You knew this was going to happen eventually, right?
I’ve been writing this blog for six and half years. During that time, I’ve written right around 1500 stories. Quite a few of those stories, alas, suck pretty bad.
Every so often, though, I’ve written a keeper. And just by the sheer force of odds, I was bound to eventually wind up with enough good stories to justify a printed collection of my good stuff.
Instead, though, I’ve decided to collect my absolute worst material, and make a book out of that.
Just kidding. I hope.
Anyway, check out the cover:
The title comes from the The Wit and Wisdom of Dr. Michael Lämmler, where he scolds me, “I hope your comedian mastermind this time around might actually get the point.”
Clearly, as of yet, I have not.
Comedian Mastermind is the best stuff I wrote in the early years of my blog (as well as quite a few of my best stories for Cyclingnews.com and BikeRadar.com). It’s full of fake news, how-tos, epic (and not so epic) rides, the best cake in the world, the Assos ad teardown, Dr. Lämmler’s reply, my best Lance Armstrong and Tour de France stuff, and a bunch of other stuff that doesn’t fit into categories very well.
But it’s not simply the blog, bound up in book form. No indeed.
For one thing, every story has a new introduction, giving extra context — the story behind the stories.
For another thing, I’ve gone annotation-crazy on this book; I’m pretty sure there’s not a single page in the book that’s not loaded with ridiculous new observations in the footnotes section.
For yet another thing, Comedian Mastermind is a big, thick book: it’s 6″ x 9″, and about 350 pages. I promise, you are going to be all set for excellent bathroom reading material for months (approximately three months, in fact, provided you read one entry per day).
For still yet another thing, this book has been edited, which means — for the first time ever — you’ll get to see what my stories are like when they’re not a rushed first draft.
And to top it all off, it’s got a foreword from every single member of The Core Team. That’s five forewords. How many books give you that? Just one — this one — that’s how many.
Want to see what Comedian Mastermind looks like on the inside? Click on the sample page thumbnails below:
How Much Does Comedian Mastermind Cost?
The normal thing to do, when one writes a book, is to set a price. If people want the book, they come up with the money and they pay that price.
But I haven’t exactly done things the normal way, um, ever. So, how much this book costs is up to you. There are four different prices, to match four different groups:
- The standard “I like Fatty” price ($19.95): This is the normal price for a book like this. If you pay this, you’re saying, “I like what Fatty writes, would enjoy a compilation of his best work, and am fine with paying a normal-book’s-worth of money for it.”
- The “I Love Fatty” price ($29.95): If you’ve been reading my blog for a few years and have gotten more entertainment out of it than you get out of one normal-priced book, maybe you’d like to tip me an extra ten bucks. That would be awesome of you, and as a thank-you, I’ll autograph your copy of the book.
- The “I REALLY Love Fatty” price ($39.95): If you’ve been with me right from the beginning, or have started believing me when I say I’m a beloved, award-winning, internet celebrity, you can pay double the normal price, which is like tipping me twenty bucks. If you do this, I’ll not only autograph the book, I’ll write a note in the book that you specify (good if you’re giving it as a gift), or I’ll make up something a little bit over-the-top for you.
- The “I’m Nearly Broke” price ($9.95): If you’re hurting bad for money because you’re out of work or are a college student or you’ve donated all your discretionary money to the (seemingly thousands of) fundraisers I’ve done, get this version. I won’t make any money on copies I sell for this price, but that’s cool; I won’t lose any money on them either. And at some point, I think it might be valuable to me to be able to say, “I sold X thousand of my first self-published book” to someone, so you’re still doing something nice for me.
How Do You Order It, and When Will It Arrive?
Pre-order of Comedian Mastermind starts now, and ends November 10. At that point, I place the order, and then — once the books arrive at my house — start using child labor (specifically: a college student, two twins and a fifteen-year-old boy) to send your books out to you.
Your book will arrive on or before December 15 — in plenty of time for Christmas. Yep, that’s right, I’m urging you to give this book as a Christmas present. In fact, why don’t you give a copy of this book to every single person you know.
And that’s all there is to it. That’s not so bad, right?
Comedian Mastermind is the first of a set of Best of FatCyclist.com books. How many will there be eventually? I don’t know; I guess it depends on how long I keep writing this blog. I’ve got two more outlined, so I hope to do at least that many.
I will tell you, though, that the next book in this set is going to be different than the others. While the other books in the series are just for fun, the second book will be titled Susan’s Battle, and will be a collection of all the stories I wrote about Susan’s fight with cancer, along with a lot of additional new stories, giving details that I didn’t give in the blog.
My hope is that the second book might be useful for people who are going through cancer, as well as for people who are taking care of a loved one with cancer..
Further, the second book will be a two-for-one deal. when you flip Susan’s Battle over, you’ll have the novel Susan was working on and nearly finished. For one thing, it’s a fun book and deserves to be read by more than just a few of Susan’s family members and friends. For another thing, I told Susan I’d get her book published.
I’ll be using the proceeds from both this first and second volume to fund my big dream: writing (and if necessary, publishing) The Cancer Caretaker’s Companion.
So, you remember when, last March, I wrote a post called “This is My Plan and This is What I Need“? Well, the plan is now in motion. And hopefully, I’ll be able to use the money and credibility the sale of a lot of books brings to get The Cancer Caretaker’s Companion the attention it needs.
Meanwhile, though: I’m proud of Comedian Mastermind. It’s a fun book, and all else aside I think you’ll get your money’s (however much it is) worth.
Even if the title does oversell itself just a touch.