News Flash: Local Cyclist to Participate in Most Important Bike Race in the World

07.23.2013 | 11:16 am

A Note from Fatty About Today’s Giveaway and the Contest in General: Today’s giveaway from is awesome: a THREE-month subscription at the $19.99 level, which means that every month for three months, you’re going to get a box of food good for 10-12 rides. Like this:


In addition to this, the winner is going to get a 1-pound bag of Skratch Labs Hydration Mix, which is worth another $19.50. 

In other words, your on-bike food needs are going to be pretty much taken care of for the rest of the riding season. Nice!

And remember, you’re also entered to win the Trek Project One Series 7 Madone with ENVE wheels and cockpit, along with SRAM RED drivetrain. Wow.

So how do you enter and be eligible to win this prize from, the ones after that (there will be six more!) and the bike? Just donate here, in increments of $10.00. It’s that easy.

See this entry for details, and click here for rules and restrictions. Also note that Trek’s matching program has a ceiling of $90,000

News Flash: Local Cyclist to Participate in Most Important Bike Race in the World

Alpine, UT (Fat Cyclist Not Especially Fake News Service) – Elden Nelson, longtime resident of Alpine, Utah, announced today that within a few short weeks, he intends to take part in the most important bike race in the world.

“The Leadville 100 is the most important bike race in the whole world,” said Nelson of the mountain bike race in Leadville, Colorado, which approximately 99.999999999987% of the US population has never heard of.

“And I don’t mean that this race is the most important race every year. I mean that this race, this year, is the most important race in the history of the world,” continued Nelson, with no hint of irony at all in his voice. “No race has ever been this important before, and no race will ever be this important again.”

Asked why this race is so important, Nelson was quick to reply. “It’s self-evident that this race is the most important race in the world because it is the race I am currently thinking about, essentially to the exclusion of everything else. It’s still weeks away, but I’m constantly checking weather reports, mulling over gear ratios, planning out my food, and agonizing over which pair of socks to wear.”

“In short,” noted Nelson, “I’m acting like this is not merely the most important race in the world, but that it may in fact be the most important thing in the world.” 

Nelson then paused for a moment to reflect, then asked, “If it weren’t truly important, I wouldn’t be treating it as if my life depended on it, would I?”

Witness to Many Important Events

This is not the first time Mr. Nelson has been involved in races of such extreme importance. In fact, experts agree that every race Nelson has ever done has been the single most important thing happening in the universe at the moment it happened, as well as for the several days prior to the race itself.

According to Kenneth Jones, a noted current events researcher, “Elden Nelson has an uncanny ability to register for and then participate in races that — for reasons which are not perfectly clear at this time — become increasingly important as time progresses. By the time Nelson actually lines up and begins the race, there is quite literally nothing in the world so important as the race in which he is participating.”

Jones summarized, “People could be ten feet away, falling in love, crashing cars, levitating off the ground, curing MS, murdering one another, figuring out the final digit of Pi, whatever. If Nelson is racing, everything else is less important.”

“By the way,” concluded Jones, “The final digit of Pi is a 4, which seems like kind of letdown.”


Top physicists are currently trying to understand and explain how it is possible that whatever race Nelson chooses to do suddenly becomes so important.

“And it’s not just the ‘how’ that intrigues us,” says Dr. Robert Raleigh, a physicist with an impressive goatee that somehow conveys both breadth of intelligence and depth of wisdom. “It’s the ‘why.’ Why does a race in which Nelson has no chance of winning matter so much? Or suppose we take a monstrous leap of faith and imagine that he did win? The question remains: why does it matter so incredibly much? Why do we all care?”

“One thing is certain, however,” mused Dr. Raleigh. “And that is that any race in which Nelson participates does matter. It matters very deeply indeed.”

What the Future Holds

Shortly after Nelson completes the most important race in the history of the universe, he intends to race the Salt To Saint, a 420-mile race, as a solo time trial. “I have a feeling about that race,” says Nelson. “I think it’s going to be really, really important.”


