribly cheated if today’s post is essentially the same info you’ll find on the order form.
For those with short attention spans, here’s the quick version:
- The jerseys are available to order now. Click here to go to the order form.
- If you’re one of the first
40100 people to order, you’ll get a price break ($55.00 instead of $60.00), free shipping, and some cool schwag from Banjo Brothers and Matisse & Jack’s ( Bake-at-Home Energy Bars ). (The Matisse & Jack’s guys were very generous and upped their promotion quantity from the original 40 to 70, but those are all spoken for too!)
- The jerseys will be arriving in May.
- The jerseys are very, very, awesome. Click on the Images in this post to see larger versions.
You’re riding your bike. People see your jersey, which says “Fat Cyclist” on it. And yet, paradoxically, this jersey actually bolsters your already overwhelmingly good looks, bringing you well into the smokin’ hot zone. You are now as irresistably attractive as you are athletic.
You don’t come across jerseys like that every day, my friend.
Designed and produced by the geniuses at Twin Six, The Fat Cyclist jersey identifies you as a Friend of Fatty, uses premium sublimated graphics, and is in short very likely to be your very favorite jersey ever.
Twin Six designed and is producing this jersey, which is why it looks so darn cool. Furthermore, this is not one of those cheap flimsy jerseys race promoters give you to make you feel better about the exorbitant entry fee you just paid. It’s top quality stuff.
Here are the details:
- 16 inch invisible zipper
- Anti-Microbial Treatment
- 100% Polyester Microfiber
- Premium Sublimated Graphics
- 3 back pockets
- Sizes: S-3XL
The fit is between a Euro-cut and an American-cut (great for both road and dirt riders). Choose the size as if you would for a Pearl Izumi or Sugoi jersey, and you’ll be fine.
Just in case the jersey doesn’t fit, don’t worry. I’ll get you one that does. You’re dealing with me, not a fulfillment center run by someone you don’t know.
40 100 Orders: Free Stuff, Free Shipping, $5.00 Off
The Fat Cyclist jerseys are going to be arriving in May — just in time (in North America, anyway) for short-sleeve riding weather. I’ve got to pay for them right now, though, and could use a little help in that regard. So if you’re one of the first forty people to buy a Fat Cyclist jersey, I’m going to give you a price break, free shipping, and some excellent schwag. Here’s what you’ll get:
- FREE Shipping. Yeah, even if you live outside the U.S. I figure it’s not your fault we’re not on the same continent, right?
- $5.00 Discount. A top-quality, sexy jersey is already a good deal at $60.00, but it’s worth $5.00 to me to not have to put the up-front jersey costs on a credit card. If you saw the interest rates I pay on my credit cards, you’d see that this offer is made purely out of self-interest.
- A FREE Banjo Brothers Pocket Messenger Bag. The Banjo Brothers Pocket Messenger Bag is a handy bag for unexpected errands, extra capacity, or a post-ride refreshment stop. Fits nicely in a jersey pocket or seat bag until needed ($4.99 value). And guess what: my good friends at Banjo Brothers tell me they’re cooking up a special “Fat Cyclist Edition” of this bag. Nice!
A FREE box of TrailBlaze Bake-at-Home Oatmeal Energy Bars , included with your order ($4.99 value, available to U.S. only, because the overseas shipping costs would kill me). I’ve talked before about how much I like these . Now you can try a box for free.Update: The 70 boxes of Matisse and Jack’s Energy Bars have all been spoken for.
So, to recap: if you’re one of the first
40 100 people to pre-order a Fat Cyclist jersey, you’ll pay $5.00 less than you normally would, you’ll get free shipping (which is worth another $5.00), and you’ll get a Banjo Brothers Pocket Messenger Bag, which is worth about $5.00.
I Anticipate Your Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Will you do a version of this jersey in womens’ sizing?
A. If I did, I’d have to order 250 of them. I just don’t think I’d sell that many. I’d love to be proved wrong, so if you want a woman-specific Fat Cyclist jersey, email me and get your friends to, too.
Q. When will the jerseys arrive?
A. In May, but we don’t know what day. I’ll ship ‘em as soon as I get ‘em.
Q. What’s with the colors and the horse? I thought your colors were purple and orange, and your logo was a cartoonish, paunchy guy on a bike.
A. The horse is a clydesdale — a perfect symbol / metaphor for the Fat Cyclist. I traded out purple for black because a purple and orange jersey looks like a clown outfit. Besides, the black goes better with all those black shorts you already own.
Q. So are you going to re-do your site with the new logo and colors?
Q. What does the “201″ mean?
A. Originally we planned to put the number 200 there, which is the cutoff weight for clydesdales (i.e., “Fat Cyclists”). But I felt like going with the bare minimum number didn’t give you as great a value as I would like. So this shirt goes up to 201.
Q. What if it doesn’t fit or it’s defective or I don’t like it?
A. I’ll refund your money or do an exchange or whatever it takes to make the transaction right. Check out my eBay rating — I’m very proud of my 100% positive…oh wait. This isn’t eBay. Still, I’ll take care of you.
Q. So are you going to do t-shirts, long-sleeve jerseys, socks, stickers, and stuff?
A. If this jersey experiment turns out well (i.e., I don’t lose a vast amount of money) I’ll do other stuff. Stickers and t-shirts seem like a likely bet.
Q. How did you manage to come up with such an incredibly sexy jersey?
A. By thinking extremely sexy thoughts.