Perhaps the third most ridiculous thing I have ever done is invent the 100 Miles of Nowhere. The second most ridiculous thing was to drink a bottle of Cholula in one sitting, and I elect at this time to not disclose the most ridiculous thing I have ever done, because it is far to embarrassing, and because it will probably make a pretty good blog entry at some point.
I am happy to announce that you too have the opportunity to participate in the third annual 100 Miles of Nowhere, with all profits going — once again — to Team Fatty’s LiveStrong Challenge.
What is the 100 Miles of Nowhere, you ask? Good question. Long ago, I rode 100 miles on my rollers in a single sitting, just to be bullheaded. Other people thought it sounded like something we ought to do as a group, so last year we did. Many people rode on their rollers or trainers, others rode a very small loop near their house.
The idea, basically, is to ride an infuriatingly small course for 100 miles, to fight cancer and to show you have no sense at all. People did it, and sent in awesome race reports, including one video that was so awesome I watched it five times. Watch it and tremble.
More details will be coming soon (like, on Monday), but the essentials are listed below (with the super-essential stuff conveniently bolded for, well, your convenience):
- Registration for the event is March 22 – 28 (or ’til the event sells out), and is pre-register only.
- As with last year, your registration makes you an official participant in the race and a guaranteed winner of whatever division you choose.
- The schwag box you’ll receive is on the extra-awesome side of the awesome scale, and will include the Twin Six T-shirt you see above, along with good stuff from Clif, DZ Nuts, Timex, CarboRocket, Team Garmin-Transitions, Harper-Collins, Banjo Brothers, and more (I’m being coy about the “more” part ‘cuz I’m still working deals and stuff). How awesome is that? Very, very awesome.
- Registration will be $95.00 this year.
- This event is capped at 500 participants. This is because I’ve asked the sponsors to provide awesome schwag, and they don’t have an infinite amount to spread around. And Twin Six — who, against their better judgment will be doing fulfillment for this race again — doesn’t have the capacity to send out a zillion boxes.
- The race is May 8. Or you can do it May 7. Or whenever, really. But for solidarity, you should do it on May 8. Unless you’ve got something important going on. In which case you should do it a different day. Have I made myself clear?
- If you’re a local — i.e., Utah County or SLC — you should plan on doing this event with me. I haven’t gotten the details finalized, but I plan on borrowing some bike shop space and making this a group thing. It will be fun! Just kidding, it won’t be fun. But it will be less un-fun.
As always, you get to be the one who decides what your route will be. You can be very bland — like me — and just ride your rollers or trainer. Or you can ride around the block for 100 miles. Or around the high school track. Or around your cul-de-sac. Regardless, you’re sure to generate a very interesting GPS breadcrumb, as well as a strong aversion to whatever route location you choose.