If One Prize Is Awesome, Eight Prizes Are an Octo-Cascade of Awesomeness

07.22.2013 | 10:47 am

A Note From Fatty: If you find my writing as meandering as it is interminable and would like to just get on with the donating and prize-winning already, click here to go to the donation page.


I am not one to leave well-enough alone. For example, while some may be content with making their breakfast burrito with a couple scrambled eggs and a slice of bacon, I up the ante by adding adding onions, peppers, mushrooms, cumin, an extra slice of bacon, and choice cuts of avocado.

And I make the tortilla myself, using a secret recipe that came to me in a dream and which is as unrivaled as it is secret. 

And then I add salsa.

You see, I live by the maxim, “If something good is good, something better is even better.” I believe you will find it difficult to argue with my logic.

But Now There’s More

Now, let me give you another example, based on something that — with any luck at all — will affect you more personally than what I had for breakfast.

But first I feel I should recap, for those who have short memories, as well as for those among you who are new to this contest.

Late last week, I revealed a plan to help World Bicycle Relief in its efforts to completely drain Trek’s college savings account. Specifically, Trek has agreed to — through the end of July — match every dollar donated to World Bicycle Relief. I put a fundraiser in place, the grand prize of which is detailed last week (and re-detailed later in this post, for people who don’t like links).


And then I started talking with the guys at The Feed, a terrific new company from the same good folks who brought you the Garmin-Sharp pro cycling team. Their business is cleverly summed up in their tagline: “The best in sports nutrition delivered to your door every month.”

Which means you subscribe to their service, then they send you bike food (and drink) — along with info on how much and when — every month, at a much better price than you’d pay at the store.

I just happen to have gotten my first shipment last week, as a matter of fact, and I’m a believer.

So anyway.

The guys at The Feed had a suggestion. “What if,” they said, “we give away something every day left in the contest? And we’ll make it something a little different each time, to keep it interesting.”

I liked that idea. In fact, I liked it a lot. 

So here’s how it’s going to work. At the end of every weekday — including today — through the end of this month, I’m going to draw a name from all the donors (and that includes people who bought jerseys earlier this month). And that person’s going to get something really cool from The Feed. 

And by the way, getting this prize does not remove any of your chances at winning the bike at the end of the contest.

A Hint, Just In Case You’re Not Really Good at Strategy

So here’s the thing. If you plan to donate at some point during this contest, you should probably donate as soon as you can. Because the sooner you donate, the more times your name is in the hat when prizes are drawn. 

And that seems like a good thing to me.

Today’s Prize

I want to kick off the daily drawing with a super nice prize — one of my favorites, for sure. So, today’s winner is going to get a 14-piece, $19.99 food box from The Feed, which is enough food for 10 – 12 rides, and has all this:


But wait. That’s not all. You’re also going to get hooked up with a Team Garmin-Sharp Cycling Kit. The jersey ($99 value) and bibs:


…and bib shorts ($119 value):


That is a pretty darned nice prize to win. Indeed, I’d say it’s the first of an coot-cascade of awesomeness, if I were prone to hyperbole. Which of course I am absolutely not.


And This Prize Was Already Better Than It Had Any Right To Be, Anyway

So let’s get back to the main prize for a moment. As I mentioned, Trek is generously matching all donations to World Bicycle Relief this month.

Then they had the temerity to heap generosity upon generosity by telling World Bicycle Relief they had a bike frame on hand, to give away as part of the fundraiser. And not just any bike frame, either. But rather, a Madone 7 Series Frameset, styled all sexy-like with Trek’s Project One customizing program. 


And then ENVE, which makes carbon wheels and components so extraordinarily perfect they put the “lick” in “likable,” said they’d like to kick in some of their top-end wheels: 3.4s, 6.7s, tubular, clincher, you name it. 

And how about their exquisite handlebars and stem too? Sure, why not.

And then — then – SRAM joined in, kicking in their SRAM RED — Black Edition components.

And to get a chance at winning this bike — this bike that is really far too nice to be called a mere dream bike – all you need to do is donate in multiples of $10 at my World Bicycle Relief Fundraiser page. Every $10 buys you a chance, and if you donate $134 — the cost of a bike for a child in Zambia — you’ll get a bonus three chances. (see the donation page for details.)

