Here’s an amazing fact about one of my best friends, Brad Keyes: he makes a living as an independent mortgage broker.
I’ll let that just soak in for a while. Once you’ve recovered from your dumbfoundedness, I’ll be happy to continue.
Brad is also working on putting a couple of yurts on some land he just purchased on Gooseberry Mesa, which will give him the bar-none most-desirable mountain biking camping destination in Utah, which is saying a lot.
By the way, I have already gotten him to promise to do a contest on my blog to win a guided overnighter to Gooseberry once he’s all set up. It’s going to be the most hotly contested contest on this site ever.
And today, Brad’s got yet another venture he’s announcing, and a chance for you to win.
One of the things he’s doing right now is inventing his own sports drink: CarboRocket. Right now, he has only one flavor: mango, though I understand he’s come up with another flavor he likes just as well: kiwi-lime. He’s tried coming up with other flavors, but he’s scratched them, because they didn’t taste good.
It is, without question, the most awesome sports drink I have ever tried. Because it tastes good. It’s mellow. Not particularly sweet.
And it’s made by a friend of mine, either in his garage or kitchen (I hope it’s in his kitchen, but I haven’t asked and don’t think I will).
But you can also win a canister of it. By — naturally — writing an awesome limerick about CarboRocket.
The idea behind this contest is ridiculously simple, although perhaps more ridiculous than simple. In my comments section, write a limerick about CarboRocket. Brad will pick as many of the limericks as he likes and combine them into a CarboRocket Theme Song Mashup, which we shall force Kenny to sing (Kenny has an awesome singing voice, and I’m not kidding). We’ll record it, put it to music, and make it available for download. Hey, maybe we’ll make a video.
If he likes your limerick, you get a 20-serving canister of CarboRocket, free. It’s that easy.
But I have a couple restrictions I’d like to arbitrarily impose, just because, as the world’s best sports blogger, I can.
- Mind your meter: If the meter of the limerick feels forced or is just plain off, it’s disqualified. Kenny’s gotta sound good when he sings this thing; you can’t expect him to squeeze in an extra three syllables into the bar just because you couldn’t think of a shorter word that rhymes with “triumverate.”
- No fake rhymes: I hate sight rhymes. I hate near rhymes. If it doesn’t seem like a rhyme to my six year olds, it’s not.
- Be both clever and bizarre. That’s not actually a restriction I’m imposing; it’s more of a tip to help you ingratiate yourself with Brad.
- Do not use the word “pocket” in your limerick. I know, it’s the most obvious rhyme to “rocket.” Too obvious. So I’m eliminating it, just to throw my weight around. You should just be glad I’m not also eliminating “socket,” “locket,” and “knock it.”
Good luck. I’m sure you’ll win. But maybe you’d better go ahead and order a canister right now, just in case you don’t.