So between the main prize, today’s prize, and the fact that there will be daily drawings each weekday through the end of this contest (July 31), well…that’s a lot of prizes. For a contest that is raising money for about as righteous (in every sense of the word) a cause as there could be.

And in conclusion, I — as a person with a sizable imagination — must confess: I simply cannot imagine anyone not being a part of this. So: Click here to go to the donation page, and thank you for being a part of this.

Change a Life, Get Your Money Doubled, and Win a Dream Bike

07.18.2013 | 11:22 am

P5230517A Note from Fatty: If you want to skip the jibber-jabber and go enter the contest already, just click here.

I love seeing the incredible things that can happen when good people and companies combine their natural inclination to do the right thing into a collective uber-outrageous nexus of awesomeicity.

That’s what’s happening right here, right now, and I really hope you’ll be a part of it. Because if you do, you’ll for sure be drastically changing the lives of children in Zambia — you’ll be a part of why they’re able to stay in school longer, get more work done, get better jobs, make a difference in their families’ well-being, and in general have a better life. 

And you’ll for sure be having every dollar you donate matched by Trek. Which means your generosity, right now, is twice as effective as usual. 

And — finally — there’s a chance that by being part of this you’ll win a dream bike that is so dreamy that other dream bikes dream about growing up to become this dream bike. 

Here. Let me show you.

What You Can Win

You might want to be comfortably seated for this. Not because I think you’re going to pass out, mind you, but because I’m very interested in your personal comfort. That said, the bike we’re going to give away is so incredible it may make you swoon. At retail, in fact, it would be about $15,000 of incredible, and would be a (much) nicer bike than most professionals ride.

One person who donates will be randomly drawn to win a Trek Madone 7 Series Frameset. This is there absolute top-of-the-line road racing frame, and it is incredible. 

But you don’t just get the frame in whatever color Trek happens to have in inventory. No. Your bike will be styled with Trek’s Project One customizing program, letting you select from thousands of colors and design schemes, from boldly simple to outrageously cool. Here are just a few of the possibilities…to kinda get your imagination going:

I call this the “Johnny Cash”


Blue flames are scientifically proven to make you go 9% faster.

Candy-apple red: extra-delicious

Of course, a frame isn’t exactly a bike, is it? You’re going to need to get yourself some wheels  and stuff to go with this super-zooty Madone frameset.

And as it turns out, the wheels, bar, and stem for this ultra-dream bike will be provided by ENVE Composites, a designer and manufacturer (right here in the USA, thank you very much) of parts so beautiful you can’t help but want to frame them…until you put them on your bike. At which point you’re really glad you didn’t go and put such incredible stuff on your wall.

ENVE is going to let you choose any wheelset from their collection to put on your bike. Personally, I would choose the SES 6.7 Clinchers:


And by “would choose” I mean “did choose.” These are the wheels I ride with on my own personal road bike. And they are amazing. They seriously, genuinely, and for reals make you a faster rider.

Of course, maybe you’d rather go with a deeper rim. Or a shallower one (I have to admit, I was very conflicted over whether to get the 6.7 or the award-winning 3.4). Or maybe you’re wanting to go tubular. Regardless, ENVE’s got you covered.

And then there’s the bar. I love ENVE’s road bars.


I personally went with their Compact Road Bar (42cm version), which fits better than any road bar I have ever ridden before. Plus the integrated bar end plugs (no more lost bar end plugs ever again) are a work of genius.

And then, of course is the ENVE Carbon Stem:


Yes, once again, that’s what I have on my personal road bike. 100mm version, in case you’re curious. ENVE says it wouldn’t be out of place in the Louvre. I say it’s far too sexy for the Louvre.


Even with all this Trek and ENVE goodness, though, you don’t have a complete bike. And that’s where SRAM comes in, with a full complement of SRAM RED – Black Edition components: Shifters, derailleurs, crankset, cassette, everything. It’s the first choice for riders and racers who won’t accept any compromise. 

This is the pro-level stuff, folks. Maybe more pro than pro. It’s downright Pro, with caps and italics.

Basically, this bike is going to be so incredibly nice bike — such an incredibly fast bike — that you might find yourself accidentally winning races. Which would be a pleasant surprise.

And in short, you have no idea how much it pains me that, as the person who has put this contest together, I am ineligible to win it.

How the Contest Works and How To Enter

It’s very easy to enter the contest. Just go to this World Bicycle Relief fundraiser page and donate any multiple of $10.00. You know: $10.00, or $20.00, and so forth. For every $10.00 you donate, you get a chance at winning this bike. And since Trek is matching your donation, you’ll actually get double the chances of winning the bike (of course, everyone else does too, so I’ll leave it to the statisticians as to whether your chances actually improve).

But you know what? a World Bicycle Relief bike — the bikes we’re raising money to buy for kids in Zambia — cost $134. So if you donate $134 (or more), we’ll throw in three  extra chances for your donation. And that goes for every $134 you donate, so $268 nets you an extra three chances.

You need to donate by the end of day, Wednesday July 31, to have Trek match your donation, and that’s when this contest ends, too. 

Pretty easy, right? So go donate now


What Your Donation Is Doing

Your donations (and Trek’s matching donations) go straight to World Bicycle Relief, which provides bicycles for people who need them in impoverished parts of the world, such as Zambia. 

I’ve visited Zambia with World Bicycle Relief, and seen firsthand what a bicycle means there. It means a chance to move past barely surviving to making progress. To finishing school. To getting a better job. To getting to a medical clinic in time. Read my report on bikes to schoolchildren and my report on bikes to caregivers for more information.

Basically, your donation helps get a bombproof, purpose-built bike to someone who will be able to use it to have a better life, and to help others. You’ll be making an immediate, powerful, and permanent difference in someone’s life. And that is pretty amazing. 

So really, whether you personally win this incredible bike is not very important. The fact that you’re doing something good is important.

So, again: let me ask you to donate.

Questions? Concerns?

If you’ve got questions or concerns, put them in the comments section. I’ll do my best to answer them, and Katie Bolling of World Bicycle Relief will too.

Here. I’ll get started with a few questions I think I can anticipate.

Q. Is my donation tax-deductible?

A. No. Since there is a possibility that your donation will get you a prize, your donation is not tax-deductible. I hope you’re OK with that. If, however, you’d prefer to donate, not be entered for the drawing (although Trek will still match your donation) and have your donation be tax-deductible, go to the main World Bicycle Relief page and click the Donate button there.

Q. Will the money I donate be safe?

A. Last year, a bunch of people wanting to do the right thing donated to the Paul Kimmage Defense Fund…and then the money disappeared. That can’t and won’t happen with this fundraiser, because I’m never even near the money. Your donations go straight to World Bicycle Relief, the charity your money is intended for. This is good for me personally, too, because it means next April I don’t have to deal with the tax implications of what would appear to the IRS as a big chunk of income. 

Q. Do I have to do anything to have Trek match?

A. No, Trek makes the match automatically. You don’t have to do anything.

Q. Can I participate if I live outside the US? 

A. Yes you can, but you are responsible for paying customs on the bike if you win, and that will be a considerable amount of money.

Q. I pre-ordered a jersey. Am I entered in this contest?

A. Yes. Your jersey purchased netted WBR $40 (half the cost of a short-sleeve jersey!) and netted you five chances at the bike. That pre-order is now ended, by the way.

Race Report: The 2013 Crusher in the Tushars

07.15.2013 | 3:52 pm


A Note from Fatty: Tuesday, July 16, is the final day for you to pre-order the 2014 gear. And bear in mind, when you order a jersey, a total of $40 gets donated to World Bicycle Relief, thanks to Trek’s donation matching program this month.

But that’s not all. Noooo. When you buy a jersey, you also get five chances in the contest to win a new Trek Project One Madone 7 Series, with ENVE wheels and cockpit, not to mention SRAM Red components.

Calling this a dream bike is an understatement. For reals.

Read here for details, and then go buy yourself a jersey. ‘Cuz we’re down to the last day, and then it’s too late. And that would be almost too sad for words.

Race Report: The 2013 Crusher in the Tushars

There’s nothing I enjoy writing so much as a race report. I feel like I have a gift for it, too. Somehow, as I race, even as I ride myself into the Cave of Pain, I store away the interesting moments. I recognize the highlights and dramatic moments; I see the focal point around which the rest of the race revolves.

That’s certainly true for last weekend’s race: The Crusher in The Tushar, an incredibly intense course in Beaver Utah, 69 miles long with around 10,000 feet of climbing, with a mix of both paved and dirt roads.

Without question, when the dramatic crux of my race occurred, I recognized it as such, and knew that it was the focal point of my own personal story.

Unfortunately, that moment was when I had to put my bike down, shuffle down the side of a mountain, undress more or less completely, and…

Well, I’m getting ahead of myself. But be warned: it’s exactly what you think. Which means maybe you might want to take a pass on reading this particular race report. I won’t hold it against you.

For now, though, let’s start at the beginning.

Drama at the Starting Line

Last year, I did the Crusher on a cyclocross bike, which was not a great idea, for the following list of reasons:

  1. I had no experience riding cyclocross bikes.

For that reason — among others, I’m sure, but mostly because of that reason — I didn’t do so great at the Crusher last year.

Hence, this year I went with something a little more familiar:

00796 01 0053
“Fatty Looks Into the Future,” courtesy Zazoosh Media

Yep, this year I raced on my Specialized Stumpjumper SingleSpeed (AKA the SSSS). 

The Hammer would also be racing on her SSSS — one of only two women (Heather was the other) brave enough to race the Crusher in the Tushar on a singlespeed.

Which meant that lining up at the starting line was more of a social event than usual: Heather, Kenny, The Hammer, me, my good friend Bry, and about ten other people would be racing in the SS division. 

Kenny and I had agreed: we’d do our best to stay and work together during the race. 

The race went off in stages. First the pros, then the women. Then we — the singlespeeders — rolled up to the starting line.

Which is when Kenny discovered his rear tire was entirely flat.

While Kenny quickly dug out a CO2 canister, I looked up to the announcer and asked, using my impossible-to-resist superpower of asking people to do things, “Could you please give us an extra minute before sending our group off.

“OK,” he said. “One minute.”

Kenny got his tire inflated, although we all wondered whether it would hold.

We took off, riding the first ten miles of pavement in a cruel mockery of a pace line — pedaling our singlespeeds as fast as our legs would go, but still unable to go faster than 16mph.

Within a mile, Kenny’s tire had gone flat again.

The First Big Climb

Some races take a lot of study to understand and plan for. The Crusher is not one of them. It is, quite frankly, the simplest-to-remember race I can think of. Let me explain:

  1. Climb up for a really long time
  2. Descend for a little while
  3. Climb up for a really long time
Honestly, that’s pretty much it. Some of it’s on pavement. Some of it’s on dirt. The descending (step 2) is over in what feels like a few minutes (it was horrible for me last year, but much much better for me on a mountain bike, especially with my brand new RockShox fork). The rest of the day looks like this:

00796 01 1187
“Fatty Looks at His Front Tire,” courtesy Zazoosh Media

During this first climb, I felt wonderful. Which is my way of saying that I felt like I was about to die, but in a good way. I stood, pedaled, looked around, passed a bunch of people, and got passed by others.

I wasn’t sure, but I figured I was in fifth or sixth place, singlespeed-wise. 

The Second Big Climb

It’s really pretty amazing how certain things get built up in your head as impossibly difficult, only to wind up being not that bad. Which is my way of saying that the big washboarded dirt road descent was as easy for me this year as it was difficult for me last year. In fact, I passed a few people on the downhill, which is a bit of a rarity for me.

Of course, they all passed me back once we got onto the road section of the descent.

As I began the second climb — the climb that would go on, essentially, for about 22 miles, to the end of the race — I passed another singlespeeder; now I was in fourth place. Or maybe fifth. But I was doing pretty well.

Shortly after, the cramps began. 

First, the hamstring on my left leg. Then the hamstring on my right. Then some muscle that I wasn’t even aware of. Cramps so bad they would make me cry aloud.

Eventually, I was forced off my bike. I leaned forward, hard, stretching my legs as I walked, until I could ride again.

This happened perhaps three times. People would ride by, knowingly asking, “Cramps?”


And there was really nothing to be said after that.

The Moment of “Drama”

Somehow, though, I managed to get past the hardest part of the climb. I got to about mile 58. Maybe mile 59. 

And then — without any particular warning — I suddenly knew I had a problem. I shall endeavor to be as genteel as possible in the description of said problem, so as to not offend the sensibilities of those who are of a sensitive disposition.

Which is to say, I stood up to fart and — partway through that fart — discovered there was much more to this fart than I originally suspected.

How am I doing with the “genteel” thing?

Not so good?


You should be aware, however, that it’s going to get worse. I recommend that if you prefer to avoid the remarkably unsavory details of what came next, you just look at a few of these really nice pictures of The Hammer as she raced, and then skip on to the “At The Finish Line” section.”

00796 01 0874
“The Hammer in the First Ten Miles,” courtesy Zazoosh Media

00796 02 1083
“The Hammer Gaps a Racer on a Brutal Climb,” courtesy Zazoosh Media

00796 01 3405
“The Hammer Battles The Incredibly Steep Finishing Straight,” courtesy Zazoosh Media

00796 01 3408
“The Hammer Finishes,” courtesy Zazoosh Media

There. Now you should probably skip on over to “At The Finish Line.” Or you’ll be sorry.

Unsavory Details

I clenched, willing that which wanted out to stay put. To go back up. To stay dormant, for just ten more miles. Less than an hour. That’s all I needed. I was, after all, on track for a finish right around 5:30, which I figured would not put me on the podium, but it would get me pretty darned close.

And, for a moment, it worked. I continued riding. But biology will have its way. And in this case, the way was out.

So, I dropped my bike on the side of the road and scrambled about down the steep mountainside — the only way I could do what I had to do out of site. 

I found a felled tree laying on the ground, knew that I would find no better seat in the near future, and commenced to strip.

By the time I had my jersey off (it had to come off because I was wearing bib shorts), I had begun to shake. My body somehow knew that I was giving in to its demands, and had lit a fuse.

A very short fuse.

I didn’t know if I was going to get seated in time, to be honest.  

But I did. Barely.

And there I sat for the next ten minutes. Each minute thinking I was maybe done, and each minute knowing that I wasn’t. 

And, over and over, as rider after rider went by, I was forced to answer the calls of “You OK down there?” with the cry of “Just fine!” 

And also, I spent quite a bit of time wondering how in the world I was going to clean up. If you’ll look at the photo of me early in the race and the ones that follow, you should be able to tell what my solution was. Hint: there were no leaves about of sufficient size to do any good whatsoever.

Finally, I was done. I scrambled back up the mountain, and took off, one urgency replaced with another.

At The Finish Line

Eleven minutes (according to Strava) had elapsed. How many singlespeeders had passed me? I didn’t know. Had Kenny gone by? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I only had eight or so miles to go, and I was going to go my hardest.

Five last miles of dirt flew by. Then two miles of pavement. Then the final turn, leading to a mile of extraordinarily steep climbing. So steep I had to paperboy it until I was in sight of the finishing line.

Trust me, I am not hamming it up in these photos (all courtesy Zazoosh Media):

00796 01 3068

00796 01 3071

00796 01 3072

And then, finally, this:

00796 01 3075

My finishing time: 5:45:42. Which was good enough for sixth place. 

In other words, two singlespeeders passed me while I sat naked on a log during the final eight miles of this race.

Very soon after, Kenny came across the line. “Have you been here long?” he asked. 

“About two minutes,” I said. 

“Dammit,” he replied.

Someday, he and I will have a conversation about which of the two of us was waylaid longer, and therefore was actually faster during this race. My guess is he will not want to go into specifics.

Then, a few minutes later — with a time of 6:15 — The Hammer crossed the finish line. If she would have registered in her age group, 36 – 49 women, she would have podiumed. This time would have gotten her second place, in fact. The Hammer has officially broken through to a new level. 

And I…well, I need to buy some new gloves.

PS About Levi: Levi finished the race in 4:06. A new course record. Here he is at the finish line with race organizer Burke Swindlehurst:

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Courtesy Zazoosh Media

And another on the course, demonstrating that it can be lonely at the front:

00796 02 0631

Some Things Are Meant To Happen, And I’m Pretty Sure This Is One Of Them

07.11.2013 | 6:34 am

An Executive Summary from Fatty: Today’s post tells the story of how I stumbled into the opportunity to turn my jersey pre-order into a way to give away an incredible bike, raise money for World Bicycle Relief, and have that money matched, dollar-for-dollar, by Trek. 

I’m worried that for some people, it might be one of those “Too long, didn’t read” posts, though (even though I personally think it’s really interesting), so here are the basics of how the contest works, copied-and-pasted from the details section later in this post:

  • The prize that will be given away is a Trek Project One Madone 7 Series Road Bike, painted in the color scheme of your choice. It will have the ENVE road wheels, road handlebars, stem, and seatpost of your choice, and SRAM Red drivetrain, brakes, and levers. This is, quite easily, a $15,000 bike.
  • When you purchase a 2014 jersey (Short-sleeve Men’s / Women’s or Long-sleeve Men’s / Women’s), Twin Six and I will donate $20 to WBR, netting you two chances at the prize. Trek will match this donation, so your jersey purchase nets World Bicycle Relief $40, and you get two more chances. And WBR will kick in a bonus chance, bringing you up to five total chances at the prize. 
  • The jersey pre-order ends Tuesday, July 16
  • The contest to win the bike continues after the jersey pre-order, going to the end of July 2013. Next week, after the jersey pre-order ends, I’ll be putting up and promoting a donation page, where you can donate directly without purchasing anything, for people who want to help World Bicycle Relief and might like to win an incredible bike, but don’t really want a FatCyclist jersey. Awesomely, Trek will still match your donation.
  • Because a prize is on offer, the donation part of your jersey purchase is not tax-deductible. 
Some Things Are Meant To Happen, And I’m Pretty Sure This Is One Of Them

I’m not even sure where to start with this story; it doesn’t have a single, simple path. Instead, it starts in a lot of places, and kind of converges here and now. 

So let me ask you to stay with me for a bit on this. I think you’ll find it’s worth it. 

December, 2012

Last December, I was deep into my “Grand Slam for Zambia 2: This Time It’s Personal” fundraiser when I got an email from Jeremy at ENVE Composites — a maker of beautiful, very high-end carbon wheels and components.

He said he loved what World Bicycle Relief is doing, and he’d like ENVE to help with fundraising for them.

At the time, I had so many prizes on offer that I told him we should stay in touch; at some point there would be a perfect opportunity for ENVE to be a big part of a WBR fundraiser.


May, 2013

After spending several months reading about ENVE wheels and talking with people who have ENVE wheels and beginning to obsess over ENVE components in general, I got a new bike with a set of SES 6.7 Clinchers, a Compact Road Bar, and a 100mm stem.

A couple weeks later, I raced this new bike at the Rockwell Relay, and knocked seventeen minutes off Team Fatty’s previous best during the first stage of the race.

I promise you: the wheels matter.

This Week

This is where the story starts getting a little bit crazy. 

Monday: I launched the pre-order for the 2014 gear pre-order. Usually with these pre-orders, a big chunk of the profits go to a charity. However, I didn’t have a big event coming up, so — out of laziness I guess — didn’t make a charity a part of the pre-order. 

Also Monday: I found out that Trek, during the month of July, is matching donations to World Bicycle Relief, dollar for dollar

Still Also Monday: A little light bulb went off in my head.

Tuesday: I called Katie at WBR, asking for more information about this matching program. “Is it for all donations to WBR?” I asked.

“Yes it is,” she replied. 

“Would you be interested in having a fundraiser during July to help really take advantage of Trek’s generosity?” I asked.

“Yes I would,” she said.

“Have you heard of ENVE Composites?” I asked.

“Of course I have,” Katie said. 

“Do you happen to know of someone who could donate a really, really, really nice frame as part of a fundraiser for WBR — to go with the ENVE components?”

“As a matter of fact,” said Katie, “I do.”

As it turns out, Trek — as part of their incredibly generous partnership with WBR, had made a Project One Madone 7 Series frameset — Trek’s absolutely highest-end road bike — available for fundraising. 


For those of you who don’t know, the Madone 7 is an outrageously great road bike. And the Project One version of it means you get to customize the colors and design scheme so it is yours.

At this point, I fell out of my chair. Don’t worry. I was fine.

And then I called ENVE and said, “Remember how I said I’d find the perfect fundraiser to match you up with? Well, I just found it.”


It didn’t take us long to agree that this was pretty incredible: We were going to give away a Trek Series 7 Madone, tricked out with Project One colors, and set up with ENVE wheels, handlebars, stem, and seatpost, and finished off with the top-of-the-line SRAM Red drivetrain, brakes and levers.

And the best part of it is, every donation made would get doubled, courtesy of Trek.


I called Brent at Twin Six. “Hey,” I said, “You know how the new jersey doesn’t have a charity tied to it?”

“Yeah,” Brent said. “That seems a little off to us.”

“Me too,” I said. “So let’s fix it.” And I told them about the Project One / ENVE / SRAM Red dream bike that had just fallen into my lap, and how we were going to use it to get lots and lots of kids in Africa onto bikes, and change their lives.


“How about this,” Brent said. “When anyone orders a jersey — either short sleeves (women’s sizing too) or long sleeves (women’s sizing too)– we’ll have $20 of it go to World Bicycle Relief.”

“Plus,” I said, “Trek doubles their donation, so actually $40 goes to World Bicycle Relief. So, for a short-sleeve jersey, that’s like half the cost of the jersey. And at ten dollars per chance at winning this bike, that’s four chances at winning the bike.”

“Let’s make this retroactive, too,” said Brent. “To be fair to anyone who already purchased a jersey. We’ll donate $20 on their behalf too.”

“That sounds good,” said Katie at WBR when she heard about this, “but how about we give jersey purchasers — whether they already bought one or are going to buy one now — a bonus chance, as thanks for supporting Fatty and WBR?”

The Details

So now you know how a fundraiser comes together: basically through luck, fortunate timing, and a lot of good people who love to do the right thing.

Just in case your head’s swimming from all the back and forth here, here are the essentials of how this contest will work:

  • The prize that will be given away is a Trek Project One Madone 7 Series Road Bike, painted in the color scheme of your choice. It will have the ENVE road wheels, road handlebars, stem, and seatpost of your choice, and SRAM Red drivetrain, brakes, and levers. This is, quite easily, a $15,000 bike.
  • When you purchase a 2014 jersey (Short-sleeve Men’s / Women’s or Long-sleeve Men’s / Women’s), Twin Six and I will donate $20 to WBR, netting you two chances at the prize. Trek will match this donation, so your jersey purchase nets World Bicycle Relief $40, and you get two more chances. And WBR will kick in a bonus chance, bringing you up to five total chances at the prize. 
  • The jersey pre-order ends Tuesday, July 16
  • The contest to win the bike continues after the jersey pre-order, going to the end of July 2013. Next week, after the jersey pre-order ends, I’ll be putting up and promoting a donation page, where you can donate directly without purchasing anything, for people who want to help World Bicycle Relief and might like to win an incredible bike, but don’t really want a FatCyclist jersey. Awesomely, Trek will still match your donation.
  • Because a prize is on offer, the donation part of your jersey purchase is not tax-deductible. 

Honestly, I’m pretty much amazed at this contest. It’s a dream frame, customized to your personality, with incredible above-top-end wheels and components. This is, quite literally, going to be a nicer bike than what all but very few top pros ride.

More importantly, though — because after all, only one person’s going to win this bike — no matter what, you’re going to be making a huge difference in people’s lives. A bike for a girl in Zambia means she can stay in school longer. Have more time for studying. Get water for her family easier. Have a greater range of work opportunities. You can learn more over at WBR’s site, or maybe watch a little slideshow from my trip to Zambia here.

Thank you, and good luck!

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